andyjohnsonman

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About andyjohnsonman

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    Leeds, UK
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  1. Tonight i smoked weed for the first time in a year. After taking magic mushrooms i felt smoking would be fine. Today also coincided with me refreshing my kriya yoga practice which i feel gave me more mindfulness throughout the day. I know I am more present when i can feel my breathing in every day to day activities. I got very stoned and became aware of my thoughts and began to ask what I am. It became completely clear to me that I am not my thoughts and that I am the awareness. I became aware of that thought too which led to my ego panicking and my heart pounding extremely fast like it was under existential threat. My ego told me to get a grip on reality and that this investigation is too dangerous. It felt like there were deeper levels to self enquiry and every layer has an ego trap which can be transcended and the deeper you go the more dangerous it becomes for survival. Is this just more fairytale? Has this ever happened to anyone before and what exactly does it mean? Was I close to transcending the self, was i deluded?, did i just freak out from smoking too much? Was it ego backlash from restarting kriya yoga?
  2. Im in west yorkshire, England give me a shout if you wanna do some mushrooms my batch is just about complete
  3. It's so fascinating to see how he saw it as dying and being reborn. How he sees his life as new chapters in a book and doesn't even want to exercise because of it reminds him of the old person. From shadow perspective wouldn't that mean he's not integrated his shadow (his old ego) as he looks at it with shame and disgust?
  4. I'm watching Joe Rogan podcast Live now with Mike Tyson. He is talking about how when he took 5MEO DMT that was his catalyst to look at life differently and he felt reborn.
  5. Can someone post a link of TJ's video or tell me who he is as every time I search on youtube to find this person a video comes up with 233 views I'm guessing that cant be the person who is causing such a stir?
  6. who is TJ?
  7. I am not enlightened and am at a stage where I am questioning both realism and idealism. I meditate daily and can have spells of no thought but the sense of a self behind the head remains. At my current stage how important is it to have "faith in "absolute truth"? I think this can easily be taken as a religion/dogma and I include enlightenment with this where you are looking for a solution to make all your problems go away and that maybe there is no transcendent reality. I am however open to it but still think it's important not to take it on as a dogma until it is experienced (if it can be). I am however aware that faith can be important but at the same time isn't it possible that faith and belief can be mutually exclusive and therefore when you do something like psychedelics the belief in absolute truth shapes your trip to believing in this?
  8. I am not enlightened and am at a stage where I am questioning both realism and idealism. I meditate daily and can have spells of no thought but the sense of a self behind the head remains. At my current stage how important is it to have "faith in "absolute truth"? I think this can easily be taken as a religion/dogma and I include enlightenment with this where you are looking for a solution to make all your problems go away and that maybe there is no transcendent reality. I am however open to it but still think it's important not to take it on as a dogma until it is experienced (if it can be). I am however aware that faith can be important but at the same time isn't it possible that faith and belief can be mutually exclusive and therefore when you do something like psychedelics the belief in absolute truth shapes your trip to believing in this?
  9. When you feel yourself close to falling asleep breath really deeply and heavily in and out, also you can try tensing your muscles for a few seconds and releasing this helps. Another method is when you feel like your are starting to go, go to the bathroom and throw water over your face.
  10. I found this very useful with lots of insights, worth checking out.
  11. What would you say this womens issues are? A lack of self reflection? A lack of different perspectives? Massive ego? Or all of the above. I feel this is the opposite of self actualisation. If i feel triggered by this video does that mean i still have work to do? If so what?
  12. What stage of spiral dynamics do you think yuval noah harari is at? I just finished his book 21 lessons from the 21st century and i would put him at stage yellow. Would you agree?
  13. I really enjoyed that thread thanks for the giggles