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Popularity has more to do with the heavenly realms bleeding through than anything else. At that point I'm seeing 'higher beings' and it is bleeding through into reality. There are strange, alien circumstances of intimacy. Like a huge orgy, only no sex (only with adults). Everyone is popular. It's just that I'm radiating an energy that results in intimacy.

Life has become empty for me. Some years ago I was focusing only on spirituality, and when I look back I was probably on the verge of going crazy, at least according to what is perceived as normal. I was desperately trying to achieve a state of total universal emersion, like trying to merge 3D reality into fluid like infinite energy, total oneness. I could sort of do this sober, but when I smoked weed it really amplified "my" ability to do that. It made me so alien from others though. My friends just smoked to listen to music and watch silly videos and stuff, but while I was listening to the same music I could literally hear God speaking through all of the musicians and I saw God playing these human characters in the silly videos... Now it is 2 years later and I haven't smoked in probably a year or so. I've lost all of those childhood friends, my closest and only friends. I'm empty now. Like life has no spirit anymore, the mystery isn't there. I've listened to all the videos of Jim Newman, Tony Parsons and others likeminded for years. In my early years of spiritual seeking I listened to Eckhart Tolle, then moved to Adyashanti, Rupert Spira, Mooji and like-minded "Guru's" but when they didn't lead me anywhere I moved to Jim newman and Tony parsons. Let's just call it Tony Parsons message. There is no after Tony Parsons message, it totally destroys the joy of seeking truth, it just leaves you seeking without any hope of finding, but you're still seeking. "This is it" is the worst message ever. Like how can this be it? Are we just doomed to this human existences where we have to play this human game? If I had the energy to be pissed I would. I would be pissed that I'm controlled by this monkey body and brain, living in a society of nothing more than other human monkeys playing the same game as every other animal, just more advanced. I WANT FOOD, I WANT SEX WITH GIRL, I WANT TO BE HIGH STATUS SO I CAN GET MORE STATUS, MORE GIRLS, MORE FOOD, OOGA BOOGA insert happy monkey sound. The longing to transcend all of this crap is strong, but the hope to do that has been stolen from me, because "This is it." I feel like an alien, trapped in a human body with its overpowering natural desires to replicate and eat.

Didn't know you were into jazz fusion, awesome! As far as guitar goes I think Alan Holdsworth is perhaps the most alien player ever. Personally I prefer players that are more like Guthrie though, I think the conventional stuff offers a nice context for the more out there stuff while Holdsworth is more out there all the time. With that being said Holdsworth is a monster. I would say Cory Henry of Snarky Puppy(whom I've seen live). Check out Lingus for a killer solo. He's a keyboard/organ player. Absolutely insane player. There are so many insane solos from him on YouTube. Another one that comes to mind is John Coltrane (his solos in A Love Supreme.. they just get better and better, are super innovative and unconventional). Saxophone master. Honourable mention for me is Jeff Beck, guitarist with very unique style(solo 2:56): https://youtu.be/VC02wGj5gPw But as far as guitar goes Scott Henderson(whom I've also seen live with his trio) is my candidate(solo starts 4:30, amps up 5:27), he has his own unique style:

Thats true. And that's why I said a radically different state of consciousness is required to recognize the beauty and perfection in what we call evil. Don't get me wrong..reality would be a HELL of a lot better...no pun intended. Crime would be nearly gone, war would be a thing of the past.... That would be a much more conscious, turquoise society, far more advanced - with Love/Pure Consciousness as its focal point. Though not without its imperfections, it would be much like that highly advanced alien society you imagine is out there somewhere - or humanity in 1000 years.

