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Actualized.org forums is a fine community, and has been instrumental in my learning, but it's time to say goodbye. There'll come a point where you realize all form of 'seeking' is just more noise. And that left to its own devices, life will reveal the bliss you've been chasing for all this time as its inherent quality. So goodbye, and I wish you all well.

Welcome to spirituality! You're on your journey to heavenly bliss. So earthly bliss no longer seems important. I'm going through the same. I want liberation and freedom from the rules of planet earth. Spirituality is a golden dream. The rays of enlightenment touch the soul and transform the mind into an Astral body that travels through the spiritual maze of beauty and captivity. All splendor. All I need is my own company and maybe a cat. But I feel thrilled to experience the vastness of the universe, the beauty of the cosmos the infinite love from the universe filling into my body and soul and earthly entities now look so little so small, everything looks disinteresting and sometimes repugnant. It all is a distraction from the highest achievement of the soul. A thorn in the path. But the real bliss is from the universe. A godsend.

"Imagine that all around your body is an invisible field of peace and bliss. Try and surrender to that by giving in. Imagine you are expanding out of your skin to merge with that field. The obstacle will be the thoughts in your head trying to bring you back in your body. Whenever that happens, just kill the thought from the get go (clear your head) and resume. The intensity of your desire will determine your chance of success." Is this the practice you did until enlightment happened? Is this the same as feeling the sense IAM?

Sure it's a modern model used to convey the concept of infinity. In the scriptures they like to say "there is a universe in each atom, and in the atoms of that universe still more universes". It's the same concept. Well it's true, but that said, having a conceptual understanding is not the same thing as realizing it directly. For the latter case, the model is useless. In other words, I would not say that this model represents enlightenment in any meaningful or accurate way. Thank you 1. Becoming aware of consciousness directly and in the moment is the best approach. The two seemingly separate approaches you mentioned are really one and the same, they are just worded differently. When you become aware of consciousness, that results in surrender or integration (again these are the same). Focus on your direct experience, whatever it may be, and realize that whatever sensation you are experiencing is happening inside your space of consciousness AKA "You" or "I". If a car is moving in the distance, the sight of the car and the sound of its engine is happening within the same space the body is inhabiting. That's what's meant by the universe exists within (or is) consciousness itself, and that consciousnesses is you. Again, do not suffice to a conceptual imagining of what I'm saying. Really get in there and know it directly. 2. The aim is to wake up from a dream. It doesn't matter if you do it through sheer force of will and desire (ala Sivaists) or through abandoning worldly attachment (Zen etc.). In my case, I did it through intention. Concepts are useless for getting enlightened. Everything needs to happen in the moment and in your direct experience, rather than through imagination and thought. Lastly, there is no such thing as mistakenly believing yourself to be enlightened so long as you are honest with yourself. If you have doubts, you are not there yet, so be mindful of that and you should be good, desirous or not. 3. Happiness, as you know it is bondage and pain. You cannot be happy without creating the condition for misery since happiness is object-oriented. With enlightenment, the word often used is "bliss". It's inner, causeless joy accompanied by a conviction that you are in the truest sense of the word united and liberated. A person who is liberated, can experience the highest levels of pain and still be alright inside. They can experience the sensations of sadness, and still be free.

For me it is a dissolving/melting feeling of pure bliss. It feels literally like i am dissolving into Infinity. (Because that's what's happening) Its wonderful. I have never tried heroin but i imagine it couldn't even hold a candle.

To put it into context, I am 24 living in one of the metropolitan cities in India. I understand how the term Incel is derogatory to women. Women don't owe me sex. At the same time, my body (or rather I) craves for sexual contact with women, when i get horny. Solo female pornography where women display their selves, is I think one of the most beautiful things a person like me could ask for, where i can choose the women i am attracted to, and pretend to make love to her. And spill myself. In real life however, i look average. I have a girl in my life, but it is long-distance. We haven't defined the relationship yet, but we flirt a lot and act like a couple. Went out with her like 4 times in total over 3 years. Yeah, poor numbers. That being said, the amount of rejections i've had to deal with, in nightclubs or otherwise while asking someone I know on Instagram is say about 60-70 so far in total. If i go to a nightclub tomorrow, i will probably end up with a number or two, but any attractive girl I choose (I know i'm guilty of not picking the ones I don't find attractive, i don't even notice them), will have 10 other dudes texting her, and commenting on her Instagram, and so it takes a lot of investment on my part to even keep a girl's attention, and much more for her to feel the spark if I feel it too. And given how busy everyone has become with their 9 to 7 jobs, at least here, it is like that. There's no time. I know i could just sit back and relax. Focus on other intriguing aspects of life such as books, psychedelics and spirituality in a broader sense, and run the clock out, as it will. I could be genuinely fulfilled as i am when i do strong determination sittings. My parents will force an arrange marriage on me when I turn 30, but i don't like the idea. I could go to Thailand or some Latin country for sex tourism, but i don't like that idea either. At this point in my conscious evolution, i see the meaninglessness in the things that will unfold in the future. Not in a negative connotation, but a sense of indifference. It doesn't matter. and if it does, i will do it. I am a cog in a wheel. I am replaceable even by a woman i love most dearly. I have cried like 5 times in the past when that happened, but now it doesn't break my heart anymore. I try because i don't have the freewill to not try. I just don't see what is there to do or accomplish in this world, than just live it out. Am i just here on earth as a human, to rant, to do my own thing, possibly bliss out, and that's it? I just cannot come to terms with it. With it all.

I studied the etymology of the word and i'm convinced it means "One's own self". I don't believe in God as an all powerful entity that stands outside of consciousness and lords over it. Short answer: No. Thank you. I won't be here for long though 1. 25 2. Surrender. Just consume yourself with the desire to awaken. 3. I don't know fore certain. A few years, but I do believe I've put in the work in a past life. 4. A symptom of depression or deep dissatisfaction with life. Don't waste your time on nonsense. The point behind these Koans are to get your brain to be quiet, not finding and actual answer to them. Well someone told me how they had realized how everything they feel and sense happens within their space of consciousness and that flicked the switch in my brain. It's as if it was an activation phrase. Mind you, I had several spiritual experiences before this and so I had already begun to "get it" so to speak, but hearing that from another person just started a wholly automatic process. What happened was that my sense of being a person collapsed, and the consciousness which I thought was trapped in my head prior revealed itself to actually be infinite. The part about teachers being incapable of pointing it out to you is a bit of a lie. At the very least its exaggerated. That thing that they are pointing out is "you", literally ie. your direct experience. You don't need a sign to show you your direct experience. You are already keenly aware (for example your direct experience right now is one of reading these words). So then you need to get a sense of what you identify as yourself vs. not yourself (which for a typical person is defined by the boundaries of their body). Once you have that sense of what you believe is yourself vs. other, try this practice: Imagine that all around your body is an invisible field of peace and bliss. Try and surrender to that by giving in. Imagine you are expanding out of your skin to merge with that field. The obstacle will be the thoughts in your head trying to bring you back in your body. Whenever that happens, just kill the thought from the get go (clear your head) and resume. The intensity of your desire will determine your chance of success. They are all appearances within consciousness. They lose their edge so to speak. They won't bother you anymore. Yes there is. I am aware of my own past lives. When an ignorant person dies, their memories and tendencies construct a new "life" to be experienced anew. It's different for an enlightened person. For some people who awaken there is a deep desire to share the extreme joy they feel inside with others. The language used (the enlightened master vs ignorant pupil) is completely retarded from the master's point of view, but they usually roll with it due to various reasons - mostly convenience. There is quality control but it's not available to a student outside of how peaceful they feel in presence of a teacher, but even that is not good enough because people with expertise at making you feel at lease exist who have evil intentions. If you can see auras, a guru will have a pure white or blue colored-aura. There is really no such thing as partial awakening. You either get it or you don't. You might have many different realizations, but if it's not self-realization then it's not. After awakening your consciousness continues to expand infinitely. Some people also begin to develop certain abilities and powers. None of that means that new steps have been made in "deepening" one's enlightenment, though the experience becomes nicer as time passes. The actual next-step for an enlightened person happens at the moment of the body's death. The above also relates to you. The liberation you'll feel from the moment of self-realization until your death is already satisfactory enough. You won't go yearn for more, but "moksha" happens when the body dies and consciousness manages to not lose itself. When that occurs you evolve from having to need bodily incarnation to experience or enact changes to something beyond. The crossing point is the losing of one's belief that they exist inside a body, experiencing the outside world as an individual. The experience is always internal (it happens to you, by you, for you, and to you). There is no outside or inside.

