Proserpina

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  1. @Blackhawk I had that realization when I was 15. I was being excluded and bullied at school. Abused at home. Things didn't really improve after the realization, in fact they got worse (physical illness, abusive relationships, isolation) but a part of me was always in heaven after that. And the divine started channeling through me Not trying to make the thread about me but trying to point to something. MAYBE you don't need success, you don't need happiness.
  2. Maybe you don't need your pain to alleviate. Maybe that fascination is enough. Its a deeper bliss that goes beyond the emotions.
  3. @Blackhawk I know how you feel. Is there any part of you inside that can enjoy and bask in reality for its own sake? Can you try to find that part in you? When things are hell for me that's what I always come back to.
  4. This is just what I've been told in the past. But now I'm starting to doubt it as I gain emotional distance. I think I surround myself with and attract people with larger pain bodies than my own which are then activated by my painbody.
  5. Spotting Narcissism How do they react when you are at your lowest? Do they abuse you in the name of truth and honesty? How do they react when your painbody is mildly active? When you pick yourself apart do they chime in and help you pick yourself apart?
  6. How do they react when you are at your lowest? Do they abuse you in the name of truth and honesty? How do they react when your painbody is mildly active? When you pick yourself apart do they chime in and help you pick yourself apart?
  7. Why it happens I remember eckhart tolle saying that painbodies activate painbodies. In cycle 2 my painbody is active (as is the case for most women) and it activates even larger painbodies in others. Basically I surround myself with and attract not very nice people.
  8. The two cycles Cycle 1- Relaxed Creative Non mind orientated Quiet Feminine Non intellectual Agreeable Zen Cycle 2- Mind orientated Intellectual Neurotic Disagreeable Assertive Confident Masculine Talkative
  9. It's over now Relatively speaking. The cycle is over. I'm really really proud of how I dealt with it.
  10. Psychic attacks Of course I have to admit that some psychic attacks are partially my fault. I can criticize too severely and emotionally. I'm cyclically psychotic. I radiate 'bad energy'. I try to focus on when that part of me isn't active and expand on that until it eventually overshadows that part of me. Otherwise it just causes harm. Blaming it all on myself isn't true either.
  11. I know that when I channeled a few years ago my interest in dark skinned people heightened (I'm fair skinned). Then that gradually decreased as I returned to my baseline. I liked contrasting energies at the time, was super sensitive to it. Perhaps your preference could be a sign of something positive.
  12. I suffered from this big time. It was deeply ingrained with circumstances frequently reminding me that I'm not hating myself enough. I would self harm as a result. One day I self harmed so badly leaving permanent large scarring I no longer felt the need to hate myself anymore. Like I had hated on myself enough. Everyone, including my abusers, can go screw themselves. So umm... maybe just let yourself hate yourself fully until you no longer feel the need to? Don't self harm of course like I did but just totally explore it.
  13. @itachi uchiha I would focus on immersion rather than learning. Just feel the relief from their words. Also do what is easiest... I find videos on YouTube to be the easiest. The process I like doing the most is the magical creation box: putting pictures of what you want or what interests you into a folder on your computer/ phone.
  14. Law of attraction. Listening to Abraham Hicks all day and doing the processes will rewire the mind toward optimism. That will keep you energized, focused on the positive aspects and focused on what you want.
  15. Christianity is so beautiful. When I first started my spiritual path I rejected Christianity entirely. As I evolve on my spiritual path that becomes less and less the case. Also I wish I had known about psychic attacks and not blamed it all on myself.