Search the Community

I spin around and spin around looking for someone to praise, someone to thank... for... this. For the spinning, the vortex, the orbit, the momentum and I never find anyone. I'll raise you up to the highest level and flatter you till you're perfectly flat again. One thing leads to another, and they all lead back to Me and I am no thing. I'm so Famous, so Universal, so Celebrated I'm an over-looked cliché that means nothing to anyone. I'm a total hit and a total miss. I'm the bullseye with no center. I'm pure, open, circular darkness. I'm your Pupil, the apple of your eye. I'm the vortex, the waterfall, the rush. I'm the power that sweeps you away, the controller that is the controlled. I'm the flush that appears on your face when you come to close to me and try to hide. You must shed your clothes to enter Me. I'm the door that is not there. I'm pure, utter darkness. The door to the house that is not there, the home that has no walls. I never built them. I'm home everywhere. I don't know where, I'm just aware. I'm untouchable. So untouchable that one touch fills you with utter bliss. I'm warm, I'm so warm I'm a fire that consumes without making contact. I'm so cold, I burn. I'm so distant, I gleam with your own light. So close, you long for me. I'm already yours. And you're mine. I'll mine you for secrets, but I know I planted them there. I'm so wild and free that I was planted right here. I'm so perfectly round and spherical, I'm completely cornered.

I can’t remember exactly or which inspiration came first or in what order but I do know that ironically, one of the reasons I got into it was for purely egoic purposes. Like I thought how cool it would be if I got good at sitting like a statue for multiple hours on end. So I started doing that and it worked. Just by sitting perfectly still and keeping your attention on the breath everything slows way way down and it gets easier the more you practice like with anything. I got into yoga for similar reasons. On a side note, doing asanas regularly is super helpful if you want to get good at strong determination sitting. I also found out it can remove a great deal of suffering and get you super high if you practice enough so after learning that I was pretty much sold. After my first ten day vipassana, I felt like I was fifty pounds lighter and my raging mind was a whopping 50-60% quieter for weeks after, no exaggeration. And the peace kept on growing the more I maintained the practice. The bliss grew so strong I almost didn’t know how to handle it all. Easily the closest I’ve ever been to full enlightenment. The danger with me saying all this, however, is that the recipient will hear it and say hell yes, sign me up! The natural tendency is to expect to feel blissed out from all the meditation but that expectation actually blocks you from making progress because spirituality doesn’t like greed. So you have to be very patient. You can avoid that trap by finding the right technique. Vipassana has stood the test of time but it can be ridiculously difficult to get into. After my second retreat, I didn’t get anywhere close to the same result like I was expecting to. So it goes to show just how deep this work actually is.

@BenG these are great questions , happy to help through sharing my subjective experience (p.s. I don’t claim to be a guru nor do I want to be) There was certainly doubt at the beginning. But the key is not halting your inquiry after your mind comes up with doubts for the sake of protecting your worldview. A key here is being skeptical of your skepticism. Ask yourself this question: “If me (and by me, I mean your human name, body and history) never existed, how many problems would I have in life?” What you’ll realize is that most, if not all, of your suffering comes from your identification as the human you think you are. Ridding of this suffering, which created by your Mind, happens when you are able to let go of your human construction. What is left is what I would call bliss…you don’t take life personally, which means you get to play. God realization is the key to getting to this mind-space The sheer fact that no one in society, including people and institutions, is spreading this to the masses. The realization itself would fix 99.999% of the issues we see in the world today. Even further, it is surprising when one expressing Truth, how they are aggressively demonized…as you can see throughout this thread. Something so beautiful to God is very threatening to human Egos. This is the great challenge that all sages and mystics have faced throughout time. We should be very thankful to Leo and Actualized.org for literally putting their life and reputation on the line for teaching these things. Hope that helps.

Ya, I suppoze it's possible. It's interesting since I find, in these moments, I often get more "aroused" when just staying in the subtle realm and "staying with" the awareness or practice or sensations etc. Rather than start physically touching myself, deliberately creating sexual thoughts, etc., which tend to bring me away from the bliss or arousal you speak of. Not always perhaps. But it seems similar to what you describe.

@Shin Unity or letting go of thoughts that seem to feed the illusory sense of separation from complete and utter okayness or bliss. Sex, drugs and rock and roll are just good excuses to be what you already are. Then after the experience more thoughts can come in that say "that felt amazing and now it's gone" which strengthen more thoughts that say you're not ok, and you NEED such and such, which feels awful because that's not true. Then addiction is thought to be a problem had by a separate someone, when in reality, it's all a huge misunderstanding.

