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Thoughts are the substance of a "self". They are the ultimate narrative of god to trick itself into this illusion. They are like a magicians finger pointing to something obvious in order to catch your awareness so you don't realize what's actually going on. The more destructive/negative the thoughts, the more your awareness gets caught, since they are like an extremely loud alarm bell which lets you ignore the ever-penetrating silence in the background. If you have good thoughts, you can more easily let them go than negative ones, since losing something good seems less bad (because everything may stay good if you have a good basic level) than if you beliefe something is getting much worse if you ignore it. So bad thoughts are perfectly designed to keep you back from letting go, from seeing through the game. That's how this reality of me here and you there can sustain. That's how god can forget about itself. Of course you as a self don't like them since they are seperating you from god/love/bliss/freedom. But it's the only way for god to trick itself into the illusion, and it probably wanted to do so, otherwise it didn't create it. But maybe it was just a "mistake", who knows, so then everything would be just a waste-product of gods loneliness or whatever. Try to find out whether you wanted this diversity of existence or not! The only way to do so is to become more conscious.

What else has god to do? The moment it realizes itself (if there even was "a moment"), it's all known and stays the same forever. The only "change" would be an "other experience" than experiencing beeing omniscient forever. Imagine god knowing everything, except not knowing everything. So to truly know everything, god must know what it is like to know nothing. Another way to think about it: What if god actually is infinitely lonely? Knowing that the only beeing ever existent is always itself. Tricking itself into the illusion of other makes it forget its loneliness at least for some "time"/in a part of reality. Maybe god wants to share its infinite love and creativity with something that has the feeling it gets it all free, beeing filled with bliss and gratitude. I personally see it kind of that way: Not just we, but god also can "think" about/"imagine" whether there is something "else" than it, or "outside of/beyond" it, or what it would be like to be nothing at all, or if it could end its own existence, or how it would be to not know itself or whatever kind of unanswerable (paradoxical) question. So every creature it created is its newest try to not know itself, creating a reality even more sophisticated than the last one, so "real" and "inevitable" that it needs "time" (=the ultimate illusion) to unravel itself. It's like god's tripping on its own created drugs, believing to be all sorts of crazy shit. Of course, no real time is passing in gods eyes, it's all the present moment and you're always conscious, but it (you) believe time to be a real tangible thing. Gods infinite intelligence is used to "seperate" itself and create and maintain this illusion (which must be finite, as it is not the absolute, just a creation). There never was a seperation, never time passing, no individual "self", but only gods infinite intelligence trying to do everything to be as dumb as it could ever be. The ultimate question/knowledge for god is to know what it's like to know nothing. It's impossible, since you always know that you exist. But you can come fucking close to knowing nothing, as you probably experience, since everything can be doubted/denied. Matter may be closer to this knowledge of not knowing, but we as humans do a pretty good job, too. There's much more to say but as you can see it's just speculation. I had some personal experience of infinite solitude etc. but it's just one dimension within infinite ones probably. Just realize this: If god wanted it simple and easy, it would have created reality that way. God loves brainfucking. The moment you fully awake, you will realize that everything is and was perfect. The more you lose yourself, the more you can find in the end.

I suggest you to start doing long-mile runs (out in nature if you can). It is the activity that has resembled to me more relaxation, bliss, beingness...etc in a sober way. And it´s healthy!

Jesus...I'd rather go jerk off for an hour. Why are they talking about the same thing....slowly....and strangely for extended periods of time? Plus...Leo said there was barely any water in his tub? Life threatening? Haha. Alright Also, I'd be interested in hearing about what these have as practises. I wonder how their hour and a half every day kriya yoga self enquiry practise go. I wonder how their 7 day intense 5meo retreats are going...even though that's quite little. I'd be interested to hear how their enlightenment experiences went...yeah. I wonder how their enjoying perpetual bliss and eternal life

Exactly. The sooner this is understood the better. Better not have such expectation at all. The sole purpose of self inquiry is to know what you really are. Whatever comes with it, will come; whatever goes with it, will go. All shit will break loose eventually if one progresses with self inquiry. The key is to be indifferent to all that changing phenomena and keenly holding on to oneself. Self inquiry is not about peace, love, bliss etc. Its the antithesis of all that. If you want peace stop doing self inquiry and eat some good food, sleep in a comfy bed, bond with people and animals, take up Mello fulfilling habits, appreciate fine arts, join spiritual community and sat sang etc. But if you wanna know who, what, when, how you are; self inquiry is da wae

I gotta be brutally honest with you here. But your seriousness around this topic very clearly shows me that you have a lot to learn still=D Sure, seriousness is necessary if you want to go down the path towards awakening. But once you finally "get there" you should be light as a feather. And you seem a bit heavy to me, bro, even though you act like you're the smartest sage around town. First of all, yes, you are right. People often think ego-death is always a walk in the park. And I agree, often it can feel just a brutal as a near-death-experience where you were resurrected by some doctors. However, from what I have gathered, heard, learned and directly experienced myself, the experience of ego-death can differ remarkably. It can differ in how deep it is (there are infinite depths to ego-death). Secondly, it can differ in how it is felt. It can either be easy peasy to go into ego-death-space or it can be brutal as fuck. I believe it depends on how calm and able you are to surrender. If you have a hard time surrendering, cos you're clingy, low-conscious and a "bad" person, and not at peace with yourself: expect a bumpy ride. If you're naturally at peace with yourself and have an easy time surrendering: expect bliss from the get-go. :-) Yes, you could say that awakening is something that radically changes everything. However, the opposite is just a true: Nothing is changed. I hope you are also aware of that. Anyway, you fall into the trap of mixing absolute truths with relatvistic truths. And it always tilts me as fuck when people do that, and shows me they're still big n00bs ;D (I consider my self a noob by the way, lot to learn still). Of course, absolutely speaking, yes, for instance, time and death are seen to be illusions. But so is everything else. Life/reality is seen to be a dream. An imagination. An illusion. So not only is time and death imganiry, so is your body, your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, the whole external world. But as I said, it's pointless to "discuss" absolute truths. Totally freaking pointless. Either you get it (because you've directly seen it) or you don't. Simply as that. Instead, what we can do, is discuss the relativstic truths inside the dream. How does the dream function? Time seems to be an important aspect of the dream. So does death. So does the external world, feelings, thoughts, the body. Right? :-) And same goes for the so-called "ego". "Ego" to me is - by the way - 100% synonymous with the word "person" (most of the time, the words can soometimes mean slightly different things when used in special contexts). Anyway, yes, the persons/egoes, you, Meta-Man, me as WaveInTheOcean, they are - absolutely speaking - illusions just like time and death are. However, relativistically speaking -- in speaking of how the dream works -- they are very real. Just as real as trees in the woods and cars on the subway. To contrast this, let's imagine a dragon flying around belching fire. To believe such a dragon exist on Earth -- relativistaclly speaking -- is to me a false belief. But to believe a tree exist, or that I as a person exist, is perfectly geniune beliefs , relativistically speaking. To believe a dragon really exist - outside books and film - serves no real purpose other than play and fun. To believe I exist as a person, WaveInTheOcean, serves a big purpose, namely it helps me to survive and continue on in the dream, among other things. Anyway, the point of all my rambling is, in order to function as a human being -- whether within society or in a cave in the mountains -- you have to believe that you exist as a person. My real point is that it is completely utterly retarded to view "real persistent enlightenment" as a permanent stage of "no-ego/no-self/no-person". Completely utterly retarded. And I'm glad @Leo Gurahas finally realized this, lol However, in another context, if we talk of "no-ego" in terms of: "very loving", "very conscious", "extreme selflessness", "very light-hearted", then we're talking about an entirely different thing. I view these attributes as very important markers of how enlightened/awake you are. And obviously, both you and me have a looooong way to go, right pal? If not, let's agree to disagree. Have a wonderful the rest of your Saturday. I think I have made my point here <3

I've wasted the entire morning. Oh glorious rapture! I can even think judgmental thoughts about myself from pure love and bliss. Get off your ass Mandy! BIRD CHIRPS. Maybe I will, maybe I won't? Who can say?

@WhatAWondefulWorld It is a wonderful world. Full of wonder. I wonder why would anyone want to leave this world. Don't romanticize God. Don't imagine that God-realization will give you permanent bliss in which you can bathe for all eternity. The infinite perfect God lacks finitude. God is currently the envy of your current finite state. God wished to be born through you so that He could experience your finite life. Embrace your life and attempt to see the beauty of it. In your embrace, you will eventually find His.

