Lynnel

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  1. @Newbie Your boyfriend is way too controlling - break up worthy. This is a horrible relationship to be in. I mean, if you can't even choose what you wear, what about other life decisions ? Have you thought about this ? Get professionnal help, study your family system, do some self-actualization, stay away from dating for a while, be very watchful of abuse and once you're strong enough break up and run run and run. And don't feel guilty. Such control is not a form of love. My opinion may change depending on where you live how controlling your culture is, how old you are, etc. But if you're in your twenties in Europe/US => RUN.
  2. Yeah that's BS. There is one healthy component in red wine which comes from red grappes and gives them that vibrant colour. Aside from that Dr. Greger has proven wine doesn't help in any way (too lazy to link the video). In short, there is a lot of lobbying arround alcohol because you earn a LOT of money and you should do without. Otherwise I believe like once or twice a month will do no permanent damage. Just don't abuse it.
  3. Travel Report : India Here are all the lessons I learned about myself, my self-development journey and self-actualization during my 3 week trip to India. I am gonna be extremely transparent and honest because I believe that way I can get nice tips and advice from you guys Foreword : travel is so underrated. As with everything if used right it can be amazing. The danger of technology and the use of instagram. From the very start I had the desire to have cool instagram account - to be seen cool etc, to have a great image to show to the world, be it for girls or future employers, viewing this in a sense as self-marketing. So I did it. And I started also following other people, and at some point I got a bit lost into posting stories of everything I visited, taking nice pictures of me, etc and I was even hurt when I followed people who didn't follow me back. At this point, a red light went flashing and I realized that there was a lesson to learn there. I'm still trying to look interesting, to be interesting, doing something interesting, such as visiting India, and kinda doing this for the validation. Sometimes I didn't even care about what I was visiting, just wondering if it would make good pictures. I realized I really need to do something about this approval thing, not trying to manifest some synthetic self-esteem by doing something or trying to look cool which will never work. Plus, I'm not putting myself out there really, just an image of me. You're not interacting with real people when using instagram but with some persona's. You're not facing real people and therefore there cannot be any real interaction. In short I still need to work deeply on the need to look interesting/cool and not feeling interesting or attractive. Your daily life is put into perspective and it's not beautiful. Far from it. I had a perpective about my very rigid routine, with very strict unbreakable almost neurotic rules which cannot work in the long term. While traveling your standard life is put into perspective and you can really look at it with a outsider perspective, if the culture shock is strong enough. You really need to TRAVEL not just chill at the beach : you must have an environment that forces you to lead a very different life and do/think very differently. This gives you a outsider look at your thought patterns, your life, and well what I saw wasn't very great to look at. I spend way too much time doing nothing in a day, basically distracting myself or coping and then for the rest of the day doing my routine of yoga,meditation, writing. On the surface since I have like 4 daily habits and 1 weekly one it may seem I'm doing a lot but I am really not. I was very unhappy about myself and still am and taking a hard hard look at myself well I was distracting myself way too much. That meant like 80 hours of youtube per month. Trown away. So I would spend 1 hour of yoga, watch youtube while eating for like 2 hours with a feeling of dread after doing my yoga well because it's annoying and not pleasurable by itself. Same for meditation although it's very nice sometimes. Because I use willpower to do it I feel exhausted really fast after that and spend the rest of the day, unless I have a deadline doing nothing, aside writing for one hour and the rest is lost in shambles. Which is horrendous and horrible. I mean I could do so so so so so much better. Several days I've been doing shamanic breathing on top and after that hell I have no motivation, no drive, nothing left. I really have no motivation, I'm not like inspired. My life purpose is a chore more than anything. Like seriously everyone is like yeah it's gonna be great and amazing life purpose you should love it - yeah sure being complete garbage is very pleasurable and training yourself to get slowly better so so fucking nice. Really ? Enjoying life ? Sometimes I believe life isn't to be enjoyed until later but only suffered first. Either way I'm getting off topic a bit. I clearly lack drive and I'm not like working around the clock for something I'm passionate about because I spend too much time coping with stress I guess ? Or something else ? Mental blocks ? Lack of willpower ? It's annoying either way. I hate struggling so much for my life purpose and the lack of drive creativity and