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I'm not at all convinced that these are physical phenomena in the normal sense. I like what Terrence McKenna had to say on the subject. I'm having a hard time digging up a clip, but essentially he thinks UFOs are a sort of mass Jungian hallucination, something that is quasi-real in that they can be part of an experience shared by multiple people, but not physically as real as a tree that we can go up to and touch. He said is that he saw a classic Flying Saucer at one time. It came very close, close enough that he could see the rivets in the metal. He said it looked just like a classic 50s flying saucer. He questioned why would an extremely advanced spacefaring alien be building something that was in the style of a 50s vacuum cleaner, and be using rivets? He conclusion was that these are not real in the normal sense, but were somehow generated from a mass cultural expectation of what these things should be. In support of this idea, the style of UFOs that are sighted has changed over the decades, in a way that stylistically matches the gestalt of the era. In the 50-70s people were seeing WWII style flying saucers. Then they started seeing the flying triangles in the 80s and 90s. Now people are seeing more ethereal energy orbs. Why would an advanced alien technology coming from thousands of light-years away be upgrading their craft in order to match earthling aesthetics every couple of decades? It seems it's somehow intertwined with our own consciousness, memories and ideas. And they always appear on the fringe of recordability, nebulous, like a receding horizon. They might be so strange and hard to comprehend that we can't really pin them down as literal spacecraft from afar. If they're real they might be so bizarre and advanced that we can't contextualize them the way we think of normal physical objects like rocket ships and rocks.

Additional Report #2 It would be technically Day 72, but I missed quite a few since the marathon has ended. Yesterday and the day before, I experimented with reading under the spell of shamanic breathing. Being a creator myself, this was a crucial part to test and see the implications of, as before each writing I write up specific instructions for the reader to perform. One of them being five minutes of shamanic breathwork. Here's a quick summary of what shamanic breathing can do when combined with a text. You breathe for a given time, you read in the afterglow. What I found was quite fascinating - and heart-warming, for what it matters - because I know now that a ground-shaking state can be induced without a psychedelic, to which a small portion of the readers won't have access. Everyone behaves differently, but I have found my equilibrium between too shallow and too intense of an experience (to carry out reading) to rest at five minutes. You should accompany it with appropriate music. Hans Zimmer works well, but it also depends on the text's character. I encourage you to give this combined activity a try. Well-written texts will appear relishing, enlightening, clear and fresh. You will understand them in depth, sentences will appear profound, mystical, beautiful. You will develop a sort of telepathy with the author, for you will seem to perfectly untangle the meaning of each word. *An entertaining side note: If you occasionally play video games, give shamanic breathing a try first. Then play something like Alien: Isolation. In my case, this is both a terrific and a wonderful experience. I find the breathing to dissolve psychological boundaries which encircle the ordinary state, as seen in previous reports, and therefore I'm not constrained by the notion of 'playing a video game' and 'sitting in front of a monitor.' You quite literally appear to be in the environment. Many of your materialistic cravings can be satisfied through this practice, and more easily transcended.

Isn't it strange how normalized and unspectacular this seems to be in our time? A decade ago I would have completely freaked out by this news, I would have been utterly mind blown. I remember as a kid looking at the stars, sometimes thinking that a light moving around might be a UFO. There was a real sense of fear and mystery, it seemed to me like if we found out it was aliens, the entire world would change. It would have been the most significant event in all of human history, more significant than all the world wars, all historical events. It would shake the foundation of human civilization, that is what it felt like. Today it seems more like a curiousity than anything, maybe it would be worth to reconnect to that sense of awe again. It aliens truly are here with us, it could recontextualize everything. What if they have been shaping us, what if they are shaping us right now? Why wouldn't they, if they are more conscious and loving than us? What is even more fascinating to me though is to know that there is an entirely different world, an entirely different history of evolution, culture and technology, that we could come to learn about and discover. It would also make us far less arrogant, we would finally realize that our place in this world is relative, and that we have never been the pinacle of evolution. I think this is something humanity desperately needs to come to understand for it to be able to live in harmony with it's brothers and sister. Don't forget that these beings could be so far advanced that might be able to manipulate genes without ever even touching a human being. They could have created our sensitivity for spirituality, they could have let emerge all psychedelic plants on this planet. To just give an idea how advanced they might be, they could experience millions and billions of years, watching us, interacting with this planet. To them it might not be millions and billions of years, they could be able to control how they feel and perceive time. To them, watching us grow up could be instantaniously, an interaction comparable to making coffee. Infact, they could have watched and designed all life on earth, for billions of years, and all of that might be nothing but a five minute journey to them. But even more mindblowing is that they could experience every single second like it was thousands of years, and they could not get bored ever, every moment they experience could be filled with fascination, love and joy, whilst observing individual molecules moving in slow motion. They could do this for trillions of years. To humans that seems like a long time, and dreadfully boring, but this is only because of our biological limitations. They might be so advanced that there is actually only one entity that is a super-consciousness of the entire civilization. Every entity no more than an eye through which the super-consciousness processes all experience. Evolution would take place within that one super-consciousness. It's impossible to even imagine what it would be like to be that kind of consciousness. It would be like a smaller version of Godhood, unrestricted by the limitations of pre-superconsciousness evolution. It could have a multidimensional perception of time, maybe perception to that entity wouldn't even be linear. Maybe it experiences not the linear events, but all of them at once. Who knows, but I find it very interesting how it interacts with us as described by Commander Fravor. It seems to somehow mimik us without actually having a true understanding of what we are. It seems like it didn't know it would be discovered by the fighterjet, as it started interacting with it as if it was disrupted doing whatever it was doing, it seems like it had some sort of standardize response. What exactly is it communicating with us when it is mimiking us? There are so many question here. What I find hard to believe however is that such an advanced entity could ever crash on this planet unintentionally. How is it possible to be so advanced and still have your modality of travel break down? Whatever the entity was, it seems like it had to know this would happen. It could also be that it just has a standardized drone system that moves through the universe, detects life, and then somehow interacts with it in a dynamic but predetermined way. Maybe the drones are in the process of understanding us, or finding ways to interact with us. Maybe if a civilization becomes advanced enough, it loses it's ability to comprehend what it's like to be a individual life form, like a human being, or an ant. Maybe we are so foreign to them that they actually struggle to understand us. If they even understand anything to begin with. It could be that they exist on a completely different spectrum of consciousness. If it comes to movies, the most convincing alien I have yet seen is from Annihilation. Spoiler altert: If there were different degrees of advancement, I would say this would be one of the end-stages of advancement. So advanced that there is no goal to your existence other than pure Creativity. No ego, no fear of death, no fear of dissolution, just pure Love. This would come with great suffering, but that is what the Love of God is. It's like a bubble of Godhood within the greater Godhood. It's funny how this movie is supposed to be Horror, but it seems to encapsulate Love in the relationship to ego really well.