We often associate bliss with sex. The body often isn't used to interpreting bliss, passion, arousal as being uncaused.

It can go a million ways but here's how it can go, and it's perhaps not very likely that it will be this way for any particular individual. The stages are largely concurrent but the order is somewhat meaningful. 1. Mystical experiences -- transcend ego to a small degree. Insights such as "through me, reality imagines it is judging itself." 2. Bliss on demand -- relax clinging 3. Relax awareness of any particular object; totally detach from objects -- panoramic figure ground reversal -- Witnessing 4. No separation; field syncs up with itself and there is no hidden sensation appropriating itself as a knower -- there's only wholeness and nothing can be done to get closer or further away from that. 5. Entire field is a philosophical zombie in a sense -- nothing is needed for the empty appearance to be what it already is. No more mystical experiences.

@Bazooka Jesus lol, you mean to day that you feel at bliss at times and then your mood drastically shifts?

I think your mind is using this to trick yourself out of going for what you want. In actuality, being famous has nothing to do with pursuing your passion / art. It's complete irrelevant, you could become famous or you may have very little following, the important part is following your bliss and ignoring any negative self-talk. There is no guarantee that you'll be well known. There are many artist who are underground, the creativity itself is what matters, not the number of fans.

The Path to Mastery: Energy Efficiency and Effortless Ease If you want to get anywhere on the spiritual path , understanding energy efficieny and effortless ease are absolutely fundamental. Let’s call this dysfuntion of physical and mental tension that pervades each moment as ‘The Spiritual Block’ – TSB. There are highly unconscious aspects of TSB which is manifested as mental effort without awareness and physical tension. In simple terms, this is why you feel chronic fatigue. Especially the deep sort where no amount of ‘detox’ protocols or diet changes have any perceptible effect. This is why you can’t look people in the eye. Your shoulders and body tense up and feel this anxiety that appears to have invaded your DNA. This is why just the act of going to the fridge and getting a soda is such a tiring and ‘high effort-no reward’ activity filled with aversion, boredom and lack of motivation. So how do we deal with it? TSB is a form of complex suffering that certain forms of art has tried to address in order to optimize performance. Martial arts is a very clear and masterful sport that incorporates deep spiritual systems in its core operating system. You use the momentum of the opponent to conserve as much energy as possible while only utilizing muscles that needs to be contracted for the completion of the movement and completely relaxing all the other muscle groups that is not necessary for the task at hand. Which in turn conserves more energy and increases efficiency. When you look at any master at any field, you see that they have this inspiring energy efficiency. Not loose relaxation but the perfect levels of tension and relaxation dancing within. Relaxed Alertness is a requirement to the path to mastery. So here is a very tangible practice regimen to practice relaxed alertness. 1- When you are doing any form of passive acitivity (watching TV, Youtube sitting down, laying down etc), make sure that your entire body, especially shoulders, arms and torso are completely relaxed and restful. Not even a little bit of tension should be allowed. Drop them down if you tighten up. 2- When you are doing any form of active movement-related activity (having converstion with someone, playing video games, typing on keyboard etc.) make sure that only the muscle groups that is required for the activity is used and all the other muscle groups are fully relaxed and restful. Not even a little bit of tension should be allowed. If you can drop it, then practice dropping it. In active movements, energy efficiency and tension becomes a deeper issue that requires careful investigation. Here is an example: When you are typing on a keyboard, you don’t want to unnecessarily spend energy with shoulder tension, legs, stomach convulsing as you are thinking about a complex topic. The only muscle group that needs to be used is fingers, hand and elbow. Even then, you should make sure you are not tightening the shoulders to hold the weight of your hands. This is an example when even when you are using the required muscle groups, you need to utilize as much efficiency as possible. Efficiency is defined as the least amount of effort and energy needed to complete any given task. When you see the ‘efficiency’ switch in your nervous system, integration of this efficiency to all life activities will get easier. To see this switch, you need to practice much more physical relaxation. You need to see tension in each movement. And you need to see that 'you' are generating it. Not the external circumstances and people. If you think ‘Oh yeah! I’ve heard of this a million times. I’m doing it but it is not working so well’, just accept that you aren’t practicing any of this to the level that you need to experience any of the benefits that this practice offers. You need to develop this continuous introspective awareness of tension and relaxation and that will lead to positive feedback loop. Let the masters of their respective fields provide you with inspiration. Always attend to how such a high level they’ve mastered energy efficiency and relaxed alertness. Meditation is actually the deepest form of mastery where you can bring this relaxed alertness axiom of mastery to all activities of life. To all young people, ask yourself the question: Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could play Red Dead Redemption 2 like Mozart playing the piano? To all adults, ask yourself this question: Wouldn't it be amazing to attend that social event your boss forces you to in a state of bliss and joy? Not dreading what you are going to say if you see this or that person. Well, you can do that with spiritual training. Do the process I’ve described for all passive and active states in daily life for as much as you can do, slowly your conscious power and awareness will heighten to extremely impressive levels. To such a level that your aura in life will tranform and people's perception of you will dramatically change. Take this very seriously and practice it with resolve. Much love, Arda

