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I accept that. And I think total identification with everything leads to love realization. And total disidentification leads to nothingness. I also think these are two truths about reality at the same time being equally true. One is that "I am everything". Another is "I'm am Nothing" I feel they are both true. One leads to total disidentification from everything and end of suffering another leads to total merging into existence. Total engrossed into existence and loving existence with all you have. One is dissmising existence totally another is accepting and loving existence totally. Two sides of the same coin. Yin and yang. What are your thoughts on this?

Recent months have been very healing for me, in many ways, but the greatest aspects of my healing and resolvement of certain inner conflicts have come from my awakening experiences. I recently tried DMT (not 5-meo) and from that I had my biggest awakening yet. I am still a bit puzzled by what defines just a trip and an actual awakening. It seems like psychedelics takes me for a journey way beyond what I'm ready for, but there is only like 0.5% left after the trip that "sticks". Whenever I meditate nowadays for example I feel as if I am going back to that void that I call it, where Nothingness is everything, though not as intense as during the trip. So I guess the psychedelics have had some type of permanent effect, but it doesn't resolve my confusion regarding this whole thing or what the end goal might be. It seems as if I am just scratching the surface though, since my "ego" and identity cannot fully surender to Nothing. The best way I can describe it is that I have experienced God but still separate from me and the thoughts that I hear. For me the thought of Me and Everything are separate. Still Everything feels so complete. It's like watching a screen that contains everything you could imagine, but there is still the observer. It's "together" but still not the same. Even though the thoughts have had less of a significance I still have the belief of who "I" am in the present moment. I do not know how to go past this, even if it seems like my awakenings are getting "deeper" since it makes more sense. It feels like I am enjoying just observing Truth, but I cannot be It. But I wonder, how far/deep can you actually awaken? What is the ultimate level, does it even exist? My confusion comes mostly from listening to so many different teachers; some say there is only one awakening, and then life goes on as a sort of Buddha-hood, some claim infinite awakenings, some claim infinite awakenings as being one ultimate... I feel like all these ideas I have are really dragging me down. The theoretical foundation has helped me a lot but my fear is that the infinite awakenings actually have no end and I'll just end up chasing my own tail for some ultimate realization, like the last of the last. But I guess that might just be another duality. Still it feels like my deeper awakenings are not really 'deep', it's not even the right words, it's just that a vail is lifted, constantly, like "How f^cking clear can it become?!" Is there any mindset that could help me, or should I just keep going and only trust my own discoveries? Because as it seems now, my allowing the ego to surrender would be the ultimate, merging into Love. Still, I'm thinking that it might just be the start, and that would scare me even more since I can't even accept letting go of ME first. Hope I made some sense.

