Lynnel

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  1. Ignore my advice all together then for your own sake. It's just gonna damage you pointlessly and you will lack experience to understand all the nuances either way. I mean you haven't even finished puberty yet ! You're honestly doing amazing even knowing about personnal development at 15. Go live your life and come back to this mental masturbatorium in 5-10 years Yeah don't overthink much and develop a skill you can farm up long term. In then years, at 25, you could have your life purpose on track by then. It's like one of the best things you can do at your stage. Spirituality ? Complex conscioussness ? MEH. Like really, master one domain of life with deliberate practice, go play dota 2 in the evening instead of mentally masturbating about consciousness on the forums and you'll be good ahah. Enjoy your life dude !
  2. Yes, I'm not saying to become a rampant douche and go destroy people's lives. What is commonly called "manipulation" is totaly "normal" such as in "you" trying to stay alive - and to a great extent everything you are doing is manipulation in a form or another to fulfill your needs. Manipulation is something very basic and commonplace. Manipulation being something extremely machiavellian when you destroy half of the world trying to get all the cash and all the girls and plot complexe scheme to outsmart all of your opponents mainly happens in movies. Calling manipulation "evil" is yet another blue thing because you have to be honest and hardworking, of course. Yes, being honest is actually great, being compassionate is extremely amazing. You get absolutely disgusted with anything which is also not benefiting others in the long run. But that has to come from an authentic place. Otherwise it will fly out of the window once you have a great opportunity to realize your egoic needs. In short : You can do pickup without manipulating such as in : avoid lying to girls to get laid faster and stupid shit like this / lacking integrity in general. You cannot avoid manipulation when interacting with other people and improving yourself (by motivating yourself to go out and becoming a better man). I mean self-development to some extent is you manipulating yourself to become better as a person so you can fulfill your needs (happiness, confidence, etc)
  3. Oh boy. Remember : the usual critique of pick up is simply stage blue conditioning. You know why pick up is found creepy ? Because in blue patriarcal societies women are treated as commodities. You're a strong man, you go to war, you have of this going for you - of course you can just fucking grab a girl and get her to marry you. Lord. From this perspective pick up looks as if you were training yourself to grab a piece of cheesecake on the table - of fucking course it sounds creepy as fuck. Don't be confused here : most society is still built on blue conditionning and very neurotic morals with repressed sexuality. Nonetheless some core value such as strong manhood have mostly detiriorated and have had trouble evolving into higher stages. Still, the conditionning is extremely intense : there is still a LOT of blue in your societies. Leo's critique of pick up is coming from a very high perspective which is most likely completely irrelevant for most of this forum. Skipping stages does not work because you're simply lying to yourself and you're gonna be miserable. No one nowadays want to get girls because it hurts to be rejected, basically you just find excuses to avoid pain : due to becoming a better man, figuring out your conditionning, etc. Everyone will just mentally masturbate about how this or that - and never get laid. Excuses are easy. Like oh my god my life would be actually so much worse if I got to experience sex with a model oh my god like horrible all my spiritual pursuits are doomed forever ! For god's sake : solve your basic needs. Most of people aren't even going to reach turquoise in their lifetimes so focus on getting to the next stage first and don't worry about advanced spiritual shit after. Leo should actually have warning's about that because he's so advanced it's actually impossible to really grasp from an average standpoint how advanced he actually is. Last thing, let me bloooow your mind : Oh no. You would LOVE it. Of course you would. Simply blue conditionning is stopping you. You would not be averse to the idea otherwise. When you evolve to higher stages you'll realize it's perfectly fine and you will choose not to do it out of compassion. Before compassion the whole morality gig is just a neurotic virus.
  4. Suffering without a way out to a greater life I guess ? For instance if someone would be stuck in guantanamo forever or being a poor british peasan dying for hunger he would simply meaninglessly suffer and then die off without ever getting the chance to experience some of the greatest things of life and not realizing that he will actually experience better lifetimes ? Like the fact of suffering and being in great physical/mental pain and being unable to make it stop and go after success and living an amazing impactful life (yeah lots of orange values here). So unescapable endless suffering and unability to make it stop ? Feeling like your life has been wasted and being able to do nothing about it ? Like if you were a prisonner of war being experimented on by the japanese, or simply killed of in a war camp, a witch burned alive, etc.
