blankisomeone

Found em thanks

Did it get taken down?

Thanks

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I wanna know too

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...then doesn't that point to something deeper about the structure of reality? As in, we can't escape it because it is an aspect of Truth? Like we're all unified, so that's why conformity is a thing. So why try to transcend something that's true?

How do I awaken? is it a gradual process or does it happen at one fell swoop?

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's my main issue, I don't feel CAPABLE of doing things. Even when I do do things, it feels like big effort and drudgery and so I PUSH through it. That doesn't feel like being truly capable, idk

This sounds correct to me

These are good questions. Thanks. I'll think about them. I think normally I tend towards being slightly more ambitious than average which isn't perhaps saying much. Just struggling and fearful atm. Been feeling a lot of anxiety. Trying to just get up out of bed and face the day, as thinking too much before acting amps up anxiety even more. When I look into my future I cannot see a clear way out of my situation. If feels like the same path will continue forever. So I've been trying to drop thinking too much about the future. Sometimes I feel suicidal and the furthest into the future I can bear to think about is 10 minutes. I'm not feeling suicidal at the moment. It's been a week or two since my last intense feelings. I'm slowly building more trust with my coworkers and more opportunities for having fun with them are coming up. Today I had my first real laugh with them which felt really nice and made me feel a bit more safe. I guess if we're able to build a better social atmosphere we'll be able to tolerate keeping the job for a bit longer. But yeah anyways, just really trying to get my anxiety levels down and I think a better income would help me a bit. I've been saving up and filled out spreadsheets with my expenses. Quite sad to look at Lol. But Joshe's questions sound helpful and I'll think about them. And yeah I guess thinking about what my "passion" is just literally doesn't work when I'm depressed. "Having a deep passion" sounds ridiculous when you've been feeling chronically depressed and anxious and all you need is a decent survival strategy for some breathing room. I'm tired

I'm headed to work right now at the grocery store after 2 days off. I can already feel the HEAT and ATTACKS of demands from customers and bosses coming from every direction. This is making me want to kill myself. But let's go. I literally want a life of ease and comfort and time to think and study and contemplate life deeply (from a distance). I do not want my skin in the game

I think he's talking to me. We never know who he's talking to