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Because there is still a subtle form of ego. Ego goes extremely deep. As long as you are physically alive there will be some ego. So yeah, utlimate heaven is only possible with mahasamadhi. But it gets already very heaven-like before that! Given that your awakening is balanced. I conceptualize the facets of awakening into these two categories: - Category A: no self Nothingness Imagination life is a dream ... - Category B: God Love Consciousness Infinity Bliss Peace ... If you have too much awakenings into category A without balancing it with category B you likely get depressed. But if you have a balanced awakening, a full complete awakenig, then that's no issue (once integrated).

Maurice Nicoll has so much good quoteable material. I guess it stands to reason though. His Psychological Commentaries number nearly 2000 pages. This has been distilled down fairly recently to 130 page book called Gems of Wisdom. https://inner-world-books.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Gems_of_Wisdom.pdf BEING PASSIVE TO REACTIONS “Now let us come back to the meaning of being passive. In the full sense it means being passive to the personality, and this, in turn, means being passive to oneself. Can you be passive to your mechanically arising objections for even five minutes? Well, I advise you to observe how your personality reacts every moment to everyone and everything...Notice when you begin to object inside—notice what reactions arise in you—and try to be passive to them, not to the people who cause them to arise. Is this clear? You must make yourself passive to your own reactions, not to the people you are reacting to.” V. 1, p. 276 JUDGEMENTS “Mechanical criticism of others produces a great many psychologi- cal difficulties in the person who criticizes—that is, wrong ‘I’s which hinder their own inner development and freedom...After a time you will learn that you cannot afford to sleep too much and to talk and act mechanically and let your life be in the hands of wrong ‘I’s.” V. 1, p. 150-1 INNER TALKING “When you come into the Work one of the things that the Work teaches you is to try to stop inner talking because it is very danger- ous...The first thing that we must do in regard to inner talking is to observe it and notice what this inner talking is saying...A great deal of inner talking is connected with self-justifying—namely with the attempt to put yourself in the right. You feel, for example, that some- one has not treated you rightly. This will start off inner talking. . . . Inner talking is never dialogue but is always a monologue. Inner talking is always negative in character.” V. 2, p. 774-5 INNER TALKING II “Now we have to cancel all sense of people owing us anything at all. This is extremely difficult. But it is one of the few things mentioned in the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Cancel what we owe as we cancel what others owe us.’ When a person allows inner talking to go on and on in him- self he is losing force all the time...When you are in attention your inner talking stops.” V. 2, pp. 775, 777 INNER TALKING III “In this Work you cannot go far with pleasing self-made pictures of your own nobility or value. When you begin to observe yourself deeply enough, these pictures, these fantasies, begin to change. You know that you yourself are just as bad or worse than the other person. Then I am quite sure from my own experience that a great deal of your inner talking will stop. You do not seek to justify yourself.” V. 2, p. 776 49 YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’ “Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self- remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161 BEARING UNPLEASANT MANIFESTATIONS “One sign of Being is the capacity to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Why is this a sign of greater Being? The answer is that you cannot do this unless you have seen in yourself what you dislike in others...When you have just criticized someone, go over what you said carefully and apply it to yourself. This neutralizes poison in you.” V. 1, pp. 168, 176 RESPONSIBILITY FOR NEGATIVE STATES “If you are in a negative state, it is always your own fault, from the Work point of view. No matter what happened, what someone said, what someone did, we have to become responsible for our negative states—ourselves. . .When you feel the presence of negative emotions in you, as a foreign substance, as acutely as a stomach-ache, then youwill seek, for your own reasons, to work on yourself and transform your inner state for your own inner health...But this takes many years and requires a certain inner courage, an inner bravery, an inner determination, until something new is born distinct from life.” V. 2, p. 695 ON ‘NOT FIXING’ “As long as you externally consider another person with a view to trying to change him or her—that is, as long as you think the other person should be different—you are not externally considering, but internally considering. The basis of internal considering is that others should be different, and from this comes ‘making accounts’ against others...One thing is quite certain, and that is that the more sincerely we observe ourselves and what is in us, the less smug we shall be. And from this it follows that we shall be less satisfied to think that we know what the other person should be like.” V. 1, pp. 268-9 THE FEELING OF NOTHINGNESS “When the Work says that a man must come to realize his own nothingness before he can be re-born, it does not mean that he must humble himself and so on, but that he must by long self-observation actually begin to realize that he is nothing and that there is no such person as himself. The object of this is to get into a position, psycho- logically speaking, between the opposites...Why is it so important to get somewhere into the centre of the pendulum and not swing to and fro? Because here, between the opposites, lie all the possibilities of growth. Here influences from higher levels can reach us. Here, in this place where one can feel one’s own nothingness (and where one is therefore free from contradictions), influences and meanings com- ing from higher centres, which have no contradictions, can be felt. Not regarding yourself as good or bad, not priding yourself on being just or otherwise, not thinking you are well-treated or badly-treated, not being caught by either movement through identifying, you come into this mid-position. This is not easy! With personality active, it is impossible.” V. 1, p. 329

