Emerald

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About Emerald

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  • Birthday 05/13/1980

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  1. Developmentally speaking, there is a strong need for Blue up until the later teens. So, understand that you're still growing through it. It's a necessary step in your development. Now, I would have totally rejected that at age 15 because I was always a deep thinker who was interested in out of the box things. I know that I would have pegged myself at Yellow if I were into Spiral Dynamics at the time because I valued personal development even then. But in hindsight, I can see that I was a mix of Blue, Orange, and Green. Mostly Orange and Blue but with a touch of the nuanced thinking and the acceptance of Green. But you have to understand that the Blue of the teen years isn't like the Blue of the adult years as Blue is developmentally appropriate for teens. The Blue of the teen years help teenagers develop a clear value system, which is something that is important in decisions making. The Blue of the adult years, creates stagnation, rigidity, and judgment if they don't grow through it. So, when this stage is appropriate to the age, it is very helpful with regard to growth. It's a very important rung on the ladder that should not be skipped over or ignored. So, understand that it's highly improbable that you've gotten to Yellow at the age of 15... nor is it important to be at Yellow at your age. There is no value in skipping up stages at your age. It would be highly unstable for you to try to develop Yellow before you have your Blue, Orange, and Green foundations set. Just feel okay with being on the right track, and understand the Yellow will likely bloom at some point in your 20s if you keep working on it. But it honestly takes certain rights of passage and the blood, sweat, and tears of adulthood as well as the development of adulthood to make the quantum leap to Yellow. It also takes perspective. And for girls... don't look for Yellow girls your age. You won't find them. Yellow requires adult development. Just find a girl who's left the emotional volatility of Red behind completely, who has been working on the values of Blue and is in the process of growing through it. And she should also be developing the industriousness of Orange and have goals and dreams, and have some Green to her with regard to acceptance and forward-thinkingness. Then you'll be golden. There are plenty of teenage girls on the track to higher consciousness who have this mix. So, understand that Spiral Dynamics works different for children and teenagers. A child who is at Purple or Red is average. But a child who has begun to develop Blue is highly advanced and expanding. An adult who is stuck on Blue is behind and stagnating. A teenager who is at Blue is average. A teenager who has begun to develop Orange is also highly advanced compared to their peers, but an adult who is at Orange is just average. And many adults never make it to Orange.
  2. I had a similar realization in a similar scenario... only it was my cat. This was probably four or five years ago now. But my cat was trying to go underneath he bathroom sink, and was trying to get the cabinet door open like they normally would. But there was a step stool in front of the cabinet. So he jumped up on the step stool and tried to open up the cabinet door... but the step stool they were standing on was blocking it. Now, the step stool was light and definitely would have moved had the cat not been standing up on it. But it was obvious that the problem was just incompatible with the cat's abilities. So, I began thinking about the limitations of the human mind, and all the times when we're trying to open the cabinet door an are blocking it without realizing that there's a simple solution that we're just not able to understand.
  3. Maybe try to flirt a little bit with her. Nothing too major... but just enough to give her the suspicion that you might be interested in being more than friends. Suspicion here is an important word. If you are too direct, she won't have anything to figure out. And when women are figuring out a guy's intentions it's often when the attraction comes about. Otherwise, just keep it lighthearted and like you would normally approach the conversation... only weave in a tiny bit of innuendo and/or flirting.
  4. Unfortunately, that video is just a child that's had writing from the Quran etched into their skin... likely by their parents or some other caregiver. So, it doesn't mean that anything about the truth or falsehood of Islam. Now, if for some reason it was legitimate, and the child did happen to have writing from the Quran mysteriously appear on their skin, why in your mind does that make Islam true? There is an assumption that I've seen echoed in Christian circles as well. Somebody will have a piece of toast and the crispy parts sort of look like Jesus's face. So, they assume it is a sign from God that shows that Christianity is true. But why? So, even if it were so that these things were legitimately there and not the work of people who actually made those situations happen, why would that mean that Islam, Christianity, or any other religion is true? And why does it make them the only true religion?
