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This is my recount of my first experience with psilocybin mushrooms. I took psilocybin mushrooms for the first time in late June 2017. I woke up a bit after 4:30 am in the morning. I made sure to go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water before the trip as I did not want anything to interrupt it. I retrieved my psilocybin mushrooms and weighed exactly 5 grams of dried Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms. Before I ingested the fungus I took about five minutes to sit in silent meditation. My room was also in complete silent darkness as psilocybin preforms best in this environment. During these five minutes I listened to some calm music and mentally prepared myself to completely let go of everything. I got into a mindset in which I was ready to die; right there and right then. I was ready to be completely obliterated. After this meditation of complete surrender I turned off all technology around me. I paused out of respect for the fungus, I then looked at the mushrooms and said “I will go wherever you take me, with grace”, and then I ate the mushrooms. They actually tasted quite good. After eating the mushrooms I then got into lotus position and meditated at the edge of my bed. This was one of the stillest meditations I had ever had. It was almost as if my body knew the profundity of what was to come. After about 20 minutes of silent meditation in darkness I felt the first effects of the psilocybin. My body began to feel heavy and I felt a tingling all over my body especially in my spine and in my head. I then leaned my back against the wall as I meditated. I began to feel nauseous as well; I was prepared for this as I had a vomit bucket next to me. As the effects intensified I then had to lie down flat on my back. The effects became more intense. As I laid down I immediately got in a bilateral symmetrical position. Somehow I knew that this was going to be very important. I remembered listening to interviews with Martin Ball and the importance of bilateral symmetry during psychedelic experiences. Then the weirdest and most profound experience of my life began. As I laid in the silent darkness of my room on my back with my eyes closed it was as if my ego structure was sucked right out of my mind in an instant. Through no volition of my own my body began to contort into various bilateral symmetrical poses very similar to the ones that martin ball discussed. It was an extremely strange yet beautiful experience. I had no control over these movements and it felt like the psilocybin had possessed my body. My nerves were tingling the entire time this happened. I could feel my nervous system trying to balance itself as the psilocybin entered. As my body continued to contort into these various poses they became more wild and intense, it felt as if the psilocybin was testing the waters. It was entering my body and trying to see how it could take control of my nervous system and guide me. It felt to me that it was trying to get accustomed used to being in a human body. My perception of time dissolved as well. When I opened my eyes I saw intense visuals in a grid like pattern overlaid on my vision. At this point I could see the light from the sunrise through the blinds in my room. As I peered out it was so bright. Brighter than anything I had ever seen yet so beautiful. The bodily contortions slowed and I heard an intuitive voice say something along the lines of “ok, that was your introduction, now are you ready for what I have to show you?” There was no ego present however I knew that this was about to get very intense. At this point I don’t really know how to describe what happened as there was no ego and no sense of time. But I will do my best to recount. My consciousness / awareness was then catapulted outside of space and time in a void of complete nothingness. I then heard the intuitive voice say something along the lines of, “I need you to understand the profundity of the things that I am showing you.” “People rarely get to experience things like this.” In the nothingness a light formed and I was that light and the witness of the light at the same time. The ego then tried to ask questions to try and understand, label and interpret what was occurring. The psilocybin did not like this at all. Immediately as the questions of the ego arose the experience began to turn negative. In the void I saw red and black vivid colors emerge. I saw hundreds of psychedelic demons come into existence and general chaos ensue. Keep in mind that I was the colors and demons and chaos. The ego of Thomas roger became concerned at this and tried again to ask questions and understand. But it was as if the psilocybin said “NO!” “You will wait until I am finished showing you what you need to see before you begin to intellectualize any of this!” “Simply sit back, experience and observe this.” After the psilocybin said this, the ego of Thomas-Roger was obliterated in a sea of destruction and chaos. I felt the pain and agony of being completely ripped apart in every way possible. The ego was screaming at the top of its lungs. The ego screamed out into the void and was abruptly silenced. The ego was dissolved and transmuted into the chaos that had annihilated it and the immense pain was turned into infinite bliss that I had never felt before. Now that the ego was not going to be a factor anymore in this experience I was now the light in the void. However even after this there was still a witness of awareness. At this moment I felt as if I was everything in existence. Then the psilocybin said “ok, great, now we can continue.” As the experience went on my awareness/ consciousness began to traverse the multiverse with the psilocybin as my guide. I was shown the intricacies of our illusory concepts of space and time. I was shown that all is absolutely ONE. Next even more strange occurrences ensued. I was shown a massive psychedelic “city” made of pure light that existed outside of the multiverse, space and time. This “city” of light was large enough to make Earth look tiny in comparison. The psilocybin guided my awareness through this place. I saw technologies made of what I can only describe as light. I saw technologies so inconceivably advanced that they would make the greatest human technological marvels look like less than stone age tools. All throughout this “city” were beings of pure light. Some of them were humanoid in shape some of them were so alien in appearance that I can’t even begin to describe them. These beings could bring things into existence simply by thinking of it. They could travel anywhere in the multiverse by teleporting. They created worlds for fun. The psilocybin told me that I (awareness/consciousness) could do this as well. I saw many other things here that I can’t even begin to describe with language. All I can say is that this was a beautiful place of love and light. The most memorable thing that I saw in this place was a vast library of all of the knowledge in the multiverse. It was like a cathedral and a library made of pure light. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I lack the vocabulary to describe just how beautiful it was. After seeing this beautiful place of love and light at one point I was shown a nexus of information in which streams of information were pouring out at an extremely fast speed in all directions. This information consisted of every way that we humans use symbols to communicate information. This included but was not limited to all forms of language and all forms of mathematics. I felt at this time that I knew all languages, all modes of communication and all relays of information. Information was everywhere. From the sub atomic to the molecular all the way up to the multiverse. I saw information in DNA helixes, plants, animals, myself and everything else. I (consciousness/awareness) literally knew everything. At this point I experienced the most intense and breathtaking part of the experience. I felt like I experienced everything that had ever happened in all of existence simultaneously in less than a second. It was so powerful that the witnessing awareness/ consciousness was obliterated. The witness was the last vestige of anything resembling duality at all. Now there was only the happenings of existence and I (pure nothingness) was all of those happenings. It was as if I had created existence and decided to experience existence in every way possible. From bacteria to entire civilizations spanning light years, every life, every breath, every experience was one. And I was that one. It’s very hard to describe with the limits of human language, but I will continue. I felt like this experience lasted hundreds of millions of years. It was so vast and visceral. I lived as thousands of people, plants, fungi, bacteria and animals. I saw entire alien civilizations rise from the stone age to type three civilizations and fall. I lived as various men, women and children. In all of these experiences there were vast, various things constantly changed about them but one thing remained the same. The consciousness that was experiencing life remained. I don’t really know how to describe that. I experienced childbirth from both the perspective of the mother organism giving birth and from the perspective of the child organism being born. I experienced sex from both the male and female perspective simultaneously. I felt both masculine and feminine energies as ONE. I felt how integral sexuality was to existence and just how profoundly divine sexuality is. Sexuality is not simply a bond between a male and a female. Sexuality is a vector in which novelty can be introduced into the universe and existence as a whole. All of the millions of experiences and perspectives were happening so fast and it was impossible to keep up with the experience. It was moving so fast that it was overwhelming it was a sea of chaos and yet I was this sea of chaos. After all of this profound stimulation everything returned to the void. This void felt like infinity. I was in this experience for eons. It was unborn and undying. I was this void of absolute nothingness from which everything stemmed and I was that void. After experiencing eternity in the void of absolute nothingness standard reality began to form. Thus commenced the comedown phase of the experience. The witnessing consciousness reformed. I came back into my body. My body felt extremely heavy and difficult to control. My mind went from states of being conscious to unconscious. Slowly my perception of reality shifted from that of cosmic consciousness to that of human consciousness; however my perception was still nondual. I felt all of the information that I had witnessed being embedded into my nervous system. My whole body was vibrating as I began to come back. My head was ringing/buzzing for the entire rest of the day. This headache did not go away until the next day. As I slowly came back to physical reality all of my bodily senses were very sensitive. I felt everything so vividly. It was very intense to even feel my body lying on the bed. Feeling the air being pulled into and pushed out of my body was also very intense in a way that I can’t really describe. I was so immersed in tactile sensations that I began to feel the bed very gently. It felt like this was my first time touching something. As I tried to get up I fell several times over a dozen before I was even able to get to my knees. As I looked around my room I felt completely in shock. The best way I can describe how I felt at this time is I felt l how the character David did at the end of the movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey, after he had come out of the stargate. My room looked like an alien environment to me. I felt like I was seeing it for the very first time. I had not felt like this since I was a baby. As I looked around I thought it was VERY strange that anything was happening at all. I thought that it was very strange that we humans could not simply do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. I then looked at my hands and I was blown away. I saw the complexity and strangeness of the biological machine that I was looking at. It was very amazing. I struggled to get to my feet. After falling about 6 more times I finally managed to barely stand up. I was amazed at how my body was working. I was amazed that I even had a body. I looked at my bookshelf and I was almost in reverence for it. I nearly cried when I looked at it. Reason being, after seeing that library of light during my experience, I have a newfound respect for information. I had to use the bathroom afterwards so I slowly walked to the bathroom. Walking wasn’t easy after the trip. When I entered the bathroom and saw my reflection in the mirror the first thing I thought was WHAT THE FUCK?! It was so strange to see a body looking at me. It was so strange to see a body at all. Again it was like I had never seen a human body before. On my body I saw visuals like patterns and glyphs moving all over. However the visuals were the least of my concern. They were cool and interesting to observe but I was more mesmerized by the fact that I had a body at all. My body looked like an alien organism to me. After using the bathroom I asked my trip sitter what happened to my body. He said that for the most part after the contorting poses I was passed out. He said that at one point that I began flailing, grabbing things and swinging them around and making incoherent noises. It surprised me that I was not screaming at the top of my lungs at one point during the experience. This is because when the ego was being obliterated I could have sworn that I was screaming at the top of my lungs in complete agony. After learning from my trip sitter that most of my trip consisted of my body simply lying there I was ok with that. I walked around my home feeling like this was my first time seeing it. I decided to walk outside in the backyard and when I did it was a bit overwhelming. I marveled at all of the lifeforms outside. I simply sat in the grass in awe of the planet I had just returned to. All in all the psilocybin experience lasted for nearly six hours. It was the strangest, deepest, most profound and most beautiful experience of my life thus far. This experience forever changed the way I look at reality and it has supercharged my existing meditation practice. Psychedelics are really an amazing tool for learning, consciousness exploration and enlightenment work. They can lead to many beautiful things if the student is ready for the lesson. Here is a video explaining the positions that my body was contorting into. Skip to about 5:25 in. The grid visuals I experienced during the come up portion were very similar to this. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/Thermodynamic-Horizon-76214599 This is what the "city" of light was similar to. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/ET-Contact-676996115 This is what the visuals overlaid on my body looked similar to. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/Vitis-Animae-264377166

