Amandine

Disclaimer: all the below is my own biased limited view-point of course. I'll always be on the side of the underdog, even whilst keeping open-minded and seeing different sides of the situation. I like with what Dr. Todd Grande has to say (I recommend checking out his videos, he analyses the personalities and mental states of various public figures involved in well-known cases). He believes Chauvin has the Four “Dark Personality” Traits (4 tetrad), namely psychopath, narcissist, Machiavellian, and sadist (altho' he admits the machiavellian part is not apparent), and explains why he thinks Chauvin is guilty of 1st Degree Murder. Amen. I've looked at everything Leo has written about the case and I don't see anything that could be said to be necessarily "untrue" or non-sensical in itself, and I believe he realistically understands quite well the grassroots level of things on a politico-social level. But I was disappointed at the stance he took in the significant historical context of this one, seemingly spending an inordinate amount of time "justifying" the murder and explaining the tough cop work and underfunded resources than showing any sorrow for an actual human life taken away flagrant delit by a cop conscious he was being filmed for the whole world to see as though that human life had no value, cold-bloodedly murdered in broad daylight ... because he knew he could ... and get away with it. This is an important point. Like hey, who's gonna bat an eyelid? Plenty of folk'll sympathize with me offing the crazy dude, black lives don't matter, perps scum don't matter, I mean hey, look what I've gotta put up with? Being "part of the problem" actually entails falling for this bait, Chauvin is counting on us (and our prejudices) to justify his murder as the video circulates internationally. Bad calculation on his behalf! So, in this context, no way am I going to excuse Leo's "problematic opinions". For me, him and his ilk are "part of the problem", aka white privilege. I watched the video in May and felt angry and cried over the scene, then came on this forum and the first thing I see from Leo is "police work is hard", followed by "police brutality is just love" and "policing assholes is difficult" (I'll spare you the rest), which made me even more angry. In my rage, I wrote a barrage of F-words, which were swiftly deleted by the mods who warned me to "take a chill pill". Came back when the mods "were out" and attacked Leo with a string of silly belligerent limericks, which I later deleted after doing some personal work, and realising they were more to do with my own personal projections of anger, which I would be well to deal with through some self-analysis. Personal responsability and all that. When other influencers on social media were using their platforms for the Black Lives Matter message in this historical moment in time in order to herald all-important change and better opportunities for blacks, (and we suddenly saw great things happening everywhere, like racist people being abruptly fired from jobs, etc) Leo didn't use that opportunity. On the contrary, his rhetoric was sounding more and more Trump-like with its lack of emotion, compassion and humanity, not a word of empathy for Floyd or the black movement, no Blackout Tuesday on this forum lol. Leo should have been invited to the Oval Office, he'd have had a great bonding conversation with the president. Sorry Leo, you must cringe reading that, but I just can't help imagining Trump loving what you'd have to say, you'd be his n°1 BFF for sure. I believe Leo has put himself in the cops' shoes, but nothing yet indicates to me that he's put himself in Floyd's shoes (or a black's, or a criminal's shoes). Surely merely for credibility's sake, you would do that if you want to present an unbiased perspective. I know if I were Leo, responsable for an influential platform, I wouldn't have leaned so heavily on sympathizing with the "system" but would have definitely had some compassionate words for Floyd and his plight and would have done my upmost to express my outrage and been part of the so-important movement. I haven't even seen any empathy for Floyd (and "his like") on Leo's behalf, which is a shame to me. Why not, I wonder? After all, he doesn't hold back on Trump (hasn't he called him a "narcissist sociopath"?). Why not give Trump the same privilege as Chauvin. After all, Trump's surely got a tough job too (like Chauvin), he's only got a huge country to govern lol. It's strange to me, Leo can run down Trump, but he "protects" Chauvin, albeit subtly and indirectly . I'm all for providing alternative ways of viewing things in a more balanced way, but c'mon man. A bit of heart in this cold, cruel world. Gotta be a human before attempting Superhuman (or God lol). But hey we know Leo's all about radically maverick and non-conformist opinions and helping people open their minds and see different perspectives, so what he said was to be expected I suppose. I have a lot of deep respect for Leo, I love him, he really is an awesome guy (if he didn't exist, you'd have to invent him), but this is my last message and my last visit on this forum in solidarity to Floyd among other things, cos the head honcho let me down badly on this one. I know what it's like from personal experience to be the helpless outraged bystander in a matter-of-life-and-death situation screaming at the sadist not to kill someone and be "threatened with pepper spray" if I utter another sound, I've been there, so this is a personal thing linked to my own personal trauma and probably less really to do with Leo. So yeah inexcusable, gotta agree. Sorry I haven't expressed myself that well in all this, I'm still a work in progress lol, but something's really got stuck in my throat concerning Leo's Floyd opinions. Again all this is just my own personal biased and emotional reaction. I hate with a vengeance cowardly bullies like Chauvin and will always stand up to them. Sincerely wish you all the very best tho' and thank you for all the rest. Turn anger to action #RIPFloyd #november votes #blacklives matter duh

Wow, thank you @Keyhole, fascinating stuff (and alas alarming), I love 'em even more and more now, done a complete 180° turn around on them today lol.

