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About PepperBlossoms

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  1. Teachers teach what they know - which is based on how they were taught - to take the material given, memorize it, and regurgitate it. To them, the book/teacher/answer key is truth. The school system does not value questioning ideas, using multiple perspectives, and developing how to think for oneself, creativity, self awareness, emotions, etc. So many jobs are board game jobs - based on how well you can comply with the standards of "this is how it is done" now "get it done" - play the board game where the rules and pieces are already set and created. It can take a long time just to learn how to play the board game - it can also be lots of pressure to get certain outcomes from the game. The more obedience you have, the more your survival is guaranteed. If you are questioning the reality society has created, your survival is at risk. It can be harder to perform at school, at work, in relationships, etc.
  2. Sleep has been bad on some days, okay on others. Sure I could say that all the rules are made up and we don't have to go by them - but yet gravity isn't gonna go away any time soon. Sure I could say that I am part of everyone and whatever I do benefits the other me's and all these things we have are from other me's. I appreciate all the technology and plants and stuff that other me's have created but yet it feels pretty constraining. Looking at blood cells and how they are constrained in only doing certain things. Water droplets constrained in that they rumble in the water and go up in the sky and then fall back down. Words constrained in that stuck on a piece of paper. I didn't ask to be here - I am just here. Even if this bodily self/perspective goes away, the other self could still be here. Even if I leave - the other me's are similarly to varying degrees constrained as well. Spiders constrained, fish constrained, vapor constrained. Sure I could try to make things better for the other me's but not sure what that would be. It seems like a waste of time to improve stuff on Earth when the planet won't last forever anyway nor will the stuff on it. We are seemingly going to die regardless (of our bodily perspective) so its so weird. How to make it so that I help all the me's.. not sure. I think my job has had a bunch of toxicity and that made things worse but will still be constrained regardless of toxicity at other jobs. Would be nice if we lifted more constraints - easier to switch careers/countries. food/shelter taken care of by the collective. I disagree in making people "illegal" from other countries. we have no more right than them to be here. but then there is the potential issue of too many people and overcrowding and not enough adequate infrastructure.
  3. some subjects that are easy to talk about and others hard some people easy to talk with and some hard some tasks easy and some hard we see what we struggle with and then wonder what to do about it - me included
  4. Different ways to look at it. She is pretty forward/open with what is on her mind. The openness can be painful to hear but it can also be freeing. It could also be like microaggressions. Can try yourself to be open with her that the things that she says hurts you and you have a hard time with what she says and even if it is easy for her, it is hard for you and it really takes a toll on you and hurts you. Not saying anything about the stuff that is bothering you and watch, more stuff will probably happen. So the pile of hurt may get higher and higher. You appear to value the relationship but at the same time, for it to continue, you have to be okay with her telling you things or she has to change what she tells you. Would probably want to address the relationship before the trip. It sounds like she's not being considerate but she also may not be aware that you are feeling hurt.
  5. Work is so claustrophobic. Have to do all of these tasks. Trapped in that you have to do them and they have to be done a certain way and by a certain time. Trapped in that you can't just say - I don't want to do these tasks - well you can - by quitting - yes we can speak out and say we don't want to do them and to have someone else do them
  6. I feel trapped. Trapped in this body. Trapped in the ideas. Trapped at work. Can only do xyz and have to do it like xyz. Trapped in schedule. Trapped in having to work 8-5. Trapped in having to look at computer screen. Trapped in having to speak language. Trapped in having to behave a certain way, say certain things, think certain things, move in specific ways. There are only so many options and choices and freedom. We are slaves to where we see the boundary is. Trapped in emotion. Trapped in sadness. Trapped in lack of motivation. Trapped in lack of ideas. Trapped in rules. Trapped in shoulds. Trapped. It is claustrophobic. Trapped in how people move around. Trapped in bodily pain. Trapped in money system. Trapped in how/where you can go. Stuck on the ground. Walk on the sidewalk. Drive between the lines. Sleep during night. Trapped in job system. Cannot take positions you are not qualified for. Cannot piss people off. Trapped in doing "what you are supposed to do". Everyone is copying off of everyone for how to act/be and it is claustrophobic. If I am everyone, I am contributing to the collective claustrophobia if I go along. I die as an individual body if I step outside. It is painful.
  7. Nice! Would be awesome in so many ways to have another day off. Thanks for sharing.
  8. Because your parents ridiculed you and your siblings over and over again; your teachers ridiculed you and your classmates over and over again; you grew up with a religion that ridiculed you over and over again You are around it so much it is normal so you pick up on it and do it too Other kids didn't have that environment so they don't do it Environment too strict. Person gets insecurity for stresses/pressure/being unable to "stay in line" constantly. Constrained. Claustrophobic. Person finds security in finding others that seem to be worse off than them.
  9. and yet we sometimes take it so darn serious and get caught in emotion/pain hells the constant forgetting that it is just a game/dream pain hurts.