  5. I think the first step in getting a sense of clarity is to meet your most basic needs first. So, find a basic job and move out from your family's home. From this new place, it is likely that new insights and desires will arise. But right now your desire to be free from this situation makes it to where other desires can't be focused upon and stay buried in the unconscious or semiconscious regions of the mind. Also, you are young. Don't feel like you're behind. Remember to always put on your pants one leg at a time and without rushing... otherwise you'll trip and fall on your face and take more time in your haste. A stitch in time saves nine. So, take things one step at a time. First get a basic job. Then save up some cash. Then move into a cheap place with some friends or room-mates. Then, set a deadline for yourself to begin working on your business. Then, create a plan of action. Then, take each step on that plan one at a time. And eventually you'll get there.
  6. How is putting pressure on government officials entail using violence? It's not anymore using violence than a boycott is using violence. It's not anymore violence than electing not to vote for those who don't share my values and the interest of the common good. Also, I support some degree of government regulation on big business. There's reason for the government to make laws that protect workers and the environment from powerful corporations. But this isn't violence either. This is checking and balancing the power of big business so they can't abuse that power as easily. Of course, this doesn't work when politicians are in the pockets of big business. So, the way you stop big business from abusing their power is to get big money out of politics... which is also not violence.
  7. Again, like I said. We need to take personal responsibility insofar as we are able to. And this will create a demand for real systemic change. So, yes. Personal responsibility is a necessary step. But it's also important to realize that personal responsibility won't be sufficient to address this issue. And that we realize who the major players in the pollution game are. One percent of the population that takes an interest in these kind of things might go zero waste. But 1% of people going zero waste will never turn the tides in the way that they need to be turned. And it will never be above 3% fo people going zero waste unless there are major changes to our social structure, government structure, and economic structure. So, unless we realize this, we will keep shifting 100% of the responsibility onto individuals as opposed to the system that creates these issues... and those who benefit most from those systems. Until we address these issues on the macro level, the only people doing the work will be the 1% of people chipping away at a glacier with a soup spoon... and the 1% will almost always be people who more than have their needs met. For the poor and working class people, the focus will be on survival from paycheck to paycheck, without regard to things higher on Maslow's hierarchy. And to expect more is being unrealistic. So, the best ways to combat climate change are when we put the most pressure on big business and government officials. These actions have a much larger net impact than individually going zero waste or doing any other act of personal responsibility. Again, personal responsibility is good and necessary. But it's unrealistic to expect society to change without the power structures changing.
  8. I have struggled financially for all of my adult life. So, many of the options to be greener have been off the table. But I do agree that those who have should make these decisions if they can. But this still won't get rid of the systemic issue, as choice is not something that everyone has. Not everyone has enough dollars to vote with. And their priorities will naturally lie with getting their family's needs met. And we can't really look at people who are poor and point fingers at them because they are doing the best they can with what they have. So personally, thus far, I've had no option to buy solar and I've had to buy gas to make my van go. The bank thing I haven't done because I've never bought my own home. But many green options are off the table... at present anyway. I do plan to do more green things as my business grows and my finances change. But that's just me, I know that many MANY other people are in similar positions and worse, who will likely always struggle with finances. So, it's hard to tell them that they have a choice when they don't really. People are going to buy what they can afford. Now, if corporations paid their workers a living wage, you'd probably find more people in a better position to vote with their dollar. So, this is another way to encourage that trend. But presently, I feel like there's too much focus toward personal responsibility as the cure for the systemic issues of climate change and pollution... when the lion's share of the problem is with corporations and governments who cater to those corporations. But yes... people have a responsibility too. And we should do whatever we can to help. Go Vegan, boycott Chinese goods, support green energy initiative where we can, vote for greener politicians, etc. But we should not put the onus of responsibility on individuals but on corporations. This will yield more results.
  9. I hate to be a raincloud on this one, as I do agree that we should all be doing our part. But the lion's share of this problem isn't with individuals, but with corporations buying the right to pollute by giving a cut to politicians. If we all as individuals did the best we could, things would still not be right because we'd still have huge systemic issues. That's not to say that we should not encourage the positive green trends and to try to reduce our carbon footprint where we can. It is our responsibility. But I would almost say that framing it as a personal responsibility issue, helps the biggest contributors to climate change and pollution to pass the buck off to the little guys and obfuscate their responsibility. The best things we can do for eliminating the threats that contribute to climate change are going Vegan, buying local (and especially avoid Chinese goods as China is the #1 polluter by far), and voting for grassroots funded candidates to get big money out of politics. Here are just a few things we should be showing a demand for... Offer green energy alternatives (and governments could create tax incentives for this) Offer biodegradable options at a similar price-point to plastic and styrofoam items Create jobs for new negative emissions technology (govt. subsidized) Create jobs for people who literally spend all their time cleaning up the ocean (govt. subsidized)
  10. @Shroomdoctor I think looking at this in terms of left and right can muddy the waters a bit. We tend to have the idea that if there is a dichotomy of some sort that it's 'only right' to seeks some kind of middle ground. This is called the "middle ground fallacy." But if you go issue by issue, and not look at it by the metric of the "goodness" or "badness" of all people in either "side", you'll see very clearly which policies and tendencies are healthier for society and more in alignment with he common good. And these should always be supported no matter which group identity they fall under without regard to giving equal weight to both sides... as in reality there are no two sides. I think there is always an attempt to sort of pull the punches when it comes to criticizing the negatives of one group and feeling like you need to make it equal to the other group to be fair and democratic. But this is not so. Some ideas are inherently less healthy for society and will bear out negative results for people. But I will say that the feminine energy hasn't shown itself really in this whole thing... despite it gradually trickling in over the past century or so. Right now we just have masculine destroyers of the barriers to the feminine. And masculine fortifiers of the barriers to the feminine. So, regardless of which side, it's important to "side" with the ones who are actively removing those barriers, regardless of our ideas of which side we believe has the most "personality flaws." It's not about personality flaws or who seems more reasonable or likable... it's about supporting things that will help the greater good.
  11. I don't know. I think it's all whatever. It's just a forum. I feel like people treat it like more than what it is. It sure is an interesting thing to study from an anthropological perspective though. That's how I believe someone can get the very most out of it... to use it as a mirror for themselves. From that perspective, I would almost say that the more trappings the better. It's a collection of people who are into a somewhat rare thing. So, we can feel like special snowflakes in our own lives because hardly anyone else has our same interests. But here on this forum, everybody's similar in that way, so I feel like there's a need to compete that comes through here because there's a struggle to maintaining the role of the special snowflake. So, I've learned a lot about my own shadow from being here and seeing how others react to the many-ness of others similar to them. So, I don't think it's best to take away these trappings if someone uses the forum to go meta on themselves. And I'm pretty sure many people on here don't really get much out of the posts in general. I think it's mostly about interacting in a little "community" of others who are interested and being able to play whatever role they're interested in playing. So, for these people it's better to go meta and use the site as a personal mirror. So, with that, I would say give people more rope to hang themselves with to see how sneaky spiritual egos are. They'll find a way to validate their status anyway... or catastrophize about being at the bottom of the totem pole on the flip-side of the ego.
  12. The collective shadow is rising right now in the form of all the Alt-Right kind of stuff. It's a reaction against the integration of the Divine Feminine, that attempts to keep that integration at bay. It all rides on average men believing that they will have power and be happy if we revert back to earlier times before so called "political correctness". So, the movement rides on the backs of vulnerable men with low self-esteem, who feel powerless in their own lives. So, the Alt-Right creates scapegoats to blame for this powerless feeling, and an ideology that promises to allow those men to take their power back. This is all couched in ideas that have been dolled up to look more benign than what they are. So, they say anti-feminist conspiracy as opposed to anti-woman. They say anti-globalism as opposed to keeping those foreigners out. They say anti-Jewish conspiracy as opposed to anti-Semitic. That way, these vulnerable men won't realize that they're getting involved in Fascism by another name. And when those people in the Alt-Right victimize others... it's not seen as victimization at all. In fact, they see the Alt-RIght has as the place where victims gather against those powerful women and minorities that seek to strip the rights from white men. So, any act of indiscretion and violence is deserved because they have been doing the same things.... haven't they? That's how this group works. They take vulnerable people who feel powerless. Then they blame that powerlessness on global elites who use women, minorities, and LGBT communities as their "freedom-hating" pawns. So, those powerless feeling people can use them as a scapegoat for all their anger and hatred. Then, they use this to attack the freedoms/power of those women, minorities, and LGBT communities... and eventually will take the same from the very people who supported them while they got into power. That's how Fascism has always been able to work. The Nazis felt like they were victims too, against the so-called Jewish elite.