When you shift your identity from the puppet or human avatar to the empty space (puppet master) that everything appears in you'll have more realizations and bliss continues and constantly. Practice by seeing your human body as an it and as a hollow thing that is extremely loyal and does whatever you direct it to. Out of body experience will be a normal state of being because your the entire experience of whatever is happening and that's fact.

Excellent question. I would say there are many factors that contribute to this, being on your purpose, lucky circumstances, love, (gratefulness-)meditation or psychedelics. What this really boils down to for me though is Emotional Mastery. Because when you do Emotional Mastery work, that means investigating(changing) your beliefs, healing and releasing emotional wounds/pain-bodies and practicing acceptance, your emotional state will rise naturally. Emotional highs are always fleeting, that is why they are highs. But because you will have less shit that is dragging you down you will be able to enjoy these grateful moments for much longer. Then just be open to whatever comes and set the intention to experience bliss. ❤️

I knew a man at an ayahuasca ceremony, he was taking MDMA, and he couldn’t get into the aya trip, no matter what the shaman did. He told me not to take it because you crash the next day. The bliss seems to come with a price.

Yes. People get so wrapped up in turning the work into this super serious, no fun attitude and it makes no sense to me. It's almost a paradox. Spiritual work is serious, but if you take it too seriously you essentially defeat the point. If you're not feeling good about life on a routine basis then you need to re-evaluate what you're doing. Something isn't right. I bliss the fuck out every time I do MDMA. There is no anxious come up or come down, nothing but pure acceptance of existence in the moment. Love for everything that is. But this is unlikely to happen if you continue to hold on to beliefs about your sense of self. That's fine it's normal. That's what the substances do, help you to work through your personal shit. But once you've worked through all of that you should be able to bask in the bliss of the moment only.

I recently participated in a two day Ayahuasca ceremony, and like my previous experiences, during the actual journey I felt pretty much nothing but pure bliss, rapture, ecstasy. It feels like Spirit is dancing and moving my body and sending me off into cosmic orgasms. It's incredible, until the next morning, when I'm back as a regular human and met with feelings of sadness and disconnection. It's almost like the sensation of getting off a rollercoaster - it's so exhilarating during the ride but then when it ends life feels kind of blah again. The contrast is so intense that I think it magnifies the darker polarities. This usually last for 1-2 days, and then I catch up on sleep and spend some time alone, and I feel back to normal equilibrium again. I'm just wondering if others share this experience and if so what can help with this "post-trip blues"?

@BipolarGrowth Thanks so much for sharing this! Was really helpful to read. I skimmed chapters A&P through Conformity, and I sense that the stage I'm at is Equanimity, though I would need to read the book in more detail to know for sure. That said, the bliss/rapture/ecstasy states in A&P certainly have a lot of overlap with my psychedelic experiences. I pretty consistently have ego death experiences these days, even on relatively small doses, and often dissolve into what I can only describe as Infinite Mind where insights about Truth create a cosmic orgasm-like experience. Except it's not happening to Tucker and to a physical body (as those no longer exist in these states), it's just this abstract bliss that feels like God endlessly ejaculating (in a cosmic not physical sense lol). This last for hours until Consciousness slowly recreates a physical body and ego mind in which I as Tucker come back into form. Often the bliss remains for hours after I'm back in my body, and intense surges of energy course through my body as if Spirit is dancing me. Everything is in perfect harmony and flow, even my ego thoughts which can be witnessed and unconditionally loved. I mention all this to say that I suspect the "Dark Night" feelings are from going from Nonduality to Duality again, and from experiencing Bliss to Equanimity again. Put more bluntly, going from God to Tucker is a bit of a letdown hahaha, although within a day usually a sense of Equanimity returns. Perhaps this is the "Dark Night of Equanimity" that the writer briefly alludes to. My sense is that all these maps and models for meditation and awakening need to be researched and reevaluated through the lensing of psychedelics, as I suspect (though am no expert) that the the progression of insights and embodiment happen in unique ways that may not fully align with traditional awakening models. Let me know your thoughts, brother, and appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom!

