Etherial Cat

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About Etherial Cat

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  • Birthday January 1

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    Europe
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    Female

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  1. You guys are really cute. I hope it keeps on working for both of you. Well, since people their age tend to not put up with it or have it their way, guess what some of them end up doing? One of my ex at age 27 started dating a 16 year old girl. She just started high school. As I seriously questioned his sanity, he gave me the whole age ain't nothing but a number schtick and said he was in love and that in this particular country it was legal. From what I've seen through social media, that girl really thought that she was mature and that everyone who didn't approved of their their age gap was a hater. But I could just see thing for what they were due to experience. She was at that place where teenage girls believe they are full grown women, smitten to be dating a "mature" man. Him on the other hand, was a nearly 30 year old guy trying to resolve one of his past trauma, hanging at parties with teenagers, trying to adopt younger social codes and feeling embarrassed at his younger friends and girlfriend in front of his older friends, acquaintances and family. Very mature indeed. Circa this age, he got his heart broken by a girl who gave him her virginity and always got a thing for virgins. He had some serious Blue stuff going on in his shadow. Dating her was a way for him to resolve that Karma. I think he did, but the cost ended up being extremely high. Judging ideally shouldn't ever occur. And I'm not only talking about relationship, it's like a general thing that one shouldn't do. It's important to keep an open mind. But depending on the gap, I can't help but to be a bit more suspicious at least at first. I don't think it's a wrong approach. Maybe I wouldn't do it as much If I hadn't seen so many bad age gap relationships. Literally, a year ago a 30 year old acquaintance at a dinner was bragging about how he managed to extort consent from his 19 year old to give him butt sex every other night.
  2. Of course, you can do whatever you like, but in my case I like better to avoid it if possible. I've seen plenty of those age gaps relationships. Some with older men, some with older women. I've seen the best and worst. What I would say, is that it's at best a complication. I'm currently a 30 year old woman, and there is just no way I'd chose as my partner someone who's missing 1/3 of my life experience and is not having the same priorities as I have. I'd be fine with a 27 year old at best, but except some serious exception nothing under. If I would compare who I am right now with who I was at age 20, 20 year old me had a lot of growing up to do. It would be almost more like a parenting relationship than a partnership. That's because dating a 20 year old requires bridging an extremely wide maturity gap which I would anyway refuse to do for that 20something's sake. I would want him to enjoy his life and make his experiences instead of jumping to that much more serious place I'm in. Not to mention that I would expect him to change while he gets to know himself and the rest of the world. The 20s are transformative years. Looking back, the most decent men I met in their 30s backed off when they realized I was 20, 21, or 22. And it was for those reasons. None of them wanted me to grow too early or take advantage of that power gap. Now, I really appreciate that. I anyway wasn't into older dudes, back then I thought that 30 year old men weren't as attractive as the guys I grew up with.
  3. You shouldn't consider having a relationship with this woman. From the elements you've given us, I can't help but notice that she's your mum's friend. Having sex with your friend's kid isn't an ideal situation and shouldn't be a lighthearted decision. She's being a very poor friend to your mother by screwing her son behind her back. Would you want to share such a secret from a friend? I certainly wouldn't, unless the reasons why I eventually did it were far superior than the risk of disappointing her. In her case, I don't think she's got that excuse. It seems more like her relationship with you is based on sex. Absolutely agree. I'm not fond of relationships with a significant age gap for these exact reasons. A younger partner isn't able to clock an older partner and perceive how dysfunctional this person is for his or her age. From my experience, the quality of the intimacy depends highly on how intimates both partners are with themselves first. I'm having a hard time to understand how someone as self-actualized and spiritual as you, could find any intimacy with nearly anyone. I don't doubt that you can see through most of them, but how often does someone see through you? Some forms resonate far better than others. It's that resonance that is special.
  4. The Shadow is basically everything you have inside and refuse to look at and accept as a part of yourself. It creates a split between the part of yourself you accept and identify with and the one you don't accept and reject. Check this channel. There are several videos about it. I think this would be highly beneficial to you. Ps: You don't need anyone's approval to be who you are. You've got to make peace and accept what is within you. Have you thought about joining a forum or a gay community, and see there if you can find like minded people or people who've also been through everything you describe? I think this could be also beneficial.
  5. I'd recommend you to do some shadow work. It seems to me that your mind doesn't want to identify as gay and is preventing you to take any action in this direction. You're afraid it will change your sense of self. It's very likely that you've got consciously or unconsciously negative views on homosexuality (overall our collective consciousness is still rather homophobic and it penetrates early our individual psyche). Also, you might be afraid of all the social violence which is targeted at that group, and worried at how you'll cope with it on a personal level. It's totally fine to be gay, but in certain environment it isn't easy. Are you afraid at how your friends, colleague and/or and family are going to react? The coming out comes off as very scary, from what I've seen. I had a few gay friends who've been through that, and I think it went well overall. It's an uncomfortable moment to go through but then you're free! Usually, what prevents us from showing ourselves to other are painful emotions as such as shame. Shame is terrible, because it's when we can't even find love and appreciation for ourself. It's thinking that we're flawed. If you've got it, you need to heal that.
  6. @28 cm unbuffed How funny. I'm an Aquarius, ascendent Leo.
  7. @Preety_India Feminity isn't submission, it's receptivity as far as I know. Makes a big change IMO.
  8. The man who rings the bell at the brothel unconsciously does so seeking God- Bruce Marshall
  9. @Amit Yep. Absolutely. You take your baggage to the next relationship. That's why I was advising the OP to self-actualize in between. You can shed bad romantic relationships baggages by throwing the trash in other area of your life as well. Some of those principles works as well for work relationship per example, or for the relationship you have with your self.
  10. @Preety_India I've been in plenty of abusive relationships throughout my life. Not only romantically, but as well within my family, friends or acquaintances. Society itself can be perceived as a big abusive and dysfunctional relationship between humans. Usually, there are warning signs and if you can't spot it necessarily from the get go, it will come later as you learn to know that person for who it is rather than the mental projection you have of him/her. But sure, you can meet someone and discover that this person is abusive much later. Humans tend to put a face and act on their best behavior in front of someone new or someone they aren't yet comfortable with. They operate from their persona, until their beingness shines through. Quite often, I've realized that I was dysfunctional, by staying involved in a relationship with someone because I wanted him or her to change into that potential that I saw in him or her, instead of seeing him or her for who this person was at that moment. Every single time that this happened, I thought that it was okay to compromise my standards and needs because I perceived them as wonderful people I wanted in my life, no matter if they'd disrespect me or hurt me. The truth is, they had qualities I couldn't find in myself, and my ego wanted to absorb them so it came with plenty of justifications and narratives on why this was all okay, or even perhaps romantic. I didn't find myself smart, beautiful, rich, popular, deep, successful enough and they seemed to have what I was missing. Having them gave me a superficial sense of healing and wholeness. That's why it was so delicious. And the ups and downs were addictive. The ups of when they would give me what I desired, and the downs when my ego was denied. And letting them go, was letting go of the idea that if after all they had chose me, I must have been worthy of them. It was not true love, it was ego love. I thought I couldn't live without them. I covered the ugliness of it by calling it love True love won't mistreat you, make you cry or even humiliate you. This is corrupted, sick love. And staying with someone who is giving you sick love is at best making of you a nurse, and at worse someone as neurotic. Sometimes, loving someone is saying no to a behavior. Staying can be a dependent junkie's craving for its dose. Putting more effort can comes off as more "loving" from the outside but it is not necessarily the case, especially when you've done your maximum and you just realize that this is not solely up to you. In this case, it takes more courage to leak your wounds and tell them that acting like this or the situation is not okay than to stay. You've got to explain them that you have been hurt, and why this behavior and or pattern of them is going to hurt their ability to have a healthy relationship with yourself or someone else one day. If they won't change once you've stand for your boundaries and tell them it's not okay, then on the contrary, loving them is respecting their freewill, and loving yourself is accepting that this is is not working for you. It's unlikely that they will change anytime soon anyway. And I don't blame victims. I urge them to act so they don't stay victim and say no. If they have the choice to leave, they should take it as fast as they can. That's it.
  11. They are the Godringer's cats!!! I like better to follow cats than rabbits.
  12. I totally agree! Lol. Does the Cheshire Cat count? It's definitely some serious drug tripping material to meet such a cat.
  13. @Meta-Man Interesting. My impression is that if cat's aren't self-aware, they can't be aware that they are God. But God is aware that it is the cat, unaware of being itself. The fact that the cat doesn't have an ego makes it a great teacher as it is allowed to live in the now, without the same ego distortion as we have. Yet, I'm not sure whether an animal's instinct counts as some proto-ego. Cats do have a deep rooted survival mechanism like any form. But they don't seem to judge, or distort reality like we do. I think they are great at accepting situation and what is, even though they can grief, get jealous, or be annoyed at a situation. Cats are master at living in the moment and at just being. Eckhart Tolle even made a book especially on that. "Guardians of Being". I have it. It's super cute!