@Real Eyes That's a good question. I have never taken any drug in my life, so I also never investigated it. Drugs was simply a no-go area in my life. This changed when Leo started talking about psychedelics. His video about AL-LAD convinced me to try it out, because it looked like a good starting point. The problem though was to do a trip, I required myself to take a whole day's time, and the next day no work, which restricts me to Saturdays. I haven't had many Saturdays completely free for myself, and I'm not gonna trip when I need to take care of my son. Another problem was my wife. She is even more dogmatic about drugs than I was. Doing a trip isn't something I can hide from her, nor should I want to hide it. So it took me some courage to tell her, and while she doesn't agree with me doing it, she told me she trusts me in whatever I do. So far I have 2x taken AL-LAD. The first time was 75µg, just to see how I would respond to a low dose. Nothing much happened, except for maybe slightly more awareness. The second time was 150µg. No noteworthy visuals, but much more awareness. I was in a peaceful state, listened to some music, but nothing profound, no insights or anything. Near the end of the trip I didn't know what to do anymore so I watched some TV with my wife, and it was a show about celebrities. I remember ridiculing all those celebreties and their petty problems, it all looked so alien to me. On the other hand I don't need drugs to see that . Both trips didn't have any lasting effect on me as far as I know, and I don't think they have anything to do with the awakening I've had. But who knows. In my next trip I wanted to try a 300µg dose, and that was actually the trip I was waiting for and expected to actually get some results from it and hopefully some insights. My desire to do this has dramatically diminished, because I already got what I was looking for, but I'm gonna do it anyway. I now know there is even more to discover. Even though I don't really desire any more discovery, doesn't mean that I shouldn't.