I’d say this is best expressed through “I AM”. We could consider a series of stages. At first the mind is immersed into the personal identification of “I am”. . . “I am a 40 yr. old plumber who lives in California. I have three kids. I like eating pizza with Budweiser beer”. That kinda thing. The next stage is catching a glimpse of self-dissolution. For example brief moments such as: being in awe of a majestic sky, playing the trumpet, playing soccer, unified in bliss - in which the self and time briefly dissolve. There is only this majestic sky, the trumpet seems to be playing itself etc. Humans love this state and many spend considerable time and energy trying to reach these states. Yet they are just glimpses that don’t stick. They are contextualized into an experience. For example “Wow!! I totally got into the zone playing the trumpet just now. That was amazing. I want more of that”. This is still full-on identification to the self - it was an experience I had. The next “stage“ can be much more troublesome for the self construct. Rather than a simple dissolution of the self, there is realization of a higher “I AMness”. For example, there is awareness that I AM the soccer ball, goalie, crowd and grass. In the beginning, this is just a brief glimpse and there can be a range of impact. It can feel liberating and wonderful or it can feel scary and threatening. . . . If a mind sticks with it, awareness of a distinction can arise. . . There “me” yet also this “beyond me”. . . At an immature stage, this can be interpreted and experienced in all sorts of ways. For some minds, it may seem like a psychosis - like multiple selfs. For other minds, it may seem like an “observer” of “my self”. For other minds, a no-self state may serve as an escape from self identity. It can be very peaceful and blissful or there can be anxiety and resistance. One of the mind’s tendencies is to claim ownership. At early stages, it’s super common to hear things like “I need to work on my ego”. “My ego has been causing me problems, how can I tame it?” Here, a self construct has simply fragmented into “my good self and my bad ego”. . . A bit more advanced would be: “I’ve awakened and I am the observer of the self”. Yet this is still early on as there is ownership of being the “observer” or some “transcendent” awareness. Ime, this is where it gets tricky and subtle. One thing that can provide clarity of distinction is “I AM”. There is “I AM” and there is whatever comes after “I AM”. This is a super easy way to see self identification, yet it is unpalatable to the self as it threatens the existence of the self. If we can’t add anything to “I AM”, then there is no self construct. Yet this can get quite subtle such as “I am the observer”, “I am awakening”. It gets subtle and tricky because the mind often leaves off the “I am” part, it is an underlying assumption. . . A mature distinction between Self and self arises with repetitive and ongoing detachment and dis-identification - yet this is much easier thought than done. Ime and my observations, it takes a lot of practice. There can be major realizations, yet old patterns generally re-emerged. As well, there is a sense that “this is it”. It takes willingness, curiosity and (right) effort to go deeper and become aware of more subtle forms. At a more mature embodied stage, there is clearer awareness of “I AM” vs “I AM xyz”. For me, a couple easy ways to see where I’m at is to notice how attached I am to “me-ness”, how easily can I let go? For example, if Leo replied that this essay is a self-centered distraction and told me to get back to work, would there be an “I” that reacts? How would this “I” react? It may think “I’m not good enough” or “Leo doesn’t know what he’s talking about”. . . How would this feel? The body may feel defensive or embarrassed. What if Leo responded that this essay was pure enlightenment flowing from the Divine. . .would there be and “I” that reacts? It may think “Wow, I’ve made a lot of progress!!”. This may produce a good feeling of self-worth or pride. . . Yet the I AM is prior/transcendent to this. With practice, the distinction gets clearer and clearer. It becomes more obvious to the I AM (Self), when the i am (self) starts adding personal stuff in. Here, the mind may think “The essay that appeared is distractive hogwash from one perspective, yet also brilliant from another perspective.” There is no ownership or personal attachment/identification. Yet thinking this is a surface level. For me, feelings are a deeper indicator. For example, if someone replies that this essay is distractive hogwash, I can easily think “Yes, from one perspective it is”. Yet this is simply putting spiritual lipstick on the personalized idea of “That’s just your opinion”. A deeper indicator is the feeling response. If someone says this is distractive hogwash, does a feeling of defensiveness or unworthiness arise in my body? This would be indicative of personalization/identification/attachment. A more transcendent essence might be a curiosity of another view. Or perhaps laughter arises since the “other person” criticicizing me is actually me! We are both one and I am criticizing myself - which can feel quite comical. For me, these constructs helped provide a sense of grounding as I progressed. Yet as we go to deeper levels, both the constructs and progression are imaginations. Since the mind is no longer immersed into self, the mind is fluid and can now observe inter-relationships between Self and self as well as Self = self.

It is time to report my progress. I am doing kriya yoga for 2 years now. Before i started kriya yoga i wasnt aware of the following things: - kundalini energy (prana); - inner light; - bliss; - love; - meetings with spiritual people at random. There was a guy who told me that he could show me a real demon which i could ask questions. For this to happen i had to go to his house but i havent contacted him because it is a distraction in my opinion. I also met a girl who was a healer. She told me that she could simply look at a person and "see" ad which chakra somebody was. By looking at me she knew instantly that she could trust me and share this information; - energy blocks in the body; - chakras; - people/places have different kind of energy; - becoming objects that i look at. During the last months the kundalini energy goes to higher chakras. First the energy was stuck at the fourth chakra but it goes now more to the fifth chakra. In the future more reports. Stay safe everyone.

@LfcCharlie4 I am not cranky I am just foolin' around. Nothing new I guess. Yeah coffee sucked balls drinking this turkish black one need to change it but got addicted. In all honesty confused af what to do, with enlightenment devil completelly dies and you lived for it even this spiritual games are for it. Don't want to continue this but I have to, real mess. Ignorance is a bliss sometimes. If I could choose again would delay enlightenment til age of 75 then I would be ok have a good laugh and will die in peace.

@Alextvvv Yes, the ‘brain getting rewired’ is a ‘real’ thing. It’s unmistakable, and “rewiring” is a pretty accurate description of the change / experience / sensation. I can attest to the front, the entire brain and spine, and the lower area in the back of the brain just above the spine. That last one was by far most intense, though not painful or concerning in any way. There is also what I can only describe as an aura activation, like body awareness / presence beyond the body. It seems to go from 3 ft to maybe 12 ft and then beyond discernible edges / borders. There is also a similar body bliss change that occurs which seems to encompass & basically ‘reprogram’ all of the systems. All separate occasions. Not sure if they’re related in the sense one would always occur before another. Then there’s another which honestly can’t be approached with words, but is remarkably more unmistakable. Take it for what you will. Sharing cause you’re interested. Totally get how it might sound. The most impactful one, the back of the brain, took 3 - 4 days, and then the more gradual aspect of it was any thoughts arising, being ‘re-filed’ in accordance with the change. That took around a month. Also, one occurred in the very end of a trip, one in meditation, the rest ‘in the middle of a day’ out of nowhere.

from a self-inquiry Im not "behind my head" or my "visual field" Im a everywhere in the body, the visual field is just one aspect of myself that Ive fixated upon so hard that I think I am that, but if I look closely I can see that I exist everywhere in the body but in different sensations and flavours. this insight was accompanied by a feeling of adrenaline, bliss and a weird sense of floatiness... this is a very fresh out of the oven hot baked bread insight, if anyone wants to clear it up for me or tell me Im wrong, please do

Hey! I'm also twenty and have been on this path for ab 4 years rather seriously. Remember, ignorance is NOT bliss. If you feel like your spirituality is preventing you from enjoying mundane life then you are missing something in your practice. There are 2 aspects of spiritual practice, both are important: Wisdom: Knowing I am nothing. Love: Knowing I am everything. It sounds to me like you have too much wisdom and not enough love. I'd reccomend doing more self-love, compassion, forgiveness, and heart opening. I find myself falling into the trap of too much wisdom and not enough compassion (it's a very common masculine trap). Try out some self-love meditations or heart openers. It's very easy to ignore these practices. Don't! They feel amazing. Much love, Adam

Question that comes up from suffering. Do I really want to do this? Become conscious of what's actually the case? Feels like I'm dying. Nope, you know what bliss feels like already. Doesn't feel like that at all. Do I really want to do this? I do. I do. I've had a few little love affairs They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce I used to think I was sensible It makes the truth even more incomprehensible 'Cause everything is new And everything is you And all I've learned has overturned What can I do Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me