  5. So from the highest/absolute perspective everything is "fine" in the very end (I know the distinction doesn't hold at this level but anyway's) and I can have a direct realization of that ? Like in short no ego no problem ? Oh I'm not focused on enlightenment that's for sure. I'm griding my way to yellow. Enlightenment is a huge fish to fry I'm gonna care about only later it's not for my current level. Only some spirituality here and there. Thanks you for your help I appreciate that. Thank you for your words. I always felt like a old soul. Plans for this life time are getting a nobel prize, leaving a nice legacy behind and fucking off to another sweeter dimension Not to get too wrapped in the issue again but the "you" you're talking about was completely "fine" with this while the ego weren't ? Like the temporary ego existence will still be suffering which doesn't matter to you in the large scheme of thing but is gonna matter to the ego experiencing it ? I'm not trying to mentally masturbate but just reach a understanding where I can put the issue to rest until I work on enlightenment and solve it in my direct experience. Thanks
  6. @TheAvatarState So in short the only quote on quote "real" problem is created by my limited understanding of the issue ?
  7. So far in my understanding unless the ego becomes aware enough to see itself trough me (awareness) and thus I am being disidentified by it become more aware I believe I'm actually the ego. I can't see the practical difference between being the ego which is suffering and being the witnessing awareness behind the ego which is suffering without knowing I'm actually the awareness. Yes of course once the ego dies it doesn't "matter" anymore but still it's like living a bad completely realistic dream for a while. I can understand why everyone is so focused on becoming enlightened but I can't grasp why the hell would "I" choose to experience a endless realistic sequences of nightmares. I can grasp on a logical level that it's not gonna happen to me identified as my current self but to the awareness behind it but still it doesn't soothe me enough x)
  8. @Serotoninluv Thanks ! At least I'm happy I'm not the only one having this problem. I know it's purely something happening in my mind and not in actuality but still it bugs me down a fair bit. I can't possibly accept a mindset of eternal suffering and possibly horrible lifetimes. I really wished I had avoided that episode x)
  9. This is kinda crazy but I'm still literaly haunted by the most recent halloween episode. Basically, this idea of oneness that I am going to experience every other being experience and it's extremely daunting. Every freaking time I read about some form of torture, people going blind, suffering, dying, etc. I can't help but get anxious about omg this is gonna happen to me ! And I cannot get out of this. I do understand that it's just a dream but even from a higher perspective you're identified with your ego until your ego discovers you and you realized you're not "it". So the it's not really "you" doesn't help much ! Still I feel like I'm up for an eternity of suffering I can do absolutely nothing about and it's just daunting. Why the hell would I do that to myself ? I cannot rationalize my way out of it and also I believe it's true just because Leo said it is maybe and I can't see how this could be false (?) Either way I'm stuck with this and it's annoying me because it feels like I need to solve the problem of eternal suffering and it's just ... good lord. Any tips appreciated.
  10. @Azote Check out the productivity project by Chris Bailey. It might help a lot
  11. Aim at 2g of dry mushrooms for your first trip and thus convert truffles accordingly. It depends only on whether you feel like you've integrated everything on a psychological level and wheter there are any physical symptoms you might wanna avoid. Imho, the fact that there is a 2 week tolerance is a safeguard mecanism put on by nature to avoid you trip too often
  12. Or not ? Why are you so obsessed with making lots of people cooperate ? Be aware that's a big distraction to play along the line of : yeah let's change the world and everyone ! While really the best thing you can do for the world is being conscious of yourself and the collateral damage/benefits that are thrown into the world as a by product of your own development. Getting to yellow and having a full time life purpose will be way more beneficial for everyone than some weird orange level academia adaptation of actualized. By focusing on yourself and making a great example out of yourself and being careful about not damaging the people around you, you are most likely have a greater positive impact than whatever you expect and for sure a better one than if you ran a self-development institution with your current level of development. As always, keep calm and do the inner work
  13. Good luck on your journey
  14. @billiesimon Yeah I've thought a bit about this and in short I don't really know. Leo is very advanced and I guess your socializations needs are going to be very different at turquoise and at orange/green levels. There is value in socializing and there is also great value in spending quality alone time (without distractions) such as in hardcore retreats. It's best to do both without looking for a "right" solution because there is none Do what feels right to you
  15. I've been thinking lately about doing a retreat where I would journal about my whole life story and meditate only to reprocess everything on a feeling level, with maybe bits of shamanic breathing. What I'm afraid though is giving more power to the past instead of releasing it. Like instead of clearing my past I would get more stuck in it while journaling about it which would have the opposite effect. Like I'd like to clear all of my emotionnal baggage from my past and like be able to fully think about it without having intense emotions come up - basically a mix of hurt, wounds, boredom, low self-esteem, emotionnal pain, etc. I want to fully integrate the past so that it will have only a positive influence with the lessons, but I seem to very often be stuck on certains events unable to process them as I think about them over and over again. I'm sure psychedelics will help me with this but I wanna also put a lot of work myself and do my homework instead of just relying on one tool to do the job