caspex

I'll be 20 in two months and have some of the most important stuff of my life coming up in the next few years. I have it all planned out. The next 5-15 years all planned out to the appropriate degree. The only problem is execution. I am so inconsistent, hypocritical, undisciplined and honestly non-serious about my life that it hurts. I know I am the one doing this to myself yet I feel like a victim to my own laziness. I have made countless action plans, do overs and even spent money in implementing these plans. Yet I fall back to the life of least resistance after some time. It has made me lose hope over this year and it has made me cry at nights. I need to study, and I need to study seriously because the exam I am trying to pass needs A LOT of hardwork. I never worked hard in school and passed by studying the night before each time. I have never failed a test once in my life and that has made me lazy and arrogant. In fact, I passed the first level of my current course by studying only 11 days earlier. Less than 24% of the people who gave that exam that day passed it. But I have reached my limit now, I cannot pass this one by simply studying it even if it's 2 months earlier. This is why I decided to study from January this year. But I procrastinated entire weeks. I have only covered 40% of the syllabus and my exams are in 1.5 months. However, I know for a fact I can cover the rest in this time ONLY if I study 7-9 hours everyday without procrastinating. Yet, I am STILL procrastinating. Even if I pass this exam, it doesnt improve my personality and mindset of being lazy about my future. I don't give a shit and I really want to. I feel like I can do it without a lot of effort, and logically I know I can't. I have plans for my life that I can't follow through with this lazy mindset, habit or pride. So, I know what to do broadly in the next few years. I am even mentally capable of creating in between stepping stone goals and plans to achieve them. But I can't execute, at all. How do you become a serious man? (Please also suggest me some of Leo's old videos that deal exactly with this issue if you know of anything)

Don't feel down about it. I know with things like these it's hard not to, even if everyone tells you it doesn't really matter. Deep down it still feels like having higher IQ would have been so much better. So know this, it's ok. IQ doesn't measure your intuition your awareness, and even if it did so what? You can develop that. Because ultimately that's what really matters. Realistically you only need enough IQ to survive. Your not some dumb low functioning human, it's just that dumb low functioning humans also happen to have low IQ. I don't think you'd be low functioning if you were on this forum and moreover had enough confidence to post your score. So don't stress it.

I used to feel a lot of brain fog and my memory/learning ability was down in the dumps. However it has increased significantly recently, infact my baseline has risen and I feel satisfied most of the time now. Earlier I'd feel uneasy and mildly depressed sitting by myself doing nothing. These are the changes I have made: I started taking Magnesmium L-Threonate and Choline Bitartrate, these are good for brain health and target brain fog. You can look up what exactly they do. Chamomile Tea before bed, helps in getting sleepy. Hibiscus Tea once a day, lots of antioxidants. I have been doing Dual-N-Back exercises. You can easily find an app for it. It focuses heavily on training your working memory. Which is basically your brain's 'RAM'. Multivitamins that contains Omega 3 Fatty Acids and Zinc. I got a sleeping mask to block all light to my eyes. These simple changes have made a big difference to my life. I feel a lot more stable and sturdy now mentally. This may sound weird but for months I used to feel "I don't feel sane enough". These things basically increased my sanity. I feel that I am finally back to how a human being should be. It's to be noted that I will slowly reduce my carb intake soon as well. As it stands now, there is a lot of sugar and carbs in my diet. But even after these little changes I feel heavenly. Life just feels much more exciting now.

Honestly I couldn't tell just by looking at someone.

Only works for people who have already deconstructed the idea of having a back.

Demonizing pedophilia would be acting like a sheep, but I wouldn't call it 'wrong'. It's the right thing to do, because I do not want to live in a society where pedophilia is normalized. You might argue there is a grey area, and you would like to live in a society that is more aware of pedophilia and would help these people out without demonizing them, but that's a fantasy. Demanding that is demanding a stage Yellow society which is a very big ask. It's so far into the future that it's not worth discussing right now. Therefore I believe it to be the right move to demonize pedophilia, because the masses move in terms of extremes and not greys, and I like the current side of the extreme better than the other side. Once society enters the grey, the pendulum is bound to swing all the way. As for pedophilia itself, I don't believe that anybody is simply born a pedophile as if it's a sexual orientation. You become a pedophile due to circumstance and habits. One way, that I believe is quite common, is through porn. Most of us do not get affected by this, but some keep going deeper down the rabbit hole and before they know it, they are into kids. I believe it takes years but it happens. There view of sexuality gets so deconstructed they do not care now if it's a kid or not. Look, you can deconstruct your sexual orientation to a point where you are attracted to stone or a table, that does not mean you should do that, the same applies to kids.

My lifestyle lead to severe anemia recently and had to do blood transfusions to stay alive. I have decided to change my diet completely since. Eat like a Sannayasi only if you are living like one. Eat according to your lifestyle or it'll lead to problems. In my opinion, for a Grihasta guy, eating two meals a day, filling 3/4th of the stomach, and not drinking water during or after eating for 40 minutes, is enough. Not eating after sunset is also one of the big changes that leads to better sleep. Eating the right food is also essential, variety is very important. I now genuinely think that if you can afford to be vegetarian(not vegan), then it's the best choice.

I think of intelligence as having better clarity in a certain area of life. If you are gifted with IQ maybe you have amazing clarity regarding mathematics, geometry and space. But there are other fields, such as people, emotions, or metaphysics. If you have clarity in spiritual matters, only then might you achieve awakening without anyone telling you about it. High IQ doesn't imply high clarity in metaphysics, philosophy or self-awareness.

Understanding is creation. The urge to understand alongside the urge to explore stems from the root urge to create. Your urge to create because God creates all the time. When you understand something, you are able to see it, create it within your mind. Your mind expands, and within, you can hold the object you have understood. Creation entails setting up of biases, boundaries, limits, structure and relationships among the various distinctions within the object. This is the exact process when understanding something. Understanding feels liberating, it feels free, because you create. Creation is liberating. The more you create/understand, the larger you are. The more you can escape your previous frame of reference. The cosmic movement towards God and dissolution in God is what fuels the urge to create.

Bhakti does exactly this to awaken you. You feel emotions so deeply that there is no room for thought anymore. You realise how the entire world is just a massive emotion, but eventually, you catch sight of this immense stillness within every part of this dynamism. Once you realise that stillness is yourself, you quit changing from within, you become as sturdy and immovable as a mountain, immovable by pressure no matter how strong. However, at the same time, your ability to feel, encompass and hold within yourself, is on par with the ocean.

Emotional labour in relation to mastery refers to situations related to progress, not dealing with accidents. Life doesn't balance things like that don't worry man. Focus/Enjoy on your actions and don't worry about the results. You seem to be doing great.

I agree with you that "the good life" is a fantasy. It's simply exists for us to not lose meaning from our lives. But I believe there is an actual good life that I have no idea what is like, but intuit is driven by being awake. Actualized.org is for those who are privileged enough to know English and have a decent internet connection. No matter what problems we face in our lives, be it material, spiritual or mental, for a lot of us, because of our standing in the social hierarchy, determination and persistence can get us to a big chunk of that "good life". For you, the good life is possible, or at least a large part of it, and that's why you had aimed for it in the first place. Therefore, you cannot blame Actualized.org for burdening you with achieving the good life, if it's possible for you, you must burden yourself with that possibility.

I am planning to set myself up materially till 30. After that stability is achieved, I decide to pursue material ventures till 40 and go full monkhood afterwards.

Option 1. Happiness is a shallow emotion compared to peace and bliss.