Wisebaxter

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Posts posted by Wisebaxter

  1. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    On 19/05/2023 at 2:18 PM, Michal__ said:

    Idk if this is just specific to my body chemistry but when I trip on the same day when I take modafinil it changes how modafinil works next time - it might become trippy pernamently.

    It is definitely a good combo but do you really want to be in a trippy headspace whenever you take modafinil for work?? Who knows if the effects ever turn back to normal.

    @Michal__ Wow that's really interesting. I haven't had that experience, but I was feeling the shrooms for the next 3 days after this combo. Like the effect hung around for longer. Not like I was fully tripping, but more alert to the moment and insightful, plus a different bodily state. Might just be a coincidence and nothing to do with the combo. I seemed to trip more intensely even though it was only a microdose I took, but then again i did throw in a dash if lemon :D 

    i actually wouldn't mind feeling the infinite love variable permanently on modafinil. I did really value the birds eye perspective I got too. The deeper connection to truth that psychs offer

  3. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    With freshly squeezed lemon juice, for the connoisseur :D You get the relaxation, insights and love from the shrooms coupled with the ability to focus like a beast. I'm just trying it with a microdose today. Could work best for focused activities where you still need insights. Good to experiment with 'state cocktails' in a sensible, safe way. I did some research and a few others have tried it. I'll post more later perhaps. 

    Oh this is interesting, i'm noticing a certain neurosis associated with the idea of 'productivity.' I was connected to my emotional state more and saw there was some stress there. It's like I have a bigger picture view too.

    I was more humorous and loving with my family, as opposed to irritated that I was being distracted. My motivations completely changed 

  4. Posted

    On 10/02/2023 at 5:16 PM, Emerald said:

    You know that meme where the blonde woman is looking very confused and there are numbers and equations all around her?

    That’s me right now imagining how this would work out logistically and anatomically.

    @Emerald Yeah you're right, it's a shit idea :D:D I'm a bit rusty seeing as i'm in a long term relationship. 

  5. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    There’s a reason that male escorts will often find themselves engaged in romantic activities with their clients. That reason is that it turns most women on. There are exceptions sure, but the emotional connection encouraged by romance will help her relax and feel at ease with you. Just don’t go too overboard and blur boundaries. but really the best answer is, ask them what they want. There’s no objective answer really. Also remember, passionate, sexy or lusty stuff can still be considered romantic. For example, eat a strawberry out of her pussy. Everyone’s a winner 

  6. Posted

    @Swarnim This is a powerful communication, thank you for taking the time. I have a bad addiction to weed which feeds into a lot of other habits actually, so it's interesting that you used that smoking example. 

    I find I'm very easily offended, which is tiring and causing suffering to my partner and I. I'm like a plane cockpit I have so many buttons to push. She's the same. We've both started reading a shadow work book from Leo's booklist and doing the exercises.

    I really want to meditate more as I don't currently. I do a Joe Dispenza meditation where he gets you to send energy from your lower chakras up to the top of your head to liberate 'the mind from the body' as he puts it, so you're not bound by the past. He then gets you to focus on the space around each energy centres and create new empowered emotions. it makes me feel great while I'm doing it but I haven't practiced it enough to see if it'll make a real difference. I find it a little hard to meditate when I'm stoned. 

     

     

  7. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    On 05/02/2023 at 4:55 PM, gettoefl said:

    cant do a lot about ego since anything you do is ... more ego

    one thing you can do however is keep watching it closely ... you can do this since the watcher of the ego is not the ego

    watching the ego will tame it and brings to the fore one's true nature

    for example when anger arises i let it have its way but don't get overly involved and in so doing anger gets less and less

     

    @gettoeflThat's really practical advice, thanks a lot. I've started watching the ego and journalling today. A lot of dark stuff is coming out, almost like it wants to have it's say. I suppress a lot of my thoughts and don't allow them to breath. The watcher of the ego is not the ego - that's key. A good mantra I think 

  8. Posted

    On 07/02/2023 at 2:37 PM, VeganAwake said:

    @Wisebaxter The very idea that there are healthy ego's (good) & unhealthy ego's (bad) stems from the ego itself!