It doesn't seem like Connor completely and or clearly enough saw through the tricks of the Mind like Frank appears to have. As if he doesn't understand the nothingness that's prior to the minds understanding. But it doesn't matter ❤

Look in front of you, and realise that THIS is the actual nothingness you are talking about. That eternal witness you are reffering to is synonymous with nothingness and beingness. Formless and form collaps into infinity. Truth/falsehood is just your mind labeling. See Truth in everything.

?? ????? ??????? (Nothingness):- ???????? :- so basically i came to realize this Nothingness by asking this question of who's the observer and by using neti-neti method to tap into it. As from this technique if I'm able to perceive or see or hear things that's not me so what am i nothing pure nothing. ?????? ??????? (Everything):- ???????? :- Basically i thought nothing is something and i tried to capture this but this so not how it was. Nothing is this entirely this not separate from me. And also i had this insight nothing is not different from something. Something = nothing and this is a tautology. (Something = nothing) = pure Being .

When you are 100% Godhead, you become absolute nothingness/non-existence/love/unity. Whether or not you want to experience existence again is completely up to you since you are God. In this nothingness, time doesn't even exist(nor does any concept of anything), so there would be no "coming back" to life, but rather life/existence/concept needs to be recreated again from infinite nothing. To God, there is no beginning or end, no existence or non-existence. You could stay in this nothingness for eternity and then instantly create all of existence and time at once. It's kind of like a pause button for a video game. To the character in the game, they do not know that time is paused when it is. Their experience of existence is spontaneous and consistent. This is why you are actually Godhead right now in the infinite, timeless nothingness between your experience of existence. Still, since there is no time in absolute nothing, you will not notice that you are God. Unless you become conscious enough that you can see the process of creation/imagination of existence directly.

@Valwyndir Hmm, that was really so true. I never experienced unconsciousness and never will experience cause if you're unconscious how can you experience it, that's the point. No way to prove or disprove!!! But I like to think or tell a story or to believe I was there present as pure nothingness when I'm sleeping or in that stage. This kinda give continuity more possible from other person's pov. Yeah making it complicated. Yeah there are no separation from oneself and other from consciousness but from individual mind it do. Wait there's no individual mind. Wait there are no people also no me and also wait, what the hell. I don't know. Yeah maybe there was never unconscious state. How sneaky maybe i never slept actually, what's the point if i never slept if I'm trying to sleep everyday. Non-duality is so strange!!

