Raphael

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About Raphael

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  • Birthday 03/27/1997

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    Mauritius
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  1. Tell me your biggest struggle right now and I will help.
    Tell me your biggest struggle right now and I will help.
    In what way is the existential crisis manifesting?
    Don't know about the youtube thing. If you get into youtube for quick money, you are gonna be seriously disappointed. Starting a youtube channel is no different from starting a business. In this case it will take twice the amount of time and effort you think it will take.
    As a long term thing, yea, it would work, but if you need money right now, I suggest you look elsewhere. You need to give lots of free value, on a consistent basis, for a long period of time, before you can see even a small income.
    Why would you want to be around people like that in the first place? Find new friends and peers. I too never felt fully integrated anywhere, but that should not stop us from continuing to search for like-minded people.
    Also, people will respect you more if you are able to stand by a different opinion (in the context in which you calibrate that opinion to the people you are talking to). People are attracted to polarizing figures and people who live on their edge. 
    If you want to get into deep conversations with basically ANYONE,  just start to ask them open ended questions about what is most dear to them. Ask them about their biggest struggles, proudest moments, favorite people in their life etc. You can even ask a bum these questions and you would be surprised by the answers. And by the law of reciprocity, they would be more open to listen to your opinion if you genuinely listened to what they have to say for more than 10 minutes. Most people don't do that.
    Their jokes are tests to see if you are strong. It's nothing personal. As David Buss says, this is called derogation of competitors. They just want to see if you thrown off-center by those remarks. If you are, you failed their tests and they will perceive you as weak. If you start to defend against what they say by explaining yourself or get serious and use angry comebacks, they win.
    If you pass the tests on the other hand, by not taking their remarks seriously and laughing them off, they will stop and start to see you as strong, and they won't test you anymore.
    Also, remember that effective communication works regardless of culture, social conventions etc. It comes down to social calibration. You should talk differently to different people. Know what offends some and what doesn't offend others. Our greatest trait as humans is that we are adaptable to almost any environment and situation. So use that trait.
    I understand. Be careful, because that will turn your communication style into a passive-aggressive one. You will accumulate resentment, you will eventually blow up, and then the cycle will start over and over again.
    Becoming more assertive will help you with that, because you will start to clearly and firmly establish boundaries, and frustration and other negative emotions won't be able to build up in you. People won't say or do anything to you, that you don't invite them to do. They will push your buttons until they hit the boundary. If you don't consciously set that boundary, they will walk over you like a doormat because you let them.
    If they say something about your mother and you laugh it off, they will see it as being ok. To set the boundary, you don't have to give an ugly comeback. You just need to say something like: "I know you meant that in a funny way, but I don't feel right when people talk about my mother like that. I would appreciate if you would stop. (or "please don't do that again. Thanks") ".  
    If you say it like that, they won't become defensive or aggressive. You just communicated how you feel when something talks about your mother like that. If they don't want to respect the boundary that you then set, cut those people out of your life or limit your exposure to them. But 99% of the time, the phrase above will work.
    Thank you! I appreciate the compliment.   I actually did not think that this thread would blow up. I thought I would have like two replies maximum. But I love responding, so I'm gonna continue for as long as it naturally goes. 

  2. Tell me your biggest struggle right now and I will help.
    Tell me your biggest struggle right now and I will help.
    I want to make money to become financially independant. I know theorically how to do it, I already sold something on the internet. 
    However I have something deep inside me that is blocking me, and make me unable to take actions and be consistant with my work.

    I suppose there's a lot a fear, but I'm wondering if there is not something else.

    I also grow up with social anxiety and extreme shyness problems with a toxic father. However, I did a lot a progress during the last three years until I get my first job. These progress then collapse because of my inability to deal with my coworkers behaviours
     

  3. Life-Changing Speeches & Presentations Mega-Thread
    Life-Changing Speeches & Presentations Mega-Thread
    Probably some of the best dating advice I've come across thus far. Super clear and direct insights into male and female psychology. Be sure to check out the rest of the channel as well!
     

  4. Life-Changing Speeches & Presentations Mega-Thread
    Life-Changing Speeches & Presentations Mega-Thread
    If you're a man, you need to watch this. What Vox Day has come up with here is truly incredible and will change the way you see yourself and all other men forever. Keep in mind that it's a heuristic - this is not "scientifically proven" or perfectly applicable to all men all of the time, so take what you need and what you find useful and build on top of that with your own research, experience, and findings.
     
     
     

  5. Sadhguru's Food Guide
    Sadhguru's Online Food Guide
    https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/BhimUpadhyaya/food-body-by-sadhguru
    I discovered this nutritional guide online by Sadhguru incase anyone was interested.
    It was first in a google search, so I assume it's not copyright material.