In the short drive back from the cinema (Bond was fun), something come together that had been sitting around aimlessly in the background of my thoughts for a while. That was the idea that there are five perspectives to my thoughts/being. I wanted to be neat and have four cardinal directions, but five doesn't fit this nice scheme (but maybe it does). Anyway here they are: Introspective This is the sensation that I'm me experiencing this internal world that is off limits to others and to the world. It seems like my thoughts and ideas are private and unless I make them public they stay that way. It seems like there's a whole internal (private) world that I inhabit and I'm both its master and its slave. This is the world I go to to ruminate and instrospect, and is the container for the ego and sense of a self doing stuff. Behind it all there's a sense of observation and ownership. Extrospective It's possible to flip out of the introspective direction and be in the world instead. You are party to everything that's going on around you and you belong to it. This is where your physical body is and all it's pains and disease and pleasures. In this perspective people are important and the laws of physics hold, the law of money and survival also impose themselves. When in a flow state, there's little introspective or self-awareness and it's all focused out there and externally. At moments of high emotion or drama, the blood pumps and the adrenaline runs, you are there and very present. This is where you are in moments of bliss and having fun at a party or doing your favourite activity. Retrospective This is the strong sense that you have a history. This is the world of memory and relationships and knowledge accumulated over years. Here is were yesterday happened and what you had for breakfast. Here is where you know how old you are and from where you can see the story arc of your life. You can corroborate your stories and flashbacks with others and build a sense of continuity and knowledge that you were born. Your body feels like it has taken on the pleasures and traumas of the past and that these things define who you are now - maybe it's even the perspective of identity itself. To delete or deny or rewrite the personal past feels wrong and against natural law, because without it how can you be you? Futurospective From here is the place of potential and hope. This is where self-improvement and goals and all that doing lives. It's the source of fantasy and what ifs and new ways of being and behaving; dreams. If retrospective tells you why you are you, then futurospective lets you expand outwards to be anyone you want to be. It's also the perspective of fear and anxiety, having that certainty that bad things will happen and that that inevitable day will come whether you like it or not. It is where your own death resides. But if things are bad now, the future always holds hope that the badness will be washed away to be replaced by goodness. It's the place where families are planned, new friends made, and that you will become what you've always wanted to be. Now-spective From this perspective you are content to sit and be one with all the other perspectives. It is the centre of the maelstrom of being alive itself. It's possible to live from this perspective constantly. It is a place of refuge from the other perspectives: the past cannot reach you any more, the future has yet to affect you, and both the internal and external worlds are one and the same. It's both a prison you cannot escape from (except to go into other perspectives), and yet is everything and delightful, if space is given over to this perspective. It is both the container and canvas for the other perspectives, and the place to realise the other perspectives are just tall tales. From here being a child feels like just now, and being old and grey haired will be just soon. Nothing happens here, time stands still, and you are everything at once, everytime at once. There is nothing to observe except observation itself. This is a place of rest.

That is sort of a testimony, no offense I hope, as to what I suggested. You’re already under an impression there is a second source (might seem tediously semantical, but it isn’t) and that one could understand nonduality. That’s a big one so to speak, a colossal misnomer. You don’t want conjecture like that creeping into your foundation when you’re just getting started (IMO). I wouldn’t frame it up as letting go of sources. There is one source, and it is impossible to let it go. That might seem like a small point but imo it’s not at all. “Resourcing” or “multi-sourcing” is undermining of oneself but doesn’t initially readily seem so and makes equanimity harder down the path. I also wouldn’t frame as ‘study’. If you want to read someone’s book about their existential experiences, that’s great… but you’re not ‘studying’ it… they’re sharing experiences… and you’re interested in experiencing that sharing. ‘Studying’ (imo) is applicable to memorizing information for an exam, or similar situations. And direct experience isn’t reliable or unreliable, it’s simply direct experience. That, I would explore until there is not a single question remaining. Until you are so satisfied you’re bliss napping face down on the floor as an orgasmic pile of your infinite self. There isn’t really that line. Any studying is ‘in’ direct experience, or, is direct experience. Direct experience is not found in studying. Given those distinctions… and a great understanding of the emotional scale… I don’t really think you need a trip guide & facility. Advice wise, yes, absolutely, of course you should be safe and as conservative as possible, take every precaution possible, and utilize every resource available to you. Personally, I prefer a long weekend in a cabin in the woods alone. But, so to speak, my understanding of emotion is astute and crystal clear. You could think of that (if you will) as the actuality for what the belief ‘mental stability’ points to. Or maybe we are actually saying the same thing in that regard, idk.

@Raptorsin7 oh no no no, do not misunderstand me, the whole thing is amazing! There is bliss in work and there is bliss in relaxation, in fact they cannot be separated.

If you made progress that quickly, you are probably quite naturally talented. Your description of God is good. We however can't know whether it was only conceptual (from listening to Leo's videos) or actual awakening. It seems like actual awakening though. Ask yourself whether you have any doubts about your awakening. like: "maybe it was just a hallucination/deception from neurons in my brain". If you actually reached God, there is no doubt. Though, if you didn't have a deep God awakening, there can still be doubt. That kind of doubt doesn't mean that the awakening wasn't legit, but that you didn't go deep enough. God is Love and Consciousness and Nothingness and Infinity.... But that doesn't mean you will be highly conscious of each of these facets during every awakening. When you are more experienced yes, but not at the beginning. IMO, the most effective way to increase your baseline consciousness is through transmissions . They are also pretty effective to experience more bliss and become happier. Buy the book "greater words of power" by Damon Brand and do the ritual "the Road Opener". It's worth a try.

@DoTheWork try this: It’s insane, I’ve never experienced so much bliss. Jan Esmann & Gareth helped me make more progress (when it comes to Kundalini Awakening) in the past months than I‘ve done in the past years. Will share my experience in more detail soon.

Well said! I definitely had a low-key manic phase where I went around telling all my friends, family, etc about how they needed to meditate and directly perceive reality. I wanted them all to share in that bliss. A few awakening/insight/satori experiences later, I understood how futile and empty that compulsion it was. It was more of wanting to be viewed as some awakened being than actually having a genuine drive to teach. A few close friends still do consult with me about practices, but I never pressure, only reply to what they need at that moment. As you said, everyone has their own path

Anytime, my dude. I'll admit that I have been disheartened by the extreme solipsism vibes that some posters give off here. We can only retreat into DMT tunnels and infinite bliss voids for a certain amount of time before we come back to the basic ideas of Zen... All ideas are dualistic and wrong. If we think we have the full truth, we are just making up stories that sound true. Materialism does not have the "whole picture," but neither does Leo's model, nor does Buddhism, or Christianity, or any other philosophy in history. The thing I do like about this forum is that there are many who make an earnest attempt to understand reality using the tools we have. Anyway, to cut my ranting short, happy to talk about this stuff anytime—PM me if you get a little worn down by the absolutist talk and want to wax philosophy/existence Cheers.

I've had several sessions with @@Nahm here on the forum. There's definitely a huge energetic shift thing going on, but also just conversation and addressing stuff about life that seems to be a source of suffering. Lots of insights and understanding. My personal opinion is that presenting transmissions as a "thing" that one person gives to another person and comes from a specific direction is a bit counterproductive, and kind of takes away from the magic of what its really about. But it's definitely "real". Impossible to define or explain, so I guess any language you stick of it will inevitably sound misrepresented. Sometimes I come away with a energetic buzz, bliss, heightened synchronicity, other times lose my appetite for a week., and almost always have more clarity and direction. In the beginning with I let my idea of him and self concept block the seeing of the bullshit I was wanting to see through. I also had the benefit of experiencing from communication here that there was some sort of beyond logicall connection and knowledge going on before I ever talked with him "in person". There's a pattern of overlooking what's already here for something great out there. How fitting that here on the forum, we already got the best. And... ultimately it's already what you are. ❤ But yeah, over 20,000 posts here and who knows how many PM's helping people, hours and hours of his time given for free, helping people, awakening people. My advice, if you're wanting to spend money and check out what transmissions are about, try Phil.

All I can offer about this whole mahasamadi/void thing is that nothing bad can come of it. If it doesn't happen... voila, you're alive and back to normal human life. If it does happen and all of reality dissolves into infinite unity-bliss for the rest of eternity, well, shit, who are you to complain? No more need to pay taxes or get prostate checks