Ropuch7

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About Ropuch7

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    Poland, Warsaw
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  1. My father has it. Asymetircall, stronger in the right ear. It started a couple years ago, he doesn't exactly remember when. It got worse over time. Possibly caused by neglecting health for years. We are looking at: - diabetes (fatal sugar levels, now mostly under control) - overweight (up to 145kg, now at 110) - severe sleep depravation (averaging 4h/day for months, now at 6h) - completely sedentary lifestyle (implemented daily 7km walks) - constant stress related to multiple debts, and not making enough money (strong progress here) + more resulting complications and overall feeling of helplessness/overwhelm (much better now) Despite all of the improvements, tinnitus stayed the same. It ranges from 8 to 10. He describes it as "the sound of train brakes", and says, speaking to me that "it's louder than your voice". Present at all times, but Dad takes it surprisingly well. No major emotions related to it other than annoyance. Only in recent months, have I started pushing my father to fight it. Unfortunately, basic health care in Poland is very modest, and we can't afford a specialized tinnitus clinic. So he went to 3 different doctors and learned nothing. Soon he is going to MRI. Is your cure somewhat universal or targeted at one particular cause of tinnitus?
  2. Dropshipping, affiliate marketing, and digital products have similar perks. For decent results, all of them require serious work. I spent lots of time overthinking which one's the best for me. I could probably write a book explaining my thought process. I'll spare you that. It boils down to this: Dealing with physical products is much closer to my heart. I already know something about it, have many ideas for it, and even some excitement (despite all the resentment). The remaining two, I don't feel at all. And resentment is even bigger. Dropshipping seems easy enough to start. There will certainly be challenges. At this point, I am willing to try it just take any action, for the painful procrastination spiral to stop. Only after any success, I will consider iterating or changing the direction.
  3. I started the topic in one of the lowest points, as my last attempt at formalizing the problem, after which I had a kind of breakthrough, and gained some clarity. I do think it was procrastination. I also think I am addicted to it. Addicted to an endless rethinking of my plans and distracting myself in the process. To test it, I decided to quit the distractors cold turkey. I gave myself a temporary ban on Yt, news, social media, checking messages, random snacking, and even this forum - I am only here because of the first relapse. After posting that I'll be back off the grid. I kept myself from breaking for the past week and managed to push the needle a little bit. In silence and limited stimulation, my state of mind changes drastically. I know it's banal, but in my case, it is very pronounced. Because deep down, I am not that confused. I am leading myself to that useless state by stubbornly disrupting the flow of thoughts. @TheCloud You are right. And for me, the main emotion causing the procrastination is fear of choosing the wrong strategy. Fear of acting foolishly or missing out on better opportunities. I am deeply unsettled by the idea of dedicating myself without contemplating other alternatives enough. Then again, the consciousness of how my material situation influences my emotions in deep ways creates pressure for me to take action quickly. It's not really about waiting for the riches, and more about stability and independence from conflicting surroundings. Instead of reconciling this mix, my mind falls back on learned comfort zones. It feels mechanistic and reflexive. Emotions of fear and safety-seeking are activating it, but the specific way of coping with them seems learned. Hence I call it an addiction. Does it make sense? @Girzo I appreciate your honest feedback. You make valid points. And I was unclear about my plan. Shortly: E-commerce in the US, because seems easier to start. There is some hustle with the formalities, yes. But the audience is much bigger, people are on average better-off, and more eager to buy on social media. I started an LLC because it is necessary for selling on Tiktok Shop. It also helps with opening some accounts (banks, suppliers, e-commerce software, ads for the US). Obviously, there is a lot of sense in taking a job and saving up. However, the e-com path, with all its flaws, is much more aligned with my values. And I think I can make it work, despite limited resources. For now, I am not willing to settle with anything "worse" than dropshipping. I want to at least give it a proper try. And even the hatred I described, shouldn't really stop me. I could use the low-conscious marketing for gathering any money, and then immediately invest it into something more honest. Even if just a more ethical version of dropshipping. Does that make sense for you? Or do you think the whole strategy is flawed? I probably come off as suddenly sure of myself. The truth is, I did think it through. There are also many subtle and personal aspects of my decisions, which I am unable to explain here, even in my long-ass posts. That doesn't mean I don't welcome your thoughts. I did have a little mental breakdown just a week ago, so I probably shouldn't trust myself too much. So please, do point out the holes in my thinking. For now, I am signing off. I will probably check back in a week or so.