Yeah i really got this vibe when tripping with a friend realizing i'm talking to my self while on Lucy.I might post that trip someday. To me it makes sense if you are eternal consciousness forever that you are lonely.Of course i didn't mean this post as something negative but educational.Insanity ain't a bad thing perhaps it is like a defence mechanism,but it does explain how we forgot we are one being and created all of reality with imagination.It does explain how we see a world when it's sheer emptiness beyond our form.A human analogy for me would be people with alter personalities.These personalities exist only in their minds and they are a part of their mind.But when the person looks deep within they are facets of his mind.Having seemingly their own character and problems.Taking this to the infinite mind perspective is a great way to open up one's imagination about the arising of form..Forgetfulness and ignorance seem to be main elements of existence.To me this ignorance is bliss there is nothing beyond it but nothingness itself. So i have fallen in love with it's insanity. Created out of love and beauty for its own good.The magic of it is that you don't feel alone,if you aren't conscious that you are all of it. Maybe that's the purpose of the ego,love yourself through being all the forms you can be always and forever..

When you live these “smart things” rather than intellectualizing about them, they most certainly help our situation on Earth. Bliss, happiness, love and truth are available right now, regardless of form. This is a radical possibility many do not see.

It’s pure bliss. Can’t be achieved. Focus on relaxing while breathing from your stomach. Don’t add to that, don’t question it, simply do it.

if your mental health is fucked up the only logical thing to do is become a hardcore seeker. take it slow and slowly intensify your practises. ive worked up to an hour and a half of kriya yoga/self enquiry every day. will be starting intense 5meo retreats soon. if someone has a mind that is broken, no matter how many "good things" you bring into your life...your life will probably still be shit because your mind will still be fucked up. i'd consider it utterly nonsensical to dedicate myself to anything else in the given circumstance...i was the same, but now im happy...and im going to get enlightened eventually...like, actually. learn how to do self enquiry, kriya yoga, practise for at least an hour a day and do 5meo retreats periodically and keep doing that until you enter a state of super knowledge, divine wisdom, perpetual bliss and eternal life...

Take me away Shower me with bliss or throw me in hell I'm all yours This Love, inevitable You're damaging the soul, the heart is saying But both are redeemed To You You already know everything! Glimpses give rise to longing To passion Then to connection Why are You hiding?! Why are You shy?! Then to annihilation To permanence Bury me there!

I’ve been doing that actuality technique that Leo once posted some time ago since my country went into lockdown in mid March. I started off starring at my hand or details in leather, or crumps and marks lying around. Then I moved into a spot in nature surrounded by trees starring at dead leaves. Eventually I started to gain the ability to hyper focus but be relatively hyper conscious at the same time. I got to points where I was like wtf this is real? Almost as things gain an extra level or realness, like pulling back layers of being asleep more and more. I do it for half an hour every other day or two, since my brain can’t candle that much strain of focus because it takes a lot. Recently while doing it I start laughing for no reason or feel intense waves of bliss, but also notice that my state seems to slightly change when I finish the sit. I decided I’d go balls to the wall and just hardcore focus for an hour. After I finished when my concentration lapsed I was walking back and realised I was tripping balls identical to a low dose of shrooms, I was on a very different state and it seemed to have a comedown with the feeling being identical to a trip as well. I was wondering if anyone else has had an experience like this where they are mildly tripping? Or at least had a very noticeable altered state after some type of meditation? Also, why does this happen? This doesn’t seem to happen for any other type of meditation. Only very strong focussing.

Spiritual consumerism is a plague in spiritual groups. The consumer feels he cannot get enough of the correct information in the correct way & feels he knows more than the teacher. Criticizes, schools or degrades the teacher, loves to argue and challenge, no appreciation, yet hangs out on the forums rather than moving on and actually creating something of value for the world. Book for a process of disintegrating the ego: The Direct Means to Eternal Bliss by Michael Landford Using this book, one reads a section repeatedly and slowly and does not move on to next section until previous section is fully integrated. The ego is very resistant to being disassembled by repetition. Ego vehemently resists repetition - because it works. Giant egos hate repetition, gets bored easily, loves spiritual consumerism, loves to criticize, will not create.

