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About Mada_

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    Victoria, Australia
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  1. I had this weird spontaneous urge to become a sustainable architect the other night. I'd had the idea circling in my head after attending a biophillic design seminar but it doesn't on the surface wholely interest me. I then drew a small building on paper to see what it felt like and it was just beautiful for some reason, i felt extra loving whilst doing so. Could this be a distraction/delusion? It does seem cool the idea of being a yogi architect, that's what I was invisioning.
  2. Hahahaha. Thankyou for this question. Rather than "I'm an incompetent escapist who doesn't study", i can just implement these habits because i see their value
  3. Are you in a long term relationship Leo?
  4. Do you think achieving your life purpose could have been possible without your initial success with your marketing business? Apolagies if already stated later in the life purpose course.
  5. I have come to this conclusion because a definition i found matched me. In relation mostly to my school work, i allow it to irritate me as i feel my time would be better spent doing 'my' research, when i begin a life changing book the textbook summaries of topics im given at school just seen 10x more tedious. I have inquired and decided i could just use it as a platform for me making shit, as I'm doing a few creative subjects. But i feel as though my other pursuits in life, my existential research and life purpose out way academia. Yet if I son learn how to tackle drudgery, is this a recipe for failure? It doesn't seem directly applicable to my entrepreneurial ambitions. So why bother? Is there something I'm not seeing?
  6. @Salvijus How would I need to prepare myself for volunteering at the ashram, is there a standard of physical fitness?
  7. Has anyone here volunteered at Sadghuru's ashram? Would you care to share your experiences? Peace
  8. I finish high-school soon and am thinking about being initiated into a kriya tradition. I have J.C Stevens book and practice daily, yet i feel having a live experience would just be better suited to me. I resonate with Sadghuru as a teacher, yet i can't find any initiation events of his online. Has anyone been initiated into this tradition? Are there any other kriya traditions that people have been initiated into that they found very beneficial. My goal is to accumulate strong enough practices that I could take to a cave in the future if I chose to go there, that's just how I see being self-actualized, being as a system larger than life, able to survive an extreme experience if I wanted to do so. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Peace
  9. I'm finishing High School soon, so I was wondering if anyone has any recommendations for business seminars, beginner entrepreneurship programs etc. As I would like to start my own business next year. Peace and thankyou
  10. @Preetom @Nahm @FoxFoxFox Thankypu everyone, this has been very helpful
  11. So can i just sit in stillness and ask questions? or must I intensely focus on the observer? When i focus intensely the present feeling of not-knowimg goes away and it feels like I'm just frantically creating tension.
  12. I feel like I'm running round in circles. I don't know whether I'm doing enough work, but then I have this gnarly ego backlash and this depression that comes and goes. I feel like i waste every minute that I'm distracted, yet I don't know what that minute should have been occupied with. My practices were really neurotic for a while, i was doing heaps of meditation and self inquiry but not getting anywhere, it just felt like i was 'doing' lots of stuff and not fucking with my own reality. I've tried toning it back a bit and doing more contemplation which i really enjoy it and I get actual recontextualizations from doing that practice. Does these sound like good signs, neutral signs or negative signs to anyone who has been through the motions?
  13. Intention: address merit of self-doubt and hatred. Coming up at around 12:00pm i felt this growing sense of pleasant tingling sensations all through my body. This growing sense of love over came my heart to the point where it burned. The tensions in my body then became as clear as day and my worries all started seeming stupid, the emotion ludicrous in the face of love. Then i realize the mistake i made was when i got up and left the room, the reason for this is because i decided that my life is so precious and beautiful and it could slip away and i was just wasting it not being in the present moment, i felt this overwhelming sense of love for life and being made me want to leave and just conquer the world. This was my first breakthrough dose after a my first trip being a 110 so i kind of forgot the advice i was going to follow to he honest, which was to be still and do nothing. Which showed me that i think I am mindful but I'm really not. It began to show me how insanely tight my body was, which seemed apparent as a huge factor of my digestive issues. I was able to bring my awareness to where my spine needs pressure of and i realized when integrating 1) I'm just not in tune with my body and kind to my body and its kind of disgusting, it was just so obvious that life is beautiful and i was trashing it by having good posture and relaxing and just loving it 2) and i realized due to this I'm not comfortable doing yoga until i correct my spine, and i should actually do more research on the risks out of compassion for myself. I've been doing kriya yoga for a few months now and i just feel irresponsible not looking into it more to assess the risks before continuing-i believe this will help me surrender more to the practice in the long run. I need to become more In tune with my body, and it was clear that my neuroticism was the root my distraction from it. I then became aware of how horrible i am to myself, this relating directly to my intention, was an important insight into my own propensity for self love. It was disgusting how thought would beat itself up for failing when failing was good, failure was wonderful (not denying it can also be very detrimental, especially in the context of the use of psychedellics). But i realized there is just not point in beating myself up about things and trying to stress and argue with reality, it is better to love myself and surrender to mystery because the truth is I'm just trying to figure life out at the moment and I'm fine with that. At 17, i was able to realize I'm at a really early chapter in my life and that i should view it as a creating process not an entirely linear scheduled one. And is now clear i can i my thrive if i fully love and accept myself, life will just be more fun and productive then. I will make Byron Katie's 'the Work' a regular part of my week, doing the technique at least three times a week. I'm very addicted to my monkey mind, when I'm not focused on the present moment I'm lost in fantasy. I'm going to be as mindful as possible, and purchase shinzen youngs books to help with this. Conclusion: there's much consciousness work to do, after feeling what it felt like to have clearer body awareness i realize i need to become more mindful and begin healing my body and just being kinder to it. I also need to fully love myself unconditionally, i cannot optimize if i do not embody unconditional love. Whilst being aware there is lots of work to do, i have fucked around for a while which i forgive myself for but it is also an injustice to myself not to live to absolute full potential, because my life is so precious and could slip away at any moment.