emotions which is very apparent in me is rage inducing. Like the amount of things you have to do to be successful is simply astonishing. So I don't wanna dick arround. And it was a very harsh realization that like hold on my life is not working out. Clearly not the way I want it. There is a lot of confusion going on too ! On the same note there is a lot of confusion because I have a lot, books, videos, opinions, and I am sometimes lost and unsure how to diagnose myself. MOre psychedelics ? More meditation ? This exercise ? Hypnosis to release blocks ? There are SO many causes for any single event and situation in your life diagnosing it is quite complicated. Also I have intense anxiety about my future since I wanna simply become a writer and I don't wanna work for someone full time. But I will soon have to find a job and also I have a Phd option I am thinking about. But 4 years while I clearly know I should be doing something else with my life ? Well I'm quite stuck at my life purpose too and I don't even know why. Oh Actually I do. Usually, there is a finished product, such as a manga chapter, one painting which can be contained in one's mind. But one book ? It's impossible : there are infinite variations and possibilities and you have to carve out a finished product out of it ? As the french saying goes, choosing is renouncing I guess ? But a novel is far too large to take in at once. You can have one painting and hold the whole painitng in your mind. You can design a manga ark and then split it into chapters and you're good to go. A Novel and a great one ? No fucking way. I am also extermely frustrated with my incompetence and all this suffering, because I keep thinking I should have done several novels and be on my way to an amazing career already. Feeling like I'm late in life is a very suffering-inducing feeling. Thus, distractions ! A lot of them. And distraction are something that once it dissapears from your life, you do not miss it - and your life doesn't change. Like I didn't have wifi, and not watching youtube didn't make my life worse : it made it better. So distractions suck a lot. Be it kongregate, facebook chatting, or youtube, and even porn. About that. Guess what ? Lots of problems with sexuality too. I clearly have a addiction to porn and I'm sexualy frustrated, because I tend to masturbate on hot girls from instagram which I dream about banging. Amazing. So yeah that's a huge problem and I do not have enough willpower to do any nofap. So not using porn and fapping way way less gave me a perspective on how addicted I am to that. Porn felt very shallow for a moment. I also read "fear of life" by Alexander Lowden which a goldmine. And he talks about the fact that a lot of problems stem from sexuality and oedipus complex. Like sexuality is extremely important in a human being and I need to handle it better, talk more about it, explore it more, like dive deep into those issues there. Like I wanna undestand my fetishes, why I like them, stop being frustrated all the time and feel more alive. I'll write about this book separately but it is freaking amazing. I'll have to do plenty of body work for that. What I learned about dating from indian shopkeepers. Indian people are often quite poor (sorry - not sorry) and extremely pushy. The tuktuk drivers and shopkeepers have no shame and scamming tourists is part of the culture in India, you are basically not a person here - just a walking source of money. So, for instance, if you walk down Jaipur Bazaar, you will get harassed like freaking hell. And everyone talking to you and saying my friend - is not your fucking friend of course but just wants your money. So after having that happen 50 times a day, I wondered, wait, is that what women feel like when they are approached for sex ? I mean they are just on their way and then some random guys come up with unsillicited shit they don't need and are not attracted to. And it gets annoying very fast. The third day I learned how to say "no" in Hindi and would shout it at anyone even blinking at me. So the shopkeeper analogy is that women here are most likely as harassed as tourists are in india by Indian merchants - they want money the same way here guys want sex : in a needy, pushy way which is not attractive. And even if you are not pushy or even if you're actually nice girls will ignore you immediately because the 1000 of guys before were complete douches. This really allowed me to understand how women must sometimes feel in our society and it saddens me a little bit. Also, you can feel people's intention by the way they look at you. You can see they are shocked, interested, reactive, or expecting a selfie with their phones out. In the same way, based on how you behave and on very subtle signs, girls can immediately see who you are and where you stand in life. Cold reading is easy once you have a lot of experience ! That was a revelation for sure ! Final words I'm not sure if I have said everything but I ranted long enough and in short I learned a lot. This perspective was extremely precious and I feel like I've grown a lot by interacting with all the people, paysages and monument. Travel if used correctly, can be a great source of growth. It's always a source of escape and discovery and I urge you to enjoy it If you have any practical tips (I'm clearly orange !) to get some of my shit together I'll be happy to have any feedback !