I felt the need to externally acknowledge to myself, on the forum, that I've completely finished the actualized.org chapter, as part of my healing and integration. As part of that I felt a calling to share whatever last remaining energies I felt about actualized.org in terms of me finishing up, and with that the opportunity to let those last energies go before moving on. There's no adherence to structure or form or agenda really. So its not polished or meant to change people's minds, its really for me. So before expressing those energies, I want to acknowledge that actualized.org was an integral part of my journey. I was very very lost back early 2016 when I first stumbled across actualized.org. I was just entering my first year of university with absolutely no knowledge of spirituality in general, all I knew was what my parents, teachers and media taught me. Actualized.org's video on "the most shocking truth..." opened me right up to a new sense of reality that I was extremely drawn to. It was a rough journey for me from 2016 till about mid 2020, trying to battle my immature desires based on subconscious social conditioning around sexuality, my career and toxic relationships, with my yearning for filling my life entirely up with spirituality, yet without actualized.org, I am afraid to think what would of happened to me. I've had autism all my life, and I've been naturally spiritual, so I really needed (and still do to a large extent) help with navigating spiritual planes back then and without that help I would of been in a whole world of pain, so I consider actualized.org kind of an initial savior for me until I ventured off into deeper teachings and live communities around tantra yoga(sexual and non sexual), psychedelics, hatha yoga and emotional healing communities around mid 2020. I'm going to just write directly from the heart and discard the thoughts/social patterns and conditioning telling me I need to structure this well or that it needs to make sense or impress people... I've felt, my entire life, extremely disconnected. Because I have deep down felt like I didn't fit in anywhere, and I always noticed that how I thought about things, my views, my journey, was extremely different to most people, or everyone else, and while I've been through a shit tonne of challenges throughout my spiritual journey, and definitely before too with the childhood traumas and bullying I faced, the negative emotions which stands out to me the most, and makes me want to cry, and that have been persistent throughout my entire life is a deep feeling of disconnectedness from feeling so different from everyone else and not really having much in common with people. Its made me feel insecure about my ability to really learn from spiritual teachers, because I didn't know whether they "got me" or whether I "got them". I felt like no one understood me, knew who I was, I felt like I was always pretending with people. I felt like they thought they knew who I was, but didn't really. I felt like I knew them a lot more then they knew me and that I had to put effort into always fitting in. This IS the biggest trauma of my life. Without this trauma, I've got literally no traumas left. Its rock bottom, and its so so so deep. It is who I identified with my entire life, without this trauma, I would have to reimagine who I truly am. And the amazing thing is, I've done that, I did it yesterday at a healing course that went for 4 days. And I'm over the moon because I literally now am almost at the point where I've fully reconnected with myself and have no big traumas left. And I just through the massive shift, had to share what I saw, even if its not relevant or doesn't help anyone, because it relates to my journey at actualized.org, and if I don't share this shift here then it wont feel like the shift is complete. Things started to get really challenging for me about a year ago when I went a bit deep in my psychedelic journey. I've got a very natural calling for following and embodying the path of psychedelic shamanism. Because in 2020 I went through a dozen or so awakenings, I entered a state of consciousness where I wasn't the do-er anymore, which meant "you shouldnt do this" or "you should do that" didn't make sense to me anymore because I felt like the universe was in control and not little electroBeam. So I was going quite deep, potentially dangerously deep into psychedelics, and people telling me "you shouldnt do it" or "its irresponsible" or "its stupid" didn't make sense to me because I wasn't the doer. LOL. So I kept going anyway even if it was perceived as stupid. I felt like people telling me that stuff was part of the story God was creating to show me a greater and even bigger lesson. So naturally didnt really listen, and sometimes I half listened and half didnt, and it was a bit confusing and scary and weird and super strange but most importantly, in the end super powerful. I had a big dose of mushrooms (through following my intuition) and what it showed me was incredibly deep and incredibly scary. And I was seeing this stuff within the context of non-doership, which meant I truly didnt feel like I was the one who chose to take this big mushroom trip. Sometimes I didnt know and thought I was going crazy, did I take this big mushroom trip or not? It feel really right to take it but everyone around me is saying its super dangerous. And the feeling of non doership is scaring me a bit because I feel like I've got no control into how deep my psychedelic path is going to go, God's gonna take me deep and I've kinda got no choice. It was scary AF. I had a total of 3 hero dose mushroom trips over the span of like 2 months, again all not my choice. It just happened that way. It felt really like fate, like God's chosen me to do this. Which in itself was a bit insane, because it felt that way sober too. Feelings of like "why me?" Came up often. The scariest part of the 1st mushroom trip was my entire life felt like it was created by me sitting in my room for 3 minutes and just getting lost in thought, and that the Truth beyond that 3 minutes (which was my entire fucking life) was something extremely bigger. And thats scary enough but the fact that you can't connect with many people about this is what makes it more negative because theres a deep sense of disconnection that you're doing this alone, maybe one of the only few people on the planet doing this. I had problems picking up girls because I was the non doer, so I couldnt pickup girls because there was no me, and I just thought that I couldnt pick up girls because I was too ugly, but the trip showed me that the girls didn't even exist in the first place, which felt extremely extremely disconnecting. Infinity to the power of infinity to the power of infinity levels of disconnection and depersonalization. Like solopsism. The last bit that was really scary was the mushrooms told me that this state of consciousness was how I always was, and that I just lost it during my personal life journey somewhere. That last part was probably the most challenging, because the trip felt extremely disconnecting, and then its telling me its been like this for eternity LOL. However, I was doing this stuff, this path, while in an enlightened state of mind, so no matter how bad things got, I lost the ability to really care. LOL. So when I was integrating that trip, It was extremely scary and horrible, but I didn't think about deciding to run away from this shamanic path because I lost the ability to react to how scary it was because theres no me, and I'm not the doer. So I took another high dose mushroom trip which was a trillion times deeper. The Tao ebbed into another even deeper trip. And yeah very amazing experience, highly challenging but loved it. I saw beyond mahasamadhi by a trillion, everything leo said in his 30 day awakening video was just a spec of dust compared to the peak of this trip. Loved the depth but scary as fuck hahaha. Leo's teachings said that your point of view is the only point of view that exists, and that you're imagining reality. That scared the shit out of me because that feels extremely disconnecting. Like theres no one else but you. And the other thing I hated about that teaching was my God state of mind is so powerful and beautiful that I want to share it, but how the fuck do I share it when I'm all alone? I can't!!! And I experienced that during the first mushroom trip and that sucked. The other part of that teaching I hated was this sense that there's no one to look up to but me, which means if I've got problems no one can help me. I saw all of that on the mushroom trips and integrated all of that into my life. Kinda just put up with it and got on with it. Like at the end of the day, no matter what the truth is, you can always accept it and love it so. Then I had a cactus trip, where what I saw on it was I was accessing really deep states of consciousness and afraid to share it out of fear that I would get locked up in jail or someone would take me to the hospital. Which explained why I always took ayahuasca, mushrooms, cactus alone either in my room or out in the forest. I felt much more safe taking ayahuasca at home alone then in ceremony. Always. Lastly I had a ceremony with someone, and he gave me a dose that was waaay too high for what I could handle. The first cup I handled myself, my entire life again dissolved into a few tiny seconds of God thinking or mentally masturbating to himself lol, then I got total amnesia and forgot where I was or who I was or even forgot I was born and lived, and I was just in this spiral place, where I felt happiness and suffering. And The aya was taking me meta on happiness and suffering LOL to the point that I couldn't even tell what I wanted anymore because it showed me how happiness and suffering were one, and it was super dissociative because I rely on chasing happiness and letting go of suffering to grow and traverse my path but if I loose the ability to care about that then... I dont feel like doing anything or growing or whatever. So it was a bit horrible but then again wasnt because I lost the ability to know horribleness. Then I left the spiral and came back and remembered where I was and who I was, etc. And was like wow. The shaman said thats a tiny dose just to prep you for the second cup and thats when sparks fly. So I took a trillion times more potent dose then that cup and wow.... I lost my shit physically and was running around like a freak. But what I remember the most from that second cup was I remember realizing completely that I was God, and that people are trying to find god through making nuclear bombs (because they are inspired to do that) but they should just walk up to electroBeam because they are confused and they just want electroBeam LOL. And then (this is so cool and powerful) I asked myself "why am I God" and the answer was because I created it that way LOOOL. HAHAHA. I'm God because I wanted to be God. I created everything including myself hahahahaha. Its not because of everything or nothingness or all that bollocks, I created all that everything and nothingness crap but the only truth is I'm God because I decided to create myself. And then everything else spawned from that. Then the trip got extremely hellish because I asked myself "Why is there satan and hell" and then I couldn't tell the difference between god and satan. Which means I couldn't tell whether God was good or bad. Like what if God is only good because I created God/myself that way and therefore God isn't really good. God is netural or even possible the devil and he created himself good to cover that up. And how can I truly know thats not true when I created God? Which then made me feel like I was literally hitler. Which was absolutely hell. A massive letdown. And again extremely dissociative. Then I went into a massive thought loop that did like 500 rounds. Where I really wanted to leave the trip (because it was hell) and as soon as I left the trip and got out of it, my shaman said well done you did it!!! And then I asked did what? Then I sank right back into hell/the trip again/went back in time, then I went through hell got out of it and again the shaman said well done you did it!!! And then I asked did what (I had amnesia so I forgot about what getting out of the trip meant) and that happened 500 times after the 200th time I was 100% convinced that the truth was I was in this hell loop my entire eternal existence and my life was a failed attempt of trying to get out of it(which all didnt feel too great lool). and I kept asking where is the shaman and as soon as I saw him he dissolved, so I lost hope in thinking hes real. Then finally the trip wore off a bit and I was in a concentration camp which made me do some things I wish I didnt and then finally got out of it. But again I'm in an enlightened state of mind so that trip gave me 0 trauma and I literally didnt care after it happened. I dont want to experience that again but dont really care if I do. So I don't wish to elaborate on more details, there's a last bit of energy I'm feeling now that I want to let go of directly, and that's the climax of this entire journey I've had(especially recently) which I arrived to yesterday during my healing course. I feel like I'm not expressing myself super convincingly, and I could express it much more. But I'm not hear to convince, I'm hear to tell my truth and to let go of energies. I went to a healing course where they taught unconditional love healing. Long process but in a nutshell I discovered some extremely deep childhood traumas that I wasn't even conscious of. I went deep into a childhood memory of my dad telling me "if you keep this up, your brain will get zapped, see on the TV that guy having his brain zapped? That will be you if you keep this up". I was 3 years old. He was talking about the brain zapping doctor thing, I remembered that all my life but forgot WHY he said it. The healing brought up WHY he said it. I remembered sooooooo much about my life from the age of 2-5. I remember seeing beings and entities in my sober state of consciousness, and energies everywhere, similar to medium dose mushroom trips. And I use to talk to them all the time, feel them, see them. They actually helped me function in society, I remember being on the couch and talking to a being I saw every morning, and why my mum asked me what I wanted for breakfast, I would ask that being what I should say, and he/she would give me advice. Back when I was 2-5 years of age, the ego wasn't too much of a thing for me and the transition to enlightenment wasn't really existent. I remember seeing hallucinations, patterns in the carpet, etc. I said this stuff out loud to an audience of people, and the fear and emotions I felt were overwhelming. Definitely cried hardcore. What was so scary about saying this stuff is I have very deeply rooted beliefs within me that if I say this stuff to people that will lock me up or take me to a psyche ward. And I got that from my parents!!! I saw that I was projecting that trauma of my parents cutting me off from my interdimensional beings in Leo's teachings. My mushroom trips were so dissociative because of that trauma. My ceremonial ayahuasca trip went a bit bad because of that trauma. The whole idea that you're god and that you're the only one that exists is not the Truth, its a trauma of mine. I feel so disconnected from spirit (because my parents told me they would literally put me in a psyche ward for the connection) and that disconnection showed up in my super deep mushroom trips. I thought (because of Leo's teachings) the mushrooms were telling me I'm the only one that exists, but that's not true, there are humans out there and they all do exist. What the mushrooms were actually telling me was I'm a little unique in that I saw spirit when I was at a young age. So I turned "you are a little different because you saw spirit at a young age" into "you are different because youre god and only you exist and no other humans exist". Also the mushrooms told me that I had never left that state of consciousness (that the mushrooms took me in). And I turned that into my entire life is completely made up and I'm stuck in a hell loop, which is untrue because here I am again and my life is real. The mushrooms were showing me that I just was in it when I was 2-5. Not that the truth is I'm stuck in a hell loop. Same with the ayahuasca ceremony, the whole hell loop was just a way of telling me I never left and my parental trauma made it seem like I left. Its true that I'm God and I created myself (as God) but I always also felt strong disconnection, I felt separated from other people while in that state (which you wouldnt have experienced it because you dont have the same trauma as me) but thats absolutely hell HAHAHAHA. Did it anyway because im the spiritual boss. Proud of myself to be honest. The biggest thing that healing workshop gave me was it showed me how by not speaking my truth, I was not allowing trauma to release which was manifesting as hellish trips and physical aliments. The whole trauma gave me autism, as soon as I let go of the trauma, all of my autism dissolved. I asked myself during the healing "how do I connect with humans if I've always at a young age been speaking to inter-dimensional beings" and the answer I got was "you need to stop excluding that aspect of yourself when talking to other people, the inter-dimensional beings are apart of your identity and you need them to function in the world, otherwise you will have autism". Which simply means I need to say fuck you to the fears of being put into jail or hospital for speaking my truth and do it anyway. Once I saw that trauma and let it go I was able to feel my Godheadness while also feeling connected to everyone. I took ayahuasca in the park the next day after the workshop. And I felt everything that I felt the last times, but with the new understanding that this wasn't unfamiliar to me, I had experienced this as a kid. And I freely and happily got lost in the state of mind, the state where your life all compresses and dissolves into a tiny ball, everything blends in with each other, the words blend into the visuals which blend into the concepts which blends into the body, every human body is like a little desktop icon all connected to the collective human consciousness, hallucinations, patterns. That sense that its been like that for eternity. The ayahuasca told me and showed me how I was misinterpreting the previous trips and projecting childhood traumas on it, and how the actual messages they were trying to show me was just what I experienced as a kid and how im reconnecting with it. I was reacting to the messages and being dramatic and thats where the suffering came from. I did it specifically in public in the park because I wanted to really integrate this state of consciousness into my daily life. Its the way of embodying the resolve of my biggest, and now pretty much only, trauma. If I cant be on ayahuasca in public, then I'm recurring the pattern of hiding that state of consciousness from my parents, when deep down it wanted to be let out. And that's it, Leo's last and highest teachings of you are god, only your POV exists, blablabla. I experienced that, and saw how the negative parts of it were my own deep deep deep childhood traumas projections, and now I'm embodying the resolve of it literally by taking ayahuasca in the park and speaking to people in that state of mind and practicing being ok with it. If I can be ok in the peak of an ayahuasca trip while talking to people, I've just shown I'm not afraid of showing who I truly am to the world. I'll probably get judged here for that story, definitely I don't think this place is the most loving and non judgmental it can be sometimes. I've been called stupid, idiot by Leo for expressing some of this path, and I've been called all sorts of shit by the other forum members for expressing my path too. Been banned(but brought back) partially because I was just expressing this truth of mine. What I really liked about the healing workshop I did, was they didn't judge me though, for all the stuff I was doing, they welcomed it, said it was brave, honorable and extremely genuine and authentic. And that was the straw that broke the camel's back, for the first time in my life someone accepted and believed in my unique connection with spirit. The exact opposite of what my parents did when I was a kid. And the opposite of what this forum did a lot of the time too. And theres no reason why you should end up in jail or end up in a psyche ward for taking ayahuasca in public. Absolutely none. Theres no rational reason for it, and I didnt when I took and got lost in the state in the park after my healing workshop. I realized during that trip that by taking ayahuasca in the park in public, I'm being my highest and true self, and people WILL get triggered by it because my highest self will prompt them to look within, but if I maintain my authenticity, the most that a lot if not all of them will do is walk away from me from not wanting to look at their own traumas. They wont come and try and lock me up or put me in jail because that will just make them spend more time with me, which means more time that they will be prompted to look at their traumas. So I'm safe, and its irrational and quite frankly ignorant to think that taking aya in public is a problem. And I guess the other bit is I'm aware of this. Maybe people who trip in public and get into trouble aren't aware of this, and maybe thats what makes the difference. I'm aware of this during the peak of my trip because its related to the biggest trauma of mine.

