Raphael

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About Raphael

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  • Birthday 03/27/1997

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    Mauritius
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  1. Why I Have Insomnias I think I'm starting to understand why I have so much trouble sleeping at night. The reason is that I have a lot of traumas and repressed emotions accumulated in myself that create non-stop negative thoughts. I saw my dad being verbally abusive to my mother before going to bed and I'm now unable to sleep because of that. Negative thoughts are currently everywhere in my head. I think the root cause of my negativity and pessimism is caused by my dad's attitude that I experienced during almost all my life. It fucked me up when I was a kid, it didn't allow me to develop correctly, because of that I had and still have a lot of self-esteem issues. Now my job is to fix all that I accumulated within myself.
  2. Symptoms Of Lack Of Persistence (from Think And Grow Rich!) Failure to recognize and to clearly define exactly what one wants. I'm currently in the middle zone, I know some things and I don't know some things. Procrastination, with or without cause. (Usually backed up with a formidable array of alibis and excuses). Yes. Lack of interest in acquiring specialized knowledge. No. Indecision, the habit of "passing the buck" on all occasions, instead of facing issues squarely. (Also backed by alibis). Yes. The habit of relying upon alibis instead of creating definite plans for the solution of problems. Yes. Self-Satisfaction. Yes. Indifference usually reflected in one's readiness to compromise on all occasions, rather than meet opposition and fight it. Yes. The habit of blaming others for one's mistakes, and accepting unfavorable circumstances as being unavoidable. No. WEAKNESS OF DESIRE, due to neglect in the choice of MOTIVES that impel action. No. Willingness, even eagerness, to quit at the first sign of defeat. (Based upon one or more of the 6 basic fears). No. Lack of ORGANIZED PLANS, placed in writing where they may be analyzed. Yes. The habit of neglecting to move on ideas, or to grasp opportunity when it presents itself. No. WISHING instead of WILLING. Yes. The habit of compromising with POVERTY instead of aiming at riches. General absence of ambition to be, to do, and to own. Yes. Searching for all the short-cuts to riches, trying to GET without GIVING a fair equivalent. Yes in the past. No now. FEAR OF CRITICISM, failure to create plans and to put them into action, because of what other people will think, do, or say. Yes, I'm afraid of criticism, but it doesn't prevent me from doing things.
  3. The Thiry Major Causes Of Failure (from Think And Grow Rich!) UNFAVORABLE HEREDITARY BACKGROUND No LACK OF A WELL-DEFINED PURPOSE IN LIFE I have a vision for the next five years, but not for the long term. Some elements are still blurry LACK OF AMBITION TO AIM ABOVE MEDIOCRITY. No hope for the person who is so indifferent as not to want to get ahead in life and who is not willing to pay the price. No, but I'm too lazy INSUFFICIENT EDUCATION. The best-educated people are often those who are known as "self-made", or self-educated. Education consist of knowledge effectively and persistently APPLIED. Men are paid for WHAT THEY DO WITH THAT WHICH THEY KNOW No, and I'm mostly a self-taught person. LACK OF SELF-DISCIPLINE. Discipline comes through self-control. This means that one must control all negative qualities. Before you can control conditions, you must first control yourself. Yes ILL HEALTH. The main reasons are: Overeating of foods not conducive to health. No Wrong habits of thought; giving expression to negatives. Yes Wrong use of, and overindulgence in sex. Yes, I watch too much porn Lack of proper physical exercise. No An inadequate supply of fresh air, due to improper breathing. Maybe UNFAVORABLE ENVIRONMENTAL INFLUENCES DURING CHILDHOOD Yes, most of my family is toxic PROCRASTINATION. Most of us go through life as failures, because we are waiting for the "time to be right" to start doing something worthwhile. Do not wait. The time will never be "just right". Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. Yes LACK OF PERSISTENCE Yes NEGATIVE PERSONALITY. There is no hope of success for the person who repels people through a negative personality. Success comes through the application of POWER, and power is attained through the cooperative efforts of other people. A negative personality will not induce cooperation. In progress. I have been transitioning in the last five years from a negative personality to a positive one. But I still have work to do here LACK OF CONTROLLED SEXUAL URGE. Sex energy is the most powerful of all the stimuli which move people into ACTION. Because it is the most powerful of the emotions, it must be controlled, through transmutation and converted into other channels. Yes, and I need to learn to transmute sex energy UNCONTROLLED DESIRE FOR "SOMETHING FOR NOTHING Yes LACK OF A WELL DEFINED POWER OF DECISION. Men who succeed reach decisions promptly, and change them, if at all, very slowly. Men who fail, reach decisions, if at all, very slowly, and change them frequently, and quickly. Yes ONE OR MORE OF THE SIX BASIC FEARS Yes: fear of poverty, criticism, old age, and death WRONG SELECTION OF A MATE MARRIAGE No OVER-CAUTION. The person who takes no chances generally has to take whatever is left when