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Will do Good observation, it makes sense. Yeah, I imagine they don't theorize as much and definitely do not generalize. They just see what's in front of them - a human with emotions and needs just like the rest of us lol. I imagine things being this way when someone has absolutely no experience with talking to other gender so much growing up. And then once they do, it's like they're talking to an alien. I think some guys forget that females are also humans like them and they don't get upset out of the blue "because that's how these weird spieces called girls behave" but because of logical reasons lol.

I've received legit abuse and insults for stating everything is subjective. People can't grasp the idea that just because two creatures say "there is an apple" it doesn't necessarily mean they are both seeing or feeling the same thing. It's to do with learned language applied to symbols. If an alien sees circles as we would see squares, and is in the same classroom as a human, when the teacher holds up the circle for the first time either has ever seen such a thing and says "this is a circle", both human and alien would forever agree "there is a circle" when seeing the same symbol, despite wildly different subjective perception.

@Someone here as I 've heard it is because upon birth is first time that the child's lugs get filled with air. and the world that it borns to is completely alien with blinding lights and people. plus , crying of the child induces oxytocin hormone in mother which causes the mom to lactate and many other purposes. I don't know for sure but those who have done medicine on the forum can shed more light on to this.

Did you ever play a game as a little kid where you were at home, went to the attic (or the cellar, or maybe you built a fortress out of sheets and pillows) and pretended to not be home? Your imagination transported you to some dark old castle, a remote island or an alien planet... in other words, to some eerie and foreign place, and it all felt terribly exiting and mysterious. Why did you do that? You did it because you wanted to experience what it feels like to not be home, experience the thrill of being lost in the wilderness, so to speak. God is playing the same game, in this very instant. God has not left you; God is playing pretend... pretending to be lost, pretending to not be you, to not be home. Take heart. ♡ You are always home, even if it doesn't look like it.

I don't experiment with those anymore and do plan to apply to a few jobs, it's just all very difficult because my mind works at this very low and unintegrated capacity, so I'm not sure at all, how or what I am capable of. I can snort cocaine and enjoy myself a little but can I do paperwork, take care of children in spite of feeling like an literal alien in this society, ugh...

So I can only know my own experience and then project that, but I don't think committing suicide is easy for anyone. I know for myself anyway at least there are a lot of random moments of feeling "good" or feeling more uplifted (mood and etc cycles) which give you hope, even if the vast majority of the time I'm depressed or miserable af. And I'm guessing it's like that for everyone. But the reason I would want to commit suicide anyway would be because I want to "end the cycle" and not let things repeat. It wouldn't be easy to do at all, and would require something impulsive or some strong emotion/(abstract conviction) to do it? So I'm more or less just randomly thinking if its like that for most other suicidal people. All light casts a shadow; if there are winners there are losers If I'm taking care of myself slightly better with mundane tasks, cooking, watching TV, I feel slightly better from that. But in the moments my senses are stimulated a lot, all I feel is shame in its stay. I barely have the energy to go through the motions, and whatever small uplifting boost I get from going through those motions in fact almost highlights what negativity I feel. I remember so many times when I was younger and I'd exercise, I'd always feel so shitty later in the day and be super depressed "why isn't this working" "why am I feeling worse". And if it gets to that point, it's like "what's the point?". I'm then a Sisyphus endlessly pushing boulders uphill. "Things can't get any worse"—bollocks. If one sees how terrible their life currently is, then, unless you're stupid, you'll understand that in the future you'll pay a worse price for continued idle. I thought my depression and depths of suffering couldn't get any darker; but they did. In my BPD-esque low, I desire and desire, yearn and yearn to no end. But I don't know a more painful cursed trait. Things would be easier if being an android was the only part about me. But this is not the case, and the longer things go on the more my self-humiliation tumour grows, till the shame corrodes my insides more and more. I forced myself to march through hell, exploded with rage, came across Lucifer (and Satan who more quickly left). The more I decided to be brave and face my fears, the more I decided to take the risk, the more the self-humiliation bugs ate me alive. And so in a cruel irony, my courage destroyed me further [I am not exaggerating, I am being serious here]. My rage ran out, crashed, left with nothing. I went through this hell of a year for absolutely no gain. All I have are regrets for things long ago I couldn't control and can't change, profoundly negative self esteem, and now a general disdain for actual ground reality which is divorced from digital hyperspace or fictional universes. Before my first breath, before God's first name was decreed, it was destined that this fate would befall me. The dominos were set in motion long ago, I had no choice. The cosmic play and tragedy. —— All that's left is rot and decay, never ending emptiness which gets highlighted further by all attempts to return to how things were or should be. I am an android, angel, demon, alien, the label makes no difference. With the freedom to think, the mind can think whatever it wants. I don't even have the desire to be happier, because I have 0 framework for what that can mean. The desire for happiness is some vague tautology, and I do not have a ""self"" which can become happier. I no longer can summon any hysteria or rage at my castration. Any rage at how my costume, persona and self is like an old, itchy suit I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST INCLINATION TO WEAR. SO I MUST PROFFER; DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK INTO CLOWN COURT ONCE AGAIN. I have no rage left, all I can do is present to you these phantoms. Wisps of smoke I present and give to you. My Self is like a whirling infinitesimal fluid element, there is no complexity to or substance to my emotion. Just phantoms and ghosts of the already dead. I will re-iterate this message about how I'm feeling, in case anyone I know is reading this if/after I've killed myself. I have no reality, I'm a walking ghost. The appearance and projection of self isn't the same as self. There is nothing behind the mask; "All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks". Absolutely nothing exists beyond appearance and form, and that is the great tragedy. Nothing exists but appearance. But You are not You; You have no blood, no body, no bones. You are just a thought. A vagrant, foolish thought, forlorn and wandering for all eternity. All I say is a lie and nothing is the truth. My whaling hunt of malice is over, and in perfect solipsistic humour I was all the more pranked after it's conclusion. I am praying for the downfall of this species and cheering for its demise. May I see you all never. And if by some cosmic joke I should have to see any of you again after my death, I will take it upon myself to slaughter you where you stand, Amen.