@Sarah Marie I believe I may have some of what you experience. I hear voices, whispers? They tell me to do things when driving at at other times. Things have also disappeared, or have been thrown at me once for a good reason. Like I was at a turning point in my life and something disappeared that made me change everything in a split second. From that I sold my house and moved from Utah to Florida. I am not afraid of this though it can be creepy when I feel a presence. I know these things dont disappear.. But No matter how hard I try I cant see something sometimes. Something erases certain things from my consciousness/even from reality. I cant explain it any better lol I actually take pictures of areas now when I cant see something I know is there to prove to myself I was being blinded temporarily. I have only been able to prove it a couple of times. I feel like this is a game, I am not sure of who the other player is haha I would like to develop this to understand more. So you just did a lot of awareness meditation. Any particular techniques I should look into? I have to be honest. I meditate, but not regularly. I trance really quickly, and really deep.. I have accidentally meditated for 6 hours and not realized it was longer than 30 mins. When I meditate regularly I now get this feeling like I am floating and I begin to feel distant from the people I know. So I cut back a lot so I can continue to engage with those around me. Because if I meditate conversations are very alien to me and I find myself viewing others as "humans" instead of people I know and relate to. Hard to explain lol Words are so limiting.

I´m afraid that I enjoy handwriting more than typing. I feel as if paper chaos is more managable than file chaos. When things are inside of my computer it does not matter if they are ordered or not but I don´t feel like having control. But heh... When do I ever have control over written things? It has happened several times in my life that I did not see an entire question or task in a test. haha... Once I even missed out on a second testsheet because it was between extra writing paper. So I completed only half the test... But still passed. (And I was wondering why the SOS material wasn´t asked...) Oh boy... But who cares what I passed and didn´t? As I have said, I am quitting linguistics anyways. It´s a couple of months now that I transformed my desk into a standing desk but now I have a job where I´m standing and moving a lot anyway so when I come home I´m not very excited about standing around and online journaling... My meditations haven´t been that long but at least pleasant these days. I need my daily dose of surrendering... Been thinking about personality tests lately... I guess they can´t be that accurate when you lie during the answering. I also have to say that some traits are rather fixed but some others... Some others I swear keep changing. Or let´s not say changing, let´s say that they depend on too many and too many complex factors. Well, whatever these tests say... Let´s better nothing put limits on us... I´m lucky. I´ve never been bullied at school (not that I did not have some rivals...) and I have great friends. One of my besties is coming to visit me in about a week. Not a school friend. She is also a couple of years younger than me... If she has interest, I´ll teach her all I know. The only problem is that I wonder if it is not better to just live how I live and be who I am and let her ask questions through her own curiosity. I might be a chronic better knower but I´ve never been an arrogant displayer of knowledge. My parents never gave me a fixed answer or opinion on anything (they rarely taught me anything intellectual. Even tough mum is an open mind advocate... But her views on psychology are shaped by bad and not very questioned by her literature, leaving her in some views that must either be excuses for ego or just medieval... Dad? I don´t know what he believes. He is an alien from space. Maybe a nihilist? I don´t know...). I had to piece my views together from left and right. I hated it. I always felt behind. Knowing nothing about politics, religion, science and such... I had no opinion, I had nothing to say, I was nobody. Not so much for the others but moreso for myself. I wanted answers, I wanted to know what to believe in. (I obviously did not want to believe in bullshit). On the pineal gland artist... Before officially becoming a self actualizer, I painted something similar. But I was a little more than half through with the painting and then wrote "bullshit" in big black letters over it and made the rest black. I have a photo somewhere in a box, in a garage... When I moved back into the dorm here I told my cousin that he can throw the painting away. My rational side took over back then. I apparently had to resist my LSD brain because I did not want to become a spiritual woo person (I was already crazy and fucked up and confused, so logic seemed like the only savior from chaos). It´s been an issue my entire life: What is actually possible? Opposites crashing on and into each other is something I´d include in the description of my biggest interests and... Me. As a person. Once a guy said that my dressing was dissonant. Dissonant... That´s an interesting word, isn´t it? On that day I looked totally normal except from my feet... They were dirty and had no socks or shoes on them. I was like 80% logical, boring and down to earth and 20% hippy, fairy, dreamy clouds on that day... When I heard about enlightenment and becoming everything I thought: That´s it! If I include everything I don´t have to make up my mind anymore. I will finally, finally find peace in this head. I am not enlightened. But that I have more peace. That is for sure. I once saw something. But only once. But it changed me. I´ve had some interesting experiences as a child but this one was not just a feeling, it was visual. Since it remained inexplicable until the present day, I have just labelled it as a hallucination in order to keep paranoia away from me. But now I am not so afraid of these things anymore... Who knows? Maybe it will come back... I might write more about it some other time. Gotta sleep to be fit.

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS IS A DISEASE. Consciousness is health, self-consciousness is disease -- something has gone wrong. Some tie has arisen, some complex. The river of consciousness is not flowing naturally -- something foreign has entered into the river of consciousness, something alien; something that cannot be absorbed by the river; something that cannot become part of the river; something that resists becoming part of the river. Self-consciousness is morbidity. Self-consciousness is a frozen state, blocked. It is like a dirty pool -- going nowhere; just drying, evaporating and dying. Of course, it stinks. So the first thing to be understood is the difference between self-consciousness and consciousness. Consciousness has no idea of 'I', of ego. It has no idea of one's separation from existence. It does not know any barrier, it knows no boundaries. It is one with existence; it is in a deep at-onement. There is no conflict between the individual and the Whole. One is simply flowing into the Whole, and the Whole is flowing into one. It is like breathing: you breathe in, you breathe out -- when you breathe in the Whole enters you, when you breathe out you enter the Whole. It is a constant flow, a constant sharing. The Whole goes on giving to you, and you go on giving to the Whole. The balance is never lost. But in a self-conscious man something has gone wrong. He takes in but he never gives out. He goes on accumulating and he has become incapable of sharing. He goes on making boundaries around himself so nobody can trespass. He goes on putting boards around his being: No Trespassing Allowed. By and by, he becomes a grave, a dead being -- because life is in sharing. A self is a dead thing, alive only for the name's sake. Consciousness is infinite life, life abundant. It knows no boundaries. But ordinarily everybody is self-conscious. To be self-conscious is to be unconscious. This paradox has to be understood: to be selfconscious is to be unconscious; and to be unself-conscious, or to be self-unconscious, is to become conscious. And when there is no self, when this small, tiny self disappears, you attain to the real Self with a capital 'S' -- call it the supreme Self, the Self of all. So it is both: no-self in the sense that it is not only yours, and the ultimate Self also because it is the self of all. You lose your tiny center and you attain to the center of existence itself. Suddenly you become infinite; suddenly you are no longer bound, you have no cage around your being. And infinite power starts flowing through you. You become a vehicle -- clear, with no obstructions. You become a flute and Krishna can sing through you. You become just a passage -- empty, nothing of your own. This is what I call surrender. Self-consciousness is a non-surrendering attitude -- it is the attitude of conflict, fight, struggle. If you are fighting with existence you will be self-conscious and, of course, you will be defeated again and again and again. Each step is going to be a step in more and more defeat -- your frustration is certain. You are doomed from the very beginning because you cannot hold this self against the universe. It is impossible. You cannot exist separately. A Sudden Clash of Thunder ~ Osho