Well, they could be many things but I remembered about the Rendlesham Forest Incident. They said about three ghost like entities... which don't seem to be of alien origin. But... who knows.

and there's 1000x more in the US. Point is, there's a deep correlation between geography and UFO sightings. And if you look further into the paranormal, like alien abductions, you see there's geographical correlations there too. I'm not saying anything about what that means, just that, that's a relative fact.

Monday 14/09/2020 00:20 Wonder if I'm going crazy or the point of any of it. Wondering whether I'm imagining and creating spiritual meanings and experiences where there are none. And whether there's just this nothingness. I've encountered this feeling before and each time it feels alien and dangerous. Whether I was muslim, atheist, or now "spiritual", the experience and feeling encountered is the exact same. Feeling lost, confused, sad and scared of meaninglessness and nothing.

@Fran11 @Consept It brings to mind the balance between grounding and groundless. Order and disorder. In the context of SD, red is groundless ‘anything goes’ without rules and order - yet often in a harmful way to others. Blue came arose with the utility of rules and laws for social grounding and order. Perhaps as Green emerges, the pendulum may swing back into a new groundless, ‘anything goes’ relativity - yet a new form that is distinct from Red’s groundlessness. This groundlessness is more hyper relativity and fluidity. As an extreme example for strong contrast: imagine each person fluidly identifying with whatever arose with no grounding. Some people are cyborgs, others trans-animals, trans-plants - the next day one could be an alien, human, one of hundreds of genders. It would be like a groundless dream world. . . Having some categories and consistency in a timeline seems to have practical value in having a society. Yet who knows what things will look like in 100 years. It’s also interesting to think what conservative and progressive is. If someone thinks it’s a bad idea for everyone in society to just be whatever identity they want in the moment, is that a conservative view? It may be in another 50 years. Perhaps the progressive view is fluid trans-identity expression of Now. Yet how could society function? How could people have continuous jobs, schools etc.? Yet maybe I’m being an old fuddy duddy conservative.

Again, this assumes too much. You assume a perfect correlation between surrender and consciousness, which just isn't the case. There is some correlation in general, but it's far from perfect. You can be in a state of zero self/ego, but still not be infinitely conscious. A rock has no self/ego. It is fully surrendered. But it is not very conscious at tall. You guys keep conflating all these different facets and dimensions of consciousness, and that's because you haven't deeply explored all the various states that consciousness can take on. Hence your view of consciousness is very one-dimensional. It's sort of like the difference between someone who's lived in one country his whole life vs someone who's traveled the world. If you ask the one-country guy about how the world is, he will give you a very narrow picture based on his little corner of the world which he has assumed is the same everywhere else. If you ask the word-traveler, he will regale you weird tails of alien and unbelievable cultures that will hardly make any sense because you had to be there to understand it. Teachings like Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta make consciousness seem very one-dimensional. Because that's all you get through meditation and self-inquiry. You can't shift your consciousness significantly enough via those methods. Hence you end up confusing the limits of those methods with the limits of consciousness itself. Which is a great delusion.

So soul is not physical but physical is... Alien savior? I'd rather be 'saved' by aliens than stupid hoomans

It’s not all metaphorical. It’s describing a very physical cataclysm followed with an alien pseudo saviour who tries to take over the world prior to the true owner reclaiming His throne. Then it is followed by complete destruction at a later time after the earth had repopulated. Every so often the earth resets. We weren’t the first and won’t be the last. All physical is destroyed, the soul does not.