  4. Hi, I need some thoughtful outside perspective. I may have gone a little overboard with the details, but I really want to avoid triviality and wasting time. And you can always ask chatGPT for TLDR. I don't ask for life advice easily. I thought through my situation 100s of times. I got to a point where I lost trust in my own judgment. I could use some direct advice coming from more experience. My purpose: For all of my teenage years, I was focused on understanding the reality. I lacked mentorship, so I also "wasted" time on games, YouTube, movies, Internet. "Wasted" in quotes, because I don't really judge myself. I immersed myself in diverse types of vibes, aesthetics, communities, humor, etc. Free digital wandering gave me a glimpse of the different tastes and textures of life From a practical perspective, I recognize this as highly dysfunctional. Anyway, in the back of my mind, I only cared about THE TRUTH. This combined with a catholic upbringing made me into a devout teen. Between 15-16, I went to church every morning. As expected, religion didn't quench the thirst for the Absolute. At 17 I left the church and became miserable nihilist. At 18 I got into Peterson's work, and eagerly took on materialism and evolutionary psychology as my new belief systems. ~6 months had passed before I realized this was dogma all over again. So, I dropped back into nihilism. I finally admitted to myself I was lost and looked up "how to deal with nihilism" on YouTube. That's how I found Leo. I listened for 100s of hours to the bald man vocalizing all of my suppressed intuitions and much more. Around 19th birthday, I had my first trip, and in the following year, I did a total of 20-30 trips on LSD, shrooms, 2c-b, and 5-meo. I got glimpses of comprehension beyond the conceptual. I decided I need to transform my life to accommodate more serious inquiry. I spent the whole 20th year of life contemplating the future, and my place in the human world. For now, my purpose is to learn more and explore further. I don't REALLY know how the world works. For now, I refuse to take on any simplified mission statement like: "fighting [whatever]", "helping others with [whatever]", and "developing [whatever] technology". I don't REALLY understand systems, human mind, technology, geopolitics, economy, relationships, health, art, and especially THE TRUTH. My goal: I need financial independence and abundance to enable: Unrestricted spiritual development, learning, exploration, uncompromised health optimization, creating a new social circle aligned with my values, and clarity of mind. Some of those things may not require massive wealth. But they do require fund reserves or passive income. Otherwise, they are highly constricted. The more ambitious the goals, the more freedom matters. My financial situation up until now: Before 18, I was too busy deconstructing my values to think care about school or making money. My parents provided me with the necessary minimum. After that, I decided I needed to move out. Living with a big family and animals is highly distracting, and I only cared for mental clarity. I got a handyman job for a stable income and enrolled in paid clinical trials for a cash boost. I ended up sharing an apartment with a friend, due to high rent. The job was mind-numbing and morale-degrading. Living with a friend not much better than with family. However, during 8 months on my own, I learned a lot. About life and my priorities. And my family readjusted their attitude towards me, started to respect me more, and listen to my ideas. I decided to use it as my strategic advantage. In the last October, I struck a temporary deal with my father: - I get to leave the job, move back home, and get more independence and privacy. - Family will support me while I create a better source of income for myself. - Father gives me a job as his trainer/coach/assistant and I help him fix his health. Unfortunately, I wasn't mindful enough (busy tripping) to save up much, so I only have about $1500. My family can't invest in my venture as they struggle with high debt. My strategy: Using the buffer of Dad's money and trust, I allowed myself to be picky. I analyzed available opportunities looking for the following criteria: - time and location freedom - I prioritize my health and flexibility. I need to be able to optimize my day. I also need to oversee Dad's training. - not overly technical - I can learn a lot, but I don't have any hard skills. - quick to generate income - lack is a bottleneck for almost all of my areas of development - low responsibility - I don't want strong ties with partners or clients. I will probably change my financial vehicle after I gather enough funds. - cheap to start - I only own $1500, and prefer to avoid loans. I spent a couple of months grappling with different ideas. The only one that checks all the boxes is Social media dropshipping. Obviously, it's very overhyped and not the easiest thing to do properly. However, to me, it seems valid and attainable. I could use it for up to 2 years to gather money before investing in something