Theres a lot of content now days about hook up culture and its negative affects, or mens spaces talk about how body count affects pair bonding. How do we morally without guilt go about dating if we aren't in a position to be in a relationship due to focusing on other areas of life ie work, self actualisation or simply find it better to have a degree of independence, or we just want to do pick up for self development. We don't want to be celibate, but don't want a full blown relationship as that takes a lot of energy and time or if you don't believe in legal marriage/want kids. Mens spaces talk about casual sex being bad for women then promote spinning plates and 'enjoying the decline'. How can we enjoy the decline when we are living in that declining society. There are karmic affects, we create the society we live in. Dating can be viewed as development in that through the pain/pleasure cycle we experience, it forces us to seek the peace of presence which is always with us, it can be a force that pushes us and others towards self actualisation. But what we actually see in reality is most people becoming bitter, nihilistic, closed off, and dis embodied. They'll still have sex or meet those needs, but with minimal emotion, only going through the motions. And this is helped further through numbing, and substances such as alcohol, drugs etc. A emotionally healthy person should be able to feel emotion, a spiritually advanced person will feel emotion and yet not get attached. Thats what life and especially dating should teach us, to not be attached to form, and yet enjoy it. Be in the world yet not of it, I just don't see that happen and so have to question whether I want to contribute to that suffering. Knowledge makes one aware of the amoral aspect of human nature and biology when it comes to mating, evolution doesn't care about human happiness. We have to consciously live life to find happiness without giving in to some of our instincts. Ancient instincts, in a alien modern environment if not controlled will cause pain. Its why we can't just gorge on sugar salt fat, or have to fight to not be lazy when survival is taken care of. In the same way our mating instincts can cause a lot of problems and is in the modern world. As we become aware of the negative emotional consequences unfettered mating has long term when people can't get into relationships or have so much baggage from failed hook ups or dating trying to lock down people or guys who just want to keep things casual, it makes it harder to partake in the dating game knowing its negative effects it has on women and society. Even if you are honest that you don't want anything serious, people still try to change you or view it as a challenge, and even if they sleep with you that can bond them despite what they say. In the end people get hurt and there is collateral damage. What is the right path.. our instincts drive us to mate, but awareness of the heartbreak those instincts can have causes conflict on what to do. The celibate life is lonely and your suppressing your desire unless transcended, the bachelor life is emotionally taxing and causes guilt of countless heart breaks, the monogamous relationship route is a huge time/energetic investment and thats if you even find the right partner, that also comes with its own challenges as being life long monogamous isn't even within our nature and is almost a spiritual yoga in and of itself. Each have theirs pros and cons and offer growth in different ways. Even if one wants a relationship, the process that leads there ie dating is bound to cause emotional heart break. Maybe the past way of courting (ie dating without sex) was the safest way as sex emotionally bonds us too much to people we find in the end aren't even compatible. People we have love affairs with aren't always people we can build a life with, and that whole process adds baggage disrupting happiness in future relationships. Now we get to know people whilst having sex, where as before people got to know each other before sex. Maybe that is the best method of dating whilst minimising heart break.. but attempting that in todays world you'll come across weak or not confident enough before they move on to someone that seems more 'serious' in their eyes.

Thanks for the link, I see all of this is very alien to psychedelic trips, as there is a lot of specific terminologies I don't understand, and specific pathways that are not in line with drug trips (since drug trips don't follow any specific order). A DMT breakthrough will cause something that to me sounds like the result of what is described there. Leo's descriptors of his experiences are ofc more in line with what is familiar to me as he just does a bunch of drugs.

@Thought Art Compassion for the victims, the shooters, and the polarization that this gun culture is in the USA, which is more a stage turquoise value, where spirituality is more valued. funny feelings in your chest, also called love. In tier 2, which comprises a small group and a small percentage of individuals, at that level, they are deeply aware of the depth and complexity of fixing a problem, like gun culture of America, at least vastly aware of it than those in the lower stages, who are not aware of this complexity and depth of the issue. The gulf of understanding and awareness between tier 1 to 2 is like that of a pond to an ocean, that vast and alien.

You were tripping tbh dude, Connor Murphy thought he was an alien sent to Earth to spread the gospel. Most of the tangible "ideas" are not that reliable. I've tripped in excess of 100 times easily, never felt love ever. Barely ever feel it in sober life either. It never arises so it's never part of my "insights"... The spontaneity of creation seems right... I've been able to "will" things on DMT, but I think perhaps it may be the inverse of what causes deja vu. Deja vu is when your conscious mind lags a bit out of sync, creating the sensation it's happened before because you already registered what you are aware of now. It's just a tiny lag... And when for example I decide to "will" Marge Simpson's hair into a trip (yes, I was high, it happens) that might be the reverse where there is perfect sync. So the """desire""" for a thing (which is ofc really just a thought) happens totally in sync and simultaneously with the conscious mind's rendering of it, giving a sense that it has been chosen... But before I "wanted" to make Marge's hair appear, there wasn't a moment of choosing for that want to appear... I suspect there isn't actually will, just unfurling. Infinity is out of control, which makes sense really. Borders are what gives things stability. No borders is chaos.

This is popping up a lot nowadays and I can't quite put my finger on this. I feel like this talking point about freedom of speech is commonly used to deflect from all of the misinformation and conspiracy theories being spread by the right wing so they can whip up a culture war and obscure the truth further by hiding behind the false pretense of freedom. This seems like a very annoying talking point to challenge because it is simplistic, dogmatic, and absolutistic. It leads to various straw mans such as "you are censoring me" "I have as much of a right to speech as you do" and other nonsensical arguments. This seems like such a stupid distraction from challenging incorrect statements. It is not about silencing you, it is about deprogramming lies. This talking point is designed to shut down reasonable counter arguments through a straw man of "attacking my rights." This is kind of like the "America first" pseudo moral argument for turning refugees away among other short sighted dogmatic positions to undermine globalization, racial equality, and more. It is almost like a pseudo moral argument for somebody harassing you, calling you the n word, spreading slander, and inciting panic. The freedom of speech talking point is like a false front of genuine concern over censorship in order to enable explicit racism, hatred, bigotry, through falsely equating it to all forms of civil speech, thus normalizing blatant lies, hate speech, and alt right ideologies which would allow the Republican party to maintain power by pandering to these hate groups. It seems like one of those fake moral panics like critical race theory, Dr. Seuss books, trans gender pedophiles, Satanists, the commies, the illegal alien pedophiles, and more. Freedom of speech is just the most prevalent and stubborn pseudo moral panic that the Republican party is pushing. I can't see this game being sustainable for the Republican party because by making the hatred of its base more explicit, it will only further radicalize the popular support against them. They already struggle with the popular vote constantly, and they must pander to a hateful minority in order to keep power which can't be good for them long term, especially considering all the other unsustainable tactics they use to maintain tyranny of the minority. The idea that the left is pushing an Orwellian ideology to destroy America seems completely overblown utterly ridiculous as the Republican party desperately struggles to survive its low information, racist and bigoted base through crusading against social media and creating widespread moral panic out of thin air. How would you try to put what conservatives are doing with this talking point into words?

