Lynnel

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About Lynnel

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  1. Eggs - even pastured are a bad idea because they raise your cholesterol when really frequent
  2. You too using Freud's metaphor ? Future therapist ?
  3. So basically a form of conditionnal love - and because love is the most essential thing - you grow up believing that everything is conditionnal, because even if love is percieved as conditionnal while it is most essential everything else must also be related to merit. But since you had to logical ideas to come up for why you didn't deserve love (and you extrapolated the fact you didn't deserve love because you didn't have it - there would be no reason otherwise not to : along the lines of if I don't get love it must mean there is a problem with me/I'm bad) - because being abandonned is unrelated to you - you assimilated unworthyness - aka you were abandonned because of you and not because of something else you couldn't concieve as a child yet. This would then setup a dynamic where you have to earn everything - meaning that everything and all is conditionnal and of course since you can't even get loved for who you are which is totaly basic and essential and you even couldn't "deserve" that well who are you gonna deserve anything else ? If you're so bad you didn't meet conditions for the most important life necessity well that's pretty clear you're never gonna feel good enough about meeting the "conditions" for having/deserving anything else. Sometimes I wonder whether I would have been a very good therapist @Loreena Thank you I free associated a solution for my problem based on what you said
  4. I've been thinking about it : I guess if there is no hope then I'm going to be stuck in dispair. I needed hope all this time to tell myself : it's okay, if I'm doing enough dispair is gonna eventually dissappear and dissolve by iteself, if I change enough things/situations/, if I get enough spiritual/inner progress, it's gonna fade. It wasn't about being complete but about getting better I know there is no moment where I'm gonna be like : okay guys we're done everything is perfect Everything simply is and there is nothing to do about it. From this perspective indeed, hope sounds almost retarded : it's like I'm running away from a dog and I'm hoping it doesn't catch me - while he already has his teeth in my leg and is running alongside with me..and i'm HOPING SOMEDAY - SOMEHOW - if I run fast enough, I'll be able to outrun it and not suffer from it anymore Yeah I'm gonna run towards and not away and I'm pretty sure I can handle it. I'll develop trust and not mindless/blind hope. I believe "I'm strong enough" to face dispair Thank you !
  5. Most likely but they don't seem related to exactly this problem So...I don't know. If you could tell me the exact childhood issues related to this - that would be very nice. I agree with the rest, and thank you, but about : I'm annoying at the fact that the word merit is even present : I mean does a baby merit it's mother ? Whatever you have/desire/will have you totaly deserve because there is no other reality than this. Merit doesn't make any sense and still my mind is operated by it partially. Quite annoying. @Toby Thank you ! @Bodhi123 : already read it and it didn't help much
  6. To some extent I feel that I don't deserve the great things in life and I have no idea where this issue could be coming from. I feel like you need merit to have what you have and there needs to be merit otherwise you don't deserve those things, but the problem is I never feel enough merit to actually deserve them. Is it confidence ? A bad learned pattern ? Childhood issues ? Any imput would be appreciated
  7. It does appear that this topic has gone to crap. Hilarious. Either way : @Life Coach thank you. And @see_on_see it wasn't actually hopelessness, it was dispair. Dispair is a more accurate word. Usually I'm quite okay with anything, i believe in progress, myself, and I know I can take the control and change my life, and I've done it many times. BUT when I feel dispair, which is a deep feeling I'm running away from, it all goes away. So there is this shadow of dispair lurking arround and I don't know how to feel/handle it so it disappears.
  8. I'm wondering how do you guys handle hopelesness ? This emotion hits me sometimes and it's absolute hell - because I'm used to always running away and everything I do is out of hope for a better future - hope/vision are my main fuels - hence I'm completely lost once a feeling of hopelessness hits me. It know it's tied to feeling powerless, and while I've done all the work about feeling a victim, how can you not feel powerless in a moment when you feel totaly hopeless ? Thank you !
  9. @quantumWhy would I need that ? I'm totaly healthy It was basically a picture of a journalist writing stuff - but he was also having a smoke. And I was wondering whether that would send the wrong message to my subconscious.
  10. @Peace and Love @Nahm I am not smoking and I have never smoked. But either way I won't add the picture since it's not 100% positive.
  11. NB : Leo you're free to remove this topic if you believe it goes against the rules but I guessed visionboards are such a huge thing it's not specific secret life purpose content. I have a generic question : should I put a figure smoking on the visionboard while doing some other passionate activity ? Will it program the bad habit of smoking in my subconscious or is it so small it's not relevant ? Also feel free to share your vision board ideas, would be really interesting to know what you guys put on there. Mine currently are : beautiful landscapes, paintings, bouddha, meditation, books, triskerion - symbol of completition/wisdom/etc in the celtic "mythology".
  12. @Old Soul Okay fine I'll read it when I go back to dating and then I'll write a short report. 300 pages shouldn't take too much time anyway.
  13. Exactly this. I know people are fan's of Corey Wayne on this forum which I believe is complete garbage - hence I didn't quote him. There are almost no books aside david deida who are really worth it. If it's so good I'd like you to state your results and the time frame in which you achieved them. Otherwise it's a pointless discussion.
  14. There aren't any. I'd rather recommend listening to video products/youtube video's such as Julien's PIMP
  15. @Baz You can pretty much ignore all that has been said before. If you wanna trascend your fear by cleansing all the crap in your mind (conditionning, etc. the list is very long) it's gonna take you several years of intense work and therapy. Honestly I'm not even sure it's possible. Either way, the only you have to do to handle it is just doing it. That's it. Just go and open. You don't need a sophisticated approach to run away into. Don't be like the guy on the other topic who needed very sophisticated advice, and after 3-4 month hasn't done shit