So i figured that i haven't spent enough time contemplating, and this post is meant as an exercise,and also to see potential holes in my understanding. Since the first times i took acid, but especially after my 600mcg breakthrough (i've posted the trip report for anyone interested) i can access lower levels of psychedelic-like understanding all the time. My imagination just explodes with insight especially when i smoke weed but also when i'm sober (yes it's weird). This skill grows the more i become conscious, the cleaner and healthier my body gets and the more i take psychedelics. So the following is my attempt at putting into words my current experience/way of seeing things. Of course Leo's videos have influenced me A LOT, but this is all just from the top of my head. SO You/Nothingness - is like this infinitely big "room". But because it's infinitely "big" although it's Nothing, it kinda becomes an infinitely dense, infinitely complex "THING". But it's only ONE "thing", so it's not big or small, relative to something else. It's Absolutely big, and yet it's like a DOT. It's Absolutely small, and yet it's like an infinitely complex geometrical figure. it kinda lives in these two paradoxical simultaneous states of being a thing and not being a thing - infinitely complex AND infinitely simple, and every. single. fucking. distinction. anyone could possibly make AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE to infinity It's indistinguishable from nothingness, that's why science will never FIND "it". Nothingness is the floor and the ceiling of Existence all at once. And so it seemingly has two "sides" - The infinite, ever-expanding "space" and the infinite, ever-contracting "dot" (which is the inverted whole "viewed" from within-without (i'm not going to even try to explain stuff like within-without. i hope you get it) This is nonduality = duality! because we have the two parts - the whole, which is one, and the seemingly separate, which has itsef two sides - "nothingness" and "everythingness" mirroring the whole - which paradoxically creates three things, and that by the same logic it creates a fourth thing and a fifth and so on, and infinity is "born". But it's all One. Now, the tendency is to say that "here" we are INSIDE the Universe but it's nature is such that each square centimeter is infinitely filled with the ENTIRE Universe in each infinitely small point wherever you can possibly point to. it has this sort of infinite, BUT CIRCULAR geometry thing about it. So you are always inside AND outside of it (yourself). EVERYWHERE IS OUTSIDE/INSIDE YOURSELF... holy shit language just falls short anyway... Just from this perhaps you can see how something like death is false. Because it's the only thing, nothing can stop it from "running" in any dimensional direction possible. And because "outside" itself is actually "inside" itself, it actually CAN go outside itself too. It's infinite and thus It's SO FUCKIN FAST that it "catches" ITSELF and it can stand next to itself !!! And of course it positioned itself in every possible place - everywhere. And this is really where PERSPECTIVE is born. What we call "i" is standing, for lack of a better term, in the "middle", in between all of the extremes of Nothingness/Consciousness. Here we see the Infinite Pixel of God simultaneously penetrating all dimensions, being Space and every infinitely small nook and cranny of Space, occupying the entirety of Infinity. Balance. But there is also "IT'S" "perspective" which is Oneness, Stillness, Everthingness - Truth! , which is all of itself at once, which is utterly incomprehensible because from it's point of view it doesn't have to "run" anywhere or "do" anything because it is everywhere and it is everything. It's just right now it's accessing a limited part of itself, and the best we can do to kinda get that with "regular human consciousness" is that perfect "nothingness" that spiritual teachers are so in love with, and see the Oneness and Everythingness and blaaaaa but even that is so distorted and sounds so cringe to me because In order to SPEAK Absolute Truth with "human language" one would have to speak forever, for infinity! So therefore everything we say will always get stuck in an extreme of sorts.) And i see there is an ongoing Consciousness balance act or dance between that nothingness and everythingness, an that is what i would call enlightenment, even though actually, that also falls short. i have no idea what enlightenment actually is. Everything is just me/God/Infinity. With the higher dimensions (seemingly) closed, everywhere we look will always (seemingly) be duality/relative, therefore only HALF of God, so to speak (except that they're never really actually closed) In my experience, psychedelics allow access to higher/wackyer dimensions and allow you to fold language (or anything, you're ultimately folding consciousness) in a higher dimension, you get to a HIGHER Truth - relatively speaking. More information. And that Higher knowledge from the infinite library gets more and more complex in all directions, in all colors, in all sounds, all manners possible. Each more creative and innovative than the one before. SERIOUS STUFF!!! it gets more beautiful, but also more dangerous, more pleasurable, but more painful, more ugly, more blissful, more intense, more and more and MORE and MORE of EVERYTHING. To infinity... You can for example speak "languages" where one "letter" or "thought" or "artifact" is the entire possibility of human language. Trying to "obtain" this through meditation and self inquiry but never taking psychedelics is like having a knife, sharpening it everyday but never using it to cut anything ever, and saying that you don't NEED TO, because the purpose is just having a sharp knife... ok, not the best analogy but it's like wtf? So as long as you're viewing yourself from a human body, the whole Thing is mechanical it has pieces/holons - REASONS - so infinite causality is why you CAN'T access psychedelic states without psychedelics - The *reason* for the existence of this dimension is for the other ones to make sense - through contrast! So realize that everything is just the dot (you) everywhere, masqueranding as the atoms, the light, the bed, the body, the thoughts, the sounds etc. etc. and that it can anytime "stop" what it's currently doing (distorting itself, sticking it's head up it's ass thus creating YOU, jk) and see that you are the dot, radiating into your infinite self (falling in love) and you are viewing yourself, pretending to be "things" aka "not you". This is how God hides in plain sight. It won't show itself to you not because it can't, but because you won't let it, because it's you and so you're not letting yourself - because you're not open enough for infinity. Again. All this that i'm saying is not TRUTH! TRUTH can be accessed directly, and you kinda cannot speak of it, other than to say that it's Absolute, or Infinite, or Love or God or Perfect or stuff like that, and even those are distortions, that's how radical it is/you are. So where psychedelics meet self-actualization, consciousness work, spirituality, health and fitness and sex and all aspects of your life is this: In order for psychedelics to work the best with the body, it must be in a certain pristine state - this is what "spiritual purification" is partly about. This is also what "spiritual healing" is all about. It's not that consciousness work heals the body - it indirectly heals the body by making you more aware of the shit that isn't working well and it makes you open and wise and proactive in making things better in every aspect of life, so you go and research your ass off and you fix your gut issues, get the heavy metals out of your brain, feed the body an abundance of CLEAN SOURCES for ALL the vitamins, minerals, essential polyunsaturated fats, water, exercise social&sex stuff, LP etc. etc. etc. And you get all your metaphysics of God/You/infinity/Love in order, you meditate, do inquiry etc. and multiply to infinity, accelerate accelerate accelerate and *then* psychedelics will show you stuff that is truly next level, because it reflects just how amazing and next level you already are (infinite acceleration). And in this way of being that i just described, you're living life in such a divine reflection of your true Being - which is just ... infinite beauty it's so... IT'S SO BRUTALLY BEAUTIFUL!!!! lmao Can you see the dot everywhere? I'm not saying that the point is to see the point everywhere. In fact, at this point i could go on about the point of the point, but i see no point in that, since believe i made sufficient points about the point of the point of the point analogy. (even the letter "i" is a point with a line, that is made out of points... ) Ok ok ok so now everything that i just said i fold in a higher dimension and it becomes a single non-verbal thought, and i forget about the dot and i just see infinity in everything. I see the linear-circular-ness of everything. See how every single little "thing" is simultaneously the biggest/smallest thing. See how no thing is actually A thing, but THE thing - God/You/etc. And something very funny happens, Everything people say suddenly has something strange, something personal about it, every sound, everything that enters "awarenes" is so special and intelligent and deliberate and Perfect! And it's always like this, except that when you're not uber conscious of it, it doesn't seem this way at all. I'm gonna stop there really hope that this helps some of you. You can do anything. Cheers! (see you on the other side!)