Image gallery Over the weekend I assembled and tested an emesh vaporizer for use with n,n-DMT. Atomizer: Mesh Pro RDA from wish Mod: Paranormal DNA 250C Mesh: .43 ohm 400 mesh sheet cut to ~39mm Settings: SS316 20W 206°C Dose: 30mg Setting: A cool and gray Saturday morning on the couch in my living room. Birds singing outside. Set: Relaxed, curious, open, and committed. I loaded 30mg in a small pile on the mesh and fired it. In a brief puff of smoke all of the DMT was wicked into the mesh. I was shocked at how quickly and efficiently this took place. No spattering or dripping. Placing the cap on the atomizer, I spent a moment connecting with my breath and my intention. "Whatever you have to show me, I'm ready" I raised the vaporizer to my mouth, fired it, and inhaled. It was the fastest psychedelic dissolution I have ever experienced. There were none of the typical markers of a DMT come up: No tunnel of blooming fractals, no alien alphabet, no parting veil. No intermediary anything. I was immediately deposited into a rolling shifting 4D landscape that was made of meaning. I was "inside of" ideas, emotions, people, memories, and objects, all illuminated with a kind of gentle pastel glow. A kind of hushed telepathy calmed and reassured me, so that I could listen and pay attention: "This is what life is. You are everything, you are experiencing yourself from the inside out. Life is perfect, it is your creation. Relax. It's okay. It's just like this." The overall sensory impression was like being under a white sheet and cuddling with all of creation. The transforming topography of that space would coalesce into limbs, which would then lovingly caress me. Then the limbs would part to reveal concepts and scenes either dreamt or forgotten. It was exhilarating, astonishing, yet also natural. Peaceful. Over the course of 10 minutes the scene lost coherence, giving way to subtle and diminishing soft closed eye visuals. "Thank you." I said. "Thank you." This experience absolutely took my breath away. I was still experiencing some mild open eye visuals, and sat in peaceful no-mind meditation for a few minutes as the effects drew to a close. It left me shaking as strong tryptamines often do. I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon drinking an immaculately aged Taiwanese oolong and finishing a DMT extraction for a friend. This was a 10/10 experience from a technical standpoint. People in the community report that this route of administration can require a lot of tinkering, so I'm grateful that it went well right off the bat. This method completely takes the user's experience level out of the equation in regards to proper inhalation etc. Thanks for reading. I'm open to questions about the experience or technical questions regarding setup etc.

I've reached out to Alien "me's" and I got the message from the higher self, I am you. Still don't really get it, though, and solipsism isn't my thing - I still feel like a bubble amongst other bubbles, but not as being the entire soup. I can feel other's bubbles around me - as their own ""Godheads"" - but they all feel like they are moving towards one centralized space. This was the message, I have clairaudience and can hear messages and consciousness and beings in music. This one happened back in 2018 when I was dancing in a very present state, I just moved with whatever felt right in my body and then this song came on and I could "hear" my higher self - but it felt very "alien".

You're still not getting it. Yes, you are all there is. You can verify it and see all of infinity within you. But that says nothing about the potential for alien yous to exist. You have no way to reach out to them, as you can never leave your own self.

The highest levels of consciousness I have reached have made regular functioning practically impossible. Some examples: Usually I completely disidentify as the human body which makes movement extremely hard because I cant comprehend why I would even try to survive. Other times I dont even know if I have my eyes open or closed, because I collapse that duality, so I cannot distinguish between the two supposedly separate states. At other times all of symbolic language collapses, alongside the illusion of memory, and everything becomes meaningless, so reading any symbols will be like reading an alien language. Or I get into a state where I see the Truth so clearly that I am having difficulty sustaining breathing alone due to the amount of euphoria accompanying the realization of Truth. You can probably reach a relatively higher state of consciousness while still retaining your normal abilities of survival, perhaps even enhancing them, but at the highest levels it almost always makes it impossible to act in a normal way.

