decentralized

I think the reason people are so against suicide is because it brings pain to the patient's loved ones. Why are people so against it when the only thing to save her from the pain is to kill herself? Is there any real consequences to suicide anyway, except hurting people who loves you. Sorry if I seem insensitive but I've been dealing with mental illness for such a LONG TIME I don't care if 2 people who loves me will feel sad if I'm gone. I just want the pain to go away. Is there really karmic consequences to suicide, like do you reincarnate in a WORSE situation with karmic debt or is this just what people say to scare you away from killing yourself? Is there a real consequence to kill yourself? I KNOW the infinite consciousness wanted to experience itself as me, that's twisted as fuck in its part, I don't want to participate in this game anymore and just end it all and never come back. But my opinion is that God doesn't care if you suicide or not, after you die you'll come back to this earth as something else and it doesn't have anything to do with how you died in your previous life.

25F. Had a traumatic past, no one thought me how to respect and love myself, when I was 21 I found the "love of my life" who did everything he can to fix me and help me actualize myself, but I was so fixated on my identity I could not change. I kept choosing being miserable even though it hurt me a lot. It's crazy how your mind turns against you and sabotage every effort you do in order to fix yourself. I kept being insecure and socially awkward, never developed healthy social skills or any skills in general, I loved making art but I was such a professional procrastinator I kept finding excuses to not do it, I was afraid of failure in a very pathologic way. I ended my 4.5 year relationship with my boyfriend 2 months ago because, well, he cheated. He didn't have to cheat on me but believe me, he tried SO hard to change me, and I kept sabotaging myself, so even though it's painful I understand why he lost his interest in me. I used LSD, weed and ketamine but they did not change my personality fundamentally, maybe that's because of the dosage or the fact that I'm pathologically attached to my miserable identity. Now I'm still in college, for graphic design, won't be graduated until I'm 28, I live in a 3rd world country with extreme rates of inflation, never had a job, I fear that my most beautiful times are over and no other guy will love me as he did. It's really crazy how I wasted so many opportunities I had while I was with him. Now I won't even be able to use psychedelics as much as I used to because he always bought them for us and he knows the dealers, I don't. That's definitely the lowest point of my adult life. Please be gentle. I know I fucked it up. I literally wake up from my dreams everyday thinking how terribly I fucked it all up. I'm horrified at how bad things have turned and I really need a perspective. I don't have a social circle that I feel accepted in and supported. I'm thinking about killing myself because I don't see how am I going to get myself out of this situation. I feel like my survival instinct is not strong enough to actually fight for my life, I had so many opportunities to fix ALL of my issues but I kept choosing being miserable. I need to change. Or I'll keep being unhappy like this and starve. How the fuck am I going to get myself out of this situation? PS: Of course he is not a saint. He has severe substance abuse issues and money problems. But at least he has a social life and he is loved by a lot of people. Now he doesn't care how my life turned upside down, even though he's very well aware of it. I don't understand why infinite consciousness chose to experience itself as ME, it's so twisted that I got so close to find real Love and Truth but now everything is upside down.

I don’t know if astrology is real or not but I broke up with the same man in 2 different Venus retrogrades. One in December 2021 and the other in July 2023. It was a dysfunctional relationship, I ignored a lot of red flags, I shouldn’t have gone back to him after the first time we broke up etc. it seems it’s more than mere coincidence to me.

What does it mean to be creative and what actually happens when we are being creative? Creating is not just about painting or writing songs, we use a certain amount of creativity even in our daily tasks like writing this post. How can we train ourselves to be more creative / more connected to the infinite intelligence? Only episode I found about this topic is this clip, but I think Creativity deserves its own episode.

I think nobody should take this test too literally lol I didn’t read the descriptions on that site but I think the test is easy and accurate enough than the the other tests of other tests I found online. I wouldn’t take overactive is necessarily good or bad, I think it depends on the individual and which chakra is overactive.

I recently had grown an interest for the chakra system, solved this test and I think its results are definitely so accurate for me. Would love to see your results as well! ihttps://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest

@Insightful27 would you recommend this book to females as well?

@Leo Gura I think if you were able to jerk off on it you’re probably also be able to have sex. It might not make sex more pleasurable but wouldn’t having sex on it potentially increase your high, when both of you are aware that you’re having sex with yourself? Or maybe there’s another way to achieve this. @integral yes acid is absolutely great for sex but I find it’s harder to reach god consciousness on it compared to heavier stuff, I don’t know about mushrooms though. That’s why I asked what it would be like in drugs like 5-MeO

So what kind of drug can be used if both parties want to have sex with the awareness that they are God? Which drug (or combo) would allow them to feel it as intensely as possible while still being able to enjoy sex?

I’m really curious what it would be like to have sex on 5-MeO. Obviously, it’s a very powerful hallucinogen and it’s possible that you won’t care about having sex while you’re blasting off, but wouldn’t it be a very unique experience if both sides are on it and both of them know they’re God at that exact moment, and they’re aware that they’re having sex with themselves? Interesting.

You’re sabotaging yourself by letting your LP get in the way of what you want to do. What you set as your life purpose can change over time, no one is forcing you to pick one thing and stick to it for the rest of your life. You make that rule for yourself. To me this way of thinking is very similar to dogmatic religions. Just be flexible and do whatever you want at the moment. Buy that GPU if you want to. Fill your house with technological gadgets and use them to inspire people, bring something new into this world. It’s not that important. You’re not bound to anything.

@LSD-Rumi well, if the antidepressant you're using binds to the 5HT2A receptor you're going to need a higher dose to trip, but it's very complex and not very understood even by professionals. Some of my friends had to quit antidepressants because while on them they didn't feel any effects from the LSD. If you're using an atypical antidepressant such as bupropion it won't effect the trip and it can even enhance it, in fact I'm very curious about this combo

This is very beautifully written, thank you for sharing the Love.

Whatever. You’re not enlightened to Love.