Aaron p

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About Aaron p

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  • Birthday March 1

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    Northern Ireland
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  1. @Shaun if you ever become lucid while dreaming, becoming aware of the fact that you are dreaming doesn't remove you from the dream...you should enjoy the dream and use your new knowledge to your advantage
  2. @thesmileyone sounds good to me. I had an insight that consciousness growth is exponential. Meaning, the larger it gets, the faster it gets larger. Which is very exciting...it gets easier and I can't wait to have my first awakening experience...like full blown awakening experience sounds good to me like
  3. @thesmileyone @abrakamowse for me it was confusing trying to figure out the difference between awareness and thoughts. Now I can grasp that thoughts happen within awareness. I'm slowly getting there, I'm experiencing a lot of suffering to which I think is a good sign. I'm going to start ramping up the kryia yoga slowly, then start implementing retreats and then start doing phyc's again
  4. @thesmileyone did you experience ego death just last night mate?
  5. @Adam M I feel like my being is going through a shredder...and I'm just concerned that it's not the meditation and that I'm actually just plain old loosing my mind. I have a feeling it's both
  6. Sit, do the preparatory exercises for kryia for 5-10 mins, then do focus on bindu for 5 minutes, stretch my legs for 2 minutes, self enquiry for 30 mins then vepaasana for 10
  7. Yo everyone in this chat, know that God is using you guys mightily. I definitely think I would have quit by now if it weren't for your help and guidance. You guys are brill
  8. So the degree to which I suffer will be the degree to which my consciousness is raised
  9. Phycological. I stop being able to function. Paralysing thoughts, I feel like I'm mentally trapped and that I'm useless. It's not strong emotionally, just the thoughts. I had to phone sick into work last week because of it. You know how if someone were to die in your family, you would just feel so helpless and deflated and you just wander completely pointlessly and everything feels crap...yeah, it feels exactly like that
  10. Anytime I do something to raise my consciousness I enter into tremendous suffering, so much suffering it's terrible. Ever since I started kryia yoga. But the thing is, I know kryia yoga is the way forward! I know it is, the universe has told me. But if I do anything to raise my consciousness, whether it be smoking cannabis or meditating, I feel myself move into a place of suffering. I'm quite confused because I don't want to give up meditation. I've already made a few posts about my new found suffering but my main question is, IS THIS MEANT TO BE HAPPENING?! When I stop meditating I go back to normal with no suffering then when I start meditating again the suffering comes back. I know enlightenment is worth every penny of it but Its quite bad
  11. I'm conducting a little experiment regarding suffering...I want to study how the ego reacts to spiritual practises. I need to know what I should expect. Tell me about what kind of ego backlashes you have experienced and what spiritual practices you were doing that caused them (and for how long you had been practising). Because, my fear is that I'm not experienceing an ego backlash, and that I'm actually doing damage...but I feel like I need to research what kind of suffering happens so that I can better judge my own experiences. Talk about how you felt and if it felt real. Any suffering, especially suffering that led to a spiritual awakening. Thanks
  12. @Viking I think this is exactly what is happening...however I have already anticipated what I should do... Today I didn't meditate, and absolutely went back to normal instantly. This likely means that the anxiety is only brought on by the meditation. This is an incredibly good sign because that means I can decide to not be anxious at any point in time, which means I can also use cannabis to settle the effects of the anxiety. I didn't want to use cannabis to calm my anxiety in case the anxiety was permanent (which means I would be developing a crutch for cannabis). However, now that I know that I can control the anxiety I can also control my cannabis use, which means I can continue meditating and using cannabis to subdue the side effects of the anxiety with no fear of developing a permanent crutch. This is a very very good thing. Also I'm going to rearrange my meditation times, I'm going to do it in waves. So instead of doing 1.25 hours a day I'm only going to do 1 hour every other day. Then I will pick a day and coming up to that day I will increase to 1.25 hours every day coming up, then I'll do a retreat on my set day and meditate constantly for a period of time then bring it back to 1 hour every other day. These burst patterns will be more effective and better organised for the likes of ego backlashes.