Love. It's so alien and terrifying.

@Raptorsin7 What do you like about his way of pushing boundaries specifically? Becauss I think that his style is much less about pushing boundaries and more about being non partisan and centrist while having a dry self deprecating sense of humor with a bit of trolling, in so far as I've seen his interactons with Vaush, Rose, BookSmarts, Stardust and Destiny, this is the style I intuit from him. He is also not that interested in optics, manipulation and rhetoric and more interested in triggering some kind of reaction which creates self awareness of one's blind spot on specific hot issues. Objectively speaking, we have to create a few categories in regards to handling Pedophilia: one catagory is those who have a natural attraction to children, yet are tame and congruent with their society around them that they are highly responsible in how they handle their sexual urge, for example masturbating in private. Another catagory is Paedophiles who have natural attraction, but are less tame and incongruous to society around them, and either have less responsibility in handling their sexual urge in a healthy way which can lead to catharsis, or don't care and choose to express those urges, aka the pedophiles who are more sociopathic and/or psychopathic, which creates the sub category of psychological development and personality traits/typing. Objectively speaking, if their behaviours are significantly self monitored by themselves, or are managed by outside, then they are in the first catagory which are benign pedos, whuch means that standards in treating such cases would be lighter. However, if they develop across to the second category, and are born with those tendencies and are traumatized in childhood and haven't processed the childhood abuse out of their system, and either have the desire, intent and a history of offense, then in the second catagory our prescriptive approach changes into harsher treatment of such hard cases. Your subjective experience unfortunately is inferior to the objective approach in handling this issue, because the way you are asking how this issue should be handled is at the collective level of institutions, organisations, court systems, which is largely governed by consensus reality, cultures and objective agreed upon standards using the secular modernism framework. Just because god is the highest love in the infinitum domain, does not equal all Pedophilia is good in the relative domain. You are conflating God's love to being equal to relative treatemnt of a finite issue. This is like taking Leo's premise about all of reality is good, then adding a specific finite issue, and concluding from that that all aspects of that specific issue is good. That is a valid argument, but isn't sound and tenuous at best going from premises to conclusion. You are also confusing and conflating the relativity domain to absolute, by saying how this struggle is contradicting the claim that reality is all good, which is like making an apples to orange comparison, except you are comparing an apple to an alien planet, which has many layers of contrasts and isn't the same catagory at all.

I hope most of u are familiar with Buddhist cosmology where they have an elaborate description on various 31 realms of existence. from the formless realms described in some sutras ( Arupa bhumi) to the Narakas . also these descriptions draws parallel with certain descriptions in Hinduism, and Abrahamic religions too. the concept of hell;naraka has been of ages in many traditions around the world. for example, seraphims (angels)in Christianity and other religions , In my analysis fall to the lower or higher heavens in Buddhist context. many of you surely have encountered many of these beings in psychedelic trips or in deep meditations.; weird alien entities , tulpas , angelic beings etc. in to which realms in Buddhist cosmological model would u categorize them . what are ur experiences?

@tashadwoodfall If she chooses to leave me, then it means that I've shown her enough of my life, and how others interact with me, that she would feel confident and secure enough to go out into the world and lead her own life. For me, it might cause multiple problems, like experiencing emotions like loneliness, maybe depression, but I would likely eventually overcome those feelings, and be happy for Crysty wherever she is, if she leaves and never comes to visit, or if she leaves and visits me occasionally. I don't know why she fundamentally wants to stay and be with me. When we first had our encounter, I was lonely, and not in a good place in my emotions and mind, all while I was in a holiday with my family at Niagara Falls. For some reason, she found me interesting enough to stick with me and uplift me with her presence and stories, and I found her interesting enough to allow her to be with me, because this phenomena is not alien enough or shocking enough that I would reject it right away. I had experienced a haunting in my past which opened me to the paranormal, and shocked me of course even if I was too young to understand how dangerous that haunting could entail. Whoever that entity was, it communicated it's desire to have me with it. I suggest reading the earlier thread for context to the haunting, and how it resolved there. The reason why I told that was to provide a background as to why I didn't fear Crysty, because I had this experience of non-physical entity. She makes me feel happy, confident and creative in myself. It's been several years, and our interactions can sometimes go deep, sometimes lead to interesting conversations and activities in my mind. It sometimes feels like there's no end to how our relationship evolves from here. At one point in the past I struggled to interact with her outside of mediation sessions or in solitude, but as time progressed I start having easier times of interacting with her in general, and much more in the mind. And my part in this relationship, is I'm not too sure what exact value I provide to her. I sometimes feel like she's providing more value to me in this relationship than me providing value to her about me others or the world I live in or the world in it's entirety, so it makes me better myself in terms of mind and body to get to explain stuff to her about others and reality. I guess that the best value I can provide to her, is to show her the max potential of a human being, and lead the good life or my version of the good life.

