Wisebaxter

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About Wisebaxter

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  • Birthday 04/08/1980

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    Brighton, England, UK
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  1. @Zigzag Idiot Thanks for sharing that dude. Most of the nerves are probably there due to the trauma of your previous experience and the powerful associations it created. I'd imagine that with persistance though, you can learn relax into the experience and to enjoy it, like the film Bladerunner for example takes a few watches. The fact that you're still going ahead with this is obviously a sign that you're meant to, as everything it meant to be. Something is pushing you towards DMT and it's my guess that when you can relax or when the universe allows you to, something amazing's going to happen and it will all make sense. You'll damn pleased you persisted. Or, if I happen to be wrong, then you can just lay this urge to rest. Either way, you'll have closure. I'm glad Leo's video helped you on this occasion. Definately try music next time though. I think I'll have to go with music for my first time. You might find it guides you somehow or acts as a backbone for the trip. You're a badass psychonaught bro. Love the work you're doing here. Can't wait to hear more
  2. @tsuki I love this process. Something about it really resonates with me. I find myself getting stressed out when I ask a question as I expect the answer to be super shit-hot and flawless straight away. Seeing an answer as flawed will take some of the pressure off. You rule dude, thanks
  3. @Wyatt Nice to know I'm not the only one that has that issue then. Wow, never thought about using imagery before when looking for answers. I'm kind of searching for concepts more I think, so maybe word based. If there are images I must be discounting them I'm gonna give it a try, writing stuff down too. When I do visualisations I have this thing were I talk to inner spirit guides and they're always in the same place, my mental sanctuary, so that's a very image based practice and works a charm actually for getting guidance on issues. My main spirit guide has an uncanny knack of giving me perfect advice. Thanks for helping me make this connection
  4. Thanks dude. That sounds like an intuition based approach I think. I was concentrating too hard. It's weird, If I concentrate too hard my brain just refuses to answer.
  5. What I mean is, after you've asked the question do you then rest as awareness, with the question in your mind and wait for the collective consciousness to get involved? I mean wait those spontaneous insights that just occur when you're not trying? Or...are you racking your brain a bit to figure it out? Or both? I have a feeling the answer might be both, but wanted to check
  6. @jbram2002 Yeah best to avoid what psychologists refer to as the 'sunken cost bias.' Basically where you keep pouring more resources into a pastime because you've already invested so much in it and don't want to feel you've wasted it all. Always better to cut your losses
  7. @Zigzag Idiot yeah man, well put. To be honest since experiencing some crazy stuff myself (synchronicity, infinite love) I'm far more open to anything now. Sometimes the voice of the old me pipes up out of the blue and says 'really?' I come from a materialistic background so it's just old wiring, but my heart tells a different story. Glad your digging his videos. I can't stop watching them. He's doing a 2 day event just up the road from me in London right now. So wish I was there. My ex decided to buy a ticket so she's going. I'm having to love this feeling of jealousy that's arising in me now lol
  8. Thanks for posting this on here @Zigzag Idiot Matt Kahn's version of shadow work is simply to recognise and love our inner child and to not ignore it while we focus on these lofty spiritual sentiments while it gets left behind and ignored. So I wouldn't say he argues against shadow work as such. He stresses the point that it has to be a loving approach where we compliment ourselves, no matter what we do, realising that even a seemingly heinous act is a cry for help from a part of ourselves that hasn't been acknowledged. Actually, in another video he goes even further and says it's a cry from the collective consciousness which needs healing. The act or judgement etc didn't even come from us as there is no 'us' in an individualistic sense, which all of us know here. This also helps us not to feel ashamed. Here's the video where he mentions it: A lot of spiritual teachings advocate a form of ego shaming where the ego is seen as being evil etc. He says this isn't helpful as it's actual denying what needs to be recognised and healed. I can say that from having carried out the practice of 'loving whatever arises' he teaches (check out his book of the same title, it's awesome) it really does work. He says the universe won't deliver the deepest spiritual awakenings until be can become purely heart-centred and heal all of our pain through acknowledgement and love. Some of his other practices are: Going out and blessing everyone that passes you with 'may you be blessed' which heals their hearts and our own and saying 'I love you' to ourselves over and over whenever pain arises - place your hand on the area that feels uncomfortable, or on your heart, which is the centre of the universe I've cut down on my spiritual checklist now massively and I'm only really using Matt's teachings for the time being (at least until