    But if there are habitual patterns that you claim to be unhealthy, then start different patterns/habits or ways of handling things.

    And what's the best way to do that?

    Practice!!

    ♥ 

    @VeganAwake Thank you. I do find my own tendency to label things as bad causes me more guilt sometimes. I often wonder whether the path is through acceptance or control. Some say sit with your pain. Others like Joe Dispenza tell you to actively create new emotions. Hard to know what's gonna work sometimes. Even harder to actually build up the habit to find out. But this must be the way

  9. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    On 05/02/2023 at 10:01 AM, _Archangel_ said:

    @Wisebaxter This happens because even though you intellectually or even experiencially "get it" there are still old programs (Samskaras) that make you behave a certain way. So:

    1) whenever something like this happens again, remind your self of your nature, and, if the insights your insights have been having are powerful enough, you will witness a sort of release, like "i comprehend and let go and don't give a fuck". Comprehend that's just the Ego reacting to a sting. The more you do it the more the release will become automatic, unraveling the programs.

    2) Deepen you insights. These reactions are the clearest signs that attachment is still there and deeper layers of the matrix need to be seen through.

    3) Enjoy the fact that you "see" your reactions. Use them as a tool to progress.

    @_Archangel_This is awesome advice, thank you. People on this forum never fail to get me on track or help me understand things. It really is the best forum on the internet. Objective truth! I'm going to observe my ego more from a place of love and keep reminding myself that it's not me. It seems that awareness is the key to avoiding attachment. I'll go deeper into that. Also thanks to @Thought Art for giving me some pointers here. You summed up the issue I'm having really well in your post. Much love to all you guys and gals

  10. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    23 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

    to really change you have to understand the structure of your personality. It is something very complex and it is not verbalizable. They are energetic patterns that are built based on survival, rejection and attachment, the vital need to be accepted.

    General insights such as an enlightenment experience with a psychedelic are not enough. you have to understand in depth, and for that, understand what it means to understand. an absolutely fascinating work that requires being truly penetrating.

    forget any learned wisdom, it is useless, it is superficial. Keep digging and you'll understand. your intelligence is infinite intelligence, do not underestimate it

     

    @Breakingthewall Loved reading your posts, thanks a lot. Some really useful information and insights. My intent kind of bitches out due to the sheer gravity of the work I think. If only I could learn to see it as fascinating like you said. There's too much emotional attachment everything which kills my curiosity dead. I need to investigate what's going on and get serious. Spend that emotional labour and stop fucking playing Skyrim :D 

  11. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    @flowboy

    On 05/02/2023 at 8:20 AM, flowboy said:

    If you worry whether you're a narcissist, you ain't a narcissist.

    @Wisebaxter I'm balls deep in the shadow work & therapy topic so beware of my bias.

    I don't think enlightenment work is the appropriate tool for the job.

    Insights don't cure neurotic behavior patterns.

    This is also why talk therapy is so ineffective.

    You can make someone understand why they behave the way they behave, but it doesn't change because of that.

    There is value in understanding how your psyche works.

    It's not just "the mind".

    There's levels to it.

    Beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and interpretations are only the outer layer.

    Deeper layers contain childhood feelings and baby feelings. Including repressed, unprocessed ones.

    These push on to the outer layer and twist the beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and interpretations.

    A superiority complex could be one of a myriad of effects of that.

     

    I don't agree that unhealthy aspects of the ego should be left "as is", or just "accepted".

    Of course, you can, but they won't go anywhere.

    Much better to actually work through it and transform it to create a healthier ego.

    If you've got the time and the inclination.

    Regression therapy, primal therapy, some forms of shadow work, those will get you a resolution.

    See also my video on why therapy works and what makes it work.

    Ah flowboy, I remember chatting to you a few years back when I did my first couple of trips. You really helped me out. This is a great post too so thank you. I need to go balls deep with shadow work too, that's so true. It seems that's the gist of what's being said to me here, with all of these replies. Do the work. Can't argue with that. So why am I not? I think it's got something to do with getting to bogged down by the infinite possibilities and ways to improve, so I don't know where to start. It's like decision paralysis. Or maybe this problem is created artificially as a sneaky ego defence. Matt Kahn talks about loving whatever arises, and that seems like a good approach. Or @Moksha nicely puts it here:

    Quote

    I used to demonize the ego, until realizing that this was just a subtle example of the ego sadistically preying on itself. Bad ego! The secret to escaping the ego is not to fight against it, but to realize your true nature beyond

    My issue it seems is attachment, like @Leo Gura says, to all these bullshit ideas.  Anyway I'm going to get serious about shadow work, so thanks again. 

