Mu_

I say what I'm about to say with no desire to make a declaration or claim of any sort, just to put into word with the best of intentions and honesty to describe what troubles me as of late. Nothing is constant anymore except perhaps the nature of color remaining with in its spectrums as the supposed inner and outer world are in constant flux, morphing ever so slightly into occasional explainable patterns. The body has mostly disappeared, but occasionally shows up like a vague phantom of just experiencing a leg drifting in space or in proximity to what it may have once felt like to have a leg in a localized space. Awareness and being seem to be a more consistent constant of life, in a world where the knowledge and experience of time are almost forgotten. Discomfort and happiness come and go at regular intervals with no warning or knowledge of their arrival or departure. The activities of my life occasionally just seem to do themselves. I have no idea how I do my job or drive, it just seems to happen and get done effectively, despite really having no idea how. Some how I still seem to express a relatively normal and more so than not positive personality, but feel regularly troubled in this strange space in which seemed to be "enlightenment" until it was not. Hopefully this will finally pass one day. For a while the best way I could describe what was happening was like the villain in Everything Everywhere All At Once. while not as extreme externally by any means, but the experience of the world at times felt very much like a constant morphing with varying degree's of intensity, feeling half solid, while half empty in the Buddhist sense. Like literally, half a body on what felt like one side, and like a line drawn down the middle of experience, half enternal, no boundaries expanding great lengths, with deep void and emptiness. Not loneliness, I've forgotten what that feels like, but empty of distinction and quality. The hardest and most difficult to explain is this weird quality of emptiness and fullness than grow and shrink in various intensities and simultaneous strange distortions of the two that happen throughout the day. Thankfully not constant but enough to be troubled by it, like a storm out of no where. There's all sorts of things maybe one day I'll have words for or science and humanity will catch up and be able to catalog such things with greater accuracy, but for now all I got is reference points grounded in a language and a world I know is not fundamentally as it seems to begin with and ultimately couldn't be fully understood or cataloged.

Found this video randomly today and it really blew me away how much was pointed to and could be understood/experienced in a few minutes. She laid out how to discover yourself in one of the deepest ways possible in a easy to follow, logical, experiential step by step fashion. Try and watch it to at least 2 minutes to really hear and feel it out. I've been investigating this stuff for over 25 years and can't believe I've never heard it laid out so simply while at the same time giving you the time to see it for yourself in real time. Most the time either this kinda stuff is so long winded that you don't know what to make of it, or its put into concepts and abstractions that you don't know how to get anything out of or experience.

@Someone here Long time no see. Sorry to hear your having a hard time with all of this. I'm struggling a lot these days to. I'm not sure there is an easy answer to your issue, but two things came to mind that have shifted things for me in the past. One is a silly Indian fable some guru told his student. A monkey climbed up a tree to get a banana, as he climbed to the top of the tree, he slipped and fell. He never got the banana, and died that day. Thats it. Some stories end like that. My sense is your at odds with dying and pain. You also have a concept that its all meaningless because of this, and why would it be like this. Really become okay with this natural fact, AND take care of your ordinary life despite it could end and become painful any moment. Just stop being held back by this notion. Really acknowledge this if its true or not. Wish you well.

@Synchronicity likewise there is no inside of your body, there is just a body, and you define the head as on top and the feet at the bottom but it’s one connected unit with no inside or outside of it. It’s only through language and terminology that you’ve sectioned it into pieces and feel it in pieces.

But the inside is all connected like a solid ball. If your just a solid ball with no outside, there is no inside the ball 🏀 it’s just ball ball ball ball. likewise. There is no objective front of a tree. And no top of a lake. These require other separate things and definitions to create.

What would it be inside to if it’s the only one event, your looking at it as though it’s a human inside the space looking around so there is an inside, but the whole thing itself. There is no outside it or inside it, just IT. This is a none measurable event.

@Synchronicity also in a finite uncaised reality there would be no outside of it and no inside of it, it would be a unified unseperable self contained self knowing self defining phenomenon. It would only be able to measure itself by creating its own imposed separation to say this is a length and this is a space. Same would go with supposed time , it would define what constitutes a thing called time or not.

@Synchronicity ya I don’t know what to say. There’s always “something”. There is no possibility for nothing. If there was ever nothing, there would never be anything again, for there would be no way for something to exist. to say reality could just happen when there is absolutely nothing at all is illogical. so the fact there is @something” means it could not come from something else for if it did it would be connected and this the same thing.

I’m not sure if we need to prove time but your theory depends on it since your saying time which hasn’t been qualified yet can extend for a length and stop in this uncaused finite reality. in fact this theory depends on time being real in it to be a grounds for the disproval of the other proof I started with. And yet you or I don’t know what time is to begin with. Your now saying you could theorize ways in which time could be to work in this fictitious idea when you or I don’t know what any of it is to begin with or if it’s even real to start. Leo is right, logic’ can come up with all sorts of ways to believe something.

Who would be tracking this start and end to even call it that. Who or what is saying there is time in this theory. Time is just a theory at this point and this theory your presenting is saying a thing called time which hasn’t been proven yet is in it. it kinda feels like a theory that insists on 4 dimensional triangles need to be disproved before we can accept oneness.

@Synchronicity is this theory also implying this type of reality could end, and then begin again with no connection or cause to the previous one? And in that space where one begins and the other ends, there isn’t “nothing” happening in that transition. lol

@Synchronicity @Synchronicity I mean it’s interesting, but who or what is determining time in this theory. if it is truely just a self contained event that starts with no cause, it is One and only it could determine if there is time or not, humans have no domain in this subject. This self contained world could grow things that are extensions of it/it’s starting point who may make up concepts about itself and talk about things called time and call it seconds or blips but again it’s a self contained one event. So that’s a whole other bag of worms.

So there is nothing prior to it but it started? And start does not imply it came into existence, it’s when exaistance and time began, and there is nothing prior to outside of it. Who’s determining time in this world?

So it started from nothing or it was always there?

So it started 1 trillion years ago, so did the unplaced stuff start then as well?