I've had the experience you are describing. What if the answer to the questions you ask is nobody or nothingness? Because all elements of the self or me, do move and change. What is unmoving is of no substance or attribute... Is that what the insight is meant to be?

@silene This would be of the former stance I think, which is duality within nonduality? Dependent origination, Dzogchen, the Dao, I've seen quite a few philosophies which acknowledge the duality within nonduality. The opposing stance would be to experience the same thing but see there to only be somethingness. @Nahm It does completely shut down conversation to eradicate terms of duality, it is impossible to share any mystical experience without saying things like I, this, that, X, Y. You can see Leo say "I" smoked 5-MeO for 30 days, or "I" became infinity. It's just a fact you have to use this wording. If a randomer off Google were to read trip reports where things are explained as such, it would be easy to understand, which I think is of utmost importance... 99% of people are never going to smoke DMT etc (I insist on saying "other people"), so any part of the 1% who do decide to, should be incredibly concise and pay the most attention to using the most basic and human wording. I said to imagine the man because that is what triggered this within a trip. Which was that I was watching these jester things then they pointed at me as if to say "don't look here, see what's back there". And it intensified from there. It became such that all of "me" was also some form just like the jesters. Which means the word "I" is a thought and hence form and hence observed, my name is a thought, my emotions are observed, there was literally no me left of me, because me was observed and I was the observer. I is not what you'd think of as the accurate term but I think that's inconsequential... I became pure consciousness and it was nothing, because everything was removed from this so of course if literally every thing is removed, there's just nothing. But nothing could not be without something, so the something must appear to even be able to know the nothing. I am not adding re-interpretations, it's exactly as it happened. But I think the experience could be had where nothingness is there, or there is no nothingness. I've had both in fact, the experience mentioned, and also of the merging of all. I don't fully remember everything.

