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I'm going to address the topic of 'awakening as awareness' as the 'ultimate goal'. Aside from the fact that the idea of an 'goal' is a self interested motivation, which doesn't mean it's bad or wrong, it's just that what it is. Eating is a self interest motivated goal, there are plenty of 'goals' that fall into this variety of pursuits. An 'ultimate goal' I'm going to surmise is one of ultimate importance, or a supreme pursuit. As far as 'awakening as awareness' as an ultimate one that is a matter of interpretation or preference, there is no authority to anoint it as such. That this 'no-self' just 'awakening to awareness' conceptual paradigm being anything other than your own perspective and preference isn't substantiated as any absolute truth. As someone who has explored this in my own experience I can attest there's nothing more 'absolute truth' about it, it's an imaginary concept. Even if there is perspective to be had in this imaginary paradigm of consciousness in reality it is also can serve as a denial of what is at all levels of experience. Just because one has a view from this perspective doesn't mean it is the absolute truth and the physical doesn't exist or isn't real. An acceptance of all experience in physical, emotional, intellectual and consciousness is the holistic approach even if one chooses to form their paradigm of beliefs from a portion of this experience or from all of it. A one-ness perspective wouldn't deny or dismiss any part of the whole since it is all one. Also, things like happiness, peace, fulfillment, bliss, joy or any of these types of descriptions of something we would experience are byproducts of our inner life. They result from the environment of our inner life and may not necessarily be in accordance to the circumstance of our outer life. Liberation is the cessation of self suffering and those things like peace, joy and bliss are an expression of liberation. In my experience anything that doesn't contribute to this presence of being can serve to be a distraction from it. Something to consider.

@Beginner Mind Sure. I’m just not a fan of bypassing. Seems that when we do, that ‘same old problem’ just comes around again. I favor deeper lasting wakefulness & bliss, and the creating of the life one most genuinely wants. I’d go so far as to say anything less is bypassing...which is fine too.

The problem with "any non-psychedelics spiritual practice" is that you think you are accomplishing something when in fact you are most probably not (unless you do it 24/7 but good luck with that). And NO, you don't need any practice to handle high doses psychedelics (which is what you need, lower doses only give you a relatively little taste of the real deal), at the right/high doses you have no control over anything, you are like an ant in the hands of a giant t-rex (or God after the bad trip eventually switches to bliss). All sources in my signature.

Mood: love. Love. And some more passion im journaling: 1) I have to shoot my self into this place of becoming my thoughts to talk to you. I can't leave the identity of thoughts which makes me but a thought and nothing at the same time. To talk to you I have to believe in. Thoughts. I have to have my world view. I have to have my understandings, values and belifes. 2) just be 3) I'm now going to identify with a thought. Earlier today, I studdly started becoming more aware and I just stoped doing my work. I blanked out. This girl was trying to comfort me and asking me "what's the matter" I felt amazing, but she thought I was suffering. I saw unconditional love rise inside me a little later and right when my eyes started watering from all the love someone grabbed my shoulders asking for help on some work. I was so attached to my work. Then I realized it all doesn't matter. Nothing matters. It's all perfect. No need to do anything. Just be. Enjoy the beautiful life that is right in front of us. I didn't want to work. I didn't want to do any of it. I wanted to just bliss out on these feelings. I wanted to leave and go home. I've done it before. I've left and really did the minimum I had to do for a few months. Then my consciousness lowered and I started doing it all again. Now that my consciousness is rising I see the pointlessness in doing it. It's already perfect. We can create reason, but that's just more thoughts someone's identifying with. Anyway, I stuck it out and just did everything I needed to do. I then did something I wasn't supposed to do by some made up standards people have identified with. I felt shame and guilt in my stomach. I didn't understand why. I know better, but I still felt them. I just watched it. 4) j noticed that the girl I used to love was thought of when I started to feel unconditional love. I'm thinking that it may have had to do with some past experiences. In the past I've often been talking to her when I suddenly was bitch slapped by love. I would just see the beautiful reality that was always here. I was just blind to it. I am noticing my awareness leave me as I stoped questioning thoughts, my existence and all that stuff. So I'll leave it for today.