more personal and conscious. My progress: In the last two months, I managed to: - Form an LLC in the US (I live in Poland) - Obtain an EIN (tax number) - Open business bank accounts I spent most of that time on: - doubting and rethinking my approach, or rather convincing myself that the strategy makes sense - getting shiny object syndrome from other shallow business models (like mini mobile apps) - watching AI/tech news, wondering if I shouldn't be doing something with AI - getting distracted by random shit (same old - YouTube, movies, forum, family) What's stopping me: When I think about doing TikTok dropshipping, I deeply hate it. I hate shallow business gurus and their capitalistic, self-righteous ideology. I hate doom-scrolling culture and the thought that I would contribute to it. I hate selling random shit to people who don't need it, further distracting them from real problems. I hate dishonest, MrBeastified ads that only exist to hack the algorithm and human attention. I hate the thought of creating this type of business and taking part in this stupid shitshow. This creates an enormous friction in my mind. My moral spine, sense of beauty, and intellectual integrity stop me from partaking in that. And my strategic mind tells me that I will do this only for a short time, and use the money for the net positive. Yet I keep thinking that: "I can do better", "There has to be another way". I want to be smarter and create a more conscious business. But I know that building a conscious business requires mental clarity and focus which I don't have, exactly because of the lack of money. This creates a painful paradox for me. Unable to solve this puzzle, I fall back into my life-long addictions and total paralysis by analysis. My mind acts like an animal trapped in a cage. Flailing its paws and roaring. Doing anything to avoid confrontation with the problem. My dilemma I see two main options: 1. I am severely addicted to distractions and overthinking. All of this is an elaborate rationalization conjured up by an immature, unstable mind. I should just start dropshipping, selling whatever, and then use the money to improve my life, which will give me more clarity for further decisions. 2. The irrational behavior, stalling, and procrastination, are pointing to the fact that my rational mind is forcing something which I deep down don't want to do. I miscalculated my priorities and chose the wrong vehicle to get to my goals. I should listen to my heart, take a few steps back, and come up with a new strategy from scratch.
  5. @Leo Gura I am curious if you could share any unobvious lessons from your money-making period. Something you would've done differently? I am asking especially about the balance between "keeping your soul" and working your way into getting financially independent. Of course, I understand it's very personal, but maybe some general insights come to your mind?
  6. @Sandhu It's true that my advice is next-step from your situation. For now you do need to focus on finding a job.
  7. @Sandhu I am 20 as well so my advice does NOT come from experience. But, I have somewhat similar goals and already did my research. You may be interested in some simple online businesses like dropshipping and alikes. You would need to save up money but not a ton. Then you might want to research how to run it remotely in another country (e.g. dropshipping works best in developed e-commerce markets, so it's harder in poor countries). Of course it requires learning, and trial and error but it seems relatively attainable. I plan to do it myself, can report back in a few months. I saved up some money from a part-time job and paid clinical trials. I live in Poland and already started a company in the US and paid roughly $350 for third-party help. If you follow that path, be careful. Internet is full of hypetrains and overpriced courses sold by overconfident gurus. Don't fall trap to them. Good information is out there to be found, often for free.
  8. Already reading it. I might post some review or cool insights when I'm done.
  9. There are some dramatic claims about how the way we breathe fundamentally influences health. Sure, certain breathing protocols and techniques have been gaining popularity as of late. But I don't think most people think of breathing as THAT influential. If you don't have the time to watch, here are some of the claims I found shocking: A huge part of ADHD, asthma, and other chronic diseases can be fixed by proper breathing lung capacity is a major indicator of longevity Even a slight impairment of air circulation leads to a lowering of mental capacity. There have been studies showing students scoring substantially less in exams if they were writing them in classrooms with closed windows. Has anyone on this forum been in that rabbit hole? Maybe someone that read James Nestor's book? I'd love to read your personal anecdotes and thoughts on this.
  10. Yup, Freebase won't dissolve as good in water. You want to use just enough vinegar to dissolve the powder. Most of the plugging solution should be water.