They live - Those magic sunglasses that negate the TV signal that alters our perception... Dark City - Alien run experiment that puts humans in different lives and identities Devs - Mini series about quantum computers, singularity, quantum mechanics, parallel universes Flatland - How 2d beings perceive reality Instinct (1999)- Professor ditches the games of human society and goes to the jungle, lives with gorillas, but humans do not let him be... Pi (1998) - Explores themes of religion, mysticism, and the relationship of the universe to mathematics In-shadow - Animated short film. Embark on a visionary journey through the fragmented unconscious of our modern times

Holy shit. I swear I just stared into the eyes of an alien or supernatural creature. Not okay. I was not ready for that.

@jake473 Hey thanks for responding and sorry for the late response back. I haven't checked into the forum for a while, but I'm glad I did. Happy to hear you're on a road back and massive props to making it such a commitment. Thanks for the resources and the new angles I can tackle my situation from! I've had a very sedentary lifestyle ever since my early teen years. I did some exercise here and there, actually running as well (which I eventually quit because I kept getting calf issues). The issues became noticeable literally from one moment to the other and developed after that. I've had horrible posture basically always and to add that to the sedentary lifestyle was probably the origins. I currently work a VERY active job but whenever I'm free I'm basically behind a computer. I've had many examinations of my body to find the problems and basically two things came out of it: one was lack of abdominal strength and the other was the fascia. I did get some tips at the time but couldn't really follow them up since it involved the gym which was closed at that time due to the corona. I'm currently working on the ab strength which is a slow process and tbh I have no idea what I'm doing. The fascia thing, I have no idea where to start. I haven't found anything that noticeably made a difference in the symptoms so it's just doing stuff in hopes of noticing an effect at some point. I think I remember the PT telling me to basically need full body stretches but again, no idea where to start. Hearing your process is scary to me as you seem to go focused and deep into the exercises. I find it incredibly difficult to notice what I'm doing during the exercises. I don't have a clue whether or not I'm doing them correctly, which muscles I use, I don't really feel them and I often notice other issues after the exercises. I'm so unaware of what's going on in and with my body that I don't notice what I'm doing. So being this precise and aware seems kinda alien to me. Cheers, thanks a lot and keep going!

Wow, i couldn't help myself, i had to write "scary alien". This tool is actually addicting.

@Leo Gura Thank you for the pointers. I’ll try 10mg a few times first to get a general feel of how I feel before ramping up a little. I was expecting it to be totally alien, I guess just surrender to it. Nausea is something I’d heard was pretty common with 5–MeO so I’ll get a bucket ready and make sure a don’t eat for a good 6 hours beforehand. At this point I’m so used to puking when taking psychedelics that it is worth the slight inconvenience of it. Do you use microscoops instead of a scale? I hear what your are saying about the 2mg incremental differences. Without spending $1000+ on an analytical laboratory scale, Amazon type milligram scales seem a waste of time. @Yali I was thinking the same. But I guess once you’ve got to the point of breaking through the ego. There isn't any need to keep ramping up the dosage?

You don't need to convert freebase. It plugs great. 10mg is good to start. 5mg increases are good. 2mg is too hard to measure. 5-MeO is quite nausating. The body load is significant, alien, and a bit uncomfortable. But 15 mins in you will stop caring because you will be in God-land. Expect your first few trips to be difficult/scary. It takes several trips to get used to it. Don't quit. The best trips come later. The higher dose trips are better. You want to reach a point where you take enough to break through the ego and materialism. This will probably happen at over 20mg. But don't rush it.

