StarStruck

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  1. That is a good point. I don't trust girls so I won't play open card with them anyway. I found this interesting video below. At 5:29 they say don't be a girl's emotional support: do you agree with that? This girl is just sharing a lot of her day with me and I'm just acknowledging her "emotional hardships" but I'm kind of confused how to act. I met her in the gym and we worked out couple of times. I could invite her to my home and she would come but I'm more in the relationship to learn from her. She is really great at flirting and I hope it rubs off onto me. @Javfly33 True, the moment I gave up on girls, I really started making leaps with pickup.
  2. So I stopped giving approval to girls and they seem to seek it and when I don't give it, they want it even more. Should I keep this dynamic? For now it works but I'm afraid they will give up and just scoot off if I don't give it to them. For now I just give tiny bits of indirect approval and it seems to work but I was wondering what the right way is. To be honest, I'm still beta and I'm looking for validation and approval too and I'm just masking it. It is for my own good will. I noticed that it is a huge turn off for girls if I seek it so I'm just acting I'm not seeking it but girls are not dumb they can sense it. For now I'm just faking it until I make it and I don't need validation and approval. In the meantime I need to keep this dynamic going where they seek my validation and approval. If I know one thing it is this: don't feed pigs until they are full, always keep them begging for more!
  3. Change your association with facing resistance. When the resistance is highest you are closest to success. It reminds me of the saying: the darkest hour is before dawn. The key is to let go of resistance of feeling resistance. See resistance as a sign of growth. Like you are sitting in the gym and pumping iron. You are not really working out if you are not sweating.
  4. There are 5 stages of integration of your feminine (anima) side. MEN Stage 1: Female as Mother: He needs a mommy to take care of him. Stage 2: Female as Sex Object: He wants her to admire him/ be sexually submissive. Stage 3: Female as Supportive Partner: He wants her to be caring loving wife who he provides for. Stage 4: Female as creative/ spiritual guides: She challenges him to find meaning/ love from a source other than a woman. Stage 5: Female as equal partner: He sees her as an equal and opposite partner. But they say that every spiral dynamics level has its own anima animus dynamic so as long as you are not Turquoise you haven't fully integrated your feminine side.
  5. I'm doing much better with dating but I'm still nowhere I want to be: chatting up girls is a walk in the park, getting numbers is easy too, but I have to work on my text game and my personality because most of the time they don't want to meet up. Anyway, so I want to park my dating endeavors and focus on IT (which is my LP) and self improvement. It is very hard though. I'm actually doing good with self improvement (reading spirituality books, going to therapy, and journaling) but with my LP I have a harder time. The main cause of this behavior is that what I really want is a gf. This sounds kind of pathetic and I know I should focus on my LP (which will make me more magnetic and make it easier for a girl to get interested in me) so I can think long term and justify it to myself why I should focus on my LP but I can't get my ass moving.
  6. Which book of his focuses on the chakra system? I saw one of his graphs explaining the chakra model in detail on the internet and I got interested. I'm not referring to the psychograph. I already read integral psychology and integral relationships.
  7. Is that a things? So I have been reading Wilber and his integral theory. I'm a very chaotic person so it really helped me to think straight but I feel like I'm too analytical right now because I'm always looking how something fits into the bigger picture. Systems thinking is a great tool but I feel like I have become too dependent on it. Perhaps I should just stick to it and I will outgrow it? Currently I'm busy with fixing my personal issues and integral psychology by Wilber gives a great frame work: especially the psychograph which combines the great nest theory and the four quadrants. I integrated the knowledge so much that I don't even have to use my active mind to psycho analyze people or myself: I'm just observing and my mind just uses passive knowledge to analyze. For people who are new to systems thinking: I recommend integral theory over spiral dynamics. It encompasses the bigger picture. If systems thinking taught me something it is better to move from big picture to small picture than the other way around. In my experience moving from small picture to big picture, makes the small picture recontextualize and I just lose the wisdom.
  8. Usually I say " Hi, what is up?" Or "Hi, this is x and this is my phone number" but usually I open very customized and refer back to the interaction. Even if they respond, they stop responding after the initial phase. I'm guessing I just don't have enough value for them.
  9. You have to go where the people are that you want to meet. Besides that you need some charisma to attract friends. It is very hard. I'm struggling with it too.
  10. It is hard not to stress about it. It shouldn't be this hard. I see people with no PUA background killing it. Guys with no confidence and nothing special about them. I bet even criminals in jail get more game than me. Today I saw a documentary how hot feminine sending mail to these criminal guys... all the while I can't even get a bitch to text me back. It is hard to not be enraged by this. I'm trying to enjoy the plateau of the learning curve but I didn't expect it to be like this. Especially after another week when I text 4-5 girls and none of them respond back. These are my favourite openers: Observation (about her) opener Opinion opener Direct opener: compliment Funny/weird canned openers Definitely need to work on my confidence and self-esteem but it is not that bad. My confidence and self-esteem is actually ok. I have more balls than 95% of the guys around here. Perhaps I could work on my self-esteem a little bit more by reading pillars of self-esteem.
  11. I'm only doing this since May. In the beginning it was hard but now it is very easy. Getting a phone number doesn't mean anything. How can I not take it personal if I text 5 girls to do something with me this weekend and none doesn't take the time to send a freaking text back? My expectations aren't that even high. I'm aiming at 10% success rate (from phone number to date) and I'm not even reaching that. So I started in May and I got around 25 phone numbers and I've only gone on dates with two girls. With one girl: 3 dates and with the other: 1 date. Most of my phone numbers I have gotten this month and last month. In the beginning of my PUA career I was very ineffective with getting phone numbers. If I'm doing what I'm doing right now it is not worth it. I'm putting a lot of time and energy into it and I'm not getting back my minimalist expectations. I did two PUA programs on natural game. Perhaps I should do another one. That is a lot. I wish I had those results. How many phone numbers resulted in 20 dates?
  12. I remember your advice and I did try to build a social circle but it is not easy. I get some dudes numbers from the gym and they are just as flakey as girls. I'm just wanting a training buddy for starters but they just don't see the value in it. They rather train alone or when they want, I guess. I experimented with this and it is true. The chance they reply is much higher but from my experience they flake on me/ignore me sooner or later but that doesn´t take away from the fact that this is a good practise. I wish I knew this earlier. Some people give the exact opposite advice. They told me to totally ignore the girl after setting up the date (that doesn't work). I will try what you told me for a change. Very clever but usually I don't even get that far. I get her number and I try to text her or call her and she just doesn't respond. It is very hard to proceed from this spot. I can try to call her every couple of days hoping she picks up but they rarely do. From my experimentation, if I bog them down enough, they will be forced to reject me so I stop trying. So my conclusion is that most girls give their number and they are too lazy to reject the guy. My male brain says "so just don't give me your number then if you don't want me" and I still can't understand that part from female psychology. I should just stop trying to understand them. At this point I really don't know what I can do more. I exhausted all of my options. Only thing that comes to mind is to consume more PUA material and become more manipulative and push their buttons more. The natural PUA material just doesn't work with me. They don't want a nice and authentic guy. I need to play the game and push their buttons. My social life sucks and my social media sucks even more. I don't look great in pictures. I discovered this after going on tinder where girls rejected me on a collective scale. That is hard to believe.