  6. Having so much free time makes me spend it unwisely
    Having so much free time makes me spend it unwisely
    With limited free time, our time is valuable. With endless free time, time is valueless.
    A game of football wouldn't be the same if there were no boundaries.
    My advice to you is to set some boundaries in your life. Book yourself in to do things with people, to attend events, play sport, whatever interest you. Social accountability is a big motivator here. I would also set some time-bound goals. It could be taking a online course or commiting to doing a blog post 3 times a week.
    Lastly, get some intentional suffering in your life. Too much comfort weakens the soul. Spend a day fasting. Try cold showers. Spend a night home with no internet. Doing these things not only makes you grateful for your life, it re-vitalises your energy and gets you motivated again.

  7. How to release Trauma?
    How to release Trauma?
    Title is self explained.

  8. INTP Summary
    Free PDF for Fellow INTPs
    Very nice!  Thank you.  I'll post this here too -- the results of my own research:
    INTP -- "The Thinker and Seeker" -- They want to rationally understand the world so they can synthesize and create from that.  Their strengths are they are very imaginative and laid-back people.  But on the other hand, they can be overtly-critical and cold sometimes.
    THE FOUR COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS OF INTPs:
    Dominant: (The strongest trait)
    Ti (Introverted Thinking): Has a particular way of thinking that is internally determined and likes to base their thinking on standards that they have set internally.
    Auxiliary: (The second strongest trait)
    Ne (Extroverted Intuition): Interfaces with different things in the outer world that cause intuitions to come up in them.  They end up with a lot of mental material that they just know or have a sense for. 
    Tertiary: (The second weakest trait)
    Si (Introverted Sensing): Has a good memory of facts and things that happened in the environment.  Likes to look at memories of past observable events.
    Inferior: (The weakest trait)
    Fe (Extroverted Feeling) -- Shows feelings and emotions to others.  Looks for ways to create social cohesion in the group.
    SOME TRAITS OF INTPs:
    INTPs display an insatiable appetite for ideation and theorizing. Many INTPs take an interest in writing, which provides an excellent forum for expressing themselves more fully and precisely. INTPs can struggle to find satisfying jobs within the system and are often happier functioning as freelancers or entrepreneurs. INTPs use Ti (Introverted Thinking) to bring structure and order to their inner world, granting them a strong sense of inner control. INTPs are constantly digging into the background of their own thoughts in order to better understand their origins and to ensure their thinking is founded on solid reasoning. The career of Technical Writing can work with INTPs. MORE TRAITS OF INTPs:
    The running theme for INTPs is their desire for solitude, need for intellectual stimulation, and the satisfaction of the final piece of a puzzle clicking into place. One of the reasons the INTP is a loner and lives a minimalist life is because they desire to reserve as much time as possible for thinking and reflecting. INTPs believe that the truth is the most important factor, and they expect that to be appreciated and reciprocated. People with the INTP personality take pride in their knowledge and rationale and enjoy sharing their ideas. It's as if people with the INTP personality are a conduit for the truths around them, so far as they can be expressed, and they are proud of this role as theoretical mediator. INTPs loathe rules and guidelines because of their value for autonomy and unconventional creativity. INTPs are shy and withdrawn individuals, and getting out and meeting new people, risking rejection and making themselves the center of attention in emotionally delicate situations are far from being their strengths. INTPs are so prone to reassessing their own thoughts and theories, worrying that they've missed some critical piece of the puzzle. INTPs need to remember that other people have their own independent wants and needs. INTPs can meet people halfway by communicating on an emotional level.   For all their analysis and attempts at mutual understanding, INTPs are notoriously bad at picking up on other people's emotional needs. The one thing that really holds INTPs back is their restless and pervasive fear of failure.  INTPs are so prone to reassessing their own thoughts and theories, worrying that they've missed some critical piece of the puzzle -- that they can stagnate, lost in an intangible world where their thoughts are never really applied.  Overcoming this self-doubt stands as the greatest challenge INTPs are likely to face. The preference for intuitive perception means that INTPs dislike having their lives planned.  They feel a distinct unease before most fixed appointments and cannot fully relax until the scheduled event is over, or at least in progress.   INTPs detest facades and particularly dislike people who exhibit them.  Equally, those kinds of people also dislike INTPs and avoid them at all costs, for they know that the INTP will see right through them.   Because of Ti, many INTPs believe that knowledge is everything and a large gap may exist between knowing and doing for them.  To know is everything, to do is a lower order necessity.  This breeds the potential for laziness and aloofness.   If an INTP is pushed into doing something, they will automatically resist.  The reason for this resistance is that any action must first be filtered by Ti, guided by Ne.  The INTP must be given a chance to reach an independent decision, approving or rejecting the action.  The best way to get an INTP to do something is to suggest the idea as an option and let them sleep on it.  Ultimately the INTP must always believe that it is their decision.  Once they are satisfied that the decision was independently reached, they are content.   INTPs put great weight on beling individuals and essentially different from other people, who they view as being too alike and too interdependent.   INTPs often become bored with anything they have successfully analyzed to the point of understanding it.  Once understood, it has nothing left to offer, once the satisfaction which comes with achieving the goal of understanding diminishes. Because Fe is INTP's inferior function, they can swing dramatically from friendliness (Fe) and aloofness (Ti). Ne is the trait that INTPs like to share with others.     INTPs can be emotionally expressive, but are often emotionally immature and disconnected from their feelings. INTPs rarely get angry, but when they do, it can be a powder keg of an explosion.   INTPs can quickly locate the logical inconsistencies in a belief system or argument.  They're always noticing when information doesn't add up.  They can easily poke holes in others' arguments or beliefs.  When an INTP expresses what they see, others may think they're criticizing them, but to the INTP it's not personal because they're simply trying to get at the truth.  The INTP wants accurate information, so they figure others do too.   INTPs are highly individualized and independent, and would rather go their own way than go with the crowd.  They relish breaking apart conventional ideas that others take for granted.  They don't understand how anyone can hold onto theories or ideology that have been proven illogical.   INTPs don't care for small talk or discussing the everyday matters of people's lives.  Gossip doesn't interest them.  INTPs struggle to connect with others because they have no desire to play social games. For INTPs, the Ti tends to assume the role of the controller and organizer of their life, while Ne behaves like a free-spirit, almost childlike in its enthusiasm.  The INTP tends to experience these two forces as an almost continuous tug-of-war, with neither side quite gaining the upper-hand.  If they have been free-spiriting for any length of time, they soon feel duty bound to analyze their behavior and systematize it.  Whereas if they have been in an analytical mode for a while, they will soon decide that they can do what they want freely after all.  It's a yo-yo type of situation. INTPs can make very good assistants to leaders, provided they and the leader are of one mind, for their perspective analysis can give the leadership useful insights which they may overlook, being too busy with leading.   If an INTP speaks, they must be listened to, for they believe their spoken opinions to be important.  If not, they withdraw (at least in spirit) and assume that the people who do not listen lack intelligence.  Hence, INTPs make very poor leaders, for they depend too much on the attitudes of others.

