DoTheWork

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About DoTheWork

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  1. In my case YES. After more than 8 years of hardcore spiritual work, I still feel like I am writing this post. I still feel I control The Voice, I still feel like I am thinker/doer. What about you?
  2. Is pretty much the same or I would even say worse. Up to this day I tried about 20 psychedelic substances. 200 trips total 150 of them were 5-MeO-DMT. (120x vaped Freebase, 30x Nasal/Rectal HCL). Out of 150 5-MeO-DMT trips, about 100 of them were I AM GOD experiences. Recently I tried 5-MeO-MALT and it seemed to last a lot longer than 5-MeO-DMT. Vaped 5-MeO-DMT lasts 45 min, and 5-MeO-MALT lasts about 8 hours. I have a different brain chemistry than other people, because average 1P-LSD trip lasts at least 36 hours for me (7 hours for others) The strongest psychedelic I tried was 5-MeO-MIPT. After 100+ 5-MeO-DMT experiences, all other 5-MeO substances felt like 5-MeO-DMT. When it comes to 5-MeO-MIPT, it lasted for me 16 hours with rectal administration, and trip was TOTALLY 5-MeO-DMT like. So imagine having a 16 hours long 5-MeO-DMT experience "I AM GOD"... I am into spirituality/self inquiry/meditation/psychedelics/contemplation for at least 8 years. Basically full time, all day, every day. All of my trips and spiritual practice has been properly integrated every day. So how my life has changed? - identification with thoughts is stronger - my thought loops are stronger - my depression is stronger - my anxiety/social anxiety is stronger - insomnia is stronger - my dissociation is stronger - my noise sensitivity is stronger - my OCD is stronger - my food allergies are the same - my motivation is weaker - problem with my speech is the same - orgasm feels very weak when compared to 8 years ago - my traumas has not been revealed/healed - I still see others as others - Ordinary life now feels dull compared to 5-MeO experiences. Of course "Ordinary Life" is GOD / LOVE as well. But that is just an intellectual claim/belief when being sober... - And next problem - GOD / LOVE is addicting. And you cannot trip 24 hours a day all year. All that leaves you disappointed. So which from above written is the most disappointing? Identification. The problem with psychedelics is that they do not help with identification problem. They actually worsen it. All the trips are now a part of story of ME. Making spiritual ego stronger. Thoughts are still mesmerizing - totally steal my full attention. I still believe they are MY thoughts. I still feel like a thinker. I still get entangled into the mind stories. I AM STILL IDENTIFIED WITH THE VOICE IN THE HEAD After 8+ years of spirituality, the mind is stronger than in the beginning. Tried just about hundred of techniques to disidentify/observe thoughts. No success. Tried doing, not doing, observing, being aware, resting as awareness, being the observer, surrender, surrendering the surrender, not doing anything, doing anything, doing nothing, strong determination sitting, observing the doing of not doing without trying, being, trying, not trying, focused techniques, unfocused techniques, energy work, contemplation, breathing techniques, tapping techniques, self inquiry, mindfulness, still and dynamic meditations, 100+ of books... And all of that, after 8 years, feels like a waste of time. So how are you after many trips? Are you still identified with the voice in the head?
  3. What is the "FINAL" step of Love? Imagine that EVERYBODY is awakened. Imagine EVERYBODY lives in Love in this planet. Imagine that all people have REACHED MAXIMUM Love embodiment capacity. Where do we go from here? Where??? WHERE? Only down.... down to suffering again... At one point, love would want to become pain again. Because it MUST. Change is inevitable.
  4. Guys be careful with this LOVE stuff. Truth have NO obligations and no attributes. YES, Truth is Love, But Love is Suffering as well. Truth is Loving Itself even through Suffering and making no distinctions. Suffering is made of LOVE "material". Murder is Love, his Victim is Love. In the ultimate level, Truth, Love, Suffering, Ego, are the same thing. But I agree with you - YES, there are SUBJECTIVE preferences and expectations YOU project to Truth and many of them are helpful to humanity! I am with you! ... But still... There are SOME people who actually enjoy suffering and enjoy pain. You want to teach them LOVE. They want to teach you HATE. Who is right? BOTH of you. BOTH OF YOU ARE MADE OF THIS "TRUTH-LOVE" substance
  5. EXACTLY. I can't live life by living, and I can't live life by not living. What does that mean? It means, that "I", that is said to do that, is an illusion
  6. Yes I am fucked No way back... And yes, I have NO morality. But I know that nobody on Earth wants to suffer. That puts us on the same boat.
  7. man... total meaninglessness means TOTAL meaninglessness ... That means that: - Its meaningless to use muscles and leave your bed in the morning - Its meaningless to open eyes in the morning - Its meaningless to breathe
  8. Yes, because there is no better place to be. Every life has some pros and cons. But ultimately everything is equal, because everything is One. Being limited human is not worse than being limited alien with 10 dicks and 30 hands . Or being Angel is not better than being Human.
  9. guys .... Life is inherently meaningless. And that is TOTAL. Are you really sure what life after total meaninglessness realization means? After that, you basically have to DECEIVE yourself again to be able to slap NEW meanings to meaningless colorful shapes and to motivate yourself to get out of your bed again. But in practice it's a lot harder than it sounds because now you have seen too much. For example: It's like you are a gynecologist who have seen so many pussies that he is no longer aroused by them.
  10. Of course. I wrote earlier that I want to forget meaninglessness of enlightenment and create some meaningful life consciously.
  11. @noselfnofun Life on this planet Earth is made for unconscious people who live in their conceptual world full of meanings, values, hierarchies, opinions. But that is just my opinion.
  12. @zeroISinfinity Man, I don't know anything now... I feel more lost than ever... @Consilience I have experienced being Love many times, yet it's not part of my day-to-day life. Yes it's next step maybe
  13. Saving other people from sweetness of delusion may get counter-productive in the end. Many of them live pretty normal ordinary life at the moment. Do you really want to wake them up?? Are you really sure? Are you really REALLY sure it is the right thing for them to wake up from their sweet dream to meaninglessness?