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About flume

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  • Birthday 04/02/1995

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  1. This place is such a treasure because you can talk to real people about all the strange, good and bad things that are happening to you on this confusing and (often) lonely path. I’m very grateful for the kind of guidance that is offered here. It can be scary and confusing as hell for example when in one moment your entire life changes. You literally don’t know if you’re going through a psychosis or how you should still function in this world. And on top of that, there’s no one to talk to. Your friends and family often won’t understand and doctors would probably drug you if you told them what is happening to you. So here’s my idea: Why not introduce some kind of help line for these kinds of emergency situations? For people that are having acute and overwhelming experiences like deep realisations and awakenings. Just someone on standby that can offer their experience and a listening ear. There are ‘spiritual emergence centres’ all over the world for this purpose. Link: http://www.spiritualemergencenetwork.org The problem is, you’re probably not living close to one and maybe you don’t have the time or means to go there. So how about taking that idea but being able to talk to someone directly without having to go anywhere? Or maybe something like that already exists that I’m not aware of? When I lived alone and scary things started happening to me, I had no one to talk to. I remember I would scroll through the forum, unable to write a post, looking for something that could help me while actually just talking to someone face to face might have helped a lot more. Leo, you once said that you called a friend after you found out you just imagined your parents. A lot of people don’t have anyone to talk to in those situations. Ok, maybe it ultimately doesn’t help (because you’ve imagined him too, haha) but it was still a kind of first assistance, no? Yes, you ultimately have to save those things alone but don’t underestimate the power of human connection. Just knowing that something like this is available in case of emergency might give some people more courage to face those scary things. Obviously, everyone would have to respect that kind of service and not abuse it. And I’m not talking about having someone to get lost in philosophical discussions with. The forum (and everything else that is in written form, like book) is still amazing for self actualisation work. I’m really just talking about emergencies here. Obviously I have no idea how something like that would be actualized;-) I just wanted to get this idea off my chest.
  2. @loub Go to bed before midnight Sleep enough (usually 8h, maybe you need more or less though) Don’t eat too late Eat easy to digest meals in the evening Eating more fruits and vegetables and cutting back on processed food will increase your energy in general Move enough during the day Avoid screens 1h before bed and also 30min after waking up Drink camomile tea before going to sleep Use your bed(room) only to sleep in it, not for other activities (watching movies, eating,…) Put your alarm far away from your bed so you have to get up to put it off Splash your face with cold water right after you wake up or take a shower directly Put on motivating music and dance if you’re still tired Do something you love in the morning:-) Consider a set morning routine to get you through the first hour or so
  3. @Truth Addict Others have been there and it felt completely natural and fine. He doesn't judge, that's the difference. He's making a statement of his relationship towards sex at the moment. He will come back around and see the divine in sex and intimacy. He probably already sees it actually, there's just no desire to engage in it right now. Don't make a problem where there is none. I'm sure you mean well but it might have just been different for you. The way he describes it I recognise everything I went through myself and it was a very freeing process actually. One you shouldn't interfere with in my opinion. All in good time.
  4. @Truth Addict You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s not ideas in his head, he’s describing his experience and it’s perfectly valid. @inFlow I’ve been there too. It took 6 months for me till my sex drive came back. I actually didn’t even notice for months because I was single. So there’s a good chance it will come back for you too, better than ever :-) When you’re detached you’ll actually really enjoy it for the first time. That’s what real freedom feels like. I’d say don’t pressure yourself in that phase. Sex just doesn’t serve you right now, so don’t push yourself. Let go of it for now. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re deluding yourself. Who cares about ‘true awakening’ or whatever, it’s part of your path right now. Trust your gut, it’ll be alright. It will probably come back but even if it doesn’t, don’t you feel more open and loving than ever? Isn’t that all that matters? But I can imagine it has to be difficult to explain to your partner. Sex is the easiest way to get back to the feeling of oneness. We’re all craving it. In orgasm, there is no separation. That is how the species is reproduced: through the experience of God. You’re with God already, that’s why you don’t need it right now. So you tell me: Do you ever get used to being with God? :-)
  5. @Fortunate Son Don’t change too much too quickly. You’ll fail for sure and you’ll judge yourself which helps no one. Simplify, especially in the beginning. And remember: Doing something (even if it’s just 5 minutes) everyday is better than doing a lot every once in a while. No need to stretch and do yoga and walk for example. Do something to move your body every morning but you can mix it up if you want. Just keep 30min aside, maybe you’ll feel like a walk and short stretch one day and like doing yoga another day. Try prepping easy meals once or twice a week while listening to music or a new video from Leo :-) Also include things you love and get you excited in your schedule: make your favourite beverage after coming back from your walk for example. Start light and make it easy for yourself: Write a few lines while your tea is brewing, no need to write 3 pages and meditate for an hour. Focus on 1 - 2 habits (I’d say meditation and some kind of movement in the morning) and try to keep going for 2 or 3 weeks. Then add something new. It can also help to exchange the word ‘should’ for ‘could’ when you think about all this. I keep a list of ‘things I could do in the morning’. This little word takes off so much pressure and I actually end up doing most of it everyday. Also get a good grip on why you want to do the things you do. Maybe write some kind of mission statement for yourself. Something like ‘I want my music to change people’s life and I wanna be as healthy and conscious as I can so achieve this.’ If you read this in the morning it will get you in the right mindset and motivate you to keep going with your habits. I usually have a tight morning schedule but I leave my evenings empty to read a good book, meet up with people, watch something or just do whatever I want to relax. I need that to stay sane and it keeps me from getting obsessed with scheduling. I have 1,5h in the morning and I do yoga, shower, meditation, mission statement, tea, writing (+gratitude list) and I read 1 or 2 pages of a book. Then I eat breakfast and get ready. When these 1,5h are over then that’s it with ‘should’ and ‘must’ for the day. Everything else I manage as it comes, I won’t stress about it. I eat when I’m hungry, I listen to music when I feel like it, I meet friends when the opportunity is right. It’s not necessary to schedule every detail of your life. And don’t worry, it’ll get a lot easier. Once you do this for some weeks you’ll actually want to keep your habits going because you feel so much better than before. It won’t feel like torture forever, it’s just unusual in the beginning. Good luck :-)
  6. @pluto Honestly, the first time I read this post I was just laughing and making fun of it in my head. Got myself back together quickly though because I actually have experienced not being hungry for days when I had some kind of realisation or when I felt more 'aligned’ with life than usual (somehow ‘in the flow’, it’s hard to explain). It’s like I just forgot to eat. Also needing less sleep and being more aware while sleeping. It feels like being plugged into an invisible electricity outlet that gives you endless amounts of energy, doesn’t it? So I got caught in closed mindedness for a bit… but I’m willing to get out of it :-) May I ask how active you are? I can imagine going without food when I wouldn’t have to move much but I have a very physically demanding job. I can’t even manage intermittent fasting because I would literally drop by 11 am if I don’t eat breakfast.
  7. @Schahin From what I’m reading in your post it seems like you’d like to get some kind of certainty / idea about the future. You shouldn’t wast time in trying to predict anything with astrology. Imo it doesn’t work, life is way too complex. If it would work that way, someone would have found out already and there’d be no surprises. That doesn’t mean that it’s all bs but maybe we have to approach it differently. Here’s what I found out about this topic so far: Different planets have different meanings and depending on how they’re aligned (conjunctions and oppositions), characteristic events happen in our individual or collective human life. It’s less about hard scientific facts but if you develop a bit of an archetypal eye and you’re able to think in big picture terms it’s becoming more obvious. (Richard Tarnas spent a huge chunk of his life looking for these correlations. Read ‘Cosmos And Psyche’ if you’re interested.) You can look back at historical events and see that pretty clearly or could learn to draw your natal chart and check for yourself how the planets were aligned in different times of your life (and what those planets mean). So certain planets might stand for certain dynamics but it’s basically impossible to know how it’s gonna play out up front. For example: Chaplin and Hitler had very similar birth charts, associated with alignments that stand for great skill in communication, proneness to nervous agitation, harsh life experiences such as sustained poverty and isolation, problematic relationships with authority combined with controlling tendencies, a pull towards personal eccentricity, artistic impulses and interests, experiences of rejection and frustration, inclinations towards relationships with unusually young or emotionally immature woman and capability to powerfully move audiences. They had very different lives but it’s hard to deny the similarity in these dynamics. Again, only when you look at it with an archetypal eye. But hey, it’s hard to draw the line there on where one could just add meaning to things that aren’t there. Objectivity is out the window for sure. So in his book he says that yes, there’s a tendency to experience breakthroughs and transformation in correspondence with certain planetary alignments but they do not per se cause it. They’re just indicators of an underlying pattern that is playing itself out. The planets do not ‘cause’ events anymore than a clock doesn’t ‘cause’ time, it’s an indicator of it, it happens simultaneously. He also writes that even though he was very sceptical, he thinks that the universe is an interconnected whole, informed by creative intelligence which causes patterns of meaning. Something informs the cosmos and our psyche. “As above, so below” Whatever that is and if you believe in it is up to you. God? Maybe he’s not doing a very good job at hiding;-)
  8. The only thing that is permanent in your experience is you. So maybe try and provide yourself some permanence? You obviously need stability to get through the day. Prioritise that over trying to grasp concepts that are overwhelming you. Thinking about it won’t help. Try to do more and think less. Follow your genius. Solutions might present themselves through actions, sometimes when you least expect it. Just some suggestions: Have a date or a call with a friend once a week, join a hiking group, take the same kind of walk everyday, put some time in something that sparks your interest/ a creative project, look up job alternatives that excite you, make a vision board, etc. You obviously had a great time the past days. Maybe loving your camping trip/ being outside so much is trying to tell you something. Sometimes when you start meditating things you thought were ‘kind of ok’, like a job for example, suddenly seem terrible and situations become unbearable. You can’t deny the obvious anymore: it’s time for a change. Let’s be honest, you’re probably not living the life you want. How long are you gonna be stuck in this? :-) We will probably have to deal with the impermanence thing at some point but this day doesn’t have to be today. All in good time.
