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About Tristan12

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  1. Ultimately self-love at a basic human level (not at a super-transcendent spiritual level) comes down to your relationship with your emotions. Your emotions are the core parts of yourself, so if you avoid and dismiss how you feel, you will not have a good relationship with yourself. Think of yourself as the parent and your emotions being a child, and then how you feel about and towards yourself is how your emotions feel about you based on the state they are in (if they are stuck in trauma) and also how you treat them (if you abandon them or be fully with them). Generally the main reason you would have a bad relationship with your emotions to begin with is because they were hurt and separated from you in childhood, and now they are stuck in that pain, and so your emotions are in a shamed and hurt state already (which you feel because they're your emotions) and then when you avoid or run away from your emotions it just makes it worse (you as the parent ignoring the hurt child) and that leads to spirals of shame, self-hate, etc. This is something that affirmations or rationalizing to yourself about won't fix, at least at the root, because this is strictly an emotional matter and about your relationship with your emotions. If you want to genuinely feel true love towards yourself and not have some fake bullshit cover up like what you mentioned in the beginning, this is what you need to focus on. Everything you feel is valid and there for a good reason. If you don't understand why you feel a certain way, it doesn't mean the emotion is invalid, it means you don't understand where it is coming from and you're not seeing the root of it. Therefor when you go against your negative emotions and treat them like an enemy, you are hurting yourself. What I would recommend you to do is start learning about emotions, childhood trauma, etc. so you can get an understanding of where your emotions are coming from and why you feel the way you do. Then you will start to develop empathy and understanding towards yourself, you will be more accepting of your difficult emotions and not push them away so much, and then that hurt child inside of you will feel a bit more loved and you will improve your relationship with yourself. Ultimately to heal completely and genuinely love yourself you will need to heal and process whatever blocked emotions you are holding within you. Without that, parts of you will always be hurt, you will always be stuck in a state of shame to some degree and you won't be able to have a very good relationship with yourself. Also, don't pressure or expect yourself to love in this state. It's not realistic for you right now. You are better off being more accepting and understanding of these hurt emotions you are feeling, not trying to force them to change or be loving and positive. Just doing that alone will improve your ability to love, counter-intuitively. Also, you can check out my youtube channel if you want a place to learn about this stuff. Good luck
  2. Yes, generally people will to hurt others as a twisted way of getting their own needs met, which happens when they have been emotionally wounded, left with unmet needs and denied the love they need. Basically their needs weren't met the first time around so subconsciously they resort to more twisted and distorted ways of trying to make it happen. A person who has had their needs met in a healthy way and who has been given the love they needed throughout their life wouldn't be the type to actively try to hurt people. "Those who are hardest to love need it the most" - Socrates
  3. "You're such a dork." or "They took you to school in the short bus, didn't they?" or just roll your eyes up at her. When a girl a being stupid, sometimes the best thing is just to say nothing and give her "the look". When all her friends come over: "Hey I didn't know the circus was in town!" This one kills me We should start a thread of witty lines and jokes so that people can pick and choose ones that they like to build up a collection of witty lines like you talked about in your how to get laid pt 3 video
  4. No, you don't have to let "the system" tell you how to help people. I 100%, wholeheartedly agree with this. If you want to help people as much as possible then use the alternative healing techniques that you find to be the most effective. Don't just be another product of the system. The techniques of standard therapy today barely help people compared to what's possible
  5. I struggle with this too. Just like you said, I waste hours every day pacing back and fourth just thinking about things. My mind is obsessed with it and its so hard to get myself to stop. I have a lot of trauma and blocked emotions that I am trying to work through and heal and its extremely obvious to me that this is what is creating this obsessive day dreaming. Its common for the mind to become obsessed with thinking as a way of avoiding the difficult emotions that are trapped within you, because they make your normal present experience so uncomfortable Meditation has not solved this for me either, nor do I expect it to, at least any time soon. I've been meditating an hour a day for 2 years now and my thoughts still race like crazy. I know what I need is to heal my trauma and release my blocked emotions because that is the only thing that will solve this problem at the root
  6. If life was never painful then you would be satisfied sitting on the couch eating cheetos for the rest of your life. Pain motivates you to grow and make changes in your life, with the ultimate end to that being realizing heaven and the infinite love and beauty of what you are. Pain is done out of love and is done for the highest good.
  7. This reminds me of when Leo talked about hedonic adaptation and how the only thing that will ultimately fulfill you and end the chasing is merging with the infinite and realizing yourself as God
  8. @Leo Gura I've been thinking more about solipsism and everything in reality being your own imagination. I'm wondering, how do you live life knowing that no conscious beings other than yourself exist, and that you could hurt anyone and the pain wouldn't be real? Why care about the suffering of others if its not real? Why not exploit everything in the world for your own selfish needs if there is nobody else there to be hurt? I understand that objectively speaking this is reality, but I also understand that you would not live a good life being so selfish, even if it doesn't matter. That means that if you were loving and selfless, you would be doing that towards something that's not real, like if I gave someone all my money, there would be no real person to experience that joy of receiving, but my consciousness would experience that loss of money. I suppose on a human level if you lived your life so selfishly and were always exploiting others, that wouldn't be sustainable because the people you have dreamt up would fight back and there would be consequences, and so you would want to live life considering the well being of others just for that. But at a higher level, is the only reason that you would care about the well being of the world and the people that you have dreamt up be that you have lost your ego and become so selfless, that you have no motivation to exploit or harm anyone, and so you just completely love everything whether it is all just a dream or not? You love not because it would benefit a person, because there is no person to benefit, you love just for its own sake? Am I missing anything? Thanks
  9. Is this like the faceless men from Game of Thrones? Where they say "a man has done this" rather than "I have done this", because they seek to become nobody
  10. I've noticed my general level of awareness has gone up quite a bit. I find that a lot of the time I get into a meditative state during random day to day things whenever I get really focused, like if I am trying to pay close attention during a conversation, or if i'm working on something really intently. I also find that my memory has improved quite a bit and I learn things faster, probably just because of increased focus and awareness. I also find awakenings and mystical experiences happen a lot more frequently than they used to. I think the results I have gotten so far are decent but I expect them to pick up a lot more later. I went into meditation knowing that the first few years are generally slow and results pick up a lot more later on, and that sort of mentally prepared me to not expect too many results right away and to just focus on building the habit. Now I am entering my third year and I can feel my meditation getting deeper, so I think results should start to pick up more over the next few years. I remember before I started meditating, I heard Leo say that meditation should be the one habit you stick to in your life more than anything, and you should try to never miss a day no matter what, because of how important meditation is and also because meditation compounds on itself so its a bigger deal to miss a day of meditation than it is to miss a workout or something like that. I made a goal for myself to do that and to try my best to never miss a day, and so far I have done it. I started December 28 2019 and I haven't missed a day since. Even during the times I have gone on vacations to stay with friends or something, I still did it. I find that having a habit like that where I never miss a day, no matter what, has helped a lot for my discipline in other areas of life. I've tried to start meditating a few times before, but I would always end up stopping, but this time I was able to stick to it because of the level of commitment and dedication I had to it. I decided that this habit and the development that would come from it was too important for me to miss out on and I wanted to make it happen no matter what, so I committed myself to it 100% and that's what made it stick. That was also an important lesson for me, because I learned that that's how I need to be for developing anything else to my life. I need to be 100% committed to developing the habit no matter what, anything less than that and it probably won't work. By the way, I know Ethan too, we've talked a lot and he's helped me along my journey of meditation so far. That's cool that you follow his channel, his stuff is really great
  11. @Breakingthewall I feel like that would traumatize him lol, it would be way too intense
  12. Hey, good luck with the meditation habit, keep it up! I started meditating 2 years ago. I started with 20 minutes a day, then a month later went to 30 minutes, then 45 minutes, then an hour and i've been doing that every day since. After a few months doing an hour a day, it was easier than when I started with 20 minutes a day, so keep it up. The beginning is the hardest.
  13. @Blackhawk In your situation I would only recommend taking psychedelics if its for healing trauma/emotional wounds, in which case something like a mushroom/MDMA combo would be better than just LSD, but even then, because of how psychedelics have been for you in the past, I would recommend trying to resolve your issues sober first and only taking psychedelics if you think absolutely necessary. Based on what you wrote its obvious that they are very risky for you so it wouldn't be smart for you to take them right now