Hey all. I’d like to share something. It is a mystical experience as I came to realize, but it did not involve any substance, so I must describe the conditions that brought it about. Bear with me. I know it’s a long read, I made it as compact as possible. It is autumn of 95, probably September, I am 19 years old. I don’t have the slightest clue about enlightenment, and if I have heard something about it, I have definitely labeled it in my mind as “one of many kinds of religious delusions”. I knew a few things about psychedelics, never tried anything other than marijuana. There is no internet for me yet, so no easy access to information. I am very introverted, and I like to distract my mind with philosophical issues that usually arise from my daily life and human relationships. A story from greek mythology, the one that in the beginning of his life, Hercules had to choose between the path of virtue or the path of vice, comes to my attention, and thus started my next philosophical undertaking. {Mycenaean period}*, I think to myself, {a culture that is ancient even to the ancients of classical Greece, very much different and alien to us, yet there is a concept of good and evil that is pretty much the same today}. {And if you look at modern times, in all different cultures, there is always this same concept of good and evil. As if it is part of our instincts}. {But what exactly is good and evil?} {Why should anyone be good and not evil and what is the meaning and the value of such a choice?}. *I’ll put my thoughts from the past in curly brackets{}. The answer that the evolutionary pressure led humans to become social animals and develop a code of ethics, was not good enough for me. I was looking for the essence of the matter. And I had to understand it using only logic, if possible even express it using math formulas. I used to believe that logic is the best tool to check and guide feelings, and feelings is the best tool to check and guide logic, and that they always had to validate each other. So this concept that I could very easily dismiss sentimentally, in order to have a holistic view and a deep understanding, I had to approach it logically and pragmatically. And, of course, I would do that from an objective third person perspective. So I began examining various cases in my memories, looking for intents and motives, trying to interpret thoughts and deeds, mostly in other persons, because I feared that I could not be objective in judging myself. This must have been in my mind for 2-3 weeks, I would ponder it before I would sleep, and then the first thing in the morning, and whenever I got a chance during the day. I was trying to keep it alive in the back of my head all the time. I would observe people and their behavior, trying to find something that would give me food for new thoughts. I remember at some point I had come to a conclusion that {good and evil are two ways for one to organize his relationship with the outside world}, {Different viewing angles of the same object}, {like the two sides of a coin}. But still I was not at all satisfied. At this point I was feeling overwhelmed. Although I knew I would not let it be, I had to change tactic, maybe define my questions more accurately and limit their scope. So I would be content if I could find the mechanism and the exact reasoning behind my mind’s labeling of things as “good” or “evil”. I started a process of introspection that was familiar to me from my dabbling with computer programming: To write my code, I would usually examine how my own mind worked to reach the solution. I would play my thoughts in slow motion, trying to fully analyze any conclusion that was already formed and summed up in my mind as fact. I spent a few more days contemplating, watching my own mind and its judgments on each and every situation that it found itself in, until the answer found me instead, and it literally came to me out of nowhere. I was walking on the sidewalk with my sister, next to a small park. We were going to a kind of prep school that we have here. I started having a bodily sensation like goosebumps but I knew right away that what was coming to me was something out of the ordinary. If I describe the goosebumps as a wave that comes and wets my feet as I’m standing on the beach, what I was feeling was such a wave, but instead of it crashing and receding back to the sea, it kept coming and rising, and before I knew it, it had already taken control, carrying me wherever it intended. I remember struggling to focus on putting one leg in front of the other and keep walking. If my sister was not next to me, I’d just stand there motionless. I didn’t want her to know that I was someplace else and spoil this experience for me, so I tilted my head downwards and away from her and my gaze fell on the wheel of a parked car. What was going on inside me I could not describe in language. Only after the peak of this wave had ended I could find words that would approximate it. {This wheel is me, I am this wheel} {I am all the people} {There is nothing different between me and the next person, such distinctions are silly} {Doesn’t matter if I cry and others laugh or if I laugh and others cry} {What I feel now is true love, whenever I thought I’ve felt love before, it was only a shadow of this true one}. I felt like a creature that had spent its whole life in a swamp and now for the first time it raised its head out of the muddy waters and looked at the sun on the horizon… The question I had on my mind for so many days, now felt “cute”. I know the answer as if it had always been part of me. But I have to work in order to describe it in terms of language, so that I can remember it. {I absolutely have to remember this}. I can feel that this wave is going to recede eventually, and indeed its echoes lasted as long as it took for us to walk the remaining 150 meters to our destination. The answer I managed to express out of it was that the root of all evil is always some kind of egoism. It’s the idea that there’s me and there are others, over there, different, separate. {All evil comes from the ego. There can be no evil that does not come from an ego}. The set with the label “evil” is fully contained in the set with the label “ego”. As for the opposite, no matter how much I wanted to say it, I couldn’t be certain that ego is only evil, and that these sets are equal. So here’s the formula: Evil ⊆ Ego. Ask yourself this: Why steal? Consider all the plausible reasons. Why kill? Why rape? Why deceive? {The absence of ego is true “good”, pure, effortless, consistent, independent of external or internal circumstances}. {According to this definition, from a universal perspective} I thought, {We are all evil. Just some of us more, some less}. I did not wonder back then about the possibility of no ego, or about a method of achieving it. I imagined that as something that humankind might conquer in the distant future. As for the second part of my question “why should someone be good and not evil and what is the point and the value of such a choice” I managed to express the answer like so: {Evil is lack of information. The kind of information that is beyond the borders of the self. In most cases, the information that is missing is what is in another person’s mind. Thoughts, feelings, perspectives, experiences. One that has access to this information, cannot be evil. So since the existence of evil relies upon lack of information, it cannot be considered a valid choice. It is only a silly misunderstanding, an illusion, and in no way equal or opposite to good}. {An evil person is is more like a child that has a lot to learn and to grow up}. The conclusions that this experience brought to me, did not feel like a product of my intellect. Only the “translation into language” part maybe. But there was a huge gap. I could not find my own thought patterns anywhere. I remember being very perplexed because of this. I could not even be proud of my achievement, It didn’t feel like my own, but more like something bigger than me, something that was accommodating me as a guest. Pride and achievement… My mind certainly went there, but then I had this feeling that I’m selling out this “great ideal” by being proud. This was, and still is, one of the most important moments of my life. {But why did this happen to me now and not earlier?} {It definitely came as a result of my intense philosophical seeking} I thought. {Oh, and then there’s this that might have played a part}. During this time and since about a month before that, I had been meditating for 1 to 2 hours every day. I started doing this for a reason one could never imagine. I knew back then that meditation was a practice in some eastern traditions like yoga, and that it had positive effects on the health of both mind and body, but the real reason that made me take it on was that my Dungeons and Dragons character would meditate to regain his psionic strength points and even to unlock new powers. And I found that super cool. Many years later, I was casually watching youtube videos and I stumbled upon one that, if I remember correctly, had the word “consciousness” in its title, and this was what made me click it. This guy at some point said in very plain language that enlightenment, like the kind that the Buddha had, is actually shedding one’s ego and escaping its prison. Well, I was in shock, trying to digest what he just said and the fact that I understood it perfectly well. {Fuck me, is this what the buddhists and the yogis always been mumbling about?} I thought. The guy in the video was Leo, and this is the reason why I wanted to post this story here. Many thanks for this heads up.