Jhanas arise when the mind is very still, opposing intentions in the mind harmonize, and the result is out-of-this-world-intense bliss. It happens via both insight and concentration meditation, but mainly concentration -- not concentration as in sticking to the object, but through intentionally cultivating a sense of satisfaction every time you realize your attention is not as still on the object as you would like. No need to focus on the object to the exclusion of anything else, just allow your attention to rest on the object and your only intention at first should be to be on your toes to intentionally cultivate a sense of satisfaction every time you realize your attention is not as still on the object as you would like. Eventually mind will still itself and rest on the object -- because eventually from doing this, the awareness of the quality of your attention never goes away, and becomes monitored in real time and under conscious control. And then those competing intentions in the back of your mind (imperceptible) will calm down and you'll see what they were inadvertently covering up -- intense overwhelming satisfaction. It is unlikely to reach jhana without at least 45 minute sits every day -- preferably 1-2 hours. If you begin to feel a very intense pleasant body buzz, often (but not always) beginning in the hands or sometimes the face/smile or chest, ignore it and continue the breath/etc meditation until the buzz is impossible to ignore, then shift your attention in one motion to the buzz itself... it will dissipate or get stronger. If it gets stronger, you will soon be in the 1st jhana, at which point it's all over -- you're officially addicted to meditation, lol. The 2nd jhana (doing the same thing except switching your awareness from the buzz to the happiness it brings) is even better, and so on up to the 8th jhana. The first time you enter jhana it may scare you. That's normal. It won't hurt you. The pleasure is so intense you might feel like you can't breathe. Just be aware that's normal. Rather useless info, until later: Entering 3rd jhana: happiness -> peace (the rapturous buzz that is central to the 1st jhana and peripheral to the 2nd jhana disappears entirely -- happiness without the buzz that it seemed to arise from = peace) 4th: peace -> beautiful stillness (abandoning pleasure for something more exalted) 5th: stillness -> boundless space 6th: boundless space -> boundless consciousness (this is an incredibly intense mystical experience) 7th: boundless consciousness -> perception of nothingness 8th: perception of nothingness -> mind not landing on anything, not even nothingness Nirvana: lights out; perceived after the fact as a gap, like jumping forward in time with no space in between.