others are through choosing. Over-caution is as bad as under-caution. Both are extremes to be guarded against. No, but I need more balance here WRONG SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES IN BUSINESS No SUPERSTITION AND PREJUDICE. Superstition is a form of fear. It is also a sign of ignorance. Men who succeed keep open minds and are afraid of nothing. No WRONG SELECTION OF A VOCATION. No man can succeed in a line of endeavor which he does not like. No LACK OF CONCENTRATION OF EFFORT. The "jack-of-all-trades" seldom is good at any. Concentrate all of your efforts on one DEFINITE CHIEF AIM Yes, my thoughts go in a thousand directions THE HABIT OF INDISCRIMINATE SPENDING. The spend-thrift cannot succeed, mainly because he stands eternally in FEAR OF POVERTY. Form the habit of systematic saving by putting aside a definite percentage of your income. Money in the bank gives one a very safe foundation of COURAGE when bargaining for the sale of personal services No LACK OF ENTHUSIASM. Without enthusiasm, one cannot be convincing. Moreover, enthusiasm is contagious, and the person who has it under control is generally welcome in any group of people Yes INTOLERANCE. The person with a "closed" mind on any subject seldom gets ahead. Intolerance means that one has stopped acquiring knowledge. The most damaging forms of intolerance are those connected with religious, racial, and political differences of opinion No, but I have trouble tolerating incompetence INTEMPERANCE. The most damaging forms of intemperance are connected with eating, strong drink, and sexual activities Yes with the internet INABILITY TO COOPERATE WITH OTHERS Yes, because I feel like most people are incompetents POSSESSION OF POWER THAT WAS NOT ACQUIRED THROUGH SELF EFFORT. QUICK RICHES are more dangerous than poverty No INTENTIONAL DISHONESTY. One may be temporarily dishonest by force of circumstances over which one has no control, without permanent damage. But, there is NO HOPE for the person who is dishonest by choice. Sooner or later, his deeds will catch up with him, and he will pay by loss of reputation, and perhaps even loss of liberty No EGOTISM AND VANITY Yes, but I'm making progress GUESSING INSTEAD OF THINKING I guess that I guess too much LACK OF CAPITAL Yes
  4. The 10 Major Causes Of Failure In Leadership (from Think And Grow Rich!) INABILITY TO ORGANIZE DETAILS. Efficient leadership calls for the ability to organize and to master details. No genuine leader is ever "too busy" to do anything which may be required of him in his capacity as a leader. When a man admits that he is "too busy" to change his plans or to give attention to any emergency, he admits his inefficiency. The successful leader must be the master of all details connected with his position. He must acquire the habit of relegating details to capable lieutenants I'm good here because I'm very analytical by nature, but at the same time, I'm also too messy and distracted. UNWILLINGNESS TO RENDER HUMBLE SERVICE. Truly great leaders are willing, when occasion demands, to perform any sort of labor which they would ask another to perform. "The greatest among ye shall be the servant of all" is a truth that all able leaders observe and respect. I'm bad here. I'm too selfish and care too much about myself, most of the time I consider that doing humble service for others is not my business. There's also a balance for that because if I care too much about others it will slow down my progress. EXPECTATION OF PAY FOR WHAT THEY "KNOW" INSTEAD OF WHAT THEY DO WITH THAT WHICH THEY KNOW I'm good here. FEAR OF COMPETITION FROM FOLLOWERS. The leader who fears that one of his followers may take his position is practically sure to realize that fear sooner or later. The able leader trains understudies to whom he may delegate, at will, any of the details of his position. Only in this way may a leader multiply himself and prepare himself to be at many places, and give attention to many things at one time. It is an eternal truth that men receive more pay for their ABILITY TO GET OTHERS TO PERFORM than they could possibly earn by their own efforts. An efficient leader may, through his knowledge of his job and the magnetism of his personality, greatly increase the efficiency of others, and induce them to render more service and better service than they could render without his aid. I'm good here, I don't fear competition from others. LACK OF IMAGINATION I'm good here, I'm very imaginative and original. SELFISHNESS. The leader who claims all the honor for the work of his followers is sure to be met by resentment. The really great leader CLAIMS NONE OF THE HONORS. He is contented to see the honors, when there are any, go to his followers, because he knows that most men will work harder for commendation and recognition than they will for money alone. I don't care about getting honors, but I'm also too selfish and don't recognize other's qualities. INTEMPERANCE. Followers do not respect an intemperate leader. Moreover, intemperance in any of its various forms destroys the endurance and the vitality of all who indulge in it. I'm good here, but I have to be careful to not put too much pressure on myself because it can stress me out. DISLOYALTY. The leader who is not loyal to his trust, and to his associates, those above and below him, cannot long maintain his leadership. Disloyalty marks one as being less than the dust of the earth and brings down on one's head the contempt he deserves. Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life. I'm loyal to other people, but I may be lack loyalty with myself. EMPHASIS OF THE "AUTHORITY" OF LEADERSHIP. The efficient leader leads by encouraging, and not by trying to instill fear in the hearts of his followers. The leader who tries to impress his followers with his "authority" comes within the category of leadership through FORCE. If a leader is a REAL LEADER, he will have no need to advertise that fact except by his conduct — his sympathy, understanding, fairness, and a demonstration that he knows his job. I'm good here. I don't feel that I need to emphasize as being a superior authority, but authority is still necessary because otherwise people start to let them go and it hurts the team. Again, finding the proper balance is critical here because if there's no authority people take advantage and if there's too much authority people get annoyed and quit the team. EMPHASIS OF TITLE. The competent leader requires no "title" to give him the respect of his followers. The man who makes too much over his title generally has little else to emphasize. The doors to the office of the real leader are open to all who wish to enter, and his working quarters are free from formality or ostentation. I'm good here, I never emphasis on my title.
  5. The Major Attributes Of Leadership (from Think And Grow Rich!) UNWAVERING COURAGE based upon knowledge of self, and of one's occupation. I can be courageous, but I think I also have a lot of fears. I need to put more my feet in the fire of reality and take radical actions. I also lack self-knowledge and self-esteem. SELF-CONTROL. The man who cannot control himself can never control others. Self-control sets a mighty example for one's followers, which the more intelligent will emulate. I procrastinate a lot and I have difficulties controlling negative thoughts. I also usually have much more difficulties to control myself when I'm around low stage orange people or below. If I will have to cooperate with people in the future, I will look for at least high stage orange people. A KEEN SENSE OF JUSTICE. Without a sense of fairness and justice, no leader can command and retain the respect of his followers. I'm pretty good here, I always try to be the most honest, fair and neutral possible. I detach myself from my relatives when making decisions so that I don't prioritize their point of view over unknown people. I try as much as possible to not put myself above others because anyone can have good ideas. DEFINITENESS OF DECISION. The man who wavers in his decisions shows that he is not sure of himself. He cannot lead others successfully. To be improved, but this is better than 1-2 years ago. I currently know better the direction in which I'm going for the next five years, but I still have uncertainties about the implementation and the actions to take. DEFINITENESS OF PLANS. The successful leader must plan his work, and work his plan. A leader who moves by guesswork, without practical, definite plans, is comparable to a ship without a rudder. Sooner or later he will land on the rocks. To be improved. I'm messy and I have trouble being consistent and organized and I also procrastinate a lot. THE HABIT OF DOING MORE THAN PAID FOR. One of the penalties of leadership is the necessity of willingness, upon the part of the leader, to do more than he requires of his followers. I'm already doing this. A PLEASING PERSONALITY. No slovenly, careless person can become a successful leader. Leadership calls for respect. Followers will not respect a leader who does not grade high on all of the factors of a Pleasing Personality. I progressed in the last years. I used to be very negative and toxic before. However, I still have work to do here. I need to be more enthusiastic and fun. SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING. The successful leader must be in sympathy with his followers. Moreover, he must understand them and their problems. I progressed last year, but I still need to do a lot of work here. Usually, I don't care at all about other issues (probably because of a stage red/orange ego) but if I work in a team and some people have an issue it will impact the team, so I need to understand people in order to help them and get results. For that, I need to develop green/yellow compassion and understanding. MASTERY OF DETAIL. Successful leadership calls for mastery of details of the leader's position. I need to improve my social and leadership skills. I'm pretty good concerning the technical details WILLINGNESS TO ASSUME FULL RESPONSIBILITY. The successful leader must be willing to assume responsibility for the mistakes and the shortcomings of his followers. If he tries to shift this responsibility, he will not remain the leader. If one of his followers makes a mistake and shows himself incompetent, the leader must consider that it is he who failed. To be improved. I think I don't take enough responsibility and because of this, I don't get results. COOPERATION. The successful leader must understand, and apply the principle of cooperative effort and be able to induce his followers to do the same. Leadership calls for POWER, and power calls for COOPERATION. To be improved. I have difficulties trusting people because of many bad social experiences I had in the past, I also assume that most of them are incompetents who only want money and nothing else. Because of all that I used to be a lone wolf almost my entire life and developed social anxiety that I still have.