I also haven't (to that extent) but apparently, some people have. Yes, but again, where does the causation come from if not just your mind? Why would someone like Greta turn pro-fossil fuels? Why would someone like Trump suddenly turn into a Democrat? Why would Hitler start loving the Jews without any cause other than your mind? See what I'm trying to say? Yes. Very likely. This is Solipsism though... you're animating everything and *everyone* by shifting the focus of your consciousness to that/them. Lol. I'm sure it can, I just don't see why it would. If the goal is to forget and pretend it's a human in an alien world separate from others then it just needs 1 experience (POV) for that. Not infinitely many. And again, going by this, it actually would be counterproductive to dream and be aware of an infinite number of dreams. It beats the experience. This is why I/you, whatever, are only aware of your ego-self and not of an infinite number of them. This would imply that manifestation is inherently limited and bounded by others' receptivity. So basically you're saying you can't manifest unless other people are in accordance with your will. To my knowledge, from various reputable sources as well as self-experience, this isn't the case. As long as I persisted in my desired state, I've had a 100% success rate. Don't get me wrong Matthew, I want more than anything for others to be real. Like I'd probably go crazy if I found out this wasn't the case. I want you to be real... you are a real one btw (no pun intended), I always read your posts. You're out here asking the right questions. But yeah, I just can't see how that would be possible in the relative domain. Perhaps the relative domain is a lot more radical than we are able to think (fingers crossed).

@Someone here Then you should know that space has no limits. there is no outside, unless you think it into existence. the baloon is infinitly big. As to why it seems to be expanding, i think it has to do with the fact that the evolution and awakening of the Microcosm is deeply interlinked with the one of the Macrocosm (Universe). A growh in self-comprehension of the first results in the "physical" growh of the second. But again this is still a mechanic inside the dream. You should ask this question to some interstellar alien race.

Have you by chance ever used meth? I ask because I once had a massive psychotic break on it -- thought I was starring on an alien TV show and the producers were framing me for murder for good TV, and later I was convinced that I was the world's first AGI and the hospital and the psychosis were just a ruse to get me to come in for updates... But the reason I'm telling you this is because I didn't fully recover until after having gone 5-6 months with no meth. For months I couldn't shake the suspicion that a government agency was following me and doing experiments and surveillance etc... And I was hallucinating evidence for this too -- but I had a hunch they were hallucinations (considering the alien thing was later seen as obviously a hallucination, I figured the at-the-time-current surveillance/etc hallucinations probably were too), so I was able to stay somewhat tethered to reality. But it wasn't until I totally healed that I could see through it 100% as nonsense (and the hallucinations disappeared completely). So if you've ever used meth, fwiw it took me 6 months before I healed from its mind scrambling lingering psychosis, so you could maybe reassess whether you need medication at the 6 month mark since last use (again IF you've ever used it; I wouldn't be surprised if you never have). Or if you (or whoever sees this) haven't ever used it, hopefully this still helped somehow -- if nothing else, maybe it shows someone that delusional thoughts can go away completely.

@Someone here If you've "awakened to solipsism" why have you got a gay ass alien hippie pfp, SCREAMING, I'm a basic ass bitch, looking for a group to join