Great and amazing - yes sometimes. Other times life is just a pain when I'm resisting what needs to be done. But I'm in a place where I can feel the deeper sense of ease, effortlessness, a gentle bliss beneath my surface layer of turbulence (amazing and horrible). You're right there's wisdom in changing what needs to be changed. Also wisdom in not changing anything, infinite acceptance. Relative truth is just as important as absolute truth.

Even before getting into spirituality I realized the joy of being alone, and this cured me of any feelings of loneliness, while also making deliberate socializing for the sake of socializing seem pointless. I rarely make plans to get together with friends, but I end up having some really good interactions with people at the yoga center I go to, and other times when encountering familiar faces while out and about. Other times I barely talk to anyone all day, and that's perfectly fine. When I feel really in my bliss is while I get to be home alone by myself, or out on a walk outside with no one else around. A very positive side effect of being very comfortable alone, one which I am developing more of, is I don't need to talk about myself when I do interact with friends. And so I have learned to be genuinely interested in people and be a good listener, which actually makes me more likable. The old way was using an opportunity to talk to someone to meet my own perceived social needs, and from that angle I ended up stuck in my own head blurting out things just to fill any silence and hope I am being a good enough talker.

What potential actions and paths offer the most value to yourself and your community? Have you gone through Leo's Life Purpose Course? If not, I highly recommend it. What would Love do now? --- Fruitful. Fertile. Generative. Valuable. Arable. Abundance. Value. Help. All In. Giving. Efflux. Acceptance. Patience. Beauty. Assistance. Peace. Joy. Cooperation. Creation. Intelligence. Efficiency. Grace. Passion. Vibrance. Contribution. Focus. Care. Gentle. Soothing. Inspiration. Growth. Mastery. Vision. --- “There is nothing I have to do, nowhere I have to go, and no way I have to be except exactly the way I am being right now. My happiness is knowing this, my joy is expressing it, my bliss is experiencing it.” How can I serve myself in the highest creation? How can I serve humanity today? How can I spread love to others today? How can I help others grow today? What would Love do now?

@thetrut11 You are correct about relative love. From a relative perspective, everything you say is true and I don't think anyone on the forum would disagree with you regarding relative love. You are missing something about unconditional Love. Yet you don't seem more interested in protecting your relative view as absolute, than to expand. Here is the key question for you. . . Which people should we tell it is relative? If we tell non-cannibals that cannibalism is beautiful, they will be disgusted. If we tell cannibals that cannibalism is beautiful it will resonate with them. Watch how the cannibal talks about human arms and legs in the first video. Watch interview with Jeffrey Dahmer. He was very open open about his cannibalistic nature. From their perspective, human limbs are beautiful. Observe how the man talks about human limbs in the first video, he has a deep appreciation and he is in bliss. This is undeniable. You can observe it for yourself. Obviously, the disgusting nature of cannibalism is not universal - if it was universally disgusting, there wouldn't be any cannibals! The nature of cannibalism is relative. Personally, I have the genetics and social conditioning to perceive cannibalism as being disgusting. The idea of eating another human is repulsive to me. As well, I would help protect someone from a cannibal. However, there is transcendence that is aware my orientation is relative and that a cannibal has a different relative orientation. Importantly, no one is saying the opposite to your view is universally true. Your view is that cannibalism is disgusting. No one is saying that you are wrong and that cannibalism is not disgusting - rather that it is beautiful. The point is that cannibalism is beautiful to a cannibal. This is a half-step to realizing absolute. Yet it is an important half-step. Without this half-step, a person will conflate relative and absolute - just as you are doing here.

I relate with what you said, I've lived most of my days in the solitary bliss of my room But but there's a catch. I realized that I 'need' to be alone for long periods of time after socializing. And that means that people are draining my energy. Why are they able to drain my energy? Because it is not in my control. I find superficial discussions on general life and politics very uninteresting and whenever someone starts discussing these topics, my mind wanders off into some other place, a.k.a. I lose my presence and awareness, which causes the loss of energy. If I can figure out a way to remain present equally in all scenarios, with or without people, company would be as blissful as solitude and better still, there wouldn't be much distinction between what I find interesting and what I don't find interesting. And I have a long way to go. (Do you notice how enlightened people have no need to be alone nor do they need to be around people all the time? They do whatever is necessary for whatever work they are doing.)

Okay, it has been a few years, same phantom pain but its irregular, sometimes its just pure bliss but when its there there is almost bo way getting rid of it. Sometimes there comes a deep sense of resistance to meditation that you almost makes you want to move the body psychologically. However there are some other techniques that kinda reverses the strong determination sitting principle like working with fear and completion also listening to existential truths works. Thanks!

