28 cm unbuffed

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About 28 cm unbuffed

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  • Birthday 02/10/1991

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  1. Fuck it, move on, the person that does that kind of nasty shit is not a good person and it will take him years to develop beyond that. Just leave.
  2. @Chumbimba Great stuff man! How did it happen? Was it like - you felt these old emotions, or you observed your thoughts and you recognized them as something else, that you thought they are? Nevertheless, great job dude, admitting these kinds of things to yourself (and on a forum) is something admirable.
  3. What is this need or should thing about?
  4. I just watched a video about a 5-MeO trip. Also - my intuition is telling me two things that I will have to experience in my near future are 1. bad trip and 2. my mother's death (which may be just metaphorical and in nature, it just means that a man is grown up and developed). I am terrified about having a bad trip, the last one, about 2 years ago I almost went crazy. I got into a loop and I couldn't go out, I was battling with myself, you get it, god vs god, etc. I also had a glimpse of enlightenment. That was 2 years ago and only now I am understanding that and what it was all about.
  5. I don't know about 5-MeO, this might be too much for me now, and I do not have access to that kind of stuff. I will start with Nahm, thank you for your advice.
  6. I have a dream board. I meditate 1 hour as the first thing in the morning. I want to be a cool, smart guy, living in New York with a smart, cool girl. I also am writing these 10 things, that you are mentioning, being grateful for things in the future. Yet, somehow, I still feel boreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed with all of that and I find myself not giving enough fucks.
  7. There is a thing. I remember talking to my friend, that is addicted to drugs, and he knows that. You can convince him in all the ways you want, but in the end, he will just say: "why the fuck not". And he knows about all of the negative influence that it does to his health. My question here is like that: I can already hear some of you talking: "If your dream is big enough, you will be able to say no to all of these "bad" things". The thing is - I'm in a similar spot, My mind is no longer my enemy, it gives me advice about not doing these things. Yet - I don't give a fuck in many cases and do these anyways. Why? I can't even dream of a bigger vision for my life. Is it because my goals are not palpable? Another approach to this topic is: remember where you came from and this should be your motivation. Yeah, but it has somehow backwards motivation effect on me because I am really fucking happy having nothing, after struggling with a lot of suffering and I do not need that much to be happy. How to motivate myself to push forward and do the stuff, that I should be doing? I need to defeat that final boss, final excuse named "Why the fuck not just stay like that?", "Why struggle, why work,"", etc.
  8. I understand it that way: God is this all-seeing eye, that just perceives that dream, which is everything, and our perception is a part of it, that this awareness perceives, I experienced it, I get it. I don't get this: If I am just a part of God's dream, why would I want to let go of control and let him dream whatever he wants? I get it - I am him, he wants the best for me, but really? When I dream at night, the dream is still me, because it's in my head, I get it. But I can dream about a girl murdering rabbits, or whatever, and what if I am just one of these rabbits for him? Just let go and experience the massacre? Let him do whatever he wants to do? Is there anything the character in a dream can choose or he is just a puppet, a part of an infinite, perfect dream, which includes fuckedupness too? If I would know, that the girl in a dream is me, I would never want her to suffer, which means - when I am aware of the fact, that the God's dream is me, that means, that when I let go, my dream will be just what I want, the perfect life, dream life?
  9. What video about solipsism do you mean? Leo's, Ralston's? I don't get this topic fully myself, can you elaborate on that somehow?
  10. I just started doing Wim Hof's course, there is a stretching exercise, connected with breathing, it works something like that: 1. You take a deep breath 2. You hold it for some time 3. You let it go and at the same time you try to push your stretch Wim describes it that way: air is being stored in your veins and then you block it for a while. After a couple of seconds - boom, tsunami, it goes all the way forward, and it's synchronized with your stretch, so it makes it easier.
  11. https://themindsjournal.com/intelligence-cant-find-happiness/ What do you guys think about it? Ignorance is bliss, etc. Also society brainwashing (f.e House M.D - "When I'm happy, I'm worse diagnostician"). I believed that. Now, after listening to Leo for a long time, I want to believe, that, the more intelligent you are, the happier you are. I wanted to be happy, so I dumbed myself down. I think I just realized that. I want to be smart, intelligent, brilliant, as I naturally am, but I don't want to sacrifice my happiness for that. Is it really one or another?
  12. You know when someone likes you and when he doesn't. If you really, really like someone, you are like almost in love with them, you just sense it in one second, if someone really likes you or he is just fucking around. You are really focused on a person that you like and there is no way not to see that. You had to be really fucking stupid not to notice that. That other person might be really smart and manipulative, but still, if that is your friend, why do you like him and spend time with him, if he is that way? It's not someone you're in love with to lose your mind and stop using your thinking. It's pretty simple from my point of view.
  13. @flume That's just a feeling, I just go with the flow without forcing anything, things are slower, more natural and results are there. About the second question - I don't even know if that's what I meant writing that. I want more adventure, purposeful life for me right now became really mundane, disciplined, that's a more productive and smarter way, for sure, but fuck me, that's so boring.
  14. I must say, I hoped for something more. It became mundane just after like a week. I feel like I chose the boring path and life will be boring until I die. But that's TAO, that's smarter, that's how life works, etc :>
  15. Hey, so... I did Leo's life purpose course, I did a lot of work, my daily routine and disciplines are pretty much perfect, I also do YouTube videos for my channel in which I am helping people, describing self-development concepts. Everythings should be fucking great, but it's not, I feel like having some kind of existential crisis, like the guy from American Beauty, you get it. The easiest way to describe this feeling is that I feel like House M.D. I am helping people, being a "good guy", sharing my knowledge and all of that good stuff. Yet, there is something wrong with me, I feel like. After all of the things I did, I still feel empty, somehow sad, dunno. House's vibe is the best description I've got. I'm 29 and I feel like I skipped a chapter in my life. I wanted to become a rapper when I was a teenager. Yeah, "I feel like I skipped a chapter in my life" is the best description, with a House's vibe attached. Not a cool feeling. Don't get me wrong, creating videos (in which I can be creative and have fun and create comedy at the same time) is great, but I feel that something's still missing and I have no idea what the hell is this thing. This strange feeling is also: "I wish I could make more mistakes, when I was younger and now I'm too smart and too old to do these". I am really exhausted, confused, and frustrated at the same time. I feel like - "I trusted you, God, I followed fucking Tao for so long, did so much fucked up things and hard work, and this is it? That's what I was fighting for and struggling for so long?". Great joke, I'm laughing my ass off. The fuuuuuuck PS. Also this: