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About tsuki

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  • Birthday 04/16/1989

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  1. https://bigfive-test.com/result/60fd3b5c70bbad0007136dbf
  2. Excuse the sarcasm and irony (his name is literally Green), this is the rundown of what can happen to us.
  3. I recently started drinking matcha and I love it as a coffee substitute. When it comes to flavor, consistency and texture, I find it to be an acceptable replacement. It tastes like tea with a grassy smell, but it is way thicker than the one you buy in bags. It's as thick as coffee and you can have a small ritual to make it as well. As a bonus, it goes well with milk (which I don't use, but my wife loves it).
  4. Is going for women like this a pattern in your love life? This is not a sign of her being attracted to you. Why did you choose to pursue her? I think it's way simpler than you make it out to be. You put yourself out there, your genuine self, and see how people react. The ones that react positively are open. The ones that give you a cold shoulder - aren't. It's not like you can "win a person over", against their feelings - especially women, and especially women that are older than you are. From the story you presented, it seems like you decided that she is going to be yours. Women are not prizes - not unless they want to be, by showing you that they are open. Just a general remark on limitation: you are not going to experience the limitations of pickup, from within pickup. Its limitations will only become apparent if you find something else that works.
  5. Most women just wanna live life and have fun. The goal-centric view that dissects life into categories such as truth an spirituality is of little concern to them. It is very masculine.
  6. Yeah, maybe. Maybe women pick up on that and they are afraid to commit? Knowing yourself is not a matter of intellectually inventing a perfect self, but rather of reverse-engineering it from what feels good to you so that you can present yourself with integrity. How well do you fare on that front?
  7. @Preety_India The problem with love in relationships is that we are only able to recognize love that we were given. Our primary love-givers were our parents. It would be all nice and dandy if they were perfect, but they aren't and we conflate lots of things that are actually hurtful. Still, real fulfillment in the domain of relationships comes from actual love, not its imitations. You may be genuinely convinced that the partner loves you, or that you love him, and yet - you may be hurting each other. So, the first step is to look within about what we think love is, how our parents loved us and see if it is really true love. As for the practical side of things, I learned that there are three components to relationships: commitment, intimacy and passion. Apart from personal sovereignty, commitment is the ground. It boils down to simultaneous decision of both lovers to provide whatever the other one needs from us, and the trust that the partner wants to provide for us. Acting on this decision is love. Then, there is intimacy, which is genuine interest in the truth of the other person, their needs, desires, history, habits, body, emotions, intellect, etc. The truth from their perspective. Acting on this interest is love. The third area is passion. This is the longing for closeness with the other, openness and hope for the shared future, and seeing the best in them. Building this feeling is love. Any action that diminish abovementioned areas is not love and should be dropped if the relationship is to be sustained.
  8. The mistake seems to be a belief that you can create a relationship with any random person if you are developed enough. So, you take rejections as a sign of being flawed, or underdeveloped. The last thing you wanna do is to end up in a relationship where you want to pretend to be someone else, in order to sustain it. The women that reject you for not being compatible are giving you a favor. Keep looking until both of you are satisfied. There definitely is a person that is compatible with you out there. That being said, finding the compatible partner is the easiest part, it only goes uphill from there. Yet, I think it's worth it.
  9. What appears as a contradiction on the individual level, is complementation when considered at the relationship level. All for the purpose of mutual growth and maturation.
  10. @Preety_India I think it's nice that you share your thoughts that exceed the usual whiny male mindset. I don't think it's necessary for you to defend them from people that want to argue. Too bad that we don't get to provide a similar taxonomy for kinds of partners that work. If they works we only get to experience one exemplar.
  11. @Preety_India Relationships are about exchanging value. Commitment is when apart from having your needs, you are willing to fulfill the needs of your partner. The trick is that both parties have to understand this and simultaneously agree to act on this understanding. If either end stops needing, or giving, it breaks apart. Your categorization can be simplified using these two dimensions of needing and giving. Nevertheless, I think it is pretty accurate.
  12. @WelcometoReality No, it was the context in which I asked the questions about limitation. I am still in the process of integrating this. I think that it was a step in the right direction. For the longest time I was unable to act intelligently in response to this disease, and I find the diagnosis to be a kind of relief. Before, I was feeling helpless and thinking that it was unknowable. Like I said, I am still integrating.
  13. @Nahm I think that I understand where I got lost. I was asking questions about experience in general, which is a concept. This is where I got lost in abstractions and asking thoughts about thoughts. My original inquiry about particular kinds of experience felt good and and inspiring, while that road was confusing, maddening and painful. Glad that I got that one straightened out. This rabbit hole taught me to articulate something that I couldn't articulate properly for a long time. The highly capable intellect, by itself, is obviously neither helpful, nor does it equal intelligence. While it gives more capability to articulate the answers clearly, it also presents more opportunities to ask unhelpful questions. So, at best - it just gives more responsibility. Thank you all, especially @The0Self and @ZzzleepingBear .
  14. Roses are red, The sky is blue, I don't know colors, But neither do you. (My best shot at poetry, since we've entered the arts department) Anyways, I'm still pondering the clue about not asking questions about things I have no experience of.
  15. I feel that this is the missing puzzle. I will ponder this some more.