Not so, and this communication is the very evidence of this truth. A character in your mind can do whatever you’re imaging in your mind, so to speak. There are no characters in infinite mind, if you will. That it is / was an experience is the re-contextualization or ‘claiming’ of, as your experience, and is not semantical. An ‘it’ which separated everything from a ‘me’, is not nothing, but is a personal experience of an it and a me. No one thinks. Form and not form is a duality indicative of the post interpretation. The separate self ‘slips in’ behind the scene, behind interpretation, and is woven into the interpretation, which is then re-contextualized as ‘my experience’ (two). Nothing can get back beyond them, because eyes is a thought, the actuality of which is very literally nothing, as in no thing, nothingness. No one knows a you can’t get back because there is no one who ever left. There seems to be an I which experienced and an it and a this consciousness. No one is of the view of anything, view is a thought. There is no it. There is no you. Not two.

@Nahm The "no everyone" thing is of course negating the ability to talk relativistically which negates any possibility of discussion at all. You need the ability to talk as such and say you, me, etc as separate entities. However I think this means that if a character imagined in your mind points into the foreground, you are saying that foreground is not nothingness, but rather not there period. My interpretation getting that insanely fucked on DMT, was that I was nothingness. The experience was that. It separated everything from me. And you think that means the nothingness was seen to be me but it wasn't me anymore... I was appearing to it because any thought or image or literally anything was a form. And this was without form. So like trying to see your own eyes with your eyes. You know how you can't ever get back behind them. This consciousness was not a thing I could get behind, anything that was anything appeared to it. I experienced it that way but I can ascertain you're of the view that it is not nothingness, but rather not there period. Where conversely, although it was literally nothing it seemed to be there to me, it seemed I was it (even though it wasn't me anymore).

Not so. Comes down to direct experience. NPC is an assumption, another way of saying ‘a you’, the implication is ‘you’ are ‘the playable character’. This is not / was not direct experience, this is conjecture. For sure. ?? ? This conflict reveals the ‘experience’ has not been, so to speak, directly experienced. What is realized is there is no everyone, and this is not realized by anyone. This is precisely not “an experience” “identical for everyone”. There is no you. There is no foreground. There is no nothingness. There is no everything. There is no appearance. There is no you. This does not ‘come down to interpretation’. There is no interpretation. “This” is uninterpretable, that is the realization, had by very literally no one.

@Nahm I would arrive at you being an NPC down that route. With literally no assumption, there is just this, I never existed before this or after this, and you are an NPC. We know what I am talking about broadly, I think we can agree to use terms like you and me for the purpose of having a discussion... A full ego death experience is basically identical for everyone, so we are discussing what we make of that experience. So for you was the foreground existent but nothingness, or was the foreground not there period? Or was there a meshing of everything, so any appearances seemed to be identical to you etc.

@Nahm To not talk as a separate self would just turn conversation into incomprehensible babble and extreme semantic difficulty. I don't find that helpful, you would literally never be able to have any discussion if we had to be that regimented... It is useful and we can understand what is meant when I say what I am seeing vs what you are seeing. I am making an assumption that you are seeing and you do know what is meant by that. So I am assuming something which isn't the typical form of Solipsism where the sight of your screen as you read this isn't happening at all. Barring that assumption and agreeing to not be semantic-Nazis, nothingness is not necessarily an assumption. Depending on how you experience what I mention, since I seemed to experience being nothingness. Others will have the same experience but for them it shows there IS no perceiver, not merely that the perceiver is nothingness/void. I'm wondering how and why people arrive at which conclusion.

Which part is the assumption? Everyone does know of form, but the "foreground" (which is formless), is that nothingness or literally non-existent period? Because it can be experienced and hence isn't assumption, but I think it could be experienced differently. My experience was of separation from form, and what remained as nothingness back and away from form which I then was. But it had no elements of me as any me/I was an appearance of form; I just say me/I because it's the only way it makes sense... But I can see people might also say there IS no perceiver. My own experience, I might say perceiver is nothingness, perceived is impermanent nothingness-appearing-as-somethingness, and the two together is contained as a singular eternal unit. But some will say there is only one side of the two, rather than two sides of one coin... Both are nondual but it differs here and I wonder how people have experienced it themselves.

Today I was sitting in a bench, blissing myself out just because , when...it hit me. Of course! Of course meditation is not supposed to fix or help you reach your goals and desires, and attachments. Of course. Meditation is not about the self. Meditation works for you to just make sure that you are always you. With that all entails. Happiness, peace, nothingness, death, right here. And if apart from that, you want to pursue goals attachments and stuff you think you need, by all means, go for it, switch Off the Self, attach to the mind, and try to pilot the beast the best you can, but know that meditation won´t follow you there. You will be alone fighting the wolves with the other wolves. And that´s fine. Not saying that is bad. It is what it is. Attachment, desire, play, it´s Ok. We came here to play. But Meditation is not about playing the game. Don´t expect meditation to help you become rich, don´t expect it to help you pick-up chicks, don´t expect it to help you become even charismatic or fun. Meditation cares strictly about You. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sorry to have missed all the fun. I was away from my computer yesterday! I would like to add that “And this is just my perception”, that many people in these forums like to project they are somewhat enlightened, conscious, aware, and love tossing words like; Nothingness, Love, Duality, Somethingness, Compassion etc. at the end of a statement or argument, which seems they are using to double down and add to their identity as an expert in the field of spirituality. And yet, these very same people have no problem taking a side in the pro-vax party, or anti-vac party as if they know for a “FACT” that their “Truth” is right, and the other side/party is wrong! What ever happened to all the podcasts Leo made about critical thinking and having an open receptive mind etc. Even the North American Natives understood the pit falls of being engrossed with a belief, an identity, and with emotions. They understood that if you want to find a truth, you must walk in the opposite direction with an open mind and an open heart, IE walk a mile in another person’s moccasins before accepting a truth! On another note; what the hell does an opposing point of view have anything to do with “Collective Responsibility”? A collective society can only be healthy when all POVs are accept as having a seed of truth! Labelling “ALL” Antivaxxers as being selfish, self-centred, narcissistic, deplorable, mindless bottom feeders is a state of closed Mindedness at it’s best and worst! I have been experiencing this Earth reality for over sixty years, and believe me when I tell you that your ideas, beliefs, feelings, emotions and the truths that you cling to today will change drastically in twenty years from now! For most of you, your POV of today on this topic will be different tomorrow, why? Those that continue to do the work and question, discern, discriminate every thought, idea, image, belief, feeling and emotion with an open mind will expand their consciousness and begin to see the truths behind the truths, which are behind more truths! Your truth today, will not be your truth tomorrow! Again, I am not for or against the vaccine, and I have played my part! But I am really starting to question the validity and the mind set the pro-vax (sorry, it's just a label to make a point) that are blindly following the dogma of “Lets just keep on taking booster shots to combat every new Covid variant that shows up”! Let’s close the borders and lock our doors! Really, that’s the answer? That’s our collective responsibility? I am not saying it is wrong, but I do question the rabbit hole the pharmaceutical companies are trying to sell us! And so should You! Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas and beliefs!

Infinity/nothingness/noone/nobody/reality/ god/ this/ ...