The massive amount of alien evidence for me its undeniable. Disclosure project, a surgeon md that has removed unexplainable implants in patients. Whole countries like Mexico have admitted to some kind of phenomena they can't explain. Thousands of stories from U.S. Govt airforce men and other credible witnesses. Documentation about said events. This being found doesn't surprise me at all.

@JustinS I would be very skeptical, apparently they had similar claims before: http://www.snopes.com/alien-mummy-peru/

@Salaam I took the Meyers Briggs and i had INTJ with intuition about 85% thinking as well something high like that so kind of opposite to you almost. The sensing part is a huge challenge to improve and i'm working on it because when u practice an instrument, working out or socializing u want to be 100% there and in the moment otherwise u work at like half your potential i noticed this especially while working out i feel when i'm in instinct mode so to speak i am a 100% stronger but it is hard to get into that and even scary because it feels kinda alien but intensely satisfying do u know what i mean? maybe i'm just talking about the idea of the flowstate its hard to explain words really fall short here actually. With my thinking i can get into such deep abstractions and to me sometimes it is like the outside world is a whisper it is exhausting although i guess it has its advantages maybe but it needs to be more balanced. i'm working on it by while running for example, trying to focus on just the next step and look no further, its still incredible hard tho. final question for you, To achieve something real hard to really master something i need to develop this sensing part of me would that be the key and possible life changing maybe is that correct you think? i improved a lot last few years but this might be the next step.

we're on the re-framing our terms already, I'd like to have people around me hate me rather than have them feel betrayed, so you don't need to worry.. I told him the other day if he continues on his wrong habits that way that he could kill himself sooner than his life expectancy:) and I got a look as if I am the most strange alien around here..?

I'm always at peace with myself until i sacrifice my enlightenment to help others. Where i live its currently near-impossible to remain in those states. Its like we are universally attacked for continuously trying to help others and do right. If you had the situations in life i had to go through and deal with you wouldn't be here at all telling me this. I'm dealing with universal trickery, how can i not love whats part of me yet whats part of me only tends to express that same love when its in that special mood. Its like the world we live in is specifically programmed unconsciously to attack those who try to spread and express love and light and love and protect those who are doing the opposite. The whole globe is under psychic yet genius mind control system and frequencies with alien technology. No meditation or any diet/lifestyle changes seems to cure it but merely prevent. The only option is going and being a Hermit living in the wild away from society with animals but when i do that i wanna come back and help the rest but i tend to get tricked into helping then give them the power to destroy me which i cannot seem to figure why. Oh nevermind.. i should never type when i am my lowest i apologize. I need to find my balance again, take care.

@CuteCornDog Man is a disease. Diseases come to man, but man himself is also a disease. This is his problem, and too, this is his uniqueness. This is his good fortune, and also his misfortune. No other animal on earth is such a problem, an anxiety, a tension, a disease, an illness, in the way man is. And this condition itself has given man all growth, all evolution, because 'disease' means that one cannot he happy with where one is; one cannot accept what one is. This disease itself has become man's dynamism, his restlessness, but at the same time it is his misfortune also, because he is agitated, unhappy, and he is suffering Two methods have been tried to understand and cure the disease called man. One is medicine, the other is meditation. Both these are treatments for the same disease. It will be good to understand here that medicine considers each disease in man separately — an approach of analysis of the part. Meditation considers man himself as a disease; meditation considers the very personality of man as the disease. Medicine considers that diseases come to man and then they go — that they are something alien to man. But slowly this difference has diminished and medical science too has started saying, "Do not treat the disease, treat the patient." Medicine catches the diseases in man very superficially. Meditation gets hold of man from deep within. In other words it can be said that medicine tries to bring about the health of a person from the outside; meditation tries to keep the inner being of a person healthy. Neither can the science of meditation be complete without medicine, nor can the science of medicine be complete without meditation, since man is both body and soul.