Hm. I don't know what to say really. But I can totally see how the spiritual path of dissolving the ego gradually would bring bliss and reduce any suffering.

In the Garden of Eden we were in bliss as we lived in ALIGNMENT with the structure of reality. But we also had NO AWARENESS of it. As consciousness wanted to know itself, the fall happened. Humanity started to OPPOSE the structure of reality and friction was created. This friction is what we call pain and suffering. And so pain and suffering have divine purpose as it informs consciousness where opposition of the structure of reality is happening. Thus consciousness learns about itself by learning about what it is NOT. And so as you start your quest of UNDERSTANDING the strcuture of reality you will WELCOME pain more than anything, as without you would be lost. And as you realign your interpretation of reality with the truth, you will be able to correctly predict the outcome of an action. Thus your ability to create your desires will merely be the reflection of the accuracy of your understanding of truth.

If it comes suddenly, it is most likely also bound to go suddenly. Sometimes this happens without us really knowing why. You can try to go and figure it out and maybe you'll find some nice answers, but this is not the essential. Be prepared for this too change. The best preparation for that shift is not to start fearing or mentally bulking yourself up or whatever, but to actually detach from the positive and pleasant sensations you're having right now. Just don't give it any special attention. Enjoy it, but when I say enjoying it I don't mean that you need to grab onto it. Just allow it to go through you and stay neutral towards it. People are all enthousiastic about the notion of detachment when things are going bad, but when things are going good they forget all about that notion and then completely lose themselves in the positive duality. This is how most people with bipolar disorder experience their life. They get depressed and then life gets all terrible and they may even start contemplating suicide, and then sometime later enter their manic phase in which they get all energetic and happy, and this depressive phase that they had loses all their meaning, and they get completely lose in the impulsive mania and start acting really stupid, because their thinking process is: "What does it matter? I'm completely happy anyway!". And then they have to deal with the shit they created in this manic phase when they enter their depressive phase again. And so the cycle goes on. You can't detach from the negative if you aren't willing to detach from the positive. Right now is your best opportunity. You may not feel like you're very interested right now because you're happy and nothing else really seems to matter because you're happy and peaceful anyways, but when you would get to a phase in which things would start to get much worse, then the notion of detachment will probably seem a whole lot more attractive to you, but then its in some sense too late because when you're low, you have much less energy and space for you to be able to detach yourself. When you're high, it's much easier to detach in a sense because the detachment won't come out of a struggle, which will be the tendency when you're on the low side of things. True freedom isn't what you're experiencing right now. True freedom is the detachment from this positive, pleasant experience too. Freedom is detachment from all. Good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable. True and total freedom is to be aloof under any circumstances. That's what most people don't understand. They think that experiencing a high is the Ultimate. It's not the ultimate; it's just a high. It may be a existential melting with God and divine unity and infinite bliss or whatever, but once we get back in our normal state of mind and in the relative world, all it would have been was a high. Maybe such an experience is part of the Ultimate. But i feel that without the quality of the witness, of a detached Being, of what we could call "the fourth eye", I still feel like something is missing. If you come to get addicted or attached to such experiences, however divine and total it may be, then still you are not free. Seek freedom, not experiences nor insights.

I am sorry Tsuki for not replying before. Did you send me Synchronicity? I have never participated in a forum anywhere before and was having a bit of trouble figuring it out. Still am I am sure. So I have been commenting on Leo's videos and writing in One Note. Like I think I am replying to you but wondering if I am replying to Ethan. I'm not really thrilled to hear what it is like for Ethan. I see no reason to doubt him but it's a dirty job and I'm glad that I don't have to do it. Yet. Oh shit. I hope he gets to the bliss part pretty quick if I Follow him. And if I am him. And I'm not going to check my bank account until tomorrow but I will split the million with you if this Rebecca of my infinite selves is the one that got lucky. That "if" part pretty much kills it for us though. Suddenly God as Nothing is looking better and better. So maybe God as Ethan wanted to try being Humanity without forgetting the infinity part. Man, I don't even like filing and sorting my stuff! He is kind of nailing it in terms of what I got a glimpse of with infinite possible lives and only one now. I wish he hadn't brought in the pets and the phone though.

seeking a mystical experience is kind of a trap in this work, which i myself sometimes fall into. Because once you become Infinite, and once you get past any backlash you might have, you want to become it again. The best thing i would say to do is continue your meditation practices, or yoga, etc. But do not go in seeking a mystical experience, simply do the practices and dwell in Being or the present moment. Because seeking or desiring a mystical experience is paradoxically moving you away from it because it is the ego co-opting it for itself. This work is very paradoxical and counter-intuitive. Ultimately you can discover that there is no difference between this (duality) and a mystical experience (non-duality). You are in bliss now, you just aren't conscious of it At that point there is no more need to seek anything.

