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About ivory

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  1. I hear a lot of people wanting to know more about shadow work but I often wonder why. Shadow work is really, really confusing.
  2. I went through a phase where I'd work jobs for a short period of time and then move to a new city. I did that for 8 years or so. Now I find myself wanting to settle down and establish some roots. Learning a new city and making new friends can be really exhausting. Like you, I also crave lasting relationships. I love my alone time, but I don't find myself truly happy without a strong network of close friends.
  3. There are so many things I enjoy doing it's hard to make time for it all. When I'm not working I meditate, take music classes, go to the gym, and stretch out my body. I'm currently learning how to improve my social skills so I hang with friends and meet with a community a few times a week. It may sound like a lot, but I can only do it if I don't spend too much time on the internet or watching tv.
  4. One thing I noticed is that as life changes around you, it illuminates the qualities you need to work on. Life will challenge you. Fear and the difficulties you face show you the things you're supposed to lean into. Recently, I had to have a series of really difficult conversations with people. Setting boundaries and asserting yourself are stage red qualities that I still need to integrate. Am I over my fears? No, but I will be challenged again, and again until hopefully it sticks. We'll see what life presents me. On another note. I was predominantly in stage orange. Running around chasing one accomplishment over the next. I really wore myself out and after a realized that I still felt unfulfilled. Spiral dynamics made me realize that I needed to start focusing on adopting a more greenish value system. Now I spend a lot of time with friends and am learning how to connect with people on a deeper level. I'm also working on taking better care of my health. I feel so much more fulfilled now. I had essentially outgrown orange and needed to move into a different way of being. What I learned this past year is that you're to rise to the challenges that life presents you and don't shy away from the challenges that prevent you from getting what you want. However, if you feel deeply unfulfilled, you may need to re-evaluate your set of values like I had to do in moving from orange to green. In myself, I still see a number of qualities I need to integrate at the lower stages. I believe that I am a yellow thinker, though I don't claim to be tier 2. At red I need to work on assertiveness, at green I need to work connecting with people on a deeper level. The question I would pose you is where do you feel unfulfilled in your life, and what challenges are you currently facing? That should give you a clue as to what you need to work on presently. Don't worry so much about transcendence or reaching the next level. It's all about what's happening in your life now.
  5. @Yellow_Girl I see a number of similarities between you and I. I was encouraging you to stay because I believe you can bring value to this forum. You are still adjusting to a new way of being and it can be a bit isolating. For what it's worth, I just became a member at the local Zen center and joined a philosophy group. I need to be around other deep thinkers. There is some truth three jewels of buddhism: Take refuge in the sangha. It helps with the isolation. That said, I do believe that I, personally, need to work on my social skills a bit so I can relate to more people. In other words, I have yet to integrate some of the crucial qualities that are typically developed in red, blue, and orange. We all have work to do, none of us are pure yellow. Curious to hear your thoughts.
  6. The book Models by Mark Manson is quite good. Also get your hands on any of the RSD videos. They aren't books, but they have all you need to know.
  7. I have a different take. If you are curious you should explore your curiosity. That is the essence of self-inquiry. When not curious, just stick to the breath until curiosity arises again. Then explore.
  8. I'm a natural empath but I also do a loving kindness meditation.
  9. I use a mindfulness noting technique and meditation taught as instructed by the mind illuminated by culadasa. Culudasa prioritizes concentration practices before insight practices. It's a sort of vipassana technique.
  10. @Inliytened1 I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, yes, I want to know the truth, but right now I have a ton of practical matters that have to be attended to. I was simply wondering if I should even make an effort to know the truth right now or if I should get my shit handled first. I think for now I'm just going to keep meditating and then when I'm curious start taking it more seriously. We'll see how things pan out.