I was first introduced to psychedelic substances while reading online back in 2014. At the time I thought that they could be a useful tool for psychological inquiry and consciousness exploration. However I did not seriously begin to research and learn about psychedelics until 2016. It was at this time that I learned of the powerful healing effects of various substances such as DMT, Psilocybin, LSD and Cannabis if used responsibly. Then recently in 2017 I finally used cannabis as my first psychedelic tool. What happened afterwards was one of the strangest experiences of my life thus far. Note I would NEVER use these substances for recreational usage. I seek to learn as much about myself and existence as I can and psychedelics are a tool to help me with this. For the past three years I have been meditating from 20 minutes to an hour each day, I’m raw vegan (I only consume fresh fruits and vegetables), I am a very intellectually minded person and I have also had a few profound unitive experiences via meditation. This was the next step in my journey of consciousness exploration. As far as set and setting is concerned I was in a good place at the time of taking this in. Initially I was nervous however I calmed my mind via meditation and I was around individuals that I knew, although they were recreational users. The cannabis was loaded into a water bong and I took three large hits and used 1 gram of the plant for this experience. Being my first time it was very difficult not to cough too much however I did manage to compose myself. I was determined to go as deep as I possibly could and knew the importance of THC absorption in cultivating an experience. As I took the third and final hit I could feel my perception of reality become distorted. I began to feel dizzy and nauseous. Those around me began to speak about activities to do while high. In my perception their voices became slowed and their movements slowed as well. I tried to participate in the conversation but this simply was not going to happen. I felt my body movements become slower and heavier. I began to stare at the plants near us with much intensity. The same connectedness that I felt in my meditative experiences was present here in this psychedelic experience as well. Within a few minutes I was compelled towards the ground, it was as if I was being pushed and pulled towards the ground at the same time. As I went down I saw what looked like a small bright orange smiling humanoid neon outline in my vision. I knew that things were about to get strange. As I hit the ground I passed out. Those around me at the time helped me up immediately and what follows was beautiful and very strange. It only took them maybe 15 or 20 seconds for them to get me up however in my perception it lasted much longer. My eyes opened and closed. All of the environment around me was heavily distorted and all of the vegetation was brightly colored and had that bright neon outline around it. The intensity of the sunlight was at least twice as radiant to me. As I felt them lifting me I wanted to go deep in this experience I had a thousand questions in my head and wanted to stay exactly as I was. In my mind there was a menagerie of voices from every trip report that I had ever seen online or read. I was various places in my mind such as waterfalls and fields. There was a bit of fear present from the ego, due to the weirdness of all of it, however it vanished quickly. I then heard a voice subconsciously that said, “Just let go”. I subconsciously responded (I was unable to speak verbally) “I will go anywhere you take me”. And so I completely let go of all control. I felt that in order to stand up I had to forcefully will my body to do so. By the time they raised me to my feet I saw those around me as beings of light. Their bodies were a bright blue light and they were shining so brightly it was as if the sun was within each of them. They helped me inside the house I knew that I was walking and awake but everything was so blurry and I was still very dizzy. I passed out again shortly after on a mattress. This time things got weirder. As I was out I felt very nauseous. I saw many strange psychedelic images as well. I don’t know how to explain it but I will try my best. I also had audio hallucinations. I believe one of the sounds that I was hearing was a fusion of my heartbeat and breathing, however it sounded very alien and esoteric yet beautiful at the same time. There were other audio hallucinations as well. As my eyes were closed there were hundreds of shapes, colors and figures constantly shifting. My body also felt very limp and strange. There were entities talking to me although I could not understand them. Although I do know that they were loving. They were not humanoid and their “bodily” shapes were outlined with bright colors. They had no other visible parts only the outline. The audio hallucinations continued. As I “slept” I could hear music from outside but it was so much louder and vivid than it normally would have been. It was as if it was only 20 feet away from me instead of a few hundred. Although the music was a genre that I am not fond of the pure audio sounds of the music and the rhythms I heard were made so beautiful by the cannabis. The closed eye hallucinations continued. The light beings that I saw from before were here again but were present as outlines. They told me about love and showed me love. What they said and how they showed me love, I do not remember. Then they took me through many places which I don’t know how to describe. I even saw the light entity I saw back in 2012 when my mother passed away. This was by far the most beautiful part of the experience. More things occurred after this and then there was just pure blackness. After three hours I somewhat awoke. I was still not fully lucid and reality was still distorted. I stayed up for about one hour. During this hour I listened to two songs that I prepared for this day. These songs sounded more beautiful than I had ever heard them before. I took down some quick notes of the experience and then went to sleep for the night. The next morning I woke up and I was so happy. Happy to be alive, happy to exist and happy to even experience existence. For about half of the next day I felt as If I had just finished a very deep meditation session. My mind was calm and content with experience. I know that this was far from the average experience one gets from smoking cannabis and I feel that this experience occurred the way that it did was due to a few factors. My several hundreds of hours of meditation may have had some sort of deepening effect on the way how I responded to the cannabis. Additionally I wanted a deep experience and wanted to use this as a tool for spiritual growth, mental exploration and consciousness exploration. The foods that I have been eating for the past three years may have also had an effect on it as well. Overall this was the strangest thing that I have ever experienced thus far in my 20 years of life and I really can’t accurately put into words exactly what I experienced on that day. What I can say in closing is this. We are loved. Despite all of the weird forms that I saw there was never anything to be afraid of. All of existence is ONE. I view this as a positive learning experience and hope to delve deeper into my mind and slowly deepen my understanding of consciousness with other psychedelics in the future. So to those out there with far more psychedelic experience than I do, what do you think of my first experience with cannabis? Any feedback would be appreciated. This video gives a good idea of what the various entities I saw looked like. Skip to about 4:15 in. These are the two songs that I listened to during this experience.