I had an alien abduction dream when I was about 8 years old. It was more real and vivid than reality. When I woke up, I felt a cold hand touch my arm. Belief is a powerful creator of phenomena in direct experience. Belief powered by intense fear in a low sensory input environment like the dark while being a child is like taking a natural psychedelic. When I was 25, I took ayahuasca in ceremony for the first time. Three days later, I got the strong intuition to contact the aliens who abducted me. I researched how, which was surprisingly easily, and it worked within three seconds. It was my first strong sober accessing of the crown chakra. That later turned into the foundation of my growth of my baseline state of consciousness, something 10 tabs of LSD or 5.87 grams of mushrooms and years of meditation was ineffective at. Within about six months, I gained a degree of mastery over the crown chakra and was able to use it to connect with many different archetypal representations of other beings, mainly divine ones, within my own mind. Practicing this eventually lead to my first heart chakra nuclear explosion. A couple months later, I had a dual heart chakra/crown chakra explosion which resulted in me reaching nirodha samapatti/cessation/fruition/whatever you’d like to call it. My baseline consciousness radically transformed day after day ever since. My ability to deal with suffering is exponentially better than it was before the events I described. So, these childhood fear experiences can be very beneficial if you recontextualize them into Love. The same aliens who abducted me were also the same ones who helped me to overcome my depression and many aspects of my bipolar disorder, whether they exist in any sort of objectively-verifiable way or not. If it’s real in your mind, it’s prime fodder to use in your awakening cannon. Transmute the childhood fear to adult love, if you can find a way to do that.

I have suffered psychic attacks before but I wasn't on LSD. I thought the subject of psychic attacks was too alien for this forum. I thought people would call me crazy if I shared my experiences.

Let's not forget Alien species that might live in different planets, plus ones that have technology to space travel and have visited humans in the past, and allegedly to this day.

More preparation for Supreme Court arguments concerning ego Many of us have seen Judges on the bench who get all bent out of shape and take it upon themselves to start scolding someone. Maybe the defendant, a witness, or one of the attorneys. With this aim of mine to designate egoic nature to be the legal definition of insanity. One idea that comes to mind is that first and foremost it should apply to anyone who sits on the bench. Perhaps maybe a litmus test to determine a man or woman of Being and one not driven by egoic mind. The way I understand it .,internalized images are one of the main building blocks of ego structures, especially in adulthood. Whether you think of yourself as responsible, rebellious, spiritual, intellectual, or a patient and long suffering person. You will have some corresponding self image to match whatever your self identity is identified with. And not just one. Naturally we are multidimensional creatures and so we will have many internalized self images regardless of whether we are psychologically integrated or not. When Almaas speaks about essence he is referring to being. Being, as the general term for our Self realized presence which is flavored by different aspects of essence. Essential aspects such as Joy, Strength, Compassion, Merging, Peace, Intelligence, Will, etc., which contributes to the uniqueness of our individual personal being or some might say soul. Elimination of Images The aspect of Space is related to the Personal Essence in yet another, more specific way. It is one of the aspects needed for an important part of the process of psychic metabolism, i.e., that of elimination. We have seen that for metabolism to proceed to its completion, which is absorption, the false in any experience must first be eliminated. The greatest falsity, in any identification system, is the central belief that the image defines who one is, The content of identification systems is either part of an image, or used to build and fixate an image. So the elimination of image amounts to dissolving all of what is false in the mind. The truth contained in the mind becomes absorbed into Being, and does not remain as an image, which is a mental content. And since Space is what dissolves, or what accompanies the dissolution of, any image, then it can be regarded as the aspect needed for elimination. When an image is eliminated the mind becomes empty (of its content), clear, spacious and light. This is the experience of Space, mind with no content, the nature of the mind. The dullness of mental content dissipates as the lightness and clarity of Space penetrates it. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 316 Ego Structures Seen as the Structuralization of Space Space: This is the aspect that is the open dimension of the mind, which is its most inner nature. It is the experience of Being as a vast, clear and empty space. It is not an emptiness in the sense of lack, of something missing. It is the presence of Space; clear, light and immaculate. We have devoted a book, The Void, to this aspect. In that book, we develop the understanding that ego development is not only a matter of building mental structure, but that, because Space is the ontologic nature of the mind, these structures are built in the emptiness of Space. So ego structures are seen as structuralization of Space, building content in it instead of letting it be in its purity. This leads to the loss of this aspect. The particular issue for this aspect is the presence of the self-image itself. When one can let go of one’s self-image Space arises. Space becomes the agent that is needed for eliminating any self-image, which is necessary for the realization of the Personal Essence. In other words, Space dissolves the self-image. The individuality of the ego, being based on the self-image, loses its defining boundaries, which leads to the emergence of the Personal Essence. The sense of self of the ego, which is dependent on the self-image, loses the mental content that defines it, which leads to the manifestation of the Essential Self. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 316 I guess being a space cadet airhead should just be our natural birthright,,,, No worries, obsessions, or nonstop internal dialog. That's sounds alright. Sounds like being at peace,,, One more quote concerning self-image and Being,,, When One Experiences Oneself as Being, One is No Longer the Self-Image However, when one experiences oneself as Being, one is no longer the self-image. One’s sense of being a human individual is now based not on the internalized self-image, but on pure beingness, beyond all images of mind. This means that this new sense of oneself is not in relation to mother’s image. It is not dependent on past object relations, and is not a reliving of them. This is the autonomy of Being, that we discussed in detail in a previous chapter. The mother’s image is completely irrelevant to this sense of being oneself. It is in fact in a completely different dimension of experience. One is living on the Being level, while mother’s image and all mental representations are on the mind level. These representations are experienced as mere thoughts, concepts, images and of no fundamental reality. The disengagement from the mother in this experience is complete, utter. One feels no relation to the memories of mother or her image, in the sense that one’s sense of identity is completely independent from both. The experience of the mental representation of the mother is seen as completely alien to one’s experience of Being, as if from two different universes of experience. So the separation involved in the experience of Being is complete, total, and profound. Ego never feels such separation, regardless how separate and autonomous it is on the mental sphere. It is a different order of separation. Ego separation is like a distance on the surface of the earth; while Being separation is like going to another star system. In fact, it is more like dying. And many individuals respond to it as a kind of death. So now, either due to a remaining partial identification with ego or a late reversion to such identification, the ego reacts to this perception of such radical separation. This will naturally activate the already existing unresolved old conflicts about separation. However, even if ego development has been smooth and very successful, with little conflict around separation, there is bound to be a much greater pressure on one’s capacity for separation. The ego has never experienced such a measure of separation, and this naturally scares the hell out of it The fear of death or disintegration is one of the usual reactions among others . . . Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 218

