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About Raphael

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  • Birthday 03/27/1997

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    Sub-Saharan Africa
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  1. 21 October 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:30 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:18 PM (objective 09:30 PM - 10:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 1 hour of journaling or doing nothing before going to bed I currently feel seriously retarded. I feel like wasted so much time, I feel like I wasted my entire life.
  2. Making the Good Choice Between Two Good Choices I recently got two really good part-time offers from two different people. The offers have identical conditions: I will work in a company 3 days per week and will be earning more money than I was earning when I was working 35+ hours per week in a company two years ago. Here are the specificities of the offers: Offer 1: This offer is from someone who found me on the internet, he notably saw my profile on Upwork which gave him some reassurance. What he liked about my profile aside from the fact that I have the technical skills that he needs is that I am a bi-national person who speaks perfect French. Because of that I can do some presentations and have clear communication with the rest of the team in France. The project is related to Green energy and is the propriety of a big French energy company. I asked him if I would have the opportunity to learn more about Green energy aside from just doing some technical work on the app because that's what attracted me to this offer. He responded yes and told me that he learned stuff on wind turbines and solar power while doing his job. Aside from that, I didn't find anything particular about the application, it was a typical ugly management software like I worked on in the past. Offer 2: This one is from a childhood friend, I know him since I was at least 6 years old... and he is a very successful and highly inspiring person. He went to some of the best universities on the planet. He studied in Paris and also had an opportunity to study in the US where he spent some time at Standford. He also had the opportunity to go to Silicon Valley, meet inspiring people there and I suppose meet with some tech giants too. He was supposed to continue in the US, but Covid changed his plans... Anyway, now he is here and he has his own small tech startup with two part-time employees, and he has contracts with powerful organizations in the country including the government and the national airline. His vision is to create a big tech company that will produce SAAS apps of the same caliber that are produced in Silicon Valley contrary to other local companies that are offshore companies. A company like this can generate significant amount of money that can be invested to boost the development of the country and this is one of his objectives. What's funny about his vision is that I had a very similar vision ~5 years ago, but my vision has changed a lot since that. He will be the one that will implement this vision where my vision is broader and will integrate his vision. I'm currently putting him at advanced stage Orange/Green, he might even have a few Yellow traits but I highly doubt that he knows about the crazy stuff that we talk about on this forum. From what I saw so far, he probably still lives in the materialistic paradigm and believes in science and rationality but as long as it's healthy I consider that it's fine. I thought about introducing him to actualized.org but I won't because it would cause him an existential crisis that would make his success collapse and he is (like me) in a phase of life where we both need success. What's great with this friend is that we highly resonate together, we have similar thought processes, and similar ideas in domains where we relate. After I got the two offers, I had to make a choice and this choice has been pretty quick. Considering the fact that I can get quick and easy access to the knowledge and methodology that is used by some of the most innovative companies on the planet and on top of that I can: Spend time with an inspiring person that I know since I was a kid and that I genuinely appreciate. Meet new people that I can resonate with. Build a social circle. Have the opportunity to meet more inspiring people. Get a good pay while at the same time having time to work on my project. Get help in my work and help in my life. Become much more professional in business and learn how to generate a significant amount of money to get completely financially independent and fuel my life purpose. ... I'm taking the opportunity to get back in touch with this friend and build a deeper relationship with him. If there is one relationship and one person who can help me be on track in life and achieve my dreams, it's this one. Now... all of this is great but I still need to continue the healing and deconditioning/reconditioning work that I'm doing so that I don't have a backslash and don't get dragged back into hell as it happened previously. Doing this healing work is one of the most critical things to continue doing. A lot of things are currently changing in my life and this is incredible.
  3. I can't completely imagine how you feel at this moment, but you have my support. I resonate with your feelings of feeling inadequate and of feeling fake. My dad also told me enormously that I was weak, dumb, and won't go anywhere in life. The pain comes and goes, come and goes, until it finally goes. Even though this moment might be difficult for you, I know you'll go through it and get better. You have my support.