I do not feel good. How do i feel better? Thoughts and emotion. I am relaxed I feel bliss through my body, i do not feel bliss through my body I am challenger in league of legends I run a website that makes 1 million dollars per year I am happy I love league of legends I am improving rapidly I enjoy playing the game I want to feel good What does it mean to feel good? I want energy I have energy I want my third eye to open I have my third eye opened I want my crown charka opened I have my chakra All the chakras are open I am jelous of everyone ahead of me on the path. This is fucking bull shit. WHy the fucl are these fking guys allowed to be enlightened. Fucking idiots aren't better than me why the fuck are they enlightened and i'm not. What the fuck. FUCKING IDIOTS i can't believe these fking fools are better than me at league. I am so fucking jelous of their fucking skill, how the fuck are they better than me. I am fucking better than them this fucking bull shit. I am better than everyone wtf. Fuck everyone. Fucking idiots, people are so fking stupid. If everyone had their fking shit together we would livein a better place and i'd already be enlightened Fucking fools everywhere don't know what fuck they are doing. Fuck them and efuck ereoone. I'll fking fix this shit, fucking fools. Fuck, mother fucker, fuck, idiots, cu**, fuck, bitch fuck.. lkdjfklajfkldajlfkdjlkfjdaklfjdklajflkadjflkdajfadjflkdajflkdjlkfjalfjdaklfjdaklj I am fucking pissed. I am fucking angry. I'm going to fucking kill someone, I'm going to fucking rip someone's thorat out . Mother fuckers everywhere, everyone pisses me the fuck off. Fucking fools eerywhere walking around, man i wish we were in the med evil times i'd be fucking killing people all the time, moter fuckers everywhere. I want to express anger and rage so I can move up the emotional scale. I HATE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS. ALL MY FUCKING IDIOTS TEAMATES THEY FUCKING PISS ME OFF. FUCKING TRASH CANS ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING MISTAKES FUCKING IDIOTS, I'M SO FUCKIGN ANGRY. FUCK ALL MY IDIOT FUCKING TEAMMATES, AND FUCK ME FOR GETTING BAD. I'M A FUCKING FOOL, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DONG. WHY DO I LET MYSELF GET MAD WTF IS THIS FUCKING BULL SHIT. I'M FUCKING PISSED. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW HFAOFHODHFDIAHFOIDFAIOHFIOADIHFDOIHFAIODHFDIFDIOHOI FUCK I WANT TO FUCKING DESTORY SOMETHING FUCK. I WILL FUCKING SHOW EVERYONE. EVERY FUCKING IDIOT WHO DOUBTED ME I WILL FUCKING SHOW THEM. I LOVE THE HATERS. BRING ON THE FUCING HATERS LETS FUCKING GO. ALL YOU FUCKING FOOLS WHO DOUBT ME I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU FUCKING IDIOTS WHATS UP. JUST FUCKING WAIT. ALL THESE FUCKING IDIOT LEAGUE PROS WITH HUGE EGOS, OH FUCKING BABY I CANNOT WAIT TO FUCKING RIP THEM APART. I'M GOING TO FUCKING BREAK THEM ALL MENTALLY. I'M ITO FUCKING DOMINATE ALL THESE FUCKING CLOWNS, FUCKING RETARD IDIOTS I'M GOING TO SMASH THEM ALL FUCK. FUCK THEM AND FUCK ME. I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER ALL THE FUCKING LEAGUE PROS CUZ THEY ARE FKING IDIOTS. FUCKING VERMON. DOES THIS SELF ACTUALIZATION EVEN STUFF EVEN FUCKING WORK, LIKE WTF. I WANT FUCKING BLISS. I WANT FUCKING LOVE. WHERE'S MY FUCKING LOVE. WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL HERE TO GET SOME FUCKING LOVE. WTF IS THIS FUCKING BULL SHIT. IDIOT GOD, WHY WOULD YOU CREATE THE WORLD LIK E THIS. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT GOD IS, GOD DAMM WHAT A FUCKING RETARD. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS IDIOT THINKING WHEN HE MADE THE WORLD. WHY DO IT LIKE THIS, WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. FUCK YOU GOD YOU FKING IDIOT. MAN ALL THESE FKING IDIOTS LIMIT. ME IDIOT FUCKING PARENTS, BUT THE BIGGEST FKING IDIOT IS GOD. GOD U FKING FOOL, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU FKING CLOWN. I FKING BLAME GOD FOR EVERYTHING CUZ HE'S FKING RESPONSIBLE, HE'S FKING GOD. WHAT THE FUCK GOD, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. FUCKING IDIOT. FUCKING FIX THESE PROBLEMS FOR ME, YOU FKING FOOL. FKING IDIOT GOD NOT HELPING ME OR ANYONE WHAT A FKING IDIOT THIS FKING GOD GUY IS. WHAT A FKING JOKE OF A GOD. FKING FOOL. WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME BETTER, YOU FKING IDIOT. WHY NOT FKING HELP ME WITH LEAGUE YOU FKING FOOL, I BLAME YOU FOR ME BEING FKING TRASH WHAT A FKING JOKE. FKING IDIOT GOD HELP ME GET INTO FLOW STATES. I WANT FKING FLOW WHEN I PLAY BUT YOU WON'T HELP ME BECAUSE YOU ARE A FKING IDIOT. FUCKING RETARDED GOD DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO HELP ME, FKING ALL POWERFUL BULL SHIT MOTHER FKER GOD DOESN'T FKING KNOW SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING WHAT A FKING FOOL GOD IS. I AM REALLY WORREID THAT GOD WON'T FKING HELP ME. I AM REALLY WORRIED THAT THIS SHIT DOESN'T WORK. I JUST WANT IT TO FKING WORK. I JUST WANT TO FEEL AMAZING THAT'S WHAT I FKING WANT. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE HEAVEN ON EARTH. I WANT HEAVEN. I WANT HAVEN, BUT WHERE IS IT. WILL I GET HEAVEN TODAY? WHERE IS HEAVEN? I AM WORRIED THAT I WILL NOT FIND HEAVEN TODAY, BUT NOW IS ALL THERE EVER IS SO IF IT'S NOT HERE THEN WHERE IS IT. WHERE IS FKING HEAVEN GOD? I'M FKING HERE WAITING, WHERE IS FKING HEAVEN YOU FKING IDIOT. I AM WORRIED THAT I WILL NOT FIND HEAVEN, WHERE THE FUCK IS HEAVEN YOU FKING IDIOT GOD. I AM FKING DISSAPOINTED WITH WHAT I'M SEEING HERE. I AM FKING DISSAPOINTED IN MY FKING EXISTENCE YOU FKING IDIOT GOD. WTF IS THIS BULL SHIT. I AM NOT CHALLENGER YET IN LEAGUE, I'M NOT DIMINATING EVERY GAME I'M NOT IN THE FKING ZONE WHEN I PLAY. WHAT THE FUCK, I'M SO DISSAPOINTED IN WHAT I'M SEE. I AM DISSAPOINTED INMYSELF. MYSELF NEEDS TO STEP IT UP, I'M SO FUCKING DISSAPOINTED WITH MYSELF LIKE WTF. ALL THIS FKING BULL SHIT IS OVERWHELMING. I WANT TO FEEL AMAZING. FKING IDIOT GOD HELP ME FEEL AMAZING. BUT YOU DON'T DO SHIT. I LOVE MYSELF. I HAVE COMPASSION FOR MYSELF. I APPRECIATE MYSELF. THANK YOU FOR THIS LIFE. THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY THE GAME I LOVE. JUST SITTING HERE WANTING TO FEEL AMAZING SO I CAN PLAY LEAGUE. I DON'T NEED TO FEEL AMAZING BEFORE I PLAY, BUT I WANT TO FEEL AMAZING. FEELING AMAZING IS FEELING AMAZING, WHO WOULDN'T WANT IT.