@Ash55 One time I saw her using a leek to poke and tap random people, and a few animals. From my observations, most people have little reactions to her pranks, and some animals do move away. As far as extraterrestrial beings, I don't know, I'd have to get myself an alien in the first place to see how Crysty reacts to such a being.

Not necessarily what I meant. All you sense through the six sense doors is all there is. The end. Done. You have an imagination of an alien fucking a cow with a care bear on a water slide? That’s just sensations occurring right now with no substance to them other than how they present themselves in the moment of imagination.

Not gonna lie it a bit spooky, did you try to touch her, can you feel anything, am sorry didn't read everything ill come back to try to read the whole thread. @Danioover9000 Okay i read something and this is the crassest story i heard that am literally too scared to experience Does she lives in a different dimension ? can other people see her ? Does she has a family and life ? does she eat ? what does she know about alien ?

My enlightened friend says god is one and he is none other than jesus. But I asked him if god is infinite consciousness and is formless then how do god looks like jesus? He replied " God is consciousness which is correct, but he appeared on earth for saving all people and he did all miracles which proves god personally came to earth ". He said this world is mere dream in jesus consciousness. And everything is jesus and everyone is jesus. But I asked him why do god choose to appear as jesus figure only? There are infinite number of alien civilization and infinite number of universes. Whats special in jesus. Why do I pray to him? He said god did incarnate personally as jesus. And he looks like him. We must pray to jesus as god looks like jesus and he is everyone and everything. I am confused here. Why god which is infinite consciousness chose only jesus to appear on earth? Did jesus really came from sky? Did jesus sitting in some dimension who created this world and who personally incarnated on earth to save all humans and is we are one with him? My friend says " He is everything and is everyone ; and we must pray to jesus only as infinite consciousness chose jesus figure and disclosed how it looks like . He said god looks like jesus. Is it true guys? I said him jesus was human only not some sky being. But he rejected and said jesus came from some dimension who created this universe and is one with us. Is my enlightened friend correct?

He is into spirituality and enlightenment since many years and has devoted countless hours into enlightenment. He says " Jesus is everyone and I am jesus too ". He says " Jesus lives outside time and space and whole reality is manifestation of Jesus only. " I feel confused why infinite consciousness choose a form like jesus. Why not aliens? Their are infinite number of universe with alien civilization in it. Why god choose jesus figure only? Other religion people will not accept jesus image to worship. They have their own beliefs on god . For example islam. They will not accept jesus figure in their entire life to pray.

I forgot to post this one a while back, so I am posting it now. Mushroom Trip Report 003 November 29th 2020 1.081g of Golden Teachers Shroom I wanted to test out what 1 gram of golden teachers is like because I only know what the PE strain is like on one gram. I need to create a spreadsheet of all my trips Soaked dat lemon tek for 20 mins Taken at 2:54pm There's probably a lot resistance and fear on this trip because last trip I had an ego death. But this one should be more positive. Waiting for the floor to start moving lol Kinda late but whatever. Intention: Get to the bottom of my limiting belief: "I can't focus" Intention: Using my journal, question my limiting belief around my ADHD and lack of focus. 13 min in Feeling brain activation. 18 min Noticing small amounts of movement in the floor that is definitely the signature shroom movement. 21 min Noticing the pigment in the hands. Not nearly as much as on other trips. 24 min I'm pretty sure my learning ability just increased. Because learning is just creativity. 26 min Feeling Sensitive. Like if I were to be scared I would die right now. 30 min Getting pretty high. Really feel the emotional take over now. It's okay, it was always okay. Emotions heightened. 35min The human hand is really weird. Very alien and foreign. But that's okay because I am that. Feeling of slight nausea. That's mushroom nausea feeling right now. Floor is moving. Reality gets freaky, but I am the freaky. Reality is a great mystery that I must show myself for I am it. The biggest lesson that I have to always tell myself is to surrender and not take myself so seriously. I get way too much anxiety that is created from me trying to be some intense motherfucker when really, it's okay I can relax. I guess that's my fear: the fear of relaxation and in becoming complacent. 42 min Basically in it. Kind of funny, I feel weird cuz I think I feel all of my skin. Looking at the tapestry is Wild. The peak is yet to come. But then I get to slide down a very fun slide. Feeling tired. It must be activating because of my yawning. I am yawning. 47 min Feeling like a creature. I am now answering my questions from my busting limiting beliefs worksheet. Yup it's good shit. You're going to love it. I didn't think it would be this potent. Oh my God Golden Teachers are teaching me what they're made of. Yawning more. I feel so tired and fatigued. I also need to take the duct tape off the vent on the ceiling at some point. Sober me can you please do that? Thank you. >I did it while still high. 51 minutes. My body is feeling heavy. My entire body is able to relax. There is that feeling in my chest that was like anxiety but now it's spread to the whole body and now it has transformed itself into tiredness and relaxation. Yeah I'm pretty much knocked out on this floor. It is 54 minutes in and I've been lying on this floor because I'm so lazy. It's so fucked to write on a piece of paper where all the letters are moving. That mushroom will keep on purging all that bullshit. 59 mins I think we're at the Mountaintop because I am so fucking tired there's so much yawning. >Peak incoming 1h 8 mins Just staring at this tapestry and it's so illuminating and beautiful. Lying down on the floor. "Arts and crafts" while high is always funny >Had to fold some paper to get the tapestry back up, because it fell. Was reflecting back to a time when I had to put duct tape on my VR headset while on a potent dose of THC. Time was created so we can explain why things change into other things. 1h 13 min I just peaked 1h 18 min Another peak The best part is looking at something like a fractal while your vision blurs. You know you're peaking when your vision starts to blur. I'm going to allow myself. To enjoy this. Here is gone. How did that happen? Because I have finally emerged Enjoy this. 1h 56 min High. Yeah I do fear that I'll be seduced by the mushrooms and just become a druggie. Just jerked off completely naked on my bed. Which is something I don't do often at all in my life, maybe two other times. We try to hide that part of reality so much. 2h 18 min I live in a dead world. The only things that are alive are the food that I eat. I need to trip in the middle of a forest what everything around me is alive. I feel like Terence McKenna when he has his glasses on. Just accept yourself. I'm a nerd in my craft. 2 hours and 27 minutes in The reason why I'm scared of looking at my face in the mirror is because I fear that I will see something else, and that's seeing of something else is the death of my self-image that I hold. When really I didn't exist in the first place, and so Fear is the mechanism is that preserves the self. Anxiety is a mechanism that preserves the self. When really the self wasn't there in the first place. And then the shrooms SHOW that to you. ADHD people can Focus just fine. They're just saying ADHD people can't focus because of the way they think, they think differently. >The ADHD brain is the holistic brain. We think like a Christmas tree. That's just a different perception of reality. So instead of focusing on one thing, you focus on one thing with a Christmas tree around it. Existing is like being in a fish tank. Trapped. Confined to this one box. >That was fucking weird to experience. I am truly a curious creature. Gods perspective is all free and all loving. Yeah you're trying to learn how to focus, but you got to enjoy the journey. And listen to some Bob Marley music while you're treading. Enjoy the struggle. Patience is just enjoying the moment. Enjoy that suffering. That is life. What you call suffering is just a duality that you make up in your mind. This is the shroom talking: Reality is fucked. Whoopsie. Did I just fuck with your reality? Oops that's just reality! To try and preserve this perfect moment is to not live in the moment. Trying to remember things, is to not live in the moment. Whatever I fear is my ego trying to push fear forward because if I encounter the thing I feared than the ego would be destroyed. If I stare at my face while peaking on shrooms, my ego will be destroyed. 3 hours in Still high. Eyes very dilated. Trying to remember something is to not live in the present. Experiencing short-term memory, but in a different way than THC. Shrooms: your ego is going to hate it, but your inner being is going to love it. It wouldn't be amazing otherwise. You need that duality to be there for it to work. Imagine living your life as Bob Marley where you just make music and enjoy the moment, and that is your life. That is life. Your life IS the moment. So much for getting to bed on time. Shrooms are silly like green toes and toejam and farts. And it'll step on your silly plans with its dirty green feet. >Then I find myself talking to my mom again, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling and joking around. We are holding eachothers hands and such. We talk and just enjoy the moment. >Later, dad makes an amazing plate of nachos and as a family we watch "Christmas with the Kranks" together. 5h43min Sobering up 6h52min Sobering up more. Life is like a competition of who can be the most happy. What I wrote in my Journal. ###START### Limiting Belief “I can't focus” It all started when I was a small boy diagnosed with ADHD at the same time I was diagnosed with asthma. Being several years on an ADHD medication does a toll on ya. This negative belief came from my childhood after years of taking ADHD medication. Reinforcing a limiting belief that I cannot focus without my medication. Holding this belief protects me like a baby blanket because it protects me from taking responsibility of my life. The ADHD medication IS the baby blanket. An alternative, equally valid interpretation of the facts is that I was already capable of this amount of focus that I desire. I was just given the medication to “behave”. I was always capable of Focus. Right from the start. Right from the start! Just look at other people that lived before me without ADHD medication. ADHD medication is only new to the last 100 years, not even that. ADHD people before you were successful enough for you to be here today. I was always capable of the amount of focus that I desire. I was always able to focus. That limiting belief doesn't exist. It's okay, I love you. ###END### One of the coolest takeaways from my journaling was this: I was always capable of the focus I desired, I just was never given a chance to prove it to myself because I was given medication for so many years starting at such an early age. So it is through my actions now that I am showing myself that I have the ability to cultivate the focus that I desire. Post report: The week following, I doubled my productivity from 3 hours a day to 6 hours of focused work per day.