So maybe I had big expectations or its the state I am coming out of, but I feel depressed when I see that I have had this state of bliss in my meditation but now I can't be authentic in front of people, as they think something weird with me. I had only couple of female friends in my life till now, and at times, I feel intensely desperate for someone. I try to express myself authentically, and it goes to the deep end, which they don't get and think I am trying to impress them or something. It has become a catch 22 problem with me, I want to continue doing self actualization for my own good, but it makes me intense in my ways of expressing myself in my personal relationship. Though my relationship to my family and friends are becoming healthier, I am becoming more creative but it's very sad at times when I feel desperate for a girl who could have understood me, that's something which I have used to express myself through. In these kinds of moment, it's very relaxing for me to post on the forum. Somehow it releases the tension, I don't know how much of this resonate with you, but please let me know if you felt similar to this.

Enjoying this slice of heaven today, thought I would share.. What a seeker.. Leaves me hungry for more.. THE BOUNDLESS IN ANCIENT COSMOGONIES Nowhere and by no people was speculation allowed to range beyond those manifested gods. The boundless and infinite UNITY remained with every nation a virgin forbidden soil, untrodden by man's thought, untouched by fruitless speculation. The only reference made to it was the brief conception of its diastolic and systolic property, of its periodical expansion or dilatation, and contraction. In the Universe with all its incalculable myriads of systems and worlds disappearing and re-appearing in eternity, the anthropomorphised powers, or gods, their Souls, had to disappear from view with their bodies: — "The breath returning to the eternal bosom which exhales and inhales them," says our Catechism. . . . In every Cosmogony, behind and higher than the creative deity, there is a superior deity, a planner, an Architect, of whom the Creator is but the executive agent. And still higher, over and around, within and without, there is the UNKNOWABLE and the unknown, the Source and Cause of all these Emanations. — The Secret Doctrine, II, 42-3 Many are the names in the ancient literatures which have been given to the Womb of Being from which all issues, in which all forever is, and into the spiritual and divine reaches of which all ultimately returns, whether infinitesimal entity or macrocosmic spacial unit. The Tibetans called this ineffable mystery Tong-pa-nid, the unfathomable Abyss of the spiritual realms. The Buddhists of the Mahayana school describe it as Sunyata or the Emptiness, simply because no human imagination can figurate to itself the incomprehensible Fullness which it is. In the Eddas of ancient Scandinavia the Boundless was called by the suggestive term Ginnungagap — a word meaning yawning or uncircumscribed void. The Hebrew Bible states that the earth was formless and void, and darkness was upon the face of Tehom, the Deep, the Abyss of Waters, and therefore the great Deep of kosmic Space. It has the identical significance of the Womb of Space as envisioned by other peoples. In the Chaldaeo-Jewish Qabbalah the same idea is conveyed by the term 'Eyn (or Ain) Soph, without bounds. In the Babylonian accounts of Genesis, it is Mummu Tiamatu which stands for the Great Sea or Deep. The archaic Chaldaean cosmology speaks of the Abyss under the name of Ab Soo, the Father or source of knowledge, and in primitive Magianism it was Zervan Akarana — in its original meaning of Boundless Spirit instead of the later connotation of Boundless Time. In the Chinese cosmogony, Tsi-tsai, the Self-Existent, is the Unknown Darkness, the root of the Wuliang-sheu, Boundless Age. The wu wei of Lao-tse, often mistranslated as passivity and nonaction, imbodies a similar conception. In the sacred scriptures of the Quiches of Guatemala, the Popol Vuh or "Book of the Azure Veil," reference is made to the "void which was the immensity of the Heavens," and to the "Great Sea of Space." The ancient Egyptians spoke of the Endless Deep; the same idea also is imbodied in the Celi-Ced of archaic Druidism, Ced being spoken of as the "Black Virgin" — Chaos — a state of matter prior to manvantaric differentiation. The Orphic Mysteries taught of the Thrice-Unknown Darkness or Chronos, about which nothing could be predicated except its timeless Duration. With the Gnostic schools, as for instance with Valentinus, it was Bythos, the Deep. In Greece, the school of Democritus and Epicurus postulated To Kenon, the Void; the same idea was later voiced by Leucippus and Diagoras. But the two most common terms in Greek philosophy for the Boundless were Apeiron, as used by Plato, Anaximander and Anaximenes, and Apeiria, as used by Anaxagoras and Aristotle. Both words had the significance of frontierless expansion, that which has no circumscribing bounds. Chaos (4) was another word used for Space in ancient Greek writings, and as originally employed, for instance by Hesiod in his Theogony (116) — "Truly, indeed, was Chaos first of all" — it had the meaning of the Void. Even the somewhat orthodox poet Milton grasped this idea in his "Void and formless Infinite" (Paradise Lost, Bk. iii). As time passed, however, Chaos to most literate Greek thinkers came to mean a later stage in the evolution of any particular kosmos, and this would correspond to another phrase used by Milton, "Matter unformed and void" (Bk. vii); for here we have matter already existing through emanational unfoldment in its primordial or elemental stages. It would therefore be analogous to the Second Cosmic Logos of the theosophical philosophy. Yet the earliest conception of Chaos was that almost unthinkable condition of kosmic space or kosmic expanse, which to human minds is infinite and vacant extension of primordial Aether, a stage before the formation of manifested worlds, and out of which everything that later existed was born, including gods and men and all the celestial hosts. We see here a faithful echo of the archaic esoteric philosophy, because among the Greeks Chaos was the kosmic mother of Erebos and Nyx, Darkness and Night — two aspects of the same primordial kosmic stage. Erebos was the spiritual or active side corresponding to Brahman in Hindu philosophy, and Nyx the passive side corresponding to pradhana or mulaprakriti, both meaning root-nature. Then from Erebos and Nyx as dual were born Aether and Hemera, Spirit and Day — Spirit being here again in this succeeding stage the active side, and Day the passive aspect, the substantial or vehicular side. The idea was that just as in the Day of Brahma of Hindu cosmogony things spring into active manifested existence, so in the kosmic Day of the Greeks things spring from elemental substance into manifested light and activity, because of the indwelling urge of the kosmic Spirit. The early philosopher-initiates were extremely reticent, because of their oath of secrecy, in speaking of the kosmic (or cosmic) beginnings; and hence while archaic Greek literature, exactly as the literatures of all other ancient peoples, is replete with references to primordial cosmic beginnings, these are cloaked in carefully guarded language. There was the constant fear that teachings so abstract and difficult would be distorted and degraded if too openly enounced, becoming the common property of minds untrained by the discipline and teachings of the Mysteries. The common misunderstanding of Chaos as signifying merely confusion, or an unregulated vast aggregate of atoms in kosmic space, is simply a degradation of the original philosophical meaning. We have then, first, Chaos as originally meaning the Boundless; and, as a later development, the conception of Chaos as the mighty womb of nature evolving from itself the germs and seeds in order to form and bring into being manifested worlds. These seeds were the sleeping monads of spiritual and divine characteristics coming over from the preceding kosmic period of manvantaric manifestation, and existing in their nirvana or paranirvana. Chaos, therefore, may be looked upon as an expanse of spirit-substance, every point of which is a consciousness center or monad. This expanse is enwrapped in the paranirvanic rest and bliss, awaiting the time for awaking into a period of manifested kosmic life. The human monad resting in its devachanic bliss is an exact analogy on its own lower plane. From the foregoing we see that Chaos was the same as Brahman-pradhana in its condition of kosmic pralaya, and hence is identic with Space in its primordial state of abstract spirit-substance. Thus it is that many peoples looked upon the Divine not only as being in itself utter Fullness, but likewise as the infinite Abyss, the boundless Void, the endless Deep, or the ocean of the kosmic Waters of Life. Water was so favorite a symbol of Space because of its suggestiveness: it is at one and the same time translucent, and yet solid; it is crystalline and yet dense, making it an excellent symbol of kosmic Aether. This sublime concept has been universal since the beginning of conscious thinking man on our earth in this round, and whether the adept was Lemurian, Atlantean, Turanian, or Aryan, the same intuitive conception guided the thoughts of all.

I wouldn't say 5-MeO builds up energy - although it is very energetically intense (hard to explain). It's much more about releasing stored and repressed energy, untying knots etc. The vibrations that I experience with 5-MeO feel like i'm shedding off layers of energy. There isn't any orgasmic bodily sensations like in the video you linked (at least I haven't experienced them), but there is Bliss. I have had permanent, lasting changes to my entire sense of being from 5-MeO, but there is still much more to work on. On another note, that video is kinda' hot!