kbone

That's fine, and is what most people try. You will find temporary relief in the relative world of appearances (mind, philosophies, practices, seeking out and obtaining desires, etc), and maybe that will be enough for this lifetime. All good. You want "peace" from the daily panic attacks, just enough that you are comfortabe with the degree of their sincerity, perhaps. Existential suffering that is often spoke of will linger on in the background, subdued by the sense/illusion of control, but life generally (in what might be considered a circular fashion) will continue to provide opportunities to trascend the same repetitive boundaries/beliefs, and it will form a pattern in your life. Just stay aware, and when the time is right, you might remember this discussion and giggle a bit. What I was referring to is that you will never find the "control/answer" you're looking at the level of the problem; trasncending it and seeing it for what it is IS actually what you would want to attempt to do. That you think you deserve something (i.e, the ability to transcend the panic attacks/anxiety) that you don't already have is indicative of your mind playing tricks. The panic attacks are the outcomes of several unconscious beliefs, at the core of which is the belief in a separate self. Carry on.

@Nivsch Control is an illusion; awareness of what is happening in the mind is not. As Oneness becomes more conscious of the conditioned aspects of mind, many of the things one "wants to control" gradually fall away. The actual power ones seeks is in becoming more conscious. And let's be clear, most attempts at meditation and the like are about that seeking. Thus, it might be said, that after meditation has played out its role, simply doing more meditation might actually be seen as a desire to control which, again, is an illusion. Meditation is only meant to slow down the momentum of the conditioned reactions of the mind one seeks to control, to create space, and to make the mind more prone to realization, the true diamond that emerges acausally. The Peace that passeth all understanding.

Excellent synopsis of Ramana Forty Verses on Reality

@Moksha Exactamente. Peeps expect to be able to go back and get it again... when IT's right HERE, right NOW... even before the thought of IT. Just BE ... effortlessly.

@LostSoul It's normal. You had a woweezowee realization of having found something that you never lost. Perhaps there was some sense of accomplishment or spiritual ego that took over. Then, as you thought about it more, you started to think about what happened. You look back and try to emulate the "state of mind" experience, try to think about "how/why" it happened, try to get that clarity you felt, try to empty, etc etc. Now, you're having thoughts about having lost something that you "maybe" didn't find, but had previously realized you never lost. And believing them. Terribly confusing... when you think about it. Sound about right? Have you ever thought about where this whole story takes place when THAT (which YOU actually are) is / has been/ always will be HERE, prior to that whole shebang...? P.S.: Yes, it can be very annoying.... until Oneness gets it. Until then, the mind doth protest. P.P.S.: It's OK to lose your soul. It's an aspect of the process of getting it.

Essence of the Bhagavad Gita by Ramana Maharshi

The guy experienced what he called a "mindgasm" and attributed it to his knowledge of science which, as the theme suggests, saved him from religion. I can appreciate his antagonistic attitude to some extent, but I think he'd also appreciate the depths of "inner" uncovery and/or expressions of psychonauts if he truly got into it. Perhaps he'd even have another "mindgasm". Fun video anyway, and I've shared it with a few religious folks I've known in the past just to see what they'd say. It got interesting, and for various reasons. I've also always been absolutely amazed and in awe of nature in all its manifestations. Just thought I'd share it as it came to mind today after many years.

If there's a word for you It doesn't mean anything I've got some words for you They don't offer anything You cold called everybody But you haven't sold a thing A bad idea gone funny A pinch felt in a dream You thought of everything But some things can't be thought You thought of everything But one thing you forgot is you're wrong And you better not be angry And you better not be sad You better just enjoy the luxury of sympathy If that's a luxury you have And you know no private bad You know that that's the meaning of you're done In a world that's not so bad In a world time was killing in the sun In a world that's not so bad In a world time was killing in the sun In the sun In the sun You took all that moment and kicked it in the sun Now it's gone because you left it in the sun Was a brave idea Didn't mean no harm Now it's burnt because you left it in the sun Was a grave mistake But how could you have known The temperature The distance of the sun

What is primary should always be clearly seen first. There will be time for re-acquainting with the teachings, compassion, and all that jazz. First thing, get clear. It can be a very difficult adjustment and things will be said, peeps will be taken aback, but so be it. Don't put the cart before the donkey.