  4. 20 October 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:33 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:10 PM (objective 09:30 PM - 10:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ❌ 1 hour of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 7 PM ✅ 1 hour of journaling or doing nothing before going to bed
  5. Interesting thread... I wrote a post yesterday where I shared about some things that I saw around me, but I think that you already read it.
  6. Yes, I use Notion. I have a list of things to do, a calendar, a vision, book notes and more inside it. I'm just curious how other people are doing things.
  7. 19 October 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:38 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:45 PM (objective 09:30 PM - 10:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 1 hour of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 7 PM ❌ 1 hour of journaling or doing nothing before going to bed Some changes: Wake up time between 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM Healing through journaling and shadow work only on Sunday
  8. My shit is going to get together. It's going to happen as usual in a record time and at the last minute. At least 80% is going to be sorted out in just 1 year time. LOOOOOOOOOL.
  9. I'm currently improving my organization system. I would like to get more insights here so I have a few questions: How do you find time between a full-time job and personal development? How do you organize your weeks between work and thinking/strategizing/doing personal development? What tools do you use? How do you track yourself? How do you plan, strategize, and prioritize? Do you have any good resources for setting up a system for personal development? If you have more insights, I'll appreciate them.
  10. Shit is happening. Shit is happening. I can see the big picture, I have an overview of everything. The pieces of the puzzle are starting to assemble. Everything is getting together, I can see it happening. 2022 is going to be my year.
  11. Fucked Skin Color Ideals and Beauty Standards My white mom told my brown aunt that she would like to be brown like her. My brown aunt told my white mom that she would like to be white like her. When my dad married my mom, some people were jealous of him because he married a white woman. When I was spending time in France in the past, many people told me that they didn't like their white skin but wanted to be black. When I was spending time in France in the past, some people admired the beauty of my brown skin sister. Someone even told her that she should be a model and compete for Miss France. However, she randomly got called a bitch one day while walking in the street. Some white girls admired the beauty of my brown sister. The parents of one of my sister's friends told her to use skin whitening products to have a lighter skin. This is quite ironic considering the fact that my sister has always been admired for her colored beauty. When I was in France, some people labeled me as Black, Indian, or Middle Eastern and made fun of me. I often got questioned on my origins, many people there asked me "What are your origins?". I also got some subtle racism from some white people. When I started to work in my native country, the first thing that some people did before even knowing me was to label me white. I can get questioned in my native country on my origins and made fun of too in the past. I got labeled as a white rich person where I was just average in the past. I got some racism from people of color too. Growing up, I got highly criticized, insulted, and morally bullied by guys (and some girls too) for being skinny, but now many girls find me physically attractive. I also had guys been jealous of me in the past because of my body and guys implying that I should get a lot of girls because of my physical appearance. I personally live in between worlds and I think that it has been one of the key reasons why I never formed a strong identity. I always knew that something wasn't right there. People always projected a lot on me and I couldn't explain to them how wrong they were because of how much attached most of them are to a culture. I became highly observant and skeptical very early and tried to be as careful as I could be in order to keep an overview of how things interrelate together. This has been one of the main reasons of my personal growth. Moral of the story: The best attitude is to not take these things too personally. When we will all be 80 years old grandpas and grandmas, we won't care anyway and we will laugh at how insecure we were when we were younger. It's still important to spread awareness on these issues and talk about them so that: 1) we create better functioning societies. 2) we improve the interconnection of cultures and improve our global unity. 3) we improve our mental health. 4) we spread love and become more loving to each other no matter our differences
  12. 18 October 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:07 AM (objective 6:00 AM - 6:30 AM) In Bed Time: 10:05 PM (objective 10:00 PM - 10:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 1 hour of meditation ❌ No distractions until 7 PM ✅ 1 hour of journaling or doing nothing before going to bed
  13. 2022 is going to be busy, very busy. I thought about going to a therapist to help me sort some issues, but I don't know if I'll get enough time. Also, my previous experiences with therapists weren't that great. I have a bias that tells me that it's impossible to find a high-quality therapist where I live, but I know that this is inaccurate. Maybe I'll try online therapy... but I'm not sure cause it's always better to be with someone in the same room to get emotional support.
  14. By accepting our own fragility?