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  1. or just cessation of perception and feeling
  2. @PlayTheGame I've had weed induced DPDR. Later, after it resolved did 5-MeO, DPT, 1-p LSD, 2CB and never had any problems with it. Classic serotonergic psychedelics don't tend to induce DPDR. Stay away from salvia Divinorum and high doses of weed
  3. But then how can you say you are unlimited when even on 5-MeO breakthrough, awareness still has the same set of shapes and colors? This is probably the biggest mystery for me. Even tho I've had a breakthrough, like you say colores and shapes didn't disappear (I had my eyes open). Isn't there a possibility that awareness is in fact, a mental construct, a composite of physical and mental phenomena?
  4. @Leo Gura Frank Yang did breakthrough doses of 5-MeO and said he had similar experiences on Samatha/vipassana retreat. He is experienced meditator
  5. @Leo Gura Why would you even take a possibility of maintaining an alerted state like on 5-MeO, sober, seriously? Nobody assumes cocaine/heroin/weed state can be maintained sober, why it would be different with 5-MeO?
  6. There's truth in that. I completely agree with Leo that 99 if not 100% of spiritual teachers have not reached levels as high as him. Those levels are simply unsustainable and he calls them awakening which I think confuses many people because awakening is understood as something that sticks in a more permanent way. Why not call it 5-MeO peak/merging with the Godhead/Pure consciousness experience?
  7. Why God? Why did you make me a complaining creature? Nobody would be complaining if they would feel bliss beyond ecstasy all the time
  8. Where you totally awake in one of your "live awakening" videos?
  9. You mean high school kid who is able to follow instructions from youtube
  10. It's soo true. Alcohol plays such a big role in society's survival. I was contemplating lately why then population just didn't evolve eventually to the ones who do not need to dampen their fear with alcohol in order to find a mate. I think it comes down to the fact that such very low neurotic/fearless people are simply not optimal for survival either, they would not care enough in other areas of life and therefore would not be the best survival machines. The best scenario seems to be - be anxious and afraid enough so you care enough about career, money, kids, health, whether you fit in a group etc. but also have a magic substance (alcohol) to dampen your amygdala activity on Friday night and be able to talk to girls.
  11. Well, it will invalidate the whole notion of the Ultimate Reality, if you can get higher and higher and it doesn't seem to end
  12. Precisely that But it does invalidate the whole idea of enlightenment as the end of suffering. I've experienced a horrible, stress-induced major depressive episode with anxiety, which lasted ~14 months while being in a non-dual, no sense of self and agency state. It was easier to bear but it was still tremendous suffering. During that time I've tried so many things and almost nothing worked, the only things that gave me some relief were antidepressants and anti-inflammatory drugs like Ibuprofen. Xanax worked great but it builds tolerance very quickly and you can actually die from the withdrawals, so I was fucked. BTW I've also tried 5-MeO and it did nothing to my depression/anxiety long-term (I mean like 1 day+). Kenneth Folk said that during his episode he was able to temporarily end suffering by going into a Jhana, I was not able to reliably enter Jhanas unfortunately. Now I have a whole new perspective on why people call cessation of consciousness Nirvana. Even at the peak of my depression, if I only could fall asleep, I would go completely unconscious and it felt amazing.
  13. It's been completely lost I still distinguish effort from effortless. It's just that regardless of whether or not I have to use effort it doesn't have a 'self' component to it. It kind of feels like a metta conscious perspective all the time. Before, I was much more self-conscious and had much much more and louder voice in the head. The effort is still tiring to the body and mind but it doesn't corrupt that metta conscious perspective.