I'm going to paste what I wrote to myself in my journal today, because I can't think of what else to say or ask other than to just put it out there and see the response _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ A lot of my shadow is sexual in nature. Sex itself, alongside the possible things that are possibly underneath the surface of these sexual forces, is very strange thing for me. My inclination towards this domain of reality from a very young age makes me reverent of the existence of alien and unknown qualities in nature. "karma", "the collective unconscious", these are different labels for desires, situations, that I myself don't feel I created more so I was thrown into. When I was 5 I discovered the adult channels on television. I would use the TV when I was alone at night. I felt drawn to the scantily clad women but I didn't know why. Not too soon after I connected a few dots, realised the concept of attraction. So I watched late night adult channels for a while to myself. When I was 6 I would use google to try and search for naked girls, although I didn't know porn existed and so I would just go on google images and search what my brain could think of "Hot naked ladies", something like that. ----- There's one thing I'm genuinely confused about from the details I do remember. Because whatever way I slice it, this event seems absurd, and perhaps concerning. This has gotten me unsettled, but I don't know if I'm paranoid. Okay so this is set when I'm 5 years old. I'm in school, in class. All of us kids in the class would sit down on the ground whilst the teacher, who was female, would read some book and we listen. Now whilst everyone would sit directly in front of the teacher, facing her, I would sit around the side of the teacher. A bit to the side, and even a bit behind perhaps. But anyway, whilst the teacher was reading, I'd look up her skirt! My head was directly beneath her skirt, peeking!!!! And it was all the time. I remember the colour of her socks and what they looked like, seeing her legs. It's possible that I even touched her socks, but I can't be sure and I don't know, my memory is just so hazy trying to remember this. And this was a frequent occasion. I'd do it every time she's reading and gathers us. I THINK I WOULD FIDGET AROUND, LOOK UNDER HER SKIRT, AND NOBODY NOTICED OR CARED. Which I find strange. Maybe she knew but didn't care? I have no clue. I think it might have literally been the case that, everyones eyes were glued on the teachers face and nobody was looking at me, and I was behind the teacher at such a weird angle that nobody saw or knew what I was doing. Just assuming I was fidgeting a bit but was listening like the rest of them. ---- Anyway. Back on track. When I was 12 I discovered pornography. Am addicted to that till this day, being 20 years old now. All my jock male friends in school would mingle with females, but I had it instilled in me that having females as friends was a sin. You're told growing up that you shouldn't look at a female you're not married to for any nanosecond longer than is necessary. You feel like you neither fit in with your home culture or the west. This alienation lasted for years after I knew I wasnt Muslim and is probably a main factor of my depression. I had a crush back in high school, and that person still remains a symbol in the various images that pops in my head. I remember having an insight not too long ago about how a problem I was having came back to the feelings I had for this girl, many many years ago. My porn tastes became extreme and escalated. Sadistic, domination and worse . I've only confided in 1 person about the full extent of my problem. Despite extreme tastes, my use of porn isn't that that much. I've only masturbated once in the past 3 days, for example. But I go through periods of time of masturbating daily.

Sat 05/09/2020 10:06 I've been in the grip of past images and sensations. Deja vu. I'm remembering one of my first "enlightenment experiences". When I was 16 or so I heard of meditation from Sam Harris. And for whatever reason, two of the first powerful experiences I had were when I was bored on the bus and paying attention to my breath. I wanted to see "where is my breath coming from?". It was probably my first realisation of no-self and no free will. Extremely random. I had no frame of reference or theory for what my experiences were since I was a stout atheist who grew up with islam. But I remember realising, I'm in control of nothing, and I don't know why anything is. I have no free will. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ My energetic state right now, my emotions, images, I feel like I'm in the past. This is likely due to my recently disturbed sleeping pattern. I've been fluctuating in and out of dissociation whilst awake. Right now, I'm not dissociated. I'm just hit by extremely, extremely hard deja vu. I feel like I'm 16 again, sleep deprived in the morning with a very particular flavour of subtle anxiety, wearing my white button shirt, sitting on the bus and going to psychiatric (work experience)/(internship). This very particular flavour of anxiety...it reminds me of a distant time. The time before my emotions became as they are now. I used to experience this flavour of anxiety very frequently. I experienced around the time my psychological issues were starting to converge into a turning point which eventually became depression. This combination of bad sleep and accidentally forgetting to take my SSRI meds for a couple of days, it did something. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I have a large shadow A lot of my shadow is sexual in nature. Sex itself, alongside the possible things that are possibly underneath the surface of these sexual forces, is very strange thing for me. My inclination towards this domain of reality from a very young age makes me reverent of the existence of alien and unknown qualities in nature. "karma", "the collective unconscious", these are different labels for desires, situations, that I myself don't feel I created more so I was thrown into. When I was 5 I discovered the adult channels on television. I would use the TV when I was alone at night. I felt drawn to the scantily clad women but I didn't know why. Not too soon after I connected a few dots, realised the concept of attraction. So I watched late night adult channels for a while to myself. When I was 6 I would use google to try and search for naked girls, although I didn't know porn existed and so I would just go on google images and search what my brain could think of "Hot naked ladies", something like that. ----- There's one thing I'm genuinely confused about from the details I do remember. Because whatever way I slice it, this event seems absurd, and perhaps concerning. This has gotten me unsettled, but I don't know if I'm paranoid. Okay so this is set when I'm 5 years old. I'm in school, in class. All of us kids in the class would sit down on the ground whilst the teacher, who was female, would read some book and we listen. Now whilst everyone would sit directly in front of the teacher, facing her, I would sit around the side of the teacher. A bit to the side, and even a bit behind perhaps. But anyway, whilst the teacher was reading, I'd look up her skirt! My head was directly beneath her skirt, peeking!!!! And it was all the time. I remember the colour of her socks and what they looked like, seeing her legs. It's possible that I even touched her socks, but I can't be sure and I don't know, my memory is just so hazy trying to remember this. And this was a frequent occasion. I'd do it every time she's reading and gathers us. I THINK I WOULD FIDGET AROUND, LOOK UNDER HER SKIRT, AND NOBODY NOTICED OR CARED. Which I find strange. Maybe she knew but didn't care? I have no clue. I think it might have literally been the case that, everyones eyes were glued on the teachers face and nobody was looking at me, and I was behind the teacher at such a weird angle that nobody saw or knew what I was doing. Just assuming I was fidgeting a bit but was listening like the rest of them. ---- Anyway. Back on track. When I was 12 I discovered pornography. Am addicted to that till this day, being 20 years old now. All my male friends in school would mingle with females, but I had it instilled in me that having females as friends was a sin. You're told growing up that you shouldn't look at a female you're not married to for any nanosecond longer than is necessary. You feel like you neither fit in with your home culture or the west. This alienation lasted for years after I knew I wasnt Muslim and is probably a main factor of my depression. I had a crush back in high school, and that person still remains a symbol in the various images that pops in my head. I remember having an insight not too long ago about how a problem I was having came back to the feelings I had for this girl, many many years ago. My porn tastes became extreme and escalated. Sadistic, domination and worse . I've only confided in 1 person about the full extent of my problem. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Anyway, I'm glad I wrote a mini biography for myself to reference.