  9. What. The. Fuck. I'm reading this post only now! After sending you the message. I SWEAR! Literally laughed for 5 minutes. I give up. Life is too much. What am I even?
  10. You could try and find a farm/ community that you like and volunteer there. They might let you live and eat there in exchange for working several hours a day in the garden or in the fields. Camphill - style! I did that for quite a while and it's a good way to find your own direction. In a bigger community it's also usually easier to spread the work and have a bigger variety of food of your own, not just some veggies from the garden and 2 fruit trees. I work (actually hope to work soon) on a farm where we're I'd say we're 90% self sustained. That includes everything from fruit (fresh and for jam and juice) veggies (all year round) to grains (for making our own pasta, rice, spelt for bread, buckwheat etc), herbs (for tea and spices), milk (and milk products like cheese and yoghurt), eggs, meat and fish. Even wood for furniture, bowls, etc. and wool for clothes and carpets. Just for reference, this grew over the past 20 years and there's around 30 people working there everyday. Again: it's a ton of work! But doing it that way (in exchange for living/eating there) you would bypass having to own something and saves you a lot of responsibility.
  11. @Cocolove Hi, lovely to see other people interested in sustainable farming here. First I’d say don’t underestimate what it takes to be totally self sufficient. You’ll need to have a lot of experience and you’re gonna have to make a ton of sacrifices. Especially in colder climates it can be a huge challenge to realise. So being totally self sustained is probably aiming a bit too high, especially in the beginning. Work part time, see to make passive income or work from home. If you wanna go all in consider selling some of your produce or starting a CSA. You’ll never be rich though. You also don’t have to grow everything yourself, there are lots of alternatives and in-between steps. Look into community gardens and food coops for example. Where to start? On a farm;-) From your post I can’t read how much experience you have in gardening/farming but I’d say start on other farms for sure and see how you like it. There’s lots of different ways of living sustainably, no two farms are the same. Get a feel of what you like, not only in theory but in practice. Farming is very hands - on. I can seem romantic until you have to work 12h days in a physically exhausting job just to see half of your produce go to waste because it doesn't rain enough. Only if it's a true passion you'll be able to take those kinds of setbacks. It’s beautiful and rewarding if you love it and you’re willing to put all of your energy into it. But I don’t know a lot of people that would actually thrive doing it.
  12. I think that’s how it is with a lot of potentially addictive things actually. Some people can just smoke cigarettes every once in a while and not even think about it twice. They don’t see a problem so there is none. Then physical addiction might kick in and we’re all different in response to that. And/or you can start to obsess about all the details about it and go down the road of restriction and binging on things that cause no problems to others. I’m actually just becoming aware of how big of a deal porn and masturbation seems to be for guys for example. Before coming on this forum I barely even thought it could be on someone’s mind that much but hey, we all have that one thing (or more) that occupies our mind like crazy and that we make so much bigger than it has to be. @Danioover9000 Thanks for the kind words. Now look at @Shins and @bejapuskass comments. They did the same thing I did, they took the time to write about how porn influenced their life. I didn’t mention any benefit either. We all felt that something got significantly better after quitting porn. Improvement necessarily means that it’s better than before. You can’t ask people to list benefits if there just are none for them. People here are really just trying to help you to not waste as much time as they did. They’re responding because they recognise something in you that they felt themselves before. If you feel the difference in your life it’s not dogma. But if you haven’t experienced both sides, you just don’t know/ think that it could be better the other way. Take a step back and just read the posts for the information they provide. I read in another post that you have little experience with sex and relationships so I think you’re just trying to better understand things, so that’s good. Maybe you just have to go out there, get some experience and judge for yourself if watching porn helped you. Nothing anyone can say here could convince you anyway, just as nothing can convince me of something that is different from my experience. Experience it for yourself and report back at us. Is it gonna kill you if you watch porn sometimes? Of course not. Do it as long as you want. It’s an experience so it will inevitably teach you something. Everything’s ‘beneficial’ in the end anyway. You came to right forum with all your questions, now it’s up to you to be open minded enough to listen and try stuff out for yourself. Don’t get stuck in pointing fingers and trying to control where this thread is going. That being said, I actually thought of a benefit porn might have. It can help you to normalise your desires. But then again, we shouldn’t need porn for that. If we’d learn to communicate a bit more openly and get rid of the taboos there’d be no need to discuss/discover these things through porn. It might also relieve stress, but so do drugs, food, etc. Turning to anything like that is not a great way (or no way at all) to deal with one’s emotions. I also agree that there are much better resources for learning about sexuality. If you watch Leo’s video on how to have great sex and maybe do some reading into David Deida’s work, you’ll be able to satisfy a woman better than 98% of guys out there. All the best!