Being a loser. I've made a lot of progress here, but here goes. Ruining my own life by not taking the actions that I know I should be taking because I am too weak and spoiled to get my stuff together and do it for real. Always finding some reason to postpone my dream until tomorrow. Letting my negative emotions weigh-me down. Enacting self-fulfilling prophesies or death-wishes because a part of me feels very at home in failure, in quitting. Part of me feels very used to being depressed, comforted by it in a way. Like the forlorn loner talking to himself, off by himself in his own mind, in his own displaced world. Being a loser addict, not capable of being responsible in this dog-eat-dog world. Like the perpetual College kid who never grows-up, never having to worry about making money, distracted by his own constant theorizing and thinking. Now that spoiled-brat guy is dropped into this world and has to pay real bills, has to get his own act together for real. Happiness means change, and change is scary. Like I said, I've made huge progress with this, but I wanted to give you an honest answer to a question that made me think. For some people being practical comes easy. For me, being in my head and philosophical comes easy. So, I really had to change some basic wiring in myself to start getting practical results, which I have. There's nothing worse than feeling like you are an alien on this Earth.

Maybe not? An alien race communicates through logograms instead of verbal language (which is a very slow and limited way of exchanging large amounts of information). Their language was also beyond all mental concepts such as time, as in- yesterday, tomorrow, was, will be, ect If your interested, check out the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis http://blog.wolfram.com/2017/01/31/analyzing-and-translating-an-alien-language-arrival-logograms-and-the-wolfram-language/

While we're at it, stop messaging me on how to: Find weird anime porn; Give up binge drinking; Shield head from alien probing; Pick locks in the dark; Escape from incarceration. If you need to ask, then you are not ready.

Most of the films are listed here already. However there are a few Bollywood films which are equally entertaining and positive. So if you can arrange for subtitles you might wanna checkout- Zindagi na milegi dobara (about living life to the fullest) sultan (about getting up when life knocks you down.. but you can skip this one of you like) 3 idiots (which is about following your passion) Queen (finding one's true worth.. umm it's more about a woman who moves on her honeymoon all alone after her fiance calls off the wedding) Dangal (based on a true story, about finding a way out of the problem, and not really caring about society) PK (interesting take of an alien on the world and religion especially) -- Also I enjoyed watching How to train your dragon series, Wild starring Reese Witherspoon, The Walk and Into the wild. I don't know if they necessarily promote 'growth' but they're worth watching.

I thought he was a bit wacky when he posted the Alien conspiracy but this is straight out of a movie.

I while back I read Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. The main point of the book is that there are an infinite number of parallel realities. Therefore, you can live in the reality you prefer by switching to the one you prefer. (I haven't quite understood how this process works) He says in the book that when a psychic is bending a spoon, he is not really bending the spoon but merely switching to a reality where the spoon is already bent. This theory reminds me of Leo's theory of everything, it would explain miracles (Jesus and other masters knew about this stuff?) and all the weird things that are usually called paranormal phenomena. Basically nothing is impossible, anything can be the content of consciousness, and you can chose what the content of your consciousness is going to be. Really think about it, your consciousness can experience ALL kind of different things. I don't know how to do it, am just assuming that's the way it is, and sure it does makes a lot of sense, it would explain everything. So there is nothing special in seeing a dragon, an alien, a monster, or anything else because those are just the content of your consciousness. Let me know what you guys think about it, and if you have any more resources I could read that would be great, I really like this topic. I read the last book by Jed Mckenna "A Conspiracy Theory" and it was just mind blowing.

it is my goal to describe the way I experience the present moment so that you can all draw your own personal conclusions. One thing that stuck with me in spirituality is that you should be able to be happy anywhere you are, no matter who you're with. Meaning that when you walk alone on the street you should be able to be completely satisfied just walking alone on the street. I know understand why this is possible. Everything has so so much detail in the present moment. If you take a psychedelic and suddenly see the world in interesting ways this is the way the world is seen in the present moment, always. The pavement feels alive, sounds evolve, everything looks like the most beautiful piece of art you've ever seen, and it is. Because you literally switch dimensions, to live in the present is to experience an entirely different world. this is the best description I can give of change of world in the present moment. Everything has more dimension, more weight, more uniqueness. You know what you're looking at, but you know it's different then before. One can say both these images represent the same thing, but yet they are entirely different. If you viewed the world like the first image, and then you view it like the second image, is it really the same world? it merely shares the same ''blueprints'' but it has nothing to do with the previous. There's so much dimension to everything and myself that in proportion nothing changed,I'm not taller then lets say a building,but I feel a hundred times much taller then I used to be. Because the building became taller too. the proportions stay the same, but I feel and I know that this world is so much bigger then the one I used to live in a year ago. sometimes when a group of people pass by, it is so mesmerizing, it's like completely out of this world, the speed, the dimensions involved, it's like you'd be looking at a bunch of asteroids fly by in space. cars are cars, but they're so detailed and alive, they look like alien spacecraft with a unique personality. the sound of a car going by is like sci-fi sound now compared to before. where I want to get to guys,is that you can fully trust the present moment. leave your worries behind, there is infinity in the present moment, you can be completely ecstatic and live an insane adventure just walking on the street, your regular job can become a place of infinite magic. it is never about what you see and experience, there are infinite layers of reality behind your current reality, available to be explored