Green is not red. Blue is not yellow. Green is green. Red is red. Blue is blue. Yellow is yellow. It is simply that red, blue, green, and yellow are all nothingness and THAT is the Oneness. The Oneness is in the shared fundamental reality/nature of all that is. It is not accurate to say green is red, but accurate to say both green and red are not two, since they share the same reality which is this infinity; nothing, something; infinity. I have read trip reports which use the terms of the contrast and say that they are another contrast. But if you use the term of contrast (like the name of a color) you are instantly talking from within the relative domain, and relatively the comparison does not work. It only works from the Absolute domain and that is wordless or infinity. Green is infinity, red is infinity, but green is not red. And green is not the totality of infinity which includes all contrasts.

So this idea of rectal Route of Administration was from this thread: One thing that I CAN confirm right off the bat is that the come up IS twice as fast. Anyways... LSD Trip 002 - My First Mega Download November 24th 2021 This is the first trip where I really let my self dial in focus on contemplating the nature of reality, and the rapid flow of insights kept me up till 6am. I think you'll find some very interesting things if you read this report in full. Also, I am letting you know that I am leaving many things in this report. Things such as stuff related to my life purpose that doesn't need to be shared for the purposes of posting it here. But to also distill it down to the most juicy bits. Also, the things that I find the most interesting, will be bolded, underlined, made bigger, highlighted, etc. >Lines that have ">" are written after the trip (A week later) Trip Report Intention: What is Context? So while tripping I listened to Guided exercise for realizing you are God. I need to take notes on this and identify each individual point that I have grounding my reality. >I know now that I need to further define things such as what does Leo really mean when he says Biology. >The reason why I need to further define these things is because when the idea is fully present, then that's what you know what you are letting go of. It's hard to let go of something that is vague. Which is why the ego must become more present in order to let it go. Woke up. Did an enema 3 -4 times. Dose: 50mcg LSD Taken @ 12:10PM, Rectally. ( Just put the raw tab in my butt, half a finger depth, nothing fancy, next time I might try to dissolve it in vinegar and then a couple drops of coconut milk [As Leo suggested in a thread] and see if it does anything differently. ) Proceeded to clean my room. I put my phone in Focus mode 18 mins Subtle energy shift in the chest? 24min Maybe some vibration in my chest? 34 min Kicking in Frosted glass is moving. Body feels different, Consciousness different The comeup is like a vibratory "anxiety". But it can totally just be interpreted as excitement. >The comeup is definitely twice as fast with rectal ROA, people have experienced the tripping time being cut in half as well, but that MAY or may not be the case. Because at least for my body I'm not sure how long LSD actually lasts for me, it could last 24 HOURS for me, rather than 12. I know that when I compare myself using THC edibles with my friend, 2 hours later after my friend has come down, I am still flying. 43 min Yawns Tired Pupils dilated 1h12min You can trip about contemplating the same thing over and over and go deeper and get more value. The mind is the net that holds reality in it. > I would now rephrase it as: You mind creates reality by interweaving a web of contexts. Without the network of the mind, reality doesn't hold. Without context, there's no reality. What you call "reality" is just a context. Consciousness is spawned in the moment. The moment feeling like forever is BECAUSE that is all there is. This moment can be whisked away thanos style, snap of fingers. Everything is being held together. In this moment. The eternal now. And at some point, it COULD just not exist. But yet it does atm... Opening your mind to the point of crazy is simply opening your mind enough... It's a double edged sword. It's that freedom of consciousness >When you open your mind this far, it gives you freedom to create any story about reality and it will be true for you. Which is why it opens you mind to levels of crazy, which is WHY you can EASILY believe that you are a prophet, because when your mind is open enough, it is simply the case when you make it so. When the mind is so open, you can write ANY story about it and call it truth. The amount of responsibility you take when you open your mind this much is insane. Enlightenment is simply just stripping all context. To the point that it deconstructs your ego, your self. All the ideas grounding you in this room, then all the ideas grounding you in the body. Then all the ideas grounding your consciousness in your head. >I think so. I have the freedom to imagine anything, yet the only thing that happens is this experience. Why is that the case? How do I get out of my head? >I still believe that "I" am in between my ears. I can see very clearly now that the ego is what gets in the way. It grounds reality stronger than an idea. 4hours in, still going hard Reality is just a tightly-knit context. So tightly knit that it feels real. It seems real. But it's a net of context. It's so tightly knit that the illusion is TOTAL. As you unwire each strand of the net you realize just how loose it is. Once you unwire enough strands then you realize that IT IS A NET. >You unravel the illusion. You becoming conscious is you becoming conscious of how Consciousness creates itself. Of how reality weaves itself into a net suspended up in the air with no ground. This full realization of all the contexts I create would reach a peak if my ego was dead. Which is why I see now the serious practicality of doing 5 MeO DMT. And I see how you need to be like there for a while to understand what the hell is that space. I need the neti neti method right now. >I listen to this right to hour 16, where I'm constantly pausing it and writing down more and more insights, keeping me up to 6am. I wonder how powerful it would be if Leo was sitting right here hammering me with questions about self. Like guided self-inquiry. I need to deeply understand what is Fear The search for the true self STARTS when you strip away all context. >This includes stripping away the contexts that you are attached to, which are the contexts that ground your ego. 4hours, 48 min Still going hard. Going deep as I can. Is the "I" present when this body dies? I feel like there's gotta be this big letting go moment. Like my ego is holding on. "I" cannot be sight because that is not ever present. Am "I" a constant? What is that? 5h Visuals in the wall still going hard The amount of concentration I have is unbelievable. I've built up an insane amount of momentum here. It seems like an ego death, an enlightenment is simply a momentum build up? I see how an enlightenment requires momentum. Which makes sense as to why Leo says that a retreat is what's necessary for an enlightenment. I can SEE now how much wage slavery can take away from this momentum. The things that you are alone with are where you're forced to be an expert on. To become awake, I feel like I just gotta do boatloads of self-inquiry for it to work. Patiently neti neti'ng myself over and over. Doing psyches to help during this process. The neti neti method is making you become conscious of certain things. What does it mean to open the mind? To get the courage to see the reality constructs that you create? Your enlightenment search is fueled by your curiosity in finding yourself. 6h 14 min I might actually be coming down now. "What is Context?" It's a perfect question to ask and trip about several times over. Why does the mind love patterns? Because of its ability to give your reality a construct. A context. A context is a pattern that is recognized. >A context is what grounds your reality, making your ego seem more real. The more contexts, the more TOTAL the illusion is. 6h 52 min Sobering up a bit? Still MEGA concentrated. What is Value? To create value is to create a suspended network. Value is a suspended network grounded in context, grounded in absolutely nothing. Why do I feel the need to be better than everybody else? Even if that means just me being better in my own very specific way? Is it because that way I will have a sense of mastery? A sense of accomplishment? At this point I was drawing and writing stuff down, trying to comprehend the magnitude of Leo's genius with his vision of Actualized.org. There is nothing to accomplish, yet reality pushes me in ways in order to evolve my consciousness. The way reality functions is it's evolution. There's nothing to accomplish, yet I'm stuck in a situation where I feel pain if I don't do stuff. An ego was created as a tool. In this tool is very useful because it gets things done. There's too much demonization of the ego. Rather it must be just understood of what it is and the role it plays. It plays a very important role. Without the ego it would be a lot worse in terms of getting stuff accomplished. ^^^but that is all ego justifications. Without ego it's okay if you die. >^The Ego is fighting Ego. I intuit that I must first build a massive lattice structure of understanding in order to get to that enlightenment point. 7h 30 mins Pretty much sober. But it's hard to tell because of the amount of momentum that I built up with my concentration over the past several hours. My head has been massively worked. After I am well versed in stripping away all of reality Constructs, that is when I will smoke 5meo, plug 5meo. At that point enlightenment will be easy to attain. "I" am a lattice structure. >The ego is a tightly weaved context weaved in itself. Creating the FULL and TOTAL illusion that it exists. Just like negative space art. >I am starting to understand how "you" are the triangle! >Each circle is the context that you ground yourself in. You can always deepen your understanding on every single idea, on every single word. You can deepen your understandings of every single thought. Is it possible for the eyeball to look at itself seeing? >Is it possible for consciousness to look at how it creates itself? >Is it possible for consciousness to be conscious of consciousness? 