Wisebaxter

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About Wisebaxter

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  • Birthday 04/08/1980

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    Brighton, England, UK
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  1. @Anton Rogachevski Well put, that makes sense I'm gonna follow @Nahm on this one and just become as aware as I can. Also, I like what @TheAvatarState said: Ultimately this question of free will, it seems to me, cannot be answered for me in any simple fashion. I still have questions, despite all of the great answers and insights given here, so the way forward is to have a direct experience of what's true. If I keep asking questions I'm just going to create more mind chatter for myself and get further from the truth. This has been a brilliant thread though and I'm loving reading all of these different perspectives. It sounds like a lot of you guys have realised the truth of this one but trying to communicate it with words to someone who hasn't experienced it will always be a challenge. I'm actually quite bloated full of theory and concepts in general at the moment and I'm going to leave it all behind for a while and do nothing but self inquiry, which has been blowing my mind recently and bringing me closer to the truth, I can feel it. My consciousness seems to have altered somehow from doing it, it's hard to say how exactly but I feel a lot more present, calm and in touch with the truth, even if I haven't fully grasped what that truth is yet. Thanks for all your help on this one guys, much love to you all
  2. @kira It's just your imagination running wild. It's an unknown entity to you so they'll always be that sense of trepidation with a new experience. Modafinil does need to be used responsibly as if you use it every day it could make you feel a bit burnt out. You may also find it hard getting to sleep. If you can feel cravings start to take hold, take a step back straight away and have a few days off. I have to say it's also just very enjoyable in general. Go with your intuition and you can't go wrong though. Your heart will tell you what the best course of action is. I'm feeling the urge to take it every day right now, that can't be denied. I've struggled with overthinking and lack of focus for years so it's a Godsend. If I'm addicted, well that's fine with me. I'd rather be addicted to Modafinil than addicted to thinking. I'm happy to sacrifice my control as the benefits I'm getting from it are too good to be true. I can sit for hours and do nothing, it's so sublime. Or I can focus on a life purpose task without all the bullshit negativity and resistance.
  3. @kira Yeah that's always a concern. Well be safe in the knowledge that every action you take is the one you're supposed to take. If you get addicted and suffer then you'll beat that addiction and come back stronger, or not. But it's not up to us. It sounds to me like God wants to experience Modafinil though your specific slice of consciousness. What can you do eh? If you end up an addict then you'll certainly be a very conscious one. Allow your fears to be there, let go of the need to control them, sit back and enjoy the show You'll be groovy
  4. @kira Hey Kira, glad to hear you're on board the Modafinil train Yeah keep us updated for sure. My ability to reside in 'being' has gone through the roof since I started taking it. Monkey mind has left the building.
  5. A really interesting thing has started to happen. When I get lost in thoughts and concepts my feet start to buzz. It's quite uncomfortable. At first I didn't know what it was and my health anxiety kicked in, but when after a few days I did self enquiry, it stopped. I've only just started this practice after a life time of over overthinking, neurosis and mental masturbation. It's like my body is telling me 'enough, do the practices, or endure buzzy feet!' Maybe it's a symptom of stress or something. So that's it, fuck doing, fuck life purpose for now (big source of stress there). Today I just sat all day and did nothing and it was pure bliss. My consciousness feels like it's been upgraded, partly thanks to Modafinil, which allows me to just sit with a quiet mind and focus on awareness. It's crazy, nothing works to stop this weird feeling other than focusing on awareness. I feel like it's God trying to wake the fuck up. So the ego backlash has ended and now I'm bouncing back stronger than ever. I'm done with doing. I'm gonna sit and be no matter what happens. Even if there's a zombie apocalypse, I'll sit here and let them tear me to pieces. I'm staring at a blank TV with a blank mind and I feel closer to my true nature than ever.
  6. Ok, this is good stuff right here. You're saying that the key is 'surrendering' so you can enter the non-egoic state. One question I have here is - can you make decisions from a post egoic state? Or can they only be made from the egoic state?
  7. @Solace That was beautiful, thank you @TheAvatarState So if I was to live like this, it would feel like just living from the heart, from love and basically letting go of all resistance? I can dig that. You're right, I really don't want that kind of power lol. I've demonstrated thus far in my life that I'm rubbish at making choices as an ego. I'll connect with my true nature and let God take over I think.
  8. @ajasatya So if I make a choice on the level of ego and it leads to unconsciousness or suffering, that was still God's will? Just a deluded God, thinking it's a self? And the purpose there was to experience suffering....
  9. So on the surface that looks like a choice happening, but really, it's cause and effect. Will I or won't I depends on what's been predetermined. The choice will always be made for me. I sure hope the choice, or whatever we want to call it, leads to some joy lol. Love your post by the way. I I feel you nailed this one. If I had to choose something for myself it would be that I choose to keep doing the practices, take a load of psychedelics and become fully enlightened. Maybe I'll write God a kind of Christmas list and see if he takes pity on me
  10. @Mu_ Thanks dude, that's helpful. No more but buts
  11. Any good tips on how to get there? The usually stuff, self enquiry, psychedelics etc?
  12. So if you haven't experienced the underlying formlessness then forms have the potential to cause suffering? If I have experienced it I can become away that forms are just a manifestation of formlessness and love them all no matter what they are, hence the love simulator analogy Leo mentioned.... Thanks for all that Jack. Will ponder your words some more. @Serotoninluv Thanks dude. Gonna soak that in and come back at you with questions if needed. My brains is starting to fizzle so I think I need to do some self enquiry to connect to some that's real instead of bouncing around all these concepts. It's all useful though. I can see how the right theory can save you a lot of hassle.
  13. So if you killed someone would that be God making a low consciousness decision, or God, deluded into thinking he's an ego making a decision, not realising he's deluded. I think this gets to the heart of my question.
  14. @Shin I like that. Makes sense in terms of duality doesn't it. If God encompasses all that it will encompass free will and no free will. @Aakash So the closer you get to God, or the less delusion there is, the better the quality the decision. That seems to be the case and it makes me feel comforted, but for me this raises the question 'what would comprise a bad decision? One that would lead to further delusion perhaps? One that would bring you further from God and more into your egoic state? But then again, if that's the experience God wants....what can be done? Or maybe God always wants to awaken. Mentally masturbating myself silly here lol. I need to plan my next LSD trip and crack on with that. @Jack River In a non-dual sense, are they one and the same? The underlying reality and the substance? So you're saying it's all God, whatever the question, whatever the answer....this will require some contemplation. I'm basically just God asking questions about God. All I really want to know is, can I choose not to suffer? I friggin hope so lol. Then again that question raises 50 more. Who is this 'I' for starters. Always the same when it comes to dealing with concepts and using the mind. I think I'll roll with the for now and plug some 5-MeO ASAP
  15. Could you elaborate a little? Are you saying that decisions like these are proof of free will? That it's you deciding to fall asleep and not God?