DISCLAIMER: I had no intention initially of writing this trip report, but I just had to because of how interesting it was, and for personal documentation reasons too. This post is admittedly crazy, outlandish, bizarre and just plain weird. And I don't want this to start a non duality war. I also don't want this post to invoke judgement on the 'electrobeam' physical avatar (it will happen anyway by God's design (how else is duality possible ) , but I'm just pointing out my intention is not to troll or invoke such a response). I fully appreciate and embrace anyone who believes I'm deluded, crazy, zen devil, etc. I love you all and embrace all opinions that may come of this. I almost know nearly no one will resonate with what I'm about to write here. Maybe one or 2 yogis out in the jungle somewhere. But this post might strike a chord in 1 or 2 of you. Who knows and lets see. Why I wrote this Trip Report During the trip, I wasn't that surprised or valued this trip with any importance. In a weird way, everything that was happening was just normal. After coming down though and reflecting on it again, I just went "hold on, that was actually insanely crazy" I started to feel the significance of what just happened. I felt absolutely no significance, no surprise, at all during the trip. Absolutely no reason to feel alarmed. I even talked to people around me completely normally, and talked to them genuinely with what I was becoming conscious of as if its a normal talking point with people. But afterwards I went "what in the hell was that???". And I regretted sounding like an unusual guy to my flatmate. I was extremely shocked. This humbled me on the come down. And here I am, recording it. Also I dont claim to be enlightened(far far far from it), but I will use enlightenment terms to help with explanation. Intention for the trip So I awoke to infinite love some time ago, and after that I saw the universe completely differently. I basically realized that all suffering, evilness, etc was actually designed to give me a massive loving awakening. It was all done out of love. Just imagine your mum said "sorry I can only give you 20 bucks for your 21st birthday" and then you chastise her, attack her, then on your birthday she said "just joking! I actually gave you a million dollars!" And you find out later that she gave you that million through working 90 hours a week. Can you see how lowering your expectations by saying she can only give you a little, is actually better than if she said "i will give you a million dollars on your 21st birthday"? By lowering your expectations, when you actually get the gift, its a massive gift. Well thats why god invented world war 2, trump, etc. Because he's lowering your expectations so that when you do realize infinite love, you get extremely excited. That's why there's so much self deception, it all increases your surprise. And people on here asking "why is there torture, rape, etc" is like the child chastising her mum saying "why do you only give me 50 bucks for my 21st? You horrible mum!". And how would you feel once you realised that all those judgements of trump was like you chastising that mother? Once you realised trump was you? How sorry would you feel? Knowing all those judgements you did was pure stupidity and ignorance? So for the san pedro trip, I wanted to repent all my sins (all my judgements and hatred) because I felt so fucken ignorant, sad, arrogant and stupid for judging God, myself. And also my intention for this san pedro trip was to simply ask God for how to embody and live a life fully immersed in infinite love. BUT I'm not your typical seeker, I'm extremely/radically open minded, and I'm an extremely curious seeker that loves to 'understand'. I love omnipresence. Absolutely love it. A scientist's/INTPs dream is 100% omnipresence. Its philosophical nirvana. That's what us scientists get wet dreams over. We aren't like other seekers that just want to feel happy, or get over suffering, or just care about feeling good all day. We want to 'KNOW', 'UNDERSTAND' we aren't just satisfied with feeling good, we want to consciously know what's going on here. We want to go meta, again and again and again and again for absolutely no reason at all except because we are curious. And so, I had my intentions for the san pedro trip, but honestly, God decided to reveal some juicy secrets instead, so I just went for that. Drinking San Pedro I drank 30cm of san pedro juice I made up (getting pretty good at this brewing shit now, also my body must be getting use to san pedro because it didnt vomit this time, woohoo!) Trip Report - All the normal stuff that most teachers on here would agree with I think So I came up extremely slowly. Again just like the other san pedro trip report I did a while ago, I did not realise how high I was getting. I was getting waaay higher than I noticed. For me I thought what was happening was just a slight buzz. Nothing serious. Infact I was convinced I did the brew wrong, and I microdosed on this stuff (until later ). So I started questioning, how do I completely eliminate all hatred and judgement so that I can be infinite love all the time. Because I'm 2000% aware that I'm jumping from 1 to 2 and back to 1 again, and I'm doing that due to hatred and judgement. Once judgement and hatred is gone, and I embrace everything, that's it! Game over boiiis! I won! But then of course, being the highly meta, and scientific/INTP mind that I am, I jumped to questioning "wait, why am I even trying to eliminate judgment and hatred all together?". Like a curious question I've had for a while is, why did I, God, jump to duality in the first place. And then I became aware of the play. How we are all actors just pretending. The level of pretending that I became conscious of was insane. We pretend so much that its incredible. Matt Khan is pretending to be a spiritual teacher, that's the level. He's so conscious yet he's still pretending. And of course he isn't actually there and there are no 'others' but what I'm saying is God is capable of pretending to such an extent, that you could be as deeply enlightened as Ramana or Matt Khan and you'd still be pretending. Those teachers aint free of pretending, trust me. They get sucked into the thought story of being a teacher, and don't even realise they are getting sucked into that thought story. You can be deeply enlightened and yet still dogmatic and still believe in stuff and confuse truth for falsehood. This is how insanely large self deception is. Its unbelievable. I became aware of all of my lies (and this was necessary for repenting my sins of judgement and hatred). I had to let go of all lives to fully surrender to god. Then I became conscious for the first time of True omnipresence. I felt exactly, ex-act-fucken-leeee why everything was the way it is (and there is a ridiculously mind twisted answer below in the "off the deep end" section) but for now lets just say that I became aware that God knows everything about me, and before reincarnating as me, he knew exactly what was going to happen to me. Every single bit. He knows why I suck at meditation, COVID-19, my reincarnations of past lives, every-fucken-thing. Because the Godhead is a land where you know fucken everything. Its insane. And