LastThursday

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  1. It begs the question whether a narcissist is aware of their own narcissism. Maybe not?
  2. Some tests are a lot more nuanced, where it's not obvious what's being expected from each question. Then some fancy cross-correlation is done to get the score. Those are better. Most internet tests are too transparent and simplistic. It's fun though.
  3. 1/40. Is a narcissist likely to recognise the narcissistic answers and avoid them to make themselves look good?
  4. I couldn't agree more. A lot of the humanity's problems stem from treating other people as objects rather than divine beings like you yourself. Sometimes we don't even realise we're doing it, we have to be vigilant at all times.
  5. My Dad has health problems, he's in his mid 70s. I prefer the word problem to issue, call a spade a spade. He has heart disease and late onset diabetes. Whenever I would visit him and go for a walk, he would have to stop every few hundred yards with pain. I felt for him, despite his imperfections, despite the way he frustrates me, the way he treated me when I was younger (avoidant behaviour), I still love the guy. I'm so similar to him in a lot of ways, to hate him would be like hating my hand. What does a son do in that position? He can only express his limited wisdom, and tell him to get it fixed, and help as much as he's prepared to help. He's a stubborn old goat. He has the arrogance of self-assuredness and he knows best. I'm the same, I listen, but I don't, I've always gone my own way, even to my own detriment. And he's goddamn avoidant. Whenever pressured he goes into his shell, and effectively ignores everyone. As I lay in bed some nights, I would think: will that be me in twenty years? Fuck that shit. My dad never smoked and hardly drinks. In fact I'm the bad influence, he tends to drink more around me and is inclined to eat crappy food. I smoked for years and years. To be honest I'm more likely to end up with health problems than my Dad is. Yikes. But also as I lay in bed some nights, I would wish for my Dad's health problems to go away. If some sort of remote healing works then let it happen. I imagined him healthy and being able to do all the things he wants to do. I did this on and off for months. He had a heart attack last year. That heart attack, forced him to confront his own stubborn beliefs. His family, me included, listened to him, chided him, cajoled him. He at first refused all surgery. After much deliberation he agreed to have two stents inserted (rather than the bypass surgery that he actually needed). After a period of recuperation he was able to walk without pain. He also found out that he had stopped being diabetic (due mostly to much improved diet). And so my wishes came true. Is this remote healing? Who cares. If my wishes had somehow warped reality, then it was done in a way that was consistent with it. If wishing and praying do anything, then it works like this. Reality adjusts itself in a consistent way to your expectations, it can take time, and the adjustment can be in very unexpected ways: my Dad had to have a heart attack to shift his beliefs enough to fix himself. So, I can only keep experimenting. I hate to see people I love suffering. It's a small price to pay to set aside some time each day and wish for them to have better lives, even if I'm deluding myself.
  6. Grab a belief by the scruff of the neck, shake it, deconstruct it.
  7. @Eyowey you're on the right track, just extend your scope a bit. Existence itself is pleasure if you're open to it, and effortless; its beauty is right there and everywhere. I don't mean physical pleasure, but existential pleasure.
  8. No 3 Trieste is beautiful
  9. If we listened to the naysayers then nothing would ever get done. @Someone here do your thing mate, there's a market for nearly everything nowadays, you'll work out your niche in due course. Master your craft.
  10. I was taught it as "collapsing" anchors, but yeah. I was just explaining one narrow aspect, that I'm more familiar with. The body can be divided up into many different "systems": circulatory, lymphatic, nervous, microbiome, muscular, skeletal. But it's all one thing really. If anything is being stored, then it is imprinted into all these different systems. One interesting system is the electromagnetic field of the body, this being the result of the electrical potential of cells in the body. I would say that this field is throughout the body and very dynamic. I don't think it's passive, but can actually feedback into cells and affect their behaviour. That might be a prime candidate for storage of trauma. I'm sure there are many practices (e.g. Reiki, acupuncture) that are actually affecting this field for theraputic purposes. And, the whole idea ofbody meridians in Chinese medicine has to do with this.
  11. Hey @soos_mite_ah it's great to see you're doing well. I also work with real estate software, and have the same feeling of it being unaligned with my values. But I tell myself that in the end I'm helping people find a home (maybe even their dream home), and that's no bad thing.
  12. Emotions are called feelings for a reason, because they are felt in the body. I would argue that all emotions are manifested in some way in the body. The particular combinations of feeling you have in the body are labelled as "happiness", "jealousy", "panic attack", "calm" and so on. In that sense emotions (labels) are not stored. But the sensations in the body are stored in the same way as knowing how to move your arm are stored (whatever that is). Emotions are closer to reflexes than to conscious movement in the body. A reflex is there to either protect you or to give you a message. It wouldn't make sense to say that "my reflexes need processing" and it's the same with emotions. What processing actually means is changing your body's response (emotional reflexes) to thoughts and situations that trigger certain emotions. The body learns it's emotions through association: e.g. you get a tightness in your chest when talking to people, and call it anxiety; the pain is triggered by (associated to) people, but the association is learnt not innate. There was a first time that association was made. That means triggers can be unlearnt and the association stopped. One way that the association is stopped (processed) is by using narrative techniques. You explore the narrative of the event that formed the association in the first place: e.g. you spoke to a person when you were a kid and they were aggressive towards you. And you re-contextualise the triggered emotion by doing this exploration. In this way you weaken the link between the stimulus (people) and the response (anxiety). With work you break the link totally. There are other ways. For instance NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) breaks the links between stimulus and response (emotion), by disrupting the normal process of the trigger mechanism. It gets you to trigger the normal emotional response in the body (to something negative), but at the same time triggers a different (positive) response - the simultaneous responses interfere with each other, the upshot being that the body relearns it's reflex. There are some very powerful NLP techniques if done right. This is a non-narrative approach.
  13. Something we should all aspire too. Even clueless people will be impressed by the confidence (and delivery).