Introduction #13: Much love and respect to all souls here. Deeply devoted to the long term results of this journal and everything that can be shared here so I’ve restricted myself from formal posts like these from now on other than simple in between posts that will be deleted after every formal entry from now on to make it easier for readers. For authenticity though I don’t want to delete the past really unless it’s truly necessary, some posts I may but it really depends on where the energy evolves moving forward overall I just want to make the right decision. My grammar by the way will also improve I’ll make sure I double check entries, for transparency I don’t want to edit previous ones so that we can look at this from the frame of growth and progress. It’s discernible… haha, that’s what matters, though my philosophical gestures there if any have less potency there that’s all. The emotions that bind us all together are the most important and they’re all the emotions that we store in our heart which in return regulate the rest of our body. As I think of you, whoever you are, there is information from the emotional to the cognitive that my being creates which tells me who my being thinks you are relative to me emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and in every other way in that moment as that moment for that moment that this information appears. This information in return regulates my body from the heart in the same way that the same information that my being creates about my own existence including this idea of my, being and existence itself. It does this from the heart but in relationship to and with the brain and our aware consciousness (i.e. mind though I don’t really like the word kind to be honest, I feel like it’s been misused in culture a lot) is the regulatory mechanism of this link concerning connection vs disconnection. What I have become aware of is that through this simply exercise I do of simply paying attention to the heart as I noted in intro #9, inclusive then and to further elaboration as noted in other intros, the feedback loop of the information of consciousness, of heart and the self regulatory mechanism between these two that we can refer to as awareness say for example through brain, I have learned to continue to create a stronger and stronger connection through this means and therefore increasingly separate myself with negative relationships and connect myself with positive relationships. A negative relationship here is simply one that is unnatural and therefore not conducive to the potentialisation of being and a positive relationship is natural therefore conducive to the potentialisation of being. This then gets me to my next point where to me, life is about the positive expression of free energy now. Now although I said that I was not yet ready for philosophising of life until I have fully completed my training for this journal, such a sentiment of course is thus solely contained by its relationship to our being and more pertinent to this journal, our heart, and for me for all practical purposes concerning here, the alignment and connection/s between the heart, consciousness and mind. As I have expressed, over and over, just to help drill in the point where we’re here emphasising the heart over the mind including aware consciousness over mind and brain itself too while recognising the important connections where they matter most to the work here. Back to our starting point, four words, “positive”, “expression”, “free” and “energy”. This exercise the I am increasingly developing my understanding of from a practical level has been showing me that it makes my energy increasingly more positive through the free expression from negative energy, negative in the context of this journal is where energy days become too clogged and creates a state of dissociation which can even create a positive feedback loop towards becoming more dissociated as you’re encouraged less and less to tap into the heart. This last point links into what I mentioned before with respect to how I felt like my heart experienced electric shocks (I.e. when laughing) and as if I as being stung by ice picks, more than this, recall how I noted that to even stay with heart through any long duration I would have to survive “shaking” responses created by the body to ensure that I didn’t stay with the exercise. Back on track to my everyday experience it’s become obvious that I am more and more beginning to develop sense of cohesive self that my awareness was previously separated by which goes back to earlier journals including recent ones where I reflect a growing connection and unpredictable positive development here. I’ve been paying particular attention to my heart today trying to maintain as much connection as possible, worried that if I don’t pay attention I’ll become disconnected again and that will open up dissociation that puts me in a state where I’m unable to engage my being enough that my consciousness produces an intelligent (inclusive of emotional wavelength) link with existence, not to infer of course that my being becomes “anti-existence” more in the sense of “anti-self” in an unconstructive way. I sometimes notice myself taking for granted one state over another and it is tendencies like these along with further analogous connections that are going to help me continue to develop my awareness here. I feel mostly positive at the moment however I said something a little earlier that produced a bit of negative energy that I’m going to spend some time inside learning how to transmute better, it feels good to self honestly reflect and reveal my state something that I’m still getting used to in light of this slowly building self I’m building. I feel that I’m getting closer and closer to relationships with my brains mental life of the self and not just my bodies which was one of the goals of this work, the noted example above being of course developing a sincere relationship with my future self which I believe is going to add a positive relationship with my ability to self regulate states like those noted in the previous paragraph. Three new realisations I had today which I feel are a consequence of my growing self were, consciousness is simply a byproduct of universal consciousness it both is and isn’t a big deal. It’s a big deal because all of life is a big deal and it’s not a big deal because all of life is a big deal. The second is that I’m going try out this idea I came up with where I’m asking questions from my heart with my body just to generate a more energetic feedback loop with the heart. I feel that the more of my body I use to ask a question to my heart the more involved my being at the heart energetic level gets involved. I feel that this may be especially useful to those that have a history of dissociation so they’re disconnected from their bodies due to past trauma. The third realisation is that there is a communication channel between energy, consciousness awareness and heart which relates to my earlier introduction about regulating state but that I’ll slightly add a nuance to here in further communication of the earlier goal about learning how to change state. So I believe that the angle for transmutation or at least what I’m finding success with in this order is (1) become aware of the bodies energy (2) already decide that you’re going