  12. Posted

    @aurum @Mulky Thanks a lot for those posts guys. It looks like you’re both saying the same thin. Hang in there, it’s normal. It does seem to be a part of reality, even if it’s an an illusion, or baseless. It’s still a kind of phenomena. I like the idea of accepting it completely so I’ll try and do that. Sometimes it feels a bit like micromanaging myself though. Like a constant need to control my experience, to have positive emotions. It’s tiring. I can see the repetitiveness of all my thinking patterns so clearly. I yearn for something fresh and unburdened by all this clogged up ego smog. But it’s like a freight train of bullshit. 

  13. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    I've realised that my identity is illusory. Experientially I can verify that it has no basis, because I can't find it. I can't find me anywhere else, other than consciousness, or the present moment. But still I get offended when it's suggested I am a certain thing. Or I worry than I am a certain thing, like a narcissist (thanks for the test Leo). My girlfriend had a field day with my superiority facet and I got offended. I know I can't be that, so why can't I just stop being this way? Is it the momentum of ego? Or is it that relatively speaking, I am that thing? At least to someone else. This is just an example, it could be anything. My real question is, how do you integrate a powerful insight or experience like that, so it changes your behaviour? How can you live in line with what you know is true? 

  15. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    On 21/10/2022 at 3:42 AM, PretentiousHuman said:

    Day 92: I’m having some panic attacks and anxiety again. 

    Sounds weird, but have you ever tried trying to have panic attack when you're having one? Or saying something like 'let's make this a good one?' I've found it almost trips the fear circuit in my brain. 

    Quote

    How about you, what are the practices your partake in to have a profound growth in your life?

    I think that developing the capacity to love has helped a lot. I got a lot from a YouTuber called Matt Kahn. This could look like accepting every circumstance as being part of a perfection, or like showing compassion to an angry boss. It could also look like loving the parts of myself that I couldn't before, shadow work etc. For me it's as simple as saying 'I love you' to whatever arises. If there's resistance, I just love that. It's almost like love is the answer to every question, which makes my life more simple. thanks for asking :) I think I've gotten a lot of growth from just getting a job I quite like too, and a nice girlfriend. She has an 11 year old and I thought I'd struggle with the responsibility but it's grown me a lot. It allows me more opportunities for selflessness. These kinds of life choices can't be beaten for growth in my opinion. We can meditate until we're blue in the face but hanging out on the bottom level of Maslow's triangle is way too stressful lol. Saying that, meditating, self awareness and Mindfullness do help me make better life choices that are more aligned with who I am, so it's all intertwined. 

    It's also worth mentioning a meditation I found by Joe Dispense, where he gets you to focus on what you want in the morning and visualise it, before visualising what you don't want. A lot of good things happened for me around the time I was doing it. 

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aMs5IWhZOU9autgCqYaOiYcWyAIYj5vd/view?usp=sharing

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aMs5IWhZOU9autgCqYaOiYcWyAIYj5vd/view?usp=sharing

     

    As for the porn, have you tried doing the counter-intuitive thing and just letting yourself do it? Going crazy with no restraints? Sometimes the resistance adds fuels to the fire. Also, love the guilt when it arises and love the part of you that wants to revel in your own beautiful creation, experiencing it through the senses. Try that and Dr Joe's approach of visualising what you want into existence. A lot of this maybe familiar to you seeing as you follow Actualized.  

  18. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

     

    On 11/08/2022 at 2:35 PM, Zigzag Idiot said:

    My father passed on when he was 66 yrs old from kidney cancer. When he passed I just set that as my possible time of departure. He pushed himself in the extreme attempting his life aims. Though I haven't accomplished as much as he, we have much in common. I don't take care of myself, eat badly and have been exposed to carcinogens to an outrageous degree. In the number thereof and volume.

