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About Sauvik

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  • Birthday 02/11/1993

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  1. Congrats , on being able to pull off this post of yours without going anonymous, I am recently dealing with a similar situation with a girl I was dating, I will share it, she's a colleague who joined office about 2 months ago, outwardly she is shy and introverted. It took me about a month with her to realise that she is actually very attracted to abusive behaviour. And Normal relationshipy behaviour is boring for her. We have been together for about 1.5 months now, after we got physical she started to indicate that she wanted things to be serious between us. I didn't object. I was trying to own her, be a container for her as a man, as well as I am dominant enough along with maintaining Mutual respect between us. But just a few days back I got to know that she has beed talking and meeting with another guy behind my back, i have also managed to hear them talk ( she was calling him from our office phone where calls are recorded). That guy from his voice and way of speaking seemed like a total illiterate douche and spoke to her in a pretty disrespectful way and she was in her feminine totally enjoying it. I have confronted her with this but she wasn't completely honest even while she was confessing stuff, I have decided to not keep anything serious between us as a result of this although she is pleading for things to go back to how they were. All this has now left me really confused, from some study that I have been doing I have sort of come to a conclusion that, this was a case of extreme low self esteem and This girl was not a relationship material. I think to a certain extent this desire is okay, but it can go into dark realms if there are some unresolved issues and traumas. Like in this girl's case. Any suggestions or comments having varied perspectives on this are welcome.
  2. Hi guys I am a 27 year old guy living in New Delhi, I have been bullied In school a lot and had been depressed throughout my college time, I am btech dropout. After returning from college I got into meditation and personal development. ThroughPersonal development and meditation I healed myself to a good extent in my last 3-4 years time. I developed confidence and charisma in me which I had completely lacked . Having complete lack of experience with women, I got into pickup and devoted myself for last 2.5 years into it and have grown myself with respect to women a lot. Have been with multiple women during this time, I started as a virgin. I went to Vipassana retreat 2 times till now,10 days of isolation helps me to sit down and formulate a master purpose for my life for the next few years. Since the last 1 year I have been struggling to achieve my goals financially, after working in a few sales job, I joined real-estate sales last year to master it and to make a career in it and fulfill my financial goals, but I have not yet been successful and it's been about 10 months. I also am working on starting a personal development company of my own from scratch, which would be aimed at helping people ( men specially) in growing in all aspects of their lives from fitness, to relationships to spirituality. I am on a journey and I know many of you are out there like me. The journey is hard and long, and it's very easy to give up on the way , the downward pull is very strong, it's also easy when you're on such kind of journey to feel lonely and somehow different than others. Because sadly currently in our society very few people actually has hope and actually "believe". But when you have infront of you others who are like you, whom you can talk to and connect with, it can impact in a hugely positive way. It's true that the people with whom you associate decides how you will turn out to be. live in Mayur vihar In Delhi and I am intending to form some sort of a group of people who are struggling in life build themselves, who are actively doing personal development and working towards that life that they want. Anyone who are into personal development , thinks that such kind of an association will be a positive impact in their lives also can get in touch with me. I don't intend to make it a big group it would be maximum of 4-5 people, we might connect weekly through phone or in person and help each other being accountable, being in line with their growth and being a support when one is going through a vulnerable time.
  3. nope , thanks I'll see it. Thanks guys really happy to see others on the same transformative path I'll go through all of the recommendations you have mentioned and get back here.
  4. I am realising and being conscious of how traumas which I had in my Childhood (not going into details) , they effect my quality of my life on day to day basis and hence my efficiency to achieve my goals, I am on my path to master my charisma, workethics, sales skills( i am in sales) , leadership, my relationship building skills and i am realizing that my traumas are becoming a bottle neck . When I am in a low mood I can feel that limiting trauma energy in me, What is the most efficient way or path to become a person free of trauma? Is it even possible to rid your nervous system entirely of all traumas?
  5. @ajasatya thanks! "expanding means of communication" you mean like learning social media marketing or in which sense?
  6. I am 26 and I am a loser career wise, Now I want to have a great career for Myself which I have wanted Since I was a child. I am good in sales , I have worked on my communication and speaking skills. I allways have had a technical bend of mind but was never grounded , spirituality and pickup has helped me a lot to transform my personality and now I come of as a likeable guy mostly. I Don't have a college degree, Currently I am working in a company in sales, where i'll complete a month next month. I see in me that deep down I have a negative belief that I might never really have a great career. I would appreciate suggestions about how can I from here navigate life so as to realize my goal of having a great career which I really like.
  7. I had been an average student in school , i used to be allways interested in science in school and scored good marks in it, whatever the reason had been i never studied hard in school and got a very worse engineering college.Where i didnt like the studies as it was basically how much you can cram to pass your exams , so i had not studied at all in college and I decided to leave my college degree after 4 years , interestingly i never at that time felt that much need for a degree, maybe it was because i had a very sheltered Life and had very less touch with reality , I dream about becoming an entrepreneur start something of my own although never did till now properly, i am now 26 i have job experience in sales of 6 months in a spiritual resort and now i am currently working in field sales in a company( its a good company) , I love sales although Right now I am finding the job quite tiring, i am ready to Do hard work , but struggling to have a compelling vision for my career in future to get motivated . I allways was passionate and ambitious about my career and i still am but I hardly understood the value of working hard and discipline in school and college. Since when i have found personal development meditation i have worked a lot to change my dysfunctional mentality, Adhd which i had ( i have meditated almost every day for 2 years and took 2retreats) In about 2.5 years of personal development i have become a lot more confident outspoken and grounded than i was when i started , I want to now work and really get career part of my life somewhere as its been forever that i have seen a drastic change in this area of my Life. Which is highly required, I am currently struggling financially and have debts. I would deeply appreciate any suggestions or advice, Also i am on look out for some great books i can read on building a career , would love to take suggestions from people in this forum about it .