so when you think you're struggling with meditation and it sucks, and how everyone is better than you, or some other hardship, God KNEW all of that precisely! (to the nearest millimetre, nanosecond, micro moment, including the devilry) before deciding to reincarnate as you. Like in ego consciousness, it really feels like you're here for the first time, and God's doing something new and your the first. That's true. BUT! At the exact same time, God also knew everything that was about to happen. Its sort of like, imagine genes are the Godhead and the phenotypes are your life. Yes the phenotype is happening for the first time, But you knew everything that was gonna happen from the genes, just the knowledge from the genes is different to the experience of the actual phenotype though. So that's sort of what omnipresence is like, you dont experience everything but you fucken KNOW! The image I had of omnipresence was heaps of clouds out in the sky, and a dragon flying through it just looking down. Don't know why but there ya go. I decided to go for a walk because I was convinced I took a microdose and whats the worst that could happen (should have learnt my lesson from the last san pedro trip I did, but I'm God's son, so not learning my lesson is in my genes ) And again, just like the last san pedro trip, I didn't wake up, here I am 100% conscious as God. Just happened without realising it. No ego death, just here it is. And see at this point this is where doing trips to better or improve your life or spirituality goals starts to break down, because once you're fully conscious that everything is God's plan, you realise all your deficiencies are God's plan too. Even what I'm writing now, God knew all of this before reincarnating as me. And so improving spirituality from that state of consciousness doesn't make sense, because its already perfect. Your failure is perfect. At that point its just like, everything is already done. There's nothing to do, or improve on. And you realise, you entering this trip with an intention is itself a persona. Like you've got an intention because you're an actor pretending you're going through a spiritual journey that isn't actually there. But once you take the acting clothes off, there goes your intention. There goes everything. The intention's meaning requires acting as a basis for it to make sense. And so at this point its like, ok well, I'm at the beginning, where I'm trying to arrive at. Now there's no need for an intention...... now what? (meanwhile nearly got hit by a car because I stopped in the middle of the road just to recognise what's going on... oh the irony of being highly micro and macro at the same time) But then consciousness changed its tune. No, I'm gonna pretend again. And when I pretend, we need to change. I need more love. This story has gone through too much suffering, and not enough love, and the story's course needs to balance back to love again. And then I remembered total 100% omnipresence and perfectness. But then I went I know! But I need more love! That's gotta happen! Then God reminded me of 'the beginning'. Where I was before this entire, multi incarnation, multi universe world began. And reminded me that, you've known infinite love all your life. For eternity. This dualistic world you're in now, its new. Its never happened before. And that's amazing. Instead of rushing to where you were when you began, enjoy what this world has to offer. Trip Report: Off the Deep End: This is where I'd imagine the teachers on here reading this like wtf?? Insanity started here (if it didnt already hahahaha) Like stop rushing, and appreciate duality and form. Duality and form is a gift. Its not horrible. Its a gift. And I resonated with that godly message to a certain level, because this world is beautiful, and I am rushing too much to the enlightenment finish line, without enjoying the process. But honestly, from God consciousness, from a non dualistic standpoint, I rejected it. For the first time I witnessed God rejecting his own advice. Saying no to it. I said (extremely sincerely and genuinely and deeply) (as God) I know but, its not fun anymore. What's the point if its not fun? Its getting boring. Its getting too suffering intensive. I want a change to this world. Then an extremely subtle "snap!!!" happened in my brain. So subtle that the devil tried to cover it up. But it felt like I had just communicated my sincere plea for help, for love, to an extremely alien form of my higher self/God. Ridiculously alien. Expressing a need for change to the story I'm pretending to be in. And this is where things start getting trippy. Mind you, during the trip I thought all of this was completely normal. Only after the comedown when I remembered all this did I go, what is the actual fuck was all that about? So God said to himself in a monologue (as I AM God) "you really reject this dualistic life? You're seriously fed up with it? Its seriously not quenching your thirst?" And I thought about that, and honestly the answer was "yes". If I'm extremely honest with myself. I don't give a fuck about being a spiritual teacher, helping others, engaging with anyone in this world, all I want to do is know thyself. I'm super curious, and just want to know what the truly fuck is truly going on. I dont want bliss, or even love suprisingly, I just want to KNOW. To be as One as possible. Fuck the world. (this is in god consciousness, depression and human disorders are so long gone by this point I can't explain. So this is God saying it, not depressed electrobeam). Then God said "if you truly want to know all this stuff, then there's only 1 way". "what is that?" Then I got shown shit that I remembered. It didnt suprise me at all(until I came down). I remember this very very well. I knew this before the big journey. God showed me what true awakening is and said "all of your questions wont be answered, and what you truly want wont be discovered, until you truly awaken. There's absolutely no way to know the answers to your questions without 100% awakening" And what's the cost of 100% awakening? Completely and utterly forgetting everything that happened. Like completely forgetting when you were born, where you were born, your reincarnation's births, dmt machine elf incarnation births, your parents, the entire massive journey. Full on Universal Mind dementia. You'll know exactly what you want to know, but you'll need to completely forget your life to truly get the answer. Complete dissociation and never ever remembering it again, you wont even know this life happened. You (god mind you hahahaha, like the highest of the highest) wont even have a slight clue whether this journey happened or not. (like thats insane). And I went "hmmm that's right, I totally forgot about that" (now that seems insane but yes that happened hahahah; because im a good pretender. lets be real). So there I was walking around the park, contemplating (as God) whether I should completely and utterly wipe out this entire universe and multiverses to merge with True infinite love. Completely forget. And I walked back inside to take a sit on my sofa, because, you know, this is a pretty big decision, I need to think this through. and my flatmate asked if I was feeling ok, and I said "yeah I think