Emerald

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About Emerald

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  1. I don't usually get upset when I'm hungry. I actually like the sensation of mild hunger... though I do prefer the sensations related to eating food. So, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask about that. But I can say that the sensation of hunger was never that intense. It was always mild. The way I did it was to eat 3 meals a day at 500 calories each. Sometimes, I'd eat smaller meals in the morning and afternoon, so I could have a bigger dinner, because I tend to like to eat more in the evening hours.
  2. I gained and subsequently lost about 70 lbs during each of my pregnancies... with the weight of the baby, water weight, and placenta included in that number. So, 40-50 lbs of fat each time. So, I never paid attention to fat content or carbohydrates or even the type of food that I ate beyond meeting my basic macro-nutrient requirements. I just focused on the calories, and that helped me drop the weight very quickly. I was able to lose that weight in four or five months by eating a 500 calorie deficit on most days during the week with the occasionally cheat day.
  3. I remember hearing on several occasions that they studied people who practiced Vegetarian diets versus people with Omnivorous diets, and they found that the Vegetarians lived longer by an average of of a handful of years. I never looked further into this though, so it could just be hearsay. I don't eat meat (or normally other animal products) for ethical reasons. I went Vegan last year in June. But a month or so ago, I temporarily went back to Vegetarianism because of our finances. It was just easier to eat what my family is eating, minus the meat which is easier to avoid than dairy which is mixed into a lot of foods. This I'll be doing until we get back on our feet after a few lean months. And I have to say, I feel so bad in my body since I've been eating dairy again. I can definitely tell the difference after having had refrained from dairy consumption for over a year. I don't know if the meat had such an effect on my overall health, but dairy definitely doesn't agree with my system. So, my recommendation is to experiment a bit with removing foods and adding foods to see how you feel during the day.
  4. If you go plant-based, there is only a need to cut out meats and dairy. There is no need to cut out grains. That would probably be a bad idea if you've experienced disordered eating before. You can eat a full balanced diet as a Vegan. This is not an issue. However, if you cut out grains, there are fewer source of calories that you can eat on a Vegan diet. It can be done with effort, but you don't want to add difficulty upon difficulty to getting up to normal caloric intake. So, I recommend focusing on getting yourself out of disordered eating first and adding foods back into your diet. Then, once you get back to the norm, you can start focusing toward eating a plant-based diet with grains, if your motivation is right. You want to make sure that you're not just cutting out meat and dairy for the sake of consuming fewer calories. You want to make sure that it's actually motivated by the desire to either eat healthier or eat more humanely, and not simply for the sake of limiting food intake.
  5. Perhaps she has become the projection screen for some of your disowned traits. So, the need to feel connected with her comes from your own desire for the parts of yourself that she represents to you. And if this is the case, the attraction will feel so right that you won't want to let it go deep down. Because you know you need these traits back... seemingly from her. So, ignoring the emotions is pointless. However, you must learn to read between the lines of your attraction for what your subconscious is really telling you to make communion with. There must be a reason why this particular girl is giving you this feeling. Try to discover what that is that you actually want from the situation. Then, instead of attaching those ends to achieving your desired relationship to her, try achieving those ends within yourself. What do you admire about her? Feel free to gush poetic about her because this will give you a ton of information about what you want to realize in yourself.
  6. Peas have a really high amount of protein. If you make split pea soup, you can get 13 grams of protein per cup which is only like 130 calories. But I recommend looking up Vegan body builders like VeganGains on Youtube. I've never watched his channel before but the entire channel is about how to be a body-builder and a Vegan at the same time. That way, you can find plant-based alternatives for meat which will help you cut down on meat consumption and thus fluoride consumption. And I recommend buying natural spring water or artisan well-water which have very limited amounts of fluoride in them that simply come from natural sources and are not directly put in there.
  7. I was never attracted to people who were into that lifestyle too, even when I was in my teens and early twenties. So, I've never found anyone who is into that lifestyle very attractive: male or female. This is true even if I think they are good looking on the outside. I think this is because, with a lot of people who are into this lifestyle, their range of emotions is very narrow. I feel very strong, single-pointed emotions toward any guy that I come to be infatuated with. And I have a lot of passion, romantically and in other contexts. So, if a guy is really promiscuous to the point where he can't feel deep attractions toward a particular woman and he's numb or undeveloped to the point where he can't feel strong/deep emotions in general, then I think my subconscious/intuition sort of auto-sorts that guy away from my sphere of potential mates. This is just because I know that he probably won't be able to provide me with the emotions that I want to feel in a relationship because he doesn't have the range of emotions to meet me in my experience, romantically or in other contexts. So, it isn't weird to find people unattractive whose lifestyle doesn't resonate with you or whose personality is unsatisfying to be around for you. If I was only ever around people who engaged in that sort of lifestyle then I might find myself in a situation where I didn't have any strong feelings toward anyone. So, my advice is to try to find someone whose personality resonates with your own that you have congruence with. Then, it may be possible for you to experience strong attractions every once and a while when a woman comes along who you have chemistry with. But trying hoping to feel deep emotions toward someone who is presently incapable of feeling deep emotions in themselves, is unlikely to work. And if it does work, you'll find yourself hurt because their lack of emotional awareness will make them aloof and non-empathetic toward all aspects of life, including you.
  8. That's excellent! I am so happy to hear this.
  9. I have rules for what I want in my life too. So, if a person engages in activities that I don't want in my life, I'm unlikely to spend time with them outside of very controlled settings. I can't have anything illegal around me or dangerous because I have kids. I don't want any negative influences for them. So, there is nothing wrong with enforcing those boundaries. And it's even okay to be strict about them. The main thing is to watch out for subtle judgments of a person's worth relative to your own. These judgments are often semi-unconscious because people tend not to like to think of themselves as judgmental. But it sounds like you might be attracted to girls who do things that don't jibe with your intended lifestyle. Sometimes, this can indicate an attraction point in yourself where you become attracted to certain dysfunctions in other people. Sometimes this can have to do with low self-esteem and feeling like you're only worth being with someone with issues. Or it can just be an attraction to a repressed part of yourself. Or another possibility is simply that you don't know anyone personally that doesn't have those traits. Which would you say, if any, describes you?
  10. Thank you. I'm glad you liked the video. As for your question, the thing that I can do for someone in this context, which is very limited, is to help them discover and work out their limiting beliefs in a very accepting kind of way. That way they can explore themselves without having to feel judged about anything. And I usually try to give my perspective as a woman, what my psychological experience of their actions would be. So, because most people do genuinely mean well, I think this will help mitigate a lot of the harmful behaviors. The harmful behaviors stem mostly from mis-understanding and a feeling that they themselves are the extreme under-dog in the situation, even though it isn't true. So, they come to see women as being the aggressor who is the arbiter of their self-worth or lack thereof, either consciously or unconsciously. But this simply stems from a mix of social conditioning and not being aware of how women's mating behaviors and feelings differ from that of men's. So, that is why there is often a combative attitude from men toward women because it's used as a form of self-protection because they perceive women as being up on a pedestal. And this is echoed in popular culture as well. But it's a projection and a misconception. So, just getting someone to see that they're projecting, removes some of the barriers to awareness. And it enables people to just see the opposite sex as people who have flaws just like them. It also ideally helps them feel more secure in romantic situations where they're just able to see a person as a whole person. But if a person has not developed the ability to see a person beyond projections, then this will not be possible and the projection will likely be a negative one that seems very powerful against them. But as far as my kids go, the main thing is just to not teach them the negative beliefs or expose them to popular culture that will cement those beliefs in them. If I'm talking to adults, I'm trying to help them unwire a problem. But if I'm talking to my kids, the challenge is to prevent the problem from happening. And just teaching them age-appropriate emotional awareness as they grow up.
  11. I think this advice is good in general, but likely won't be possible for many of the people who comment in this section of the forum from where they currently are. Most people on here have a lot of pain relative to interactions with the opposite gender for a number of reasons. And specifically, most of the guys on here also have a strong resistance to their feminine side because of social pressure to fit the masculine mold. So, there becomes a negative association with others who display femininity too... men and women. This repression also compounds any other issues they may be dealing with. There is also a strong limiting belief that sexual desirability/success is equated with personal worth in an absolute way. So, the coping mechanism becomes to see the opposite gender in a really reductive, two-dimensional way and to objectify the situation by listing pluses and minuses in the same way one might considering purchasing a vehicle. This "weighing the pros and cons- quantitative thinking" happens in lieu of the ability to access their emotions and intuition which are an aspect of the feminine side that is repressed. This objectification also happens because they have created many defenses against getting hurt and protecting themselves against seeming inferior in some way. So, what I take from your post is that you pick up on the strong vibe of objectification and failure to see the humanity in other people. And it is truly a really 'yucky' vibe to read it as a person who isn't mired in this pattern and most especially as a woman who can relate to being seen through this lens before. It feels really dismal and salts many of my own wounds relative to relationships. My automatic reaction is to want to say "shame on you." But this isn't helpful. This (likely unconscious) dehumanization and objectification helps them compensate for feeling inferior and out of control in a romantic situation (and thus their litmus test to determine their worth) by thinking and believing in such a way that gives a sense of control and power. So, admonishing someone for these types of issues and viewpoints, will feel to them like you're trying to take away what little refuge they have from pain and low self-worth. They will perceive it as you trying to snatch away their only life raft. So, my advice to them instead would be to first drop their resistance to their feminine side within themselves and to come to appreciate the parts of themselves that they believe might make them less worthwhile. And also to recognize the desire to to so by recognizing the projection that happens onto their "objects" of desire. Then to begin to see unconditional love as valuable and possible. Then, once they get to that point, empathy and putting themselves in the other's shoes will become possible.
  12. You're welcome and thank you!
  13. Thank you! I do think the healthiest thing to is to allow yourself to imitate the behaviors. Imitation is how human beings learn. But also be sure not to lose other aspects of yourself in the process. And feel free to be contradictory and paradoxical.
  14. I'm glad that the comment resonated with you. I think it's because it's easier to love and nurture a part of ourselves if we can see it in another person that we admire. Sort of like, imitation is the highest form of flattery. I always tend to want to imitate these "mentor"-crush figures. So, you're able to "fall in love" with those aspects of yourself when projected upon another person but not necessarily in yourself. So, it helps us become aware and integrate them because at a deep level, we feel a longing for that part of ourselves. We want it back from the other person. So, the desire for union with that person is very strong because it is a desire for parts of ourselves that are unconscious that we are longing to reintegrate with.
  15. It's much more fun to create yourself than to try to fit into a competitive mold. You can really grow yourself in that way. And you won't have any issue finding someone who will be attracted to you because if you do it well and authentically as possible, you'll be very interesting. But you want to have strong principles that you really stick to. One thing that I did well back then was to engage in all "beneficial" and "neutral" behaviors but to leave all "negative" behaviors. So, beneficial behaviors were behaviors that were virtuous in some way or help other people. You want to cultivate a decent amount of personal virtues and gifts of competence for yourself. Try to be well-rounded. Discipline and inspiration go a long way in creating these things. Neutral behaviors were behaviors that might socially be seen as negative but actually caused no harm to anyone. Engaging in these will help you be relatable and likable. People don't want to be around a perfect person. It will make them self-conscious. So, it's important to be very human in your presentation and to be open about your folkways and flaws. Negative behaviors are behaviors that cause emotional or physical harm to others. So, these should be avoided at all costs, even if they're social norms. You should be willing to within yourself, stand firmly against things that are social norms that you find detrimental and not get swept into them. You can't have a strong ego if you have weak character. So, basically resolve to develop strong character based on principles that you value. Then, develop basic skills in a variety of areas so that you're well-rounded, and develop expert degrees of skill in one or two of your strongest areas. And then become aware of your interests and personality quirks, and weave all of these things together into a cohesive persona. It should feel very natural and inspiring. Then you'll have a strong ego.