  4. @Paradoxisabichoflive According to Vadim Zeland, when you sleep your soul wanders in the infromation fields where all possible reality exists and it simply is never materialized. So you're exploring infinite realities which are as real as the one you're in except the fact they are not materialized.
  5. I do not give myself rewards per se, but what I do like reading thinking working on my skills is rewarding by itself. It's taking pleasure in doing something rather than using something for pleasure. There is no reason you shouldn't feel good by default aside from lots of trauma and neurosis you have to process. You shouldn't seek to feel good by giving yourself stimulating rewards - it is not a long term high end solution. By that I mean it's at least healthier than cornflakes pancakes and other junk food with processed sugar. Of course overall it is not healthy at all. But most of the vegan diet which is weird variations of sugary fruits with more weat and more sugar is way worse than plain brown bread for instance.
  6. @pluto I understand, I'm still not a huge lover of carbs because they tend to have way less of a nutritional value and spike your blood sugar too much which may lead to psychological addiction Also while I natural sugar isnt bad it may still be as addictive as the processed one. Otherwise yeah variety is good and I'll be experimenting with more soups/recipe ideas in the future. @MM1988 If it was "real" diarhea as in only liquid colored with poop it's unrelated. Be sure to wash and peel your vegetables properly and also use bottled clean water and not sink water. Otherwise since it is very easy to digest it will naturally speed up your metabolism and it is known that eating a lot of vegetables and fruit gives you the shits. If you dont shit daily you are technically constipated so it's a good thing ! Your body will get used to faster stools. You can eat banana's or fruit with similar effects to balance it out ! Enjoy hehe
  7. I like sweet patatoes on the side but if you eat this daily that's way too much carbs and sugar to be truly healthy imho. Still a great option if you're a newbee starting from scratch.
  8. It will do a LOT. Poison is poison no matter how much => do not trust yourself to cut angles ! Because before you know you're gonna cut a LOT of angles. I know for instance I can add a bit of spicy sauce with 0.5 % sugar content even when I'm avoiding artificial sugar all together, BUT I do it consciously and I still will remplace it at some point. Eating some junk will start a feedback cycle with your gut which will want more junk etc. You don't deserve shit. Sorry. I mean you had a bad day so you're gonna damage yourself even more by adding bad stuff into your body ? And you're gonna start an addicting cycle of coping with your emotions with eating junk food ? That's not a way to go. Vegetables are not disgusting. It's your gut flora talking. Cleanse your gut flora with a very strict diet and you will feel way better. You have no idea how much of a brain fog + dirty high you're hving by eating junk food. You can still eat a lot of average healthy foods, such as honey, full bread, yoghurt if you need time to adapt. Average ++ foods such as barbecue or steak can be amazing too. Steamed vegetables can taste amazing too. Also, you can cook AMAZING and very tasty recipes even with vegetables. And you're gonna feel way better because you will derive psychological pleasure for knowing you are eating healthy. A poor diet is not gonna fly for this work. It's just not. + Life is not about food ! Take pleasure elsewhere. This is the most key compotent. It's better to NOT enjoy your food and have psychological pleasure beacuse you know you're eating healthy than actually enjoying food. You should not enjoy your food ! I mean you shouldn't hate it but there is too much marketing and obsession with food tasting good above it being healthy. Focus on the food being healthy. Don't be a domesticated animal Do a candida detox and you should feel way cleaner and better if you don't know where to start.
