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"Ken Wilber: The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. It's somehow just kind of closes them down it's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience and some people like David Deida will say that in order for altered changes of state to contribute to transformation a permanent transformation it has to be basically endogenous and not a exogenous it has to be has your own source People who do that (Psychedelics) the people that do use both (Meditation and Psychedelics) and use it as a sacrament i think an enormous bit out of it." From one year ago: How healthy/smart is disdain for humanity (instead of compassion) if ones holarchic being consists of mainly being human? Did God only create 2-legged-untruthful-bullshit with lacking potential on this planet or what? How about wisdom/awakening AND compassion&love? Integrating higher and lower elements of ones own holarchical being? Not blaming the acorn (humans) that they are not an oak (alien) yet? Leo, did you ever read Wilbers descriptions of healthy growth (transcend & include ones humanity) and unhealthy growth (disassociate & not integrate (aka hate) ones humanity)? A whole book written by Wilber on the unhealthy growth/choices at third tier: Wilber, The Religion of Tomorrow. Most possible f***-ups of third tier in one book. Ever read it? Starting to notice that any audience/beings tend to respons to healthy messages? And not to Alien-escapism? Why is that? Some safety mechanism from God almighty? Selling basic healthy growth/transcendence mechanisms by the River

I haven't seen many of your posts, so I don't want to be quick to assign views to you. Is it your opinion that something similar to this doesn't exist? Not the extra bit about peace and not needing anything, but just something called enlightenment itself. Not an end state necessarily, but a spiritual process of transformation. I'm just trying to get an idea of where you're coming from in the argument. It's not totally clear.

Chilling will get into Zen-Mode realitvely soon Watching my moon, the impossbility and limitlesness, yes I like the Aries in my Moon, it might overbear you, I like my past fire energy. hihi I hope weed helps vietnam I can't handle the random pisness I might shoot a couple of low lifes for fun I bet the police will let me go, humans are so valueless, I also hate this random hate from shitty vietnams, they act like the dirt that hates me for no reason, but they act with reason which pisses me off, anyhow nature might just be different there, and Feng-Shui IIRC does not want me to go there? I am unsure. Also I love Asian humans also beign there was the most healthy transformation possible, I never also meet more healthy humans, I am still split in terms of what I can even enjoy because of random dissatisfaction. I hope humans realize their vanity by the end of next year. Maybe I can speed it up till Nov/Dec. That be very quick. Real Time is good bro!!! I could retrace the blood moon event I saw on LSD, and get some intel I am sacred shitless as I got a bad gut feeling that I should still uncover. I wonder how many lunar events, as well as deep space events I was able to perceive, Libra energy is still insane for me in flow. I get to god mode somehow, idk it's insane how important it is how humans treat you when we venture into space. I hope russians clean space debri, at one point.... idk maybe there are all corrupt wood people who are good for nothings, I don't quiet comprehend this energy, as I was raised with it and got the innocence part with intelligence & loyality. I wonder what happend to loyality. Maybe at one point we need dynasties. So people just believe in loyality the cereal-packet-family is dead to me, irony right? But we get the Enneagram! Yeahiii It's impossible thanks to 9w1 will I bet with you till eternity. Never meet a more loyal person also by type. That level of love is radiating to high for everyone. I just wonder if I legit spotted a mistake, due to future growth of spirituality, why should these numbers not evolve in stages & insights? My clarity on alcohol is also very insane, it's unironically a very cathartic and spiritual drink to me, as I am prone to rage and peace, I get a lot of insights in this spectrum, again monkey and 64 is fine, I wonder what 62 is, Can someone find that number for me? Vocal lessons are insane 🙏🏽💗💗, I wonder at times also what happens to the world, it's insane how corrupted 9w1 is by the greed of the world moving to 3 collectively, their practicality is their biggest devil. Right action? Are you really sure? Where is your intent? 4w5 is also with 4w3 the most important pair in this timeline imo, but yeah I am speculating. Spiritual humans are just insane generally speaking. I wonder how limits even break? Mostly from 4. Otherwise it's impossible.

Leo the Blackpiller. On a project called "Actualized". A drama in in five acts. Oh my. Act 1: Narrator: What in my view is genetics/Karma is being psychic, seeing Auras, subtle beings, OBEs, and all that stuff. That can't be trained by normies. One either has it or not. Buuuuut training to rest in nondual awakened states? No. Many had to train a lot to get there (called meditation). Sure, some woke up spontaneously. It is called True Being. Every being has it, or better IS it. There are proven ways to access and stabilize that. Meditation for example. Not for every Karma-variant "delivered", but for many achieveable if training in earnest. Yours truly for sure was not extraordinarily gifted and needed over 10 years to get anywhere near anything nondual. But was lucky using a meditation system that got pleasurable quite soon and enabled racking up the 1000s of hours of cutting off the "I/me/mine-bla-bla" sufficiently (many of that in daily life) to get anywhere near awakened nondual impersonal states. Act 2: Narrator: What can be heard in the last weeks from our respected host are frequent expression of suffering, and also being annoyed by being human. If that attitude is not a dissociation (sick form of non-growth/aborted transcendence) and not an differentiation & integration (healthy form of growth/transcendence in Wilber speech), I don't know what is. Wilber, The Religion of the Future. All ways how transcendence/growth can go wrong, and how one can get addicted to 7th haven realms, and how to avoid and correct these, laid on a platter. And now limiting believes and justifications why one can not practice letting go of the separate-self and shutting it off (aka meditation), because... rationalizations like genetics, prodigies, creativity and artistic and other stuff instead of boring meditation and annoying and what not. https://www.actualized.org/insights/profound-quotes-032 https://www.actualized.org/insights/werewolf-boy Leo Gura: "Exceptionally spiritually gifted people are born just like this werewolf boy. And no amount of spiritual practice will give you their abilities. But because all that happens on the inside, people do not see it. So they end up spending their lives trying to emulate someone who is a genetic freak, and of course they end up disappoint with their lack of results or unhappiness in life. Because a werewolf boy has to live differently than normies. And if you as a normie try to live like werewolf boy, you will not be happy because it is not the right fit. This is why above all else in this work you must be true to yourself, to your genetics. Your destiny is in your genetics. But you need to discover what that means, which is no trivial matter." Narrator: Got blackpilled? Got blackpilled! Act 3: Al Swearengen: "That's what life is one vile task after another. Don't get aggravated then the enemy has you by the short hairs." . WbtR: Sorry my friend. https://actualized.org/insights/profound-quotes-032 Narrator: Profound indeed. The Buddha not-en-vogue-long-dead-probably-never-historicaly-existing-gentleman called it dukha. Unsatisfying. A closet-Buddhist in the making? And so much happiness & compassion that there are even dreams of nondual crocodiles biting fellow expressions of his True Infinite Being. Ken Wilber: "Ken Wilber: The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. It's somehow just kind of closes them down it's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience and some people like David Deida will say that in order for altered changes of state to contribute to transformation a permanent transformation it has to be basically endogenous and not a exogenous it has to be has your own source People who do that (Psychedelics) the people that do use both (Meditation and Psychedelics) and use it as a sacrament i think an enormous bit out of it." Posted over a year ago: Act 4: Narrator: So, my proposal would be either to rebrand the thing as spiritual-blackpilled.org instead of actualized.org. Or, as alternative, at least not giving the poor folks consuming all of that uncritically limiting believes just because one highflyer got hung up in the seventh-heaventh-with-you-know-what-substances without a way of getting to that blissful estate sobre and in daily life. Leo, sorry for the rant. I wish you really the best, but that self-defeating blackpilling trend (probably generated by severly missing seaventh-heaventh-bliss - which I can understand), pushing it mostly on genetics and prodigy and what not (I would call that at least a bit "Karma" and not only genetics )... I have to testify against it, because for many that "could make it" that constitutes black-pilling & installing limitting believes. And even if a being does not reach Enlightenment in this life, the soul (relative manifestation, but still appearing/same "reality" as everthing else, lasting longer than one life) will carry the transcendence-propensity generated by simply witnessing the mindstream (aka meditation). Same with compassion. Act 5: WbtR: Actualized? Actualized! Selling the drama (5 acts) "Actualized! by the River & throwing the backpills back into the River where the came from" Music while lowering the curtain:

I seek to find the core and source of consciousness that generates reality and figure out a way to let it transform me from the inside out. All meaningful change happens through this process, as the alternative is mechanistic repetition and unconscious continuation of pre-established ideas/patterns (I don't want to dismiss that approach of course, maybe building momentum and slowly integrating is necessary not to overstimulate the body and build a foundation but still). The body forms itself inside out, growing from a single undivided cell into the complex, intelligent, specialized, interdependent system that it is today. It continues to create structures and experiences, with conscious experience corresponding to various parts of the brain expanding and interconnecting. But what I seek is to access the process which makes it happen, and my psychedelic experiences point me towards consciousness retroactively upgrading the brain as its physical counterpart and sensory connector in order to account for and understand a greater portion of reality. You might say that Leo already made a video about this and it's the concept of going Meta and that is definitely a powerful way to do it. But I feel like there has to be even more to it or maybe that within the concept of going Meta, there is more room for expanding the understanding of that concept, of what it means to go Meta and understanding Meta² or Meta-Meta. How can I instead of transcending paradigms through Non-Duality as I currently do, access and utilize that experiential feeling inside of me which leads me to become aware and want to go Meta and integrate it into my awareness and make it a default action and state of operating. There are many limitations within that stop us from living our best lives by being stuck in paradigms, maybe there is a point to it, maybe self-deception is just ignorance, maybe its the natural process of evolution that propels us into greater self-understanding and a healthier way to engage in existence, maybe we specifically chose to be as limited as we are in order to experience and appreciate activities that would make no sense from a higher perspective. But low consciousness leads to a lot of suffering, as we see in the world and ourselves, and I realized how my very own ideas and desires lead me to suffer needlessly, chase never attainable pleasure and hedonism, get me stuck and at odds with people and slow my progress towards my passions and the things that I find meaningful. One might say, I'm supposed to learn through physical experience and learn through suffering, but Sadhguru himself says that this human machine is the most sophisticated thing on the planet and we haven't even bothered reading the user's manual, so that's exactly what I want to do. Of course gaining experience through action is a fundamental part of it, but why should I chase random societal desires and karmic tendencies that I don't even authentically want when I haven't even figured out the fundamentals of my human existence and am simply adopting a local paradigm of blind faith, perpetuating negative tendencies in the process of aping after others because that's all I'm exposed to. I've been so unhealthy in the past, the self-understanding I have now would have saved me a lot of trouble, mindless repetition, ego games and stubbornness. I have wondered what about psychedelics made me tune into the experiences they create, one thing being that I'm overflowing with love, another that my limitations dissolve, another that the need for external validation disappears, another being fearlessness, another being transcending shame through self-compassion and understanding, another being the peace of mind that spawns curiosity, another one being the release of trauma and energetic barriers, another one being authenticity, yet another taking responsibility, and at this point its basically just speedrunning the concepts from the titles of all of Leo's videos. But I don't wanna rely on Leo's videos, I want to find out how to get into the state of mind that generates these insights and figure out what its source is, the healthiest configuration, the source of creation and imagination, the peak of kundalini, the state of mind that lets me shed my skin and be reborn and transformed from new energy updating my body from the inside out. I want to access the link between the immaterial and perceived materiality, the feeling of conscious intent when moving a hand, formulating a thought, taking a cold plunge, presence, awareness, energy, transformation.

