Leo Gura

What's Your Attachment Style?

132 posts in this topic

Dismissive/Avoidant


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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Disorganized- thanks for sharing the survey and reading material. Very insightful for those of us on the spiritual path.

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Posted (edited)

I dunno I heard about so much relationship material I've read and re-did the quiz so many times after implementing p.d stuff and working on my emotionality. (Couple of years back)

 

Secure I was avoidant before I worked on this a couple of years back...

 

Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 2.67 | Avoidance: 1.67

Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 2.67 | Avoidance: 6.00

Score Partner: Anxiety: 3.00 | Avoidance: 1.67

Leo.PNG

Edited by ValiantSalvatore

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I got "Anxious/Preoccupied", doing a bit of self-psycho-analyzing - I guess even though I got everything I needed materially/emotionally and my parents were always there and provided for all my needs, I STILL feel a general angst and slight but consistent background paranoia. That I'm always doing something wrong, or I'm not normal.

Even though my past 3 relationships have been very healthy, I guess I just have low self-esteem even if everything seems to be going perfect.

Tis a curse.


I'm not an alarmist..... but someone should break the glass. And pull that red T-lever down!

To get their attention, start lobbing the Light Grenades that burst and blind them with the truth!

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!

 

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Currently reading Attached by Levine & Heller, good read in this context, they talk about these attachment styles. 

I'm mostly Anxious/Preoccupied, but also have Secure features. Feeling needy af especially when starting to date someone and it doesn't go away by having more girls to give attention to. I crave intimacy, I'm over-sensitive to rejection and often worry about the state of the relationship. It's like I need frequent confirmation that it's going well. 

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Anxious/preoccupied 


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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I noticed these models were getting a ton of attention in the past years 

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   I got the attachment style secure. However, I felt like it's inaccurate to me because I don't socialize and express a lot of emotion to other people outside my circle, family and friends. I guess because I got most of my needs met, but not the higher needs. I also went fast with this quiz to answer as close to instinct.

   Gonna be taking this quiz multiple times to be sure my attachment style is actually secure. Something's off lol.

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Overall Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant
Got fearful-avoidant for both my parents, but got secure for my partner.
 

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6 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

I felt like it's inaccurate to me because I don't socialize and express a lot of emotion to other people outside my circle, family and friends.

But who really does that? I'm also not gonna express my intimate, deep emotions to people I only met 5 minutes ago.

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Posted (edited)

Nice to see Leo posting about attachment styles.  I’ve seen a lot posted here from the girls on the forum before regarding this topic.  
It’s an important part of shadow work that shouldn’t be ignored.  Amazing if you can work on this area. best way to make yourself more secure is by being in a relationship with someone who has a secure attachment type.
basically secure people don’t freak out or feel uncomfortable dealing with a partner/friend who is anxious.  They are comfortable being a rock and grounded.  They also have strong boundaries so can handle these situations well. 

Edited by Pavement

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Anxious/Preoccupied.  Now i wonder what that means.

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Posted (edited)

:(-_- I already know this is an area I am working on and will be for the next 5-10 years.

"Every night a new lonely tower looking down at all the wreckage... and you say 'Maybe we don't deserve love...'"

Screen Shot 2022-01-03 at 7.39.45 PM.png

Edited by Thought Art

"Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home...Hear the soldier grown 'We'll go it alone!'" Intervention -Arcade Fire 

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Posted (edited)

Disorganized/fearful avoidant. Go figure. 

Screenshot_20220104-165825_Samsung Internet.jpg

Edited by ndm678

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Secure.

My issues don't have much to do with friends, family, and lovers. Or coworkers. Or people in general. 

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