This is not a thought, it is nothing. Everything is nothing, therefore there is no such a thing as something. Just nothingness. If you dont think during the day, there wont be any “during the day”, “you”, “something “, “experience “, nor “produce”. Nothingness can not be experienced, can just “be”, as sleeping. Forget everything that “you” have learned (including yourself), whatever left is what YOU really are.

@James123 I don't know if the lost in translation happened here as it common in this topic, but i don't got that properly. Yes but what is the substance for this thought -> pure nothingness, right? Pure awareness is nothingness. Thought cannot comeout of something right? Nothigness is needed to show something. If there was no duality something should be appeared in my deep-sleep or in coma cause nothing = something, so in this case non-duality is not happened. Cause nothingness provide a hierarchically top role in sort of way. Like nothingness produce something if nothingness produce something these two are dualities.

@James123 yes what I'm typing is something right although it is in nothing but this is something which appears in nothing right? While I'm awake even tho there's no me but my thoughts are appearing in the pure nothingness right? So how can there be a duality?

So the question is, In the state of sleeping or in the state of coma, it seems like the pure nothingness alone exists. Like seriously no time, no objects, no external world. But a pure nothingness. So how come this nothing = something. It seems like nothing is inherited in every objects/time/external world but that something is missing isn't it? Let's assume you're sleeping at 9PM and you wake UP at 5AM, in these between period you as a nothing you existed right? In between these stage as pure nothing from 9 to 5. So in this case if something = nothing. There was no something in the 9 to 5, i as the awareness existed as pure nothing. So is this prove nothing differs from something?

@meow_meow for me i just realized nothingness by doing this simple technique called neti-neti. It's very simple and powerful. So this is how it goes. Do you see any things? Example I see chair is the chair me? No I'm not the chair i can be aware of the chair. Okay am i the seeing? No I'm not seeing itself, I'm aware of the sight. Okay am i the thought? No, I'm aware of the thought so awareness and the object cannot be the same. Okay am i the awareness itself, watch out its a thought and you eliminated it who are you then what you're left with. And yeah super important thing is whatever you become aware of it is not you becuase you're the one who's aware of it. You gotta realize this and you would have that insight that you're nothing! This worked super fine for me, hope you get it! cheers!!