Good point, makes sense, the only problem tho' is that the "massive vision" isn't getting you out of bed either, is it?

I guess, mea culpa, but it's taking one hell of a paradigm shift for me to digest that right now. Guilty as charged milord, tis enough with old covid to deal with which probably came from bats, but that's not their fault without worrying about zika too. If the Dalai Lama was not averse to squatting the pesky buggers, neither am I. Am only talking about mozzies and bats mind, not EVERY creature in the universe, so am not that much of a devil really, I'm actually a lot like this lovely lady herself in the video, man I won't even step on an ant, would never kill anything bigger than a fruit fly, yet I'd defo draw the line at tucking in a Mr Belgrave at night. Beggars belief how people actually eat them, ugh those huge webbed wings! ****** Update: ok, just back from a bit of self-analysis. Take back everything I said about bats personifying (yeah inappropriate word lol) evil, that was ignorant of me, I realise I'm scared of bats because I thought they were aggressive creatures which attacked humans, which is completely false. On the contrary: "bats are terrified of humans and do not fly down to attack you. ... If you are outside, bats may come close if there are insects around your head so they can eat them but they are just as scared of you as you are of them. Bats will try to avoid contact with humans. They're shy, gentle, intelligent and timid." Wow, that changes my whole perspective on them, I'd even go so far as to pet one now and see the beauty, love and cuteness in them, Mr Belgrave's big black beady eyes no longer scare me. I love their reciprocal altruism, they could actually teach humans a thing or two about selflessness lol.

What a lovely lady, surely she deserves more than Green, after all that's a freaking bat we're talking about. I dunno, those creatures scare the bejeezus out of me however cute you try and make them with fluffy white towels and banana treats, they're almost evil personified in my books, stuff that nightmares or bad trips are made of, probs watched too many Count Dracaula films in my day. But damn, she ain't scared of nothing that lovely lady, bless her, we need more like her in this world! Bats do after all serve a purpose, at keeping insects and mosquitos at bay for one thing.

Methinks you're setting the bar a wee bit too high. Maybe lower your aspirations a tad, and start with some baby steps? Steps that are concrete, practical and do-able right now. Like finishing the next 10 pages of the book you've set yourself to read, completing the last 15% of the LPC, etc. Ya know, tie up some of your loose ends a bit to start with. If only to start feeling better about yourself, instead of seeing yourself as a kinda shameful failure with pipe dreams. This procrastination is all just resistance, 'tis all. Focus today on doing things that make you feel better about yourself, even proud of yourself.

MONEY is your answer, it's the key to your freedom to escape from this toxicity and dysfunction, of course you already know that. If I were you, I would keep out of her way as much as possible while living with her, in the meantime try "humouring" her so she doesn't get a rise out of you and use you as her scapegoat. Keep practicing self-love as tho' your life depends on it (it does)! I would try EVERYTHING in my power to try and find a way of getting enough money to be financially free of her. I imagine she's paying your way through college. Have you had any ideas on how you can gain some financial autonomy, what kind of part-time/weekend jobs you could do, perhaps put some money aside to save? I would look for opportunities to make/save as much money as possible, yes even as a student lol (it's what I did). You'll always have a sadness tho' whether you decide to be far away from her or not, the mother bond being a powerful one. It's also sad because our mums are suffering too and they sometimes don't know (or want to know) how to deal with their pain, apart from projecting it (onto us).

7, wow, never heard that before. Was it with the same girl lol ?

Sorry mate, you don't sound very psychic just from that phrase alone, if you don't mind me saying.

Dance like MJ and you'll get laid in no time.

but Leo, we're all a work in progress, and we're all God's creatures. Couldn't ya just find it in yerself to love us all a lil bit more, ignorant gits that we are? Just be thankful you're not where we are. It hurts me whenever someone gets kicked outta here, even tho' they always seem to sneak back in under a new alias the crafty little sods that they are, so what's the point, eh? it reminds me of me old man chucking us kids out of the car in the middle of the motorway cos we talked too loud, you know as kids do. We had to find our own way home.

Didn't you see his last trip report video? That was some party going on right there. Doesn't it give you just a little bit of FOMO?

Dedicating this one to Leo, we all wanna be where you are haha. He kinda looks like a marionette in this dance, amazing talent and energy, the little kid mesmerizes me, OMG I just wanna give him a big fat hug, he's defo being orange here tho', with a hint of flower power.

Were you still smiling the next morning @VeganAwake ?

Hahahaha don't know why your answer made me laugh so much. Yeah, you'll get there @Dazgwny if no other way than by the skin of your teeth. 😅