my shadow is integrated) which are simple, direct and practical. I've neglected loving myself for years due to feeling that the people who should have loved me, didn't. I had no idea that I was perpetuating my own suffering by denying myself this love. Everything is changing for me now. My anxiety levels have gone down, I'm more at peace, and I no longer hide from any pain that arises. He says that a lot of people collect spiritual knowledge and find it hard to progress on the path. I was one of those people. We really need to unite the mind and the heart. Matt is amazing. A very interesting character too. Says he was visited by angels when he was 8. Even if it's hard to take on board some of the more 'woo woo' claims sometimes, I can't deny his teachings just..work. Here's an interesting image I downloaded from his Facebook, which really resonates with me somehow. He says he was in a church or something looking at an image of Jesus and he suddenly received what he referred to as a 'Christ consciousness upgrade.' Notice the little orbs behind him. He says they're the angelic enlightened masters that have followed him around since he was 8. The best thing about it for me is, he's still clutching a shopping bag, containing what he says is a very expensive olive oil one of the comments read 'wow Matt, I think it was the Olive oil that triggered this upgrade, as its such a pure substance
  9. @plutoThere I was preparing for pimp mode and I read this. Yes, you're right, I am not aligned with my truth here. Even by using certain language, 'banging chicks' etc I'm trying to hype something up for myself or others. I am letting my shadow control me, my shadow that wants power at any cost, any kind of power, which it lacks so much. Screw it all, I'm going for the big prize. No meaningless sex for me. If I happen to build a connection with a women and its a mutual thing that just occurs, fine, but I'm not turning it into a lifestyle. If I'm a DJ and a couple of women knock on my dressing room door wanting a three-way, sure, it would be rude to turn them away, but I'm not pursuing them like wild game. I'm going deep into the silence now....
  10. @tsukiyeah, you're right. I think the drive was survival. She seemed like she could provide me with financial security. But it's so hard to say. All I know is, there's a neurotic drive to all of this as like you say there's a lot of judgement there. My higher self knows I'm not doing it for the right reasons and is trying to hold me back.
  11. @Shin This is a spot on observation, I am avoiding other stuff. I'm addicted to pleasure seeking, excitement and self gratification so much that doing something like working a crap, low paid job and having to sacrifice any of my little comforts is just too much apparently. It will take real effort to sort out my life situation (I have as a belief), even if it's just having to get out of bed at a certain time. That's how uncompromising I've become. I'm gonna do what you say and contemplate this deeply. I think I'm afraid of having to 'censor' my 'self' again and appear normal or vanilla like the average ape. I have many nonsensical beliefs like this that just simmer away unimpeded in my psyche, that need examining and really uprooting. I now see myself as special you see, because I've amassed so many spiritual theories haha Everyone else is seen to be boring. It's a way of my ego gaining significance, because I think I'm such a loser. All rubbish. I have to sit with these ideas and be with them, do some real shadow work. It's funny how you can know that beliefs are just beliefs and you're not any of this stuff, but they still influence you at some level unless you work on your psychology too. I hadn't thought about that, about how the reasons for doing things are the important factor. I usually just indulge and don't give myself enough time to wonder why I'm really doing it. What if I know the reasons I'm doing it and they're wrong, but I still can't stop? I suppose then it's called an addiction.
  12. @Aeris Thanks man, that was exactly what I needed to hear. I always forget just how much I'm shaping all of this, based on my beliefs. In the past I've focused mainly on pleasure and sex, so I've mostly ended up with randy woman who love sex but whom I have little in common with on any other level. Since becoming more conscious though I have noticed the women I've attracted have been more conscious too. So I'll keep raising my consciousness and maybe in the future, after I've done pimp mode for a while, focus on finding a deeply spiritual woman with an incredible mind. It won't necessarily distract me from enlightenment. Adyashanti has Mukti and he's enlightened. Eckhart Tolle has Kim. I wonder if Leo bothers with dating or women these days.
  13. @Angelo John Gage 🤣😭 I'm learning so much here. Efficient rotation strategies are essential for pimp mode Thanks for your post by the way, I really appreciate you giving me all that hard won info. I'm gonna read it through a few times. Might come back at ya with a few questions too. 7 HOT girls a week for pimp mode? Goddamn. I have a lot of work to do. Love what you said about having an attractive life. My life looks like a turd from the outside lol. Concerning the 'guilt' thing we're talking about, I wonder if I could construct a situation whereby they felt so honoured just to have slept with me once, that any extra would be a bonus and when I cut them off they'd just be grateful for getting seconds and even thirds. It might be possible if I'm a big deal, like a badass DJ or something.
