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About Endangered-EGO

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  1. @Leo Gura I'm going to rewatch that video. One of the best videos about enlightenment. Should be in a bible lol. From what I remember it's the I-am-ness facet I just experienced. Not the first awakening, but it's definitely ME.
  2. I know that "I am" with everything that I experience. So I let myself get absorbed by experience? Do you have any resources about "integration"? Best I have is adyashantis book, and Rupert Spira saying to "recognise awareness in very percept of awareness."
  3. @Arcangelo What do I do now? Separate awareness from it's objects until I am swallowed by the singularity of consciousness?
  4. It wasn't even an experience for me. Nothingness is different from that realisation!
  5. @Blackhawk I will read what I just wrote every day. Lol Leo's God's guided meditation made me realise exactly that. You're not a fucking human. It's so obvious. If I could write a bible for future me. I'd just write that down over and over again in different words. I just gave myself a great idea about a book that I am writing. This post, but in 100 pages over and over again.
  6. You're not a fucking human. You're not a human being. You're not a conscious sentient animal. You're not a biological machine. FFS, you're not a human. You(consciousness) know what you are since the day you werr born. Befkre thoughts. The thing that thinks it's doing stuff is thoughts. It's not you. You are not the thing the thoights tell you you are. You are not a Human, you are not the thoughts of consciousmess. You are consciousness. The consciousness that knows. Consciousness knows thoights. Thoights don't know consciousness. As a child, you already knew that you were consciousness. You know what you are, but the you that knows isn't thoughts. It's so fucking easy its absurd that we have to go through all of it to realise that we already know what we are. Yoi are not more in thoughts than you are in smell. You're none of it and you're all of it. You're not a human. You're not the thoughts about a human being. You're the consciousness of the thoughts that say something or picture something. You're the awareness of it. Think about you being a human. You're not what the thoughts explain. Your the awareness of the thoughts rambling some picture if reality. It's so close. You just need to think about what you are, until you realise you are the thinking. But you're not only the thinking. Your the awareness of thoughts, you're the awareness of in between thoughts. You're not onlythe awareness of thoughts, you're also the awareness of sight/hearing/feeling etc. It's so obvious that it's absurd. Your not the respresentation or the thought about consciousness, you're consciousness experiencing thought about Consciousness. Wake up. The thing that knows what you are already knows what it is. There's nothing to do. What are you. You always were awareness in everything. The you that knows already knows what you are. It's the same you that is there without self representation. Your are not a human. You are the awareness of the thought that has a picture of separateness of different sentient beings that have the body as a limit. You are awareness, not the thoughtabout awareness. It's so simple it's funny. How can I describe it better. You're not a human. You are awareness of the thought of being a human. You are awareness of the thought of being in a universe. You are awareness of the thought of being separate from thoughts about other separate entities. You already knew it the second you were born, you just couldn't articulate it because you didn't have any thoughts about "knowing things". The only thing you can be sure about 100% is what you are. The lights are on. Wake up. You're conscious. That's IT. That's you. The light of awareness is there and it's all you are. Yoi are also your ego, but you're not only your ego! You're the awareness of the information. You're not a fucking human. Wake up. A human is a thought, you're not a human. You are the light of awareness. You're the knowing of everything there is. There is smell/sound/taste/sight. You're the awareness/knowing of it. You already know it. The thoughts don't know it yet, but you, awareness/consciousness knows you're IT. Wake up, reread what I said let it sink it. The thing that knows already knows it. There's nothing to do. Rereread it. You're not human. What is human? Being Human is a thought. You know. I know that I know. I am that I am. You know that you know. Consciousness knows that it's conscious. And always has known. Nothing changes. It (You/I already know. You are the thing that knows that it knows. The you that knows always knew. What do you know for certain? Don't think. That's it, that's you. You are IT! There's nothing anything can do because the thing that knows already knows.
  7. You are not a fucking human being! You are not a person!
  8. @Someone here It's a measurement of some movements. Just as size is relative to other sizes, movement is relative to other movements. When your heart beats slow it beats slow relative to other hearts and to the sun cycle. Time is that relativity of movement.
  9. Movement. Things happen. When certain thi gs happen we get up, when other things happen we eat, when other things happen wr get tired an go to sleep.
  10. I just rewatched Leo's video about inducing a God-realisation and it clicked. It's not that I am conscious of things happening. I am consciousness, period. In every experience I am the emptiness. I am the emptiness in the thoughts creating a difference between body and world. Creating a difference between what Is seen/heard/felt/thought. I am not the ego, I am the awareness/knowing/experience of (but not only) the ego. It's so weird, but it's so clear. I am just thinking about what I can do to remember, that I am that consciousness and not the ego, but I consciousness never did anything or could do anything. The I never changed. The thinking about me being consciousness is consciousness having a self representation of itself. I think it's funny that the ego has thoughts, that represents the I in terms of thoughts. I am smiling because of the absurdity in what the ego-mind has been doing. It cannot know anything. Thoughts can never know what it is. I understand that the I was always "enlightened". Nothing changed or could change. It's the unchanging that is me. I (ego) will probably continue to "observe" and realise that ego and thoughts are experiencED by the I. What practice can I do, to continue separating everything from the awareness of every-thing.
  11. As if you had never asked yourself why you do all of that. I hated the nothingness, until I lost it and wanted it back. Imo it's a good question. It's probably even a necessary step for most people. My ignorant answer would be, it's not good for anything except it's the escape from ego-suffering.
  12. @impulse9 A panic attack on weed actually shot me into nothingness and the dark night of the soul for 6 months straight. However I doubt, that most people who consume it ever reach that level. Take a look at cannabis induced DP/DR. I don't recommend doing what I did, because it comes with suffering, and after my ego came back it got very disfunctional and led to huge amounts of suffering.
  13. I have suffered a lot post nothingness and I suffer most of the time when I am not in nonduality. My mother had a stroke, couldn't swallow any fluids and begged for water 24/7 in the hospital. She didn't get any enlightenment from it, and sais we're in hell here. She suffers, I suffer. I start to doubt that suffering leads anywhere. I'd rather have euthanasia than go through the same experience that she sent through. I torture myself with sauna, cold water and strong determination sitting. Suffering still is suffering. Physical and Emotional pain still leads to suffering. I'm not going to hurt myself anymore, I'm going to take hot showers and be really comfortable. I'm going to take sleeping pills instead of being tired. I thought that suffering leads to awakening, but my biggest awakenings weren't triggered from suffering and suffering never led me anywhere. Asceticism is a fools errand. I want liberation without suffering, and I don't know what path to chose now. I can't anticipate suffering and I can't find a solution to it. I'm exhausted from fighting an uphill battle. Is there a path of surrender that isn't islam? Or something you can point me towards in my situation?
  14. @anderson Watch bernardo kastrups videos on theories of everything with Curt jaimungal on yt. He explains idealism best. Rest is experiential.