It's not meant for you or me or anyone who wants family, romance etc etc. It was designed for those gurus who sat alone meditating in the mountains and who wanted to live like a hermit away from cultural bondage. You need to account for the context here. They are not modern day motivational speakers with wife and family and a flying career. These were ancient hermits who lived and favored a particular lifestyle for themselves and their descendents It was a school and system that they followed very much like the rules or teachings of a catholic institution. You only have to apply nuggets that personally appeal and bring a progressive transformation in your life. Rest you need to ignore because it's not applicable to you but it was applicable to them in their time A lot of the eastern teaching of being away from society makes sense to Eastern people since back then (and even now but not often) societies were extremely oppressive and granted no freedom for spiritual exploration or even personal occupation of choice because of a rigid hierarchy. Hence running away from social burdens made absolute sense in terms of freedom and bliss

@Keyhole Yeah they CAN be distractions, but post-awakening life is literally meant to be enjoyed and embraced as it is. I know that relationships can be distractions on the path when you're a seeker, I considered this many times. If you don't think there's integration, then I'm sorry that's just incorrect, integrating awakenings is key. For example, Integrating 'my' awakening to love, involved a lot of changes in how I relate and my own relationships, as you literally know people are You, and operate simply from a place of love. Also, I used age to indicate the other guys' responses, as they were quite childish. Can you please explain what age has to do within my context? It's not like there's an age barrier to awakening, or realizing your own being. I am merely talking from direct experience of awakening to love, and the impacts it had and is having in my own life. Also, Distractions=The Path, if you can only live this understanding in a cave with no people around you then to me, that is not a complete understanding. True peace and happiness, is being at absolute peace and happiness, no matter the situation. I was like that for a while, I just wanted to sit in my room in bliss all the time, it is subtle denial of the 'world out there' instead of embracing this world as it truly is, here and now as The Buddha Planet itself. I'm also wondering about your own journey and awakenings if you don't mind sharing? Lastly, post-awakening what is there to distract you? Distract you from what? THIS is always it, here and now. But, I guess it's an individual thing like I said, not everyone wants or is ready for a relationship, it's like a must-have like our society makes out, it is simply about whether as an individual you wish to develop one, everyone is different.

Ayahuasca has helped me a lot. It's the only thing I have tried so far and it's cool. I get beautiful images in mind while tripping on it and I always get a sense of Bliss. Sometimes I cry on it.. This is how I feel on ayahuasca.