  10. Interesting post. I find that I tell myself I am too tired to work and then I stop trying or that I am not good enough to win the tennis match and so I stop trying or that I am too shy to be around the group of people and so I run away from them. Yeah good point. I would say noticing the upper limit problem is a first step and then seeing different ways to think about it and what you can do about it... and then make it so that it is not a limit anymore or that the limit is higher up and that you don't quit as easily - like making the limit further than where it currently is. Tips - keep trying or returning to the issue and ask why you are saying it is a limit; look at what you want to accomplish.
  11. I would say there is going to be a cornucopia of responses to psychedelics. Some people may want to stop, some may want to keep going. It may stop helping some, it may hurt some, it may continue to tremendously help others. Could always stop for now and change your mind later. Different psychedelics have different effects so if in the position to try ones you haven't, could enjoy the change in experience. Integrating the trips and writing about them has helped me. Maybe you have explored the area so much that it seems like there is nothing to gain - could be - could also be that there are more things to explore but have to work even harder to find those. I feel like psychedelics hurt my work performance after I take them but then later on they help it (but I have to go for a long enough time of not taking it again to have that recovery and integration stage. There are more things I am noticing and bringing attention to and considering and the psychedelics help with that. (By hurt work performance - I mean that it may inspire me to do something that will benefit the long run but hurt the short run to where the work output slows - or maybe it hurts my interactions with people in the short run but then I notice more things to consider and it helps in the long run). Regarding applying the insights - maybe that is something you should think about - you have had all these insights - focus on how they can be applied, even if they seem to be really advanced. For me, when I look at birds/ants/spiders - I imagine little humans or little me(s) and so I am processing about what to do/how to relate to them. Or in relation to other people for instance, I went through the exercise of saying every person was me and then trying to think up what the perspective of that person as me was.
  12. @Chris_Esoteric You sound just like me! Stuff I am wondering, as I woke up at 3:30 am maybe and haven't fallen back asleep is to find ways to make the environment not wake me up as well as get enough exercise and not eat certain foods. My anxiety is high too though and it's been a rough month. I am finding that talking with people one on one has been helpful. I have bought sleeping pills and tried that but it really doesn't fix the insomnia and so I guess I really don't suggest those. I wish the anxiety wasn't there as it is like - okay I too want to just accept everything - not sure if anxiety is from toxins in body, dehydration, uncomfortable A/C setting, not performing to par at work, social anxiety, etc. Yeah I feel like my mind has gotten more chaotic the older I have gotten as well but I would also say maybe we are more self aware of all the things going around and so there are more things to consider whereas previously we had less things we were aware of and so less things to process. There is more stuff to organize and play around with. I started seeing a therapist and started going to the gym again and those two have helped quite a bit. It is fun to open up new ways of thinking about/experiencing/exploring infinity - it could be that we like it so much that we are anxious because there are so many things that can go wrong in life that will prevent us from getting deeper in this experience or being able to continue to explore it. - it is like the stakes are higher now that we have something that we value that seems so intriguing. (There are like 2093840384028 reasons/solutions for being anxious so just one baby step at a time).
  13. They want to be happy just like you. They are doing what makes them happy and you are doing what makes you happy. It would be nice for you to find some friend(s) who have similar interests, values, and goals and are interested at poking at reality some more in more creative, abstract, unusual ways. I am sorry that you have had trouble finding others. I think that learning about stuff and working on yourself can really be super helpful and so I'd say keep it up. let yourself have some fun and be happy too every once in a while. yeah I understand that that type of conversation can be unmotivating and feel like a waste of time as it isn't really helping anyone grow - - I can see that work can be a hard place to talk about this stuff with as people may want to act a certain way to maintain their character/professionalism - unless you work at a place where the others are into this stuff
  14. I find that my attention goes to what is stimulating. Things on the internet, smoking weed, and swimming can be a lot more stimulating than studying. Depending on how the college class is taught, it could be that it is super unstimulating - especially the lecture ones where you have to read the book and memorize parts of it for a test. School can be unstimulating, work can be unstimulating, sometimes social interactions can be too. It is sad how society pushes us to focus on one thing for a career for our entire lives - we can do it only for so long and then some of us get burnt out and need breaks - like me I feel disconnected from like 99% of people so you are not alone. I guess when you say you don't connect, ask - what about it is not connecting? Writing stuff down can help with coping and processing so if writing it in the form of a book is something you want to try - I say go for it. Can think more about the degree/classes you are doing and ask about how that will help you with where you are trying to go (but who really knows?) life is not perfect and we will just die anyway so it is okay to have some imperfect stuff good luck mate
  15. I could see some wealthy person abuse the technology and make 10,000 clones of themselves - or even 1,000,000 clones of themselves, build a slave military, and take over the world. We could have Eugenics of 1 person making copies of themselves because they think that their DNA is the best and needs to be duplicated over and over again. It would kinda mess up biological diversity - so actually, cloning could be an extremely NET NEGATIVE. There is value in having biological diversity. It may make the clones a "superior race" for whatever reason. Or maybe they would be inferior since there is no uniqueness and they are all the same.