Wisebaxter

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About Wisebaxter

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  • Birthday 04/08/1980

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    Brighton, England, UK
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    Male

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  1. @Michael569 Yeah that really does make sense. Especially as I don't have the issue if a girls blowing me, just during sex. I've always been amazed at how quickly it can happen. I'd have been an awesome caveman then. I'd have gotten so many women pregnant. They could literally queue up for me to penetrate them one after another, 5 seconds a pop. Next please....thank you very much, next please...
  2. @Nahm I read 'Ask and it is Given' and thought it was great. I still haven't gotten around to trying out the practices though. I stumbled upon Matt Kahn shortly afterwards and have been in an intense love affair with him ever since I'll certainly dive back into Ester then at some point, having heard this from you. I've only scratched the surface.
  3. @NahmAre you kidding around about Ester? I wasn't too sure. I've found some of her teachings helpful but I haven't delved that deep. I'm pretty much turned off to Law Attraction stuff nowadays. Not that I ever gave it much of a go. Always seemed a bit counter productive to imply that the present moment isn't already perfection. I'm 99% sure you're kidding. Is it the LOA stuff you don't like? Or the channelling?
  4. Of all the teachers I've come across, which isn't a huge amount admittedly, Matt Kahn seems to have the deepest wisdom, which just flows out of him. I often find myself wondering 'how does the fucker know so much?' It's almost inhuman. Ok, so knowledge is mind based, but the effect that Matt's words have on me is instantaneous, on a deeper level than just the mind. I can feel my whole being just light up and start to buzz. He does the whole transference thing and these 'repeat after me's' which feel like they're clearing bullshit out of my system. I've had a shift in consciousness since finding him and devouring his teachings about five months ago. His approach of choosing love as the answer to everything just works for me. It's cut down on all my spiritual busy work massively and put an end to the neurosis surrounding it. His shit just.... Works. His approach to me, is the closest thing I've come across to how I'd imagine Jesus rolled. Ultimately though, something tells me it's down to the individual, where their consciousness is at, their particular issues. I needed Matt's gentle, feminine, loving approach to help me work on my big ass shadow. Really, Matt Kahn is a beast when it comes to shadow work. That's pretty much the core of it. I also like the way he's careful with the language he uses to talk about the ego. There seems to be a tendency to demonise the ego in a lot of circles, so you walk around scared of your own shadow and not seeing it as an aspect of divinity. He says it's just your wounded, neglected inner child that needs love in order to feel safe again. So far, treating my pain that way has been very healing for me. It helps you to welcome it with loving arms. He says that this new feminine, heart centred approach is needed to balance out and compliment the older, more masculine teachings. So it's merging wisdom with love. He's funny as hell as well. Oh and apparently when he was born he shocked doctors by spontaneously adopting the Cobra pose! Hahaha. In yoga it represents a willingness to transcend the materials realms. I did piss myseld laughing when I heard that. Not sure how true it is of course. Watch the first 10 seconds of this clip where its mentioned:
  5. @zeroISinfinity Messiah mode. Fuck yeah dude. I do a practice called 'becoming a sage.' I basically sit there and visualise what it would be like to be an enlightened master. This deep sense of peace and relaxation washes over me. A knowing smile starts to appear on my face. I swear that if you did this every day it would actually be a powerful tool for awakening. It's like you're identifying with the light, with God. You're moving yourself into that vibration and coming out of a sense of seperation and lack. It's badass. I'm gonna change the name of the practice to Messiah mode. I prefer that.
  6. @Aquarius What would be your ideal scenario here. What are you looking for with this online dating, ultimately?
  7. @lukej Dude this is awesome and just what I needed to read. Scarily so. Thanks
  8. @Raptorsin7 What does your heart say bro? What feels good in your body? Not your Johnson, we know what that will say, but what feels like the loving option? What would love do? If you loved this person as another human and loved yourself fully? If you were preventing the most amount of suffering. Again, use your body as an indicator. The answer you come up with may not be the easiest one, that's the challenge. But it will ultimately make you feel better than anything else
  9. @ajasatya My experience is different. I've met both of my last two girlfriends on dating apps and they've been amazing people. I met my current girlfriend on an app and we're so well suited, both into spirituality. She even watches Leo! OK Cupid isn't the best one, admittedly. Some are better than others and have less of the riff raff on there. I love Bumble, if you can get that where you are. Do what Leo said, take it easy, use your intuition. It sounds like you did want sex, but then you ended up feeling guilty and used. Perhaps you should be looking for a casual partner then, but ones that's a bit more up together and fun to be around.
  10. Butt plugs! No seriously, do what @JustThinkingAloud said, get yourself some badass toys and play around. Your drive is waning as it's becoming too uniform. Push the boundaries a bit, go on some kind of BDSM odyssey, something like that. Get kinky. Start doing some role play, some power play stuff. Have her be the boss for a day and order you around. That might drive you wild, it does me. This is an aquired taste though. My point is, experiment. There could be shit that you don't even know about your own sexuality, if you wanna go there. Maybe get into some watersports. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable either. If you want her to bend you over and find your prostate, do it. Most women I've been with love doing that. The tough thing will be, changing the dynamic like that when you know each other too well. You'll both be laughing hard at first, which is fine. It'll take time, persevere. Tantric sex? That's a good way forward. Crazy slow build ups, deeper orgasms, a plethora of different sensations.