Ahhh. My awareness is shit! It’s so shit! I was looking at some old messages because now my life is not on the extreme happiness side and I saw how aware I was. I was so aware talking about things it triggered awareness inside of me. Now I’m sad. Like, throughout my day to day I am doing bullshit things to try and feel good. Why not just meditate or contemplate. Why Joseph? Why are you not enjoying life like before? Do you just get super happy and bliss out on life like before? No? What? You now sit down wishing for your old life back? Why? Why not just change it now. Meditation is key. Joseph just meditate and when you got a problem contentment that shit. Bring awareness on your problems and your life to make an amazing life. Clear the illusions. I used to be aware. I said things which I would not say now. I’m lonely as fuck. Today and yesterday I felt it. Before I could sit alone and laugh. I’m comparing myself to my old self. My life is honestly really great and I can do a lot. Just the lack of awareness. My goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. Meditation non stop. Contemplating nonstop. I gotta get back into those habits which increased my love and happiness levels. To a place where I can stay and do nothing and bliss out on life. My new goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. I’m done with low consciousness activities. I’m done. Edit: wow, just reading things I said from the past increase my awareness. I’m shocked by how much I knew! I’ve fallen. Ive become a fallen angel. Omg that is a perfect description. I’m a fallen angel trying to regain my holiness.

I agree with what zero said. Go through that list, which is great btw...but go through it with the fine tuning of nuance and phrase each line in good feeling. Example... “I do not judge others”. There’s very little feeling in a double negative like that. (Not + judge) So “I love others” feels better. Notice in feeling, that it does, feel better. Imagine the momentum of feeling which builds in doing this with each thought, as each one at a time thought, arises. Momentum reaches new places of nuance. Then, drop even the words which...don’t even feel good to begin with. Which feels better... “I am free of insecurity, guilty, shame, fear“.... or I am freedom. I am thriving. I am giving. I am loving. I am Love. You don’t have to have any curtains words in thoughts, so to speak. Clean that house out like Zelda Rubinstein. Then say, I haven’t even begun the purification yet, and be delighted by the notion of infinite feeling, continuing infinitely. In terms of psychology...the momentum begets squeaky clean purity. Utter emptiness. Nothing happening. The space of the entire universe - empty, vast, perfect stillness, perfect peace, bliss of the mind. In terms of feeling....M’F’n LOVE. Unabashed, unfettered by thought. I’m talking about FULL SEND Love - not a thing in it’s way. Resistance free, Infinite Reality, Actual, Love. If you need help with a trigger of release...watch The Trials of Gabriel Hernandez on Netflix. Don’t turn it off. Watch the whole thing. Notice any judgmental (feeling evasive) thought. Let it go, let love replenish the emptiness it leaves.