to make this a transmutational point (3) carry that energy high up into aware consciousness which is say around the perimeter of your being above your shoulders (4) from aware consciousness communicate to your brain to channel this energy to your heart so that your heart can get to work with respect to giving you information about this energy and transiting it simultaneously (5) you continue to perform this exercise waiting for and while learning from the information that is generated from your consciousness over and over, as it comes, sometimes patience is an important aspect, and you do so until you reach the higher balance that you were after. Another important point that’s still in development from the practical sense is the channeling of all energy from the body (especially where stated energy feels comparatively “negative”, including “mental energy” say as it pertains to how I began this introduction with respect to transmuting the associations and relationships we have built up pertaining to any all all living beings in existence to a “Free Energy State”) and from the described conscious aware state and intuitively adjusted as needed there. If the frees energy my intuition is that energy can be transferred from all areas of our being towards the heart to free up and reach that “ideal” of the described higher balance. See what I’ve realised for me is that the hearts a natural freer of energy is doesn’t want to keep it trapped it’s a continuous pump but if our aware consciousness doesn’t know how to use this pump our heart can become clogged which creates previously noted problems aka an over-survival response that inevitably leads to dissociation that can branch out into many other nasty places as well. Okay great well this concludes the end of the introduction I think we’re off to a great start here. Thank you everyone I hope you’re all doing okay, read my earlier journals and realise that I deeply know your pain whatever you’re going through. I have a lot of high expectations for myself and genuinely I have a lot of high expectations for myself and genuinely I am still developing the empathic awareness I want to in order to ensure the lessons I’ve learned from my past experiences which includes remembering where I came from so I can remember where people are coming from in their struggles are reflected by that. Even though I have an intuitive feel for things in this area I feel that it would be better enhanced if I continued to grow this complementary aspect of myself. Session: I feel right now like my skull wants to jump out of my skin and scream the universe from my eyes I am that frustrated with my present state of being. I am ANGRY at my parents, the world and myself included for allowing this to happen, for not noticing myself and the world around me enough through the eyes of psychological distinction enough that I would transmute this world out of my ass so all that remains is the purity of life in front of my eyes via the fluidity of my being. I feel a chaos turning because I cannot feel alive and I know deep inside this lack of consistent aliveness, this constant shifting back and fourth between alive and not alive due to this dissociation, is the reason for why I have often sought after a non-disclosable preoccupation with my imagination in the past (something that I've shared briefly in another journal here) to at the very least have enough dopamine to make it through life. I feel like I have been stabbed by a sorcerer from an alien civilisation where their weapon of choice that they have refined as a part of their master craft is the induction of an irreversible condition of dissociation to the point of a catatonic state that I only survived out of luck, and now only out of luck am I surviving this condition now. The clouds loom in my mind again, crashing and smashing up against each other and the only freedom I have from this state is in describing through the use of my imagination, otherwise I feel stolen, lost, forgotten as I "SHOULD BE", that suggestion somehow planted in my subconscious, circling about like thunderstorms in those dark clouds to imbue a sense of fear in the child that is hiding in the forest below for cover. I am lost, naked in the woods at 8-9 years of age and the only way through is a late afternoon where the night is turning quickly and predators of this never to be chartered before forest are to come awake and find their dinner. I feel like this state is obsolete, disposable, rejectable and shameable which is likely what produces the dissociation itself and it is something that I am unable to play like air in a flute with finger holes waiting to be plugged but the air will not escape my lungs with the right intensity and closeness. So I am trapped in the dungeon again in front of the whole world, where literally the whole universe could see me if this dungeon were visible with the naked eye. That's the way I feel when walking around in regular life and how I have felt growing up in my familial environment, this observation with its necessary rectification was available to all of us but when I played my flute, this flute as a kid, it didn't matter how well I played it with all the lack of training that I had, no body heard it and if they heard it they didn't see it enough, I didn't see enough nor did I see enough of life confined period where life confined is the definition of a hundred year span contained in the palm of my hand and how I would play out this life. But here I am, STUCK, without enough awareness at this point to align with the destinations of my choosing within my being. I will spend as much time this afternoon and tonight just training and training and training to secure this new level I'm on while trying to turn the pages of this part of my history in this book of life to get to the next level so that tomorrow I feel a little more connected, I feel the suns light through my eyes and on my skin with a little more fidelity and spirit of the everlasting youth of the universe. Exit to this Session: Turned over, lost and forgotten Mum throws me in the dumpster as apparently I'm rotten In another moment, Gods gift, mum can't you irresponsibly decide once more entangled cotton As I empty these words I didn't know I had, I realise that I just have to continue to let them out and out and out, live and let live and learn... To trust This process, is a must Playing the flute once more, if not anyone else, Self, please fucking listen Love/Hate (partial to understand). New sentiments - Rules of thumb: If my state is not in a complete “Free Energy State” I don’t really trust it and I don’t really trust western or eastern ideas of any sort that may run contrary to developing full authority over our capacity to produce this state. Endless diligence, endless prudence. Just let it out, whatever it is, write and write and write, let it out, don't do the whole "waiting for the perfect moment" don’t need to force a reaction in the body nor do I at all need to react from a forced reaction within the body, I am now at a stage where I am simply learning the fine art of the maneuvering of energy with the described exercise and then (1) the body moves itself in that direction with a natural Will for the former (2) the body regulates itself to become a natural Will for the latter (so you’re not controlled by unwanted reactions)