I screwed up the brew because I don't feel anything". And I said that genuinely, I literally didn't feel like this san pedro did anything except for a slight buzz. But then I remembered I'm contemplating whether I'm gonna wipe out the entire universe. So I said "actually, I'm contemplating wiping out the entire universe, so maybe it did have an effect". But then from this level of consciousness, psychedelics are completely and utterly imaginary and everything is happening because of God, got absolutely nothing to do with psychedelics. So I'm like, wtf this is weird, I dont usually act like this off psychedelics, but at the same time psychedelics are completely imaginary, wtf... I'll come to that another day if I dont choose to wipe it out. The Absolute/Final/Total: Not Infinite Love, but infinity itself!!!! Mindfuck, radical open mindedness alert woo woo. I don't mean to offend anyone, but through the process of contemplating True awakening. I became conscious that all of my awakenings (no self, infinite love, everything/nothing, intelligence) were all just 1 dimensional, or all just apart of the matrix! Like I became conscious that the next big journey CAN and possibly WILL journey towards God completely differently to all of my awakening experiences. Like there are infinite different types of awakenings. And all of my awakenings were just 1 fucken type. Like I mean, non duality, and wave in the ocean, its all just 1 type of being. Non duality is just 1 type of being out of an infinite number of beings(at the same level of consciousness. Of course there's lots of types of beings, but I'm saying there's an infinite number of beings with the same level of consciousness as non duality), used to journey towards God. non duality is just a tiny sand spec in the beach. I've experienced infinite love, non duality many many many times before. I know those states very very well. I'm not confusing non duality for something else. I mean it when I say non duality is just 1 type of being, and there are completely different "big journeys" that probably happened in the past that uses completely different types of being equivalent to non duality but completely different. And of course, I had to ask the question. What's infinite love? Is it final? Is it absolute? And God made it clear, to truly know, I need to merge into infinite love and completely forget everything about this big journey. Even forget that non duality is a fucken thing! Because when I truly forget, even non duality wont exist. True awakening is beyond non duality, and the next being might be equivalent to non duality in terms of states of consciousness, but it will be completely different. And this sort of realisation of forgetting, made me realise, that Love also, is just 1 type of being. Its just 1 type of the highest state of consciousness. There are infinite states of Being equivalent to Love, but different! In other words, each big journey uses an equivalent state of consciousness, but one that is completely different to Love. But for you to realise those different states, you need to completely wipe out this big journey and completely forget and dissociate from it. What is God really? But see this is the thing, what is god really? God is pure unlimited-ness. Its not divisions, or energy or even fucken Love. Its pure, utter pure, unlimitedness. Like Ramana Maharshi is 0% aware of how blank the canvas really fucken is. Its extremely blank. The canvas isn't fundamentally made of love, no, no, no. You haven't reached the highest awakening if you're not aware of that. That canvas is made of pure unlimitedness. You can dream up any fucken thing, so much that its terrifying. That's what God is. Its not Infinite Love, that's not final. I know that sounds off, but I know 10000%, Infinite Love is not final. Final/Absolute is pure unlimitedness. Pure dream up whatever the fuck you want. Yes God ultimately wants to merge with itself, to unite with itself, and it does a dance between duality and non duality, but keep in mind, that's not what God ultimately is, beyond that is pure unlimitedness. That's what God actually is behind the scenes. And at this point of the trip, God started sweating a little. Because he just remembered what he actually is, and its terrifying. Electrobeam was fine. He was high, happy, low heart beat. But God was having a bit of an existential crisis. And God wasn't surprised, or shocked, God was like "oh thats right". And a bit of terror. At the fact that he's pure unlimitedness. Because the scary part is not that God is pure unlimitedness. God can do everything. Can dream up anything, but the terrorising part, is the fact that the one thing he can't do, is kill himself. Eradicate himself. Stop himself. You have no choice but to dream everything that you're capable of dreaming because you can't kill yourself. Holy fuck if that doesn't scare you, then I didn't imagine you and duality was real all along. Are you aware that your ability to create horror is unlimited? Youre a fucking supernova on repeat! And your job as God is to control yourself! Woah and I thought I had it tough doing my day job. What is Omnipresence really? Yeah we like to think that omnipresence is knowing stuff. unravelling stuff that's hidden. Omnipresence at the lower levels (in this dimension) is western science. Discovering microbes and stuff. The next level higher is awakenings, like everything and nothing. knowing what God actually is. The next level is revealing devilry and self deception, the next level is total omnipresence, knowing everything about why everything is the way it is... but that's not the highest... the highest level of omnipresence is, accepting, or being fully conscious that you created everything. Literally everything. I used the gene phenotype above in the normal section of my post about what 100% omnipresence feels like. The highest level of omnipresence is realising you made that entire thing up on the spot. You're so unlimited, your canvas is so empty, that everything you could be 100% omnipresent of, is there, not because God planned it, but because God created it on the fucken spot. god doesn't need to bend to any rules to make things appear. He doesn't have to plan. God doesn't have to plan the laws of physics. God is so unlimited, and his canvas is so empty, that he just makes it up on the spot. Your entire life, infinite love, waking up process, etc. Wasn't planned. God made it NOW, by saying "this is what I want NOW". Nothing else needed. Just now. Just this is it now. He doesn't even need intelligence, its beyond intelligence. Its pure unlimitedness. Everything that is to be omnipresent of, is literally just accepting that what you create is what is. In its purest form. And at this stage of the trip, I started questioning "wait, did I just create duality because I was worried about how unlimited I was and I needed to rein myself in?" I felt like God was a wild gorilla, and duality was the cage. Then further I questioned "did I just create infinite love just to rein myself in"? Because its 10000% clear to me that infinite love isnt final. Then I came down from the trip. And reflected on what happened and went wait, what the fuck? I failed to get takeaways for that one, I need to do more trips.

