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About Chew211

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  1. @Uncover Look up porn induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). Check out videos by Noah BE Church on YouTube. I had the same problem as you, but now I'm recovering, and getting better every time I have sex. You're going to have to cut porn and porn substitutes out of your life. You'll also have to go without masturbation until you're able to have satisfactory sex. Also, it does seem that you're not spending enough time with foreplay. Focus on all the other stuff except insertion. You want to build up your "ability" to be turned on by a human partner.
  2. Dude, I was in a similar boat. I looked at a journal entry from 2 years ago questioning whether I should just give up. At the time I was 21 and had never been on a date in my life (much less had sex). Two years later, I have 2 girls that I'm seeing (not hiding anything from them), and I'm continuing to improve my approaching and dating whenever I can take the opportunity. There's still more failiure than successes, but I'm becoming more of man. Have the focus be on your character development as opposed to trying to get (a) girlfriend(s). You will improve over time. My two successes from daygame (the two girls I'm seeing now) were from approaches that were not stellar at all. And my first date with one of them was akward, and I didn't know if I was gonna see her ever again (sealed the deal with her on the second date though )
  3. @Globalcollective I've been out on the field and been getting results as well. I used to have a red/black pill mindset, but that hot me nowhere. The more I let go of those ideas (limiting beliefs), the better results I get. Unfortunately a lot of people like to armchair philosophize about gender dynamics-- especially when they have no skin in the game.
  4. This^^^ It's a short answer, but it is true. The point of dates is to have fun and hook up. Whether that person ends up being a long term partner depends on how the relationship progresses after sex.
  5. What happened to me is that I got porn induced erectile dysfunction. I couldn't get it up one time I wanted to have sex. Now, I'm recovering. I got to the point where I don't need Viagra anymore. But still not 100%. When it's a choice between your erections and porn, the choice is clear.
  6. @ravlondon I would reccomend hotels as a place to close if you have to drive pretty far. I have to drive an hour and a half away to the city to do approaches, so if I close, I do it at a hotel. (In Japan though, so love hotels are a thing). After seeing a chick a few times, she might let you stay over at her place-- but she has to take a liking to you first, so make sure your a selfless lover
  7. This guy seems like he has solid inner game. I'm learning my style from someone else, and so I personally wouldn't have had as long of a conversation. 4 minutes is all one needs. My two successes came from talking with the girl for less than 4 minutes, but making a strong enough connection. My body language is also more sexual. I'm introverted-- and that's okay-- I don't want or need to talk that long on an approach. On a date though, talking is great.
  8. @TDW1995 Check out my post on this forum titled "Approach Anxiety? No problem." I wrote my solution. I had (and still have) the same problem. But with my method, I'm able to get over it every session.
  9. @Sussso It's infatuation. It's a craving, and it is temporary. Ask for her number, go on a date If you are too afraid of getting rejected by her, then I'd say it's neediness.
  10. What I'm seeking from the approaches is a clearer sense of the world, and to be more secure as a man. One of the chicks I got from daygame took a liking to me and is a (sex) friend now. She has been married, she cheated on her husband, and she usually does on night stands with guys and never sees them again. I learn a lot just from hearing her stories. I want to meet (and bang, and develop relationships) with a wide variety of women. The shattering and reconstitution of reality is the ultimate process, and game is just one of the subprocesses. I'm also learning to love and accept women as they are-- I'm past my redpill rage and misogyny.
  11. @28 cm unbuffed Good advice. And the successes I've had resulted from going in the flow. One from an indirect approach and another from direct. I usually pick out a feature I like and use that as an opener, or a situational opener. As long as my mind doesn't get in the way, it's a good interaction.
  12. I’m a beginner to day game, and game in general, but I’ve developed a way to get approaching even if you have approach anxiety. The idea is baby steps. To someone with little to no experience in approaching, there’s a lot of limiting beliefs running around in his head, and the whole process of going up to a girl, making a conversation, going on a date, and then having sex with her seems way beyond something he is capable of pulling off. I’ve had two successes from day-game thus far, and my mind still isn’t convinced that it’s as simple as it actually is. The solution I’ve discovered is to break down the entire process into small steps, and focus on one step at a time. With each step there’s a certain amount of tension and perhaps some limiting beliefs as well. The idea isn’t to numb yourself to the tension, but rather to increase your capacity to handle tension. The first step is simply moving towards a girl. Instead of just standing there or walking the other way, just take steps towards her. Do this enough times until the tension is manageable. This step is pretty simple, and most wouldn’t have trouble getting past it. The second step is to go close enough to the person to where you can touch them on the shoulder if you extended your arm halfway (essentially the distance you would be if you wanted to approach them). Do this until the tension is manageable. The third step is to go close enough to the person to approach, and you maintain that distance for ten seconds. Do this until the tension is manageable. This is also the step where you might have limiting beliefs come up, like thinking that you look creepy, people are watching, or that you’re making her uncomfortable. None of your limiting beliefs are true, but you need to do this step enough times to prove your limiting beliefs wrong. After the third step, all that’s left to do is to actually open your mouth. I’ve found that conversations are easier to start than it might seem— as long as you don’t let your mind get in the way. If you still can’t do a full on approach after step 3, then do some hit and runs (compliment, and then leave). You might find that doing step 3 with girls that you are really attracted to would involve more tension. Any steps toward the girls you find attractive is progress. The benefit of doing this in a session is that even before you start doing actual approaches, you will already feel like you are making progress because you are stacking up small wins, and getting over tension. You might have to go through the steps every session, depending on how infrequently you go out— but I find that it doesn’t take long to just start warming up with the third step. I would recommend a shopping mall/complex to do this in. Go into store where the women are relatively stationary so that you can practice going near them, while you pretend to be browsing the items on the shelf yourself.
  13. Been porn free since December 2018. But it took many attempts to quit to make it stick-- don't let failure discourage you. I'm also starting to get success with women, so as of November 2019, I've been fap free. However quitting porn is only supplemental. The things that will make the difference is the actions you take in order to challenge your limiting beliefs, and the shattering and reconstitution of your worldview as you gain new experiences.
  14. @Romer02 go with your gut. Don't be logical. When it comes to this sort of stuff, intuition is more reliable. Your intuition might be wrong, but you need to use it anyway to develop it.