Life is an exception to the normal state of being. We come from nothing, become something and back in to nothingness we go . We are all on a one way trip to the same destination . Always remind yourself you can die at any moment, this way you can truly live. Memento mori. --i welcome death. A death in the service of freedom and truth is a beautiful death. On the day of my death my ancestors will smile down upon me with pride. The hero that goes to Valhalla does not lament death. I shall not enter Odin's hall with fear. sυστεροφημία . --

I'm thinking about life all over again. I'm looking at the world through different lenses.. Through the lenses of PTSD. Everything is either aesthetic (creative) or PTSD inducing or just neutral survival. Just think about it. It makes perfect sense. Either everything is up or everything is down. Either a system upgrades or it degrades. What else can happen?maybe a neutral system. Either we grow or we age. Isn't this the profound truth of life? My greatest moments of profundity are usually in my greatest moments of despair. The picture of the world is truly Aesthetic /flourishing /creative PTSD Neutral. Either people grow /flourish or they suffer PTSD or they simply survive and go along life in a neutral manner. Either our environment is growth inducing/conducive or it is PTSD inducing or neutral. There cannot be any other colors other than a triple spectrum of these 3 White Black Gray/colorless Either we have white color that represents aesthetic or growth. Or we have black color that represents darkness and decay. Or we have gray color or colorless that represents neutrality and nothingness, neither growth nor decay.

When you look closely you'll see that thought comes out of nothingness and dissolves into nothingness. Thought only exists for the concious moment in which you experience it. Something can not happen to you unconsciously, because then it wouldn't happen. What would the intention for a thought be but another thought? The intention of all thoughts is to experience thinking

It happened to me by accident, I somehow managed to enter an experience of nothingness when I was waking up from sleep. I heard there are meditation techniques you can try. They call the state "turiya" in Hindu philosophy, if that helps. Like you said before, nothing = something. So something coming out of nothing is the same as nothing coming out of something. I think you've slightly misunderstood. The source of everything is not a state of nothingness, or turiya. The source of everything is actually itself, which is what is meant by "nothing is the source of everything". Things don't need a source. It's a strange loop. What is stopping consciousness from creating without a source? Nothing is, lol. It creates out of nothing, like magic. No method or mechanism needed. It just is itself. When you're eating a pizza, that pizza actually came from nowhere, you're just imagining that it came from some pizza place. The problem with looking for a "source" is that it turns into an infinite regression. What created that source? and what created the source that created that source? And so on forever.

@Osaid yeah, i get that. I'm aware of that pure nothingness presence in a certain level like intuitively but how can one be directly conscious of this conciousness. So "mind" bending! Correct me if I'm wrong but, it said like nothing is the source for everything. If this is the nothing which is the source for everything, how non-duality is possible?

Sounds like what I mean by true awareness for most part, but it is not what I would imply as Nothingness.

I assume you're talking about the experience of pure consciousness (AKA turiya or nothingness as people like to call it) Yes, it is possible to experience nothing, as paradoxical as it sounds. The experience is a paradox because the finite mind cannot comprehend "experience" and "nothing" co-existing, since it has created a duality between the two. It is a state of consciousness where there is no object for the finite mind to grasp at, an absence of objects. It is completely impossible to imagine BTW, because your mind is finite and can only know finite things, whereas nothingness is infinite and without end. It's like trying to imagine what having no eyesight is like, it's just absent. There is the experience of it being absent. You don't see black, you don't see any colors, it's just completely gone. That's what nothingness is like, but your entire reality is gone along with your eyesight, and you just exist there. You are actually experiencing nothingness right now, to a certain degree, but you just don't realize it since you're so fixated on the finite portion of reality. Try to focus on the fact that you cannot see what is behind your head. You are having the experience of being unable to see what is behind your head. This is actually an experience of nothingness. You are experiencing the lack or non-existence of a certain sensation, which is sight. You can't see anything behind you. There is essentially nothing there until you turn around and look at it. Try to feel into that. This is probably the closest you can get to understanding nothingness without going into a full state of nothingness.