The relationship that I had last was like pure romantic love. I had been in love before but it never felt this way. It felt too strong, the craving was of a different kind. I couldn't live without. It was fantasy coming to life. It was all I wanted and to be in it was my goal!!! Fast forward a few months and I lost it. I still loved but the honeymoon phase was over, the fighting phase began, we started fighting like kids, over petty things. I felt guilty, he felt guilty. I reached my break point and I gave up. I caved in and broke up. My heart shattered like pieces of shard. The love was strong, the pain of heartache stronger. From my experience of love and pain, I can say this much that true unconditional romantic wonderful love is totally possible. It comes like a star, it's goes with the wind. If I have to pick one experience in my life as the most beautiful and profound I will say it was falling in love truly deeply and madly. It's not a narcissistic fantasy. It is not preoccupied with the fulfillment of the Self. In fact it's the furthest from self love or narcissism. Unconditional pure romantic love is an act of selflessness, an act of the highest virtue, an adventure that is unforgettable, a feeling undeniable. If I have to describe how true love feels like I will use Shakespeare's words Love is wisdom of the fool and folly of the wise. (not sure if Shakespeare said this though) I will call "falling in love" one of the greatest experiences of life, without which life is really just a bunch of colors on the canvas. But love is a beautiful mystery, a mystic fountain of Bliss and eternity. It's like madness but in a good way, like an elixir that you should taste at least once in your lifetime to give meaning to life.. But there is a problem. As is the case with anything else in life, love does not come without its fair share of struggles and disappointment. If you found love and never lost it, you are really the lucky master. If you found it and lost it, you're lucky enough to have found it at least, be glad for that. The reality of love is that we are not fully equipped for it. To love someone unconditionally is the most selfless act of charity and kindness. However human nature is a bit selfish.. And selfishness creeps in like a demon into a loving relationship and lovers drift apart. Love itself is not to be demonized, it's pure as water, white as snow. It's we the vehicle of love that fall short of its enormous expectations and struggles. Our compassion falls short, our weaknesses begin to seep in.. Blaming love would be like Fox and the Grapes. The blame should lie not on the shoulders of Love but on human nature that cannot sustain the divinity of love. When you try to measure the benefits of unconditional love, that's being a narcissist because they look for situational gains.. A true lover does not see what he can gain out of love.. But it is more about loving the other person than wanting their love to reach you. Of course there are expectations but real love does not seek expectations at least in the beginning. So you can't be asking for better grades for your children or better success rate because that's calculative. True love doesn't see outcome or maximum output. It goes on loving even when there is no gain. That's unconditional love. True love is like a godly thing. It's a glimpse into sainthood. The kind of love a mother has for her child. True love is deep and strong and doesn't come with conditions. It's a different experience . Your heart expands and you feel a sense of intense joy and peace and seek fulfillment in that person being happy. Now your remark on nature is a bit cherry picked. Because nature is both mysterious and diabolical. There are examples of animals like dogs who have died for their masters. That is also nature. You're only looking at the brutality of nature because that will easily suit your narrative. Do you know that Sam Harris once gave the example of ducks in a discussion about rape. And how rape was a observed in nature. The thing is one cannot justify actions by citing nature. Since there are examples of true unconditional love in nature as well unconditional love is not visible like murder. It cannot be displayed as an act other than in sacrifice. But there are tons of examples where pets give us unconditional love despite not feeding the pet or in a situation of distress the pet gives priority to the owner than it's own life. What would you say of that? Have you had it the other way round, where a human gave up his /her life for a pet? I highly doubt it but maybe rarely. Most cases are of animal cruelties and abandonment. This shows human nature and not animal nature. So be careful while citing examples of animals because some animals have shown greater humanity than humans. True unconditional love romantic or not romantic is extremely challenging to sustain. First of all, to even have such a love already feels heavy enough and then to carry it becomes very difficult because the more Empathy you become the more likely you are to attract a Narcissist. If you start loving people in the most selfless ways, people will brutally crush you and take advantage of you, that's why it's kinda anti-survival. But it's Heroism. Just because people are ruthless, one should not stop loving because only love can heal eventually. You in your post make unconditional romantic love look like a transaction which it is NOT. It's the furthest from that. If you really loved your child, you would have no problem sitting in that cubicle for hours and hours for your family. Because that's what people with unconditional love do. They struggle not only for themselves but also for those who they care about. It's a sacrificial love. There are no GAINS in unconditional love, in fact you might experience more loss than gain. But that's what it is. It's never meant to be a gainful transaction. It's about GIVING not SEEKING. That's why it hurts especially when you don't receive as much as you give. A mother who gives unconditional love to her child grieves when her child grows up and neglects her or abuses her because this is the same child she raised with unconditional love. With such love the pain is great. Because she has to love and forgive the child despite its evil behavior. But if a parent showed transactional love, they will sue the child for damages, take the child to court or get in revenge mode to get what they want. Because they don't care if the child is hurt, as long as it is tit for tat. A lot of people equate true love with foolishness. It might appear that way because you have to give up so much in the process that it becomes anti survival. So indeed it's not the wisest form of love. It's not survival smart. But it's divine or spiritual. Because it's selfless and beautiful. When you realize that you truly love someone, you wouldn't want anything from them, you wouldn't sit and calculate what your earnings were, that's like carrying a tally book for matching gains versus losses like updating a balance sheet. Transactional people always feel that true love is a misery and unfruitful. They look at it as futile, a waste of time, a deflection, a childish notion.. It takes an amount of soul searching and maturity to know what it feels like and to stop judging it and realize that it's not meant to fit into our paradigm of survival and living just because it is not perfectly tailored to our demands. It's never meant for our desires or gratification. It's otherwise. Judgement is always easy but to understand it is to accept and embrace it as a an act of difficulty and Heroism. Only strong people can truly love. Most people can't. And those who truly love will face ginormous challenges and possibly give up at some point because human weaknesses and flaws will take over. Yet even the smallest amount of unconditional love that you showed to some human being or animal is worth an entire lifetime. It's the best thing that came out from an entire period of ruthless rat race to gain, survive, calculate and succeed. Best of luck

What do I want: I want to be happy. What does it mean to be happy, what does a happy life look like? I am feeling really good I have incredible energy levels I have clarity of mind I am relaxed and calm, and I am in a peaceful and yet happy state. I am free of worry, insecurity, guilty, shame, fear I do think hopeful, happy, positive thoughts I am a challenger adc I am one of the best adc's in the world I do to try my best in every league game I do feel the same whether i win or lose in every game I am completely unattached to the outcomes of life. Win or lose I am happy I do not judging others I do not judging myself I am not harsh towards myself and others I view others and myself with compassion, love and understanding. I am done seeking a better state, i just feel better first so i don't have to seek My third eye is open completely My head dissolved into bliss. I feel free I feel unlimited I feel amazing I feel connected I am that which is prior to all experience I am myself, whoever or whatever I am I see reality as it is. I am the truth I am love I am feeling my best I am my best I am honest I express myself honestly I am just being I am the third eye opened I am the truth

Ok, i will try to explain the experience "towards" it and embodying more and more over time in short. There is a space in you which is conceptualized as enlightenment or in a certain context you could say there this is wrong because you are beyond spaces, states and words and therefore it leads you towards that "space" or "state". You are before words and before creation and blah, blah, blah... So in my direct experience what i am noticing as i am growing is that, chakras are actual energy points, there is such a thing as energy flowing trough you and upwards you when you do spiritual practices. My energies are becoming more dominant upstairs, in the upper head region, i feel like i have a heavy, vital chord of bliss attached to me, like i am plugged into an internet from top of my head. I feel intense peace, sielence and not wanting anything also, feeling more and more complete with my death, with my timed life in this body. I find easier to detach from things and accept reality as it is. (If you read my journal, you will see that i maybe the opposite is true, however if i turn my attention to that recognition, that renounciation, that decision of "ok now, lets drop everything, let everything come and go, just notice it and do nothing else, if you are distracted, notice and just relax, come back") This "space" has a very specific and hard to find for beginners spot where it unfolds, i don't even know if you have to look for it, its really subtle and hard to explain, however with continiouty of practice and desire of truth this spot becomes your second nature more and more for you, you can access ir faster, more intensly and for longer periods of time and gradualy your cognition changes towards the metaphysical, which again directly reinforces the change in your energy more and more. More and more you feel this is a dream for you, more and more ecstatic you will become. Also when i close my eyes, i see that very darkness being infinite sometimes and i can't even locate my body sometimes, i feel like my senses are failing me and i don't know how much space i am taking but this is rare, however it happens more and more frequently. I don't remember having big enlightenment experiences, however what i have is very accessible and reliable day to day even with my "problems". I don't know how reliable it is for psychedelics users but my thing is very reliable as i am always sober, and i clearly see the sophistication of my cognition and how life is acctually sentient and how minds influence lessens over time, but i took me a few years. Hope it helps, i don't know how you should take this tho.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think your asking me to inspect the metaphysical of reality, I am trying to do that in so far as I can, it is my belief that romantic love is a lie, I do see how I've wrote this off, why, because I can't explain our complete nature, its tough to do and I don't know anyone which has done it. I am aware that we have a biological imperative, you can call it what ever you want, you could even call it "awareness". I only used the lion to illustrate a point, I could of used the fact that a female praying mantis literally rips the fucking head of their mates when having sex. I actual believe though that the human is unique, uniquely shit, Schopenhauer talks in great depth about this, even in the video we're compared to moles, animals seem to be much more content with mere existence than we are, they have no concept of the future or the past therefore they have no concept of death, animals are in many way in an enviable condition. I know of no lions to create concentration camps and in mass genocide hippos, though I may be wrong, I haven't directly experienced it. Also I can talk about having children although myself have not having children, if not speaking from direct experience is delusion than we're all fucking delusion, the earths flat there is no such thing as science and no countries exist since I haven't been there. Also no offence taken Yeah I agree, what I'm talking about isn't unconditional love, but its what our culture venerates as unconditional love, that is what I'm attacking I was joking about the narcissistic fantasies, although they do say ignorance is bliss, but they also do say that the truth will set you free, I will keep inspecting, and I get that I'm the only person who can realize the truth, because I only have my frame of reference, remember that applies to you to

Sounds like an amazing mystical experience and a glimpse of becoming Infinity. It will open you up. You will cry and cry in bliss and it will feel very liberating. There will be Infinite Love that is too powerful frankly for the human body to contain . It may not have been a total non-dual state but nevertheless powerful. I remember after i became conscious of my true nature afterwards i called some people i needed to make ammends with and told them i loved them and put aside all pride and past grudges. In fact pride was non-existent. It was just pure love. Are you doing meditation practices? There are things during these awakenings that you can become directly conscious of but anyways happy you experienced this. It definitely sounds like it was beyond just being happy. And there is a huge difference between one of these mystical experiences and just feeling happy or emotional. There is a Kundalini energy component that becomes so total.

it is on us death is on us, like now, litteraly I can feel it, this is here, the purge is on us. Don't fear the bliss of love UNITE OR DIE GOD TOOK ME TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING I NEVER WANTED TO BELIEVE. I M NOT THE DOER OF THE SELF I M NOT THE THINKER NOTHING I CHOOSE IS MY CHOICE human race will pay by the debt of death DEATH IS ON US DEATH DEATH DEATH You can deny, deny, deny reality is above all denials. ONLY LIFE CAN SURPASS DEATH SAVE THE TRUE SELF KILL THE CANCER CELLS IF YOU DON T WAKE UP NOW, YOU'll LITTERALY DIE LEAVE THE CAGE

Everyone I love is not around me and at parties I didnt get invited to. Deep depression formed from feeling alone and loosing my friends and family and therefore my history. Decided to contemplate on what the sadness is. Long story short I became aware that my friends and family dont exist, their parties dont exist, and Im all Alone(with a capital A). This brought great joy because 1) no other can kill me and 2) I cannot loose other. And this is absolute. Absofuckenloooooot! Im here, the present moment, with nothing outside of me, nothing to kill me, no outer space to loose anything. And the best part of all I'm pure love and joy. Fuck yes what a nice state. I then realized that my sadness came from believing in a false notion of separation, which was caused purely by being sucked into a thought story outside the present moment. The present moment is literally all there is. What happened next was the the physical universe bent: trees bent, space bent. Simultaneously it went to darkness. The physical universe disappeared and all there was, was darkness. Then a pure white light came. With massive bliss, massive energy, massive love. I felt like my past was disappearing at a rate of knots, replaced with pure love. What in the actual fuck was that. Didn't even know the universe could disappear like that.

@JonasVE12 Because you depend on a substance to be / feel good. Making sure you are in a positive/feel good state all the time with the effective help of drugs, it's not a recipe for a good life, trust me. The difference is that when you are sober and you don't feel as good as you are high, you actually are very motivated to start building a life and grow yourself to "something" that makes you be/feel in a similar way that when you are high. However if you just take drugs, you are not building or developing yourself really. I could do the same with Kratom, for example, I used to love how relaxed it made me feel, and particularly how it gives you a perfect numbing from your emotions. You are basically able to do about almost everything but you don't feel emotional distress. Who wants emotional distress or dealing with emotions anyway? By that narrative "it should be obvious" that I should keep getting high. However I am lucid enough to see that if I do that strategy, I won't move myself to build a life and grow myself to be who I want to be . It just seems you are asking almost why we shouldn't do drugs everybody. You know Heroin actually is not quite bad for your body as long as is not very contiminated. Why not do it anyway? You can actually have a normal life while in the inside feeling bliss. Well because then your sober life has 0 interest and the only thing that makes sense for your brain is getting high. Not trying to compare weed with Heroin because the latter will ruin your life very shortly while with weed you can even have a happy life. I'm just pointing out the mechanics of justifying "why not been high all the time" are basically the same . With weed you are just saying too "well I'm going to keep using weed because definitely life is much easier and enjoyable in it". No shit. You just described drugs. But the price you'll pay is that you won't work on your sober-state life, a price that in my opinion is too high to justify being high.

@JonasVE12 Very nice lol. My goal is to be high all the time too. We are fucking gods. The high of enlightenment is the greatest high of all imo. We want to be our best, feel our best, and do our best in everything. Whatever gets us there is what gets us there. For me it was enlightenment. The trap is in seeking the high unconsciouslly. That's how you end up addicted to drugs on the street etc. But me a strategic mother fer going for the high and you will be all good. Bliss chasing is awesome, it's what i'm doing. Follow your bliss baby.

An interesting thing I came to realize after deciding to work on myself. I feel like video games and simulated realities of that nature are detrimental to the mind, because it's a distraction. It's ignorance. It's bliss for those in it because they don't have to look at themselves. Not only a distraction but there is negative programming behind it. An example is Grand Theft Auto.. it's a 2-D screen simulation of the real world. You can walk, drive, eat, kill, swim just like real life. Except in 2-D you can do shocking things. It's like an escape form, where you can express the sinister primal part of the mind without real world consequences (such as ramming a bunch of pedestrians in a stolen car) and is brainwashing those to be desensitized to this behavior in the mind. So when you sanctify yourself and awaken to yourself you start to gain control over your 3-D reality by using 4-D (energy) consciously. Things like meditation, sub-conscious programming, frequencies, manifestation, self awareness, etc. 4-D is like the language in which God speaks. God is 5-D. I very much hope I don't turn into Thomas Anderson What do you think about the future of the human race, based on the Ego's design and the collective Ego (society)?

@Zak Just a different perspective to consider...the value of practice, confidence, self assured ness, patience, mind expansion & understanding, the seeing through of nervousness / anxiety, single pointed concentration, no mind, flow state / disappearing in bliss, a body felt / known as love, freedom from psychological social conditioning, creativity, clarity in thought & communication, ease of expression, the recognition that Truth is everywhere, directly experiencing the vibrational nature of reality, discovering that if one can dream it one can experience it, etc...these were all realized by playing guitar & singing. Also, understanding passive income, automated processes, reinvestment, strategic thinking, flexibility & agility of thought, expanded strategizing, and I’d say the Joy of focus...mostly came from a video game. In hindsight, I’m so glad I didn’t judge these things.

I do not feel good. How do I know this is true. When i actually listen, and try to feel what it is that's here, there's a peace in the feeling it's not bad at all. That's interesting so when I actually question this core belief, that I don't feel good, and i actually test it against reality it turns out it's not true. Hmm, so it appears that the zone is always here. The zone is MYSELF. When i find myself, that's the zone. If i could just BEMYSELF in every moment, then I would be in the zone. Because MYSELF, is the best I can do. But there are concerns. MYSELF is peaceful, but myself isn't pure bliss and ectsasy that I thought I was getting. I believe that the high of god is better than any drug ever invented. MYSELF should be better than everything, but even in this moment I could imagine my life better. I could imagine better feeling etc. If you gave me 1 billion dollars then I would be happier I think, I mean i assume it would make me feel better. There's no such thing as a true thought. Bring all thoughts to light no matter how fked up they are, and you will see that even though you believe them to be true, the truth is that the thoughts are not true. The zone can be tested. So my theory right now is that the zone is MYSELF, and when i am aware of myself i will be in the zone. MYSELF can handle any challenge. MYSELF is challenger caliber in league of legends. Because if not MYSELF, then who is? And when is? The only time you can ever have anything is right now, with MYSELF, and only MYSELF, there is only ever MYSELF. I need to start dumping more of my thoughts onto a journal. This was an excellent purge holy fuck. I feel clearer in my writing already. Lol. I have may have stumbled on something major here wow.

I am in the zone- On the dream board: Working out resistant thoughts to being in the zone: I feel irritable, restless, anxious therefore I am not in the zone I am not sure if this strategy by Nahm is going to work. I'm still not clear on this stuff. This seems to simple to get me in the zone. There must be something else. Dam this is rough. I just want the zone, but the zone is not coming to me. Man i'm bored. I just want to be happy and feel good, and feel the flow and the bliss of being in the zone. I am content with the moment. It's not what i want, but it's also not a bad state. I really hope I can get in the zone. I hope i can be in the flow and totally focused while playing. I just want to have fun. I want to play the game, have fun, win or lose, and just enjoy the experience. That's what I WANT. to just enjoy the experience. i really hope i can get there with video games, where i just play the game and I have fun playing the game. I hope I can feel good while playing, that would be so awesome. I believe I can feel good while playing games. I really believe that I can achieve complete focus and flow while playing. Just playing, having fun, and trying my best. I can do it. I can try my best, win or lose, and just be happy no matter what playing the game. I believe I can do it. Pure joy, playing the game for the joy I get from playing, nothing else. I believe I can find my joy playing the game. I can't wait until my next game. I am going to be in the zone. I am going to try my best. I am going to just play. Win or lose. I just want to play the game. I'm going to mute my entire team and just play the game. That's what i want to just focus and play the game. I can do that. I can play, and when I recognize resistance I can just let that resistance go while playing. I can free myself one breathe at at ime while playing. I love playing. I'm so grateful I get to play video games for a living. Like i'm fucking practicing gaming, and thats my job lmao. I am going to make millions of dollars just playing the game, and writing my opinons about life. WHat a fucking joke lol. What an amazing life. I am so lucky to be here right now. Thank you god for making all this possible. Thank you world. Thank you universe. Holy fuck i get to play games and have incredible amounts of fun and joy just playing the game. Thats what my life is now. Just fucking play. Wow. Blows me away. Still kinda in disbelief about all of this stuff. Went from atheist to agnostic to dogmatic follower, now i found it. I found happiness woot woot. I can't wait to play the game. Gaming is awesome so much potentail for joy and love in gaming.

The truth is all good. So when we have any thought, perspective, etc that is not all good, like there's even 1% doubt in this perspective. Then we should let it go because the truth is that reality is all good, so when we choose something that's not all good then we know we fked up so it's time to pick another thought, find another way. @LfcCharlie4 thanks a lot. Yeah i want happiness, bliss is just the best i tasted so far so I thought that was the best thing to pursue. But i want to cut the shit. I just want to be happy. I've tasted it in moments in my life, now i want to live with it. I'm so thankful for my life purpose. I can't believe i'm going to make millions of dollars just playing games. I was fucking doing this anyways, I wuold play games like 10 plus hours per day but no one paid for me it. Now i'm getting paid doing something I would do free lmao, awakening is too fucking good. So overpowered in life. It's like I found a fucking cheat code to existence. @zeroISinfinity thanks man. I understand what you're saying i just gotta spend more time as MYSELF. i get dragged into thinking, distraction etc so often. But at least i found myself now so I know where happiness is. How long you think it will take me to be in god state for pro longed period, i really want that state for video games. Right now i get distracted too much. Is 1 hour of meditation enough you think? Just do that before i play?

@Raptorsin7 Awesome man, you're doing amazing! Just wanted to say, be careful not to demonize thinking. We don't need thoughts to live, as NAtural Pure Awareness takes care of everything, however, thoughts and the mind are merely tools to help us when we need them, like a latop! Do you want bliss? Or do you want absolute peace and happiness. Bliss will come, but bliss will pass, like how a trip passes, it could last years, however, what is 10000x better than any bliss or any high is the absolute happiness and peace that never leaves, why? Because it's our true nature, it is resting in the absolute. Congrats man, an LP where you get to play video games sounds awesome, you're a lucky guy