flume

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    Austria
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  1. 10h work days, no sleep, do it for love, don’t fall asleep, don’t fall asleep!
  2. Maybe look at that issue from a bit of a different perspective: How would your view change if you understood this about woman? Listen closely. It’s really more sad than it is ‘mean’ when woman go after men with money. They’re fearing for their lives. It doesn’t really matter if there’s woman out there who would choose a guy just for his money. It won’t be you because these woman won’t trap you if you develop yourself enough. Often these kinds of ‘relationships’ are an unspoken agreement of trading sex and looks (coming from woman) for money (coming from men). Because there are just as many men out there who want a young, pretty doll to show off as there are woman digging gold. It’s just low consciousness stuff. If woman are that way, let them. Don’t think they ‘win’ by doing that. They still think money makes them happy, so they’re stuck in unhappiness forever. So woman in those scenarios are actually suffering as much as men. It makes me a bit sick how ‘all woman’ are portrayed like that sometimes. It’s such a gross generalisation. The internet can really screw up your view on the opposite sex a lot. Be careful with that. Go by your experience. Look around you. It’s probably less common than they make you believe. You can paint the feminine negative just as much as you can the masculine. But there’s healthy sides to both dynamics too. Also, I think woman are looking for men that are slightly more confident than they are. And usually, if you’re confident, there shouldn’t be a huge problem making enough money to provide for your living situation. Having no direction in life (like watching TV all day or smith) is really a turn off. Woman want to feel that you have a sense of purpose in your life. And maybe having a lot of money is signalling to woman that, at least superficially, they’re not losers. They ‘accomplished’ something. The only way they can be there for her is through money or physical safety. Which isn’t all there is but if you look at most men out there, they don’t know how to make a woman feel safe in any way. So it’s better than nothing. Honestly, there’s just not a lot of great men out there. So why not settle for someone that at least has some money? I was in a situation once where I could have easily exploited a pretty rich guy. But if you have any level of self awareness you immediately notice how icky it feels, how it’s just not the right thing to do and how it’s gonna make everyone unhappy. Consciousness prevents you to build up a future on a lie like that. You could never justify it. Raise your consciousness. Nothing else to do. To wok around this constant fear requires a lot from woman. That doesn’t mean that you have to be completely able to provide everything yourself, but enough to not come from a place of fear because you think you won’t make it. The key (for men and woman) is to be content on your own, so you only have love to give when you interact with others, not needs to be fulfilled. And you can act out of love and playfulness, not scarcity, discovering more of yourself by being with someone else, playing that game of masculine and feminine. As a rule of thumb: You’ll attract woman on roughly the same level of awareness that you have. Don’t focus on woman too much. Focus on your purpose. It will all happen organically the moment you let go.
  3. @ivankiss Hmm… The old discussion on what’s true vs. what’s most helpful for people. Such a difficult one. I’d think it’s not misleading but rather a case of ‘Not the right dose - Not the right time’. Leo’s mission seems to be finding Truth at all costs. He said recently that he cares more about that than someone’s personal awakening. There’s no way his teachings can be suited for everyone’s path anyway. Way too many followers. I’d say it’s up to the people listening to not get lost in too advanced theory without practice. Or ignoring their wounds. That’s really the biggest trap. But what can he do but warn people about it? Do you want a gentle hand helping you to find out what’s true for yourself? Or do you just want to know up front? I’d argue Leo teaches both. But his audience is pretty ‘rationally’ minded and masculine so they appreciate his straight forwardness. Some people are just not up for loving and ‘up-for-interpretation’ - teachings of other people. I love that. But I’m also a woman;-) Also depends on your personality a lot I guess. Leo’s a thinker (MBTI) so his approach might seem cold to feelers. What’s the ultimate goal? No goal? Understanding? Happiness? Peace? One step up? Seeing all the steps? I don’t know. I like to think that in the end it’ all the same. But I don’t know. "All was revealed. All in good time."
  4. The distance of forever
  5. "Your relationship with God is the same as your relationship with the sun. If you hid from the sun for years and then chose to come out of your darkness, the sun would still be shining as if you had never left. You don’t need to apologise. You just pick your head up and look at the sun." - Michael A. Singer
  6. @Shir Sounds like you’re not up for a loose relationship but that’s what he wants at the moment. Blaming him for not agreeing to your terms isn’t really fair, you’re simply not compatible. No right or wrong in it. I know us woman can get very emotional over these things but you have to take your emotions out for a minute to see this. You’re making up a very painful situation that has no possibility of turning out well. (At least not at the moment) You can’t expect him to put up with your emotional mess and be there for you if you’re not really together. That’s an exhausting thing to do for a man and he’s only gonna do it if he A) commits to you fully and B) even understands what woman need in these situations. If that’s not the case, you’re never gonna be satisfied with his effort. You want to feel good, and to do so you need exclusivity. He needs to explore being unbound for a while. It’s just not a match. Put it on the table and move on. There’s plenty of good men out there;-) Also, use the time alone to work on your jealousy, that seems pretty painful. What are you really afraid of?
