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About StarStruck

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  1. I didn’t expect to end up here. 14:39
  2. You are god is probably the funniest and the most truthful thing you can say to somebody.
  3. @mandyjw agreed. It makes me uncomfortable to think about it like that. The self-help literature always told me those borders existed you know.
  4. @mandyjw You say there isn’t a higher and lower self but then you proceed to explain the difference between the two. I’m confused about that. I’m not sure how to proceed now. Negative self talk and taking away from self love when I fail my high standards is definitely something I need to work on. At the moment I’m pushing myself to work harder. Something that I’m not use to. It just creates stress and I think I need to be mindful of how I interpret these sensations. Part of me says (traumatized part) just wants to stay where it is and the other part wants to move to newer places. Both parts want the same thing but it is hard to sell.
  5. @mandyjw there is a lower self and a higher self. For me it feels these two are always fighting. I do notice that I can lash out at my lower self. When I try to be nice to the lower self things go much smoother but there is still this inner struggle between the one who is seeking comfort and the one who wants to be a higher self. Your comment about higher self lashing out in not-selflove is something I didn't notice. That part of me always told me I'm lashing out because I love you and want you to be the best. How can I sabotage myself if there is just 1? Do you need two persons for sabotage? I'm kind of confused about that question but I will think about it.
  6. Isn't doing self help implying that you are not good enough as you are? It is something I don't get or at least: I can't explain it to myself. For example if you tell yourself you look good as you are and you go and do a nose job, are you really? This can be applied to self help too. You accept yourself as you are and afterwards you are trying to change major parts of yourself. I noticed that my inner self is resisting to the idea of changing and self improving because of this inconsistency. I feel self neglected, being lied to and thus I lose my drive. Self sabotage is also a thing that happens. What I'm really asking, I think, is how to accept yourself, not neglect your inner child, and at the same time try to change him. For me personally I think this feeling of self neglect stems from my childhood.
  7. Less thinking and more doing. That should be something you should write on your fridge. The mental prison is build on fear and you need to seek what puts fear in you and then do it until you aren't afraid.
  8. @IJB063 I'm addicted to content. I consume much more books/podcasts and other multimedia than I write about it or contemplate about it. I tried to stop with consuming information and I notice it is very hard. Probably it is a good idea to go cold turkey and stop with books, youtube and podcasts for a while but it is very hard. There is thus negative sensation in my body if I don't indulge in my addiction. Self help has become a form of escapism for me. I think my first priority should be to heal the addiction for information and then create a healthy balance between consuming information and self-actualization. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. I have to turn inwards. That is what I know and then get my hands dirty. Just being present and deal with life is something I have been neglecting. It is so much easier to neglect the present and indulge in endless self-help material.
  9. Thanks for the tips guys. I'm using OneNote. Sometimes I have trouble coming up with topics to write about. The problem is that there are topics but I'm not aware of what is going on in my head. What I noticed that it is important to go deep into topics and not stay on the service level. I think this is called going meta. This is something my mind really like to do. I rather browse on the net or do something else to distract myself instead of being aware what is going on in my head. I recently bought a more comfortable phone. I'm going to try to keep track of my automatic thoughts. These thoughts are so rapid that most of the time I'm not even aware of them. The problem with that is that I can be stuck in my own web of thoughts. Especially because I'm negative minded. Before opening this topic i checked my daily journal and I noticed that most of my entries were so similar. This is probably why journaling is something I dont like to do. I don't get a lot of return on invesment. I'm going to implement the tips I got in this topic and I hope that will bring a change.
  10. Didn't do jack shit today.
  11. Do you guys use any techniques or a model when journaling? What do you track? Are you consisted? I'm interested to know how others journal.
  12. Save enough money to buy enough food and do a retreat for X amount of months.
  13. Subtility Taking walks and contemplating is so fascinating. I encounter people, things, and memories. Especially walking somewhere where I got a lot of memories gave me some interesting insights. Trying to catch myself how I react to things is so useful. It approach it like studying a lab rat. Today I noticed how I resist to things. It is so subtle. Enlightenment is so subtle. I have been looking for the magic pill and there isn´t (besides 5 MeO DMT :)) but there is a magic formula and that is just consciousness. I'm starting to connect various concepts discussed within Actualized org and outside of it. It is all pointing to the same thing. I already understood this on a conceptual level but now it is getting experiential. Something I noticed too is the danger of low level conscious thinking, when I'm in that stage I'm just wasting mental bandwidth and not becoming wiser while it feels like I'm doing something useful. Holistic thinking combined with concentration and being unbiased is truly something else. If one has skin in the game and wants a certain outcome you can't even see many subtilities.
  14. @dimitri there are people on this forum who figured out electric vaping. It can work. I’m not comfortable with the pipe and the burning onto the glass after multiple uses. That can’t be healthy. And secondly those burns onto the glass also tells you that you waste most of the molecules.