@Annoynymous A mystical experience, which is direct experience of pure Being / Infinite Love / Formlessness / Infnity, will remove all anxiety, worry, depression, suffering, etc and replace it with Divine Absolute Bliss - but alas, only for a time. Essentially you die before you die, and when you come back, you still flee this bliss but for a short period of time. However, as you integrate back into your ego, these things will slowly creep back into your life. That is why it is said that this is where the real work begins. Your level of consciousness as a result of the experience has gone up - and you now are armed with the realizations that you took away from the mystical experience. With these realizations you can begin the work of mastering your ego, through understanding yourself and reality better, and using the skill of going meta. For example, if you have the realization that death is infinite Love, then what is there really to be anxious about, or worry about, or fear? With this understanding you can slowly transcend fear itself, which is rooted in the fear of death - because you've already died! It is easier said than done because survival skills kick in and fear is necessary for the survival of the self. But ultimately the more awakenings you have and the deeper you go the easier it will be and the more conscious you become. This will result in less and less suffering. More consciousness = less suffering. So through integrating these realizations you will greatly reduce suffering in your life - because you are able to see through the root of suffering itself now. That is why it is said that liberation is ultimately the end of all suffering. Because you have become Infinite, but then returned to a finite form - though this time different - and able to see the illusion of form, and that in order for there to be form there must be deception. That is how it helps. But it is a process of integration and embodiment in your everyday life.

Mystical Traditions have methods of semen retention which is said to facilitate awakening of kundalini/central channel and offer other benefits. In my experience I have never gone more than like 5 weeks in one run. After orgasming I notice a substantial drop in energy, motivation, concentration, clarity, I feel more anxiety, less mood stability, even. I notice that my meditation goes deeper and my one pointedness is stronger after like 2 to 3 days of abstinence. I feel more confident, music sounds better, I feel more alive, etc. However, it is difficult/impossible to maintain the semen retention for longer periods of time. How do people do this? I have cut down huge from how I sexually active I used to be. Like 5 years I used to masturbate nearly daily and sometimes multiple times per day. I don't know if I just did not notice "side effects" back then because I did it so often whereas as now as of lately I will do once a week on average with sometimes being twice a week but I don't like to do it too often. I get a biological urge for orgasm after so many days but I feel much better not being compulsive/addicted/habituated from a period of abstinence. The benefits I listed above became apparent after I experimented with semen retention. I noticed that if I take a psychedelic after like 4 or 5 days or more abstinence I have more lucidity, more bliss, more stability, can go deeper into the experience, what I experience has more staying power, etc with my trips. Can people share their input and/or own experiences with this? There are more moments of such joy and freedom from compulsion that I glimpse after semen retention streaks that I wish I could not have the biological need to orgasm/have sex/masturbate. It's a fulfillment that beats fiending for a biological release but I can't maintain indefinitely and I wish it would not return really because of the moments of such fulfillment