8h Still mega focused in thought. Deconstructing realities contexts. I need to patiently shake each assumption of reality loose. >Like how the brain doesn't exist. This here really helped me and I understand it a lot more now since I read it during my trip. And Even now I understand it more. >Also I think I now understand this more >Reality appears as it is, as itself. It it not grounded in anything. Whatever contexts that you project onto it is also reality because that is reality IS'ing as the context being projected through your rose coloured glasses of perception. Now I want to watch Leo's video, What is perception? [Checkpoint 1] >Reality IS ITSELF AT EVERY LEVEL. If you zoom in, it spawns as reality at that level, if you zoom out, it spawns at that level. But they're not grounded in eachother, they're not made up as eachother, but when you investigate, you can create a STORY that is the case. BECAUSE reality can be infinitely zoomed in, but it doesn't mean that lets say that your hand is made of atoms. Your hand is made out of itself, as itself, as it appears right now. >At least that seems to be the case... Your confidence is grounded in context. >SERIOUSLY! If you are not confident in a situation, change the context, and if you are able to open your mind enough to actually belive the stories you tell yourself, then that confidence will come effortlessly. [Checkpoint 2] >Which brings me to another point that I am starting to realize about the dangers of this work, and that is the dangers of deconstructing reality this much and opening your mind this much. If you are able to deconstruct reality to the point of throwing away all context to reach the absolute, then you literally lose your mind because your mind is a tightly knit web grounded in context, and when you start pulling the web apart, you lose you mind because your mind is a construct that is suspended in nothing. But also, more importantly, when you realize that reality is nothing but contexts and stories, you start to learn that you can easily write your own contexts and stories, and you can just as easily believe it as truth. Which is why it makes sense as to why enlightened people can see themselves as a prophet, simply because they lack ANY epistemological rigor in their understanding of reality. SO when your mind is that open, you can believe anything to your advantage, while at the same time forgetting that you did so. And because by DEFAULT you are epistemologically lazy, you default to believe the content that you have been fed by your culture, your experiences, your people around you, and most importantly, yourself. And in fact, that is exactly what you are doing RIGHT NOW sober, in your unenlightened, mind-not-lost state! But you are grounded in the collectively held social matrix that is your reality bubble. When you deconstruct your reality this much I see how it is so easy to write your own story. And how reality magically molds to your contexts. In which I realize that reality will bend to whatever context that you project upon it. Which is how you LITTERALLY CREATE reality. >Whereas Reality with a capital R is none of that, (Reality with a capital R )is an infinite shapeshifting infinite void of nothingness, and then your ego comes along and projects its contexts onto it, creating a reality (with a lowercase 'r' ) of it's own, as a TOTAL illusion, separate from the source, the absolute. The illusion being grounded in nothing but a massive web of contexts, suspended in the air. >I see now how everything in reality is simply a web of contexts, and relationships between these contexts, suspended in the air. A Network! >This idea explains the structure of Value, how value is a collectively held hallucination, think of how any inflation happens, that's only a result of the collectively held perception. Such as the dutch tulips. Value is nothing but a held perception. The "self", such as an artichoke, and you looking your self is like looking for a fruit in the center of an artichoke, peeling back every layer until you find nothing. Knowledge, how NOTHING IS KNOWN, and how knowledge is grounded in nothing, yet it exists, as a network, suspended in the air, in itself. Learning, where you realize that all learning is, is weaving an increasingly complex and interconnected web of knowledge, and how every idea leans against another. Culture, how it's a collectively reinforced massive hallucination. Paradigm, Construction (of reality), Perception. Language, such as how every word leans onto itself. Leo's YouTube channel. Why it is so valuable, because every concept leans on itself, creating a NETWORK EFFECT. This explains why every couple of months of studying Leo, my reality literally SHIFTS, simply because I have created a synergistic, network effect, connecting all these fundamental topics together, weaving them together into a strong net. This net of understanding start to take up a reality of its own. Everything, how all aspects of reality is just an infinite collection of interconnected networks. And how I am learning now that your life becomes better and better the more you understand this network because you are able to become conscious and appreciate the infinite beauty of GOD, Reality, Consciousness. I can intuit now how oneness can be so beautiful and powerful... >"reality=Network" - - (Notice how I use "reality" with a lowercase 'R') I could see myself surpassing Jordan Peterson easily. But Leo on the other hand... HAHAHAHA >How far I have come haha. I want to be able to teach as good, if not better than Leo does. You CAN'T have anything planned for your trips like this. Plans WILL fuck up your focus massively. The ENTIRE day has to be sanctioned off. Even if you were okay enough to go swimming later for example, your mind is still extremely sensitive and could be harmed with a negative experience and because of the sensitivity of your mind. It can sour the preciously aligned insights that the New Foundation was created upon. The only way I'll understand the massive amount of effort it takes to become a teacher as good as Leo is to go through the effort myself. The only way I'll understand how to make such a good teaching is by going through that process itself. That's WHERE I'm trying to understand what the process itself is! >I mean there's gotta be SOME practice routines involved in this process... >Zone of Genius work... >Anyways... To me it seems to be Learning a bunch of shit Interweaving and contemplating deeply about my understanding. Becoming conscious about a bunch of shit, such that I OWN the wisdom / teaching. Doing practice routines of how to teach it. Like just learning presentation and speaking skills in general. Teaching it. True spirituality is the most true "science". To invigorate spirit into your reality. True spirituality is truth seeking. Yo what the hell, I love truth seeking now! Realizing no self is like unwiring the Ultimate indoctrination. YOOO I fucking love religion class now. Leo's videos is religion class. I have to say that I'm becoming conscious of how your mind creates stories about everything. And how you just have to write your story to become the hero of your own story >I just noticed that I wrote down much more but it didn't save?? Fuck! > I had a lot of deep insights about manifestation itself, the structure of manifestation, and how it connects with this idea of a network. A self constructed, tightly weaved net, which is basically what all manifestation boils down to. Creating a net between your current net and the nodes you want your net to be a part of. Like the "Successful Youtube Channel" node, the "Great teacher" node. >At the end of the night at about 5AM, I start to think about pickup and how I would need to feel to be picked up, trying to get into the perspective of the hypothetical women in my mind. >My conclusion was that I needed to feel that I was everything. >I started to think about the people in my life, especially my mother, in how they make me feel like I'm everything. I cry at the love I feel. >I think of my Mom, and I text her how she is EVERYTHING I could ask for in being my mother. And how I love her very much. And that she makes ME feel like I'm everything! >I think of my best friends, and I tell them that they are everything I could ask for in a friend. > I think of my siblings, and I text them that they are everything I could ask for, and I love them very much. >I think of my dad, and how I want to say to him, that he is EVERYTHING that I need in a father, even though that is not the case at all, but I want to tell him that such that he feels love. So instead I text him that he is everything I could ask for in being my father, which is technically the case, rather than saying that he is everything >I think of Leo, and I think: LEO... YOU are EVERYTHING I could ask for in a teacher. I love you very much. >I realized that there is a deep connection with Intelligence and Beauty. Simple example, if your hair looks stupid, do it up, put more intelligence into it, then it all of a sudden becomes beautiful. >The difference between beautiful art and not beautiful art is the intelligence put into it. If you read all this, you are a real one. Trip Report Summary I'm learning about how your reality is an interconnected web of stories, ideas and contexts. I can see now that after building more foundation, I'll be soon ready for 5meo, as I see where it practically fits in gaining understanding. What's next? Creating a MASSIVE UNDERSTANDING of all these concepts The Many facets of awakening What is Love. Pt 1&2, Self Love What is Perception. What if reality was nothing but perspective? (The damn near opposite of Leo's video "What is Perception") Self Deception. What is Fear? Pt1&2 How To Discover What's True - A Deep Inquiry What is Truth? What does an awakening feel like Leo's videos on enlightement. Thanks Leo! Read books on what consciousness is. Study and create a network around the things I need to learn to actualize my life purpose. Contemplate What is Context? What is Relationship? That is my next thing to trip to? What is Beauty? What is Intelligence? What is Emptiness? What are the relationships between all of these? What is Love? What is Ego? What is Confidence? What is Value? What Makes a great Teacher? What is Learning? What is Teaching? What is Communication? Questions & Requested Feedback Can I get input on what I said in: (Ctrl+f) [Checkpoint 1] Where I talk about reality spawning as itself, not as an amalgamation of stories like atoms. I mention this a few times in the report. [Checkpoint 2] Where I talk about the dangers of unwiring reality this much. I mention this a few times in the report.