Thank you pluto for your post. I have been thinking somewhat differently. These wands are already 17 years old. So, for me it is nothing new. If anything, I think today there is too much emphasis on selling things which imitate by appearance and lack metaphysical foundations. Harry Potter wands, and such, have taken over. The use of tools which aid and bridge between the physical and metaphysical are being watered down. Also, the metaphysician is losing insider vision and faith to make things happen. Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) had this ability more than most. He could build and make an apparatus perform in a way that nobody else could reproduce. Because of this, others blamed Tesla for being a charlatan. I believe Tesla was able to see something possible and work out how to make it happen. It was his conviction (faith), a metaphysical principle, which provided the means for creating what he deemed possible. For example. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was a close friend of Tesla, and whenever he visited Tesla, Tesla would show him what he was working on. At one time, Tesla lit up the room they were in and Mark could not source the light, because the air itself was the light source. It was shadowless light. Tesla was able to vibrate an air gas, lets say Nitrogen, to release photons. Yet today we have not been able to do produce a room full of shadowless light*. Imagine its uses, every bit of air is lit up. Nothing hidden in the shadows. It could benefit surgery, and inspecting things in dark areas without the aid of a torch, etc. Tesla was able to do many such things because he had insider vision plus conviction to make it happen. I think there is a decrease in the number of faithful visionaries among metaphysicians of today. I might be wrong, but that is how I see it today. With regards to me in further developments in this field, I have ceased in doing so. Other avenues have come along. The lessons learnt have contributed, and still do, to furthering my journey down the rabbit hole of truth. * Interestingly, there has been reports from alien abductees (from MUFON reports) that they were in a UFO room of light that had no source point. Investigators/researchers have considered the walls and ceilings must have been the light source, but the abductees never (as far as I know) regarded that was the case.

I think one of the good ways of doing it is maintaining a life not full of "shoulds" but something you "want or desire." What you have are better of not as rigid rules wifh an iron first but gentle guidelines. You can do this by practicing being aware of thoughts and replacing them with much more gentle and playful ways of doing with a spacious awareness. I'd like to add to Salaam's advice on humor here. I find in my experience, it was hard to find a sense of humor until I watched comedians. And trying to see their and the audience's point of view on laughter. Learning their way of making humor, jokes and having fun and finding what really gets you going the most. A kind of "humor" role model. Another way is seeing the situation from a fresh point of view such as imagining how a child would see it or an alien from outer space. I found it helpful to write a story in my life from a stressful point of view and then changing it to be more lighthearted. Ask, "How would a much more playful person see this situation?" and write that.

Yeah, I've dealt with depersonalization as well. its tough and can get very fucking strange. basically I had an experience where I was playing basketball with my buddies and all of a sudden it felt as if i were on an alien planet. And i remember just looking at "their" bodies and they looked like straight up organisms is as best as i can explain it. I couldn't really interpret language and it was basically just sound coming out of their mouths. their arms looked like tentacles and hands and fingers don't even get me started. I couldn't look at my own hands without getting intense anxiety for a while so i went home and just tried to close my eyes and nap it off. Couldn't look at my own mother btw. Id say it was a mystical type experience though, i had no clue one could see the world this way. But yes, it does go away. keep meditating. I think its just when you see the truth of reality and your conditionings slip away for a second your ego freaks out and since you feel like you're a separate self the world then feels alien.

Are you implying Jim Carrey is an alien?

Our realm can be considered the densest we know, otherwise we would more than likely to have detected it. In this regard we could say that other realms, incorporating other dimensionalities, is much finer. Spirits, ghosts, demons, and the like are said to reside in such finer realms. Aliens, and their vehicles, have often been seen to appear and disappear from and to a vanishing point within itself. This points to coming from and returning to a finer realm. Every story I have heard/read about alien encounters have a deceptive element to it. It has no bases of truth, except that they exist, but not as we know it. IMHO

who said Aliens have to be superhuman telepathic technologically advanced beings? I'm assuming the vast majority of alien life out there will be life forms not incredibly dissimilar to animals on earth in how they behave but might look different.