  8. Watching the new Leo's video, kinda answered my question , When you see reality without the lens of survival that's how you see reality as it is , without having your perception been effected by the survival needs.
  9. Well If everything is subjective and there's no objective truth out there then how does this phrase "seeing the reality as it is" which we often use in spirituality or even in general life, makes sense ? If there is no "The reality" and we all being gods are constructing our own realities then isn't every reality is "The reality" ? For example we say use phrases like "reality of women" or "reality of corporate world" or "the reality of money and how it works" what does these phases mean if there is no reality out there and everything is subjective.
  10. @Javfly33 well actually 1000 girls in one year is the bare minimum according to standard pick up recommendation. Anyway, so yes age does makes us more confident ( I if we are aging right), since you feel you are more confident than 5 years ago you probably are. But being confident with women is a different thing. Unless you go in front of a girl and are fully feeling confident and are comfortably expressing yourself freely you don't know. There is no way other than taking to a girl face to face to learn and gain confidence with women, keep that in mind. First have a vision for yourself why do you want to do this, maybe you want to have a beautiful fun girlfriend who's great on bed , or may you want a harem of girls or Maybe you want to just work on your masculinity discover it and develop it, whatever it is make it clear why you wanna get better with interacting with women. Then Start the process of taking consistent action and constant learning from them. Make a point to talk to 3, 5 or if you wanna go hard core 10 women a day. Ideally in beginning you should talk to about 100 Girls a month. Journalling about these interactions everyday is very very beneficial, before sleeping write down what you learned what you need to work on and what you're doing good. Along with this watch/read maybe one or two videos/articles every day not more than that, don't indulge in theory much. And along all this when take care of your life other wise, have great health, excercise, meditate daily, have good food, focus on being in a great mood being passionate about your day. If you do this for 3 months consistently you'll skyrocket your not only your confidence and love life but much much more.
  11. I have been journalling for about 2 years , it had helped me a lot , writing down things does have a therapeutic effect. But i am not able keep consistent. I journal about once or twice a week and usually. I just sit down and sort of write about what I am doing in life and where I am going. These days I find that I have very less motivation to journal and find it hard for myself to make myself sit. What are the most effective and efficient ways to journal, how often do you journal and how to make it as a regular habit?
  12. Thanks guys for all your insights, I have decided to go with ahead with Coaching, I decided to go ahead and take a formal Coaching to become a coach, I am Taking arfeen khans life coaching program, through which I'll get certified and choose the relationship and dating niche and coach men specifically. Financially I am now in quite a big debt after paying for the course but it's my life purpose and I don't think I could take a better decision. I am a little scared and also excited. Again thanks to all for your responses.
  13. @ajasatya well I realize these are mere boxings or labels created by our minds. Actually David dieda says something similar about the "3rd stage man", he's who sees life and interacts with life without any boxing of male, female masculine, feminine, he's living from his deepest core and is just being an Expression of that deepest core moment by moment. But understand that's a level of development, you need these "labelings" in the beginning and till you're skilled and developed enough to get rid of them. When you're learning to balance the bicycle you need training wheels so that you don't get hurt as much, you leave the training wheels once you learn to balance. So maybe you're at a level that you don't require these labelings anymore in order to navigate and understand reality, but people who're not there yet we do, and I think suggesting someone something which is not useful for his/her position is dangerous. I in my life have experience where I got distracted for months listening to advanced advice. I request if you please be mindful of this in future, it would enable us to actually get real benefits of an advanced person like yourselves answers.
  14. @Leo Gura yeah, I mean I can myself blow that narrative down. Richard Branson I think is an example whom society too treats pretty well. I do realize this is fundamentally whining. Elliot's value is somehow imprinted in my mind as very high and I seem to rationalize even his teachings which don't really resonate with me. I guess this is why it's important to not be a fan boy, it takes much more mental labor to have my life guided by my own intentions and my own realizations, I see that my level of self esteem also determines to great extent how much I see reality as it is.
  15. I love Elliot hulse, at one point of time I had his voice in my head whenever I was in a difficult situation, suggesting me stuff ( most of the time it included breathing and balls) , these days although his new version seems and looks refreshing and even awakened in some sense, I don't get his ranting about women's nature so much, I think it's coming out of some or the other emotional wound or shadow he has. My speculation is that maybe somewhere he regrets Being With just one women his entire life, I think somewhere deep down inside this is there in him, and maybe that's why he's over reacting. Though sometimes I do feel that society is feminised these days. What are the kind of men we reward in our society? Men like bill gates, mark zukerburg, Jeff bezoz. Bill gates Is a good guy, Jeff bezos I don't know how he is, Mark zukerburg I have seen him in interviews he seems like a very underdeveloped man to me. In general I feel they lack real authenticity in their communication It makes me feel like associating the word "beta" with them. Now look at men like Russle Brand, Charlie Sheen, Tiger woods. They are considered as a bad example , they are shamed for being themselves being authentic. And they all seem to emit vibes I'd call "Alpha". It might seem as if society is structured in a way that if you are a nerdy geek you'll get rewarded, specially the society after 1990's after the internet and computer boom. Although I am not complaining , I want to get an perspective. I am very easily infuenced ( something I am also working on) and Elliot is one of the persons I have let to have a big influence on myself in past. This time I tried to understand him but really can't orient myself with his views fully . I'd love to come across various point of views members of Actualized community might have for him and specially his recent works. Thank you..