@Commodent Thank you, too much of this transcendence BS going on here, no idea why, and it shows the immaturity of a lot of the people here imo. It's fine to fucking feel sad if you feel sad! I honestly don't get what people expect true awakening/ enlightenment is. @zeroISinfinity As I keep saying Leo isn't the only teacher in the world lol, and imo from various people I've spoken to is certainly not at the highest stage of realization, maybe he's had insights from his multitude of trips but it's pretty evident he isn't embodied there. I'm talking from direct experience which everyone seems to love here except when it goes against there agendas. You will still have emotions, you're a human, I don't get what you expect. BEfore you go into some rant on how we are awareness existentially, yes I get that and if you want to go there All there is the Self, there is no other, the Self is literally ALL, the world doesn't even exist as all there is is this Self, when you arrive here you realize an unbreakable silence. I'm really trying to help you, so many teachers preach transcendence of humanity and if I'm honest it's fucking dangerous, you are not a rock, you are a human who will experience an array of emotion. Yes there is a background of permanent peace that never leaves, but there is still emotion, a small example is an artist I listen to passed away suddenly yesterday and I felt an incredible rush of sadness, you know why? Because no longer do I suppress my emotions, instead I fully feel them with all my body, good or bad, as there is no resistance left, emotion is to be felt. I wish you luck if you think awakening is all sunshine and rainbows and you're round the corner from permanent bliss, of course there's states of bliss and love etc, but you can get that from Psyches, a true genuine awakening is learning to feel absolutely everything without resistance and living life FULLY in the now, whatever life throws at us. About destroying the mind, I have done that, the Mind doesn't actually exist, all that exists are thoughts that simply rise in The Self/ Awareness whatever you want to call it, do their thing and pass, no such thing as a mind ever existed, thoughts are always 1 thought at a time no matter how entangled they can become due to the I-Thought. You are not telling me the truth, because not one word can be uttered about the truth, the absolute can not be put into words, hence why all words are merely pointers. The Truth can only be experienced and lived, in reality EVERYONE is the truth, yet very few know it, very few consciously live as The Self. But, please, be careful when thinking enlightenment will lead to you somehow transcending this world, when this very world is the Buddha, the laptop I'm writing this on is the Buddha, EVERYTHING is and This is it, this very moment is it.

@zeroISinfinity Sorry but that's complete BS, and a total fantasy in my eyes, and is part of the issue. I promise I'm not meaning to be rude but this is a HUGEEE trap I constantly see, and one I fell for. You're telling me Self-Realized beings wouldn't get sad/ cry when a family member passes away, or they see injustice in the world? If anything I've noticed the opposite, you feel your emotions 1000x stronger as there's no longer any resistance, at the same time there's also nothing but space/awareness etc at the 'centre' of these thoughts and emotions therefore they are no longer sticky so to speak. Maybe for some Yogi's meditating in a cave 24/7 with no real responsibilities or traditional life you could stay in a bliss state 24/7, but in the real world it's very naive to think that. This sort of thinking promotes transcendence of the human condition rather than embodying and embracing your humanity, which is a KEY part of the work that is usually missed out on. @Haumea2018 used a great term for this 'PsychoSpiritual' learning who you are on a personality level is key, the term 'different strokes for different folks' is a great representation of this. Except without knowing about yourself, you won't learn your personal pitfalls and how to move past them. This is not a one size fits all teaching as many Neo-Advaitans would have you believe. Again, not at all meaning to be rude, but this can really hinder progress.

Because adults fear for them. Adults handle most of the child's survival needs (if the adults are good), which affords the child the luxury of play and being. Of course a child has less to fear because they don't know how dangerous the world is yet. In this case ignorance is bliss. But it cannot last.