  6. Self-Analysis I'm going to post a few self-analysis posts included in "Think And Grow Rich!" in order to evaluate myself and see what I need to improve.
  7. Here's a youtube channel that has a lot of videos on race, ancestry, ideology, culture, religion, politics and many interesting subjects https://www.youtube.com/user/sociology119/videos
  8. Bootstrapping Personal Development I just turned 23 today and I feel like I'm only starting my self-actualization journey. I remember when I discovered Actualized.org four years ago at the end of 2015 by entering "Fuck Society" on Youtube. I was a very lonely, socially anxious, depressed, lost and angry 18 years old kid. I tried to improve some stuff and got some results, but nothing extraordinary, I was disappointed because the results were too slow. I was also very impulsive in doing personal development, I wanted huge results immediately, but as I was not getting any of them I was beating myself down and becoming more and more depressed. However, I continued meditating, had some growing experiences and kept watching every new Actualized.org episode without knowing where I would go. The depression finished evaporating and I realized that I have my entire life to self-actualized and that there's no need to rush. I still have many issues, I still have social anxiety but I will fix all of them by baby step. After watching almost every Actualized.org episodes I can now intuit my life's direction and I have enough theories to take action. I also acquired some maturity that I didn't have before, especially last year where I accepted myself enormously. I now feel mature to start my self-actualized journey.
  9. I had the same experience with my dad and he's still authoritarian, narcissistic and very egoistical. The best thing to do (and this is very counter-intuitive) is to accept her and love her. If you hate her, you will feel hate, and hate is not a pleasant emotion. If you love her, you will feel love, which is a far more pleasant emotion. It's as simple as it is in theory, but very difficult in practice. Start doing this as soon as possible and your life will transform. In my case, I was very resistant and so hateful towards my dad that I started to get panic attacks and was unable to sleep at night. This is when I learned to love myself and accept him because otherwise all this hate would kill me. You might also need to distance yourself in the beginning in order to be able to start to accept her, so try to cut contact with her for at least 6 months and take this time to practice acceptance and to introspect.
  10. Afraid Of Death Covid-19 started to hit the country a few days ago. Most of the time I like to joke about death, especially with my mother by asking her if she's afraid of it and by implicitly implying that I don't fear death. However, when the first cases appeared a few days ago, I realized how fearful of death I am as I almost didn't sleep of the entire night as I was thinking about this pandemic. The government chose to lock down the country except for the essential services, but the population is very irresponsible and undisciplined including in my own family. Now the people who don't respect the law are susceptible to get a financial penalty or even a prison penalty if they still refuse to cooperate. This gives me anxieties.
  11. You look like a nice lady!
  12. Damn your hot! (First time that I say this to a girl because I'm too shy in real life lol)
  13. Yeah, I practice acceptance and letting go in my situation too. But sometimes I fail and get pissed off... Thanks for your encouragement
  14. So Much Negativity I'm bored of all those negative and annoying people around me. If you have or had the chance to have a great and supportive family, realize how lucky you are because most people don't have this chance. My situation is not completely bad either, but some people are really annoying and those people usually fuck up the rest of the family.
  15. Maybe when Leo will be back with his healing abilities he will be able to save all humanity.