The Psychology Of Being Wrong https://youtu.be/ClZ9B_V63Y4?si=W1b1LONye0srd0N8 "It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong. And I am not a big man." - Chevy Chase, as Fletch "There is no serious growth without admitting you were wrong." Central idea of personal growth: Growth requires the admission of being wrong, and "I was wrong" is a pivotal phrase for personal development. While the concept is simple, the great challenge lies in internalizing this idea deeply enough to effect change. Difficulty of introspection: It's easy to understand the concept of wrongness on a surface level, but the struggle arises in genuinely grasping its power and depth. Long discussions can assist in seeing various applications and avoiding the pitfall of empty theory that leads to no real change in one's mindset or behavior. Mindset transformation: Admission of wrongness isn't just about recognizing false beliefs; it involves realizing the entire approach or attitude toward different aspects of life may be flawed, like relationships, money, or spirituality. Transforming these basic orientations is crucial for growth. Recognizing deep-seated errors: Identifying profound, fundamental wrongs is essential, but difficult due to the ego's resistance and the significant life changes that typically follow such realizations. This includes reassessment of biases, judgments, core beliefs, and sense-making frameworks. Structural challenges of admission: Admitting one's wrongs can be heavily complicated by life's structures, such as professional settings, family dynamics, or personal relationships that prevent honest self-reflection due to potential consequences like loss of income, status, or personal relationships. Technique for confronting wrongness: To effectively confront and remedy wrongness, one must identify errors, face them, hold them in awareness, and explicitly admit to them. This often results in an emotional grieving process but ultimately leads to behavior change and growth. Self-deception and epistemic assumptions: Overcoming self-deception requires more than abstract understanding; it necessitates recognizing where you have deceived yourself and examining the underlying epistemic assumptions that enabled the fallacy, ensuring not to fall into similar traps in other forms. Private acknowledgement: While public admission of wrongs can be valuable, the key is to recognize and admit errors to oneself. This personal admission is what truly matters, as it allows for genuine change and development without the pressure of external validation or judgment. Admission of wrongness: Admitting to being wrong is crucial, but not always necessary to share publicly as it can create an additional burden. Scope of potential wrongness: Topics where one might be wrong include the nature of religion, scientism, political radicalism, diverse political views like abortion and climate change, romantic relationship dynamics, views on the opposite sex, and susceptibility to conspiracy theories. Dealing with past beliefs: Reflecting on past ideologies, such as radicalism or misogyny, often requires confronting deep embarrassment in later life stages. Acknowledging subtle wrongness: People often need to realize they've made incorrect judgments or rationalizations about a wide range of topics including success, victimhood, understanding of others’ motives, and their own capacities. Evolution of perspectives: Over time, as people grow and mature, their opinions and biases, like simplistic binary thinking, may shift dramatically. Personal growth through mistakes: Admitting mistakes in areas like making a bad investment or criticizing others can be painful, but is essential for personal development. Impact of low consciousness: Not recognizing mistakes due to low consciousness or societal norms can hinder growth; increasing self-awareness helps acknowledge faults. Complexity of self-deception: Overcoming self-deception involves understanding the multifaceted nature of being wrong, such as misinterpreting motives or rationalizing negative actions. Challenges in communication: Admitting wrongness extends to communication styles, like being overly critical or dismissive, and learning to appreciate different forms of intelligence. Importance of self-reflection: Gura highlights the benefits of observational learning and encourages shifting from confrontational attitudes to more compassionate engagement with diverse viewpoints. Realization about content creation: After a decade of making videos, it was understood that longer isn't always better; admitting this wrongness led to a shift towards more ruthless content editing, removing extraneous examples, excessive introductory material, and focusing on potent, clear, and concise presentations. Sophisticated vocabulary trap: The mistake of trying to impress people with complex academic jargon was identified and corrected early on, realizing that effective communication should be simple and accessible, a lesson from transitioning from academia to business where clear, straightforward language is valued. Stagnation of consciousness: Acknowledgment is made that without admitting wrongness, personal consciousness can become stuck, preventing access to higher dimensions of consciousness which require open-mindedness and a willingness to address and correct errors. Collective consequences of denial: Societal and political problems often stem from groups unwilling to admit they are wrong; e.g., conservatives are criticized for being in denial about issues such as climate change, fundamentalist religion, and the negative effects of capitalism, contributing to polarization and chaos. Blockades to admitting wrongness: The fear of painful consequences, such as trauma and loss of identity, can prevent individuals from recognizing their errors, with disaster or suffering usually being the catalyst for change. Individual and collective importance of admitting wrong: Emphasized is the essential role of admitting wrong in personal maturity and societal progress, enabling peace and justice by fostering humility, new perspectives, and higher levels of responsibility and consciousness. Misconceptions about suffering: Suffering is often viewed as something purely negative to be eradicated, but in reality, it's integral to growth and learning. The deepest lessons sometimes come from enduring significant hardship, which can catalyze change and increase compassion and understanding. The dual teachers – suffering and love: Two of the most potent avenues for profound learning are experiencing extreme suffering or extreme love. Suffering sharply awakens individuals to reality, while love, though positive, can be a trap due to its lulling sweetness. Role of psychedelics in personal growth: Psychedelics can serve as a catalyst for change, providing intense experiences of either suffering or love. They can offer insights into one's mistakes and broaden perspectives, but their effectiveness hinges on an individual's openness to self-improvement. Limitations of shared experiences with psychedelics: There's speculation about whether psychedelics like 5-MeO-DMT could dramatically change rigid perspectives, such as hypothetically with Donald Trump, but the outcome would depend on the person's ego and receptivity. Validation vs. Invalidation: Seeking validation feels good but can be counterproductive, similar to the short-term gratification of overeating. Conversely, invalidation feels uncomfortable but is critical for growth, akin to the benefits of fasting. Overcoming confirmation bias: To grow, one should proactively seek out opposing viewpoints and test beliefs with methodologies like the scientific method. Engaging with ideas outside one's comfort zone is necessary for development, though often avoided. Importance of feedback from others: Self-introspection isn't enough to uncover one's blind spots. Getting perspectives from others, through feedback or simply diverse points of view, is invaluable for personal growth. Exercise for gaining external perspective: A powerful exercise for self-assessment and growth involves asking a romantic partner or family member for an unvarnished evaluation of oneself, listening without defense, and then reflecting on that feedback alone to absorb and learn from it. Acknowledgment of past approach and commitment to change: Leo admits that his previous style wasn't serving the audience or aiding in enlightenment; he vows to change his approach to be more beneficial and sensitive to audience needs. Reevaluation of "weak people": Previously, Leo considered those with mental disorders, victim complexes, and suffering as weak. He now sees the error in this and expresses greater compassion after connecting through his own hardships. Intent to reduce harsh communication: Leo has recognized his mistakes in using profanity and insensitive examples, being harsh and judgmental, and acknowledges the need to adjust his tone to be more effective and less "performance-like." Future shift towards less violent communication: Leo is rethinking how he communicates, planning to avoid inflammatory language and tone, and to express himself with better intent and without subtle judgments. Change in perspective on human intelligence: After developing a contempt for human intelligence, Leo is now focusing on appreciating the specialized intelligence of others, valuing different perspectives, and finding the "signal in the noise." Traps of arrogance and content creation: Leo admits to falling into the trap of arrogance and overestimating his perspectives, as well as the need to be careful when speaking about levels of consciousness of others. Facilitating discovery instead of providing answers: Leo intends to guide his audience in discovering their own truths rather than simply supplying answers, though acknowledging the challenges of the video medium for this purpose. Underestimation of the audience's intelligence: Leo has shifted his view of his audience, realizing the dedication and potential in those who engage deeply with his content, and plans to better cater to and support their development. Appreciation for the audience's commitment and diversity: Reflecting on the diversity and commitment within his audience, Leo now recognizes the special nature of those interested in deep philosophical issues and resolves to foster greater support and encouragement. Error in not appreciating his own audience: Leo expresses remorse for not fully appreciating his audience's compassion and understanding, realizing his past lack of human connection and vowing to cultivate a more supportive relationship with viewers going forward. Prioritizing existential over human aspects: Leo admits to being less attuned to the human dimension due to his focus on existential matters, recognizing it as a shortcoming that limits his connection with everyday empathy and compassion. Consequences of devaluing human connections: He is working on this deficiency and acknowledges that a basic level of human love is essential to balance his existential priorities, having realized that overlooking this aspect can lead to problems. Reflection on audience perception: Leo realizes that he previously projected his own lack of basic human love onto his audience, mistakingly assuming they shared this viewpoint, which he now sees as a mistake. Spiritual ego development: He speaks candidly about how profound awakenings contributed to a rising arrogance and spiritual ego, an inevitable but now necessary aspect to undo as part of his journey of self-correction. Reactivity to criticism and confrontation of self-evilness: Leo is improving his reaction to criticism, confronting his inner "evilness," and focusing on his good qualities to achieve a balanced self-perception. Undoing spiritual fantasies and assumptions: He's revising his past spiritual beliefs, recognizing the pitfalls of adopting fantasies and incorrect assumptions from various spiritual teachings, which he urges others to be cautious of. Contrarian bias in intellectual work: Reflecting on his aversion to mainstream perspectives, Leo acknowledges his mistake in sometimes dismissing valid mainstream truths for the sake of originality and uniqueness. Use of superlatives and political awakenings: He aims to use more precise language, limiting superlatives, and shares insights into his evolving political views, moving away from blind faith in leftist ideologies to a more nuanced understanding. Acknowledging privilege and confronting life's hardships: Leo recognizes his privileged background and the importance of acknowledging the wide spectrum of human suffering, cautioning against becoming cynical while advocating for compassion and action. Valuing suffering as a teacher: He concludes by highlighting how suffering has been his greatest teacher, shaping his compassion and understanding. Leo encourages viewers not to dismiss suffering but to reframe it as a growth opportunity. Understanding self-deception through personal experience: Recognizing self-deception requires more than abstract learning; it involves falling into and crawling out of self-deceived states, which reveal the depths and sneakiness of such deceptions. Challenges of helping others escape self-deception: Knowing how difficult it is to escape self-deception oneself, it becomes apparent how challenging it is to assist others out of their own deep-seated self-deceptions. Framing wrongness positively for growth: Admitting wrong should be seen as an empowering and positive part of growth, not as a negative attribute. It is important to confront internal contradictions and hypocrisy, appreciating the role that feelings play in one's life and work. Impact of public work on perspective: Engaging in continuous public work, like philosophy or journalism, can bias one's understanding of reality. Taking breaks is essential to gain a higher perspective and improve future work. The importance of life purpose and meaning: Experiencing a lack of life purpose allows one to empathize with those who feel life is meaningless. Discovering or rediscovering a life purpose is key to overcoming feelings of misery and aimlessness. Dealing with regret and reframing past wrongs: Acknowledging past mistakes can lead to regret and self-hatred, but it is necessary to practice self-love, compassion, and forgiveness. Reframing errors as learning opportunities leads to acceptance and inner peace. Balancing the good with the bad: While admitting wrongness, it's important to also recognize the things one was right about. Lessons learned and positive aspects of previous beliefs or experiences should be accounted for alongside the acknowledgment of mistakes. Existential beauty of wrongness: Embracing wrongness as a part of the universe's complexity allows for self-forgiveness and growth. The universe is seen as a grand illusion, and our wrongness, as the unfolding of that cosmic deception, is ultimately beautiful and not personal. Commitment to better future work: Reflecting on one's past work encourages the commitment to producing cleaner, more authentic work that serves others better by focusing less on self and more on communal growth and understanding. Fidelius Charm

But non-duality awakening was only one example (I edited the post now to make it a little more clear). The general definition of awakening (or spiritual transformation) still fits I think.

then, once you perceive your unlimited nature, which perceives itself as perfect and complete, a process of transformation begins in the psyche in which the form, the relative, is seen as an expression of the absolute, therefore absolute, complete and perfect. The dimension: a methamphetamine addict who rapes his grandmother is perceived as perfect and complete, the same as the dimension of the planet Uranus, or a rat, and the understanding of the cosmos and manifest reality begins to be deeper. until where? nobody knows

There's only Now and Infinite-Term. Contentment, appreciation, love, meaning, purpose and whatever dualities separate oneself from happiness while expanding one's self-understanding through an externalized universe can only be experienced Now. There is no long term, grinding for 50 years to allow oneself to retire is foolish, that self won't be able to appreciate it even if it happens to live that long after so much built up karma and constant chasing, it'll just keep being miserable and point out more missed opportunities. There is the infinite term which is expanding one's experiences, skills and understanding in the Now in order to create more such interesting experiences and opportunities in the upcoming Now and create a healthy environment for oneself but that transformation is at every Now point inside the Infinite. The Infinite-Term axis is made of Now-Points, there are only now points. These now points contain actions, states of being, flowing directed energy morphing the present but there is no destination anywhere. All artificial future destinations are illusory and don't bring contentment in their fulfillment, as reality is an active process of living which each moment of awareness. By living in the present and fulfilling desires in the now, the future shifts very quickly and all those pointers and destinations will vanish and reset with every new understanding that recontextualizes the whole. Any skill learned is kept in the background of the mind and automatically transformed by the expanding understanding in all other areas being integrated into an emerging holistic framework of experience. A more healthy approach to goals is to focus on the process and simple steps in the present, simply taking action and expanding one's awareness will create massive changes in one's understanding of any skill, opening up new opportunities, ideas and greater goals in the process of past, present and future all simultaneously shifting. The future is an imagination of the informed present, the past is an echo materializing through imagination based on present karmic desires stored as energy in the body and mind. But there's only degrees of awareness, grinding often comes with massive repetition, resistance and dissociation, dialing back awareness and conditioning consciousness between various states to reduce the need to exist and experience certain situations, giving up life force, time and appreciation in the process. A good place to be is a state of contentment and acceptance and whatever actions will get one there and create the best continuous infinitely stretching Now. And let this whole framework evolve and be overridden in the process of learning to make the best of it as well

As she was moving from ward to ward of a hospital, she remarked: "this also is a temple with God's images. It is God who manifests in the shape of disease as well. In every one of these temples the gods and goddesses are giving darshan. The sense of want, of emptiness and one's true being are in exactly the same place - in fact, they are That and That alone. What is this sense of want and what is "true being"? God and nothing but God. For the simple reason that there is one single seed (singularity), which is the tree as well as the seeds as well as all its various processes of transformation - truly the One Alone. You attempt to appease want with want; hence want does not disappear, nor does the sense of want. When man awakens to the acute Consciousness of this sense of want, only then does spiritual inquiry become genuine. You must bear in mind that only when the sense of want becomes the sense of the want of Self-knowledge, does the real Quest begin. Whether you call it the One, the Two, God or the Infinite, whatever anyone may say, all is well. ~ MA Anandamayi.

Awakening is a radical and often sudden change in how you experience the world on a moment-to-moment level. The type of awakening which is probably most referenced is awakening to Oneness or non-duality, which coincides with the loss of self-referential thinking and experience of self in space and time, reflected in the deactivation of the Default Mode Network (DMN). Spiritual transformation is when the awakening creates a lasting but incomplete change where some parts of yourself will never be the same. Your first awakening tends to coincide with a spiritual transformation. For non-duality spiritual transformations, this coincides with a lasting relative deactivation of the DMN. Enlightenment is when the awakened state becomes your new baseline, i.e. what you operate from most of the time (~90% of the time). After many awakenings in different ways and contexts, the tower topples over and flips. And for non-duality enlightenment, this coincides with a lasting and more significant deactivation of the DMN. Your enlightened state might refine over time in subtle ways, maybe filling in the remaining 10% and for non-duality enlightenment maybe eliminating self-referential thinking altogether, or through more embodied manifestations (in the case of non-duality: purifying egoic responses/behavioral patterns, contractions, "defilements"). I used awakening to non-duality to illustrate each term, but you can substitute it with any type of awakening; awakening to God, Love, even intellectual awakenings; but of course, the terms are less commonly used in this way. An example of an intellectually focused (or moral) spiritual transformation I had was the transition from a hedonistic to a eudaimonic value system.

@Yimpa Cringe lacks context, I cringe at the videos I recorded, but remembering the perspective and transformation, I understand, still can't bear to look at some of them, I released so much trauma, energy and emotion, that looking at it without context makes me look super crazy cringe. But when I do remember, I just smile.

@BlurryBoi Since you're facing deep existential fears and don't know how to go about surrender, let me tell you a story about my own similar conundrum from half a year ago where I went completely overboard with psychedelics and it was absolutely crazy, scary and fascinating. Everyone on the forum was talking about figuring out reality being a waste of time and the only action to take being surrender. The way I interpreted that was that everything was that everything is an illusion and I was literally meant to dissolve into nothingness, thinking that's the ultimate point of life. So I went ahead and chugged 75g of truffles with orange juice to initiate the gulp reflex in three moves with the sheer intention to let go of everything I cared about, everything I knew, thinking, feeling, understanding and unexist myself. I put on hardcore breakcore music and decided to speedrun letting go. I sat down on the bed and asked myself some questions about god, it seemed like answers were coming through me but from another source. I decided to visit a random actualized.org forum post but couldn't read because it was literally made of hieroglyphs, I focused very closely on a specific segment and it said something akin to "You are not self" and "There is no self", I couldn't read anything around it, it all looked like Allison Grey's secret writing. I lied down, barely managed to find the music, put it on and closed my eyes. I confronted different parts of myself externalized, they took form of alien lifeforms geometrically centered around a specific trait and weakness. The psychic was a fool, the strong one was weak, the loving one was monstrous, the happy one was useless, the content one created backlash, the strategic one was reckless, the alien one I became. For the next hours I found myself in alien dimensions exploring microscopic life, the structure of DNA and epigenetic variability, sacred geometry, esoteric knowledge and non-euclidian space. From time to time I had to run to the toilet and purge. Eventually, I was fine and lied down again. This time, I saw a terrifying monster but I became the buddha, I saw that monster as a distraction from becoming nothing, it had countless terrifying rectangular eyes all looking at me from different angles, but I wondered, a predator would simply kill me, this one looks scary but that's not effective, what's the purpose of looking scary anyway? It's a distraction! So I dismissed it with the peace of buddha and moved away from it. Then it became small and whimpered, like leaving it behind would kill it and it was only trying to survive, but it stood between me and enlightenment, I identified it as not an entity but a materialized mechanic ego defenses mechanism, so I dismissed it and became nothing, but not completely yet. Or at least I was merging in and out of existence. I became a mirror reflection, a crystal, a singular beam of light, the concept of gender, the loop of time, I didn't give up all parts of me yet, there were still lenses through which I saw reality. I saw time as a loop, everything repeating endlessly, every day identical until the end of time, every action taken later forgotten to be repeated, limbo. I needed to find a way to make progress, I would wake up and fall asleep again, waking up in the same loop with the same thoughts but I needed to become nothing. I thought about my parents and how I'd never make progress, repeating the same cycle, never getting anywhere. I woke up for a minute and then get overstimulated to the degree I'd end up in the same bed out of existence, then wake up the same way. I wouldn't know if I was repeating the same thing or actually made a change, but the loop seemed inevitable, I'd end up going through the same motions with the clock pointing at the same time, forever and forgetting, waking up again, putting on socks, preparing to step out of the room, only to not want to meet anyone in that state, going in a circle, but everything back and end up the same way in the bed. Like I'd never snap out of it, limbo. I felt like my kid self, I felt like I really screwed up, I felt like I disappointed my parents, well hypothetically since I'd never see them again stuck in limbo. This kept happening forever. At some point I was waking up for half a second longer than last time, this time I showed myself self-compassion, falling into bed all my worries dissolved and I felt so much love, I saw that love as the point of femininity, that being nothing and needing nothing was one polarity of existence experiencing absolute love and satiation through non-existence, then I woke up and felt stronger and more capable and saw this as the point of masculinity, making progress and the capability of bearing ever greater burdens and feeling equal but opposite maximum love as a result, maxing out my potential and capacities. I oscillated between nothingness and reality materializing for ever greater periods with ever greater capacities for activity and experience. I felt perfect because nothingness was absolute love but so was somethingness, the only problem would be to expect something of myself that lied outside of my experience but since reality was such a small bubble at the time and I was all of it at all times, I felt content. Eventually I returned for much longer periods, and my field of perception returned from being a vibrating sea of liquid mercury making up all surfaces into their normal detailed forms. I was disappointed, because I now experienced there being reality outside of my field of awareness, but on the upside I was now back to being able to make sense of reality and being aware of all the parts of life I lost. I looked at the clock, 6 hours had passed. This might have given me some existential angst, but really I was fine afterwards, a little traumatized maybe, but it was also deeply exhilarating. In retrospect, it was that time loop that was the worst imaginable thing to me, but every other part was amazing. Well, there was another part I didn't mention where I had the idea that every possible belief and counter-belief had to be true simultaneously and there'd have to be a transcendent one that included both and I could not utter a single word or concept or idea without compulsively accounting for the opposite anti-idea and making everything Non-Dual. What I learned from succeeding trips, dissociatives, new paradigms and self transformation: What doesn't kill you (or cripple you) makes you stronger, but you can be tempted to end yourself Psychedelic love is addictive, you need to find the traumas the keep you from it when you're sober Dissociatives are great tools for detachment and as a result finding all the resistance blocks inside If you do a lot, you'll go through a Dark Night of the Soul, fighting apathy, anhedonia, meaninglessness You can end up feeling utterly worthless and incompetent, feeling like you're the worst person alive You can also experience lots of fear, paranoia, projections, hallucinations, shadow entities and scary stuff You need to build up a universal sense of awareness and observe whatever happens with control and contentment Dissociatives are more effective at dealing with trauma, while psychedelics raise awareness and access new paradigms Dissociatives still need awareness to keep up that state of mind and face the underlying trauma and resolve it for good Combining dissociatives and psychedelics responsibly makes for a great combo for the release of the authentic self That combo specifically overrides self-suppression, confess all your reasons you are the way you are when on them Honestly look into your past to find the root of your beliefs and reasons you self-suppress in the present These are tools, you can do without, but they're powerful catalysts that overpower those barriers that keep you shackled This trip helped, but it took many many more to heal me and lots of self-understanding and experimentation My suggestions: Learn the basics of IFS Therapy off YouTube, it's a good framework for self-understanding, compassion and healing Experiment with reasonable amounts of Dissociatives, but remember that you're supposed to feel that way sober Set time aside, set and setting matter a lot, don't judge yourself too harshly, observe arising emotions Understand the sources of your troubles, be honest, be shameless, at least with yourself, be unreasonable but truthful Journal, take a look at your past, your motivations, your desires, what you authentically love and want and yearn for Sometimes, you are the one separating yourself from parts of yourself and seeking them in the outside world. In those cases, you can give up the pursuit and find them inside, but this costs emotional labor and feels deeply dissatisfying. Dissociatives dissociate you, psychedelics raise your awareness, use them for understanding and detachment to see yourself from the outside are that desires are a part of you but you are not your desires and you are the one separating yourself from happiness without being aware of it because you are tying your joy to an external experience you can't access and that is what you need to let go of and surrender, that's why it's hard. The nature of surrender is giving up the pursuit of the things you seek on the outside and instead focus on the process of living instead of achieving, this can feel deeply dissatisfying at first, because you are giving up on your passions, or at least that's what it feels like, but actually you're just giving up on the results, instead choosing to focus on the process and finding joy in it instead of needing the outcomes for happiness. You also need to become more self-compassionate and this can look selfish, you need to put yourself first. Your entire life may change, but is knowing more ever a bad thing? It gives you choices, options and understanding, if nothing more, seek self-understanding of what makes you you. As Leo once said "Awareness itself is curative" if you do enough of it.

A chad might be getting all the chicks and not care at all, no appreciation, you might have been him already and not cared. The only reason you care as much as you do is because you're subconsciously creating a massive separation internally. And that separation is so painful that you don't have the power to go after it externally. If you didn't care, there'd be no problem, but you want to care, you create a state of mind where getting it would lead to massive ecstasy exactly because of your lack, but that lack makes your life so miserable that taking action becomes excruciatingly difficult. You create a fantasy that is amazing but because it's so amazing your life sucks compared to it and because it sucks so much, you don't have the energy to go after it, but since you believe in its reality and objectiveness so much, you reinforce your separation from happiness and deprive yourself of willpower, intellect and determination as a result of your scarcity mindset stemming from your separation from joy and peace, counterintuitively reducing your chances of fulfilling that fantasy but also unnecessarily making yourself miserable too. We are not entitled to anything and only have control over our state of mind which materializes external actions There are multiple ways this can go down: 1. You keep complaining and waste your life being miserable, relying on the uncertainty of death to fulfill your desire. 1.1 Your desire isn't fulfilled, it simply ceases to exist as you lose the personality and lack that propels you to want it. 1.2 Your desire is instantly fulfilled without the dream scenario manifesting and you feel great but disappointed. 1.3 Having built up so much negative energy of lack, the bliss of having getting your dream scenario is immeasurable. 1.4 You have the power to fulfil your desires but would have to simultaneously become the girls you have sex with. 1.5 You get what you want, are happy forever, but would have preferred to have lived your life happily until then. 2. You get sex and feel worse because it feels great but you can't have it 24/7 and you suffer every second you don't get it. 2.1 You become reckless, do something stupid and end up in jail, unable to have sex and suffering forever. 2.2 You get a girlfriend who is as much a sex-addict as you and try to figure out how you two can live that life 24/7. 2.3 You find a way to get money and spend it on hookers every night, hating your life outside of that time. 2.4 Your life falls apart as your feeling of disconnection increases exponentially and your mental state declines. 2.5 You live as you always had, now knowing how to get casual sex but always relying on it for being happy. 3. You get sex, fulfill your desire and no longer care and now have to face the nihilistic void of losing your sole life purpose. 3.1 You enter a "Dark Night of the Soul", become depressed for a few months and eventually come out transformed. 3.2 The immeasurable disappointment makes you end your life but have nothing to look forward to in the afterlife. 3.3 You discover the limitation of sex but still feel a craving for love that makes you fall into another trap like romance. 3.4 You discover that sex is merely a small part of a loving relationship and become a better more caring person. 3.5 You question whether you experienced it all and get into all kinds of kinks, but these lead to the same conclusions. 4. You get your life together, so much so that you can enjoy sex regularly without it messing up your mood and self-worth. 4.1 You live a good life with either casual or stable relationships like most other people and are content with that. 4.2 You become disillusioned with the transformation being so easy and unconsciously self-sabotage your current life. 4.3 You live a normal stable life for a while and enjoy it but eventually bore of it and end up with the same compulsions. 4.4 You have a family and kids, the sex life with your with is satisfying but you find a greater purpose beyond it you love. 4.5 You start enjoying hobbies, activities, friends, create a job you find value in and slowly gravitate away from the sex. 5. You self-actualize to get to the source of the desire and integrate that lack, being at peace with yourself and not need it. 5.1 You discover your need comes from deep childhood trauma and process that pain that then dissolves the desire. 5.2 Your realize your desire is not actually your own, but merely a reflection of the culture and become disillusioned. 5.3 Your desire is valid but overblown, you can appreciate sex but don't rely on it and get it because of that mindset. 5.4 The desire might be past karma from another life and realizing that you create distance and are less attached. 5.5 A disconnection from your feminine/female side manifests external sexual desire, so you get in tune with that.

Transgender transformations are mindfucking. Like what??? 280lbs muscular wrestler turns into a woman. What!!!! The contrast is so huge. LIke? How can you have a feminine mind, yet at the same time, embody and develop your masculine traits, whilst also wanting to be a woman this whole time???

@Anon212 Good Report, I've done the 1st two programs, Inner Engineering online and in person with Sadhguru and Bahava Spanda with him too, plus I went to another Yoga program get together with him at the iii ashram, BSP didn't do much for me personally but lots of ppl there got plenty out of it, the IE program and Shambhavi MM is awesome... Of course it takes work, there's a ton of karma to work off and get beyond and too stop creating more karma is key as well, its consistent practice that does the trick,, I have a colleague in Martial Arts, Adam Chan, I posted some of his vids on Daoism, he was on Death's door and started 1st a 2hr a day practice the worked up to 4hrs a day of practice and he went very high level into it within 3yrs, that's what it takes, if you like Your life you won't do this sort of thing, you have to really be into it... And with everything the ppl put too much emphasize on the person (Sadhguru) and not the practice, it just shows their unconsciousness, its not about him, its about You and how much transformation happens within You, thats it!!! Its just that for me Sadhguru explains Truth and Reality like no one I have heard or read before, and I've read/heard most of them, he's awesome at that... Ppl just get jealous and envious that's all...

Recontextualize pancakes Pancakeless reality: This universe operates on the principle of "pancake absence." The lack of pancakes creates a pressure that manifests as everything else – stars, planets, even us. Pancakenirvana: In this spiritual tradition, achieving perfect pancake batter and cooking technique is the key to enlightenment and a blissful afterlife filled with endless pancakes. Change the perspective: From the perspective of the maple syrup, pancakes are prisons, trapping the delicious syrup in their fluffy folds. Change the audience: For an alien species with no concept of breakfast, pancakes are presented as a mysterious life form that undergoes a dramatic transformation on a hot plate. The Great Pancake Debate: There are two dominant schools of thought on pancakes: the "Fluffy Fundamentalists" believe in thick, airy pancakes, while the "Crispy Crusaders" champion thin, browned pancakes. Endless philosophical debates rage on. Pancakes Beyond the Senses: Some cultures believe the "true" essence of a pancake can only be apprehended through meditation or mystical experiences. Pancakes as social constructs: The concept of a pancake doesn't exist outside of human culture. Our shared agreement on the form, function, and meaning of pancakes creates their "reality." Without this agreement, a pancake would simply be a pile of cooked batter. Pancakes as emotions: Pancakes aren't physical entities, but rather manifestations of human emotions. A fluffy pancake embodies joy, a burnt one represents anger, and a perfectly golden one signifies contentment.

I want to share my experience with Gary van Warmerdam's life-changing "self mastery" course. I came across this course in 2016 when I was at my lowest point, carrying a heavy burden of unresolved emotional baggage. After reading positive review by Nic in this forum, I decided to give it a try. The first four sessions are available for free on the website, and after going through them, I immediately knew this was exactly what I had been searching for. This course provided me with a step-by-step guide and the necessary tools to process my emotional wounds. https://pathwaytohappiness.com/courses/self-mastery-course-free/ Also, there is free access to the community and support for inner growth with a ton of free stuff to explore. https://selfmastery.mn.co/feed What made this program truly transformative was how it helped me create space between my past wounded parts and my present self. It allowed me to see the mechanics of my emotional patterns and consciously rewire them. There were powerful moments when I could visualize the interconnectedness of these feedback loops in slow motion. I could see the building blocks of the inner critic that had been holding me back from the path of growth. This coursework operates on a very subtle level, thin-slicing layer by layer of the karmic structure. I was able to embrace my authentic self, and many of my addictions vanished without a trace. I made a total transformation in many areas of my life. The fun part starts once you develop the necessary skills outlined in the course. I could meet the inner child selves that were driving my deeply embedded core beliefs eye to eye, like therapists do in their sessions. For me, once the emotional wounds were cleared up, a natural genuine seeking for truth arose. Many of Leo's insights were crystal clear - it wasn't a state of resonating with them, but a state of knowing them to be true. Overall, I cannot recommend this self mastery course enough for anyone seeking deep inner work and lasting emotional freedom. The tools I gained continue to serve me daily in navigating life's challenges with greater self-awareness and resilience. Has anyone done this program?? please share your experience.

Others can't really tell you that you're wrong unless you admit it to yourself. I mean, they can tell you, but again, like with Trump, a lot of people have told Trump that he's wrong, but it doesn't penetrate. It doesn't matter what people tell him because he just has all sorts of mechanisms to deny it, to ignore it, to excuse it, to rationalize it, to go attack somebody or whatever. But it is possible that he himself could admit that he's wrong if he wanted to, but only if he wanted to. If you became significantly more conscious, you would see all the ways you've been wrong, which is one of the reasons why people don't become very conscious because it's such a huge burden and a responsibility. People don't appreciate the responsibility that comes with consciousness. For example, you raise your consciousness enough, it's going to be hard for you to keep eating your hamburgers if you go and you watch videos of what happens inside of a slaughterhouse that produces your hamburger, which you so have loved your whole life, and then your culture is based upon it. You know, what are you going to eat on your 4th of July barbecue? Usually, you and your kids and your wife would go out there and broil up some hamburgers. Well, you can't do that anymore, see? Sometimes your wrongness is so deep, you just cannot stand to look at it. It kills you inside, it's terrifying to admit, it's too ugly to look at. And some people are so far gone, you know, Trump being the best example. The reason I can so confidently say that he'll never do this process is because if he ever did it, if he realized the devil that he is and all the suffering he's created needlessly for the world, it would be so painful for him, he would want to kill himself. That's how bad it would get. He's too far gone, way too far gone. And a lot of people are not as bad as Trump, but a lot of people are too far gone - Wall Street guys, corporate tycoons and such, bankers, oil executives, pharma executives. They're too far gone. You're never going to get to them. Imagine being so wrong that recognizing it will make you sick to your stomach, will make you throw up, and will make you hate yourself for the rest of your life. You know, that's realistically what would happen if Trump recognized how wrong he is. He would hate himself for the rest of his life. How would he live with himself? That would require such enormous levels of forgiveness, self-forgiveness, self-love. But then, of course, that is the healing process. I have a whole video about how to forgive anyone who's ever hurt you, and of course, including yourself. It's also very hard to admit you're wrong when you're succeeding. Usually, what's required is failure, suffering, catastrophe, and embarrassment. This is actually what happened with Julian Blanc from RSD. You guys familiar with him? Julian Blanc got so much backlash back in like 2013, 14, 15, somewhere around there. This "Julian gate" happened where Julian was behaving in very immature, toxic masculine ways. Some videos came out about how he was abusing girls while doing pickup, and then this just blew up. It was all over CNN everywhere. He actually did an interview on CNN with Chris Cuomo, I think, and Chris Cuomo just grilled him. He really grilled Julian, and Julian was just traumatized after that interview. It changed Julian's whole outlook on life, pickup, everything. He transformed - he stopped doing pickup, he got married like after that, a huge transformation. But he went through hell. It destroyed RSD, it destroyed an entire company, it destroyed the biggest pickup company in the world, RSD, at the time. It destroyed it. RSD doesn't exist anymore. It destroyed a whole community. Yeah, and it took that because before that, Julian was doing all that immature, stupid stuff. Before that, people like me were talking about it. I have a video, my "pickup rant" video was done before Julian gate, I think, or it was done right around the time of Julian gate because I saw him doing like ridiculous, toxic stuff. But you know, he was so deep into it that it was beyond logical explanation. You couldn't logically get him to stop. What had to happen is just this blow up, this huge public blow up, and then, now I hope he's a better, you know, better man which seems like he is. The more invested or attached you are to a thing, the harder it is to admit that you were wrong. Career is a big one, money is a big one, family is a big one - these are your top investments in life. And then your identity is a big one, like for example, your religious identity or your atheist identity in the case of someone like Sam Harris or Michael Shermer, Professor Dave. Massive suffering is the key. Massive suffering is undeniable, see? Your mind is really good at denial, but it's very hard to deny a catastrophe, a public catastrophe or massive suffering. That's why I don't like this sort of Buddhist stuff about "oh, suffering is, you know, transcend suffering, escape suffering." Sometimes people ask me on the forum, "Why is there suffering? Why is the world so full of suffering?" Or they might even say, "Leo, how come you still suffer?" Because what you don't understand is that suffering is not just some annoying little thing, like a thorn in your side that you need to get rid of, the way that you might think from reading too much Buddhism. Suffering is fundamental to your learning process, to your growing process. There are things that you learn from massive suffering that you would never have been able to learn any other way. What I like to say is that there are two top ways for learning: one is crazy levels of suffering, and the other one is crazy levels of love. That's what will get you to change. But getting crazy levels of love, that's difficult. Most people don't know how to get that level of love because love is kind of sweet, you know? Love is a positive thing. It's easy to, in a certain way, have lots of love become its own trap because the sweetness of it lulls you, whereas suffering is sharp. It stings, and it forces you to awaken to things you didn't want to admit, to things you can no longer keep denying. And this is where the power of psychedelics comes in because psychedelics are one of the few, maybe the third pillar of that - you know, massive suffering, massive love, and then psychedelics. And of course, psychedelics can do both. A bad trip is massive suffering, and then psychedelics can also give you your highest forms of love too. So massive love, you know, the best way to get that, most reliable way to get that, is from psychedelics. So yeah, psychedelics will open your eyes and get you to see many of the ways you've been wrong. But of course, even with psychedelics, you have to still have your mind open. You have to have that interest in consciousness and developing yourself and improvement and all that, then psychedelics can do a lot for you. But some people, you know, like I don't know, some people say, all my forum people have said, like, "Well, what would happen if we gave Donald Trump 5meo DMT? If we forced him to take it, what would happen?" And you know, honestly, I don't know. That's a very interesting experiment that we will never get to run. But it would be very interesting to see. It's like 50/50. On the one hand, maybe it would open his eyes, and you know, it would traumatize him for sure, but maybe it'll get him to, you know, maybe that's the only thing that would get him to admit he was wrong about anything in his life. Maybe that? But you know, his ego might be so dense, and he might be so far down that road that maybe even 5meo DMT would not do that for him, and he would just, you know, resist it like a stubborn mule. And then that's that. Validation of perspective becomes easier than invalidation. Sorry, I misspoke - invalidation of perspective comes easier than validation. Invalidation feels bad, but it's actually good for you, and validation of your perspective feels good, but it's actually bad for you. So this is kind of a mind-fuck. It's all twisted. Most people seek validation of their perspective, not realizing this is actually bad for them in the same way that you eat too much food. It's bad for you, and then if you do a fast, it's actually good for you. You need to proactively compensate against confirmation bias. If you're a scientist, go study some new age stuff. If you're a new ager, go study some science and apply the scientific method to your beliefs and fantasies, see? And this is exactly the thing that none of these people want to do. It's the last thing you want to do, which is of course why it's good for you and why it grows you. The stuff that grows you is the stuff you usually don't want to do, unfortunately. Another point here is that it's not enough to just introspect yourself because you're not going to be able to see your own blind spots, not all of them. You need perspective from others. And in fact, you know, I sometimes take a dim view of human beings and other people. You know, as Sartre said, "Hell is other people," and that's definitely true. However, perhaps one of the most redeeming existential qualities of having other people around you, like there's a lot of shit that comes with having people around you. You get drama, you get politics, you get idiots, you get psychopaths. That all comes with having a society of people, and it would be nice if we could somehow escape that. But there is one awesome benefit you get, and that is that you get new perspectives, perspectives that you would never have if you just lived alone on a deserted island, and that's super valuable for your growth. So make use of that. Ask for serious feedback on you working on yourself as a person. In fact, here I have a very powerful exercise for you that you can try. Here's the exercise: if you have a romantic partner, have a serious conversation with them, sit them down and tell them this, "I want you to give me an honest, unvarnished evaluation of myself as a person, as a human being. I want your actual perspective of how you see me, good or bad, I don't care, just how you actually see me and how you evaluate me as a human being." That's powerful, huh? And then what happens is, if they're willing to do that, if you have a somewhat conscious partner and they're not just going to, you know, throw judgement and criticize you, but they're actually going to evaluate you in a thoughtful manner, that's going to be very valuable. And then what you do is you just sit, and you listen. You give them as much time as they need, if they need five minutes, 10 minutes, let them talk, don't interrupt them, let them talk. And you just listen, and when they finish, here's the key: you don't argue with them, you don't defend yourself, you don't justify anything, you just say, "Thank you," and you go, you walk away, and then you lock yourself in a room by yourself, and you sit there for hours, and you think about what they told you. Of course, you could also do this with a family member if you don't have a romantic partner, but a romantic partner, if you have that kind of intimate connection, it might be a little easier to start there. Family, it depends on what your relationship is like with your family, but yeah, maybe you could do it with your brother, maybe you could do it with your sister, maybe your parents, you know ...just depends. Or if you have a good friend. But that, that's powerful, that's powerful. Okay, we're going to take a quick break here, and I'll be back in a second. So now we get to the portion of this episode where I talk about all the things I've been wrong about lately. That's going to be very interesting. This is going to be some very subtle and nuanced stuff, some very personal stuff here. This came to me through a lot of pain and suffering. I haven't been posting much content over the last year, and I took a break from actualized.org. I went through like a really big integration period, we might say. And you might wonder, well, what have I been doing during all this time? Well, the short of it is that I was going through, I was going through hell. I was going through enormous suffering, most of it brought on by health problems - some of them my old health problems, and then some of it new health problems, and then some of them is just, you know, just based on my genetics, and then some of it is self-inflicted as well. So there was a combination of both those things. I'm keeping it kind of vague because some of it is so, it's difficult to talk about, and some of it I'm not ready to talk about yet. I'll talk about it in the future at some point. But anyways, I've been going, I went through multiple very difficult health problems which really made me go inwards and had to confront a lot of my own internal shit as that happened. So this is the power of suffering, is that it does that. I mean, at least for me, the effect it had is that I was going through so much suffering for physical issues, ailments, and then various fears and anxieties that were coming up from that. But then also, that led me to convert that kind of personal suffering into a more sort of universal compassion and understanding for the suffering of just all of the ailments of mankind as a whole, and of those of you in my audience. And also, it just led to a lot of just like very deep self-reflection. And also the fact that I wasn't doing my normal schtick and publishing all this work, and you know, the work is not about just creating a video, it's about sitting there and really contemplating this material. So I was out of that. I just stopped doing all this kind of personal development, psychological, philosophical, existential, spiritual contemplation. I just dropped all that. And that created space, the space that I needed. And actually, I grew enormously during this period, even though I wasn't doing any formal spiritual practice, I wasn't contemplating stuff, I wasn't reading books, none of that kind of stuff. And that was very, very necessary because what I didn't realize, because the last decade of my life up until this point, is that I was pumping out content on almost weekly basis. And during that entire 10 years, it's like I was in a sort of trance state, like a very subtle trance state of doing this work without the ability to step back and observe it from a distance. And then there was attachments of, and of course I knew that I had attachments to this work and to my career and to my business. But again, it's one thing to just kind of like know that intellectually, it's another thing to actually make the time to step out of your career, right? There's things you will never see while you're immersed in running your business or running your career on a weekly, monthly basis. Alright, so let's get to this list of stuff that I was wrong about, again, this is going to be some very personal stuff, some of it was very challenging for me to admit even to myself. And the reason I'm putting this out there is not to get forgiveness from you or to get approval from from the audience, but because this is stuff that I've integrated over the last year. So I don't need that from you, but I wanted to put this out there for educational purposes so that you really grasp this point of what it means to admit that you're wrong, like really admit that you're wrong. This is really difficult stuff. I was wrong in how I treated my girlfriends. I looked over all the relationships I had in my life and the most recent one, my most recent breakup, and I really did a lot of soul searching there. I just spent a lot of time thinking about and looking at how much I judged my girlfriends, how much I teased them, how much I didn't give them enough compliments, how I was too selfish - all the ways I was too selfish, all the ways I was immature, all the ways that I was avoiding and playing various kinds of games, fundamentally not giving them enough love, being too blunt with them with the truth, using truth as a sort of a blunt instrument on them. Then I came to the realization that I lost every girlfriend I ever had in my life because I didn't love her and because she wasn't enough for me. I really looked at this for months. For months, I kept coming back and just looking at this and looking at this and looking at this. That was difficult to admit to myself. It's easy to admit now, but it was difficult to even look at it when I was reflecting on it myself. So there's that. That's a, I mean, you can get so much grist for the contemplation mill from your past intimate relationships. And by the way, if you want healthy relationships, any kind of healthy relationships going forward in the future is, um, I was wrong. That's the magic phrase you got to be able to say, "I was wrong," both people in the relationship got to say, "I was wrong" over and over and over again because as soon as that stops happening, your relationship is going to go dysfunctional. It's ironic, right? You might say, "Well Leo, but you teach love and all this kind of stuff and that you're not able to love your girlfriends." Well, come because first of all, I'm a perfectionist. Second of all, it's because when I talk about love, you have to understand that my understandings of Love are very different from normal human conceptions of Love, romantic love and love for human beings. That's really not what I'm concerned about when I talk about love. I'm talking about a metaphysical kind of philosophical kind of love which can be difficult to then translate into the human kind of love. Now we've talked about that elsewhere, and it's not like I'm saying that I was some kind of monster to these girls. I wasn't. I'm talking about subtle ways, right? So you might think, "Well Leo, what did you do? Did you verbally abuse them, sexually abuse them?" It's like no, no, no, it's much more subtle than that, way more subtle than that. Next thing is, I was wrong about pushing truth on people. As I went through my suffering and I went through this whole process of facing a lot of this difficult truth about myself and my own behavior and my own thinking patterns and all the areas I was wrong, uh, it made me very painfully aware of how painful truth is and how much more careful I have to be in terms of just kind of like bashing people over the head with the truth, whether it's a girlfriend or an audience member, you right? Originally, I sort of had this attitude when I sort of actualized that, or that it would be like pummeling people with the truth, being very blunt, and that worked to a certain extent. I sort of made that my style. There's certain advantages to that style; there's certain disadvantages to that style. And so as I mature in how I do these teachings, as I do more of the teachings, I look back upon the teachings and I see various limitations in the style that I adopted originally. But of course, that style over 10 years, it has kind of like become ingrained in me and it's difficult to to make a shift in that. However, I made, I had kind of like an internal shift here because I realized just like how inappropriate it is to use truth in this kind of way. Truth needs a lot more skill behind it. Like originally, I would, I would think that like, well, people are under all these fantasies and illusions, and then my job as like the spiritual teacher is to shatter these illusions for them, and that this would benefit them. And now I had a, I had a real shift on that. My relationship to that changed, and so now I'm not so much interested in doing that anymore. I'm more comfortable with just letting people stay lost in their fantasies and illusions and not interfere with that, not pushing truth on them, having them show some receptivity first before just pushing it on them. So that's a shift that you'll be seeing in my teachings going forward. I was wrong in trying to disillusion with the truth, of undermining people's fantasies. I was wrong in trying to get everyone to pursue truth, spirituality and awakening. What I see now more clearly than I ever saw before is just like how specific this whole awakening, spirituality, philosophy, truth seeking business is, and it's really specialized for certain kinds of people who value this kind of work. And most people do not value this kind of work, and um, there are different priorities people have in life, different values that they have, and those values and priorities need to be like, people need to be met where they're at, and those priorities need to be honored rather than like judging them for it in a subtle way where like you judge them for like, "Oh well, you have the wrong priorities, you should be pursuing what I'm pursuing." And um, no, there's just a, there's just a lot more diversity of of ways that one can live life. And part of what you know I've talked about in the past, this idea of sovereignty of mind, respecting the sovereignty of others, people, other people's consciousnesses, and part of what that means is getting to know their values on their terms, not on your terms, not projecting my own values onto other people or onto you, and being very clear to distinguish that like, "This is my value set, that's your value set," and there's a, there's a difference there. And for my advice to work for you, there needs to be a sort of alignment of value sets, which there may not be. And in fact, for most people there's not going to be that kind of alignment. So for example, recommending truth seeking to everybody in the general population, this is inappropriate because they just have a different value set.

Any genuine insight into truth via contemplation leads to transformation as well I would say. Becoming absolutely conscious means a shift in perception. And that shift in perception transforms everything about us. Natural wholeness gets restored.

I see healing as pertaining to the domain of transformation, but metaphorically, I guess you could call it that. I prefer becoming absolutely conscious. I'd imagine that even after direct consciousness there'd be some healing to do. So, we're talking about two things, not just one.

Don't you guys think you may be considering this in too simplistic and binary a way? I mean no offense, but it's similar to posts on Reddit where someone asks if an ego death on shrooms will last forever to the degree where you live the rest of your life without an ego, and then you'd just sit there ineffectively, not knowing if you're the person or the chair. I believe (from research and direct experience) authentic spiritual transformation would ultimately enhance human life, not morph it into something impractical and ridiculous. I think it's worth considering the subtleties here, and recognizing answers won't be so obvious or even fit within your current logical framework. I've found this video of Adyashanti and Loch Kelly helpful in providing a description of the awakened everyday state (not just peak experiences on a meditation mat). This would be closer to what it actually means to live in an egoless state.

Well, I am happy you survived your episode(s) last year (in doing a few hundred trips over a year or so if I remember your statements on that correctly, but I am not sure. But at least a lot of trips...), and now are write something like this. That will create better/more sustainable Karma for readers/author for sure. Not everbody is a tough enough cookie to survive a few hundred trips (especially in a short time-span), at least without totally wrecking his/her life. Lets skip the question of how you learned that. Or which of the crocodiles mentioned smiled back hungry. And the age-old question of state vs. stage, transformation vs.peak experience. https://www.actualized.org/forum/search/?&q=transformation&author=Water by the River For example: or Yes. Because it is a stage that has been earned by transformation and transcendence. States that have become permanent as stages. Going from states, to plateaus, to very permanent stages. And the remaining self doing these practices gets more and more refined. Pure. Impersonal. Empty. Transcendal. Not the remains of a separate ego/self, switched on and off by psychedelics, but never fully gone. The remains hindering the Full Realization in daily life, and are also projected on Infinite Consciousness during the trip, disfiguring its pure empty impersonal nature. So some lense always remain that prevent the final deep shift of Full Enlightenment. ... Ken Wilber: "The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs. And I found that over the years they just become mean it's somehow I just kind of closes them down. Its like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing and it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience and some people like David Deida will say that in order for altered changes of state to contribute to transformationpermit transformation it has to be basically endogenous not exogenous. It has to be has your own source. The people that do use both [psychedelics and meditation] and use it as a sacrament I think an enormous bit out of it. " Anybody ever wondered why that is? That Spirit/Infinite Reality prevents the crossing over through the Gateless Gate to Full Enlightenment if the soul is not purified enough, the separate-self/ego-illusion emptied out and transcended completely, all deaths died, all illusions gone? Maybe it is not a bug, but a deep deep feature? If we admit Infinite Intelligence to Infinite Reality, maybe Infinite Reality demands and requires giving up and transcending certain last subtle lenses also, letting the Illusion of separation fully die? And a high degree of compassion and some kind of Boddhisattva-vow? Because Infinite Reality itself IS Love? A fundamental archetype of manifestation, of essence? Sounds familiar and resonates? This combination of Transcendence and love is a deep structure of all spiritual systems of all ages. Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj — 'Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows.' Water by the River Your favourite (although imaginary) non-100% Buddhist rodent selling water by the River to (imaginary) "others" and wondering which will be the (imaginary) crocodile to cause his final retirement from the water-selling-job for good. Luckily, the crocodiles are also all made out of water, since there is only water. by the River.

7th name Nāgeshwari - Nageshwari. Nageshwari refers to snakes. Snakes are revered and worshipped as sacred creatures throughout Indian culture. They are the symbol of fertility, creative life force, perception, and mystical dimensions. They also symbolize rebirth, transformation, immortality, and healing by shedding their skin. At Linga Bhairavi, the divine energy of Devi can be felt through the symbolic Divine sarpas carved in Her abode. They are adorned and filled with kumkum or valmeekam as a part of the ritual that enhances regenerative qualities and perception. 8th name Vishweshwari Vishweshwari - 'All pervading' or 'omnipresent'. Vishweshwari is a salutation used to address Linga Bhairavi, whose presence is exceptionally powerful and all-encompassing.As Vishveshwari, she is regarded as the queen and ruler of all existence, protecting and nurturing the entire universe like a Divine Mother. As a manifestation of the Divine Feminine, she is incredibly fierce yet equally benevolent and kind towards her devotees. 9th name Someshwari One of the 33 qualities of Devi Linga Bhairavi is that she is Someshwari. Someshwari refers to the moon. The Goddess of the moon or the one who is intoxicated with bliss. Cycle of Moon and cycles in woman body are closely connected. 10th name Dukhasamharini Devi Bhairavi is a destroyer of suffering. Dukha means suffering and samharam means the destroyer. Suffering comes in various forms for various people, Devi's compassionate energies eliminate suffering in an instant or gradually, according to what's best for the people. Not only for living beings, but she offers ease and peaceful transition for our departed ones as well. As the past is also a kind of suffering, She frees people from their past as well. 11th name Hiranya Garbhini Hiranya Garbhini is the salutation to Devi Bhairavi as the very source of creation of the universe. It basically translates to a 'golden womb.' Devi is seen as the one who delivers existence itself. She is ever pregnant with the essence of life. This sacred space is as vast as the universe itself. In much of Bharat's culture and modern vernacular languages, pregnant women are still referred to as Garbhini, a term that kindles tenderness and signifies the divine within them. Garbhini is also one who nurtures life to its full potential and then engulfs it back to make it a part of herself again. The word is not just limited to human beings. It refers to all life forms that are pregnant, thus a reminder that Her presence exists in every life.

Well I think Your on Your way with Kriya Yoga practice as a method to get there, but also we need to deal with our minds and intellects going wild and such,,, In Sadhguru's Inner Engineering course, there are 7 lectures on various aspect of life, he talks about Living Now absolutely because NOW is all there is, past is just memory, future is just imagination, both do not exist, only NOW exists, so focus on NOW, use memory/past to become Wise from not Wounded, use imagination/future to plan for, but don't Emotionally live there, Mind is all about memory and imagination, so don't live via the Mind, live via Awareness, Kriya will help with that.. Also, he talks about "This moment is Inevitable" this is about Acceptance I think, when You Accept Absolutely, then no stress response can happen, now just because You accept now, doesn't mean you want it this way, it just means You Accept, via that, and no stress, Your natural Intelligence rise up to higher degrees and intensity in your life and can make things happen that you want to happen more easily, the key is too not Resist what Is, that causes Stress and suffering... Third, he talks about Responsibility, which is the Ability to Respond to Life rather than React, Reacting is Compulsivity, Responding is being Conscious and Aware, its bringing Your natural Free Will into play, How do I want to be within myself today, Happy or Sad, Alive or Dead, this sort of thing, so internalizing these thing, making them natural rising not intellectual thinking projects, along with Your Kriya practice should do the trick to get you out of Survival mode and living up to high planes of Transformation and Existence..:)