Spiral Wizard

Yeah… another perspective in a similar direction is: Its a cry for help. He‘s basically saying: hey I‘m overwhelmed by anger and pain and no one had empathy. I didn’t know how to handle it / process these emotions so now I‘m crying for attention and help even louder by doing outlandish shit/becoming a villain. And then the German nazi quote at the end says: hey peeps I helped you for years with my music, please now help me. I bet he has no one in his friend circle who truly cares for him or knows how to hold him in his feelings, he feels cut off and alone in his pain… that’s the perfect breeding ground for becoming traumatized and a villain in his case. So yeah, he needs clear boundaries/limits (like psychiatric hospitalization) that push him back into his pain instead of acting it out and then real fucking good therapy.

Unfortunately, this is not a sketch but a fairly accurate video. It’s crazy to see how our rigged society and survival needs lead people to sacrifice their integrity and double down on their narrow self serving lives. Even though not everyone goes to the extent of scamming people so directly, it’s a spectrum of corruption and we are basically all on it. Hypothesis for contemplation: the degree to which you deceive others, is the degree to which you deceive yourself! Scammers are really scamming themselves because you need such a dishonest mind to do this with zest that there must be staggering amounts of dishonesty within yourself. That’s the beauty of ego design, it destroys itself. It cannot sustain itself and eventually falls into annihilation. But it may take a long ass time. The key is not to be free of corruption but to be completely conscious of corruption and still completely love it. That is what allows the underlying pain - which caused it - to surface and be processed. This pain process in turn annihilates the part that wants to be corrupt.

Misunderstanding. What you are describing is chasing consciousness out of ego/suppressed pain. Not consciousness. Consciousness is inclusive of survival. If you can’t be conscious while surviving and embracing survival your consciousness is limited & conditional. I’m aiming for unconditional not conditional. Meaning, being conscious in ANY condition like survival. Consciousness is about your relationship to what happens not what happens. IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT HAPPENS if you are truly and unconditionally conscious. That’s it. Re-frame your entire pursuit towards this / measure your believes against this (unconditional inner peace / consciousness) and you’ll purge all your misunderstandings over time. Also notice how avoiding anything is resistance to pain. Enlightenment happens when there is no more resistance to any form of pain/unwanted experiance.

PS.: a few words on practical limitations: How effective a meditation retreat is, can vary incredibly. As mentioned, I’ve been to powerful Vipassana & Darkroom retreats but they usually didn’t have a lasting effect whereas I recently did a 1-on-1 retreat with a guide who I talked to every day for 1-3 hours and it CHANGED MY LIFE! It was the first retreat that actually has had lasting changes (now, months later things are still effortlessly deepening in certain regards). Main reason is because he carefully dismantled so many of my sticking points. I would say receiving long term 1-on-1 guidance from an enlightened guide was A WHOLE NEW GAME/chapter in my spiritual journey. It’s categorically different. I cannot emphasize enough how much more effective it can be compared to everything else like reading books and going to group retreats. The following is practically impossible without a guide who reflects your blind spots to you and ‘holds your feet to the fire’ because that is a feature of the ego (ignorance and unwillingness): I will still say it here so you may know it’s possible eventually: If you are willing to relax into the pain of your inability to create that a desired state and the pain of being separated from any desired state you will be liberated into a higher truth/consciousness. Pain is what unifies and collapses polarities, freeing up energy, lifting oneself effortlessly into a higher perspective / clarity. Pain processing is passing through the eye of the needle 👁️

https://www.actualized.org/insights/wrong-state I agree with a lot of what Leo says here. And I probably would have come to the exact same conclusions after my Vipassana, darkroom retreat and psychedelic experiences because they were so powerful! But, I’ve had wise guides who stirred me back to center. They were able to help me pull myself out of IMPOSSIBLE CONFUSIONS which I would have remained stuck in without their guidance. So let me share the bottom line of what my conclusions have evolved into: It may be next to impossible to actually have deep insight & emotionally liberating experiance unless & until you’ve been to an intense meditation retreat or took psychedelics. These things are DOOR/EYE OPENERS! Absolutely incredible and super helpful (potentially life changing). Realistically, yes! We are dependent on retreats & tools like psychedelics for a good chunk of our journey. However, don’t get stuck there and always see/inquire into how you may be able to become independent of any tools. Otherwise, they become crutches. Powerful tools have great potential for delusion & false conclusion. The counter intuitive thing is that the mind makes wrong associations. Meaning, if something produces a result it thinks that thing caused the result but that is not actually true, especially in this context. The more aware you become the clearer it will be that taking a walk, or breathwork, or meditation, or even psychedelics is not what’s relaxing, insightful, or transforming in and of themselves but it’s something YOU ‘DO’ or stop doing which actually determines all internal states. You are all powerful, you just somehow directed your own power against yourself creating conflicting forces. The long term solution is not to force states but to release what is blocking them from being available naturally without any effort or condition (conditions are tools like psychedelics or meditation, etc. ). Meditation retreats, psychedelics, breathwork, etc. seem to get the result (create the consciousness, insight, energy, etc.) BUT they actually just make it EASIER while the opportunity is fundamentally equal in every moment. Nothing is needed to change your state. Except your willingness to become aware of what’s LIMITING it (which is usually some sort of resistance to pain/discomfort/reality!). What makes all the difference in meditation has to do with honesty, surrender, willingness, and relaxation. This is what makes meditation retreats & psychedelics work. And funnily enough, the thing that makes it work is always possible! Meditation retreats and psychedelics just increase the energy and remove distractions which makes it exponentially EASIER. However, growth happens with progressive overload. So easy is great but if you don’t slowly learn to become equally conscious and energetic in normal life as it and even in low states without crutches like meditation, techniques, psychedelics, breathwork, etc. you will be stuck and not get to the highest levels of spirituality where Real Love & fundamental awareness rules unconditionally in any state. Relaxation and meeting the whole of the present moment with all of its pain/discomfort (like wanting it to be in a different state) is what allows you to become aware of the limiting factors and conflicts (pain) within. At the beginning crutches are incredibly helpful - making it SEEM like they are needed or it’s practically impossible without BUT with great guidance / reflection from someone who has walked the path - it is possible to come to a level of maturity, re-centering humility, recognition, insight, and willingness to see that it’s ALWAYS POSSIBLE. It must be that way and it cannot be any other way because you are the source of all things and states. This is not an assumption or philosophy, it’s possible to become conscious of this truth. This is it, in a nutshell (see all buttons not just as gross dependencies like socializing, drugs, etc. but also subtle addictions and dependencies like breathwork, psychedelics, music, thinking AND EVEN - EVENTUALLY - MEDITATION ITSELF! That is the last leap into freedom, transcending even the usefulness of spirituality): I’ll attach a few more words on practical limitations of this radical path as the first comment in this thread below:

It’s like the famous ‘how to get a witch girlfriend’ video. Hope dies last and at last it did come out…

@Leo Gura if you don’t come out we will eventually come in and get you 👀👀

@Leo Gura regarding your post on 3 flaws of conservative thinking: "Leftists regard mankind as cute puppy when it is more like a demonic rhinoceros." This is gold. A suprisingly sobering view & funny as hell as well!

It feels as though we are pulled by addiction. But this is a misperception/deception & trick of our mind. It it less true that anything is pulling. It is more true that we are consciously or subconsciously distracting/pushing ourselves outward, away from something within. We are addicted because it shields us from feeling the weight of our own unprocessed subconscious material. But there are ways to step out of this unconscious hypnosis: Practical steps: Do NOT focus on changing your behavior. FOCUS ON THE SENSATIONS THAT MAKE UP THE URGE. Notice the impulse. See how if you pause for a moment and look within, it's actually uncomfortable. Stay with that. Then continue with the behaviors and stay as conscious as possible, allow everything. This will keep your awareness present which slowly makes it fade away instead of going into unconscious addiction which keeps it running. Patience: Initially, it may just be boredom, numbness, nothing, but see, why not stay with that? Why can't you just simply be (free from all urges to move & free to be, making ever move in pure consciousness)? When we sit with that tension or nothing/boredom, eventually emotions will reveal themselves and through that we rediscover ourselves. Again: Recognize ALL sensations that makeup you and your resistance. Then, and only then, all transforms & heals itself.

Reminds me of the scene at 1 min:

MAYA, ILLUSION, DECEPTION, VOILENCE, CHAOS, SUFFERING, ETC. are both misunderstood/misperceived and the result of that misunderstanding/resistance. When resistance is dropped, and grace grants us vision into the pure Divinity of Her, ALL THAT CHAOS GETS RECONTEXTUALIZED INTO WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS: THE DIVINE FEMININE/Shakti's fierce love offering, Shakti's fierce dance with us. Literal Consciousness made Manifest in Divine Orchestration. It's RAW, and in a way, SEXY in the purest essence of the word because it is challenging/teasing Him, the Divine Masculine, our Consciousness to See through the apparent illusion of chaos/bad/evil. When we are unconscious, She swallows us alive. As soon as we step up and MATCH 'HER' ENERGY WITH EQUAL CONSCIOUSNESS, we not only recognize Her beauty in the greatest mess/chaos but She also IMMEDIATELY 'CALMS DOWN' in our presence and becomes like a devoted cat, caressing our leg. Now to make this real let me share this: last year, I first saw: Police Cam Videos. A glimpse into chaos, violence, and real human conflict. Before I knew it, hours had passed, my nervous system was lit up like a battlefield, my mind wired on adrenaline, hands completely sweaty, and my body locked in a state of subtle or not so subtle tension. I had sworn off these videos, promising myself to never watch them again. But a few weeks ago, I got sucked into the police cam thread here on this forum and binge watched those videos all night. This time around, however, I had a surprisingly different experience - both while watching, and the insights/conclusion afterward. A much more divine one, in fact. Now before I share that, let me quickly share the dynamics that cause us to lose consciousness and get sucked into self-harming behavior. The Ultimate Test of Your Consciousness: Addiction & Adrenalin It feels as though we are pulled toward these things—toward violent videos, towards drama, towards endless stimulation. But this is a misperception/deception & trick of our mind. It it less true that the world is pulling us outward. It is more true that we are consciously or subconsciously distracting/pushing ourselves outward, away from something within. And this is not just about police cam videos—it applies to everything that overstimulates us. The endless consumption sometimes disguised as ‘learning’ but actually keeping us in a cortisol fueled, ever so slightly stressed state where we never encounter all of our suppressed subconscious material, which on the flip side prevents us from accessing the intelligence of our subconscious & superconscious mind. The Ultimate Love Making: When Presence Meets 'Chaos' So after a couple of months of emotional processing and various awakening practices like recognizing awareness & energetic transmissions, I ended up back in the rabbit hole of police cam video. However, this time there was a Revelation Within Violence. I let go of resistance. I stopped trying to suppress my own addictive tendencies. Instead, I watched with full awareness. I stayed present, grounded. And with that, instead of recoiling, instead of judging, I 'stepped up' into my presence, seeing through all my own reactions and the reactions of the people on screen, by recognizing what is actually happening: Divinity. Sheer Shakti. The sheer aliveness of the world. The same aliveness that moves through the orgasmic peaks of intimacy, through the ecstatic bliss of a dancer lost in motion, through the rush of a waterfall thundering down a mountain—this very same force was there, in the flashing lights, in the screams, in the collisions of bodies and fate. There was no difference. For the first time, I actually saw or intuitively sensed that this world—this chaotic, unpredictable, sometimes brutal world—is the dance of Shakti - a true transformative/transfiguring lovemaking. It's a little bit like David Deida describes in his book The Way Of The Superior Man, most fundamentally applied. I now realize, is a much greater and more beautiful challenge than I thought. I massively underestimated the RAW POEWR of HER. I am humbled and also ravenously challenged, invigorated, and willing to step up to the challenge. It requires Shiva’s unwavering presence to meet Her? Meet all emotions, all turmoil, within and without. Do you recognize her through all forms or do her disguises, illusions, and Maya, deceive you, trick you, lure you in, falter in integrity, and retreat as a whimsical presence. The world is not our enemy. It is our lover. Even in the darkest moments of human nature, there is an unspeakable beauty. Perfect in and of itself and simultaneously conspiring to help us awaken & heal. It is the very annihilating pain that is necessary for change. No challenge, no growth. No pain, no growth. Don't micro-traumatize yourself: That being said, I humbly recognize where my body, subconscious, and heart are on the stages below (meme) and meet myself as I am accordingly. This means as long as we cannot instinctively, immediately, and naturally see only divinity, it is much more wise to NOT watch Police Cam videos. They will create micro-traumas. I had to meditate for the entire next two days to purge all the subconscious imagery. If we don't notice this, it is because we are so overstimulated in a string of distractions that these things never surface and just more stuff gets dumbed on top in an addictive circle seemingly 'pulling' us deeper as we slowly drown, with less and less breathable 'life energy'. We are literally suppressing our innate Shakti. Each of us is actually extremely sensitive, which is a super-power and our natural, organic state. Most of us have long lost touch with that beautiful innocent tenderness. We are addicted to overstimulation because it shields us from feeling the weight of our own unprocessed subconscious material. But there are ways to step out of this unconscious hypnosis: PRACTICAL STEPS: Become ruthlessly aware of your distractions. Notice the impulse. See how the pull is actually a push. See every challenge and discomfort as an invitation to step up into our Presence. In other words: stop resisting, allow, and recognize what is happening. Recognize all sensations that makeup you and your resistance. Then, and only then, all transforms itself. Consider reading the book 'the incredible reality of you' by LUCIALORN and attending his online webcasts. I believe that may have been part of the grace that opened this temporary insight to divinity. Shift from consuming to integrating. If a single sentence or insight strikes you, stop. Let it sink in. Don’t rush to the next thing. Don't over-consume. That is unhelpful at best and gluttony as a subconscious avoidance mechanism, at worst. Confront the discomfort. Whenever you feel the urge to indulge in overstimulation—whether it’s violent videos, doom scrolling, or endlessly seeking information—pause. Feel what is beneath that urge. Pause for a few moments whenever an urge arises and see how you feel inside - what may you be moving away from? Initially, it may just be boredom, numbness, nothing, but see, why not stay with that? Why can't you just simply be (free from all urges to move & free to be, making ever move in pure consciousness)? When we sit with that tension or nothing/boredom, eventually emotions will reveal themselves and through that we rediscover ourselves. Awaking can be an instantaneous recognition & recontextualization. Healing is usually a slow and multi-year-long journey. Healing and un-conditioning our reactions takes some time. It's literally rewiring our brain and slowly growing a new, wholly nervous system. The result of integration and pain processing is real, gut-level, embodied liberation. At its core, this is not about discipline. It is about waking up to the amazing beauty of what already is unfolding in the infinite flows of being, in all of it's expressions. It is about seeing that everything—really everything—is Love. And when we are ready, when we finally stop running, we realize that the world was never a thread. She was only teasing us, inviting us to dance with Her.

This is the man: https://www.thedetoxdudes.com/ He recommends the ZenCleanz. I don't have experience with it, nor did I research it but it's supposed to be very effective.

I healed, here's what I did:

I found this video very informative and the possibilities are inspiring. This sets my creativity ON FIRE! Let's create the New Earth with the help of AI.

I wonder what correlations we could draw between forum members who have children and those who do not.