Sincerity

God

No insulting please. An attitude of hostility and disrespect is met with warning points. Some replies have been hidden from the thread.

It's not like I'm gonna post regularly LOL. I just feel much better, that's all. My energetic system has been freed to a great extent. I came back from a vipassana retreat this week (my 3rd time there, Goenka style vipassana). What a story. I didn't follow the technique at all and just did my own thing. I worked a lot on my character with amazing results. Then came the time to work on the honesty aspect of my character and I was like "well, I'm a liar here since the very beginning. If I really came here to work on character, I should take action NOW on the honesty virtue. This is a confirmation that something is really changing". And so, even though it was scary, I cleaned my room, packed my things, told the staff and the teacher the truth and fucked off from there (6th day out of 10) and half-hitchhiked half-traveled-by-train back home. It was all marvelous. The entire retreat and the coming back was such a trip lol. There's too much to say about everything happening in my life right now so to summarize: I feel really good. I am more intentional. I opened myself up to a lot of new things I've been wanting for a while. I am taking action. I am more aware, free, focused and relaxed. Oh, the retreat was also SUCH a rest as well! I was smiling half the time and basking in the time there. I missed the silence and that clear countryside starry sky, you know? Now that I look at my posts above, I didn't even mention that I left college LOL. I was almost at the end but I quit because different intentions and energetic reasons. I am very confident in this decision. And I laugh at all the NPCs who only channel fear and conventional wisdom and tell me "b-but you'll have issues being recruited by the companies!!!". FUCK the companies. I trust myself and the universe. The perfect opportunities for me will readily come. And hell, of course it's not even about waiting for any opportunies - right now I am WORKING on becoming independent, building crucial skills and planning to get the hell away from my country in about 1,5 years. Before the new world war comes. I am attracting the new, amazing, focused life I am dreaming of - by working my ass off. And since I'm doing that, the world is also sending me useful opportunities aligned with my energy. Everything is just perfect. And the disbelievers will stay in their gloomy perspectives, not having faith that even a sliver of passion is possible in their lives, thus never changing anything. I wanna force-choke all these pitiful mental slaves and say to them: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

WE ARE SO BACK

Here's what I advise you. Disregard the veganism/animals for a moment. Think about what you live for in general. What do you currently want to develop in life the most? What energy/trait/value? What do you wish to become the most? This profound, general inner reason could be the answer to your veganism motivation, and other things as well. Random examples: "My recent struggles and experiences in general have been requiring from me that I develop FOCUS in life. I want to be FOCUSED. How can I use this reason towards veganism? Well, since I really care about the animals, I want to be FOCUSED on what I care about most and thus I WILL stick to my vegan diet. I'll do it for FOCUS. I'll do it for ME, because I want it the most in life right now." "I really want to develop WISDOM in life right now. I want to be WISE. That's what life has been leading me to. How can I use this reason towards veganism? Hmm... well, I really care about the animals and I realize it is wise to follow my heart and my truth in spite of intrusive thoughts and cravings. I want to be WISE and thus I WILL stick to my vegan diet, because this is respecting myself and otherwise I will feel shit about myself in life, and I know that's not worth it. I'll do it for WISDOM. I'll do it for ME, because I want it the most in life right now." I deliberately tried to come up with traits that don't necessarily have anything to do with veganism on the surface. But here's the crucial insight: when you have a profound inner reason for being, you can rationalize pretty much ANY action with it. You just have to convince yourself towards using a certain energy for a certain thing. You literally have to carve a path in your mind - from an energy pool to a desired behaviour/action! And you CAN convince yourself of anything. This is very profound. In short, focus on what YOU want about YOURSELF the most and then go from there. USE THE ENERGY WHERE IT'S PRESENT! Do with this advice what you will. Might click with you, might not. This is my wisdom. Good luck.

Then find what you feel you do want to develop in you. Find personal reasons. Or fight an uphill battle forever with external motivations. What I said about love was an example.

It is technically "for yourself", but it is less appealing than doing it for literally yourself. There is a difference between "I love animals" and "I love developing my love which is the core of me. I fucking lust after that sweet energy and growth. God, please help me change so that I can be more of myself." "I love animals" seems harder to focus on. You probably have to visualize animals being killed to motivate yourself or something. Whereas with the focus on your love, you focus on something more positive and deeply personal.

"I love animals" is quite a weak motivation, in my view. I find that the best reasons to change are for YOURSELF. Don't do it for the animals, do it for you. Meaning: you can do it for love, if that is a persistent core energy in you, but that doesn't equate doing it "for the animals". You can do it for developing YOUR love, the love in YOU. Get what I mean? "For the animals" is an external motivation. I find the strongest motivations are internal, not depending on external circumstances. You want to build up traits in you that do not depend on anything out there and you can just bask in whenever you want. Do it for YOUR intent to be loving, good, disciplined, focused, healthy, etc... Whatever YOU care about developing about YOU.

Sorry to see you go. But there's no "democracy" on the forum. The major banning/unbanning/allowing to stay decisions are 95% Leo's will. The other 5% is eg. users being banned due to accumulating 20 points, us immediately banning their duplicate accounts, etc.. Mods won't just slap someone with a 20 point warning, that's Leo's domain.

Stop and ground yourself. Do normal things. Do something fun. Deconstruction is not all there is to life, and doing it too soon can be harmful.

Of course you don't have to overcome EVERY one, and you won't. Should have mentioned this in my original post. You will feel callings to let go of certain facilitations at some points in life though and when these callings come, it's best to act on them because they are callings for the growth of your character/energetic system. The facilitations are often very addictive and hard to let go of though, and it's easier to convince yourself that the callings are just irrational, crazy thought and should be discarded.

Yeah that's kind of true. But also in a sense you have more freedom to focus on your purpose when other things are taken care of for you. Facilitations are there because one isn't ready yet to transcend them. So it doesn't necessarily mean that one is "a slave". These "restrictions" are basically self-created.

I'd certainly not go into any "spiritual career" anytime soon. Yeah, facilitations.

I'll 100% be proud of this decision on my deathbed. And I'll make more like these I'm sure. I want a life that's lived, and not just be a slave of comfort and patterns. I want my skill and the truth of me to be a signal to the world. I'll build up my portfolio. Fuck these companies. Thanks for the comment though!

A facilitation is basically when responsibility for something is outsourced for you so you don't have to care about it. Society is one enormous facilitation self-created by its members for everyone involved. The responsibility of being a doctor, lawyer, politician, farmer, guy sweeping the street is outsourced for us. But the even bigger facilitation (within facilitation, within facilitation...) is the mind and all of its structures and illusions/deceptions - which are THE facilitations! When you're under an illusion, the "other side of the illusion" is outside your conscious responsibility and so you can live your life without giving the slighest shit about it. And then reality itself.