  9. So I did two 30 minutes sessions, today and yesterday, and I tried two things : Holding my breath after the 30 minutes for 2-3 minutes AND sometimes breathing faster. Good lord. It's insane what this technique does if you breath faster like they recommend in the video. Leo specifically said to pace ourselves but I feel like I can get better results if I breath on a 1 second exhale/ 1 second inhqle thing, maybe because those are very deep breaths and prana accumulates faster. And I do feel like this whole technique is about pumping prana into your body. So I tried this method today, and breathing deeply and sometimes a bit faster, after 25 minutes I felt intense energy/shakiness in my arms and my feet. I had to stop at 28 minutes because I became afraid since I couldn't move my fingers anymore. I had crazy ass dreams after yesterday's session and I felt sleepy during my meditation today so I guess this technique worked wonders. TLDR : if this technique is not working for you try breathing a bit faster ! (but be freaking careful !).
  10. Great, thank you for taking your time to answer seriously ! I'm a very down to earth person sometimes : so for instance how I would view healing is being able to see color energies in a body, and some other color energies emanating from my hand. Thus the healing would be something like me being able to condense golden energy colour in my hands and then approaching and destroying dark energy in someone's body. I'm not down to earth, I meant I need to have some very consistent feedback for my actions. I agree about touching but...how can I make sure it's real ? For instance, while reading the guy who wrote conversations with god, he mentionned everyone could have conversations with him. So I tried. And I always wondered, since it's my mind answering, is it my imagination or is it just real ? Same for telepathy ? How do you actually distinguish someone else talking to your mind or your mind just fucking with itself and imagining it ? See ? I'll be ready to believe you if you tell me more details about those beings. I've gotten very open minded recently You can always just shoot me a PM if you don't wanna talk about this publically. I'll be very happy to learn more about healing techniques etc. What are those pendulums you're talking about ? Are those the same than in Transurfing ? (I doubt it )
  11. Introduction So I've been eating Leo soup for more than a year as of now and I've tried at least 20 different variations of it and today I wish to introduce a very solid version I am happy with. Just go to Newest recipe to skip all the fluff. Old soup drawbacks Basically lots about it was unefficient : Vegetables take a lot of space so the soup wasn't nutrient dense enough and you would get hungrier faster or you wouldn't have enough soup to last a whole week. The flavour wasn't homogenous => you either had salty spiced water and then cooked vegetables + It relied heavily on you having a nice broth which isn't easy to come by. You had to chew => can get very time consuming if you have to chew a lot (yes, I'm ALL about efficiency) since you're chewing big portions of soup. You had to spend a lot of time cutting vegetables. This was solved easily by blending all the ingredients together but more about that in the cooking process. Some other points : It was best to use vegetables in the soup that you were not eating for dinner for instance as to get enough variety. Way too much salt : while himalayan salt may be good for you, there is quite enough salt in your broth already and it's best to avoid salt when possible because you have more than enough of it most of the time. It's best to add things that otherwise are annoying to cook and can have nice benefits when consummed daily. Newest soup recipe Ingredients : 4 large or 5 medium sized tomatoes 1/2 kg of carrots ( or 10 medium sized carrots) a full celery 4 red paprika peppers and 1 yellow paprika paper Medium sized cauliflower from 80 to 110 gr of red/coral lentils 200 gr of spinach (I yet need to add more like 500 gr to see how well it blend in but it doesn't seem to change the taste even so it's a nice bonus) Spices : One large cup of olive oil 3-4 teaspoons of curcuma 3-4 teaspons of white pepper 2-3 teaspoons of garlic powder Lemon juice from three huge lemons Two cubes of organic broth ( mine is without palm oil) (!) Don't use fucking Knorr for this it's full of chemicals ! + Avoid any excess sugar in it too ! Preparation : Wash all of your vegetables Cut your peppers and carrots and put them in the cooking pot with some water and as soon as they soften => blend them using something like on the left of the image, it allows you to blend everything in the cooking pot itself ! Add all the other ingredients in w/e order (cut them to allow them to blend perfectly) and blend the shit out of them until the whole soup becomes