    Given the commonality of our genetics, me and my father. I placed my departure from this planet at 66 years old just to add some sobriety to my overall perspective instead of thinking I'm going to life forever. At almost 55, this gives me 11 years hypothetically and quite arbitrary too I suppose. I don't want to be caught off guard. When my day comes, I want to be ready for it. Maybe even enthusiastic for the oncoming event.

    Hope your day is good,,,

    David

    @Zigzag Idiot I'm sorry to hear you haven't been well mate. Have you read any of Joe Dispenza's stuff? His book Becoming Supernatural outlines a way we can naturally heal ourselves by connecting to relaxation and peace as a practice. If you're experiencing emotions relating to survival mode a lot, this will stress your system and leave you open to illnesses. He has a couple of good guided meditations on YouTube that help you reprogram your body to be more used to feelings of connection and positive emotions. He says we unconsciously create the situations that give us the chemicals we're craving. In other words, we get addicted to our pain. He recounts story's about people coming back from stage four cancer, all sorts of shit, just by creating a habit of reconnecting to source, or just relaxation or love. If you're in fight or flight mode a lot, or feeling stressed, your body can become hooked on these emotions. It sounds overly simplistic I though, but he really does go balls deep into the science. I love the guy. I've emailed you a morning and evening guided meditation of his if you're interested. They're a good way to get started reconnecting on a more regular basis. I see it as using the power of intent to create a new body and mind. God can do this, it just has to do it in a more limited and drawn out fashion when disguised as an ego

    Saying all of this you do seem like a positive guy so I hope you don't think I'm suggesting otherwise. I just know how the mind can get me trapped. Conceptual stuff, images of this or that. Ideas, beliefs, assumptions.

    Is there any way you could clean up your diet a bit, or take better care of yourself? I'm wondering what you meant by not taking care of yourself. I'm thinking that self-love might be an issue, as you've mentioned shadow work to me before. Matt Kahn is great for that. It also sounds like you're good at accepting parts of yourself, acknowledging your bullshit etc. You've probably come across all or most of these ideas too, but worth a shot :) This might be beyond Matt Kahn even though :D 

    Sometimes I'm confused between the two spiritual paradigms of 'create your experience consciously and choose not to suffer,' and love and give attention to the neglected parts of yourself. The two approaches seem at odds. Ralston says change it, Matt Kahn says shine a light on it, love it and give it a voice. I've certainly been able to switch off things like fear and sadness, just through my intent. But am I burying things and not healing deep wounds? I might make a thread about this. I can't help thinking that shadow work begets more shadow work. When is it done? Aren't we just creating more habitual experiences, of 'healing,' The I need healing paradigm. Just a few musings :) 

     

  19. Posted

    I can confirm I've had good results with following Dr Joe's morning and evening meditations, which essentially help you to visualise desired future events and connect it to positive emotions. This rewrites your habitual patterns of thinking and gets you carrying out the actions you've visualised more naturally and effortlessly. It's also a powerful reminder of how you can change your state instantly 

  21. Posted

    2 hours ago, SimonaMay said:

    Hello,

    I took a half of the pill of Modafinil yesterday and today, but it makes me dizzy and a little bit tired. I wonder if those are common side effects? And do they go away when you gain the tolerance? Or do you think it is just not suitable for me? That would be a shame, since I‘ve just got a 100 pills. 
    I‘ve also got Ritalin, but I didn‘t try it yet.

    @SimonaMay So you didn't get any of the positive effects at all? Just dizzy and tired? Hmm. Tired I can understand, as your body is going into overdrive and you're bound to crash a bit, especially if you stay up for a long period. 

  23. Posted · Edited by Wisebaxter

    Yeah man, I have to admit I was a bit put-out when I heard that Leo wasn't gonna share his deepest insights any more, but the more I think about it, and after reading this, I totally agree. Leo has been carrying most of us for years and it's high time we got of our asses and did some of the work ourselves. He has his reasons for limiting this message I'm sure, and like you say, look at all the free content and value he's given. Leo will always be my captain and I won't jump ship just because he sees an iceberg :)