@BipolarGrowth In it (at min 05:32) he also mentions that 360° degree lens thing, remember? That was mentioned in some post a while ago... The POV (that last remaining speck) implodes into nothingness. And then it's like you are 360° everywhere. He also talks about what happens to "the bubble". That's really tricky to talk about. The bubble vanishes once awareness is recognized to be even less limited and then it's as if that 360° lens really becomes infinite, like really. There isn't even any 360° lens left. No boundaries, in all directions. Everything flows through itself.

Hello It was more of an answer-than a question. We shouldn´t work on division, but on union.... I think there are always two ways we can choose to act from - if we are conscious about them. One is from love and the other one is from fear. If you act from fear - you project onto others, objectify others, deny your own history. If you go this way most people will use spirituality as an escape to face themselves. Killing the Ego and staying in the Void-Mode / Nothingness Mode. You can go through life, feel like you are the smartest guy everywhere and you basically have no real empathy, as you killed your capacity for empathy with your "Ego". If you act out of true love it´s a completely different story. You stop projecting, take responsibility and do your own shit. You basically consciously decide to take in more into your own identity. You decide to consciously choose to build an "Ego". First you fully identify with yourself, you accept your history (when in my life was I a culprit and victim? and you choose to embrace those perspectives you lived). By embracing those perspectives you grow your compassion. By feeling inside and embracing the times in life you were on the victim end in a relationship you grow your empathy, as you truly feel. By embracing the times your were the culprit and victimized others you learn to play the game of life in a non-culprit way. What we have now is a divided society. Both sides are simultaneously the culprits and the victims... @Carl-Richard I felt a strong sense of victim-mentality in your posts. This seems like a projection to me. you don´t even know me, but you use your mind and rationalization to explain why I think the way I think, without truly trying to understand where I come from. This kind of argument feels kinda hateful to me. You basically say: "I am not open to discuss anymore, because I already decided I know all your arguments because you are just an "anti-vaxxer". Which you can´t because no soul can be described with just the label "anti-vaxxer". But this is just my perspective - could be completely wrong Love you all, we are all on spaceship-earth together and I don´t think this trip will work out if we continue with this rivalrous dynamics - trying to tell other people how they should live their lives.

I find it perfectly logical and succinct. The nature of nothingness (nothing exists including boundaries or limitation) means that it must be infinite. To be infinite it must include all possibilities. All somethings are elements of these possibilities in infinity. Surely that is the case? It can be condensed in a few sentences like that?

I’m not sure if you are looking for an answer, or are just leaving an open end statement to the GODs, LOL.. IMHO, the answer to your question has many layers within consciousness. The higher more meta-answers are found within. The lower 3D Ego answers can be found with basic 101 personal Shadow work; which includes, and is not limited to: Observing and seriously discriminating one’s thoughts, ideas, images, beliefs, feelings/emotions! Basically, everyone needs to do their work, model and project that which they desire! It involves observing one’s attachments, expectations and how we blindly create and co-create our reality with “All-That-Is” (God), which, IMO, is one of the most important aspects and awakenings required before one can truly understand the concepts of Nothingness = Everythingness, which everyone here tosses around like they know what they are talking about, LOL. Anyone can take DMT trips (which is another viable tool in the tool box), but doing the “Work” is another level that sadly few want to pursue. Having said that, most people don’t want to spend their entire life doing the Work, so they seek Leaders and Gurus to do the work for them! Sadly, most leaders and Gurus are in a space of “spiritual Bypassing”, and usually don’t walk there talk! When you get to a certain level of consciousness, you begin to understand how the teacher and the answers are within. You begin to understand that you are the teacher and the answer! It took me almost twenty years to fully grasp and begin to embody that awareness. I’m a slow learner Lol…. Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas, beliefs and truths that work for ME. Take what resonates, and store the rest in the closet until it begins to sing to you!

@RMQualtrough I brought that up because some other user brought up that it's perspectival with why is there something rather than nothing. We got a subject, who's experiencing, an object. Subject-experience-object. 3 point perspective, therefore nothingness(point zero), somethings (objects point 1), and a conscious subject(I/you point 2), experiencing(point 3) other somethings(loop of points). So enlightenment has to contain in total 4 points of view that feedback loop.

