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About SonataAllegro

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  1. I am in a similar position. I want to become world class at music, but have had to let go of the hopes that it would become my career. And I also work at a grocery store (Trader Joe's -- what store you are at?) First off,, I think life as a professional musician could be a miserable rat race in itself. And second, the amount of time it will take to get to that level means I wouldn't ripen as a musician until my 40s. Especially since the foundation of my music work is consciousness and spiritual development, and because I need a 9-5 to make a living, at least for now, which takes up a ton of time. You clearly want to become an excellent chess player, so you absolutely need to keep it in your life. You can find joy in teaching it, but staking your financial success on beating out grand masters is nothing short of self sabotage. Imagine how much joy you could get from being an excellent chess player but NOT having your career at stake every time you lose a match? Bottom line: "hobby" does not imply you're forever an amateur. You can become professional level for the pure love of the mastery process, all the while letting something else you're good at pay the bills. If your situation is like mine, you've become suicidally depressed over the fact that your life purpose is unlikely to be a viable career. This turned right around for me and I started finding immense joy from my day job when I realized that music can be more of a spiritual discipline and a personal challenge. There is no shame, no "you didn't make it", and no dearth of passion in deciding that chess plays a different role in your life than does your career. Best wishes!
  2. You are not stupid, you are suffering. Continue to not contact your family and do one small positive thing per day for your well-being till it snowballs. Don’t worry about your rommmate, thinking about what she thinks of you is gonna turn into a negative spiral. Break the ice and meet her, perhaps even tell her your going through some stuff so she’s not worried. Your parents are the cause of this, as you clearly state. Don’t contact them, you made the right choice. Therapy should be grounding as well if it’s consistent. Also avoid any psychoactive substances. Best of luck!
  3. It can increase tremendous amounts. Living in purpose is living in love, and consciousness is love. Love discloses its own nature to itself as you walk the path toward alignment with it.
  4. You DON'T Trust me, I've tried with so many open minded, stage yellow people, and it won't work. Not only is Leo's teaching not fully developed by his own admittance, given this apology, but you are going to drive yourself INSANE trying to convince anyone who does not see the value of this work that it's valuable. Don't try.
  5. An insight I’m arriving at myself. I’d include sexuality and social connection in that category.
  6. Plot twist @Leo Gura invented chat-GPT
  7. I find there is a metaphysically-embodied mathematical nature to consciousness, but it is wayyyy too complex for my brain to understand. It's more like a combination of music and math, which flies by me in seconds during an awakening and leaves before I have time to think about it.
  8. Starting off the chain with this incredible channel I recently discovered. Go check it out, they have 4 full length documentaries like this!
  9. I have a similar issue in my own long term project, which is similar to your book but in musical form: how do we know that we are getting truly the deepest insights and most comprehensive scope? I'm curious how you've dealt with the fact that you will reach a limit somewhere (number of pages you can write, time you have to write, depth of insight to explore, possibility that deeper insight invalidates the material you've already written) and how you plan on making sure the book or other projects you have planned get finished with a reasonable balance of the ideal and these practical limitations in mind?
  10. From this I can tell you are stuck in a limerence fantasy. I've been there myself. Smiling at each other is absolutely NO indication that she's attracted to you. The reality is she may not even remember who you are. Girls are not attracted to a guy just for smiling at her. You have to talk to her, get her number, ask to get coffee. I want to save you from weeks more of fantasy and pain and tell you to act now or move on. Don't be afraid that making your desires known would scare her off before you even introduce yourself.
  11. And now we see why Leo is in the position he is in today. Fascinating.
  12. Field is better than bubble IMO but what's even better than that is that it's a point - something with no size, no dimensions, no location - bubble and field suggest dimensionality and that doesn't account for the imaginary quality of depth.
  13. @Leo Gura what happens if I'm so conscious right now that you are me that you saying that you're the only one awake means literally nothing to me? Oneness is so potent for me these days that it makes zero sense to call anything enlightenment, god, consciousness, whatever - it's so solipsistic and self embracing and there's nothing outside of it for these terms to mean anything, it just is is is is is is is is is is is. I understand what you're saying by "enlightenment" being an imaginary dream. You are wayyy further ahead in this work, I'm not saying I've reached the end and I've certainly not yet turned into an alien mouse but what am I supposed to do I do with the information that you're giving here if I'm conscious that it's me saying it to myself? Like what's the point of saying it. You're pointing to something both so subtle and so obvious that you shouldn't even talk about it before you release your course. And even in that you will FAIL to capture the nuance required. Meanwhile your lack of nuance and makes people assume you're a narcissist.
  14. Hamza is a bit toxic but the advice still stands and is really the same thing Leo talks about: stop focusing on getting pussy and start living your life purpose. This is actually what makes you more attractive. You don't need to be cold and avoidant though, that would be taking it too far. Also how did that opener go for you
  15. She asked what the hypothesis to this work/research is. Not with regards to Actualized specifically but to truth seeking in general. What would you have said/left out? "Its the type of research where the findings can’t be explained in an empirical/scientific sense. Think of your deepest trips/spiritual experiences. Say you encountered God - the oneness between you and all of reality and the collapse of the duality of life and death - how would even begin to report that or publish it as research to a community that believes that empirical science is the only reliable source of truth? How would you describe it to anyone who hadn’t had their own direct experience of it? You’d find pushback and disregard from almost any human truth-seeking organization. It’s that obscure. There can’t be a hypothesis to the research because the nature of the inquiry is exploring the depth of your own ignorance. That is, nothing can be taken for granted. Hypothesis is a Western Aristotelian ideal where we work from guesstimates of the truth based on what we culturally accept as “a priori” knowledge. But here, we work from NOTHING. Meaning, you can’t assume that any “common knowledge” is true. Not even the assumption that you’re a human. Or that you exist at all. Because the truth is that you DON’T KNOW. And yet your whole life is based on the assumption that you DO know. Don’t think about all this too much if you don’t want to. Just know that this is the kind of inquiry I do. And I will do it till I die in a safe and responsible manner. In the end, what I’m looking out for is 1) being scammed and 2) being brainwashed. I have years of training in how to avoid the latter, and the former is a matter of not sending anyone money. I’m aware of the shadiness of so many spiritual groups and I’m going into this open to the possibility that they could be not who they say they are. And I appreciate your skepticism."