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So ..... Sharp is dead now then? Hasn't been online since yesterday, and was quite adamant about suicide, so seems he went thru with it. Born in 1960, so a pretty good run of 59 years. I've seen many people on this forum thru the years say they are going to commit suicide. Wonder how many actually went thru with it. Never any way of knowing. Now 'Sharp' is God realized, so yay.

Happy explosion brother. I mean, you don't have to do it, it comes down to stillness, in mind and body, or love, but what ever you do is fine. I would write a carefully written suicide note to your past loved one's, and be as honest as you can, don't leave them in unanswered questions. And don't beat yourself up over it if you don't decide to do it. But the point is, it's accessible here and now!

On a serious note the thought of suicide rises sometimes on downcycles for me. For me it is the great equaliser because you cannot go lower than suicide. I take a minute or an hour to just be, in the suicidal mood, and mind tends to GTFO and the end of the downcycle arrives IN THE MOMENT and changes to an upcycle. Spirituality for me and many I have spoken to is about cycles of up down up down up down it is NOT constant like all these teachers make it out to be. Without going down you cannot go up higher. Thankfully the cycles have slowed down lately but they still happen. It's life!

@Preetom :) great wisdom on suicide

All the meme and jokes aside, I think it would be great if death and suicide could be culturally re-contextualized. Actually there is nothing wrong in the the drive for death or to commit suicide. It is one of the natural(probably the most intense) urges of the mind. Why? Well because death is the ultimate release. It is the innate intelligence in us that does everything for seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, it knows that dying will be the ultimate happiness/release. Osho used to say that it is probably impossible to find a person who has never contemplated suicide. If a person never glimpsed the urge for his own annihilation or meaninglessness of life, he is either an animal or just plain stupid. In any endeavor to fulfill any of our desire, we actually don't crave the object of desire. We merely crave for the release after that desire is subsided, that even, clam, self-happiness or relief. Looking in this way, it is obvious that an urge for suicide is actually a wake up call; not something that is to be treated as taboo. It's a wake up call to wake up from the dream and be what one really is. But there are countless stupid ways to treat this intelligent message. Killing the physical body is probably the most stupid way out of them. The urge for suicide is not the urge for annihilation of the physical body. This flesh doll is already dead. It is the urge to get relief from the hideous cancer which is the sense of being a separate self, the ultimate tyrant there is

* Initiate quantum suicide *

distract them for few minutes from suicidal thoughts. That should do the work. probably 99% suicidal thoughts/attempts are not clearly and consciously chosen decision made over a long period of time. Mostly it is just a fickle mind virus that takes one over for a short time. If that short time can be countered by shifting the attention to something else, usually that suicide impulse die out as well.

Suicide or mahasamadhi? if you do decide to go, don't go into the white light. It's false. Stay in the void, don't go down the tunnel... https://www.trickedbythelight.com/tbtl/light.shtml

@FoxFoxFox i say suicide is the easy way out rather than actually dying Bored consciousness? I like that

@Sharp Fun fact: when you die, you will just come back. I suggest you try and get a direct experience of death while keeping your body alive. You'll see how consciousness literally gets bored and recreates the world to reincarnate directly. It makes suicide kinda pointless.

@ASJ hey. welcome to the forum i am no expert in this field and i hope someone else also shares their POV/answer with you. but i will tell you this. people have many perspectives and all differ. if you show a random object to a room of 50 people, there will be 50 different ways it is being viewed/thought about. what helps me in situation such as yours in truly viewing the situation from the other person's Point of view (pov) keep in mind, there are only relative POVs. yours vs others. you have to understand that nobody just does anything or believe in something for the sake of it... if you do not believe in ghosts and someone else does, then you have to truly understand this . understand that to the one believing in ghost or demons, it is as real a fact as earth being round for example. to someone who has had a paranormal experience, it is a very true thing... a doctor or scientist may give him/her explanation which stems from their own understanding and pov... but it doesn't change the fact that the person directly experienced it for themselves. each party always only (naturally) protects its own interest. when you happen to be on the opposing side, there naturally will be conflict it is like watching a game of football and either supporting team A or team B. there is no "right" team who should win or deserves to win. it is just a game and there are 2 teams and supporters for each side. so before cutting off ties. just UNDERSTAND that the other party do not view their actions/beliefs are wrong and they are 100% correct for them as anything you might believe is 100% for you. a suicide bomber 100% believes that he will be going to heaven after doing his deed. to him, it is such a strong deep belief that he willingly blows himself up for it IT IS ALL RELATIVE

@Zigzag Idiot @tsuki I really appreciate your input and intend to respond later. First, some observations this morning. Now that I've been on dates with 4 girls, I get nervous about how and when to propose a next date. And what if they say no? I know the answer to that: I get over it and meet new people. This is the flow of life. So even though I feel more at ease now that I can meet and connect with girls when I want to, I'm still clinging to these particular ones. Not as tightly as if it would be a single person, but still. The feeling of abundance is increased, but not the deep abundance. But I can't help to draw a parallel: I meet a few girls, now I'm scared to lose them. Rich people don't have peace, they worry about their money. I have had an underlying assumption, pretty much all my life, that getting enough money and sex is working towards inner peace. It made sense: my path isn't blocked by lack of anything, I don't have to work so I'm free. I don't have to worry about money because there is enough. I don't have to be harsh with myself to go meet girls because that part is so integrated that it happens by itself. But what if that's wrong? Businesses take work to maintain, you can worry about those. Even plainly having a ton of cash is a huge responsibility: you have to worry about how your investments are doing, you have to make sure that you give enough to charity and that people are seeing that, because more eyes are on you. Most of your friends will be fake friends who hope to get stuff from you. This alone can drive people to suicide. It's still worth doing, but it's not a way to end all worries. You're just worrying about different things. Like RSDTyler likes to say: "Increase the QUALITY of your problems." I'm seeing a couple different girls now. I mean, I don't know whether I'll see them again, and I worry about that I noticed this morning that I want to text them all and set a next date, so that I can feel safe. But I noticed that would be coming from the wrong place, so I didn't. On top of that, I have more Tinder matches than I have attention or energy for. So I kind of gave up, and am seeing all these potential connections being ignored by me, and dying. This also bugs me. Also in the words of RSDTyler: "Stop trying for completion. There is no completion. It will never come." I'm paraphrasing. But, it pans out so far. A few months ago I set out to change my habits and activities so that I would get closer to my goals. Work out, eat better, meditate regularly, get laid, make LP plans. I worked on all of those. What did it bring me? Greater life satisfaction. I don't feel like I'm "wasting" my life anymore Better sense of self-worth. I like explaining my life to people, and don't feel inferior and envious opposite almost everyone, like before. And this is profound. For me. When getting to know people, but also with good friends, I remember always feeling like they have their shit together sooo much more than I do, I'm a mess. That's gone! I know what I'm doing and not doing, and it needs work but I feel valuable and together already. Decreased neurosis. The constant "I should eat better, dammit, I should get laid, damn it, I should ..." chatter is diminished. Greater confidence in my ability to achieve and push through. Because I fell out of the diet and got back up. Now, I fell out of meditation habit, and that makes me feel guilty still, but I'm certain that I'll pick it back up. I feel more comfortable in public places. I used to feel very self-conscious and projecting how people (strangers) see me. When I would overhear conversation, I would project whether I would be friends or foes with these people. There's a lot less of that. Sometimes I just automatically talk to a stranger. And after that it's easy to let go of that connection as well. What did it not bring me? Inner peace. Nothing to worry about. The ability to have an empty mind most of the day. I'm writing this because I'm feeling stressed about a lot of things, and I was hoping to get rid of that. I have to check my phone, answer my email, take care of my relationships, keep a calendar, et cetera et cetera. Also, if I understand David Deida correctly, merging with the feminine is a temporary moment of bliss and emptiness, which the masculine is always seeking, after which he has his purpose to get back to. Giving his deepest gift. Always willing to fight for peace, emptiness, that he never gets to keep. So if there's no end to the rat race, the stress, it becomes more important to be relaxed in it. Since the only way out is death or enlightenment, and both of those are probably far away, I might as well value inner calm over everything. Get some mindfulness into my day. Since that's all the peace I'm going to get. The peace in my daily life. It's not going to happen when I reach the next level: when I get more money or sex. I will have to strive to live peacefully despite there always being things to worry about. At every level. Got up at : 9:30 Days in a row with morning routine : 0 Number of women approached : 19 Total infield time : 12h10 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 69 alcohol : 4 caffeine except tea : 6 TV : 0 grains : 17 sugar : 7 dairy : 23 peak orgasm : 5 porn : 26

That doesn't address the problem of the solipsistic madness Leo keeps pedalling in his most recent videos. The belief that I am god and all of you people on this forum are just fake cardboard cutouts is pure madness and it goes against the view that all of us are appearances within consciousness and we all exist together as that. As such I can no longer consider Actualized.org as a platform for personal or spiritual development. The stuff he comes out with is dangerous and a catalyst for psychosis and suicide. If you are all that exists and everything is just fake and empty then you may as well be dead. That is not the fullness of life nor is it awakening. I will be going to a mental health specialist to try and repair the damage Actualized. org has done to me before it is too late.

Tinnitus is a ringing in ears and head, kind of like a buzzing sound which can drive people to commit suicide, it causes stress , anxiety, and there is no cure for it. And now my goal of life is to experience enlightenment and want to achieve real happiness is it still possible for me !

@Nahm I might just be ignorant about the topic, but I don't think Adolf Hitler actually killed anyone by his own hands (he might have during the war when he served in the Austrian military, and ofc there are the allegations that he forced his wife into suicide). Anyhow, There is no doubt that his ideology brought about the death and suffering of millions of people, and that is the issue. Like Winterknight said in another thread. The problem is in the psyche. So no. I wouldn't kill Adolf Hitler. I would try to help him get over his demons, if I could. So the answer to all of those questions is no. I wouldn't kill him even if i had the chance during the height of his power and destruction. I don't think death is a suitable penalty even for a murderer who kills personally.

I get that this may be funny for you and I can understand that but please see that I am going through a very difficult existential crisis with all of this and I am seeking help as it has caused me to suffer from depression which may go on to psychosis if left unchecked. Please understand how destructive the idea that the computer in front of me right now as well as the rest of my family actually have no form of existence whatsoever. That shit can really mess people up and I hope that nobody has committed suicide after watching some of the deeper stuff Leo creates.

In general, please avoid clickbait titles and twisted themes of death, torture, suicide etc.

Well first of all I think it's awesome that you are so open about your dissatisfaction with life. I worry a lot of people are afraid of being judged, or afraid that maybe it means they aren't as spiritually advanced as they'd like to think they are if they admit they are suffering. So yeah, being honest I think will really pay off for you. I suffered through a period of extreme numbness. It's a long story but some shit friends thought I had basically died from an overdose of synthetic weed and were about to leave me, that whole experience left my dreams feeling more real than reality, and that wasn't a good thing because my dreams were basically me getting my throat slit or shot and killed, the whole circus. The numbness was protecting me from extreme trauma, but I still fucking hated it. I will take my emotional tenderness, or my tears, or my anxiety over that shit any fucking day. My worry and I think you're aware of this is that the numbness as terrible as it is, is trying to help you avoid the trauma of all the anxiety and depression that you are feeling all coming out at once. LSD really lights up my nervous system, and I'm worried for you that two tabs (which is quite a lot) would be very intense for a first time user. I remember my one tab experience was plenty intense on my first try. It's definitely awesome that you're looking for direction, but I see it being hard to find direction in a numbed up state. How do you expect to get a feel for what you want, if you don't feel. As someone who climbed out of numbness, emotional meditation really did a lot for me. I just focused basically on the most emotionally intense sensation in my body and worked on relaxing into it, and developing tenderness towards it. My personal recommendation would be to practice a more emotionally based meditation leading up to this trip, to help take some of the repressed emotions off your plate so you aren't too overwhelmed by a tsunami. It also sounds like you have some issues with your work especially. I would probably get out on paper a lot of the self hate and anger (if there is any) that is centered around your job and kind of pre-process those emotions so you aren't blasted with self-hate when you trip. Now during the trip, you just gotta relax, the trip is going to be a trip. You can't really know what you're going to get. I've been tucked in by an ethereal motherly entity. I've had trips where my awareness was so centered on people eyes and mouths and how they looked at each other searching for social queues ( I was tripping in a NY subway). I've had trips where I saw visuals of huge pillars full of these laughing emoticons, laughing at me for thinking I existed in a way that I didn't. The trips have all had their own taste, so it can be hard to prepare a bit or tell you what you're going to get. I've never regretted taking a tab, and then a half tab or another tab afterwards when I wanted a bit more. Like you're welcome to take two, but why not 1 the first hour and see how it goes, and then the other. They will overlap and you'll still get the strength of two if you want it, but you'll be a lot safer which is important. There isn't too much you need to know during the trip, just surrender to it as best you can, and try to take any lessons your direct experience is offering you. It will give you lessons trust me haha, you don't gotta do anything special when you're on acid other than be present and surrender imo. One of my best friends when he was younger had a bad shroom trip and nearly killed himself, so if you have any firearms at your house or things that you can cause self-harm with. Put them somewhere where you can't get to them during the trip please, your car keys too (he tried suicide by car basically). I don't want to scare you, but safety first, cause why not. I also hope you've tried smoking weed, or have some experience in altered states of consciousness. If you haven't I would smoke a joint first, I'll literally mail you one haha

I know, Leo's videos are addressing egos. If I saw myself everwhere, that would be kind of interesting but if I literally created it all and everything and everyone else is a total illusion or cardboard cutouts as Rupert Spira said, that would send me into a state of unfathomable terror and total insanity. A loneliness from which suicide would not be an escape.

I m expecting to finish this project in 1 - 2 years. I hope not 3. There is one more thing to work at myself. Right now I m doing research and write down sentences when I have an insight which is aligned with my vision. My objective is a best seller. Now I m courious how the readers will react at storyes about deep depression, suicide, the slavery of sec 21, and things like that.. Some examples with good memoirs will be great.

I'll give you another perspective. One that's in a way categorically different than what I see most comments be about here. But you do have to pay close attention, because it's easily misunderstood. This is a dangerous one I'm posting here if not properly understood, and I'm taking a great gamble by posting this. this is why I strongly urge you to read through the entire article before making up your mind about what my post is about. People try to frame the situation in a positive light, or they try to encourage you to live. My feeling is that this is in many cases this is simply out of fear of death. You can look at this situation from a different angle. Your title states you don't want to live anymore. Most people here want to prevent you in some way or another from having a self-destructive or suicidal attitude. I'm not that kind of person. Why would you even begin to post that you don't want to live anymore? Why even state it? If you don't want to live anymore, then simply commit suicide. Why would you start a topic about it? This is not because I want you to commit suicide, but I'm just arguing from your perspective. It's clear to me that you post this so you can see if there are any reasons you can find to keep on living. You want to find encouragement. At least be honest about that. Don't create such a post about it where you constantly give a counterargument or negative reply to anything any other person suggests here. If you are really so certain that you don't want to live anymore, then why are you still alive? You would already have taken your own life by now Start by being honest with yourself and others. Instead of pretending to be this person that doesn't want to live anymore, admit that you do want to keep on living and to have reasons for it —or certainly at least a part of you does. Reframe the topic and reframe the intention of it. Instead of taking on this life-negative approach, be honest with yourself and frame it like this: "Part of me feels like I don't want to live anymore, but another part of me definitely does want to keep on living. Can you guys help me to find reasons or reframes that would give me encouragement to keep on living?". Start with this honesty, at least. But even if you have all the reasons that have ever and will ever exist to keep on living, this wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough, because it would merely a fight against the part of you that doesn't want to keep living. It doesn't matter if you believe in reincarnation and therefore suicide would be useless, or that you would be condemned to hell if you would commit suicide, or that life has potential to be full of joy... It doesn't matter what you believe here. If those reframes and "positive thoughts" are simply repression against your desire for annihilation, the shadow of it will always keep on following you, no matter what you do or believe in. If you are really sincere about your inquiry for truth, admit that no thought has a preference over the other. This means even that the survival drive has no preference over the suicidal urge. None at all. Suicide is just as relevant as life is. To choose suicide is just as a feasible, relevant idea as the idea to keep on living is. Consider it. Ponder upon it. Inquire about it with absolute sincerity. See how everything that is considered "Negative" or "bad" can be argued in such a way that it can become something constructive or positive. Just try it, even if it doesn't feel real to you and if it only appears only theorethical. Start with "theorethically", if nothing else. Here is the interesting part about it: If you have absolutely no resentment anymore against the idea of committing suicide, it will lose its appeal. To be wanting to commit suicide, means that you want to escape life, that you want to escape suffering. If you are absolutely okay with death, you will be absolutely okay with life also. Because you are allowing yourself to step out of it at any moment, there is absolutely no problem, absolutely no struggle. Then anything that accompanies life, will simply be a fun game to you, like the way a child plays a game. Even physical discomfort and pain will be of no worry to you. Because for all you know, you could be gone tomorrow. you have become okay with it, at least. Then why bother about discomfort? Life becomes so light, so worryless. Now, life will simply be an amazing game, an amazing play in which everything appears as a sort of holy perfection. What I've described above is the realization I had about half a year ago on the topic of suicide. I struggled with the same kind of resentment I had towards the idea of suicide (which I feel like it's appropriate to assume OP must be having otherwise this topic wouldn't be here). Even though I wasn't actively depressed or suicidal, I still felt a certain fear and dread about the idea that one day it could happen that I would take my life, until I suddenly realized that it ultimately matters if I do or don't commit suicide. At that point, I suddenly felt very peaceful and life became suddenly so wonderful. It felt like such a big burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I took notes at that point to describe my realization. I still have it on my phone. I'll type it out: "Relaxed. My problems appear no longer as something serious. Primarily, there's simply worrylessness and playfulness towardws everything. Everything appears as a silly, funny game. Suffering is nothing more than a consequence of misunderstandings. Without misunderstandings, here are no worries. Without worries any form of physical and emotional pain is simply a light-hearted game to you, just like a child plays a game. Suffering is only there if you don't see the situation for what it truly is" (end quote) I'll leave it with this.

i dont really buy into this statement. in fact i doubt about anyone if one does. not all celebraties or rich ppl commit suicide, in fact most of them live happily. Just because some of few does, doesnt imply money not provide happiness.

I thought of this a few days ago. If you understand why there seems to be a high rate of suicide among squirrels who live near the road then you understand why in part its a little more difficult for a mercurial (thyroid) essence types to do Inquiry than other types. All that energy which is hard to contain is a part of the price they pay for their natural superior perceptive abilities, perhaps. http://destinyclemens.com/Destinyclemens/Gallery_1/Pages/Mercury.html im a Solar Saturn/mars type. Mars and Mercury energy often clash with one another.

Seeing a therapist won't help if you are still fighting various thoughts. It really depends on how you are using the therapist. I can go to a hair dresser and ask for a wash and blowdry, but if my hair is past my ankles I'll still trip up now and then. You need to use the therapist for what YOU NEED, and that is to stop this battle with yourself. Notice the feeling in your body when you do this shaking thing. What is this feeling? Why is it so terrible? Try just one time to embrace the feeling. Imagine it's like an old friend. Let it wash over you. You see, your body wants to protect you. Every feeling, every response, is pure love. I get the feeling you are trying to rid yourself of various feelings or thoughts. This is only going to make it worse. You have to accept all of yourself. Even these thoughts that you might think are dangerous. I used to think suicidal thoughts and it used to terrify me. It terrified me every time it happened until I decided suicide wasn't a bad thought. I decided it wouldn't really matter if I killed myself. It would be fine. Since then I realised these thoughts weren't scary or dangerous and I realised I really didn't want to kill myself. I could try if I wanted and that would be fine, but I didn't want to.

You're confusing comfort with happyness. Money can bring you comfort but it can't bring you happyness. If you compare this generation to any previous generation. We're are the most comfortable generation ever. No one enjoyed so many conveniences in the past as we do now, we live maybe 20times more comfortably then a man who lived 200 years ago. But are we the most joyful generation? No, we're the whiniest generation ever. More people commit suicide then ever before.