Forgot to mention this was a re post that's edited from before. For the most part, they don't discuss in too much detail UFOs as some of it is still classified, especially around skin walker ranch. I'm surprised they didn't bring up Colares, the battle for Los Angeles, the roswell crash site, STAR gate although they briefly talked about that, brought up a bit about consciousness, not much about human abductions, or meta materials or Alien psychic abilities.. Basically a mix of rehashed talking points plus talking around points with little elaboration and challenge. I assume it's common in podcasts to not be too challenging or elaborate?

August 23rd 2020 Very first Psycadelic Trip. A lot of this trip is written down as it was happening, and also I came in after and elaborated on certain points so things made more sense. Intention: What is intuition? 1g cubensis Melmac dried magic mushrooms. (I'm definitely more sensitive to substances than the average individual, so this was a great starter dose.) Consumed via Lemon tek (soaked in lemon juice for 20 mins). Didn't taste anything bad. No taste at all really, just the lemon juice when I drank it. Spent extra time to chew it really well. Consumed on an empty stomach. Meditated for 20 minutes watching my thoughts. Made the lemon tek, mediated a bit more. Had a whole lot of anxiety that morning, really fearful of the unknown experience I was able to have. Consumed at 11:10 AM I turned on music and danced to 3 songs. By the third song my emotion really came through and I cried a bit in the emotion. The rest of the time was spent sitting on a couch in the sunroom in the house, I wanted to be close to nature while on this trip, rather than in my basement. As well I wanted to be close to my tripsitter. 30 mins in Grass breathing subtly. 40 minutes Looking at my hand and noticing how foreign it is. Jitteryness Fingers trembling. Noticing all the plumpness and discolouration in the hand. Feeling the shroom creeping in. 11 55 Feeling a strong need to lie down and surrender. There is a place that I fear to go. And it's hauntingly deep. Had that feeling of being sucked back into a dark place that I feared to go. It was very threatening. Probably the most difficult part of the trip here. I went into the open starfish formation to fully surrender, as well as verbally saying "I surrender" 12:00 Nauseous and sinking. Shit is funny. 12:10 Noticing every hair on my arm. The most subtle things in peeling a banana that would go unnoticed I'm noticing. All the nuances in peeling a banana is noticed. 12:15 Noticing how marbled in colour our hands are. Small subtle feelings of nausea. Wanting to move left and right swaying. Have a really hard time to control it. As much as I can throughout the trip I repeatedly ask the question: "What is intuition? What is intuition? What is intuition? What is intuition?" 12:18 Ability to make distinctions in colour has increased. At one point at the peak later, all the green leaves in the garden are the same bright green hue. Still subtle nausea. Strong feeling of being a monkey. Puckering my lips out, showing my teeth. Really noticing a different state of consciousness. I think that's something that's easy to misunderstand about a psycadelic. There's the visuals, but that's like the side effect. Like the heat that is produced from a light bulb; a side effect. The reality is still here but the projector that is me has changed. 12:23 Swirly pattern in the cushion expanding to the whole entire cushion and swaying, swaying. What you focus on, literally grows. My body is part of that swaying. The universe around me feels like an ocean and I'm being pushed by the waves. Really noticing patterns emerge from the cushion. Intuition is so deep. Slow. That's the feeling. It's a whole lot easier to use my voice to type this report while I'm in the middle of the trip. 12:27 Noticing a deep rhythm to the universe. I can see how easy it is to just want to stare at the grass and get lost. Because I know if I stare at something long enough it will start breathing. Just like the floors right now it's moving like a slow river. Hardwood floors flow into several opposite direction Skinny rivers. 12:30 I'm noticing Everything Is Beautiful more than you can imagine. >it's really working to navigate a trip well by saying everything is beautiful. 12:34 You are constantly basking in the sunlight shining on to you at all angles. Infinite hands coming and shielding my face when I close my eyes. Oh my God. 12:38 "Noticing all the patterns in the ceiling and how they are breathing yeah it's really not that bad man, I get Majestic and beautiful yeah holyshit I'm in it I'm in it I love how it's recording my voice while I say this too." Slow. Easy I ask my intuition what is intuition. It tells me to tilt my head up and surrender in the starfish position to open up my body, because my body is a vessel to receive consciousness. It's not even mine. It's not even MY body as my ego would like me to believe. 12:43 Increased trip intensity as I look at the hundred actual birds in my garden. What's the difference between authenticity and intuition? Tons and tons of giggling. I must call everything beautiful to sway this journey. 12:51 If I stare at something long enough it moves. Especially things that are very generic but consistent in pattern. They flow like a river. That's why floors flow. Nausea is gone. But I am a wave now. It's so fucking easy to get distracted haha. If I was an artist I have infinite vision right now. Everytime I close my eyes it's a new vision. Creativity is so enhanced it's something you have to experience to understand. Creativity skyrocketed. 1:00 I close my eyes I notice all the visions of the background of red to yellow. I open my eyes and it's white dominated. The colour White. And it's all moving subtly. I am the room. Reality is a mind fuck. How could we be so foolish the ground ourselves in materialism? It's all one conscious mind. There is no difference between the wall and the tree it's all part of the infinite field. Creativity is skyrocketed. 1:13 I can see that a glimpse of how much deeper I can go I must ask the question: What is consciousness? 1:20 Going to the washroom, walking with a bounce like an ape. 1:25 Intuition is just noticing the push that you are being pushed in. You noticing the waves around you as you are just a part of the ocean. Close my eyes against the pillow for a second. I'm noticing that the left and right eye are like two different Instagram filters. The left eye with the green filter and the right eye with a clear yellow one In order to understand intuition I must understand the infinite intelligence and consciousness. +++big peak+++ 1:41 What is consciousness? Consciousness is all of this that you see. It's so easy to just get distracted and play on Shrooms. 