  11. This is fantastic advice, thanks. I often have this issue too. I've started practicing tantric sex with my new partner and it's incredible. Subtle touches, a really slow build up, not even THINKING about orgasm, just enjoying the journey, coming into your body and relishing every sensation with awareness. I can confirm that what@Michael569 said about focusing too much on the genital area is very true. That always sets me off. Deep breaths. Do you think it's the nerves that cause a problem? I've been nervous as fuck about this issue in the past. I still am now to an extent. My body seems to make me bust a nut just so the terror can be over with. In this regard, having a patient partner that you trust will make all the difference. Don't obsess too much about needing her to be 100% satisfied with every encounter. Sure, there are ways to do this using your fingers and tongue, but I think that having all this pressure to perform and make sure she's blown away, can cause problems. Try the approach of simply not giving a fuck. That doesn't mean she'll hate it, in fact, it'll probably turn her on. Just tell her 'sweetheart, I'm gonna use you for my pleasure. I'm probably gonna bust a fat ass nut straight away, you cool with that?' Shell say yes. So now, who cares? Use her body like your own personal amusement park. What I'm trying to get across is, it may work to just try thinking with a selfish mindset, just to get the ball rolling. I swear that nerves play a huge part with this issue you see. If you're like me, part of your selfish repertoire will still include eating her out, so she'll be having a ball, trust me
  12. @GromHellScream Oh so it is kind of possible, that's good to know. I did some research on the topic last night. Adyashanti says you get to a stage where the recognition of a thought occurs almost at the same time as the thought, but even he has what he refers to as 'sticky thoughts' every now and again, that he may get briefly lost in. Rupert Spira made an interesting point. He said that there is no difference between a thought you're lost in and one that says 'I'm aware of thinking.' Both of them are still just thoughts. A thought that says 'I'm aware of thinking' is still just another thought. The substance of the object is still the same, that of a thought, just the content is different. Also, I can't see how you could be having a thought that says 'I'm aware of this' and another, more normal one, say of doing the dishes. Really, the two couldn't exist simultaneously right? It would be like having two thoughts at the same time. Perhaps for a thought to even arise at all, a lack of awareness of is a prerequisite. Because, I've noticed, when I sit there waiting for a thought to arise, nothing happens, until I lose awareness. Again, this could be because two thoughts just can't exist at once. We always perceive them as hapenning in a linear fashion I like that quote from David Hawkins. Perhaps the best we can do learn to become aware of thoughts really quickly. If we were able to watch them arise, we would never have to have an unwanted thought again. Catch the paragraphs before they turn into stories. Well said. As for quitting jerking, that really makes a difference eh? Interesting. I'll give it a go. My balls ache after a couple of weeks of nofap though. Do you get that issue?
  13. I understand that thoughts themselves are comprised of awareness, but can you ever get to a stage where you can maintain a conscious awareness of the fact that you're thinking? I'm thinking in specific about meditation, or self enquiry, where you're trying to observe your observation when all of a sudden you snap out of a train of thought in which you were just completely lost, almost like a dream. In a way, you were actually back there in that place, the memory etc and you lose all awareness of your surroundings. I find this jarring and very frustrating. I can remain aware of awareness if I hear a sound, or feel a sensation, but thinking is completely seductive. I just can't see the damn things arriving. It's like they're little stealthy thought ninjas I never see coming. Can we ever get to a stage, through meditation, where we can stop awareness being obscured by a thought, where we can consciously watch them rising up? I can't stand getting sucked into these damn stories all the time.
  14. @Wisebaxter @inFlow Just watched the video you liked. Very inspiring. I'm ready to quit now. The microdosing has perhaps given me some deeper insight into the habit and I'm doing things more consciously, but that could be the meditation. @nightrider1435 Definately the ego mind lying to me, I see that now. This drug does nothing for me anymore. Time to stop the self Deception and face the exciting challenge ahead
  15. @nightrider1435 Yeah that's a very good point. Well the cold turkey approach hasn't worked for me so far and it just seems to create more stress and neuroticism than actually smoking as I'm always thinking about pot, dreaming about it, counting days I've been off if it. Then there's the boredom and the frustration that comes back. And it stays for months as well. As for why I want to give up, it's the effect it has on my diet, the association with gaming (so I waste loads of time) and the occasional panic attacks. But right now I'm aiming to accept and love all of this and see what happens. I definately feel calmer. I honestly think right now that learning to live with it is going to be easier than quitting y'know? It takes up too much energy and I've been trying for longer than I'd dare to say out loud. Something about this approach feels better in my body, kinder almost. It's not a hardcore drug or anything and isn't going to kill me. It really helps with creativity too.