  13. Thank you! I find that usually men come for the sex, and stay because I'm awesome. (blows on fingernails for no reason) It just takes a little longer for men to devil up deeper attractions where for women the initial attraction and deeper attraction have already begun to mix. But the idea with male sexuality does kind of work that way from an energetic perspective. Female attraction starts in the head and travels to the heart (and eventually the loins). Male attraction starts at the loins and travels to the heart (and eventually the head). So, if there is not path to the heart, no one's hanging around for very long. No one's really just looking for sex.
  14. It's not demanding perfection. He doesn't have to be perfect. He just has to be him. I just want the one that I want, and no one else will do. There is no shopping around for me. It doesn't work like male sexuality. It's not objective and general. It's subjective and specific to just that one guy... who to everyone else might seem average. Men are attracted to women initially as merely the sum of her parts. It's very objective and has to do with if she has whatever things he value in a partner... usually physical attractiveness. But for women, they are attracted to men as more than the sum of his parts. No particular ingredient makes a woman drawn to a particular man. It's the magic that happens when those ingredients are all mixed together to create a unique individual and the chemistry that is felt. Now I could 'boo hoo' and say "look at men and how objectifying they are. They're inherently emotionally corrupt and will take anything they can get, and they don't even like me for me. And I'll never find a guy who sees me as more than a piece of meat to have an orgasm in. To them, women are interchangeable sex dolls." But this would come from victim's mentality and short-sightedness. Men get attracted in a particular way because of biology. Women are selective, so they need to shop around. Women get attracted in a particular way because of biology. Men can have thousands of children in their lifetimes... but women only one every nine months. So, we need a much more intuitive and complex system for determining the right partner for us... and that's different for every woman, even though some things overlap in terms of what has the most mass appeal. We need to be selective to find the right partner. And if I don't like that men get attracted to women in that way... though shit for me. That's nature. And if men don't like the fact that I'm only attracted to one guy at a time because they think it's unfair to them... tough shit for them too. That's nature. But this difference doesn't mean that being successful with women is impossible, and it also doesn't mean that intimacy and particularity with a man is impossible. It just means that it's a bit more difficult to cultivate... but just a bit. People are people. And men and women like particular things that can be cultivated to some degree. And men and women both need intimacy. So, when it comes to the nature of female attractions, you should see this as a positive thing. If a girl likes you, chances are she likes you for you. She won't feel that way for other guys. And for someone you will be THAT guy that her day rises and sets by if you just chill out and allow it to happen. No one likes a Negative Nancy. That's the dealbreaker and probably why you haven't had success with women. But I'm sure that someone's taken a shining to you before. You probably just didn't know it because women hide their attractions if they think the guy won't reciprocate. And your closed-off-ness would probably be interpreted as disinterest.
  15. If I'm already in bed with him, I have probably already been crushing on him forever, and I'm just really excited that he's reciprocating my feelings with the same intensity. So, no. At that point, is the time to go deeper and explore one another. If a man doesn't allow me to go deeper at that point it's such an anti-aphrodisiac that kills all the sexual feelings, as I don't even feel like we're in the same room together. I get the clear message that sex will be one-sided. Sex is primarily emotional for me... that's a lot more exciting than the physicality of it. If a guy doesn't share himself emotionally and intellectually, there's very little there for me to be excited about. But if a guy that I care about shares himself openly in that way, I find myself bathed in an atmosphere of loving and erotic emotions. These are subtler than the feelings of climax... but they are somewhat similar and even more pleasurable in my opinion because they're effortless and relaxing, and they are all-encompassing. I can really let go in those feeling-states. So, finding out more about a guy in a sexual/intimate situation doesn't make the attraction go away. It intensifies at that point. Getting to know a new romantic partner is one of the most exciting things there is. Then after about three months it naturally cools down, and gives way to a deeply bonded full-fledged relationship with subtler and deeper feelings of love and intimacy as the trade-off for the hot and smoldering passion. There is no getting away from that.