Well there is a chain reaction, the original something was just a single dense point of energy (the big bang), everything after this is self propagating (like you describe, its just segments of something actualizing the potential of another something). Take everything in the Universe in this moment, and imagine deleting parts of it one by one, imagine doing this until you delete all of what exist in the universe in this moment. Not just materiality, but all the thoughts, feelings and ideas that exist too, think about the sheer complexity of all these in this one moment, delete them all. Now imagine doing this for all previous states in the universe all the way back to the moment after the big bang - a single dense point of energy before forming a soup of particles. Can you see how as you remove or delete things from the universe, you increase the potentiality of the universe, such that the moment after the big bang there was the most potential for how the universe might possibly manifest? Can you see how the proliferation of each moment was a reduction of overall possibility? The more things manifest in a certain way, the less their potential to manifest in another? Now delete the very first moment of the Universe, the single point of immense energy - nothing would be left, but your degree of potentiality has reached Infinity, in this state of Nothing, there is now nothing constraining or limiting it, not a single point of any energy at all; there is an Infinite amount of possibilities. This is Nothingness, this is Infinity^Infinity

There is no consciousness. There’s no one conscious. There’s not two, it’s One. What the experiencer is equates to nothingness. What they experience equates to nothingness. The ground of being is nothingness. Out of this arises what appears as somethingness, but it’s also nothingness appearing as somethingness. The entirety of the Universe is happening in a completely unified field. Reality is not being projected individually, It exists infinitely and is fully aware of itself. How does the idea of infinite nothingness know itself to be infinite nothingness? By appearing to end at infinite everythingness. There are no two consciousnesses, only infinite apparently-finite brains inside of infinite consciousness perceiving itself as itself. The unified field of consciousness exists without your human form, it does NOT rely on the human brain to exist...the human brain is not creating this, it’s always a singularity appearing in finite reflections. Two consciousness’ appear to exist, but it’s only One.

An old writing I had on this. It’d be a bit different now after a lot more insight but a lot of the fundamentals are similar. Solving the mind-body problem by understanding dreams When you go to sleep at night, you often find yourself in dreams. In these dreams, most people will still have a human body. In waking reality, there is an unsubstantiated claim or story given by people that consciousness is somehow generated by the brain. The experts aren’t so sure, or at least they don’t have any solid evidence. Look up the “hard problem of consciousness” to understand how this is unsubstantiated. In the dream, you typically do not think along the same lines. If you were to lucid dream, you would certainly not think you were the dream body or somehow generated by the brain in your dream head. I say you, but I need to clarify exactly who you are. You are consciousness. Consciousness is the only constant you can find in all realities. In the dream, you are literally everything perceived in the dream. It’s all generated by your consciousness. We understand fully that everything created in our dreams comes entirely from us and is an extension of us. Surprisingly enough, there’s no solid argument against this being exactly the same case in waking reality. Your brain, body, and mind are all generated by consciousness in the same fashion consciousness generates the entire reality in dreams. Beyond your mind, body, and brain, you as consciousness generate this entire reality. This entire reality IS consciousness and nothing else. It’s the same way in a dream; nothing is separate from you as consciousness. You as consciousness are the sole source for everything in the dream. No one thinks everyone in their dreams are conscious, separate entities once they’ve come back to the waking state. It’s the same in this reality. There’s absolutely no way you can actually be shown something outside of your consciousness. There will never ever be proof that other beings are conscious separately or outside of your consciousness. Even if you merged consciousness with another being in the waking state as a way to somehow prove the existence of another consciousness, guess what it would be? It would be fully engulfed in exactly one thing: you as consciousness or otherwise put your consciousness. You are the source of everything that exists in your consciousness, and your consciousness is the entirety of your universe and always will be. Nothing can ever exist outside of your consciousness. Existence relies completely on perception and consciousness to even be relevant. What is the difference between a fairytale land in a book, the black void people typically conceive of as nothingness or nonexistence, and a reality you imagine exists like heaven? They’re all just imagination. The only thing that’s real is what you can experience in this very moment. As soon as something exits consciousness, it exits existence. There’s no proof for something existing outside of consciousness, and there never will be because the most fundamental building block in any proof is, you guessed it, consciousness. Before using reason or logic or any other conceptual tool to prove something you use precisely one thing first: consciousness. Even if you and I are both conscious entities, we live in completely different “universes of consciousness.” Precisely, that is to say that one consciousness can never be shown another consciousness to exist without perceiving the other consciousness through the lens of the original consciousness. As soon as one consciousness comes into the other, the secondary consciousness immediately becomes an aspect of the primary consciousness. So if you were to completely merge your consciousness with mine, your consciousness would be held within my consciousness, and it would be the same for you if the process were done from your perspective. This is a clear mechanic of consciousness. We can never know if the person sitting across the lunch table from us is conscious. We can only assume one way or the other. Anything imagined to be separate from the perspective of the original consciousness will always just be one more aspect of the original consciousness. In this way, we are entirely alone as consciousness. We are not alone as human beings. There are plenty of humans walking around. You can clearly perceive that, but by the very nature of perception, consciousness cannot perceive another consciousness without it immediately becoming another aspect of itself. Consciousness cannot perceive another consciousness as some sort of separate thing. Once the “other” consciousness is viewed, it only exists as long as it is in contact with the primary consciousness - the point of perception, and it is only truly the primary consciousness the entire time. In this way, you can never truly share space with another consciousness. You cannot perceive another consciousness. Anything you perceive is just you. You are consciousness. Everything is you. Everything is consciousness. It will be this way for eternity. You as consciousness will likely visit innumerable dreamt up worlds that you’ve created. You’ll perceive yourself as some kind of avatar or character as far as we can tell. You’ll at first see all the rest of the characters in your dreamt up creation as separate from you, but in truth those dream characters are just as much you as your primary character is. They’re just characters held within consciousness. One, your primary character who you at first feel to live inside, simply exists in your consciousness more of the time than the others. Ultimately neither the other characters or your perceived primary character is you because you are the consciousness that permeates all aspects of the dream world including its laws of physics, characters, objects, and everything else. You aren’t the characters any more than you are the objects or the laws of motion that govern that reality. You are all aspects of that reality. You are all aspects of all realities. A reality can only exist within you. Something is only real to you if it is held within your consciousness. No realities exist outside of the one you are experiencing right now. This waking state planet Earth does not exist when you are in a dream. Your wife could tell you that the world still existed while you were asleep, but you have to see how this is exactly the same as if your dream wife told you the dream reality was there while you were asleep. It means nothing because you as consciousness were not there. That seems to be the pattern in what we can verify between both the waking state and dreams.

It's easily knowable that nothingness HAS to be infinite. The exact mechanism is very easy to understand. A boundary is something. If there's not something, there's no boundary, making nothing infinite, which must be infinite something (else it would be finite/limited if it did NOT appear as something); and that something creates boundary, if there wasn't something, there's no boundary, making nothing infinite, which- Etc etc to infinity. You see the pattern? Nothingness cannot exist without somethingness because the lack of something would necessitate something into being. There's just infinity. Outside, inside, nothing, something, up, down, left, right; all just infinity. That's all there is. Infinity. But that is precisely why... If there's no limit, no law, no boundary, there's infinity: If there's infinity, there must be something otherwise it wouldn't be infinite.