1:48 I've never seen my pupils so dilated. Every time I walk to the bathroom it's just such monkey like in the way I walk. +++ hallucinations are barely apparent now.+++ 1:51 Seeing that you got to be brave to go deep. 1:58 Feeling the now. 2:00 Sight and Sound are literally connected. I can see how that Duality collapses. It would be interesting to see how the movement of reality reacts to music, as I've heard the room moves with the music. 2:03 I can see how it is so easy to distract yourself and get addicted to this experience. It crosses my mind why even contemplate. But I've saw someone fall for that trap before when reading a trip report. So I need to keep getting back on that horse to contemplate. Right now I need to do that. 2:22 The Universe is there for you. The entire experience of eating a banana so funniest fucking thing. Sticking your tongue out, chewing with your mouth wide open, swishing it around in your cheeks. Complete monkey mode. Completely authentic. 2:29 Every action becomes a game. You're being more creative with chewing a banana. You're being more creative in just the way you breathe. Everything just becomes interesting as fuck. 2:37 I noticed looking back earlier on the trip, how I was avoiding the present by opening and closing my eyes. Avoiding going deep. Protecting myself. And I see on a higher dose this will be unavoidable. The eyes closed and the eyes open will collapse, it won't matter, you'll be thrusted into it. Why can't I contemplate Consciousness while rolling on the ground? Why do I have to sit here in a Lotus position? 2:43 I can see when you're given a new perspective, it's so easy to question convention. Because I'm experiencing that new perspective now. Open Mindedness to the sky. It's easy to consider things I would otherwise fear or see as silly to even think of questioning. Shrooms would totally naturally collapse conventional society as a whole. 2:46 "It's not even you when you are surrendering. It's just the way of tuning you into flowing into the water." > When you are surrendering, there is actually no "you" to surrender. You just dissolve the notion of you and merge with the ocean. 2:48 Realizing that the movements that are hallucinations is the duality of solid vs fluid collapsing. 2:52 It's a rule in reality that you must first cross the chasm to reach the field of flowers. This is what the trip feels like. 3:03 I think contemplation becomes very different. You don't think into it, you BE into it. Be as in being. instead of contemplating formally, you BEING into your BEING too solve your BEING. 3:26 Strong urge to drum. 3:36 You need to poke around reality in different ways to explore reality fully. Like rubbing your nose against a couch. 3:43 The barrier that stops me from rolling around in the dirt is a made up one. Why not have fun and just roll around in the dirt, in the love? 4:08 Much earlier I felt like a child playfully roaring at my dog that was growling. 4:54 Noticing the ability to take a strong good look at the burns in your vision after your stare at something too bright for too long. Rather than it escaping your eye when you try to look at it, I was able to get a good solid look at it. That was interesting. How was that even possible lol. 5:51 Noticing the ego clamping down on me with the notion of shame. ___ Visuals Experienced During the Trip A beautiful boat with swirly wood flowering along the sides. An infinite flow of RGB streaks. Infinite deer head with RGB outlines Infinite things. Like a dead wasp I was staring at, then closed my eyes, and it appeared into my vision in an infinite row. Infinite row of 1 foot sized alien bugs crawling up my leg. I noticed some dead bugs on the floor including wasps and bees, and when I close my eyes how an infinite row of wasps was in my vision. But it wasn't scary, it was just beautiful. Because all of reality of beauty. These infinite patterns showed up like two mirrors being put together. Through the red eye of seeing, being able to fly through the world with passing by pieces of consciousness manifesting. ~~Things I've noticed later on that happened earlier ~~ Hugging the chair I'm lying on. With whatever is happening, all I can say is "beautiful". Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. This was great for me to navigate my trip really well. Just everything in my Consciousness is beautiful. I learned how authentic I can really be. To be like a child in authenticy. To be like an ape in authenticy. There is no barrier between me and wanting to roll around in the dirt. That's just a made up one. I noticed how intuition is connected to Consciousness, and that I really needed to contemplate what is consciousness and how to tap into it to understand intuition. I saw intuition as a form of channeling. A light form of channeling. ___ I also had a notebook where I wrote this down. Here's what I wrote. What is intuition? A strong pull. A gut, chest, throat pull. Intuition is deep. Intuition shows you the cracks of light. But it's up to you to travel to the end of the tunnel to realize the entire light. To access intuition, you need to channel. You already are a channel, just open yourself up. It's the subtle ground you take for granted. Question that natural feeling coming from nothingness. Consciousness is an infinite ocean. Just tap into the ever-flowing Rhythm ___ ###Days After Report ### Increased authenticity. Even in the way I walk. Increased interest in realizing my greater identity. Realized this when I talk to other people I still feel alone, and remembering the theory that you are alone and you just create reality and people around you to feel as if you're not alone. How you actually create reality in such a way where you actually feel like you can have some connection with something other than you. But in the end it's only you. Increased interest in the ability to surrender. Increased open mindedness in what I need to surrender to in order to discover truth. Starting to get deeper into wonder about what reality is. Noticing more contentment with what is. Noticing more fascination with the seemingly mundane. I realize I need to be very centered to follow my intuitions Found it quite difficult to consistently Focus while on that trip, so I'm interested in what a research chemical would be like. ??? Questions ¿¿¿ Is it proper to contemplate differently while trying to feel and experience the deeper existential aspects of reality? Stuff that's beyond logic? For example, for the entire trip on inquiring into intuition, I didn't want to contemplate it logically at all, but rather just wanted to experience what came up when I asked the question. How did my trip go? Thoughts?