If you were spontaneous and live in the eternal present, the eternal now, forget about the past, don't worry about the future but live in this particular second, in this second there are no problems. If you can only stay in this split second, noone is hungry, noone is ill, noone is in need, noone is suffering. As you begin to stay in that split second, this split second expands into a minute, into two minutes, into ten minutes and as you abide in it, it turns into eternity. You are always in that split second where nothing is happening. Where no thing is taking place. That split second is bliss, pure intelligence, absolute reality and you are that. […] It begins when you get up in the morning. You observe the I. You watch yourself thinking I got up, I just woke up. But now here's the catch, do not allow the I to go any further. As soon as you watch yourself saying, "I just woke up." Try to catch yourself and ask yourself the question, "Who is the I that just woke up?" For in that split second prior to awakening you were in bliss, no thoughts. But as soon as you begin to think of the I, the world comes into play. In that split second before I came along you were awake. Yet there was no world, there were no people, there was no universe, there were no problems. In that split second. But as soon as you began to think of I your troubles began. Because you're thinking about the day, I'm hungry, I have to take a shower. I have to get dressed and I begins to do its mischief. That is why it's very important to observe the I coming out. If you can really observe it you will see that the I is coming out of your spiritual heart on the right side of your chest. But a funny thing will happen. As you observe it, it will go back, isn't that interesting? As you observe the I or as you question it, "Where did the I come from?" It will stop. It will stop its procedure, it will stop its journey to the brain where you become body conscious. All these things happen in a split second. So you have to be aware, you have to be alert, you have to watch for it. I admit it takes some effort in the beginning but it's well worth it. Think about this again. Just before you awaken to the I, you are already awake in that split second. In that split second there is no world but you are awake, you are conscious, you're totally happy, you're totally self-realized in that split second. But then the I begins its journey from the heart to the brain. Now if you can observe the I and question its authority, it will lose its momentum and slow down. And begin to return to the heart. If you can get it to return to the heart, you will be conscious but you will be liberated. You will go about your business like you always do. You will take your shower, you will eat your breakfast, it will all happen spontaneously. There will be no thoughts. The only experience you will have is total bliss. Total happiness, total joy and yet your body will go about it's business. It can happen all at once or it can take time. But it's worth the effort, isn't it? Even if it takes you a lifetime, at least you will be free at that time. What is more important than this? Can anything be more important than this? This guarantees that you do not return to this earth. It guarantees that while you are alive in your body, so-to-speak, you will be a jivan-mukta, self-realized in the body. This is your only salvation. But you've got to do it. These teachings used to be handed out by the Rishis from mouth to mouth to explain it. It is most difficult to comprehend the books. Even though some of them are very clear ... (tape break then Robert continues) ... something within that knows what to do to make it happen. But if you try to understand with your brain, with your head, you will forget. And when tomorrow morning comes you will get up and your I will take over immediately. You will say I'm late for work, I'm in a hurry, I'm this and I'm that and you will forget everything we're talking about this evening. But if you are listening with your heart, when tomorrow morning comes you will spontaneously be able to catch yourself. I will repeat again how to do this. When you first open your eyes, in that split second you are conscious. The I has not risen yet, but remember it's all happening in a second. So you've got to be aware, you've got to be awake, intelligent. Watch and you will notice that the I begins very faintly and becomes stronger. You can shout out, "Who are you?" That's the same as saying, "Who am I?" Who gave you permission to awaken? Observe, watch. The I will begin to lose momentum. The I will become weaker and weaker. The way it usually happens with people, with most people, is they're able to catch it for maybe a few seconds and then the I will take over completely. Do not be disappointed, that is the worst thing you can do. It has taken most people years, centuries perhaps to go all the way. Be happy with what you've got. But as you begin to do this practice diligently, everyday, that split second where you observe the I, will expand into a full second, into two seconds, into three seconds. In other words for those three seconds you will be self-realized to an extent. You will be conscious, period. You will not be conscious of this or that, you will be conscious. And you will feel something you never felt before, a joy. You will know you're on the right track. Then when the I takes over completely you can get up and go about your business and ask yourself, "Who am I? What is the source of the I?" During the day as the thoughts come to you, be receptive, be alert, question, "To whom do these thoughts come?" They come to me, "Who's me? Who am I? What is the source of the I?" Practice that all day. […] May you all experience bliss and your true Self. Robert Adams, T63: How Bad Do You Want To Awaken?

LETTING GO ISN’T SOMETHING “I” DO BUT JUST SOMETHING THAT APPEARS TO NATURALLY HAPPEN Letting go is often implied to be something we can do when one is experiencing circumstances that bother us. Letting go, however, isn’t something we do, nor is it done just when something seems to bother us. In fact, letting go is meditation of the Self on the Self by observing the non-self. It’s not just a letting go of things that seem to bother “us” but also the letting go of what doesn’t bother you as well. Letting go of even that which you seem to enjoy. Letting go of the experiences and the experiencer altogether. It’s the letting go of the person. Letting go of the “you” that is only a self-image in the mind, this separate self individual that doesn’t have an independent reality and is entirely relative to thoughts. This is liberation, this is true meditation. The person who doesn’t even exist isn’t who meditates. Just observe the one who appears to have cravings but do not identify with the mind’s creating yet another image of identity in the thoughts of “I am not the person but the observer observing the person,” or “I am now this witness witnessing the individual.” Notice how all desires always arise with this individual who appears in the mind as the I-thought. If you observe this supposed entity that really isn’t any entity at all and don’t identify with it then the “letting go” just happens effortlessly and spontaneously. If you abide here in this function of detached witnessing the desire/craving will subside and disappear on its own. Only the natural bliss of being will remain which desires only seem to veil and make seem like a temporary transient experience that really isn’t temporary, transient, nor experience. It just is. There is no Doer who can make the craving come or go away. There is no Doer that can do “letting go.” There is no Doer that can make change of the wanted or unwanted feeling or do the allowing of a negative feeling. It just happens, and if you abide in the witnessing non-identity you’ll soon realize there is no Doer. What appears to be happening just appears to be happening to absolutely no one. -iZuhm