@Leo Gura What about when he shot that alien dude in the bar? He seems very action-oriented to me and like he's able to utilize Red aspects to get out of trouble, and use his courage, warrior spirit, and audacity; like he did in this video with Jabba.. Jabba had him surrounded but he acted so cool and like he didn't care at all. Like fighting, escaping and out-flying others. It's like that Indiana Jones type of adventurous warrior spirit... lots of action, daring, fighting, etc. Not too well thought out... Would you not say those are healthy aspects of Red being put to use?

Go into details. Describe the process. How does resting happen? How do you know when you are having insomnia? What are you begging for when you haven't slept last night and have to wake up early? That's a problem for language and not for reality itself. Reality doesn't care about the errors in our mind's pathetic software "oh non existence does not exist because it's linguistically a contradiction". We all have an idea what deep sleep is.. Ofcourse the idea itself is not the actuality of but we all been asleep before.. So the question is not present. If you are a normal human being who goes to sleep every night and not some weird caffeine alien you shouldn't have a single doubt about this question. But as I said.. The mind likes to over-complicate stuff.

What if an alien reincarnates into a human or an animal? I rarely hear about future beings reincarnate into past beings.

I think I've always been contrary. My mum's instinctual reaction to everything is: "No". My dad's instinctual reaction is: "I know better than you". Just mix together and shake. I suppose I do at least realise I'm like this and this keeps me on the level, and I usually know when I need to concede. One great benefit of being a contrarian is it has allowed me to get a handle on this business of going meta. By going meta I mean seeing a thing from a larger or different perspective. Most people are surprisingly bad at it, this way of thinking is completely alien to them. It's instructive to list some of the ways of going meta, so that you can see how the process works. The names and descriptions are my own (what else?). Reflection The way this works is to apply the observation in reverse. Say you perceive that you're a people pleaser, but you're unhappy because you have to deprecate yourself in order to please others. Applying reflection you would offer: why not please yourself, are you not deserving of it too? Say you are having a problem with a bullying manager at work. With reflection you would ask: have you ever bullied anybody? Or: does you manager also get bullied? It's also useful for shifting perspective from outside to inside. For example, you experience that you are a victim of circumstance and you can't make friends, this makes you depressed. With reflection you would ask: what is this depression like, what are the characteristics of it? You are shifting the focus of attention from external causes to internal causes. Expansion This is seeing the bigger picture. You are unhappy because you are not having fun and meeting new people. With expansion you would ask: what could you do that would allow you to meet more people? Or, how could you have fun without meeting new people? Even better: what do you think you are learning about yourself? Another. Your parent has always been a very negative person and it gets you down. You might ask: what in their past has caused them to be like this? Is there a reason you hadn't considered for their negativity? You are running a business with a partner, except things have turned sour between you. He has all your stock worth thousands on his premises abroad - he won't give you access. With expansion you would ask: are you prepared to give up on your stock to make a clean break? Contraction This is narrowing things down so that they're more manageable. You are running a business, but all your stock has been stolen, Covid is killing your orders, and you've recently being diagnosed with cancer. With contraction you would ask: which thing is the most important to concentrate on first? You have to study for an exam, but there are too many things to cover in too little time. With contraction you would ask: which topics are essential to know? Lateral This taking a different angle or perspective on something. The local traffic in your neighbourhood is high and slow moving and causing increased rates of breathing problems. One lateral solution might be to increase traffic flow, so cars spend less time in your neighbourhood. You could close off side roads or move pedestrian crossings or relocate shops that cause traffic to back up. You are having trouble meditating and just can't seem to make time for it. You could see if you could meditate differently, maybe on your commute to work, or by taking a walk during lunch times. Or even asking if there are more effective ways than meditation (although that could be Expansion). You are trying to learn a new language, but finding it difficult to remember words. You might try: find words which are similar to English and have similar meanings. Or try and listen to music in the target language. Or even full immersion by living in the country for six months.

Then what's limiting you to cure your own illness or transform yourself into an alien?

How about playing around with neutrality? Notice, in your post above, you are splitting the world into duality and moralization: happy = good smiling = good joy = good creativity = good flowers = good creativity = good dark = bad suffering = bad depressing = bad problem = bad crying = bad alien = bad

Hey guys, I know this will sound crazy, so before you stop reading or think im bs you, try to consider it for a second. Im not joking. During the past month, things have started to dissapear out of nowhere in my house. Some examples are my favourite necklae. Nothing has ever been lost from my garments chest. Then the charger cable of my wireless Headphones disappeared. I saw it that same day it dissapeared out of nowhere. Then my piano notebook notes. And the most fuck up thing happened. I left 2 burritos in my oven yesterday to eat them at night. When I went to look for them they dissapeared. This last event is what has made me think there's something strange going on here. My mind cant believe its paranormal, cuz is too strange. My only conclusions are, theres either some alien around going invisible or using psychic abilities or a troll trolling me around. I dont know if it could be some type of message. The most curious stuff is that the lost things are things I like. It feels like pinching my ego. But im just supposing, I have no idea nor knowledge about this stuff. Its actually becoming a little bit frustrating to loose this stuff and have no idea where the fck it might be & how it disappeared.

Recognize that "depersonalization" is a term that stems from the paradigm of western psychology that tries to fit everything into a description of pathology. If we were to give that description any merit, some people who awaken tend to react were negatively to it and want to repress it, and this impedes the natural blissful unfoldment that is otherwise characteristic of an awakening. In that case, when the otherwise natural state feels alien, intrusive and threatening, you could call it a pathology along the lines of depersonalization. However, many people also argue that they're two diametrically opposed phenomenas that should not be conflated with eachother.

Logically understanding everyone and everything is me forever and always.... There is nothing to hate. In fact i look at the world and i see insane beauty,creativity joy. Every sound,every image makes me happy if i think about it. My first mushroom trip i was smiling because i was touching the flowers and saying i created you. I felt so much love. Yet my other trips were so dark and depressing. I think thats the real problem. Feeling like an alien in the world results in suffering. Recognizing its you and unconditionally loving everything is the solution i think.(crying as i write this)

@Sam Alexander Your meditation practice is cutting the false barrier between yourself and actuality. The mind creates a foggy cloud that stops the mind from observing actuality concisely. Your discernment is being sharpened to a point where reality is becoming mildly disturbing. You are becoming aware of emptiness how alien-like infinite intelligence seems. You’re realising how alone God is. God literally creates false egos to experience being not alone. It’s not absolutely insane.

You are whatever you are at the moment. The fragmented parts you're talking about are not fragmented from the God's point of view. God does not suffer from split personality and it is not some alien void that pervades all of space and moves the human avatars like puppets. When God realizes itself, it becomes the moment and starts to consciously create.

@Erick On March 26, 1997, police discovered the bodies of 39 members of the Heaven’s Gate religious group who had committed mass suicide in order to reach what they believed was an alien space craft following Comet Hale–Bopp. All members were dressed in dark clothing and Nike sneakers. https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7781c72ee667fd7c818b31e28b40913b If you know what i mean lol Maybe they astral-projected and made it...