homogenous. Bring it to a boil and let it simmer on a low/medium heat for 30 minutes Profit. Points of attention : Do not add too much lentils because they release way more of themselves (lol) since they are blended => you need to keep this liquid and not mushy. This is a soup. Too little is better than too much in this case ! You can easily add some bay leaves after you finished blending and then removing them once you're done cooking => don't have to go finishing for them thinking about not eating one like in the old soup You will need to cut some vegetables, like the cauliflower in very small pieces so it blends easier. Fore other vegetables, like the tomatoes, just cutting them in half is totaly fine. If you feel like the oil tends to stay on top => blend some more ! If you can, use only organic produce and spices + organic cold pressed olive oil. This soup is 100 % vegan/vegetarian. In europe, the average cost of a daily portion of this soup for lunch would cost you arround 3 euros to make. Other suggestions/future upgrades : I'll think maybe about adding something like reishi mushrooms or other spices or maybe even velvet beans. I'm against using any other type of oil aside from coconut if you like the flavour. I'm against beetroot because it has too much sugar, broccoli because it doesn't seem to fit in as well while blended (ideally, you would have like 2-3 rotation of amazing soup recipes optimized for your needs) and greeen beans since they don't blend in quite well. I'm against using coconut milk because either you have to waste a lot of time making it OR it adds more chemicals while the soup is almost 100 % clean and cheap. I'm against using sweet potatoes, rice, etc as you can just eat them on the side for dinner and I feel it's best to keep this as organic as possible without any carbs ! Get the carbs elsewhere. Cheers ! Suggestions/tips/idea appreciated !
  12. Maybe the feminism supported by educated people like Emma Watson. But hordes of women who are poorly educated, overweight and ashamed by it, bitter and feeling persecuted by men ? Who will go to any length to destroy pick up artists and even damage them as much as possible ? E.g. The femenist girl almost killing RSD Max after the Julien scandal. You cannot expect a low consciousness horde which want more privileges because it has been persecuted before to be at green, right ? Any populist mouvement by itself is not high consciousness and is good only for destroying things and making revolutions => red (?). Most women who are highly interested into feminism are interested for their own sake, they care only about more right and for instance do not care for case when men are abused or exploited by women. (For instance using your good looks to get drinks, etc.). They do not have a green holistic perspective.
  13. @Elisabeth Great experience ! Usually having support does help you letting go of some of your barriersю My most recent report : - I did 45 minutes yesterday : did feel some release and was quite sad at a point but overall not a too rocky experience. I had very vivid dreams after. - Today, I did 60 minutes : I feel like it's paying off. I feel a lot of repressed sadness at the moment, shit does come up so you can integrate it. I'll stick to 60 minutes because it can get quite intense and I don't wanna overstrain. I'll relax for a while. I can't imagine what a full week of 60 minutes daily would do. I wouldn't recommend it honestly unless you have a lot of yoga and other practices under your belt. Like everything this technique is not magic but if done enough it feels quite powerfull and can yield good results. Emotionnal integration always takes time because any permanent progress is usually slow. Which is good since permanent progress is what we're striving for here. I'll try some more 60 minutes sessions after I explore more psychedelics and then maybe build up to 90 minute sessions. You gotta try it to know how amazing it can get, but I feel like a full week or even two week bootcamp with 60 minutes of breathwork daily is gonna be incredible.
  14. I feel like I am a bit stuck up on my voice and I never talk loudly enough so for instance during my old pick up days girls wouldn't hear me. I'm gonna start toastmasters quite soon and I'm thinking about getting some singing or vocal coaching lessons to really have a nice voice and not being afraid to talk out loud and being heard by people, to handle all those social pressure aspects. In general I feel like it's a very nice skill to have, be it for dating or getting a job, leadership, etc. Does anyone have any tips, videos, books to recommend to handle this ?
  15. I've recently bought the rhodiola supplement by solgar and I'm wondering how to take it. How often, how much, whether to cycle or not. If anyone has any experience with this herb I would appreciate any tips and advice. Cheers !