  9. INTP Informations
    Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator
    Haha, nice!

    Check this one as well. It's so descriptive and accurate to the point of being scary!
     
    http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html
     
    And this explains your entire life.

    http://www.intpexperience.com/

  10. Any resources about how to act when dealing with people with lower consciousness?
    Any resources about how to act when dealing with people with lower consciousness?
    Yes, it can be frustrating and confusing when something like this happens. Especially when they’re someone close to you and you care about them. You want them to be better, like you.I’ve been there too and I still have some trouble with it.
    Don’t :
    Force ideas on them. The more you force it, the more they’ll associate your efforts and ideas as irritating or annoying. It’s like a small scale version of a dictator forcing his commands on his people, and the leaders who become hated will be eventually resisted or disobeyed by his followers at some point.
    But if you simply suggest it at a time when they need it or ask for it, people will be more likely to open up to you, especially when you’re in a relationship where they’re more likely to open up to you about a problem out of their own will. Natural unforced influence is what lasts in the long term.
    If they still don’t want it after suggesting it a lot, you really can’t do much other than be a role model on your ideal to them to show what kind of benefits living the way you want has on you.
    Use degrading or insulting langauage. Don’t give off the impression that you see them as below you, verbally or non verbally. The more emotional stresses around something, the more people will hate it. There are certain people who are able to use harshness to allow people to “wake up” with alarm bells, but for this, you’d have to create a situation where they respect your input first for them to even comsider listening in the first place.
    Be unaware of your intentions to do this. Why are you doing this? With what negative or positve emotions? Is it out of your own ego or the need for growth? 
    Do :
    Listen. Listen first before speaking when giving your ideas. People will not bother to listen to you when you don’t listen to them. It’s social reciprocation. You may even learn something from them — as they might know something in an area you don’t know, or even if they aren’t 100% right, there’s still a half-truth to their ideas. Make effort to repeat back their ideas to show you understand them. Then only after will you suggest your ideas, and then get their feedback on their misconceptions and arguments against your ideas as you go.
    Explain at their level. You do not teach a kid math by teaching them Calcalus at kindergarten.  We teach them how to count first. So why teach a person personal development that does not apply to their lives or is too difficult for their level? This counts as emotional maturity level as much as intellectual understanding level. Pace things slowly step by step, rather than rushing. 
    Explain simply. People dislike effort in understanding things. The easier to understand, the more they’ll listen. Use examples, analogies, mind maps, anecdotes, data or other teaching tools to make it easier.
    Use questions. Commands or nagging seems like a force or weight on people. Questions allow people to explore ideas themselves with a certain openness or lightness. It also allows people to explore your ideas themselves rather than just blindly believing you.
    Books : Anything to do with influence, catching attention, dealing with conflict, communication, mentoring, teaching or argument.
    ...
    If you have any questions to ask or feedback to give, please do.