  11. Testing out 1g of new mushrooms. Took them in lemon tek. When you drink it on an empty stomach, shrooms kick in quickly and the trip is nicely condensed to around 4 hours. And previously it worked exactly like that. The mistake was eating a pretty big dinner around an hour before tripping. Because of that: Mushrooms came up with a 2.5-hour delay. They were slowly absorbed (probably because of mixing with food) which made the trip last around 6-7h. Overall, it messed up my sleep + made me think that I took too little and it won't work, so I ate another meal during the first 2 hours which later gave me nausea.
  12. @Carl-Richard Watch this short video: It made me think of your question. It briefly describes how were DeepDream videos and pictures made. In short, researchers told the AI to find and highlight previously learned patterns in random photos. It was supposed to give them insight into how the machine "thinks". Created pictures hold an uncanny resemblance to some of the psychedelic visuals. Now, psychedelic drugs are known to increase the communication between different brain regions or connect those which are normally separated. In the sober state, what you see is very stable as your brain is sticking to well-trained and tested patterns. It is connected with its survival efficiency. However, when you allow the free flow of energy, you get patterns mixed. You could see it as a sort of information leakage. The patterns which are not supposed to be applied are suddenly being projected because the "control center" is being bypassed. It can also be the case that as the brain works more holistically, the visuals represent a larger brain/mind structure. This would be a similar point to what @acidgoofy was saying (about looking "inside one's body"/seeing "one's energy"). I don't have a clue regarding the meaning of specific shapes and colors. What I am trying to do is to give you more dots to connect. Obviously, The AI searching for the "dog pattern" in clouds cannot be directly compared with the human mind which is much more complex. So take it with a grain of salt.
  13. After analyzing several studies and personal stories, I am still unsure what the exact answers are. But I do have some news. I trusted my gut and tripped again, following the same protocol as previously (25mg, rectally, dark and silent room). During the trip, I focused on letting go as much as possible. Honestly, I was forced to let go of the attachment to living as a human and controlling myself. The experience was so intense and alien to my human psyche, that it would be unbearable if I tried to resist. So I vanished from the material domain for what seemed like an eternity. I accepted that I may never make it back. Of course, I am describing it now as a coherent thought process, but at the time it wasn't so clear at all. The main point is that I managed to overcome my fear. 11 days have passed as of today, reactivations had occurred as expected. However, the emotional load has disappeared. I'd describe them as neutral or even slightly positive. I share that story as a personal anecdote for you. I do not recommend taking drugs as 5-meo if you feel unstable or negative. I decided to do it as an experiment and was carefully observing my state and attitude all the time.
  14. Would they get more intense or frequent as you trip more?
  15. Hello, I'm sure those of you who tried 5-meo-dmt are familiar with the subject of reactivations/flasbacks. It was disscussed several times on this forum, but I feel that there is not so much info on what actually causes it or what to do when it happens. Here's context of my specific situation. I've tried 5-meo for the first time three months ago. I was doing one trip a day for a four consecutive days. Totall of 4 trips in 4 days. Dosages around 20-25mg, rectally. Trips themselves weren't bad, but they weren't great neither. I was focused on exploring, felt tones of confusion. But the point is that since that experiment I had been experiencing reactivations, mostly when falling asleep or after waking up in the middle of the night. Those experiences I would call rather negative. It is like involuntarly going into a mild trip, but predominant emotion is fear. The strongest reactivations took place soon after the trip marathon, and next ones were only weaker and weaker, to the point where now they feel like half-awake nightmeres with that distinct 5-meo quality. What do you think is causing it? I had a few trials with lsd, shrooms and 2c-b in the past and never had any flashbacks. What's diffrent with 5-meo, as it seems to do similar things to most users? AND the most important question for me now: are these reactivations a sign to withhold from further use of 5-meo? I spent last 3 months on grounding myself and finnally feel ready for more. But I wouldn't like to screw with my mind too much. I want to respect the powerful tool which 5-meo certainly is. I had that intuition that maybe I actully should trip again and try to resolve negative energy from the state in which I gathered it. What do you think of that? I will be grateful for any advice. We can make this thread sort of summary on the subject.