Nothingness is not nothing, it is simply something you can't really put in words or even make concept of , because it is beyond our logical capacity.

Don't know where to start - but this is actually everything a spiritual seeker must know: How to raise ones frequency of consciousness (or in other words) minimize the radius of the self-refernce circuit. So what do I exactly mean by that? Given the assumptiom that everything is one / you are everything/ there is only that, the only way to interact with so-called reality is by yourself/ through yourself/ with yourself. So you are seer/ seeing / seen, subject/ process/ object, receiver/ medium/ information, these triads are closed circuits. When identification happens, the triad apparently splits apart. Let's try to find a metaphora for it even though it's just a fairy tale of course: Imagine "you" are sitting in a train and watch the train tracks. Your look is statically focused into nothing (particular), you watch the train tracks passing by forever and ever. In this state you are completely one with the scene. There is no mind, no body. Just "train tracks passing by" is happening. You are not really in the train, you actually are the train, the process of watching and the train tracks itself. Nothing complicated here. Then, one day, a thought arises like: "What am I (actually made of)? What does a single rail actually look like?" And then your look clings to a single rail. You turn your eyes to see how it is falling behind, and then it's out of your sight again. But this was not a fullfilling answer to your question, since you couldn't see all the details of the rail and the moment you could examine its properties, it disappeared again. So your look clings to the next rail and so on and so on. Every rail you examine first lets you hope and makes you excited to get the answer to your question, but then you mourn after it the next second, leaving you with more questions than before. Your eyes are in constant motion, from one rail to another. Relentlessly, your restless soul longs for the answer, since you apparently lost the selfknowledge. A subtle memory of the natural relaxed state of "train tracks passing by" rests in the depth of your being, but you project this state into the future. You can only imagine to rest like this after finding the answer to your question. You cling to the rails, but they are sooo fleeting. Then you suddenly recognize that there is something which is always present during your desperate search for the answer. Even though the rails appear and disappear and your eyes constantly move, there something subtle ("within your awarenes" - not really ) which is still the whole time. You try all the methods to concentrate on that again, which is constantly here, not fleeting. In the end, they all have the same goal: raising the frequency of your eyes moving back to the "statically focused into nothing (particular)" - state. Minimizing the distance between the old rail (the past) and the present one, so that your eyes can rest instead of constantly shifting from one place to another. Means: raising the frequency of your consciuosness, minimizing the radius of the self-reference circuit. Here are some examples: Neti neti: Realizing you are neither this trail, nor that one - makes your look relax into the natural state since the rails become less and less important Self inquriy: By zooming out and turning inward, you realize that the rails don't define your being, your eyes stop focusing on something far out there which is rushing by, but focus closer and closer to yourself - the focuspoint transitioning distance becomes shorter and shorter Letting go/doing nothing: Your eyes just relax, you stop energetically clinging to the rails Breathing meditation/body awareness: Instead of being imersed in the looking, you relax into what is - not trying to solve the riddle, but let your body find its natural energetc equilibrium Being present: You stop clinging to past rails - everytime you remember clinging to a past rail you naturally shift back to the present one All these techniques shorten the distance of switching your focus from one rail to another, and try to bring it back into the natural relaxed state, the energetc equilibirum, which is the state of the least resistance. The shorter the distance between two focus points (the smaller the radius of the self-reference circuit), the higher the frequency of consciousness (frequency of being in the present moment). "Enlighenment" is the natural state of least resistance, which was there in the beginning, when you didn't identify with the rails. It's the closed circuit of the triad. Of course, there actually is only enlightenment, because you were/are present all the time, only your eyes were not as relaxed as they could be. So being completely present kind of equals an infinite frequency of consciousness - and this is perfect nothingness/silence etc. What do I mean by that? Imagine a beat every time you focus back on the present - At the beginning of your spiritual journey it occours quite seldom, slowly raising its frquency. Then it slowly turns from single beats into a clear tone - moving up the ladder through all the octaves. Since then you still have the feeling of being in a journey of raising your frequency - until it becomes such a high pitch that you can't hear it anymore - complete silence, stillness. I could write more about what I mean by minimizing the radius of the self-reference circuit, giving other metaphoras like a planet (object) flying around a star (subject) until both collapse into each other when the rotation frequency hits its maximum. But I think this text can be enough for you to realign again with what your highest goal is. Remember - there is only the present moment to focus back on the NOW. Don't attach to this moment, since it is fleeting. Don't stay in the present moment (which is impossible since now it is not the present moment anymore), stay in the NOW. Realign your focus over and over again, every time you recognize that clinging to a moment happens. Your frequency of consciousness will raise, which soon will be recognizable. Then you will realize that there is nobody and no situation that could ever disturb you in your meditation. That you don't meditate by closing eyes and sitting with straight back. You then will meditate while eating and shitting. You can meditate RIGHT NOW, just come back here and now again. What is real/true NOW? Who are YOU? Don't project the answer into the future, don't lose yourself in thoughts (rails), just come back to what already is the case - eternally NOW.

I hit the essence of it. The emptiness and nothingness which carved my womb, and historically runs in my life story. It should have been obvious to me that this was it. Oh Allah, you were but another whacky element in my mental wonderland. I remember staring at my ceiling, thinking how terrifying an existence of forever in heaven would be. And then when I was still in Pakistan and realised I was an atheist, true emptiness and nothingness flooded over. Why am I here? Why is there something rather than nothing? WHY IS THERE SOMETHING RATHER THAN NOTHING!? _ Emptiness and nothingness, emptiness and nothingness. An indescribable mental state with no words. Dancing phantoms and ephemeral shapeshifting entities. The unconscious is boundless in contents. Myriads of flashing colours, figures of dark and light, sinister and angelic, all holding hands in a circle, laughing, crying, dancing, twisting, arising, passing ; all by nothingness and of nothingness. Nothing but nothingness ; a terrible terrible solitude, as ghosts and phantoms of all dimensions and colours torture me in jest ^ Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger --- I now realise even more strongly how much I value this video game. The crystallisation of what I feel, Zelda Majoras Mask. The analogy and symbolism everywhere. And this deeply, deeply chilling and beautiful nostalgic song. Through listening to this song, the floodgates to my unconscious are opened When I hear this song, free form words, stories and images just naturally form. "Active imagination" is the technique they call it, I should do it more. It feels right for me

I dislike that Tony Parsons, Jim Newman and the rest of the so called radical non dualists focuses on the individual even though it doesn't exist. The whole point in the message is that there is nothing here for the individual, but why all the talk about this non existent individual and what it does in it's illusory dream then? This seems to create more tension than it releases, it makes it seem like there is someone that needs to be gotten rid off when there isn't. When I hear a message from nothingness directed towards me as nothingness it seems to resonate more. It is more direct, less descriptive and more energetic. It doesn't even recognise an individual, it is source talking directly to source with an absolute trust that source hears source. It doesn't need to explain how the individual doesn't exist and how this can't be understood and what not, it just knows that intuitively already. What I've also noticed with Jim and Tony is that I'm sort of conditioned to reject or not listen to other messages from so called "teachers", because "they" teach personal teachings. Many of the teachers they say teach personal teachings are in my estimation not personal teachings though. The personal pronouns they use aren't directed towards a person but to the underlying essence that is the mystery of all appearances. Lil rant Lemme hear ur thoughts