  13. @Danioover9000 @Bill W I bet there’s lots of great research out there and all the points made here a totally valid but I just wanna explain what porn feels like from a woman’s perspective. I haven’t watched a lot of porn in my life but every time I did I thought ‘That can’t be nice. How can she like that?’ I think porn is hugely made for men. At least watch amateur if you really want to. Of course you start comparing your body and your performance to porn stars. But even worse, you start thinking that there’s something wrong with you for not liking what they show in porn. Penetration isn’t automatically pleasurable for woman as it is for men. A shocker for most men, I know! It’s a freaking challenge to really turn a woman on in bed. Sex is so much more than going in and out a few times. Most woman want more than that, they want a deep connection. What I’ve seen in porn sets totally unrealistic expectations on both sides. It took me a long time to un-learn acting in bed and permitting myself to make some demands. (And I have watched very very little porn and had great, caring boyfriends so I don’t even wanna know how much other woman are struggling with this.) The point you made may be right, but 99,9% of people are vulnerable when it comes to this and are not conscious enough to see that what they’re watching is not the reality. Your brain can’t distinguish very well on what’s real and what isn’t. (Otherwise you wouldn’t even be turned on while watching it). I think that’s especially true for when you’re a teen and you form your sexual habits. And even if you intellectually know and you’re also super conscious, it still influences you. Think about why you have sex the way you do. Who taught you? Your parents? Movies? Porn? It’s a mix of things you saw before, otherwise you wouldn’t even know it’s possible. It’s like with all media, if you have a choice, be super careful what you feed your thoughts with. You’re nothing but a product of your surroundings. Considering all the points made in this thread it’s just not worth it for me. I can say I’ve had the best sex with guys that haven’t watched porn in a long time. That could of course be a coincidence but I don’t think it is. And I’m not talking good when it comes to technique but good in presence, which is so much more important. I think that’s what it comes down to with intimacy anyway. Can you be present with your own body jerking off without starring at a screen? Can you have sex with your girlfriend without thinking about porn? Because if not, you’re probably missing something very important and you’re probably not conscious enough to make all the claims made above with being able to separate porn from reality. Sexuality is beautiful, learn lots about it for sure. But doing that by watching porn is like saying you wanna learn how to cook well so you’ll just go to a junk food restaurant and see what you can learn. You’re not offered what you’re looking for but you might be tricked into thinking that it is what you want. Maybe it’s in the same general category of what you want to learn but I’m hesitant to use the word beneficial. So good to read you btw Bill! A breath of fresh air to read someone that’s actually humble enough to learn. So proud you’re still sticking around. I’m happy to hear you have a girlfriend, hope everything is working out well. In the end, you still need to make the decision on whatever works for you and your relationship. We’re all just sharing here. Keep up the good work!:-)
  14. Children want nothing more than to learn and make sense of their surrounding. Playing is just their way of doing it. We generally pay very little attention to the pace at which children develop which results in them having to sit still all day and ‘learn’ by the age of 6. Thankfully, there’s lots of alternatives already and they’ll become a lot more popular. I have the pleasure to be around lots of people that went to a Steiner- (Waldorf) or Montessori school. Not saying those are perfect (yet) but usually those people have not lost their drive to learn new things and have a good sense of their strengths and weaknesses. (Compared to when I graduated high school where everyone just detested everything that had anything to do with studying and has no idea what to do with their lives.) School just doesn’t prepare you for real life at all. We still live in a society where people adequate intelligence with being able to reproduce what someone else said. Rather we should focus on critical thinking, independence, social skills and being able to deal with one’s emotions. The head of the Belgian public employment service actually once said that 70% of children that start school today will have a job that doesn’t even exist yet. Of course our school system can't work when you look at those numbers so change is inevitable. It’s a huge waste of time at best and takes everyone’s passion and confidence away at worst.