  7. Pour out what keeps your mind busy that day 3 things to do today that will bring you closer to your goals 3 things you're grateful for
  8. I used headspace daily for a year at this point so I thought it would be a good time to write a review. Overall I loved it and can highly recommend it, especially for beginners. They cover mostly mindfulness meditations with body scans and occasional visualisations. Everything’s very well explained with little animations. The upsides: Very non - dogmatic and gentle Good build up on the techniques from the very basics to advanced Great variety of courses (sleep, anxiety, mindful eating, acceptance, prioritisation, relationships, kindness, transforming anger, etc.) New little ‘insight’ everyday Great overview on your progress That British accent;-) Only downside: All courses and daily meditations are max. 20 minutes. If you want more than that you can do a classic guided or semi- guided meditation but that’s the same everyday then, so not really worth paying for imo. Definitely get it if: You’re new to mediation and you wanna learn the basics You struggle to keep a regular mediation habit You want specific insights/ new perspectives on some of the topics mentioned above) A membership costs 95 € / year or 12 € /month. Anyway, if you’re thinking about it I’d say download the app and try the first 10 days for free. It will teach you the basics of meditation and you can see if you resonate with the overall approach of the app. Have a great day:-)
  9. I started this journal when I reached an all-time low. It might end up being mostly music here. (7/10/19) Everyone gone. Now there’s just me. “My look My love My God They came from Pain” Nowhere to turn. My mind a mess. I’m in the middle of a car crash of thoughts in my head. Nowhere to start. Nowhere to go. I don’t even want to curl up in a ball. There’s just nothing now. “This too shall pass.” Yet every time I’m ‘here’ I could convince myself that this is the only true state there is. Nothingness. Here I am again. Like an old friend. It’s bittersweet. It’s not even sad. It’s nothing. Does anything ever even change? Ground zero. Except it’s not. I can’t move. I can’t go to bed. I can’t cry. So I write. So I start. Again.
  10. Love is love's mystique
  11. @How to be wise I never claimed I did All I was saying is that it went away for some time. I never actually had any problems with my sex drive, it's just whatever for me, I go with the flow and I don't spend much time thinking about it. I'm with @enderx7 on this one, I think we all have different sticking points. Deep rooted stuff that shows itself in different forms but really, the forms are just the forms. There's probably more sameness than difference when it comes to this. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling, I wish you much strength! @Adam M Thanks for your kind words. It's not an actual problem on the outside, I eat a pretty clean and healthy diet. The problem is obsessive thinking and judging and making myself feel terrible about the smallest things. It's not about discipline at this point, it's about letting go. Don't know if that makes any sense. Working on it though. Can't wait to not spend so much mental energy on myself. It's exhausting
  12. @TrynaBeTurquoise I do but very rarely, and then from my parents chickens. I don't really want to purchase animal products where I don't know where they're coming from. Maybe I'll try the oatmeal thing once I have my own chickens Thanks anyway! @pluto Didn't know the iodine thing. I'll look it up. Thanks a lot
  13. @pluto maybe that's true, I just know that I feel a lot more stable energy throughout the day eating a good amount of protein and fat. Woman need more fat too to maintain healthy periods. When I was eating high carb I had to eat every 2 hours and all the raw food gave me so much energy that I didn't know what to do with it anymore. So I quit that for now @Shiva thanks! I actually already knew most of that. Have you read 'How not to die'? You sure sound a lot like Doctor Greger Good stuff! I also love all the protein sources you mentioned, I have no problem making yummie recipes for lunch and dinner, my breakfast just seems to be very unvaried lately. @TrynaBeTurquoise thanks, I don't eat eggs though @Michael569 Great, I didn't know that. I always make sure I buy organic so I think it shouldn't be in issue. No recommendations for good protein powder anyone?
  14. If anyone ever comes back to this thread: A lot has changed since I wrote this post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM1sUG7sRUI This video explains so much of my life. I like to leave no traces, ever. Maybe it resonates with anyone that feels the same way. But personality type is not an excuse. You can move beyond that, always. The cost of inaction is way too high. I’m never gonna achieve anything great if I constantly erase everything and hope no one sees me. I risk living a mediocre life, limiting my creativity and potentially holding back things that could help others. Jesus, I hated you so much for this comment. It was my first post on here and I almost wanted to quit again and blow it all up. (I’m sorry - don’t take it personally. I'm actually laughing right now about how upset I was) I’m glad I stayed, I learned a lot on here. The thing is, you’re right. Working lots around fear lately (with help of Leo’s videos) made me realise how hyper focused I am on myself. It’s all about me. Lots more work to do. It’s good to look back on a post like this and see how far I’ve come. I was like a scared kitten when I wrote this post. So much is changing all the time… Feels so good. In a way, just being posting on this forum is great exposure therapy. I have to overcome myself again and again. Note to self: Keep going.
  15. The end of Leos' video about fear made me think of this quote that I wanted to share with you: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson