tsuki

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About tsuki

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  • Birthday 04/16/1989

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  1. And what exactly shapes the subconscious mind? From my self-observation, it is mostly stuff that is repressed in the name of maintaining a socially acceptable self-image (either mine, my peer group, or my parents), which is basically ego operation. In this sense, the subconscious mind is created and maintained for the sake of self-survival of the collective ego.
  2. I noticed within myself that most things that I find hyper-attractive about women, in a sense that they basically shut down other considerations, are things that make a woman look like a teenager or a pre-teen. Things like a slim figure, no body hair, submissive behavior, short, big eyes, some form of naivety, blonde hair, etc. I don't think that I'm exceptional in this respect and I don't buy into the theory that this is based biologically. This is clearly conditioned, as a means to prevent me from maturation. I find this very unsettling. Throughout the history, female beauty standards were drastically different and our current ones are not the apex. I find little, or no reason for a grown-ass man to not be attracted to a mature woman. Think about this. Why would things like body hair be a biological turn-off in any other creature? This is insane. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminine_beauty_ideal
  3. Funny that English has a verb "mind" that literally means "to be busy with". "I mind my own business" Ha! You do indeed!
  4. Yes.
  5. I am telling you to listen to your feelings, to your body, about the matter. Your body is telling you that you are in conflict and I'm telling you that you will most definitely not get out of it by picking sides. Look into this matter, investigate what you promise to yourself that you will get out of "knowing reality". Then, investigate illusion and ask yourself whether or not "the prize" it is present there.
  6. What feels creepy is a thought "I don't know" in the presence of belief that you should. You are under the impression that reality is somehow better than illusion and that knowing it will somehow make you more noble. All of this kind of thinking is false. Neither will knowing reality, nor living in illusion make you more noble. What you want is to resolve the conflict between the two, but resolution does not lie in more thinking. Thinking and speaking is for communication, not for knowing. Feeling is for knowing, just like you know already that you are in conflict. Do you want to feel good?
  7. Hmm, that would be: why distinguish reality from illusion in the first place? These are charged concepts that create duality for the sole purpose of fragmenting your awareness.
  8. I've been giving this some thought recently, and investigating into the nature of the dream. Your, so-called "waking state" is a glorified state which seems more real, simply for the purpose of creating duality between rest and non-rest. This duality is used to mistify your sleep and to create a sacred ritual which covers up the true gifts sleep brings. Then, these gifts, are what you promise to deliver yourself if you stay wakeful and alert. In my particular case, I was promising to myself that I am working to attain freedom and safety. Of course, there is nothing more freeing and safe than the dream you are experiencing during the night, because even if you have night terrors, then the worst that can happen is to wake you up, or you fall into deep sleep. Coincidentally, this is exactly what happens to you during the so-called "wakeful state", but it is all covered up by the "sacred ritual" of going to bed early.
  9. @Derek White It all depends on your energy. If you are a mature masculine man, then making your woman feel good will turn you on and will be a pleasure in of itself. Think about it. Why wouldn't it? How could relationships ever work out if it weren't possible to like making other person feel good? This is not the same as being in a relationship as a sole source for the other's happiness. This could never work out. I'm using "mature masculine man" as a technical term and not a moral judgement. It is perfectly fine to be a feminine man, or in the process of learning. In fact, I think that it is absolutely crucial for a man to get in touch with his femininity.
  10. @Vision When you are under the influence of false beliefs, and reality does not meet your expectations, then you want to change reality so that its nature is different. This means that you are actively working to make things worse. This is how culture, or collective ego, was created and its intent is to actualize false beliefs. Its nature is inherently in opposition to what is real, or good. Actualization of false beliefs is ego's terminal goals, but there also exist convergent instrumental goals, such as self-preservation, self-improvement (amassing power), conflict and cooperation. These are the characteristics of what we conventionally call ego in western culture, but these are not its defining traits. The definition of ego is the intent to actualize false beliefs, or in other words, ignorance. Inheritance of false beliefs is a part of the self-preservation agenda. One of such false beliefs is the notion that you are an entity that is separate from its environment, that this environment is hostile and that you cannot rely upon anything other than your intellect. This set of host beliefs create the illusion of the small man living under your skin that has to be protected with deliberate thought. Mind you, that 'ego', or 'collective ego' are not 'somethings', that you can grasp, smash, or otherwise fight. Ego is what you do when you react to your false beliefs. Collective ego is culture, which exists as institutions whose purpose is to spread ignorance. Not all of your beliefs are false and not all institutions are collective ego. True beliefs, however, are like dead mind tissue that obstruct what is apparent, and serve no useful purpose. This is the method by which the collective ego twists and turns honest expressions of truth. It does so by teaching it without practical application, as a theoretical concept, thus making real knowledge beliefs that are up for misinterpretation. Other than that, there is a false belief in that our nature is inherently flawed and that we have to develop abstract virtues of character. This only gives rise to pride and comparison, which in turn create hierarchical order within society.
  11. @Salvijus thank you for sharing, this was insightful.
  12. Read Meditations on the Tarot: A Journey into Christian Hermeticism if you're interested in Christian mysticism.
  13. Yes, that is because you try to manipulate your experience to illicit some effect. That will never lead you to the truth of the matter. The experience of 'human stuff' is an assumption that you have about what you are. This is a deep rooted assumption reinforced by culture every step of the way. It seems that you don't know a lot of stuff about the world, or that the world is full of contradictions, but that is merely your own conflicting, contradicting and untrue beliefs. Only by inspecting them, seeing what they are, that they cover up, or otherwise deny what is true, you will see the truth. As for the method of inspection of beliefs, observe how you feel. Feelings are the connection to your true nature and you will feel whether a thought is true, or not. Some thoughts, are so deeply rooted that you think them to be true, you think that you are supposed to feel this way. This is the feeling of "human stuff" you are doing. You are not supposed to add beliefs that would make it seem as if reality is connected. This is the original feeling of "I", being whole so much that there is no difference between you and the world.
  14. @LSD-Rumi Karma is your actions biting you in the ass. Then, you don't recognize this, get angry with the world, and try to fix the world, which further reinforces the notion that your will is free. Acting in reaction to false beliefs will never create harmony, because they oppose the natural order which is already present. This seeming opposition of the world is resistance that you experience and take to be the little man inside. It does not go any further than this.
  15. @LSD-Rumi You have it ass-backwards. It is the narrative of free will that spawns the narrative of limitation. The belief in free will goes basically like this: You are a small man living inside of your head. This small man has ideas about the world that are not caused by anything else. This is why the small man's will is called free, because it acts without any strings attached to him, his thoughts are uncaused. Now, since the small man cannot do whatever his free will dictates, he says that he is limited. What I am saying is that there is no small man inside, and that his will is not free. Everything that happens in your experience is caused by something. You developed the belief in a small man to cover up your lack of self-understanding. Then, you invented limitation to cover up your lies. Then you invented God, as an abstract entity in the transcendental realm that is not up for questioning, to excuse your imagination and delude yourself that this fantasy is perfect. In reality, everything, the whole, infinite, intelligent chain of causation, is God, and it is perfect, but you do not yet realize this, because your don't see deeply enough.