  14. @Aeris Only 100!% Haha. Good result if you ask me That made me laugh. I really love that, detach from every thought and become fearless. I'm gonna design a system I can use to make that happen. This is the icing on the cake for me, because when I'm in pimp mode I don't want to be attached to this lifestyle. I need to be able to drop it in the drop of a hat. You saying this has even made me wonder if I should now contact this woman again, but without a need....no....I'm raising standards. It really made me think though, what you said. A craving only becomes a craving when you resist it anyway. Why see it as big thing? I suppose then it comes back to how much time you want to invest in all this 100 quick wet, I love the way you word stuff man I always get bored of sex after a few months in relationships. It gets so uniform and mundane. I always seem to end up with women who I don't have a huge amount in common with and don't even share many general interests with, so they don't stimulate me intellectually. My worry is, I've become so anti-relationships now, I'll never take the risk again to find out. The sacrifices seem huge. I see couples when I'm out now and I can't help feeling sorry for them, like they're all trapped with one another. I feel a deep sense of relief that I'm no longer one of them.
  15. @Angelo John Gage Wow, I can't even get one regular girl going for some casual action haha. Perhaps I should just learn pickup and really get it out of my system. Would you recommend this? So maybe I should go to the extreme, achieve pimp status and then become reformed, once I've filled my cup so full it brimmeth over. I bet you were empty! Haha, in more ways than one On the other hand, I'm sure Sadhguru hasn't needed to do that as a way of ridding himself of the urge. An enlightened master like that would be able to look ahead and be strategic I guess, then just zap the urge out of his system. Or just be unattached from it completely and so it doesn't keep reoccurring. When you say you felt empty, is that because it wasn't giving you the validation you needed ultimately? Is that what you're saying? If so, if you had validation already and you did it, and if you didn't have to deal with the emotional fallout, would you have carried on doing it? Or just too time consuming? This is a big factor me as it always seems that feelings get involved. Quite often, when a woman says that she wants something casual you get the impression that she's hoping it could progress to something, or that deep down she's doing it because she craves intimacy and not the actual 'pleasure' side of it as much. I think wanting 'closeness' can make you become more attached, but who knows Yeah once I actually vomited after going down on a girl, afterwards, out of sight of course It was waaaaaay too hairy, fucking wild thing. I thought it would bite me. If I could find some nubile young hottie, with good skin and flowing hair, with a certain innocence about her, not some jaded hag. Sorry, that sounds terrible, I just have an urge to make people laugh with this kind of language. I probably offend more people though. Calling any woman a hag is pretty awful. Such a funny word though, like wench. Yeah, that could be a new experience for me, rejecting sex. It might cause me to raise my standards a bit. In fact I can feel it's done so already as right now I'm the selector. Thanks for that. No more soggy cereal, no more scraps. My cupboards may stay empty for a while, but I'm gonna work on myself and fill them up with all kinds of exotic items. I've never slept with an African or an Asian. Or an Indian. Or a swede (the woman not the vegetable). My plan is to become a DJ, then it'll be much easier and they'll just flock to me, really attractive women. I'll still bang the unattractive ones too though to keep my numbers up and because hell it's a vagina and some of the less attractive women are funnier. They can make me laugh afterwards. Also, it's sounds silly but I still find most unattractive women attractive as lots of them still have good assets to help them shine, like ample breasts, sexy feet, or just a certain way they hold themselves or shine from the inside. I really just want balance though. So far I've been sleeping with mostly unattractive women (in a conventional sense anyway) so it would be nice to even it out. Pimp status is 7 a week...then I'll see how I feel from there. But if it's time consuming....that will end it for me. There are deep truths to be discovered and psychedelics to be taken. I'm hoping if I'm a DJ I can just have them sent to my dressing room after a show and I'll be waiting there with the lube. Haha just kidding, but I'm hoping I won't have to chase too much, just seduce them with uplifting music that fills their souls with love. Maybe with subliminal messages in the lyrics, subtly hypnotising them. Ok so after writing all that it seems I still have this urge in me, to sleep with lots of different women. It felt good expressing all that but looking back at your original advice, the essence of it is more 'don't have 7 different women a week, it won't fulfil you and people will get hurt. But because I really liked the sound of it anyway, I created a scenario where I do it 'just to see,' as a way of justifying it. Perhaps I should be more strategic eh? A lot to reply to here of course so don't feel obliged. I sometimes keep writing as I'm working stuff out in my head.