UNZARI

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About UNZARI

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    NV
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  1. Forgot to mention I’ve been eating lots of nuts and oats as snacks. I hope that’s a good start. Ideally I want my meals to be meat and veggies and have nuts as snacks. I’m honestly intimidated by trying to eat healthy because of how many conflicting ideas there are which is why I want something simple and intuitive to my body.
  2. I’m 20 years old and have finally gotten on food stamps so I can afford to buy more food. I’ve been eating complete garbage for over a year because Ive been poor and struggle with bouts of depression I can tell my body just wants good meat and vegetables. I don’t want some ridiculous diet with 3,000 supplements and super foods. I just want good ol meat and veggies what are some good easy dishes I can start with? What are some options I can have so I don’t get tempting to go back to junk food? im open to really most things just as long as it’s not too expensive or hard to prepare (for now at least) thanks!
  3. I finally have the house to myself. But I was getting depressed because all I did today was sit inside. I started thinking about the fun stuff I used to do and became really upset In the midst of all this a powerful silence came over me. Everything was so still. There was a great sense of relief. But then it kept getting more real. I had the sensation that I was seeing what was really there, behind the veil of my mind it was an existential terror that I had gotten from weed many times years ago. But this time I breathed deep and accepted it. When it passed, it was just a matter of fact. My mind was telling story after story and I couldn’t see past it until now
  4. As the title says I’ve been cutting corners at my new job. I’m worried at some point they will have had enough and I’ll get fired. I work as someone in charge of a store’s inventory and boxes. I don’t completely fuck them over everyday by any means. I do my job completely well majority of the time. But there are times where I know I’m bullshitting them or making excuses so I have an easier day. today was one of those days. I didn’t fill the cash register with enough change so they were short, and I didn’t bring enough boxes to one of the stores. It’s not the end of the world because the stores aren’t that busy so they can send someone else if they really need to. But I of course still bad. Feels icky. Made things confusing for someone. I have chronic fatigue from a suspected infection, and I’m seeing a doctor this week. In the moment I know what the right thing to do is, but I’m so fucking lethargic that the idea of doing it is monumental. Some days I kill it at work, others I just want to work bare minimum then go home. Any thoughts?
  5. @SonataAllegro I slowly told her when i first started to work on the problem. She was very accepting and non judgmental. I tried to do it in a way that wasn’t too overbearing. But I’m sure I came off as pathetic sometimes (which only adds to my insecurities lol). But for about 2 months I’ve barely talked about how I feel so I think I do need to just express that I’m dealing with the fallout of what went on
  6. My self esteem has been very very low the past 6 months. I was practically unemployed barely scraping by and I almost never left the house. The cherry on top was when my girlfriend expressed how bad it affected her. It broke my heart and I knew I needed to change or she would leave me. In the past month I’ve made large strides in changing. I have 2 jobs now. I buy her gifts and go out with her all the time. I will also finally start therapy next month. But the past couple of months were pretty traumatizing in a way. I became very suicidal, and didn’t really tell anyone about it. To be clear, I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life. I just haven’t had suicidal thoughts until all of this. It felt like I had ruined all the goods things I had in my life. So even though I’m doing better now, I’m still suffering through all of these feelings of anguish, self loathing, and paranoia. Sometimes I feel better about myself, but other times I feel very insecure. What are some things I can start doing today that will help? Thank you
  7. I’ve been struggling with the realization that my art doesn’t matter. Most of the time I can get past it. But sometimes it really hurts me. if I spend years learning to paint and to perfect that craft. My painting MIGHT just hang on someone’s wall. Maybe a few people will think it’s pretty then move on with their day. at least if I was a really good musician my songs could make people cry or make them happy. to be clear, I make music and visual art. Sometimes it just seems like what the hell is the point? Yes I do get joy from making it , but sometimes the finished work is just meaningless
  8. Today I had an emotional burst and did a lot of crying and letting go. I realized how many negative stories and beliefs I had been holding for so long. Your mind can tell you anything. You often don’t even question it, because it’s you! You trust yourself right? Think again, and again. Youll convince yourself that your negative stories are somehow helpful or making progress when they themselves are the problem. Of course it goes much deeper than this but I can’t even articulate the rest into words. Our minds are so crazy it’s scary.
  9. I’m not sure how long it will last. I’ve only ever seen this on MDMA. Everyone is me. I don’t mean it conceptually I’m staring at my girlfriend recognizing she is me. Deep empathy. I’ve been scarred, we have all have at different degrees. We push away love. We can’t see it. I probably will fall back into the illusion again until I come around but that’s okay. what a gift
  10. Dude stop taking yourself so seriously. I get that it can get under your skin, but if you were truly confident in your preferences, you could just laugh it off. They probably provoke you because you care too much
  11. @Sahil Pandit thats the thing.. I have a decent portfolio full of work but most of it is pretty strange (lots of people like it) but I doubt it would appeal to any companies. What I lack I think is just doing jobs for many different people. But to be honest, ideally I want to make stuff for bands/musicians in some way. I’m even making music myself just to bridge the gap so I can make sick album covers and merch for myself lol. Perhaps I can find a place that focuses on art for musicians, or make one. I would hate to work for some boring corporate place
  12. I’ve been doing graphic design for 4 years now (since I was 16, 20 now). I am tired of these dead end jobs and being broke. I have ADHD and am still in the process of getting help for it, I’ve been in a rough spot stuck trying to find jobs at the same time. I’m living off of my savings right now and doordash so I’m okay, but I want to take my graphic design to a new level. I’ve had several people (strangers) tell me I’m their favorite artist. I know I can really fucking do this. I can do commercial or personal designs. I’ve had this skill for so long I somehow didn’t consider it was profitable. If you guys can help with any advice, gameplans, links, or anything like that it would be greatly appreciated! I’m tired of being a nobody
  13. @Tim R wow thanks I never thought of it like that. Humans are in quite a bind huh. We have a natural force in us that clouds our vision of our own selves as love. Crazy to wrap your head around
  14. @Leo Gura lol good point. I guess the solution is to admire from a distance? Have a rational caution of your surroundings but love as much as possible
  15. Is it possible to make yourself into a vessel of love? I’ve done MDMA, acid, and shrooms and there’s always been a moment or the entire trip where the veil of ego gets ripped down and all I see is love. Anyone around me I instantly express my gratitude to, and the place I’m in becomes magical in every way. I haven’t tripped in a while but just now I had this love realization again, and it always puts tears of joy in my eyes. Love is all that matters in the end. Why does the human ego not like love all the time? It makes you and everyone around you feel good, so how is love not practical for an ego?