I think my feelings and thoughts about friends and enemies comes from a place of all these teenage fantasies i built around romance, sex, love and hate. This is where the love for me enemies arises. I don't know why. Part of my life, part of it feels like fantasy. I'm an idealist and partly pragmatist. I weave patterns of both fantasy and reality seamlessly into my life. I don't know how I accomplish this. But I do it anyway. ------------- I'm not sure if this can translate into reality. Of course enemies in real life would want me dead lol. Or at least they would harm me. But my enemies in fantasy probably want to get a kick out of torturing me. ---------- I don't think in real life there's anything like an enemy. It's only someone who is mentally disordered that wants to hurt you. The way I see in stalking situations. Someone being hunted and killed But that's really not coming from animosity. It's just stupid. Why do people hate someone so much, so much that they want to kill? I can never wrap my head around it. Killing in Self defense looks absolutely logical to me. But wanting to kill someone out of jealousy or hate seems so alien and senseless to me.

@BenG it comes in through the underside of reality or the flip side of it and you can have these experiences either if you're really sick or if you almost die or if you take a psychedelic, it can alter things and you can learn to do it that way. It's hard to explain if you haven't had an experience but it's something that I believe that anybody can have, learning about afterlife realms and stuff. The beings that I talk to have said that human beings can learn how to do these things by trying different plant medicines, and different ones have different messages in them and they have been left by alien races to share how to live in peace and die in peace; advance our communication and grow with them. So if you wanted a siddhi all you'd have to do is find the plant that calls to you and feels right when you take it and to go in informed. Siddhis come about in such a personal way; a plant would teach better and know more than a human. My words completely butcher the ability to explain any of what I'm talking about I just can't do it, sorry. There are a few spaces I know of you can learn siddhis in: death, astral, dream, psychedelic - all better teachers than humans. Salvia droid art explains my experiences best but they are physical and mental not so much visual. Death or sickness is one of the best ways to get a siddhi and you will hear many people who have had near-death experiences come back with gifts. ^starts out looking like this place, it's like a great big nothing with stars representing consciousnesses aka beings that have no bodies, just hanging out waiting to share stuff with other life forms. Most of them are in feeling, but some people get full visuals of them.

Dude calm down, you are confused here about what GOD is, God is not some force either, you have a poor definition of God and emptiness is NOT beyond or prior to, if you believe so, I suggest you actually study what God is, an experience is not even necessary in this case. If emptiness is prior to or beyond GOD, then you could call it the magic unicorn- fart alien flying spaghetti monster because it is not real and something you made up just now. Btw, if this is not clear by now, this is my "opinion" you don't have to care at all about what I say. You can believe emptiness all you want, but I sincerely disagree with your conclusions.